CSI: NY (season 8)

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CSI: NY (September 2004 – February 2013) is an American police procedural television series set in New York City. It is a spinoff of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and CSI: Miami.

Indelible [8.01][edit]

Mac Taylor: I'm going to the opera tonight. Claire, would you hand me one of those things?
Claire Taylor: No, who are you going to the opera with?
Mac Taylor: John from the Robbery Squad.
Claire Taylor: John from the Robbery Squad? You're going to the opera with John from the Robbery Squad?
Mac Taylor: Yeah, that's right, he's an opera buff. Claire, would you hand me...?
Claire Taylor: I've been asking you to take me to the opera for I... I... I don't even know how long, and now you're telling me that... (She finds two opera tickets in the cotton swabs container) Nicely done.
Mac Taylor: John from the Robbery Squad is going to be very disappointed.
Claire Taylor: What would you do without me?
Reporter: (Over TV set) Good morning, everyone. 68 degrees at 7:30am on this partly cloudy Sunday. The date is September 11, 2011, marking the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Flags will fly at half-mast and a moment of silence will be observed at 8:46am as we pay tribute to the victims and the fallen heroes of that tragic day. We will never forget.
Adam Ross: I need your signature on this, boss.
Jo Danville: I told you not to call me that.
Adam Ross: Well, whose signature do I need at the bottom of this report?
Jo Danville: Mine.
Adam Ross: Then you're the boss.
Jo Danville: Interim boss.
Adam Ross: I'm not gonna call you interim boss.
Jo Danville: Well, that's what I am, at least until Sinclair fills Mac's position.
Adam Ross: (About Mac's belongings) I call dibs on the Reagan photo if he doesn't come pick up his stuff soon.
Don Flack: How often you keep the place open after 4:00 a.m.? [Witness hesitant to answer] Mr. Lannigan, I thought this might go without saying but I'm more interested in the body lying in front of your bar than what was going on inside.
Hannah McCray: You lost your wife on 9/11, right?
Mac Taylor: Yes, I did.
Hannah McCray: Did they...? Was she ever...?
Mac Taylor: No, no, she was never identified.
Hannah McCray: Was she the...?
Mac Taylor: Claire. Her name is Claire, and the victims are not just DNA profiles. They have names.

(Hannah grows silent)

Mac Taylor: I'm sorry, I... I didn't, I didn't mean... I know you don't think that.
Hannah McCray: Is that why you left the police department? To do DNA research that might help identify her?
Mac Taylor: No, I'm helping to develop new techniques in extracting DNA because 1,121 victims still remain unidentified. Those families don't have closure, and... I know what that feels like
Claire Taylor:This is crazy, Mac. There are still so many people inside.
Mac Taylor: Claire, look, I know you want to help. Listen to me. Just stay on the phone and get as far away as you can.

(Jet engine roaring)

Claire Taylor: Oh, my God.

(Loud crash)

TV Newswoman: Oh, my God! Another plane just hit the other tower. A second airplane just flew directly into the South Tower. This is obviously not an accident.
Mac Taylor: Claire? Claire! Claire!
Adam Ross: (Imitating Jo) Well, uh, I'm just... so sorry, sir, you're just not the man who replaces Mac Taylor at the head of this crime lab. Yeah, not with that pocket protector and those silly Pee Wee Herman-looking glasses.
Adam Ross: (Imitating the man) Uh, but, um, then why did Chief Sinclair want to interview me and have you show me around the lab?
Adam Ross: (Imitating Jo) Well, that's probably because he's just got to make believe that Mac Taylor's never coming back. He doesn't even know the difference between a GCMS and a scanning electron microscope. Well, I'll tell you what, sweet thing, okay? I'm gonna introduce you to a bunch of people that you're never gonna be supervising...
Lindsay Monroe: There's something seriously wrong with you.
Adam Ross: (Gasps) Awkward. How long were you there?
Lindsay Monroe: Pretty much the whole time
Adam Ross: When you're the man and you see that the interim boss is not happy with that answer, you dig a little deeper.
(Jo smiles amused)

(After arresting some perps by tracing a cell phone)

Danny Messer: Technology.
Don Flack: Got to love it.
Jo Danville: It never hurts to have a confession.
Don Flack: That shouldn't be too difficult. Those two aren't exactly brain surgeons. They'll give it up. Hardest part might be keeping their names straight. The white guy's name is Mike Black. They call him White Mike. The black guy's name is Mike White. His street name is Black Mike.
Jo Danville: I'll take Black Mike.
Don Flack: Great. I got Mike Black.
(Jo looks confused)
Don Flack: The white guy. Don't think about it. But trust me, it's right.
Don Flack: I can't imagine what that withdrawal thing feels like.
Mike Black: Kind of like a cop who can't get a donut.
Don Flack: (About Mike Black) He's either an amazing liar... or I'm not as good at this as I think I am.
Joe Vincent: When my son Jimmy got on the PD, he was assigned to this precinct. The two of us would meet here every Sunday morning for breakfast. For the past ten years, uh, every Sunday I go to Mass and... then come back here to this counter alone. I... try to remember his voice... the cop-fireman banter, the love, respect we had for one another. Every Sunday that goes by, memory fades a bit. But... this is how I want to remember him.
Mac Taylor: Well, that's why we're doing this project, right, Joe? Keep those memories alive. And, uh... while I hate to admit it... it's been a real honour working with you on this project. I feel like I've found a friend for life.
Mac Taylor: Here's to us. A grumpy old fireman with no personality and a... charismatic... charming cop who came together... to help to build something that will last forever.
Joe Vincent: Charismatic, my ass.
Mac Taylor: I'm just imagining how cluttered that desk of yours must be now, now that you're the boss.
Jo Danville: Oh! Interim boss. It's your desk. Although I wish you could've seen their faces when I moved a few things in there. It was like I had just taken over Joe DiMaggio's locker.

(Both chuckle)

Jo Danville: It was... but we both know I'm just keeping the seat warm for you until you come back.
Mac Taylor: I'm not coming back, Jo.
Mac Taylor: Hey, Jo.
Jo Danville: Yeah?
Mac Taylor: Measure twice, cut once.
Jo Danville: I know. I know. Look at everything again... every report, every crime scene photo. Answer's in there somewhere.
Jo Danville: That ring around the blood spot is called skeletonization.
Don Flack: Why don't they just call it a ring?
Jo Danville: Okay, that's it. Forget it. I give up.
Don Flack: Sorry, it would be much more interesting if you guys used smaller words.
(Soon after the Word Trade Center collapsed, Flack and Danny stumble upon each other)
Don Flack: Hey, buddy, you can't go down there.
Danny Messer: It's okay, I'm on the job.
Don Flack: What's your name?
Danny Messer: Messer. Danny Messer.
Don Flack: Listen to me, Messer. You don't need to go down...
Danny Messer: No, I got to get down there and help!
Don Flack: Listen to me, Messer. They're all gone!
Danny Messer: I want to go help these people!
Don Flack: They're all gone.
Joe Vincent: You lost your wife, I lost my son. It is what it is. There is no good way to let go of that.
Mac Taylor: We were both down there on that pile, Joe. Digging, searching, hoping. When we first met, I remember you telling me how moved you were at seeing some of the same faces, day in and day out, down there at the site. Everybody coming together to pitch in and help out. How inspired you were that so much evil and pain could be channeled into so much good. Celebrate that. Share that. You said you did it for the families. You're one of the families, too, Joe. Don't forget that.
Jo Danville: We've known each other for about a year now, Don. I have never told you this, but I think you're one hell of a detective.
Don Flack: Thanks, Jo.
Jo Danville: You're welcome.
Don Flack: Jury's still out on you, interim boss.
(Adam is trying to get the tie knot right)
Lindsay Monroe: Do you need a hand?
Adam Ross: No, I got it. Got it. Just got to...
Lindsay Monroe: By the time you're finished, it's gonna be the 20th anniversary.
Danny Messer: (About Lindsay) Where's... Adam and, erm... what's-her-name?
Adam Ross: Can I tell you something?
Lindsay Monroe: Sure. What's up?
Adam Ross: I slept through it.
Lindsay Monroe: Through what?
Adam Ross: 9/11. I've actually never told anybody that before. Just... too embarrassed, you know? And everyone always asks me, you know: "Where were you?" And... I would lie.
Adam Ross: (About 9/11) I was asleep. You know, I went out the night before with a couple of my buddies, and we had a few too many drinks, and I didn't wake up till after 2:00. And by then, the entire world had changed. The next morning, I got up at 5:00 a.m., and I went down there, and... I stood behind a barricade with these construction workers for, like, 12 hours, you know, until they opened it up and let us clean up the debris.
Lindsay Monroe: So you joined the bucket brigade?
Adam Ross: Yeah.
Lindsay Monroe: Me too.
Adam Ross: I thought you were in Montana.
Lindsay Monroe: I was when it happened. I watched the whole thing on TV, feeling totally useless, and like I wanted to help, but they weren't letting planes in, obviously. And then I heard that trucks from all over the country were going to New York. So, I jumped on a local fire truck, and I got here a few days after. We might have been on the same line, never even knew it.
Mac Taylor: For the last four months, it has been my honour and privilege to be a part of something so important and that I am truly proud of. To contribute a little bit to so many who lost so much. These 417 first responders, the portraits of their faces etched in granite and honored here on this Brooklyn Wall of Remembrance, will live in our hearts forever. Ten years have passed since that tragic day. Many of us here have been personally affected and share a loss. And so once more, we pause and we pray, and we will continue to do so as each anniversary passes. In helping to finish this memorial, I've met some truly remarkable people. And we've had the opportunity to meet with many of you who generously shared your thoughts and feelings on how best to remember these fallen heroes who demonstrated such unmitigated courage and selflessness. The effort to build this wall of remembrance has been a great blessing, as we attempt to heal our broken hearts. And here today we gather, a people united not only in our grief, but in our resolve to stand together as one family of Americans. God bless these brave souls who served so selflessly. They will never be forgotten.

