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2 people listed for same (similar) quote[edit]

lily thomlin and robin williams are both listed as saying: "reality is crutch for people who can't handle drugs". who ACTUALLY said it first? the quote they each say is VERY similar, maybe one or two words different. but reality/crutch/people/can't/handle/drugs is there in both.

I have been unable to find a direct source for Robin Williams ever giving this quote. While it's attributed to him in many places, I've been unable in my research to find what interview/film/etc he said it in. If it's Lily Thomlin, it's in fact Jane Wagner writing for Lily Thomlin who would deserve credit as the lyricist. The original use is most likely Tom Waits, as it much more embodies his aesthetic and sentiments than either of the others mentioned. And here he is on film saying it: Tom Waits on Letterman

Homer Simpson or Matt Groening?[edit]

It's my understanding that we attribute quotes to the fictional characters that made them, particularly if, like Homer Simpson, he is a notable character. --Mihoshi 18:13, 20 December 2005 (UTC)

Your understanding is wrong. The notability of the character is not an issue -- the correct attribution is to the work. It should be attributed The Simpsons, Season #, Episode # (and name) ~ MosheZadka (Talk) 18:18, 20 December 2005 (UTC)

Reason for deletion of this particular quote[edit]

  • "It's like weed is my girlfriend, but this is my bitch" --Anonymous
    • When substituting weed for an organic recipe from the Anarchist's Cookbook. Source: a neighborhood newsletter run by teens

Here is the quote.

Here are my problems with it. And why I deleted once and now twice:

  • No source
    • A "neighborhood newspaper"? Might as well write "I read it somewhere"
  • Does not make sense
    • Think of the structure of this sentence: Weed is my girlfriend but this is my bitch. What is his bitch? And why does substituting weed for an organic recipe explain the quote? What does weed, one item, have to do with a whole list of items, here a recipe? The sentence as well as the source are poorly worded to the point they don't make any sense.

Sveden 16:18, 3 August 2005 (UTC)

Attribution of "Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune."[edit]

On this page it's attributed to Giuseppe Garibaldi, but on the Alcohol page it's attributed to Thomas Fuller. Certainly one of them must be incorrect. 12:45, 6 November 2005 (UTC)

There are published instances of this quote as a European/Latin proverb that well predate Garibaldi (Thomas Fuller's being one of them.) However it appears in Fuller's work Gnomologia which is itself a collection of proverbs and famous phrases, and there is an occurrence which predates either of them: Wine has drowned more men than the sea. ~John Bodenham, c.1598 Because of the linguistic construction of classical Greek and Latin, the name of a god is often substituted for their physical manifestation (e.g. Ares for war, or Bacchus/Dionysus for wine) meaning that both Bodenham and Fuller's proverbs would likely be the same sentence, and they are likely both translating (or quoting those who had translated) the same original Latin source, which could easily predate either of them by a millennium or more.

GNU Fortune[edit]

When the going gets tough, the tough go grab a beer.
Some people have no respect for age unless it's bottled.


"America's view on drugs; if it feels good, it probably should be illegal." -Keanu Reeves

Google only shows me Wikipedia

Many of the unsourced "quotations" should probably be removed after some sort of due diligence attempt to verify. There is just too many of them to be useful in this article. Further, I do not know if wikiquote has guidelines re: living persons, but it does not seem to be a good idea to attribute quotes about drugs to living persons with no cite whatsoever on this large of a scale.
All of that to say, I am removing the Reeves quote. And, barring objections, will begin removing others (over time) if I cannot find some sort of verification. tartaruga 23:49, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Split entry? Drugs in Music Entry[edit]

  • Considering the length of this entry (and the consequent unwieldiness , especially considering the rampant lack of sourcing) and the number of quotes from songs, I suggest splitting the quotes from music sources into their own separate entry.
If there are no complaints, I will try to get to this sometime in the next week or so.
In hindsight, this does not seem to be a good idea at present. If we remove the quotes from music sources from this entry, then we are left with a handful of sourced quotes and the entry devolves back to being mostly a mass of unatributable and unsourced "quotations." I will put this idea on hold for now. tartaruga 23:52, 2 February 2007 (UTC)
  • Also, any help with sourcing the remaining quotations (or providing better sourcing for the "sourced quotations" we do have) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. tartaruga 18:21, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

Atmosphere - The Skinny[edit]

Revision here: [[1]]

Would like to see Atmosphere's "The Skinny" put back under tobacco with more content. I can understand if it needs to be trimmed a bit as it is a long quote, but I would suggest keeping a more interesting part than just the chorus which is rather direct.

Some of the more interesting lyrics:

  • when he was around you seemed mature
  • he helped you calm down and feel secure
  • sure he go get 'em when they still just kids
  • give 'em some gifts and get on they lips

  • i know it feel like you can't live without 'em
  • and you're still too embarrassed to tell your parents about 'em
  • it's kinda crazy how he's on your mouth
  • every time you need a little bit of help-you-out

  • it's like you don't know or care
  • but he's right there in your clothes and your hair
  • you're known to let him in your home
  • i can smell his breath on this microphone
  • your lips taste like his dick
  • i can always tell when he's been in your whip
  • you just one of a million trick
  • now take your ass outside
  • and go talk to your pimp

Strmtrper6 15:30, 12 October 2010 (UTC)


