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Mad (TV series)

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Mad is an American animated sketch comedy series created by Kevin Shinick and produced by Warner Bros Animation. Based upon the magazine of the same name, each episode is a collection of animated parodies of television shows, movies, games, celebrities and other media using various types of animation. The series premiered on the evening of September 6, 2010 on Cartoon Network.

Season 1

[edit]

Avaturd / CSiCarly [1.1]

[edit]
Astronaut: [carefully leaving the rocket with his leaps] This is one small step for... [farts] Oh, man! Houston, we have a poo-poo.

TransBOREmores / Star Wars: The Groan Wars [1.2]

[edit]
[Sam and Optimus Prime return home and finds a group of people partying with other robots in there]
Sam Witwicky: How did they get in my house?
Optimus Prime: Maybe they found the key under the mat.
Sam Witwicky: There is no key under the mat.
Optimus Prime: Then it's probably that giant hole in your wall.
Batman: [pressing the snooze button on alarm clock] Five more minutes!

2012 Dalmatians / Grey's in Anime [1.3]

[edit]
Robot Dad: [shaking the present] Let me guess: more oil.
Haley Joel Osment: Actually, I was a child actor too.
Announcer: Sure you were. We all were.
Haley Joel Osment: I was! I was in The Sixth Sense and a bunch of other movies.
Announcer: Never heard of them.
Haley Joel Osment: What about A.I.?

Star Blecch / uGlee [1.4]

[edit]
Narrator: You love the characters from Toy Story 3 but here are some rejected ones. Speak "N" Swear...
Boy: How do you spell "house?
Speak "N" Swear: How the (bleep) should I know?!
Narrator: Mr. Couch Potato Head...
Mr. Couch Potato Head: (yawning) You guys rescue Buzz.
Narrator: Baby Never Stops Crying...
(Baby crying)
Woody: (to Slinky Dog) If we don't find Andy before tonight - ah, I'm sorry, (referring to the crying baby) this is just... does... does he really need to be here?
Narrator: Bizz the Friendly Fax...
Rex: What are we gonna do, Bizz?
Bizz the Friendly Fax: (buzzing)
Narrator: And Private Space!
Private Space: HAH! I need a personal perimeter of five feet by five feet!
Narrator: Toy Story 3, so many characters... but not these.

WALL·E·NATOR / Extreme Renovation: House Edition [1.5]

[edit]
[a boy and a girl walk up to Oscar the Grouch's trash can]
Girl: Hey Oscar! Can you help us find a triangle?
Oscar: Tell you what! Why don't you two try and go away so I can eat my lunch!
[The boy cries, WALL-E is scooping up Oscar's trash]
Oscar: Hey, R2-D2! Get your hands off my grub! I like it like that!
[WALL-E cubes Oscar into a square shape]
Girl: A square!
Oscar: Shut up kid!
[The boy cries again. WALL-E heads to the city and sees SpongeBob SquarePants looking round]
SpongeBob: I've eaten so many Krabby Patties, how will I ever regain my shape?
[WALL-E cubes SpongeBob back into a square]
SpongeBob: [sighs] That's better. [smiles]
Wolverine: Uh, I would actually like to get my jacket back. [Wall-E stuffs him in his body, turning it into a cube] Consider it a wedding gift!

Pirates of the Neverland: At Wit's End / Batman Family Feud [1.6]

[edit]
Pirate: Captain, considering the ship's currently, uh, floating in space, there's concern we may be lost.
Jack Sparrow: Lost? Of course not. Our bearings: Second star to the left, straight on 'til morning?
Pirate: Captain, we're approaching some sort of land beyond imagination!
(They arrive at Neverland.)
Captain Hook: Jack Sparrow? Is that really you? It's been forever!

Jack Sparrow: My old friend, "Captain 2-Hands".

Captain Hook: Wow. We do need to catch up!
Llama: ♪ I wanna throw up, those kids are real rats ♪
♪ That's why I send them to my Toys "4" Brats! ♪
Voiceover Guy: This week at Toys "4" Brats, check out Baby Cutz-A-Lot.
Llama: (v.o.) That's gotta hurt.
Voiceover Guy: LECTRO-Land playset.
Llama: (v.o.) Zowie!
Voiceover Guy: Meat Farm.
Llama: (v.o.) Eww!
Voiceover Guy: Skill Saw!
Llama: (v.o.) That's sharp!
Voiceover Guy: And Play-Don't: Radioactive Gloop.
Llama: ♪ So when you're swinging at kids, the way you're swinging at gnats ♪
♪ Just send them down to Toys "4" Brats ♪
Raised Voice Guy: The world's biggest rip-off!
Dino Tweety: [after Sabor-Toothed Sylvester tries to pounce on him] I tawt I saw a puddy tat!

Episode 7: Cliffordfield / Big Time Rushmore [1.7]

[edit]
Elmo: AAAHHH--
Freddie: Please! Nobody panic!
Elmo: Who's panicking? This is just how we run. [screams]
Big Bird: Don't let him get me! I'm a one of a kind children's character.
(Big Bird is smashed by Clifford the Big Red Dog)
Big Bird: (smashed into the shape of SpongeBob): OK. I see your point.
Oscar: Uh oh. I'm getting out of here. (gets out of the trash can, revealing that he has shapely legs and everyone gasps) What, it's from my mother's side!
Voiceover Guy: It's time for Sports O'Clock with your host, Skip Schwartz!
Skip Schwartz: Skip Schwartz, everybody! Let's go over all of today's scores! 14! 31! 56! 11! And, you won't believe this, 47! Unbe-Schwartz-able! Fans, this week's guest is basketball superstar LeBron James. LeBron, who is the toughest team you ever played against? Thank you, LeBron James! It's time now for Horn and Sirens! (horn and sirens) Let's take a look at the highlight of the night. That's gotta be a record! And speaking of explosions, let's take a look at the College Game Explosion of the Night! (explosion sound) That's gotta leave a mark! That pain in your head could only mean it's time to Circle the Wagons! Experts, tell the world who's going to win the Big Game. John?
John: Well...
Skip Schwartz: Steve?
Steve: I...
Skip Schwartz: Ron?
Ron: Odds are...
Skip Schwartz: Slick? You can't argue with Slick. Thanks for tuning in, sports fans! Until next time, I'm Skip Schwartz... (explodes himself)

Fantastic Megan Fox / MAD vs. Wild [1.8]

[edit]
Kristen Stewart: Uhh, looking too happy again. Better work on that frown some more. What? A fox!
Megan Fox: Ah, thanks. I think so too! [She put Kristen's hair]
Kristen Stewart: Ahh!
Megan Fox: [Whistles, clicks tongue]
Kristen Stewart: Now I really have a reason to frown. Nope still not enough.
Backpack: I’m the Backpack, the Backpack, the Backpack.
Dora: [very sick] I don't feel so well.
Backpack: Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing--! [Dora vomits inside] I’m the Backpack, the Backpack, the Backpack, yeah.
Man at the Diner: Excuse me, buddy; I think your "fly" is down.
Man at the Diner #2: Yeah, I know. I told you he couldn't go to Europe for the summer.
Fly: Why? [cries, barfs]
Voiceover Guy of the Umpire Diaries: This fall: When fear strikes, love turns foul. No, no, no. Wait, uh... when you see a bat, make a run for home. No, no, forget that. When you give this time, it's time to play. Wow! These are awful. Oh, wait; hang on, no. The Umpire Diaries: You're only in when you're out. Yes, right? No? Look, we'll get this if it takes all night. I don't care.
[last lines]
Voiceover Guy of the Umpire Diaries: They're at the top of their game at the bottom of the ninth. Wow, these are not getting any better. You gotta play the field 'til the 7th inning smooch. How long is this show?

I Love You, Iron Man / Ben 10 Franklin [1.9]

[edit]
Guy on the Chair: Yeah, about 1/2 inch off the bottom, keep the layers, trim the banks, no hair touching the ear, and; uh, watch out for this cowlick here. [The barber trims off the hair two-thirds]
Barber: Like that?
Guy on the Chair: Not exactly! No!

Class of the Titans / Zeke and Lex Luthor [1.10]

[edit]
[last lines]
Voiceover Woman: Cinnamon Bear Traps!
Man: Ow!
Voiceover Woman Pecan Blandies [girl sighs] and Thin Prints.

S'UP/ Mouse M.D. [1.11]

[edit]
Dr. Allison Cameron Mouse, this patient has been sick for weeks.
Cookie Monster: [burping] Oh! Stomach hurt!
Mickey Mouse: How many times have he tossed his cookies?
Count von Count: I will count the times! One, one puke! Two, two pukes! [lightning flashes] Three-- [Mickey swipes the number with the cane and pushes him against the wall] If you don't can it, you'll be counting the number of stitches I put in your face!
Count von Count: Ah, yes.
Dr. Allison Cameron: He's getting worse and these X-rays are baffling.
Cookie Monster: Me like cookies.
Mickey Mouse: He's lying! And I'll prove it by adducing him to vomit.
Dr. Allison Cameron: How will you do that?
(Mickey shows Allison Cameron a picture of Spencer Pratt.)
Dr. Allison Cameron: Mouse, are you crazy?! You'll lose your license!
Mickey: Not before he loses his lunch.
Cookie Monster: Ohh! Me so sick of Spencer Pratt. [vomits on Mickey]
Count von Count: One puke! (More of Cookie Monster's barf flies) Two pukes!
[Count laughs then swallows some of the vomit]
Count von Count: Three pukes!
Mickey Mouse: Just as I suspected! Broccoli. You've been eating vegetables and your body is rejecting them.
Cookie Monster: Okay, okay. Me try to eat healthier without anyone knowing. I mean, me Cookie Monster; not Veggie Monster.