Keep It Real [8.02][edit]

Mac: You want to act stupid? Break the law? Fine, go ahead, do it. Just do us all favor, leave the innocent people out of it.
Lindsay: Excuse me, Officer.
Danny: Sergeant.
Lindsay: Sorry, Sergeant. I'm looking for Danny Messer. He's my husband. At least I think he is. I haven't seen him in days.
Danny: You trying to break my heart?
Danny: (About Miranda Beck) She found the body. Claims that she and the vic left the club she was playing last night and came back to the apartment. Probably thought it was the luckiest night of his life.
Lindsay: Unfortunately, it was also his last.
Danny: Hey, stranger. So you're back.
Mac: It's official. I talked to Sinclair yesterday. Retirement papers have already been pulled.
Danny: Great. That's great news. Welcome back.
Lindsay: Oh, hey, Mac. We missed you (To Danny) See? I told you he'd be back.
Danny: You did? You didn't say that.
Lindsay: Yeah, I did. I said he'd be back.
Danny: I said that, but whatever.
Lindsay: (To Mac) Yeah, no, I said you'd be back.
Mac: All right, all right. Are you two done? We have a dead body here that needs to be processed.
Danny: Obvious signs of forced entry. Probably gonna want to phenol these shards of glass. There's, uh... no usable prints, and, uh...
Mac: Are you working the crime scene or me?
Danny: Nah, go ahead. Do your thing. I'll just go check on the canvass.
Mac: He misses all this.
Lindsay: Yeah.
Jo: Tyler, I'm your mama. I meddle. That's what I do.
Adam: (Handing over money) 20... 40... 60.
Hawkes: Yes. Whoo-hoo! Pleasure doing business with you.
Adam: Yeah. Anybody ever tell you that money cannot buy you happiness?
Hawkes: Ah, you want to bet?
Jo: What was that all about?
Adam: What?
Jo: Sheldon, money.
Adam: Oh. Hawkes had him pegged coming back November 30 or earlier.
Jo: Which means you must have had him coming back after November 30.
Adam: Uh, kind of, yeah.
Jo: What do you mean, kind of?
Adam: Uh, kind of, as in... (Clears throat) ... erm, never.
Jo: You mean you thought Mac Taylor was never coming back to this crime lab? How come you didn't let me in on this bet? I'd have cleaned up on all you fools.
Jo: Hey!
Mac: No Good to see you, Mac? Welcome back to the lab? Nothing?
Jo: (Chuckles) I never thought you were gone in the first place.
Sid: Mac Taylor. Now, there's a sight for sore eyes.
Mac: It's good to be back, Sid.
Sid: So, what's it like?
Mac: What is what like?
Sid: On the outside. You made it, man... you were free. What did that feel like?
Mac: It felt good. I'm very happy with what I accomplished.
Sid: A piece of skin. Found it attached to the victim's clothing.
Mac: Is that some kind of reptile or a fish?
Sid: Yes, you're correct. It's from a reptile.
Mac: It's good to be back.

Adam is simulating a break-in when Mac walks in)

Mac: (To himself) Now, this, I missed (Raises voice and calls out) Adam!
Adam: Hey, boss! Welcome back.
Jo: You forgot you broke into your boyfriend's apartment, where he was later murdered while you were conveniently asleep in his back bedroom, is that right?
Miranda Beck: I was in shock. I... I wasn't thinking straight
Jo: About the break-in or about the murder?
Miranda Beck: I didn't think you'd believe me. I've gotten in trouble before.
Jo: Shoplifting... fake ID... nothing that forecasts murder. But I could be wrong.
Flack: He does have just over 12 grand in a savings account.
Mac: Where does a college kid like him get money like that?
Flack: I could think of a few ways, none of which are legal.
Hawkes: Hey, Mac... results on the smudge Sid collected from the victim's face.
Mac: (Reading from the screen) Ink, glass cleaner, mineral oil... auto degreaser.
Hawkes: Yeah. I'm not sure what it means, either.
Mac: You get the name of the tattoo parlor this lotion came from?
Hawkes: Mac... you haven't been gone so long that we've forgotten how to do this.
Flack: (To a girl who is having a yin-yang tattoo done) That's a good choice: yin and yang. Thing is, right now you're thinking yin; when you're 50 years old, you'll probably be thinking yang.
Chad Hendricks: (About dolphins) You ever look inside the mouth of one? Insane teeth. Rows of them, razor-sharp. They could rip a person to shreds if they wanted to. Oh, and get this. They're the only animal other than humans to have sex for pleasure.
Flack: A dolphin? That's what he wanted on his back permanently?
Chad Hendricks: (Laughs) I hear you, man. I do my best to steer people's decisions so they won't regret it later, but this kid was determined.
Flack: What's a tattoo that size go for?
Chad Hendricks: Uh, that one ran a little over a grand.
Flack: A thousand bucks for Flipper?
Chad Hendricks: 200 bucks an hour. What could I say?
Flack: (About a man who got a dolphin tattoo) Listen, if he happens to come back in for a, uh... starfish tattoo, let's say, do me a favor and give me a buzz
Jo: Tyler, before I hear about the new roommate, what happened to the old one?
Tyler: I had to kill him. I asked him who his favorite player on the Knicks was, he said Woody Allen.
Jo: See, that's funny. I like him.
Tyler: You don't trust my judgment.
Jo: I trust you. It's just this Alex... Kirkland person. What's his major, anyway?
Tyler: (Chuckles) Art. I know. Scary, okay?
Jo: Adam, how many college roommates did you have?
Adam: Uh, whew... okay. Let's see, first, there was Todd, but that ended with the whole atomic cat eye incident.
Jo: Atomic cat eye incident?
Adam: Yeah, you know, when like, someone drinks too much, and they pass out, and you, like, sneak up and...
Jo: I don't really want to know. Just ballpark it for me.
Adam: Uh... 12, I guess.
Jo: 12 roommates?! Any of them ever get arrested?
Adam: Todd, and it was for public indecency (Chuckles).
Jo: Tyler's moving in with a new roommate.
Adam: Oh, man! You broke the Mom code and looked him up?
Jo: Well, I didn't get any specifics. The juvie record's sealed.
Adam: (Reading from Jo's computer screen) Trespassing and criminal mischief. Hmm. Looks like you guys got something in common (Smiles teasingly).
Jo: Snakeskin? No indication our vic or his roommate had snakes for pets.
Adam: Well, somewhere along the line, our vic had a run-in with a boa constrictor.
Adam: The whole Tyler roommate thing... it's gonna be fine. You know, usually people with priors never commit crimes within a five mile radius of where they live.
Jo: Oh, get out of here!

(Adam laughs)

Lindsay: Mac, what would you say if I told you I could quadruple your money?
Mac: You trying to talk me back into retirement?

(Lindsay laughs)

Mac: I'd say, it sounds too good be true, not to mention illegal.
Lindsay: Oh, it's definitely illegal. You got five bucks on you?
Mac: Five bucks? (Retrieving his wallet) This better be good.
Mac: The apartment search turn up anything?
Adam: Yep... auto greaser, ink jet printer, scanner, glass cleaner, hair dryer... everything you need for printing counterfeit money.
Mac: Well, the problem is, everything you just listed is also a regular household item, easily explained away.
Adam: Everything but the scanned image of the $20 bill.

(About artwork)

Hawkes: Let you in on a little secret?
Jo: Hmm.
Hawkes: I used to do this when I was younger.
Jo: Really?
Hawkes: Yeah.
Jo: You, Dr. Sheldon Hawkes?
Hawkes: Oh, it just feels like a lifetime ago, but, oh, yeah.
Danny: (About a perp who is spending counterfeit money) What's he buying?
Lindsay: You name it... cigars, booze, jewelry, clothing... a lot of Adidas track suits.
Danny: (Scoffs) Who is he, Run DMC?
Lindsay: Look, honey, I can't get out of here. Can lunch wait, like, an hour?
Danny: Scheduled break, babe. You know that. It's now or never, sweetheart.
Lindsay: Are you mad?
Danny: Yeah... I am mad, but not at you. At, uh… Run DMC over here.
Lindsay: Felony lunch-jacking. I'll make sure they add it to his list of charges.
Randy Davis: (After a customer has just tried a guitar) If I hear 'Sweet Home Alabama' one more time, I swear, I'm gonna sell this place.
Jo: You have a problem with Alabama?
Flack: She's from the South.
Flack: Is this the gun you used for the murder? You know what I'd call this? Proof.
Randy Davis: I didn't pull the trigger. It was an accident.
Flack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? You may want to invest in some nail polish remover before you get where you're going.
Tyler: I would like you to meet Alex, my new roommate...
Alex: Nice to meet you.
Jo: Nice to meet you too.
Jo: (To Tyler) You didn't tell me she was a very attractive girl (To Alex) He didn't say you were unattractive... he just didn't say you were a girl.
Tyler: (About his new roommate) You found her picture on the Internet, didn't you?
Jo: No.
Tyler: Or one of your police databases.
Jo: It's not like I intentionally went and looked her up. I just happened to stumble across some stuff...
Mac: I'm trying to sympathize with you here, Josh. Really, I am... but what I can't get past is that you willingly dragged your best friend into this. You want to act stupid, break the law? Fine, go ahead, do it. Just do us all a favor... leave the innocent people out of it.