  • Dope fiends have always been with us, and they are guilty of many things, but a compulsion to rule the world has rarely been one of them. Power mongers are early risers; opium eaters sleep late.
  • Who lives longer? the man who takes heroin for two years and dies, or a man who lives on roast beef, water and potatoes 'till 95? One passes his 24 months in eternity. All the years of the beefeater are lived only in time.
  • A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.
  • A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
  • Acid is not for every brain... Only the healthy, happy, wholesome, handsome, hopeful, humorous, high-velocity should seek these experiences. This elitism is totally self-determined. Unless you are self-confident, self-directed, self-selected, please abstain.
  • Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
  • Annual drug deaths: tobacco: 395,000, alcohol: 125,000; 'legal drugs': 38,000, illegal drug overdoses: 5,200, marijuana, 0. Considering government subsidies of tobacco, just what is our government protecting us from in the drug war? -William A. Turnbow
  • Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
  • Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
  • To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
    • Homer Simpson
  • Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.
  • Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
  • Cocaine addiction is God's way of saying you make too much money.
  • Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need to do is start the war on education. If it's anywhere near as successful as our war on drugs, in no time we'll all be hooked on phonics.
  • Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.
  • Drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. If you do them, you're bad, because drugs are bad. It's a bad thing to do drugs, so don't be bad by doing drugs, m'kay, that'd be bad.
  • Reality is a crutch for those who can't handle drugs
  • Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.
  • Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
  • Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink.
  • Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
    • From the movie Arthur
  • Everything is a drug; it depends on the dose.
  • First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
  • For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
  • Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
  • Herb like fruit. Keep you healthy, mind clear.
  • Homegrown is a good thing, plant that bell and let it ring.
  • How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
    • Homer Simpson
  • I asked someone why he did cocaine. He said 'because it intensifies your personality.' I said 'Yeah, but what if you're an asshole?'
  • I didn't go looking for LSD, it came looking for me; it decided to ring my doorbell, to make its presence known... the world needs it now more than ever.
Source Salvador Dalí quotations
  • I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.
  • I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.
  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. Imagine waking up in the morning and knowing that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
  • I have never abused drugs. I take really good care of them.
  • I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
  • I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.
  • I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
  • I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
  • I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
  • I used to do drugs, but don't tell anyone or it will ruin my image.
  • I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
  • I used to have a drug problem but now I make enough money.
  • I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker.... but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.
  • I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
  • I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.
  • I'm in favor of it as long as it's multiple choice.
  • I'm not addicted to cocaine...I just like the way it smells
  • If a man wishes to rid himself of a feeling of unbearable oppression, he may have to take to Hashish.
  • If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
  • If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
  • See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years....... Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal fucking high on drugs.
  • If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
  • If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
  • If you've ever bought drugs before, you understand that for some bizarre reason you have to feign this relationship with your dealer. It's like you're not really going to him to buy drugs. You're going for a social visit. Drugs are the surprise that just happens when you get there. 'Oh Hash? I didn't know!' And he's talkin' to you and you're tryin' to be interested, you know, oh yeah? "No really ... I love Foghat. No, seriously ..." And inside you're like, 'Just fuckin' give it! I hate you. Your house smells like cat pee!' Why do all drug dealers' houses smell like cat pee?
  • It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
  • It is difficult to live without opium after having known it because it is difficult, after knowing opium, to take earth seriously. And unless one is a saint, it is difficult to live without taking earth seriously.
  • It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times.
  • It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
  • Let me be clear about this. I don't have a drug problem. I have a police problem.
  • Marijuana is taken by .....musicians. And I'm not speaking about good musicians, but the jazz type...
  • My advice to people today is as follows: if you take the game of life seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in, and drop out.
  • My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
  • My peers, lately, have found companionship through means of intoxication — it makes them sociable. I, however, cannot force myself to use drugs to cheat on my loneliness — it is all that I have — and when the drugs and alcohol dissipate, will be all that my peers have as well.
  • No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.
  • No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.
    • Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires
  • Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
  • Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
  • One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
  • One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
  • Pharmaceutical companies will soon rule the world if we keep letting them believe we are a happy, functional society so long as all the women are on Prozac, all children on Ritalin, and all men on Viagra.
  • Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
  • Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
  • Say no to drugs. But be polite, say: 'No, thanks'
  • Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on its own.
  • The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.
  • The more people smoke herb, the more Babylon fall.
  • The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.
  • The smell of opium is the least stupid smell in the world.
  • There are three side effects of acid. Enhanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third.
  • There is a war on drugs, and the people who are ON drugs are winning.
  • There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.
  • This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
  • Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries.
  • We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.
  • We (moi), as a group, do not recommend... verily, we repudiate any animal/mineral/vegetable/synthetic substance, vehicle and/or procedure which might tend to reduce the body, mind or spirit of any individual (any true individual) to a state of sub-awareness or insensitivity...that is to say we are here to turn you loose not turn you on
  • When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
  • Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?
  • Why drink and drive when you can get high and fly?
  • Wine is fine, but whiskey's quicker...suicide is slow with liquor.
  • Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
  • Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion.
  • Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
  • Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
  • Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
  • Rae: So... um, what's heroin like?
    Irving: Its better than sex! 'Til ya start throwing up...
  • Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
  • You can achieve the maximum of your mental possibilities without drugs. They just raise the maximum. It is like a graph of sin(x) and 2sin(x). The problem is that higher maximum point requires lower minimum to exist.
  • Drugs are like nuclear powered cars. They seem like a good idea until you crash.
  • The thing is, what else are you supposed to give hookers in hotel rooms? 'Yoghurt, anyone? I made some yoghurt the other day, would you like a bit?'
  • If you maintain a steady hand on the tiller, you won't feel so bad when the time comes to crash the boat.
  • Dont drink and drive, or else you might hit a curb and spill your beer.
  • If you're not wasted, then the day is.
  • When I said no to drugs, I had my fingers crossed.
  • Time is never wasted, if you're wasted all the time.