Da Grinchy Code / Duck [1.12]

[edit]
Nicolas Cage: I'm led to believe that the man called "The Grinch" stole all your things and took off on a pinch. He cracked his whip on an antique sleigh, and knew the right codes to get out the same way.
Bart Simpson lookalike who: You found all that out from the desk in his room?
Nicolas Cage: Not really.
Narrator: Said Cage.
Nicolas Cage: I just watched the cartoon. (Pulls out a DVD of the cartoon)
Narrator: When all of a sudden, a blanket of snow Covered the men from their heads to their toes. It was the Grinch himself, who arrived with the stuff.
Grinch: You're lying!
Narrator: He said.
Grinch: And I'm calling you bluffs. From that story you told was sure to surmise, That the bandits you seek are really you guys. See, I found that old sled that I supposedly used To steal all the gifts from all of the Whos. But if memory serves, and the truth might just sting, It's you who has access to antique things. (points to Nicholas Cage) And that whipping you heard came from old Doctor Jones, While the code-meister here broke into your homes.
Announcer: And everybody loves SpongeBob, except for when he's not wearing his makeup.
[SpongeBob dressed as an elf is shown as a fruitcake]
Little Red Riding Hood: Jacob!
Big Bad Wolf: Excuse me? [a flash mob attacks him] No! No! Wait! You've got it all wrong! [the mob exits] Big Bad Wolf: Man, i hate those movies.

Snott Pilgrim vs. the Wonderful World of Disney / Malcolm in the Middle Earth [1.13]

[edit]
Snott Pilgrim: I'm not gonna fight a bunch of old [bleep]!
[All gasp]
Grumpy: Did he said the M word?
Happy: Munchkins?
Doc: No, the other one!
Snott Pilgrim: I said old men. I don't even know why they bleeped it.
Doc: Dwarves, begin musical attack!
Dwarves: Hohaah!
Snott Pilgrim: Oh, no, you don't!
Malcolm: [to the viewers] One mom to rule them all.

Pokémon Park / WWER [1.14]

[edit]
Singers: ♪ Slop n' Shop, your favorite GROSS-ery store ♪
Voiceover Guy: On sale this week at Slop N' Shop: Mac and Sneeze. Fish Icks. Troll House Cookies. Goat Meal... and Jiffy Poop!
Singers: ♪ Slop n' Shop, your favorite GROSS-ery store ♪
Movie Parody Announcer: The Thingy! Coming soon-ish or some-Thingy. Duh, I don't think it's written yet, to be honest.

So You Think You Can Train Your Dragon How to Dance / Yo Gagga Gagga! [1.15]

[edit]
Bomb Guy: Hey, man. I totally aced that test!
Person: High five, no; wait... [explodes]

The Straight A-Team / Gaming's Next Top Princess [1.16]

[edit]
Alan: Actually, I'll stick with my lab partners.
The A: Phineas and Ferb?
Phineas: Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna today. Make a better science project then the Straight A-Team.
Hannibal: Not if we can help it. Quick, boys! Grab what you can. We'll show Hideous and Nerd here who the better builders are.
Guy in Bathroom (voice only, as the guy's taking the toilet seat) Hey, I was using that!
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
[Agent P has the remote in his hand, The Straight A-Team gasps, Agent P pushes the button and the van blows up taking The Straight A-Team with it.]
Perry the Platypus (in pet mode): [Chatters]
Teacher: Nice work, boys! I know I promised you an A, but are you okay with an A+ instead?
Phineas: Yes, yes I am.
Carly: We got jobs!
Sam: Yay! As matadors? [screams]
Announcer:¡AY Carly! And Freddie takes over the show! Oh no!
Freddie: Hi, I'm Carly and I'm Sam...and I'm confused.
Announcer: ¡AY Carly! Plus, Spencer gets into some hot water!
Spencer: Uh, it's not water, it's soup.
Announcer: ¡AY Carly! All this and more on an all new ¡AY Carly! ¡AY Carly! Followed by SpongeRoberto SquarePants!
SpongeRoberto SquarePants (Mexican SpongeBob): I'm ready!

The Buzz Identity / Two and a Half Man [1.17]

[edit]
Lotso: I'm afraid you know too much, Buzz.
Buzz Lightyear: You'll never get away with this, Lotso! Pixar movies are sad in the middle, and sometimes at the beginning, but never at the end!
(Lotso snaps his fingers. Big Baby comes in with a screwdriver)
Buzz Lightyear: Wait! What are you doing?!
Lotso: Hmmm. "Resetting your Buzz Lightyear."
(Big Baby removes the screws and is about to switch Buzz from "Play Mode" to "Demo Mode".)
Buzz Lightyear: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(Buzz ends up being relocated in a bath tub, unconscious. Along sails a Fisher Price ship.)
Blue Sailor: Whoever he is, his batteries are gonna rust if he's left in the tub too long.
(Buzz has been lifted up into the sailors' boat and placed on a bunk.)
Red Sailor: Not bad for two guys with no arms.
Buzz Lightyear:' '[jumps up] Who am I?! [punches one of the sailors] I have no memory! [kicks the other] Who are you?! [then slaps him] What's my name?!
Blue Sailor: We don't know. It wasn't... on your underwear...
Buzz Lightyear: Oh, no! [pause] You checked my underwear?

[Title card: The Buzz Identity]

Ken: Good to see you again, Buzz.
Buzz Lightyear: How do you know my name? Did you look at my underwear?!
Wheezy: Everything Ken told you was a lie!
Buzz Lightyear: Even the cake?!
Wheezy: No, the cake is real. And extremely rich!
Mummy: [finding out the store's closet] Aw, man! Why is it always closed? How am I gonna get these rags clean?
Peter Griffin: [watching Two And a Half Men] So that's what that looks like. Heh.

Are You Karate Kidding Me? / The Fresh Prawn of Bel-Air [1.18]

[edit]
Po: More like black and white!
Dora: Wait just a second! [Everyone gasps] Who did this to my backpack?
[Everyone stares at her with just one look]
Backpack: I have such a concussion. I can't remember!
Man at Aquarium: Is that an octopus?
Police Man: Gee, I don't know. I've never actually looked behind me.

HOPS / Naru210 [1.19]

[edit]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up cop?
Cop: I thought you lived underground.
Bugs Bunny: The rent was too high, so I moved into a cul-de-sac.
Cop: Well, could you keep it do-- what the?
[last lines]
Baby: (voice only) Why is MAD always a rerun?

Ko-Bee Movie / Law & Ogre [1.20]

[edit]
Ko-Bee: Wow, this place is great. Look at all the restaurants that welcome bees! Wait 'till they get a load a'--
(Ko-Bee stops at the Kobe Bryant billboard)
Ko-Bee: What the--?! But he-- but I-- That guy stole my reasonable good looks, and my tattoo!
Bee: Why don't you sue him in court?
Ko-Bee: Sue him in court? 'Cause that would be really boring to watch. I'll do something better.
Bee: All right, I get it. Bee Movie was boring!
Steven Zirnkilton: [voice only] In a criminal justice system, the people are protected by attorneys; the cartoon characters however, well...let's face it. We just like this title.
Donkey: [holding a pad of paper] Hey, look; I drew the credits! [cues end credits on paper]

Pooh Grit / Not a Fan a Montana [1.21]

[edit]
Tigger: Last Name is Whinetrop
Owl: I think Pooh, is in my outhouse.
[Christopher Robin walks up to an outhouse]
Christopher Robin: I sure hope were talking about the same "Pooh (Poo)".
Voiceover Guy: [singing] ♪ The gum made for you from dead Pikachus ♪
Big Fish: [swallowing a fisherman] Got to get up quickly early in the morning. [burps]

The Social Netjerk / Smallville: Turn Off the Clark [1.22]

[edit]
Sister Snake: Yes-s-s-s! Triple word s-s-score!
Brother Snake: Oh, come on! "s-s-s" is not a word!
Sister: Okay, challenge me.
Brother Snake: [short pause] You know what, I can open books-s-s!

TwiGH School Musical / Avenger Time [1.23]

[edit]
Henry Goodson: Oh hey dad, what do you think of my new haircut?
Road Runner: Meep Meep!
Announcer: "Meep! My Dad Says!" Because when you hear what comes out of his mouth.
Boy: Do you know what happened to dad's old sweater?
[Road Runner is eating a pile of birdseed]
Henry: The green one? Ya I gave it to the salvation army.
Road Runner: Meep Meep!
Announcer: Your about to hit the road running.
Henry: Looks like we got the place all to ourselves. What do you want to do?
Girl: I got two words for you.
Road Runner: Meep Meep!
[the girl screams & jumps up]
Henry: Dad! Can you make this any worse!?
[anvil falls on Henry's head]
Announcer: "Meep! My Dad Says!"
[Road Runner sticks his tongue out and runs off]
Jake: It's clobberin' time! [segment ends]

ArTHOR / The Big Fang Theory [1.24]

[edit]
Teacher: X plus Y equals... [hit by a spitball] Okay, who threw this?
Teacher: The word of 18... [a Batarang hits him] Who threw this? [reveals to be Batman]
Kid: But I don't even own a Batarang!
Teacher: A verb is an action... [gets zapped, disappears and reveals to be an alien]
Kid: I guess I'll walk myself to the principal's office.