Cavallino Rampante [8.03][edit]

Jo: I always tell my kids that the only reason evil exists is so that good can triumph over it.
Mac: If it didn't, we'd be out of a job.

Officer Involved [8.04][edit]

Danny: Whenever you take a life, no matter how justified, it messes with you. You're gonna want to talk to someone about it. You want to talk to someone who's been there.
Danny: No more Sergeant Messer. Just a... plain old detective.
Lindsay: Does that mean I don't have to salute you in the morning anymore?
Danny: I still need you to do that.
Lindsay: You feel all right?
Danny: I mean, it wasn't easy giving up the stripes, you know.
Lindsay: It's the right move, Danny.
Danny: This is where I belong.
Danny: Wow. I can, uh... return to normal duty.
Mac: You're not relieved.
Danny: Of... I mean, of course I am. I am. But I can't stop thinking, Mac, how I treated these cops like they were my family, and they didn't think twice about throwing me to the wolves. I've been doing this job way too long (Sighs) I got to work with people I can trust.
Danny: Can't believe this, Mac. You know, I figured I could be a good boss, to guide these cops, help them avoid the mistakes I made.
Mac: The last time you dealt with Internal Affairs, I called you into my office. You remember?
Danny:(Sighs) Yeah, I remember. They decided not to investigate me on the shooting in the subway, thanks to you. You brought me into your office, you ripped me a new one for my recklessness... which I deserved.
Mac: You're not the same cop as then. You've grown. You're an excellent boss, Danny. If you were my sergeant, I'd follow you anywhere, and that's what I intend to tell Adler when he walks in here.
Lindsay: It's hard to pull a weapon on someone, right? Squeeze that trigger?
Lauren Cooper: I'm sorry. If you're a reporter, I got nothing to say.
Lindsay: You know what else is hard? Sharing a squad car with somebody every day and stabbing him in the back when he had yours.
Lauren Cooper: Who are you?
Lindsay: I'm Lindsay Messer.
Lauren Cooper: I can't talk to you.
Lindsay: No, it can't be easy actually facing me.
Lauren Cooper: No, I'm telling you that we can't speak.
Lindsay: I mean, you know what you're doing affects my family, but it's much easier when we're out of sight.
Lauren Cooper: I'm not supposed to have any interaction...
Lindsay: Like saying you're in a relationship with my husband.
Lauren Cooper: Hey, that's not true!
Lindsay: I know it's not true.
Lauren Cooper: I don't even know why they're suggesting that.
Lindsay: So you're only comfortable with some of the lies?
Lauren Cooper: I'm not lying.
Lindsay: So Danny told you to say that Pete Miller was holding the gun?
Lauren Cooper: Not in so many words.
Lindsay: How many words does it take?
Lauren Cooper: He suggested...It... it was how he put things.
Lindsay: What things?
Lauren Cooper: I don't have to explain myself to you.
Lindsay: No, you don't. You know why? I get this. This is self-preservation, plain and simple.
Lindsay: Think about this, Lauren. If the roles were reversed and Danny was in your shoes, you really think that he'd be looking out for number one?
Lauren Cooper: None of this was my choice. From the moment that I pulled that trigger, it was all out of my hands. I always wanted to tell the truth.
Lindsay: So look me in the eyes, Lauren. Right now. It's just the two of us. Tell me that Danny Messer told you to lie.
Lindsay: I just found out they're putting Danny on modified assignment.
Mac: It's part of procedure, Lindsay. It doesn't mean anything.
Lindsay: But there's going to be a hearing, and maybe even criminal charges. This is like a natural disaster, Mac. You see it coming, and you can't do anything to stop it.
Mac: Yeah, I know it feels like that now, but there's a long road to go before anything's decided here.
Lindsay: Danny's career is on the line, and I don't even know why. He didn't do anything wrong.
Mac: I know.
Ray James: Pete and I grew up together. He always had my back.
Flack: Blah, blah, blah. What were you doing at that bar?
Mac: You weren't shot this morning. You were shot two nights ago. After your involvement in a brawl outside Rattigans. A cop was shot at that night.
Flack: You can talk to us now, or we can have you transferred to the medical ward at Rikers. Where I guarantee you the nurses are not as cute.
Ray James: On my way to the subway this morning, out of nowhere, someone shoots me. Must have been a stray.
Mac: Didn't call 911?
Ray James: I only live a couple blocks away.
Flack: So what, you hopped here?
Mac: Pete Miller didn't fire the gun. He was standing next to the guy who did.
Lauren Cooper: It was an accident. I was aiming for the shooter. It was a good shoot.
Leo Banks: Don't say anything else.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: If it was a good shoot, you wouldn't have lied about how it went down.
Lauren Cooper: I wanted to tell the truth.
Mac: Then why didn't you?
Lauren Cooper: I was told not to.
Mac: By who?
Lauren Cooper: It wasn't his fault. He was trying to protect me.
Mac:Who told you to lie?
Lauren Cooper: Sergeant Messer.
Jo: Maybe our suspect is still running around with the green fairy.
Mac: We're talking about a suspect who walked up to a random stranger and blew him away.
Jo: Well, guy's not playing with a full deck.
Mac: But he's got a loaded gun.
Lindsay: I got good news and bad news, Sheldon. Good news is, this fiber looks like something Adam pulled off Pete Miller's clothing.
Hawkes: What's the bad news?
Lindsay: It means I can't work this case anymore.
Lindsay: If you find the gun, it will clear Officer Cooper.
Hawkes: Clears them all.
Lindsay: Well, not necessarily. I mean, even if you close this case today, it's still an embarrassment for the department. They're still gonna want to point the finger at somebody.
Hawkes: For what?
Lindsay: You have any idea how many administrative regulations there are, Sheldon? I do, 'cause I stayed up all night reading about them.
Hawkes: Look, Lindsay, I know you're worried, okay? But we're scientists, and there's no empirical evidence to suggest Internal Affairs is on a witch hunt.
Lindsay: Well, I hope you're right.
Jo: Get the Geek, huh?
Flack: I bet he told his mother he was in show business.
Flack: Meet Thomas Hurtz. Star and proprietor of 'Get the Geek'. This guy insults you, you pay him five bucks, get a chance to shoot him with a paintball gun.
Jo: Well, clearly, the shooter didn't understand the rules of the game. He shot him with a real gun.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: Why did Officer Cooper use your weapon?
Danny: I tell my guys to keep their off-duty pieces at home when they go to the bar.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: But you were armed.
Danny: Yeah, I wasn't drinking. And thank God I had my gun. Otherwise, we might be investigating a cop murder.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: (About Danny) What do you think about him?
Lauren Cooper: As a boss? He's excellent.
Danny: Officer Cooper, she's smart, she's got instincts. I think she'll be a good cop.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: Well, she speaks highly of you, as well. Says you're a great boss.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: Let's review your choices last night. You went out drinking with your patrolmen, you brought a loaded weapon into a crowded bar, got into an altercation with a patron. Ended up the night half-unconscious on the pavement as one of your officers shot the patron to death with your own weapon. You seem capable, Sergeant Messer. Things you did in that lab... way over my head. But as a boss, you're way over yours.
Mac: So, there were two guns. Pete Miller used one of them. Friends must have taken it when they fled.
Hawkes: Flack's trying to track 'em down, but all he has is the cops' descriptions to go by. No luck so far.
Mac: There's one thing I bet the friends didn't take when they ran.
Hawkes: Hmm?
Mac: The bullet Pete fired.
Adam: You ever dance with the green fairy?
Lindsay: I can't help you, Adam.
Adam: I'm talking about absinthe. It's the 19th century version of magic mushrooms.

