South Park/Season 16
South Park (1997-present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.
Reverse Cowgirl [16.1]
Cash for Gold [16.2]
Faith Hilling [16.3]
- Cartman: Cartman's Passover holiday special. starring... The Jewpacabra!!!!!!!!!
- Cartman: Ugh... what!?!?!? [stands up] What's going on?!?
- Man 1: The plagues!!!!!!!!! The plagues are upon us!!!!!!!!!! Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(it starts to rain frogs. Cartman runs away)
- Cartman: It's raining frogggggsss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [finds Kyle, who is climbing to the roof of his house on a ladder] Kyle! Kyle, my Hebrew friend! Did you see that it's raining frogs!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
- Kyle: [bangs a nail into a piece of wood] Yes! It's because the Pharaoh won't give the Hebrews what we want! God is angry.
- Cartman: So God makes it rain frogs????? That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle.
- Kyle: That's how God is! And if Pharaoh doesn't give us what we want, next he's gonna kill all Egyptian first born boys!
- Cartman: Wha- Okay, look, I'll talk to the Pharaoh and see if he'll change his mind.
- Kyle: It doesn't matter. Because God is going to harden the Pharaoh's heart!
- Cartman: What does that mean?
- Kyle: It means Jehovah is going to use his powers to keep the Pharaoh from letting us go.
- Cartman: Well that doesn't seem very fair, Kyle. I mean, if God is going to make Pharaoh say no, then why would he punish him for saying no?
- Kyle: That's just how God is.
- Cartman: You're wrong, Kyle! God is not a dick!
[Kyle gets angry]
- Cartman: Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! [Sheila and Gerald apply the lamb's blood to their door. Kyle watches them] Kyle, why?!?!?!?!? What are you doing?!?!?!?!
- Kyle: This is what God told us to do!!!!
- Cartman: No, Kyle!!! I don't believe you!!!!!!
- Kyle: You'll see!!! [Cartman runs away but realizes other families are also doing it. He runs though the corpses of lambs]
- Cartman: Noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [goes inside somewhere, but sees two kids with bloody eyes]
- Kid 1: What's happening to us????? [both of the kids puke blood and fall over]
- Cartman: Noooooo!!!!!
[runs past a mom and her child]
- Child Mom: Don't let God kill me!!! [his head explodes and his mom screams]
- Cartman: Noooo!!!!!
[he is confronted by a man]
- Man 2: [holds out a flat sandwich] Care for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!?!?!
- Cartman: No!!!! The bread's all flat!!!! Nooo!!!!!! [shoves the bread down and keeps running] Noooooo!!!!!! [the Pharaoh has kneeled down. All children around him have their heads explode. Screaming and shouting can be heard in the background]
- Pharaoh: Son!!!!!!! We were wrong!!!!! I was wrong!!!!!!!!
- Cartman: We were wrong!!!! I'm sorry God I'll be Jewish I promise!!! Please don't kill me!!!! Don't kill me!!!!! Noooo!!!!!
[his head explodes, and the Pharaoh cries in despair] [Cartman is shown in reality again. He is in the park, unconscious.]
- Cartman: [sleeptalking] No!! No!!!! The bread is all flat!!!! No!!!!!!!!
- Julien: (narrating) But then the unexpected happened.
Cartman Finds Love [16.7]
- Stephen: And you can just sit here in your room and think about what you've done! [Butters is on his bed, looking chastened] Just because people try and make football a little safer by changing a kickoff rule doesn't mean YOU need to take it to "Oh, why don't we just drink each other's cum?"! Sarcasm like that is homophobic, chauvinistic, and completely lacking in maturity! Any questions?!
- Butters: What's sarcasm and what's cum?
- Stephen: We'll talk about that when you're older.
- Randy: Come on, everybody, let's work on that kick off change and get back to some football.
Raising the Bar [16.9]
Going Native [16.11]
- Stan: Butters?
- Butters: Leave me alone!
- Stan: Butters, come out here.
- Butters: Get out of here, all of ya! [Stan turns to the other boys and shrugs]
- Kyle: Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes! Now whatever your problem is, you just-
- Butters: You just think you know everything, don't you Kyle?! Every little thing you gotta shoot your mouth off like you're the frickin' expert! Well you don't know everything because your best friend is a kid who thinks the entire planet revolves around him and he only cares about HIS image! You guys think Cartman is the only selfish piece of crap in this school? You're all fake and stuck up [moves over to Jimmy], and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy that his jokes aren't funny! [moves over to Kenny] The only kid here with any sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have your heads up your butts! [runs back into the restroom and locks himself in. The other boys are stunned and silent]
- Cartman: Well. Apparently, Kenny is Butters' best friend. You guys gonna make out, Kenny? [Kenny flashes an angry look]
- Butters: And that's another thing! You're always trivializing everything I say by getting the last word! Well, you're not getting the last word this time! [runs back into the boys restroom and locks himself in]
- Cartman: ...Wow.
- Butters: Double wow!
A Nightmare on Face Time [16.12]
A Scause for Applause [16.13]
Obama Wins! [16.14]
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