Ribbitless / The Clawfice [1.25]

[edit]
Voiceover Man: And now for Gross and Beyond Gross. Drooling on your desk is gross! Putting it back where it came from is beyond gross. Having lots of earwax is gross. Having enough to make an earwax museum is beyond gross. Finding a fly in your soup is gross. Discovering that your soup is a Community Swimming Pool for Flies is beyond gross! This has been Gross and Beyond Gross.

Force Code / Flammable [1.26]

[edit]
Voiceover Man: MAD takes a look at what these movies were called in Japan. Tangled became "Ouch! You're on my hair!". Julie & Julia: "I'm young, you're old! Let's eat!" True Grit sinks into "Girls Seeks Man with iPad-tch". Despicable Me went by "Uncle Fester Gets a Job" and Unstoppable became "I can't stop the train...oh, wait; no. I stopped it."

Season 2

[edit]

RiOa / Thomas the Unstoppable Tank Engine [2.1]

[edit]
Blu: Great! My girlfriend's been kidnapped and I'm the only bird in Rio that can't fly!
Alfred E. Neuman: Wheee! [flies off]
Blu: Make that the only thing in Rio that can't fly.
Big Bird: [a ring lands in his wing] Hey! A ring! [flies off]
Kermit: Aw, but I'm the green one.
[ring lands in front of Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show]
Mordecai: A Green Lantern ring? I know where we're headed!
Both: Ooooooooooooooooooo-a! [Mordecai flies off]
Rigby: Huh? I guess it can only carry one at a time. I'll wait.
[ring lands in a pile of birdseed and the Road Runner runs up and eats it]
Road Runner: Meep Meep!
[Road Runner flies off and drops a glowing green anvil on Wile E. Coyote; scene cuts to Oa]
Blu: Everyone, I've summoned you here to create a new Green Lantern CAW! Sorry, it's Corps. Green Lantern Corps. The point being, the love of my life is being held against her will. So I need you all to take the oath.
All: In brightest day, in blackest night,
Despite our shape, our size, our height,
We're birds who walk, which isn't right,
But starting now, we will take flight.
[All birds fly to planet Earth; scene cuts to Rigby, still waiting]
Rigby: Yep, should be coming for me any time now.
Alvin: [seeing a snake with bumps inside] Simon? Theodore?
Sleepy Cloud Voiceover Guy: Voiceover: Plus, the Sleepy Cloud is environmentally friendly, made from air and air-like materials. So get rid of those puffy eyes once and for all with the... hey, what are you doing here?
Grouchy Neighbor: I'll show you to listen; Sleepy Cloud! [beats up the announcer]

Super 80's / Captain America's Got Talent [2.2]

[edit]
Joe Lamb: We have to stop the 80's from taking over the town!
Alice Dainard: Why? Weren't the 80's fun?
Joe Lamb: Yes, but they also gave us Urkel (shows a picture of Steve Urkel) and ALF. (shows a picture of ALF)
(Cast of Super 8 run around screaming. In the city people are being chased by Pac-Man)
Pac-Man: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka!
(He-Man slicing cars, Care Bears holding torches while riding My Little Ponies)
People: (Screaming)
(People's cars are starting to turn into GoBots)
Old Man: Oh, my gosh! It's a Transformer!
Red Gobot: Actually, I'm a Gobot.
Old Man: A What-Bot?
Red Gobot: A Gobot! Just like Transformers, only smaller, not as popular, and, uh... (cries) I wanna be a Transformer!
Mr. Peanut: [after tap dancing] Wait, wait! I can do magic too! [a man eats him]
Iron Man: [through his cell phone] Yeah, Spider-Man? You're in. [segment ends]

Kung Fu Blander / Destroy, Bob the Builder, Destroy! [2.3]

[edit]
Lord Shen: Die, Po, and let kung fu die with you! Ah ha ha ha ha!
(Scene goes to Po running away Angry Birds style from Lord Shen who is firing Angry Birds at him)
Blue Speedy Bird: Ooh!
Grenade Bird: Whee! (explodes)
Pink 5-Splitter Bird: He he he he!
Orange Square Angry Bird: Ha ha ha ha!
(Orange Square Angry Bird hits TNT that collapses the temple causing 2,000 points)
(Scene goes to Lord Shen and a Green Circle Angry Bird in the slingshot)
Grenade Bird: You know that was your own temple you destroyed, right?
Lord Shen: I know, but firing these things is so addictive.
(Lord Shen lets go of the slingshot sending Grenade Bird in the air)
Grenade Bird: Whee!
(Scene goes to Po running away while Angry Birds try to explode on him)
Po: Black and white, black and white, gotta find someone black and white!
(Scene goes to Pepé Le Pew hugging a shaking Penelope Pussycat in the city)
Pepé Le Pew: My little mon cherrie (Zooms in on them), kiss me. Mmm (Po grabs him and aims him in the direction of a Green Circle Angry Bird), mmm, mmm.
(Pepe gets blown up by the Angry Birds)
Pepé Le Pew: What a woman. (turns to dust)
Po: Okay, not him. (scene switches to Jim Carrey and his pet penguins)
Mr. Popper: And shuffle ball, step; shuffle ball, lounge.
Po: Hi, I'm gonna need all these penguins.
Mr. Popper: But these penguins are teaching me how to be a better father.
Po: [quick silence] Did you hear what he just said?
Po: Occasion, prepare to meet your- [explosion] Guess it’s not the penguin. Prepare to meet- [explosion] or Spider-Man. [explosion] or this cookie. [explosion] That sign, [explosion] this photo, [explosion] these dice, [explosion] these Pokémon.
Hot Dog Stand Guy: That'll be nine hundred billion dollars.
Costumer: Uh, better make that just relish.

Pirates of the Pair of Tweens / Konan the Kardashian [2.4]

[edit]
Fish: This is one splash for Fish, one giant splash [plants a flag] for fish kind! [a bear grabs the fish and eats it up]
Voiceover Guy: The Curious Case of Benjamin Batman. Witness the magic that is the 20 minutes in the middle of this movie where Batman can actually do stuff!
Sheldon J. Plankton: I am king of this!
(Plankton plops down and scene goes to an exhausted Jack Sparrow)
Jack Sparrow: Oh, hi, diddly dee, (Jack Sparrow lays down on the bench) a pillow and slippers for me.
(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica walk up to Jack Sparrow)
Young Angelica: Can we go to the movies?
(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)
Jack Sparrow: (Groans) I just want to- is rest a thing? Can I say "rest" (Scene backs out) and just have it mean what I think it means?

Fast Hive / Minute to Flynn It [2.5]

[edit]
Narrator: So Pooh decided to get some help from his very good friend Rabbit. (The screen goes to a page with Pooh going to Rabbit's house.)
Pooh: No! I won't be doing that! (Punches Rabbit back in his house)
Rabbit: (groans)
Narrator: But it's in the book!
Pooh: Well, I called for some help outside the book.
[Vin Diesel and Pooh's friend start their engines]
Eeyore: [car breaks down] Pathetic.
All 4: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Narrator: And just as I was afraid, they all lift off the page and landed into other books.
Narrator: Pooh into Where the Wild Things Are, Piglet and Tigger into The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Eeyore into--
Eeyore: Everybody Poops.
Carol: What are you doing here?
Pooh: Um, we were just trying to get some honey.
Carol: Oh, why didn't you say so? We have some here.
Pooh: Oh.....
Caterpillar: I was gonna eat this, but there's plenty for everyone.
Bee: In this book too, 'cause as you know, even bees--
(The bee poops on Eeyore.)
Eeyore: Poop....
Narrator: And what you may ask happened to Dom? well he landed into a novelization of the movie, Cars.
Lightning McQueen: I hear you've got a thing for chains and cars.
Mater: Ha, now you're talkin' my language.
Dom: No! This is why I hate books! [flies off the ramp, explodes and dies]
Mailbox: [shoving envelopes down guy's throat] How do you like it, huh? Not so fun, pal? Is it? Is it?
Skeleton: Huh? What the? Where'd all my skin go? [both students scream and run out of the classroom, teacher faints; jumps up and down; stops panicking]

Cowboys & Alien Force / ThunderLOLcats [2.6]

[edit]
Voiceover Guy: The 9-Voltron Battery now only the power of 9...
Optimus Prime: [rips up the screen] Who cares? I'm so juiced right now!

TransBOREmores 3: Dark of the Blue Moon / The Walking Fred [2.7]

[edit]
King: That's not what Christopher Cool-umbus says.
Christopher Cool-umbus: Hey, I'd say the Earth is funky! [plays a guitar]
Magic Gell & Pet Shell Announcer: Magic, uh...gel. I mean, pet...d'oh! Why didn't I give this stuff away?