(Adam asks Lindsay for advice on some unknown trace)

Lindsay: Adam, what do you get when you have a sergeant involved in a shooting, his wife who works in the crime lab and an IAB investigation? Conflict of interest.
Adam: Oh, oh. I'm... Oh, I'm sorry. I... Is he okay?
Lindsay: Oh, yeah, he's fine. He's got a couple stitches in his head. He's gonna give a statement to Internal Affairs.
Adam: All right, well, you tell him that we're all thinking about him.
Lindsay: I will. Thanks, Adam. Tell EDNA I said hello.
Mac: Shoot to stop.
Sid: Hmm?
Mac: What you're taught at the academy. Fire in bursts of twos and threes.
Sid: Yet here we have a single gunshot wound to the chest, almost perfectly placed. Bullet lodged in the heart.
Mac: Could mean Officer Cooper kept cool. Took an opportunity. Lucky shot in an unlucky situation.
Sid: Of course, he may not have had a gun at all, Mac. In which case, she fired by mistake and killed an unarmed man.
Lindsay: Let me take you to the hospital.
Danny: I'm fine, babe. I got to stay here for them.
Lindsay: There's nothing you can do for them now, honey, except maybe bleed all over them.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: She's right, Sergeant Messer. Can't mess around with a head injury. I'm Lieutenant Adler, Internal Affairs. How you doing?
Danny: It's not… it's not a head injury.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: Great. Then you won't mind answering a few questions.
Lindsay: Actually, he does mind. We're on our way to the E.R.
IAB Lt. Mitchell Adler: You're not going to make me pull rank here, are you? You know you got to talk to me.
Lindsay: Look, Lieutenant. According to regulations, he has 24 hours before he can be compelled to make a statement. So he can talk to you then.
Mac: Run me through it, Danny.
Danny: All right, so, uh, we... came here for a drink after shift, just to blow off some steam. The guy in the white shirt, he's a sloppy drunk.
Mac: This was the victim?
Danny: Yeah. He got aggressive with Cooper. She said, you know, she told him to back off. He was reluctant to leave. So I showed him the door.
Mac: You identify yourself as a policeman?
Danny: No, Mac, I mean, the guy was wasted... I show him my shield, it makes things worse. The guy was a jerk. And I didn't give it a second thought... till a few hours later. Next thing I know, I'm looking up into the sky, my off-duty piece is in Cooper's hand and this guy is dead.
Mac: Why did Officer Cooper have your weapon?
Danny: I was the only one carrying.
Mac: It was three men that jumped you?
Danny: That's right, three of them. Foley and Cates, they start fighting with them. Vic pulls out a nickel-plated revolver.
Mac: Well, you didn't see that, Danny... you were unconscious.
Danny: That's what my people are saying.
Danny: I see what this is. It's an officer-involved shooting, talking three-ring circus... those cops are the main attraction, right?
Mac: Not just them. You're their supervisor. You were in the bar. Somebody got shot. The gun is missing. Bosses will want someone to answer. You're the one with the stripes, Danny. Get ready.
Hawkes: GSR field test came back positive.
Adam: Means the victim had a gun.
Hawkes: Maybe. Officer Cooper told Danny that she checked the victim's vitals after shooting him.
Adam: Maybe the GSR transferred from her hands to his.

Hawkes:': There's no other evidence here that backs up those cops' story.

Jo: They all had their stories straight. Just like they rehearsed it.
Flack: Makes sense. They'll be under so much scrutiny, one little detail's off and they're all screwed.
Mac: So we got no witnesses, no gun. There's four off-duty cops and a dead civilian.

Air Apparent [8.05][edit]

Flack: [after getting Sam a job in the NYPD]: That's what siblings do, they look out. Good times and bad.
Flack: Sometimes nepotism is a good thing.

Get Me Out of Here! [8.06][edit]

Flack: We're canvassing the area.
Jo: Expecting the dead to speak?
Flack: For the murder weapon.

Crushed [8.07][edit]

Jo Danville: Flack, what are we looking at?
Don Flack: A parent's worst nightmare. Victim throws a party while mom and dad are out of town. Someone spills their drink on the new carpet.
Jo Danville: Flack, how does this happen?
Don Flack: Starts out as a group of high school juniors getting a buzz on. The party goes viral. Jumps to 700 in under two hours. Welcome to the end of the world as we know it.
Jo Danville: 50 kids jumping up and down. Whoever the morons were decided to add a table should have known that was a bad idea.

Crossroads [8.08][edit]

Flack: Criminal court judge assassinated in front of a sequestered jury, right under the nose of a half a dozen cops.
Mac Taylor: Brazen son of a bitch.
Mac: Triple murder in front of this bakery a year ago.
Danny: Markov... he's like the Sammy the Bull of Russian organized crime. That's why we got a dozen bodies on him.
Mac: Looks like it just went to a baker's dozen.
Danny: (Processing a bicycle) Hey, so what do you think of this fancy getaway vehicle?
Lindsay: Doesn't exactly seem like the expected mode of travel for a Russian hit man.
Reporter: Any comment on your number two, Jo Danville, dropping the ball on the original D.C. rape case?
Mac: The FBI lab tech who mishandled the evidence blew the case. As for Jo Danville, I'll take her courage and integrity over official misconduct every time.
Reporter: Has she been excluded from the New York case because of political pressure from Senator Matthews?
Mac: The decisions I make have nothing to do with political pressure from anyone. I do what's best for the case. And what's best in this case is Jo Danville sits this one out.
John Curtis: Did you come here to gloat?
Jo: I wish I could gloat. I wish I could take great pleasure in seeing you sit here in this cell. But that would be at the expense of Ali Rand and the horrible way you made her suffer. My pleasure will have to wait until I hear the guilty verdict read at your trial.
John Curtis: I wouldn't be so quick to convict me... just yet.
Jo: You were a free man. Makes me sick to my stomach to think that my integrity and my conviction gave you that second chance. I came here to make you a promise. You will not walk away this time.
John Curtis: I think you're gonna be disappointed, sweetheart.
Jo: The people I work with are very good at what they do. There'll be no mistakes this time.
John Curtis: I'll make a promise to you. You put that bitch on the stand, your case will fall apart faster than your career did in the FBI.
Hawkes: Nothing's ever easy.
Sid: I've seen you put a slug together with less.
Hawkes: Attempted poisoning with antifreeze is simple and is easily mixed in with a sweet drink, but it doesn't exactly scream Russian assassin.
Hawkes: I never heard of a Russian hit man doing a drive-by on a bicycle. I'm betting the poisoning and the shooting are related.
Senator Matthews: The assassination of a judge is no small thing. You've got a lot on your plate. Hope it's not too much.
Mac: Always have a lot on my plate. That's the nature of the business.
Senator Matthews: (About John Curtis) I've seen this animal walk away from what he's done once before. I will not tolerate any dragging of the feet on this.
Mac: No one in this lab knows how to drag their feet.
Senator Matthews: (About Jo) I don't want her anywhere near this thing.
Mac: I already made that call. But I want you to know it has nothing to do with Jo Danville's abilities. If my daughter were attacked, I'd want her investigating the case.
Flack: Hard to buy a professional thief moonlighting as a hit man.
Hawkes: Somebody left a doggie bag in the trash bin outside.
Flack: Whoa, whoa, whoa! If that's what I think that is, don't open that in here.
Hawkes: It's not that kind of doggie bag, Flack.
Lindsay: These aren't like cop cars anymore, they're like spaceships.
Serena Matthews: You know, for a while, I was angry at what you did. It took me some time to get past that and realize how difficult it must have been for you, as a woman, and as a mom, to watch that monster walk away from what he did to me.
Jo: Not about me, Serena. It is about you. It's not fair that your life was turned upside down because of it.
Serena Matthews: My father is an emotional guy. He had no right to force you out of the FBI.
Jo: You know, I'm not so sure I wouldn't have done exactly what your dad did on behalf of one of my own children. I don't regret my actions. I do regret that my actions set John Curtis free and what that did to you and your dad but... I don't, I don't sleep nights any more since he was let go.
Serena Matthews: (About her rapist) I know that it's stupid and irrational but I just have this fear that he's going to come after me again.
Serena Matthews: (About her rapist) I came because I need to see it. I need to be in that courtroom and see him in handcuffs being taken off to jail.
Mac: Your little visit to Mr. Curtis wasn't a very good idea. I hope you got whatever it was you had to say off your chest.
Jo: I did. Thanks for not making a big deal about it.
Pavel Danshov: (As he is about to be arrested by his car) What's going on? You boys want to go for a ride with me?
Danny: How you doing, Pavel?
Pavel Danshov: (As he is being pinned against his car and handcuffed) Not so good. Looks like I got another parking ticket.
Flack: I think that's gonna be the least of your problems.
Danny: Jo, I don't care what everybody says around here, you're good.
(After Danshov's car was hit by a biker on the run)
Flack: Did you get a good look at his face?
Pavel Danshov: I got a good look at my fender.
Flack: And you had nothing to do with those shots that were fired?
Pavel Danshov: A dead judge is bad for business. A crooked judge is much better.
Flack: So you were just out there following the judge, trying to dig up dirt on him so your boss could blackmail him?
Pavel Danshov: Blackmail him? Nyet. I prefer 'negotiate' with him.
Nicholas Albertson: Look, whatever you think I did, you got the wrong guy.
Flack: Wrong guys don't run.
Flack: Why did you want the judge dead?
Nicholas Albertson: Okay. I give up. It was that cheap cologne. That's what did it... I mean, I couldn't take it anymore. Every time, busing that guy's table with that same horrible stench.
Flack: You think this is a joke?
Nicholas Albertson: I think this whole thing is a joke.
Flack: So... you were out there last night. But you didn't do nothing. You didn't shoot nobody, you didn't see or hear anybody shoot anybody. That's your story? That's what you're going with, Nick?
Nicholas Albertson: That's what I'm going with.
Mac: Most of these camps are privately owned, for profit operations. The state pays a fee for every kid sent there.
Jo: Yes, a very generous fee. So for the two years after Nelson buys it, Judge Corsica sends twice as many kids to Forest Brook than any other Juvenile Court judge.
Mac: More kids, more money.
Danny: What do we got?
Jo: Bullet hole... bullet impact mark... burglary starter kit... gun...
Danny: Boom!
Jo: Boom!
James Nelson: You know who that little piece of garbage is, now. Come on, think.
Judge Corsica: How the hell would I know the busboy?
James Nelson: He helped you pay for that boat you have sitting at the marina.
Judge Corsica: Well, that narrows it down to a couple of thousand kids.
Judge Corsica: It cost us 1,500 bucks to get that ambulance chaser to go away.
James Nelson: That was money well spent. Made us much more careful who we do our business with.
Tommy Hill: You know what happens to good kids in a place like Forest Brook? They turn bad real fast, or they get eaten alive.
Tommy Hill: But that man stole my life away from me. I think it's only fair that I took his!
Jo: You don't get to make that choice. There's a system of justice.
Flack: (About Ali Rand) Think she's lying about the drugs?
Lindsay: It's not what I think, it's what the science says.
Flack: What are you going to do about the hearing tomorrow?
Lindsay: I'm gonna tell the truth. Based on what she just told us, the levels of GHB in her blood... they're not improbable. They're impossible.
(At John Curtis' trial)
Judge Winford: The defense request for a dismissal of all charges is denied. Unfortunately, some of the testimony we've heard here this morning is cause for concern, and raises grave questions as to the credibility of the victim.

