It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (season 10)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is an American television sitcom on FX. It moved to FXX beginning with the ninth season. The series follows the exploits of "The Gang", a group of self-centered friends who run the Irish bar Paddy's Pub in South Philadelphia.
The Gang Beats Boggs [10.1]
- North Dakota Woman: Oh, you really know your way around.
- Dennis: Well, if I've learned anything from films like Executive Decision or Passenger 57, there's always a way into the cargo hold.
- North Dakota Woman: You're weird.
- Dennis: You have no idea.
- [she leans in for a kiss]
- Dennis: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Nothing with my lips, all right? I don't want to do that with you.
- Dee: Attention, passengers. This is your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking. And this cold slice of heaven is my 40th beer of the afternoon. So any of you dicknips think you can slug it down faster than me, you're welcome to get your fat asses up here to try.
The Gang Group Dates [10.2]
- Frank: If things go wrong, I'll blow this whistle and call the date before they have a chance to get to know us. Mm. Let's just keep it simple. Let's just start with our names. [cuts to the three at their date] Hey, ladies. I'm Frak. SHIT. [whistle blows]
- Dee: I even have my own system. The DEE system. Do them. Establish low rating. Increase power.
- Dennis: "Increase" is spelled with an "I."
- Dee: Okay, well, then, uh... Infuriate them when they find out...
- Dennis: Another "I."
- Dee: Empower. It doesn't... the word doesn't matter. It's-it's the system... ah, I don't care about you.
Psycho Pete Returns [10.3]
Charlie Work [10.4]
- Charlie: Okay. Dee, get the joke stool in the basement, all right? Can't have it out.
- Dee: What? No way. It's hilarious.
- Charlie: It's not hilarious, it's just a stool with a nail sticking out of it.
- Dee: Yeah, and when it pokes their butts, they scream, 'cause they just got a nail right in the butt.
- Charlie: I... you don't understand comedy, at all. You don't understand comedy. That's not a joke, it's a lawsuit. Just put it in the basement.
- Charlie: What's wrong with the toilet?. Looks clogged. What the hell? I just had these all in, like, perfect working condition.
- Frank: Must be my shoes.
- Charlie: Your shoes? What are you talking about?
- Frank: Well, when I said I lost my shoes, I didn't mean I didn't know where they were. It's just that they were gone.
- Charlie: You flushed your shoes down the toilet? Why would you do that?
- Frank: It's an anxiety thing, Charlie. Everybody's moving so fast all of a sudden, it freaks me out. Flushing things gives me control. It's a thing.
- Dennis: Excuse me, with all due respect, Charlie, you don't even know what the goddamn plan is.
- Charlie: Okay, okay, with all due respect to you, I think I understand it fully, okay? You guys used Frank's credit card, you bought a bunch of airline miles. You used those airline miles to purchase 400 steaks. Knowing that this delivery company delivered all variety of animal products, your plan was to contaminate the steaks with chicken feathers, by rubbing live chickens all over them. Then you were gonna repackage the steaks, at which point, you were gonna return the contaminated steaks for actual cash, taking advantage of a loophole in the current airline miles system, correct?
- Dee: Very good, Charlie.
- Dennis: That is it, that is it. That was the plan, but I mean... you know, we basically had already explained it to you, so...
- Charlie: Right. But what you didn't plan for was a hungry delivery guy who'd driven here all the way from Ohio. Or that Dee's oversized fingers could've accidentally pressed "zero" again when she ordered the steaks online. I'm assuming you did the typing, Dee, yes?
- Dee: Goddamn it.
- Dennis: Dee, you bitch.
- Dee: Oh, no, he wants a turkey burger.
- Charlie: What? Why?
- Dee: I don't know. I offered it to him.
- Charlie: Why would you do that?
- Dee: You said pretend we're a restaurant--he looked like a turkey burger kind of guy.
- Charlie: He looks like a turkey burger kind of guy?! Oh, my God, Dee, just put it on the furnace, okay, cook it up. Tell him you got the order wrong, just tell him you got the thing wrong. Oh, my God, what a stupid bitch. What a stupid bitch she is.
The Gang Spies Like U.S. [10.5]
The Gang Misses the Boat [10.6]
Mac Kills His Dad [10.7]
- Mac: I'm gonna save my dad's life!
The Gang Goes on Family Fight [10.8]
- Charlie: Dennis, what is this enticing bowl of white?
- Dennis: Charlie, that... that's cottage cheese.
- Charlie: Cottage cheese? Like... cheese from some cottage? Whose cottage? Well, like, what is that, exactly?
- Dennis: How do you not know what it is? Aren't you, like, a cheese guy?
- Charlie: I'm not a cottage guy.
- Dennis: You are gonna make us lose this game.
- Frank: Yeah. Well, yeah, you know, uh, Grant? I want to... I want to change my answer.
- Grant Anderson: What? Wh... what? Why?
- Frank: I have realized it's-it's not totally accurate, because I've seen a pig eat a man. In fact, I've seen many pigs eat many men. It was a bloodbath.
- Grant Anderson: Just need you to name an animal that we eat but doesn't eat us.
- Charlie: Doesn't eat us-- that's easy. Dragon!
- Grant Anderson: Charlie, do you eat dragon?
- Charlie: No! I don't eat dragon 'cause, uh, it's-it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us; they, uh, it's like a misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure. That's why they're always sitting on a big pile of it.
- Dee, Mac, and Dennis: Bad answer. Bad answer. Bad answer. That's a bad answer.
- Grant Anderson: Okay, show me dragon!
[Dragon appears as the last answer]
- Charlie: [laughing] I told you!
- Grant Anderson: Well, astonishingly, uh, one person surveyed gave the answer dragon, so... What a world!
- Frank: I'm gonna go with... toe knife.
- Grant Anderson: With what now?
- Frank: With a toe knife 'cause I-I use a-a sharp blade to dig the scum out of my toenails. Once in a while, I cut myself, but it pusses up and in three days, it's good as new.
- Grant Anderson: Sure. Toe knife! Way more information than we needed, but, uh... show me toe knife.
[Buzzer goes off]