X Games: First Class / Criminal Minecraft [2.8]

[edit]
Grim Reaper: [jazz music plays] They should not have done that! [slices the chandelier, smashes the TV with a pickaxe, storms out the door]
Voiceover Guy: Kirby's Star Tours. We knew what you meant, but how else are we gonna get your money?
David Rossi: Hey, look; I built a house! Plus, I made this new friend! [creeper grows, house explodes] Oh, I lost my house; and my friend. Oh, look; a new friend! [creeper grows, explodes and dies]

Kitchen Nightmares Before Christmas / How I Met Your Mummy [2.9]

[edit]
Gordon Ramsay: You call this head "well done"? It's still blinking for crying out loud! Put him back in the furnace!
Grim Reaper: Dear Betty, you will die at sea.
Bobby Wallace: Trick or Treat!
Woman: Awww! Look at you! You're a scary skeleton!
Fred: I got him!
Shaggy: Like, great work Fred!
Daphne: You captured the Sidewalk Skeleton!
Fred: But he's not really a skeleton at all! He's really…
Mystery, Inc. gang: Little Bobby Wallace?!
Velma: Looks like little Bobby was scaring people into giving him candy by dressing up as a skeleton.
Woman: Of course he was! It's Halloween! Y-you can't just…
Fred: Look, gang!
Bobby Wallace: Ah!
Fred: It's the Lawn Witch! Get her!
Mary Williams: [screams]
Velma: Nice try, evil witch! Or should I say...Mary Williams from the Old Williams' House?!
Mary Williams: [tears role down her cheek] I just wanted to Trick or Treat!
Shaggy: Look, it's the Grim Reaper
Scooby-Doo: Let's get him!
Announcer: The Scooby-Doo Gang, Ruining Halloween since 1969!
Larry the Cucumber: This Halloween, prepare to be frightened with... (evil laughter) VeggieTales from the Crypt! (evil laughter again) Join me, the Keeper of the Crisper, for some rotten and juicy tales of morality. Like this one.
(transition to an Eggplant and a Baby Carrot)
Eggplant: Ha-ha! You're so short, you're just a baby.
Baby Carrot: It's not nice to be a bully.
Eggplant: Oh yeah? Why not?
Baby Carrot: Because baby carrots grow up to be...
Giant Carrot: MONSTER CARROTS!
(Eggplant screams in terror, transition back to Larry)
Larry the Cucumber: (evil laughter) There's a healthy serving of justice! And there'll be plenty more ghoulish stories on this week's episode of--
Man's voice: Ugh, how long has this been in here?
(his hand picks up Larry out of the fridge interior)
Larry the Cucumber: No! Wait! I've got a show with everything!

Dances with Wolverine: A Footloose Parody / Tater Tots & Tiaras [2.10]

[edit]
Wolverine: We did it, guys! [people's bodies sliced themselves, remaining their feet intact] Oh, no, not again! You saw what happened, right? They-They fell. Let's just get our stories straight.
Vance: Hey, I'm Vance, and if you got dirt, I've got news for you: (in slow motion) YOU'RE A SLOB!!! (normal) Heh, just kidding, but there's no better way to clean up messes and entertain your kids than with SpongeWOW!
SpongeWOW (SpongeBob): Hi, everybody!
Vance: You ready to clean the house, SpongeWOW?
SpongeWOW: Am I ev-- Wait, what? I was told there was a party!
Vance: [spills his juice] Uh-oh! How'd that happen?
SpongeWOW: Well, you just knocked over those bottle---- (Announcer grabs SpongeWOW and rubs him on the spilt juice) Hey, hey, hey!
Vance: Luckily, SpongeWOW can absorb anything.
SpongeWOW: (gargled) Watch it!
Vance: You mean watch it disappear? HEY-OH!
SpongeWOW: Don't Hey-OH that!
Vance: See, clean in seconds! But would you look at this? Looks like someone accidentally spilled a dozen bottles of non-FDA approved hot sauce all over this counter.
SpongeWOW: Someone?!? It was you! (Announcer grabs SpongeWOW and rubs him on the hot sauce) Hey, hey, hey! What are you--
Vance: Not a problem for SpongeWOW!
SpongeWOW: Speak for yourself! It's burning!
Vance: Did you know that the average person spends up to $900 a week on napkins?
SpongeWOW: That's a lie!
Vance: Well, for just $19.99, you get a SpongeWOW that you can use over and over again.
SpongeWOW: Kill me now...
Vance: And if you wanna clean those floors while also amusing those tweens, try our new Moppit.
Moppit: Hey kids, someone having a birthday?
SpongeWOW: RUN!!!
Moppit: (Screams and runs away)
Vance: Get back here! The SpongeWOW and Moppet, available where unsuspecting kids' characters hang out.
Wolf Man: Let's not fight. There's enough humans for both of us. [Justin Bieber uses his peace ray]
Bear: That only worked once. [eats Justin Bieber]
Robot: I love you, Twilight.
Robert Pattinson: What about my other movie, Water for Elephants?

Demise of the Planet of the Apes / The Celebrity Ape-rentice [2.11]

[edit]
Ben Stiller: No, it's not!
Kevin James: [slaps Ben Stiller in the face] Yeah, it is!
Kevin James: [inside the statue of Liberty] Whoo! I won an Oscar, baby! [the statue's head falls down]
Monkey Contestant: Bahamas!
Game Show Host: [buzzing sound] Ooh, I'm sorry; it's "bananas"! [bell rings]
Monkey Contestant: Bananas? Oh, mother of pearl.
Game Show Host: [monkeys spin the wheel, storms out] I quit!

Moneyball Z / Green Care Bear [2.12]

[edit]
Guy on the Beach: Oh, I love watching the tide roll out using the most interesting things: shells, driftwood; [gulps, sees a human head]
Human Head: And now I got sand in my ear.
Guy on Theme Park Ride: Totally not scary! [they scream, saw a saw blade, slices the log in half and everyone came off]

Spy vs. Spy Kids / The Superhero Millionaire Matchmaker [2.13]

[edit]
Patient: You said I wanted Tummy Tuck, not Duck!
Taylor Lautner: [finding celebrities in houses] Matthew McCaughey, are you my... Chris Evans, are... Hugh Jackson... Halle... Brad... Mr. Krabs...
Mickey Mouse: The Mickey Mouse Mouse Exterminator Service: This war is for you! [throws a grenade at the screen, explodes, turns white]

Captain American't / My Supernatural Sweet 16 [2.14]

[edit]
Captain America: [Scrat breaks the ice] Wow, thanks for saving me! [Scrat takes the nut] Hey, come back! I...oh, well. At least The Avengers will find me. Who else gets to lead their team?
Voiceover Guy: Clifford's Notes. We'll be a well read kid thanks to the Big Red Dog. If he speaks his language, that is.

FROST / Undercover Claus [2.15]

[edit]
Kid: He's not Santa!
Man with Bazooka: Just watch! [blasts a rocket gun in the direction]
Father: You missed!
Man with Bazooka: Did I?
Neighbor: My tree looks awesome! Thank you!
Richard Donner: Hi, I'm Richard Donner. I directed the first Superman movie. You know, good one.
Charlie Sheen: [seeing the vandalized car] What the...who did this to my car?
Peanut Children: Merry Christmas, Charlie Sheen! [humming]
Charlie Sheen: Get out of here, you lousy kids! I told you, one more time and I'm calling the cops!
[edit]
News Anchor: Our best picture: Red Delicious, Aftershave, A Fistful of Figs, Margarine...wait, they're telling me this is just my grocery shopping lift. No wonder I always thank the Oscar approval.
Vampire Reverend: If anyone here knows the reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or... [before he tries to finish, an arrow spears through his body] call me a doctor. [turns to dust]
Buffy Summers: Somebody hired a slayer?
Al Gore: [as Buffy stabs him] You can't kill me with wood! I am wood! [slices him with an ax]
Voiceover: Bad Idea #317: Black hole bungee jumping.
Astronaut: Whoo! [sucks into a black hole, releases] See, I told you it was safe! [a meteor slams into him]
Kid in Museum: [seeing The Land Before Time characters are skeletons] I have to say, I'm not a fan of this one.
Voiceover: Bad Idea #827: Strawberry scented sleeping bags.
[the kid in sleeping bag was surrounded by animals]
Squirrel: I know we wouldn't just walk 3 miles to find out there's no strawberries in that sleeping bag.
Sleeping Bag Kid: Hey, look; the next cartoon! [zips away from the animals]
Cookie Monster: [grabbing the interrogator] You eat garbage like Oscar, too? [shoves dirt into the interrogator's mouth] Here, eat garbage! Eat garbage! More garbage!

WWe Bought a ZOO / 2 Broke Powerpuff Girls [2.17]

[edit]
Justin: [mouthful] Ma, I can't stop now! I'm at level 63! Also, I can't feel my jaw.
Smurfnet: I gotta get high speed internet.