Means to an End [8.09][edit]

Serena Matthews: That girl Lindsay who works with you... I thought she was on our side.
Jo: She had to tell the truth.
Serena Matthews: The truth is that Curtis raped that girl and they just let him go. Again.
Senator Matthews: I have seen John Curtis walk out of a courtroom, a free man, twice. Both times you were there.
Jo: I'm not involved in this case, Senator, as you know.
Senator Matthews: And yet, somehow it fell apart.
Serena Matthews: Dad, let's just go.
Senator Matthews: My daughter already paid her price. Nothing can change that. This is about all the other daughters that had to suffer since you let Curtis go the first time.
Senator Matthews: My daughter, erm... was attacked tonight. She came home beaten, half drugged.
Frank Waters: You take her to the hospital?
Senator Matthews: Of course not. There can't be any press, no news conferences. My daughter has got to be protected.
Mac: You know you can't be doing that. You shouldn't even be within ten feet of that evidence.
Jo: John Curtis is posting bail as we speak. I can't sit back and watch this case fall apart.
Mac: The case isn't yours, Jo. It's Lindsay's. She'll be the one to go back over the evidence and you should get some distance.
Jo: You know John Curtis is not just another bad guy to me. I can't pretend this is business as usual.
Mac: Yeah, I get that, it's personal. All the more reason why you should step away.
Mac: (To Jo) Whatever you find, find it fast. The only thing keeping this case alive is Ali's statement.
Ali Rand: You said I was gonna be safe. But that maniac is back out there. Who do you think he's pissed at right now, the crime lab?
Flack: Look, Ali, you just need to take a breath here.
Ali Rand: They're calling me a liar in the newspaper, a whore.
Flack: I told you not to read the papers.
Ali Rand: I'm not doing this anymore... I'm dropping the charges.
Flack: Let's be clear about something. There is no dropping these charges, okay? You can't unring this bell.
Ali Rand: You cannot force me to testify.
Flack: No. But the D.A. can, and he will. You're in this, Ali.
Serena Matthews: I'm sorry. It's just I'm so embarrassed.
Jo: There's no reason to be.
Serena Matthews: If I hadn't been drinking when this whole...
Jo: Serena, listen to me. This is not your fault.
Mac: Ali didn't just lie about the GHB, she lied about when she was beaten, too.
Lindsay: Mac, she's lying about everything.
Jo: I'm truly sorry for what happened to you, Frank.
Frank Waters: By what happened to me you mean when you fired me from the FBI?
Jo: Okay, is that why you asked me to breakfast? Because if you think I regret the decision I made, you're mistaken.
Jo: I'm not gonna sit here and let you blame me for what you did.
Frank Waters: I don't, Jo. Look, it took me a long time to figure it out but I messed up and I own it.
Jo: If that's really the way you feel, I'm glad for you.
Frank Waters: Yeah, but what I do blame you for is not letting it go.
Frank Waters: Why didn't you just ignore my mistake?
Jo: I had a responsibility, Frank. To Serena, to the other victims.
Frank Waters: If you'd just put your personal ethics to the side one time, none of this would be happening now.
Lindsay: Who called it in?
Adam: Couple from Iowa, in town to see Spider-Man on Broadway, after a walk in the park. Odds were pretty good they were going to see a dead body either way.
Lindsay: (About Ali Rand) She was putting on a pretty good show herself.
Adam: (Arriving at a crime scene in Central Park) Wow. This looks like a postcard... I mean, except for the dead body, of course.
Adam: It's probably not premeditated, right? I mean, it'd be strange if someone planned to kill her with a rock.
Flack: You never know. Perp might have been following her. Could have snuck up behind her and, bang, lights out.
Lindsay: The result of a heated argument.
Adam: Unsatisfied customer (Lindsay gives him a look) What? She's a call girl.
Lindsay: Don't make me sorry I brought you out here.
Flack: (About Ali Rand) If she really did fabricate the rape story, there's definitely one guy who would want to confront her.
Lindsay: And John Curtis just got released on bail.
Jo: (About John Curtis) Why would he agree to come in and then not be willing to talk?
Mac: He's willing to talk, just not to me. He specifically requested you.
Jo: The camera is here to record the...
John Curtis: To make sure I don't falsely claim something happened? I mean, I can understand that. I might leave here and go beat the hell out of myself and then come back and claim police brutality.
Jo: Where were you last night?
John Curtis: Where were you last night?
Jo: I don't find this amusing.
John Curtis: It's not meant to be. And I'll tell you why I ask: because I'd like to know what your alibi is for Ali's time of death. The way I see it, you have more motive to kill Ali than I do.
John Curtis: (To Jo) You were so close, you could taste it. You had a victim who suffered increased violence, who had GHB in her system and just enough memory to remember my name. You were so close to being able to lay your head down on your pillow and forget me forever but your star witness turned out to be a fraud.
Lindsay: Hey, Sid, have you ever seen someone punch herself in the face?
Sid: Uh, no. Are you going to punch yourself in the face?
Sid: I've pretty much seen it all, but no, I have not come across anyone who has successfully punched herself to death.
Danny: Our buddy Frankie... he never met a piece of paper he didn't like.
Hawkes: I guess they didn't teach organization at Quantico, huh?
Mac: This isn't just sloppiness. It's obsession.
Frank Waters: I made a mistake.
Jo: It's not just a mistake, Frank. You know I have to alert the defense.
Frank Waters: Oh, you do that, this whole case could blow up.
Jo: You've given me no choice.
Jo: (About Frank Waters) How is it possible to misjudge a person so? I trusted this man.
Sid: And now he's suspected of murder.
Ali Rand: What are you, a cop or something?
Frank Waters: Yeah, I used to be, sort of. I worked on the John Curtis case in DC.
Ali Rand: You did a hell of a job.
Frank Waters: Yeah, well, so did you. I was in court today. If you're gonna dose yourself with GHB, you better figure out the right levels.
Lindsay: It's pink ivory. It's one of the three rarest varieties on the planet. It's grown almost entirely in Southern Africa and it's the sovereign tree of the Zulu Nation.
Mac: Should I put a BOLO out on the Zulu royal family?
Lindsay: The traditional weapon from Southern Africa is called a knob kerrie. It's a cross between a club and a walking stick.
Mac: Similar to the Shillelagh in Ireland, considered a gentleman's weapon.
Mac: How much did you pay her?
Senator Matthews: I'm a United States Senator!
Mac: How much did you pay her to frame John Curtis for rape?
Senator Matthews: Yes, add that to my... my list of felonies. I'm going to ask you to leave now.
Mac: And I'll come back with a warrant.
Senator Matthews: What would you do, Detective? If your daughter was violated the way mine was. He was gonna rape again, unless someone took the initiative.
Mac: And so you hired Ali to trap him.
Senator Matthews: Oh, God, I should've just gunned him down myself.
John Curtis: Beg me not to kill you. Come on, I want to hear you say it.
Jo: Never! (Spits)
John Curtis: Attagirl. You never did know when to give up, did you?
John Curtis: (To Jo) You know how some experts say that sick people... people like me, you know, that ultimately, we want to be caught? That the mistakes we make are intentional. Or that we stray from some particular course of action because we like the risk? Those experts are morons. I have no intention of being caught.
(John Curtis has taken the magazine out of Jo's gun, removed the bullets, and then given it back to her)
Jo: You know how most gun accidents happen and people end up shooting themselves?
John Curtis: Bang. You got me. You finally got me.
Jo: They always forget the one in the chamber (She shoots him dead)

Clean Sweep [8.10][edit]

Flack: (At the crime scene of a burnt body) Hope you skipped breakfast.
Mac: That bad?
Flack: Worse. Our vic is Ryan Richards, 25 years old.
Mac: How do we know?
Flack: That's his melted driver's license right there.
Hawkes: What kept it burning for so long?
Sid: I'd offer the wick effect.
Hawkes: Right. Where clothing acts like the wick of a candle turned inside-out.
Sid: Feeding the flames a continuous supply of fuel in the form of melting human fat. It's particularly effective.
Hawkes: And particularly disgusting.
(About cage fighting)
Mac: I've seen a few matches. That's a brutal sport.
Flack: It's an excuse for two grown men to legally beat the bloody pulp out of each other.
Mac: So you're not a fan?
Flack: I didn't say that.
Flack: Kid definitely knew how to defend himself. Whoever did this risked a serious ass-whupping if things went south.
Flack: I'll start whacking the bushes, see if anyone was itching for a death match with our fighter outside of the cage.
Jennifer Walsh: Large French roast, black, paired with a blueberry scone. That is how you like your coffee, right?
Mac: I gave up coffee a year ago and I'm severely allergic to blueberries.
Jennifer Walsh: Of course you are. Seems your buddy Flack is quite the practical joker.
Jennifer Walsh: My name's Jennifer Walsh. I'm a freelancer with the Journal. I'm writing next month's cover story.
Mac: Uh, interview requests are made through the Public lnformation Office.
Jennifer Walsh: Truth is, I'm not a big fan of the rules. They seem to get in the way of what I want.
Mac: Did Flack tell you to tell me that, too? 'Cause I am a big fan of the rules.
Jennifer Walsh: All I'm asking is for five minutes of your time. You owe me that at least, considering I did try to poison you with blueberries.
Mac: Fair enough. What's your article about?
Jennifer Walsh: The NYPD's inability to police themselves. Specifically in matters of officer misconduct.
Mac: Ms. Walsh... (Chuckles) I have no official comment about that.
Jennifer Walsh: Some people say that your rigid adherence to department policy is more pliable than you let on. That you've been known to look the other way and be creative with those policies on more than one occasion.
Mac: They're entitled to their opinion.
Jennifer Walsh: And so are you. I came to hear your side of the story.
Mac: There is no story. I do my job to the best of my ability and I expect the same from all the officers under my command.
Mac: Ryan Richards was struck in the head, shot in the back, then lit on fire
Sid: That's what I call overkill.
Lisa Richards: I don't watch Ryan fight anymore. Seeing him get hit is worse than someone hitting me. Hard to watch someone you love in pain.
Lisa Richards: Every now and then, a fan would stop him on the street, challenge him to a fight.
Jo: How would Ryan handle that?
Lisa Richards: He'd give them an autograph instead.
Jo: Were there ever any physical attacks?
Danny: No. Everything but. I mean, he made death threats. He also broke into their house and left a cake frosted with dog feces on the kitchen counter.
Jo: Delightful.
Derek Petrov: Yeah, the VIP pass was mine. But I was too busy last night in the cage to be using it.
Mac: Then who'd you give that pass to?
Derek Petrov: I don't remember. All right. Fine. I sold it to some guy in the parking lot.
Jo: What did he look like?
Derek Petrov: Looked like he was eager enough to give me 300 bucks for it.
Marty Bosch: I think I killed somebody last night.
Flack: You're telling me you woke up doused in gasoline, covered in blood and you don't know how it happened?
Marty Bosch: I was drunk.
Flack: Yeah, Marty, I've had my fair share of rough nights, yet I think I'd remember taking a bath in somebody else's blood.
Marty Bosch: Yesterday was my 21st birthday. Some friends, they... they took me to Dutton's Tavern to celebrate.
Flack: Let me guess... part of this celebration included you doing 21 shots?
Marty Bosch: I did the first ten without a problem. After that, things get a little sketchy.
Flack: You recognize that guy?
Marty Bosch: Yeah, it's, uh... Ryan Richards. I've seen him fight. Why?
Flack: There were three murders in the city last night. Two of them have been solved.
Marty Bosch: And the third?
Flack: Ryan Richards.
Mac: How did you get up here?
Jennifer Walsh: I took your advice and called the Public lnformation Office. They were surprisingly accommodating when I dropped your name.
Mac: The flowers are beautiful but I can't accept them.
Jennifer Walsh: Well, I'm sure whoever sent them will be devastated.
Mac: You didn't send these?
Jennifer Walsh: (Chuckles) Flowers aren't my style. If I was gonna bribe you, I'd offer a tub of popcorn and court side Knicks tickets.
Jennifer Walsh: In case you're wondering, I am free for dinner later tonight.
Mac: I wasn't.
Lindsay: (About Jennifer Walsh) Who was that?
Mac: Nobody.
Lindsay: 'Nobody' is pretty cute.
Lindsay: Mac, are those flowers on your desk also from 'nobody'?
Mac: (Chuckles) Lindsay, go.
Jo: Mac, how do you eat your peanuts?
Mac: Peanuts? Uh... like everybody else, I suppose.
Jo: Well, down south, we like to eat ours boiled, 'cause it makes the shell soft, and we can open them with our teeth.
(About a perp who starts off as soon as he notices them)
Flack: Why do they always run?
Danny: I don't know. Must be brain damage.
Mac: Threats... intimidation, harassment... you're nothing but a coward.
Aaron Collins: You don't know anything about me.
Mac: I know you terrorized Ryan Richards and his wife for years. I also know you weren't man enough to take credit for it.
Mac: (Reading a caption) 'Savor the victory now 'cause you'll be dead by morning.' That's more than a picture, that's a death threat.
Aaron Collins: I just wanted him to lie awake at night, dreading the sunrise, the same way I have, every day, since I was 17 years old.
Mac: Where'd you go after the fight?
Aaron Collins: To the halfway house, to make curfew. You don't believe me? You can ask the gestapo pigs who run the place.
Jo: What's our motive here, Mac, if it wasn't for insurance money? And if he's really such a great guy, why would he walk away from all that fame and adoration?
Mac: When we find him, remind me to ask.
Jo: You know, the horrors that these young people endure while fighting for their country. Is it any wonder they're unable to cope with daily life?
Mac: We have an epidemic of homeless veterans on our nation's streets. Over 100,000 brave men and women just lost in the shuffle.
Jo: It's shameful.
Adam: Mac. Look, I know I've called you a genius before, but this time, I really mean it.
Mac: (Checking out a postcard) It's blank.
Adam: Well, that's why I swabbed the stamp adhesive for DNA.
Ryan Richards: Charlie died in my passenger seat. I pulled over. Sat there... for what seemed like hours. Deciding if I was capable of going through with the unthinkable.
Mac: Burning his body to make it look like your own.
Ryan Richards: I know what I did to his body is wrong, and I should be punished for that, but... I didn't kill Charlie.
Mac: Well, unfortunately, the science can't confirm that. The damage to the body was so severe that determining a definitive time and cause of death is impossible.
Ryan Richards: What... what does that mean?
Mac: Well, the D.A. will consider what we can prove, and then decide whether or not to charge you with murder.
Ryan Richards: Charlie was dead when I lit that fire. You have to believe me.
Mac: For what it's worth... I do believe you. But it's not up to me.
Mac: Full military honours for Private Hunt's funeral. He and his family will get the dignified closure they deserve.
Jo: While I don't condone Ryan Richards' choices, I do understand why he made them. Love just makes you do crazy things.
Mac: Well, sometimes I think that's just an excuse for bad behavior.
Jo: Oh, I don't know, Mac. When it comes to matters of the heart, I've had my share of temporary insanity.
Mac: Maybe I have, too.
Jo: (Referring to Jennifer Walsh) I hear you have a new friend.
Mac: Lindsay has an overactive imagination.
Jo: (Referring to the Jennifer Walsh) Flack said she was looking at you like she wanted something else.
Mac: Flack is dead. He's dead.
Jo: Get over it, Mac Taylor. Look at me. You're a charming, sexy single man. There's no hiding from the ladies.
Mac: I'm not hiding.
Jo: I think the word sexy makes you nervous. Speaking of crazy love, I got to go meet my kids for pizza.

Who's There? [8.11][edit]

(At the crime scene of Ron Ferguson)
Flack: Apparently, he and his partner, a guy named Phillip Roth, made a killing during the housing bubble.
Jo: Looks like the killing didn't stop there.
Mac: Wealthy neighborhood. Rows and rows of million-dollar homes. Why'd the attackers choose this one?
(About the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show')
Mac: They're still showing that thing?
Jo: Apparently so.
Mac: I never saw that.
Jo: You didn't? Aw, Mac, you should. I think you'd love it. It ranks right up there with that eight-hour Reagan documentary you're always watching.
Lindsay: You mean to tell me that while I've been trying to get a lead out of an empty cardboard box, you've been here doing magic tricks?
Danny: Uh, it creates a diversion, helps me think.
(After Danny performs a cards trick)
Lindsay: That's very impressive.
Danny: Thank you.
Lindsay: I think you should stick to your day job, though.
Danny: (To Lindsay, throwing a queen of spades card in her direction) My queen!
Flack: (To Lindsay) I believe... your exact words were: 'one more stop, then we get a bite to eat.'
Lindsay: Yes, and this office is the last stop.
Flack: No! no, no, no! You said it on the walk up to the last place. That's one more. This is two.
Lindsay: You are like Danny. You do not listen to what I actually say.
Flack: Oh, I listen. I think the problem is you're not saying what you think you're saying. He says that too, doesn't he?
Lindsay: Yeah. Word for word.
Flack: (Cuckles) Men and women.
Flack: You're going away for murder, Mark. The only question is how long. We're offering you a chance to do the right thing. Chance for a lighter sentence.
Eva Hutton: I'm sorry, who?
Jo: Ron Ferguson. The same Ron Ferguson you were having an affair with.
Eva Hutton: What? Can we take a step back here? Because I don't know any Ron Ferguson.
(Creating an internet profile page for Mac)
Jo: 'Dirty Harry'. Add that to his list of favorites.
Lindsay: (Chuckles) Really? 'Dirty Harry'? I'm not sure Mac would approve of his policing techniques.
Mac: (Looking at an internet profile that Jo and Lindsay have created for him) What is this?
Lindsay: It's your profile page, Mac. It's all part of the investigation.
Mac: (Confused) Okay.
(After creating an internet profile page for Mac)
Lindsay: There we go, hours of social networking at your fingertips!
Mac: Great. I don't want a profile page.
Jo: Oh, it doesn't matter, that's the point. Someone else can build it for you.
Mac: What kind of person makes a fake profile to have an online love affair with their own husband?
Lindsay: She must've been trying to catch Ron cheating.
Jo: More like entrapment.
Mac: We knew their marriage was in trouble. This takes it to a new level.
Elizabeth Ferguson: Do you have any idea what 20 years of marriage can do to a person?
Mac: Then get a divorce.
Elizabeth Ferguson: Our marriage was a war, our divorce a cold war.