DolPhineas and Ferb Tale / VICTORious [2.18]

[edit]
Nicholas Cage: Hey, I'm Nicholas Cage. I'll bounce back.
Morgan Freeman: Engage feet rockets! [blasts off, but malfunctions] Oh, no! I forgot to get feet gas! [explodes]
Clown Wife: Can we please get normal chairs?
Johnson: Hey, everyone! I'm Johnson! Sorry I'm late.
Guy: But if you're Johnson, then who's...
Other Guy: Wait. What just happened here?

My Little War Horse / The Tonight Show with Jay Lion-O [2.19]

[edit]
Kid: [draws a well with his magic marker] I said "draw awell", not "draw a well". [draws Mona Lisa instead]
Aqualad: You can actually. I can breathe underwater.
Man at the Mountains: Remember, no loud noises. [a woman sneezes, other man drops pots and pans, third man plays drums] I said, no loud noises! [this starts an avalanche until a goalie guy stops it]
Mumm-Ra: Oh, come on! We've already set up!
Jay Lion-O: Sorry, old pal, we'll have you back next week.
Mumm-Ra: No way; Lion-O. This is the third time you've bumped us. We're playing! And a one, and a two... [band plays]
Jay Lion-O: No, Mumm-Ra! It's time for Jimmy Fallon! You will not deprive America in his huge musical impersonations! [attacks Mumm-Ra and band members]

Al Pacino and the Chipmunks / That's What Super Friends Are For [2.20]

[edit]
Bad Idea Voiceover: Bad Idea #894: The Launch Box!
Kid #1: I have tuna!
Kid #2: I got ham and cheese!
Kid #3: I got... [reveals to be a rocket, launching him into the air]
Kid #2: Shucks. I was asking him if he wanted to trade.
Taylor Lautner: It's okay, Bella. I'll help you.
Bella: Call 911...
Taylor Lautner: [to the viewers] What, take my shirt off and use it as a bandage?
Voiceover Guy: Eat-Ohs: What were they thinking?

Real Veal / Celebrity Wife Swamp [2.21]

[edit]
Elephant: [figuring the right password at the ATM] Wow. I have zero imagination!
Man at the Zoo: Oh, my sandwich! [gets the sandwich, drops the pickle] Oh, no! I dropped the pickle! [two zoo animals attack him]

Garfield of Dreams / I Hate My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [2.22]

[edit]
Seth MacFarlane: [wakes up from his nightmare about animals chasing people in the theater] Oh; phew, it was just a dream! Well, that's why I say let the past stay where it is. Always come up something original. (goes to typewriter) A annoying dad, a screwed up family, and a talking animal... no, alien... no, animal. (chuckles) Yep, original.
Tough Guy: The left hand of doom!
Kid: Now with a couple magic pair of left-handed scissors!
Tough Guy: That's not part of the... [groans]
Dentist: I don't know how many times do I have to tell you, no more stapling 20 pages at a time! [stapler talks gibberish] I can't understand a word you're saying.

The Adventures of TaunTaun / Everybody Loves Rayman [2.23]

[edit]
Luke Skywalker: [wakes up from his nightmare about swollen in the pit] Wow. I just had the weirdest dream that I was starring in a crazy version of Tintin. I wonder what could have brought that on.
Han Solo: I don't know, but get back inside that TaunTaun. The shelter's not up yet. And I thought these parody's smelled bad, on the outside.
Bowser: Koopa Soup! For a limited time, so jump on it while you can! [Mario enters, jumps in on one of the flavors] That was an expression!
Light Bulb #1: Hey, I got an idea! We should... [burns out]
Light Bulb #2: What was your idea?
Light Bulb #1: Eh, I lost it. God, I hate that!
Kid in Bed: Oh, man! Monday? I hate Mondays!
Kid in Bed: Oh, man! It's Tuesday and the weekend's over? I hate Tuesdays!
[last lines]
Darth Vader: Hey, move over! It's cold out here!

Potions 11 / Moves Like Jabba [2.24]

[edit]
Man in Court Room: We the jury found the defendant not guilty.
Steven's Dad: Steven, I thought I told you to mow... [before he finishes his sentence, Steven sprays him] Aah! It's wet! I hate that! Ah, forget it. I'll mow the lawn.
Victoria's Mom: Victoria, I thought I told you to turn that music down... [Victoria sprays her, runs out of the room]

Addition Impossible / New Gill [2.25]

[edit]
Superman: Two scratch-offs, please. [uses X-ray vision] No, not that one. No, not that one; no...yes! That's the one!
Voiceover Guy: Bad Idea #211: Tug-O-Worm!
Coach: And, go! [the people pull the worm, worm explodes and green goo got everywhere]
Classmate #1: Ew!
Classmate #2: It's so stinky!
Coach: This was a bad idea!
Ariel: [singing] Used to be a mermaid, now I'm just a girl-maid about to marry a prince. [walks into a church and sees Prince Eric about to marry Ursula, much to her surprise] (speaking) Eric! What are you doing!? You're supposed to marry me, not Ursula!
Prince Eric: I'm sorry, Ariel. I just can't stand all your constant singing. I mean at first, it was endearing, but now it's just annoying. REALLY ANNOYING! In conclusion, I'd rather marry an evil witch.
Ariel: Ugh! This is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me! [Ursula turns Ariel back into a mermaid] Nope. Actually, this is worse.
[Ariel is on a date with SpongeBob at The Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: [laughing]
Ariel: Uhh... I haven't even said anything yet.
SpongeBob: [continues laughing as Ariel looks bored]
Ariel: Ugh. Why can't I find true love? [starts singing] Oh boy! What's my problem?
Scuttle: [holds up some hamburgers] These are called ping waldies! I think they're for blocking out sound.
Schmidt: Eh, it's worth a shot. [he and the cast of New Girl stick the burgers in their ears]
Ariel: [singing] Those MAD show folks. What a mess.

iChronicle / Hulk Smash [2.26]

[edit]
Earth: [crying] I know what I'm not wanted. [sucks into the Sun, explodes]
Superman: [after building a monument] Another job well done! [chuckles, the monument reads "Superman is Awesome!"] I am awesome! [sneezes, the monument collapses]
Voiceover Guy: From the makers of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close comes Extremely Far and Incredibly Blurry starring... [sees two people on a field] Who is that? Is that Tom Hanks? Is that you, Tom? [the two people wave at him] Oh, they don't both wave. They...I just...ah, forget it! Never see this movie lately.

Season 3

[edit]

The Iron Giant Lady / Raising a New Hope [3.1]

[edit]
Egyptian Man: [as an annoying man gets crushed by a piano] Finally, some quiet!
Lumberjack: Timber! [echoes "Timber" as the tree falls]
Bartender: Hey! You can't bring that thing in here!
Horse: Sorry, boy. I won't be long.

Yawn Carter / Franklin & Crash [3.2]

[edit]
Daniel Radcliffe: I'm sorry, did you come to watch a movie, or to chew? [old lady talks with mouthful]
Mario: Give me back-a-the princess!
Bowser: Never!

Battleship vs. Titanic / Jurassic Parks and Recreation [3.3]

[edit]
Pile of Wood: Later, jerk! [punches Jack in the face, sinking him to death]
Voiceover Guy: Bad Idea #7: The Gastronaut.
Astronaut: This is one giant fart for me, and one giant fart also for me. [a spaceship crashes into him]
Sheriff RobaBobaLobo: Have a nice day!
Voiceover Guy: Sheriff RobaBobaLobo: Giving crime the reboot this fall!

Betty White & the Huntsman / Ancient Greek MythBusters [3.4]

[edit]
Announcer: From the producers of 20/20 comes 20/80.
News Reporter: Good evening! Tonight on 20/80, we'll go undercover to...I can't read that. It's all blurry.
Announcer: The hard-any show that puts the news in focus: soft focus.
News Reporter: The fact is thinking for some obnoxious honesty.
Announcer: 20/80: If you want the inside scoop in a slightly pair for a right eye...
News Reporter: Oh, no. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth!
Announcer: Then tune in to 20/80.
News Reporter: Okay, this isn't good.
Grouchy Guy: For crying out loud, didn't you hear me? I've been stuck to the ceiling for; like, an hour! Heaven forbid up you look now and then!
Panicked Man: [a T-Rex attacks him] Guys! I don't think this is the 1970s!
Documentarist: [the Cyclops swallows a woman] Wow, you know what? This was a really, bad idea. Uh, I'm gonna go.

I Am Lorax / Modern Family Circus [3.5]

[edit]
Mickey Mouse: [the chandelier crashes onto them] But we weren't even zombies!
Abraham Lincoln: Four score in seven years... [a pile of puke lands on him] Well, that speech was too long anyway.
Mime #1: Wow! Walking in the wind is more difficult than I thought it would be! [flies off]
Mime #2: Uh-oh! I better climb this ladder to escape! [climbs the ladder, wind flies away] Aaaaah!
Announcer: Mimes: They think they know everything.

This Means War Machine / iCharlie [3.6]

[edit]
Mailman: [the door comes to life with an eyeball and fangs] Nice try, Door Monster!
Door Monster: [groans] I have got to change my name.
Oompa Loompa Singers: Oompa Loompa & Golden are simply the best!
Magneto: [the host's microphone sticks to his body] Well, what'd you expect? It's Cheaters Week!
Charlie Brown: Hi, welcome back to iCharlie! Now it's time for nunchuck-demonstration!
[falls, gets dizzy and collapses]
[last lines]
Girl: [surrounded by the Power Seesaw] But I'm tired!
Boy: Keep going!

The Mixed Martial Artist / Aquaman vs. Wild [3.7]

[edit]
Announcer: Hobbit Trails, just like prison with a giant water bottle!
Patient: I, C, A, F, 14.
Eye Doctor: What are you, blind?
Patient: No, "I see an F-14"! (eye doctor sees an F-14, screams, F-14 crashes into it) So, no need for glasses; right?
Announcer: King Tuttowski: It's time to skate like an Egyptian!
Aquaman: I'm going to go back into the desert! (runs off, ends segment)

The Blunder Games / The Poop-seidon Adventure [3.8]

[edit]
Guy: [during countdown] Uh, I'm looking for Parking Level 4. Did I get on the wrong elevator? [a lion attacks him]
Evergreen: Hey, I use a bow and arrow too!
Merida: Cool! [Evergreen punches her in the face]
Egyptian: Why do we bury all that food?
Pitcher: Did you know that French toast bread is called "challah"? [runs off]

The Average-ers / The Legend of Dora [3.9]

[edit]
Hulk: [attacking Joss Whedon] Give Firefly only one season!
Edward Norton: Wait, this movie's over? Hulk's hardly in it! [turns green and transforms into the Hulk] Hulk want more screen time! [crashes into the screen, statics and ends segment]
Tasmanian Devil: What a mess! [spins, cleans the room]
Guy: [injured by the Hulk] The Tasmanian Devil Duster. Get yours today.
Hulk: [scaring Alfred E. Neuman and the fish] Hulk don't want tiny screen time!
[last lines]
Hulk: Okay, that's enough time now.

Men in Black to the Future / Pokémon of Interest [3.10]

[edit]
Store Man: Let's see, we got a DeLorean...
Agent J: Yes!
Store Man: But that's taken.
Agent J: Oh.
Store Man: There's a phone booth...
Agent J: Alright!
Store Man: But that's out, too. [Agent J groans] Looks like all I have is this!
Agent J: A pocket Mr. T?
Marty McFly: I made it to 1955!
Agent J: Oh, sure. You get the DeLorean!
Agent J: [the ice breaks for 27 years after Captain America threw him on purpose] Man, that was not cool! I mean, it was cold. It was just...you know what I mean.
Kay: Son, you just came out of a block of ice on top of a rocket ship. Nothing you say makes sense.
Agent J: K, it's you! I mean, sounds like you; but if you look like a different... [Kay boards the rocket, becomes angry] you know what? I'm tired of this! I'm going back to a simpler time!
Superman: Coming! Almost there...one more minute...ah, forget it! You know, if I don't get it right; it's gonna bug me all day.
John Reese: I still say this just don't make any sense.
Harold Finch: What part of J.J. Abrams don't you understand?
John Reese: Come on! Are we gonna do this again? [credits roll with J.J. Abram's name, segment ends]

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Icarus / The Adjustment Burro [3.11]

[edit]
Ms. Pac-Man: Now the thing to know before handling these flowers is?
Pit: Ooh, I know! To avoid the thorns, or else you'll prick your...[touches the fire flower] This is the wrong kind of flower!
Voiceover Guy: Rental Floss 'cause all suckers buy! Although, seriously; floss is not that expensive.
Announcer: No time to watch the Ice Age movies? Then check out Concise Age.
Man: [to the viewers due to Ice Age characters] Uh, that rat thing wants the nut. If he can't get the nut, also; there's an elephant monster. Some sort.
Announcer: This has been Concise Age.
Batman: Alfred, at the end of the lane; I'm entering the Batcave as we speak. [as the Batmobile crashed into a Batcave on purpose] Maybe I hit that cave a little too well.

Finding Nemo / Once Upon a Toon [3.12]

[edit]
Marlin: Nemo! That's too far! Come back!
Nemo: I'm fine dad! What can possibly happen to a fish that's close to a blade, a net, and a worm on a hook?
[Diver captures Nemo]
Nemo: Ahhh!
Marlin: Nemo! No!
Ariel: Hey! Who are you!?
Liam Neeson: [punches Flounder] That's who I am! Now where's Nemo!?
Ariel: I have no idea!
Liam Neeson: [punches Flounder again, twice] Listen, someone captured Nemo, and if I don't get some answers, I'm gonna START BEATING PEOPLE UP!
Flounder: Start!?
Liam Neeson: YEAH! START! [continues beating up Flounder]
Ariel: Wait! Stop! I think I know who it was.
[bubble transition]
[SpongeBob is chasing jellyfish with his jellyfishing net]
SpongeBob: [laughs] This is the best day ever!
[Liam Neeson tackles SpongeBob]
Liam Neeson: Alright, SquarePants! I hear you like catching things in nets! Have you caught a fish called Nemo lately!?
SpongeBob: Nemo? How would I know? Wait a second, how are you breathing down here?
Liam Neeson: IT'S WHAT I DO! [leaves]
SpongeBob: Ha! He's lucky he left. I would've taken care of... [Liam Neeson appears again and punches SpongeBob]
Liam Neeson: I couldn't punch someone wearing 3D glasses. Sure I could! [punches the screen, statics, ends the segment]
Dinosaur Pitcher: I got it! I got it! I got it! [meteor crashes, dies]
Announcer: Extinction: It can happen at anytime.
Fish: You know, staring contests don't really work if neither of us have eyelids. [the other fish sinks up, sticks tongue out and dies] Never mind. I win!

Outtagascar / F·I·E·N·D·S [3.13]

[edit]
Alex the Lion: A circus car? This can't be right!
Shrek: I'm not The Hulk!
Buzz Lightyear: To infinity... [rips the tent, cars run him over] Once again, Pixar was ruined by Cars.
Marty: Shrek! What did you do?
Shrek: [realizes he burned the circus with his torch on purpose] Oh, no! Hulk, how could you be so stupid? Everybody run!
Man: Darn fly! [hits the fly with newspaper, fly laughs] What's so funny?
Fly: Read the headline! [man looks at the newspaper, headline says "Flies Take Over the World", a man starts screaming]
Announcer: Body of Pwoof: Some bodies are pronounced dead. Others were mispronounced.

The Amazing Spider-Minaj / Go, Dragon Ball, Go! [3.14]

[edit]
Geico Gecko: So we pinned in on him. [farts]
Professor: You are so close! [rips his diploma at the University of Walking]
Announcer: Meme Wolf: It's the worst!
[last lines]
Student: Still not done! [with wolf face in meme image] Don't dream it, meme it!

FrankenWinnie / ParaMorgan [3.15]

[edit]
Pooh: Wait, I don't think this will... [Pooh rips in half and flies, remaining his head intact] Oh, bother.
Eeyore: It's pronounced "Eeyore" but everybody gets it wrong.
Rabbit: [the new Pooh is introduced] That's what he was angry about?
Piglet: I told you he needed pants. [button hits him on the head, segment ends]
Captain America: Goes to him, I'll say. We'll be a team, but; no, he had to go for his Loki.
Hulk: Loki?!
Rabbit Farmer: [scaring tiny people] Get out of here, tiny humans! This is a rabbit's world now!

Dark Knight at the Museum / Lemming Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Video Game Deaths [3.16]

[edit]
Batman: [with cell phone] Alfred, everything in this museum comes to life! [no response] Alfred? [reveals to be Alfred E. Neuman as the butler]
Sally's dad: Sally, didn't I say I don't want you watching that... [sees the viking] viking? Oh, forget it!
Announcer: The L.A. Examiner says "I like Guy Pearce, but now even I want to punch him in the face." The Chicago Herald says "I laughed, I cried, Guy Pearce got punched in the face." The New York Times says "Oh, oh! Do Nicholas Cage next!" Guy Pearce Gets Punched in the Face: Coming soon.
Typewriter Guy: Fine! I'd still say a sad ending would've been better. Oh, wait; here come those squishy credits! Looks like they'll be sad for the crew off-roll. [segment ends]

Total Recall Me Baby / The Asgardigans [3.17]

[edit]
Man: Look at him. That dumb dog. What do you think he's dreaming about? [dog dreams about tap dancing in gravestone]
Wonder Woman: I don't know why these jets were invisible. That was just bad marketing.
Female Voiceover: [choice selects Emma Stone or Ned Flanders] Our judges say Emma St-- oh. Looks like that wasn't a mustache after all!
Banana Wife: How many times have I told you not to leave your skin on the floor?
Banana: Pfft, peel with it.

The Bourne Leg-a-Turkey / PilGrimm [3.18]

[edit]
Aaron Giblet: [groans] I hate this parade. [segment ends]
Pilgrim: Well, here we go. First off with everything. [underwear falls, people laugh]
Father: Let's eat! [kids chew gum from their turkey, blow gum; pop all everywhere] Somehow, I don't think this happened at the first Thanksgiving.
Nick Burkhardt: The bigger question is, what's he doing in these woods? Let's ask that park ranger. Excuse me; sir, can you... [park ranger becomes a turkey]
Hank Griffin: What the? That man just turned into a turkey!
Nick Burkhardt: We need some answers.