Brooklyn 'Til I Die [8.12][edit]

Danny and Hawkes: Boom!
(Lindsay laughs)
Flack: (Walking through a filthy alley) Friend of mine jogs in her bare feet. She keeps asking me to join her. I don't think so.
Flack: I know times are tough, but it doesn't make sense for anyone in the game to rob our vics for fake cash.
Lindsay: Can you imagine what Mr. Seville must be going through? I don't know what I would do if anyone ever took Lucy. I would give my right arm to have her back.
Jo: As endearing as that sounds, please, let's just have one severed appendage at a time.
Hawkes: These what I think they are?
Danny: Yeah, serial killer trading cards. Who needs Mickey Mantle when you have Ted Bundy, right?
Kelly Rose: I opened this store for fans of the macabre.
Danny: Right. Selling locks of Charlie Manson's hair.
Hawkes: Your Web site says that you offer soil samples from Lambert Jones' backyard, where he supposedly buried his victims.
Kelly Rose: As a matter of fact, we do, and for an extra five bucks, I will gift wrap the Lambert dirt for you.
Hawkes: Lambert dirt.
Kelly Rose: Need I remind you, it is not illegal to sell dirt.
Danny: No, it's just immoral and kind of despicable, not for nothing.
Flack: Jacob Paul Williams. Priors for a little bit of everything. Armed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon... do you realize how screwed you are?
Flack: Honestly, pal, I don't even need a confession. I'm just doing this for my own amusement.
Flack: I gotta know, you're a career criminal, you know how this works so what on Earth possessed you to bring your kidnapping victim back to your mother's house?
Jake Williams: You saw my mother, she's scarier than we are.
George Williams: When we saw she was dead, we needed a way out of town.
Mac: So, you decided to add kidnapping to your list of smart decisions.
Flack: You and your brother are about as smart as bait. Makes your ransom drop plan a little inconsistent.
Jake Williams: Why do you say that?
Flack: Because it wasn't a stupid plan. You almost had us. So where'd you get the idea? Did you see it on TV or in a movie?
Preston Seville Jr: Do you know why I played the GoGame? To get away from this name, this identity as a Seville. I lost my finger and Michelle lost her life because I wanted so desperately to get away from my father. What have I done?
Lindsay: (Returning his family ring to him) It's not about what you've done. It's about what you do going forward.
Christine Whitney: I never saw you as the social-networking type.
Mac: Actually, it wasn't my decision to set that up. That was some colleagues of mine having a little fun.
Christine Whitney: That explains the blankest profile page in the history of the Internet.
Mac: How do you know that I wasn't trying to be mysterious?
Christine Whitney: Because you're one of the most transparent people I know.
Christine Whitney: (About Claire's death) I'm sorry.
Mac: There's no need to be sorry. I'm thankful for the time that we had together.

The Ripple Effect [8.13][edit]

Jo: [while walking down the 187th Street steps] I knew I shouldn't have done the StairMaster this morning.
Mac: It's a long way down.
Flack: It's even longer coming up, trust me. 130 steps. Finally counted after the third trip.
Christine: (answering the phone) Hello, Mac Taylor.
Mac: Christine, did I get you at a bad time?
Christine: No, perfect, actually. How do I murder a produce guy and get away with it?
Mac: Well, you could always hit him over the head with a coconut, but you'd be better off using that for a piña colada.
Christine: Yeah. Point very well taken. Besides, overpriced coconuts probably warrant something closer to a misdemeanour rather than a full-blown felony, right?
Flack: (To Scott Perdito after falling down a fire escape when accused of pushing Greg Barbera down some stairs) Karma's a bitch.
Scott Perfito: I should be in a hospital resting.
Mac: They already gave you a clean bill of health and released you into our custody, Mr. Perfito.
Scott Perfito: Well, my arm still hurts and my head hurts, too.
Flack: How about your pride?
Danny: Climbed a lot of trees back in Montana, didn't you?
Lindsay: Damn straight, city boy.
Danny: Was that before or after you started cow tipping?
Lindsay: (Fakes a laughter) Wow!
Danny: What?
Lindsay: (Pretending) Is that a snake?
Danny: (Jumping out of his skin) Where? What?
Jo: Ok, I hope y'all are taking notes. First of all I could not stop thinking about these two pieces of violet flavored gum, because I couldn't wrap my head about how the wound up in Jimmy Fillbrook's mouth, and on Greg Barbera's satchel. So I went back to the schedule from the courier service that Greg worked for, and it turns out that his first pick up of the day was across from a little dinner in Chelsea, right around the corner from the Cragston Hotel.
Mac: Who did he pick up from?
Jo: Jimmy Fillbrook. And guess what the dinner has in a little dish next to the cash register.
Lindsay: Violet gum.
Jo: Bingo. But there was something else that kept bugging me. Because Greg Barbera was a bike messenger, right? So why did he run from Scott Perfitto? Where on earth was his bike? So I went back and looked at the NYPD footage one more time. Look what I spotted at about 100 yards ahead of both of them.
Danny: Guy on a bike.
Jo: Yes, but not just any bike. It matches the exact description supplied to us by the courier service that Greg worked for. And look whats hanging from the handle bars.
Flack: A chain saw. Could've been used to cut down the fallen tree outside of Scott Perfitto's apartment, right?
Mac: Greg probably locked up his bike.
Lindsay: Greg's bike was stolen so he had to run from Perfitto on foot.
Hawkes: Which caused him to fall down the steps.
Jo: and due to Greg's untimely death he wasn't able to deliver this.
Mac: Doug Kramer. That's the name of the building and safety official who was supposed to accept the bribe from Jimmy Fillbrook.
Jo: For fifteen grand.
Flack: But since he didn't get it, he ruled to condemn the Cragston Hotel at the B&S meeting.
Jo: Yes, which we all know drove our supper, Toby Delafont, to our murderous rage.
Danny: He attacked Fillbrook in the park, leaving him for dead.
Lindsay: Right. And then Fillbrook wondered further into the woods, right into the path of Nicholas Bristow's arrow.
Flack: That's the craziest thing I've ever heard but it actually makes sense.
Mac: One crime leads to another.
Hawkes: And another.
Danny: And another.
Lindsay: And another.
Jo: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is known as the Ripple Effect.

Flash Pop [8.14][edit]

Mac: This is our investigative team on the Jessica Drake murder. All the evidence will be processed by the people in this room and only by the people in this room. We start over on everything. Chain of custody of evidence stays within this group. If something needs to go to DNA, one of us drops it off, oversees the analysis, and then retrieves the results. If the killer had access to trace evidence we collected from the scene, it could already be compromised. So pay attention and triple-check all your results.
Danny: I'm coming to the rescue, 'cause it looks like you have wrinkles all over your forehead...
Lindsay: It's not a wrinkle. It's a frown.
Christine Whitney: Oh, um, that anniversary party for my parents tomorrow night, uh, you agreed to endure...don't worry about it.
Mac: Whoa, you're dumping me?
Christine Whitney: No. I just don't want you to feel obligated with all that's going on. I mean, my whole family would love to see you, but, well, you know how they can be.
Mac: I'm sure I can handle it. I'll be here.
Christine Whitney: Okay. I gave you an out. You've been warned.
Mac: You make it sound dangerous (Both smile).
Jo: Mac Taylor, I adore you. I value our friendship more than words can express. And you don't need to feel any obligation to... (sighs) ...share any mushiness. Your smile is adequate enough. I just... I just needed to get that out. We just work so hard, day in and day out, and we never really turn to those around us and tell them how we feel.
Mac (to Jo): Who do you see in this picture?
Jo: You, me, Sheldon, Danny, Lindsay.
Mac: How many lab techs?
Jo: Three. They were assigned to the scene.
Mac: The only people taking crime scene photos were Danny and Hawkes. We're all in the picture, including the techs... so who took that picture?
Jo: You're thinking the killer, and this photo was a message.
Mac: Someone who could get access to our cell phones and send us that photo, someone who wouldn't look out of place at the crime scene, who could gain entry to the evidence, someone who's playing "catch me if you can." Not only was our victim part of the crime lab, I'm thinking so was our killer.
Adam: Are the other lab techs still being questioned? It just seems, you know, we've decided guilt by job description, and Harlan seems like our primary suspect.
Mac: You think he did it, Adam?
Adam: Uh, no.
Mac: Do you know who did?
Adam: No.
Mac: We have a responsibility to Jessica Drake. Someone in this lab thinks they have the advantage. If it's Harlan, we'll prove it; if it's not... then we continue to do our job. There's an unspoken rule of trust within these walls. That gets broken... it's inexcusable.
Jo: This is personal for Mac, Adam. He's not gonna treat anyone with kid gloves.
Adam: Well, it's personal for me, too. More than anybody in this room, I spend the most time with the lab techs. I-I started where they did. They don't want to be treated with kid gloves. They just want to be treated with respect. Look, Jessica, um... she's not just another girl in a white lab coat. Okay? She was a friend.
Adam: We could build a profile, you know... a woman, size seven shoe, six one.
Danny: We're off to a really bad start there, buddy. Not one of our suspects fits that profile. None are that tall.
Jo and Lindsay: (Looking at each other) High heels.