Here Comes the Doom / Brain Purge [3.19]

[edit]
Pied Piper: I don't get it. Normally when I played, the rats are coming right out. Wait a second, this isn't my pipe.
Sonic: [conquering a group of spikes] Ooh, boy... [lands on a spike, dies]
Announcer: Tom and Jury 'cause kids can't stay up for the real shows. Plus, we already did Mouse M.D.
Contestant: Hey, this is... [before he could finish, Agent J zaps him with his neuralyzer] A lovely scent you have here.

Fantastic Four Christmases / Red & White Collar [3.20]

[edit]
The Thing: [the dreidel stops spinning] Gimmel, hooray!
Fat Man: This diet stinks! I haven't lost any weight!
Frosty the Snowman: That's because you haven't completed the final step! Standing in the sun and letting it melt away like extra pounds!
Fat Man: I don't think this is going to work for me because I'm not made of snow.
Frosty the Snowman: Not with that attitude, you're not!
Fat Man: You're not even pretending to listen to me, are you?
Frosty the Snowman: Select now and you two can have sculpted abs like me!
Fat Man: Yeah, that's actually an ice cube tray. Ugh, this diet clearly isn't for humans, is it?
Frosty the Snowman: What's a human?
Fat Man: Well, there's any box down the tubes.
Santa Claus: Well, have you considered...
Peter Burke: Again, no chimney here! It's a bank!
Peter Burke: Oh; come on, White Collar isn't that bad.
Santa Claus: I'm not talking about White Collar. [segment ends]

Hip Hop Hobbit / The Monday Project [3.21]

[edit]
Dad: Well, it's been a month; kids. Looks like Santa isn't coming after all. [Santa falls down the chimney, covered in smoke]
Santa Claus: C- Couldn't you hear me? I was screaming for help in there!
Boy: Uh, do you have our presents?
Santa Claus: Presents? I ate them!
Boy: But I want our laptop!
Santa Claus: Yeah, I ate it! It's been a month, people!
Girl: We made you cookies.
Santa Claus: Huh, well; isn't that great. Here, let me put you on the list here.
Boy: Is that the good list?
Santa Claus: Yep! [eats the paper] Trust me. That went down a lot easier than the computer.
Lunch Room Man: I'll be your friend.
Cauliflower: Um, you're the lunch room guy.
Lunch Room Man: So, you're just a piece of cauliflower.
Cauliflower: [noticing cheese sauce stain on himself] Wait a minute. Is this cheese sauce?
Garfield: That's it! Rampage! [kicks Odie, knocks off plant]
Jon Arbuckle: Hey, my drapes and plant!
[cues a montage of Garfield throwing things and pushing a woman on a bike into the swimming pool]
Jon Arbuckle: Antique's Roadshow?
Garfield: Oh. I thought that was Honey Boo Boo. [sounds of car screeching and crashing]
Jon Arbuckle: My drapes and my other plant!
Jon Arbuckle: I think you're thinking of Annoying Orange.
Garfield: [reads the book, looks at the page to make sure] Oh, so I was. Man, I hate Thursdays. [segment ends]

The Perks of Being a Wallcrawler / Regular Shogun Warriors [3.22]

[edit]
[first lines of the segment]
Charlie: Dear Notebook, tomorrow's the first day of school and I haven't spoke to anyone all summer, but I really want to turn that around. [the book comes to life with a face]
Notebook: How about if you stop listening to a book and gets some real friends, bozo! Come on, computer!
Charlie: Hi, I'm Charlie! [Spider-Man webs him] Hey, what are you doing?
Spider-Man: People don't know this, but I used to be a wallflower just like you. So I'm gonna teach you how to be a cool and confident wall crawler.
Spider-Man: [after hitting Charlie with a chair] Yeah, still not there yet. Still not there.
Spider-Man: [to Charlie during bridge scene] I said swing, not lie on the cement!
Spider-Man: Hey, everybody! These spiders are for Charlie! [jumps up and down, spiders fly everywhere, people screaming and ending the segment]
Voiceover: The Land Before Adventure Time. Mondays just a little bit before Adventure Time.
Sun: You know, I hate being here; folks. Why don't you people hate clouds?
Mega Benson Z: What are you doing?!
Raideen: Nothing.
Mega Benson Z: You two are the worst! All you do is sit around, play video games, and say "dude" too much. Yet somehow, all these boring things completely destroyed the city! [view of the destruction of the town] What happened to you?!

Twilight: Breaking Down / GOllum ON [3.23]

[edit]
Dragon: [as the other dragon breathes fire into the same nose] Smells okay to me, but then again; you just destroyed my nostrils.
Soundtrack Announcer: Aquapella: the tuna you can't get out of your head!
Nyefall Announcer: James Bond will return [a question mark appears] if this guy ever stops talking.
Ryan King: Ah, who am I kidding? [jumps] Geronimo! [burns to death, segment ends]

Life of Rhyme / Here Comes Yogi Boo Boo [3.24]

[edit]
Cat in the Hat: In this box of all things you could wish! You like all these things, you silly old... [finds out the fish is nowhere to be seen] fish? Hey, where'd that fish go?
Piscine: [muffled talking] Fish? What fish?
Writer: Theodore Gei-- you know what, better change your name so you can't be sued. Just call me Dr. Seuss. [segment closes]
Lipstick Parody Man: Lipstuck: buy some today! I think it's just red glue. Here, let me test it out. [puts Lipstuck on it, muffled talking; closing the commercial]
Horror Movie Announcer: Did Anybody Get Mom a Card? 'Cause moms are crazy about that kind of stuff!

Reply All / Randy Savage: 9th Grade Wrestler [3.25]

[edit]
James Bond: [after shooting the falling guy] Uh, hello? Ambulance? Hello? Gosh, this thing doesn't work at all.
Book: Hey, don't you criticize my best friend! [teacher faints]
Lumberjack: Timber! [tree crashes into a direction] Did I kill a spider?

George Washington: Cherry Tree Chopper / Star Wars Earned Stripes [3.26]

[edit]
Benjamin Franklin: Oh, but I'm so hungry!
[cues title card "Benjamin Franklin: Cherry Pie Eater"]
Benjamin Franklin: Yes!
Shark: [to viewers] Never bring a swordfish to a gun fish fight.
Movie Announcer: Bakin': He's one tough cookie!
Stormtrooper: Alright, we need to shoot the power generator so the shield goes down. What you want to do is take your rocket launcher and... [Mr. T. throws the rocket launcher at it] hey, what are you doing? [the generator explodes] How'd you do that?
Mr. T: I threw it hard!
[last lines]
Chef: You know the show's over, right?
Liam Neeson: [punches the chef in the stomach] I know it's over!

Season 4

[edit]

Linkong / Rainbow Dash & Bernstein [4.01]

[edit]
Guy in Crowd: How else are kids going to be interested in the movie about a dead president?
Man in Tent: Oh. I thought Fortune Yeller was just a typo.
Guy in Hospital: Good news, it's a boy!
Patient: A boy? Yahoo!
Guy in Hospital: Oh, sorry. I was talking to him.
Patient: So what does he have?
Guy in Hospital: The flu. You're in the wrong room.
Patient: Oh, man; I'd never get a baby.

Pokémonsters, Inc. / Bane & Kate [4.2]

[edit]
Wrestling Announcer: The M&MA Championship: You have to be nuts to do it!
Announcer: Awkward moments never in danger of becoming extinct.
British Man: [after reading the note the treasure was revealed to be the same spot] What? Curse you, Lean John Silver; the Physically Fit Pirate!
[last lines]
Announcer: [sing-song-y] Kristen Stewart...
Kristen Stewart: [on voicemail] Stop calling me!

Wreck It Gandalph / The Big Bird Theory [4.3]

[edit]
Man in Movie Theater: I knew this movie was in 3D!
Patron: We're not even wearing glasses!
Wreck-it-Ralph: I'm gonna wreck it! [stone collapses on creatures]
Man in Movie Theater: What's going on here?
Wolf: [looking in the mirror] I've been undercover so long, I forgot I was a wolf.
Sheep Barber: Please don't eat me!
Wolf: Eat you? Yuck! Get out of here! [sheep barber flees off] Dang it, I'm in way too deep.
Pinball Man: I hate my commune!
Five: Hey, we're exhausted from hanging up here all day. Can we get down now?
Big Bird: That's enough out of you! Do you understand me?
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I guess we finally got our work cut out for us.
Ernie: Says you. No way, we ain't going back to that crazy bird.

Les the Miz / The Lex Factor [4.4]

[edit]
Kid in Playground Slide: Come on! Did you not see the sign?
Action Man: There, I destroyed the intelligent broadcast Whitney.
Announcer: Well this has been Real Life Heroes.

Papa / 1600 Finn [4.05]

[edit]
Movie Announcer: This summer, you'll scream until you're blue in the face! I think it was a parody of Mama.
Gargamel: Not enough Gargamel!
Movie Announcer: Too much Gargamel.
Gargamel: Fine. I know what I'm not wanted.
Snake: [finds out the girl disguise falls off from his tail] Alright, who's the wise guy that tricked me into dating my own tail? [other snakes laugh at him] Real funny. I'm not paying for this meal, you know?
Jake: I think he's carrying your stepmom right now.
Finn: I'm not even gonna look.
Jake: Now he's coming back to freeze your dad.
Finn: I'm sure it's just some misunderstanding/
Jake: Now he's kicking the White House with his foot.
Finn: I don't want to hear that.
Jake: [as the spaceship explodes the White House] And now the White House is blown up by related aliens.

G.I.E.I. Joe / Dog with a Captain's Log [4.06]

[edit]
Narrator: And they all became toilet paper. The end.
Space Commentator: All right, Dave. How hot is the sun?
Dave: [voice only] It's uh, hot. Really hot. I mean, my gosh; it's so... [explodes, dies]
Space Commentator: Dave? Dave?
Stan the Dog: Well, don't look at me. I'm just a dog. Woof! [people scream, ship sucks into a black hole; closing the segment]

"S" Cape from Planet Earth / The X-Mentalist [4.07]

[edit]
Writer: Thanks a lot, Superman! I ruined another clip-on!
Duck: This bread is stale!
Old Man: Oh, yeah. That's why I'm feeding it to ducks.
Wolverine: [in Law & Claw] Look, bub; in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: right claws and left claws.

POblivion / Umbrellamentary [4.8]

[edit]
Woman: "Jimmy was he"? What does that mean?
Caveman: Still nothing?
Cave Guy: Not yet?
Caveman: [groans] I took this job too early.

Jaws the Great and Powerful / Old Spock's Off Their Spockers [4.09]

[edit]
Sports Announcer: Golf: If only it were like that.
Candy Parody Voiceover: Owls: don't be fooled by their wisdom.

Jacks the Giant Slayers / The Most Beautiful Voice [4.10]

[edit]
Jack Frost: [crushed by a blue shoe due to the title "Rise of the Guardians II"] Forget the movie! Someone get this shoe off me!
Female Voiceover: Crate & Arrow: We've got crates and arrows, but the crates are holding the arrows. We don't sell them, so stop asking.
Usher: My chair's broken! Usher want to see! Usher want to see!
Game Show Host: And we have a winner!
Usher: Usher don't like-y! [flies, attacks Vanessa]
[last lines]
Jack Frost: Seriously? No one's gonna help me?

The Great Batsby / Big Time Gold Rush [4.11]

[edit]
Farmer: [reveals the liquid was just butter] Hey, that's not water! It's butter!
Announcer: The Bungee Bunk: ignore the warnings.
Female Voiceover: Money Diapers: another terrible product from Bad Ideas, Inc.

First White House Down / McDuck Dynasty [4.12]

[edit]
Stage Man: [as other rockets scare the audience] Oh, boy. You guys are not gonna believe what I did here.
Bugs Bunny: Ain't I a stinker. [segment closes]

After Bert / Downton Shaggy [4.13]

[edit]
News Anchor: Hello? Is anyone listening to these jokes? Hello?
Bert: [to Ernie, focusing the seatbelts] Look, Ernie! My seatbelt is "open", now it's "closed". "Open", now it's "closed".
Will Smith: Will you two stay still?
Bert: This is "up", and this is "down". This is "up" and this is... [gets sucked into space]
Will Smith: Correction. Make that two confirmed survivors.
[a giant evil Big Bird scares Ernie]
Will Smith: Dude, you're going the wrong way!
Girl: [sees the dog on the ice cream cone] Good thing he skipped the peanuts.
Carnival Contestant: Hey, fella! Why don't you come over and test your strength?
Fat Man: Uh, okay! [grabs a mallet] Bye! [lifts the seesaw, little boy is thrown in air and never comes back]
Carnival Contestant: Actually, this is the "Test Your Strength" machine. That was my son's teeter-totter.
[last lines]
Carnival Contestant: Gonna be in big trouble with the wife, that's for sure.

Lone Rango / Doctor Who's Line is it Anyway? [4.14]

[edit]
Supermarket Guy: The Invisibility Shop: Our prices are so low, they're invisible! No, they're not really. We list them.
E.T.: E.T. phone home...oh, thank you. [to cell phone] Hey, you left me on Earth. Come back. Also, [sees the burglars from Home Alone] the Earth is being robbed. Call 911.
Groom: [sees the bouquet as a boomerang] Oh, no! Boomerang bouquet!
Quilt: This trial was doomed from the start.
[final lines]
E.T.: [dial tone] Hello? Hello?

Iron Bland 3 / Monsters Community [4.15]

[edit]
Tony Stark: Still working out some of the bugs. I said "iron", not "tin"!
Announcer: The Disposable Car, you'll never worry about parking again!
Man: [with bags of vinyl records, wondering where his car should be] Wait. How do I get home?
Crash Announcer: It's Crash!
Mike: You're hired!
Crash Announcer: No, Mike; that's...never mind.
Abed: Cool. I get to be in a MAD sketch. Cool, cool, cool.
[last lines]
Mike Wazowski: Oh, very funny. End credits.
Sullivan: Uh, I don't think those are transferrable.
Abed: Oh, then I can't help you.

Star Blecch Into Dumbness / Stark Tank [4.16]

[edit]
Jimmy: Oh, wow! I just had the craziest dream that I was skiing!
Announcer: The Water Bunkbeds. It's a work in progress.
Guy: Oh, wow. Nice scarf.
Scarfed Man: I'm not wearing a scarf. [reveals to be a snake]
Both: [scream] Scarf snake!
Wonka: Oh, har har, a golden parking ticket. Very funny!

The Flash & the Furious / Saved by Adele [4.17]

[edit]
Female Voiceover: Ducks: all they really need is money.
Penguin Bouncer: Sorry. Black tie only.
Penguin: Dang it, the one thing I dressed down!

Lukewarm Bodies / Does Someone Have to GOa? [4.18]

[edit]
Announcer: Flop flips! They're just as...oh, what's the point?
Movie Parody Announcer: The Hands Free Detective. He's kind of a jerk, really.

Pacific Ring / Horton Hears a Whodunnit! [4.19]

[edit]
Female Voiceover: Dads, on top of things since 2004.
Wife: You're eating them backwards, you dummy.
Horton: My name is Horton. Oh, and someone murdered a Who. [all people scream, mutes a man screaming with his trunk] That's better.
Horton: [the floor collapses] You think it's too late to get on The Voice? [segment closes]

World War ZZZ / SHAZAM! & Cat [4.20]

[edit]
Gerald: [noticing the children fell asleep] Huh. One more zombie movie's not gonna hurt anybody.
Host: [as the horse rides on a helicopter and crashes] Nope!
Movie Announcer: Man of Surreal. Wow, that was nuts!
Ice Man: Oh, man, my computer froze! [other guy destroys with an ax] Uh, I meant I got one of those spinning color balls.
Ax Man: Oh! Sorry.
Miranda Cosgrove: [as a host in the new show "Definitely Alive with Dice" to a dead contestant with flies surrounding it] Wow, and they said I was stoned. Seriously, though; is he okay?

Doraline / Monster Mashville [4.21]

[edit]
Werewolf: Wow! It's tough out there for a werewolf.
Announcer: Halloweendex. It's the spray of the dead!

MAD of Steel / Sanjay and Krang / Worst Show Ever (MAD's 100th Episode Special) [4.22]

[edit]
Citizen: Zowie! Did you have an accident?
Tree Man: Yes, I had an accident!
Citizen: For goodness sake, change your pants!
Mike: Wonder what will happen if I press "End"?
People: No!
Announcer: Bad Idea #100: Juice boxing gloves.
[cues boxing match]
Boxer: Hey, you got juice all over me!
Spider-Man: Look out! It's Sandman! [stomps on a sand sculpture by mistake] Huh, guess that was just a sand sculpture. Nice job, kids.

Dullverine / Under the Dumb [4.23]

[edit]
Announcer: Hood-ini the Hipster Magician, 'cause he doesn't get up before noon and he parties all night.
Homer Simpson: Hello, has it been done? It was a whole prison from The Simpsons Movie!
Bart Simpson: [chuckles] That'll teach him to steal a Simpsons' butt! [segment ends]

Still Hungry Games / Agents of S.M.U.R.F. [4.24]

[edit]
Announcer: Arrowbics: If you're not completely satisfied, then I'm sorry I stranded you on an island.
Gargamel: It's not happening! [the Avengers all join in, segment closes]

Alfred's Game / We Are X-Men [4.25]

[edit]
Sketch Stork: Eight more seconds? Uh, okay...hey, you guys wanna hear Alfred's speech? So; Alfred, how do you feel to be in the sketch? [segment closes]
Caveman: Sorry. I thought glass could put out fire.
Police Officer: [pulls over the Road Runner] Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Road Runner: Meep meep!
Police Officer: Yeah, that's not a number. [handcuffs the Road Runner] You're coming with me. [sees Wile E. Coyote on a rocket and stops him] Stop it! You can't eat him. He's in custody. Sheesh. Also, there's no way that rocket is street legal. [handcuffs Wile E. Coyote] You're coming with me, too.
Dad: Oh, no! My brother's been turned into a toad!
Narrator: Well, I guess I could say he want to get into basketball; so, really; I guess, uh...no. Never mind. There's no good way to spend this. [segment closes]
[last lines of the series]
Goldfish: I just call dibs on these fish flakes.
[edit]
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