Kill Screen [8.15][edit]

Adam: (playing an Xbox video game) Hey, Mac. Listen, why don't you pull up a chair and challenge the champ, okay? Now, look. I just want to warn you, this is not like the old-school games. Grab this. See these little buttons here? Press those. It's not like in the olden days, with the black and white screen and the little ball, or Ms. Pac-Man...
Mac: When I was a kid, my dad used to take me to the carnival in the summer. I loved to do the milk bottle toss. But I never won. When I was older, my dad explained to me that it was rigged. That one of the bottles was weighted so it couldn't fall over. I was so mad. Then my dad told me that life wasn't fair.
Flack: I'm disappointed, Vera. I really thought we had something.
Vera Channing: Oh, well, we'll always have Paris.
Mac: You know, when I was a kid, I used to bring a bag full of quarters to the arcade and set up in front of the Asteroids machine for a whole Saturday.
Jo: Really? I would have never clocked you as a nerd.
Flack: The handles Vera gave Walt correspond to the list of names we found on his body. Of those gamers, three were knocked out in the first round, one was disqualified, and two said Walt gave them the option of resigning to save face.
Mac: Sounds like six good motives.
Mitch Johnson: (About the world of video games competitions) There's always younger and younger kids coming up. Born holding iPads and hopped up on ADD meds.
Steve Blanton: I know that life isn't fair, I get that, I get... My wife left me, and I only see my kid once a week. But video games are supposed to be fair. The best player wins.
Mac: If you're searching for fairness, you're focused on the wrong things, Steve. You have a son. Who's going to grow up without his father. How is that fair?
Jo: Walter was playing video games at least 35 hours a week. That's practically a full-time job.
Mac: For some people it is. The highest paid professional gamers make over $500,000 a year in tournament winnings and endorsements.
Jo: (to Mac) You should wear something that says, well I don't know what it should say, but that ain't it.

Sláinte [8.16][edit]

Christine Whitney: Mac Taylor, you're an idiot.
Mac: Why is that, exactly?
Christine Whitney: 'Cause I'm a catch, and you're gonna lose me.
Mac: I should have called, I know. Besides work and the fact that I'm not very good at this...
Christine Whitney: Hey, it's not about the phone call. If you're not... ready for something or, um... work's too busy or your life's complicated or you're scared, I get it (Laughs) I mean, I'm scared, too. Look, um, when your brother dies in the line of duty, the last guy you want to date is a cop. But I'm here and... we kissed, and I guess I just want to know if it felt right to you, too.
Mac: It did.
Christine Whitney: (Laughs) Good.
Mac: So, how about I make it up to you. We'll go out to dinner tonight. I know this amazing restaurant with this incredible chef.
Christine Whitney: Well, why don't you just come by the... (Laughs) Oh! Cute. You mean me.
Lindsay: I've always been curious. Why do they call this area Hell's Kitchen?
Mac: Well, the story goes, a veteran cop was watching a riot with his rookie partner who said: 'this place is Hell itself'. To which the veteran replied: 'Hell is a mild climate compared to this. This place is Hell's kitchen'.
Adam: If this is Hell's Kitchen in 1970, as it moves into 1975, '80, '85 and so on, you'll see the change. Anything that turns blue has been bought up, remodeled, torn down or rebuilt. Corporate America moves in.
Mac: And the older generations, like Byrne, who were born and raised there, are driven out because they can't afford the soaring costs.
Mac: So given what we know, we're looking for someone who used a heavy-duty power saw to dismember a body, but before they did that, they used it for something involving plaster, money and blood.
Jo: Sounds ridiculous, but it is Hell's Kitchen.
Mac: Maybe a few decades ago, but not anymore. Those four corners have been all but forgotten, it's not even called Hell's Kitchen anymore.
Jo: Clinton does have a nicer ring to it.
Mac: So why is the violence suddenly back?
Jo: Maybe it never really left.
Flack: According to his financials, he's lived at 48th and 9th his whole life.
Danny: That's Hell's Kitchen, I mean, yuppie central now, but back then, it couldn't have been too easy.
Flack: Irish kid growing up there in the '60s and '70s? You're looking at a 90% chance of ending up a priest, a cop or a gangster. Take a guess what most ended up as?
Danny: Well, of course, priests.
Flack: Not quite. But they did take cash, confessions, and have their own form of catechism.
Flack: Lindsay Messer, meet John Doe.
Lindsay: You know, most people spend their Monday catching up on their co-workers' weekend over a nice cup of coffee.
Flack: We're not most people. And as for my weekend, you're not missing much.
Lindsay: (reads a text from Danny) What has two arms, no legs, no body and no head? (her phone receives another text) My crime scene.
Kieran Reilly: You can think whatever you want about me or where I come from, but I got a sense of loyalty. I was raised with the understanding that you don't go against someone unless they go against you or one of your own.
Flack: So you killed a man based on some twisted sense of loyalty you had toward Byrne and your neighborhood.
Kieran Reilly: My world has laws and a code, just like yours. Break it, and you're done.
Flack: Face it, Kieran, you got played. And now you're stuck here with us while Declan lives the life of Riley down at his bar. You said you'd never go against one of your own unless they went against you. Now's your chance.
Flack: You know, guys like you are a dime a dozen. You're always preaching the same things about loyalty and brotherhood, but you're all brought down by the fact that you drop it in a heartbeat when you stand to gain.
Mac: You brutally murder Michael Byrne, a good man who did everything in his power to hold on to what was good about the past. What a way to keep the neighbourhood alive.

Unwrapped [8.17][edit]

Mac: What do you got for me, Sid?
Sid: If I had a nickel for every time I heard that question.
Mac: We know the science doesn't lie and people do.
Flack: (banging on the door) Police! Open up!
Willis Frazier: You got a warrant?
Flack: We can get one.
Willis Frazier: Or you could ask nice.
Flack: May we come in?
Clyde Duvall: There's two kind of people in this building. People like them...
Danny: Yeah, scumbags.
Clyde Duvall: And people like me and Alicia. We work hard, we mind our business, and we try not to get caught in the crossfire.
Elaine Moore: Look, I know you must think I'm a horrible person for cheating on my husband. I loved Kelvin. Just not the way everyone wanted me to.
Lindsay: I don't think you're a horrible person. I just think it's sad that you didn't realize that the greatest gift you had walking into that building yesterday was standing right next to you.
Sid: I'm afraid I've spoiled everyone around here over the years. The age-old tradition of the investigator being present at autopsy is to answer questions that might assist the medical examiner, moi, in determining the cause and mode of death, not the other way around.
Mac: Well, that's what the book says, but I don't think they knew about Sid Hammerback when they wrote it. You always have more answers than questions, that's why you're the best.
Sid: Flattery will get you everywhere.
Alicia Woods: I just can't believe that he's dead. You know, he was such a special man. Everybody loved him.
Flack: Not everybody.
Hawkes: The note paper I found on the vestibule floor is very promising. It took me a while to figure it out, but it's a New York State inmate I.D. number.
Jo: So what's your theory? That the killer jotted down his inmate number and left it behind at the scene of the murder?
Hawkes: Wow, it is a tough crowd today.
Lindsay: So what are the chances that Parole's gonna issue a warrant?
Hawkes: Pretty promising (hands her the warrant) Here is your ticket to the dance. Flack is your date.
Christine Whitney (to Mac): Hey, I'm having a crisis of conviction in the middle of a toy store.
Mac: Okay.
Christine Whitney: My head says pick the developmentally-stimulating blocks made from organic recycled wood, but my heart says princess doll.
Mac: Well, I'm sure whatever you pick, Lucy's gonna love.
Christine Whitney: Oh, you have obviously never disappointed a 3-year-old.
Mac: I always say, go with your gut.
Christine Whitney: Oh... or we could go with ponies!
Mac: Should I send a squad car to rescue you?
Christine Whitney: Well, what is everybody else bringing?
Mac: Wait a minute. This isn't about Lucy, is it?
Christine Whitney: Of course not. This is about meeting your friends for the first time and that's a lot of pressure.
Mac: If they see in you even a fraction of what I see... you'll be a hit.
Christine Whitney: You're a sweet man, Mac Taylor. Go solve crime.
Mac: (after Christine pulls him into a corner and kisses him at the lab) What was that for?
Christine Whitney: 'Cause I felt like it. 'Cause you made me feel like it. And letting me into your world the way you have has just changed my life. I can't stop smiling. I can't stop thinking about you.
Mac: For a long time, this place and those guys have been my whole world. They've helped me through some tough times. Now I have you.

Near Death [8.18][edit]

[After Mac cuffs a running suspect after stepping out of his car. Flack runs to them, panting]

Flack: (exhales) Oh, son of a bitch. (to suspect) You run track or something? You on the Olympic team?

(Mac chuckles)

Flack: (out of breath) This is fun...this is funny to you? You realize you were in an automobile, right? You were not running 60 miles an hour.
Mac: Yeah, you want to ride back to the precinct or you walking?
Flack: (panting) Ride please.
Mac: Get in. Come on.
Flack: (sighs) They're so fast.
Mac: Come on, old man.
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