South Park/Season 20
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Fort Collins [20.06]
- Heidi: To try and prove who the troll was, I started to for patterns in how students used emojis; then I crossed-referenced that with the troll's writing. I call it "emoji analysis". People can hide behind a fake name, but the way they use emojis gives them away.
- Kyle:So somebody, like Heidi, could use it to see your entire Internet history. Everything you ever said and did on the Internet, even before you were together.
- Cartman: [a look of fear crosses his face] Well, Heidi doesn't actually use the Internet. We've sworn off that stuff, so it's kewl.
- Kyle: Right, but somebody, like me, could look up your entire Internet history, print it out, and give it to Heidi. I would imagine there's some things you've done or said on the Internet you wouldn't want Heidi to know about.
- Dick: If someone Photoshopped a dick in your wife's mouth, would you just think it was funny?
- GeraldYou mean my [shows his phone to Dick with image of Sheila Photoshopped] fucking screensaver.
- Dick: It's true. You're just an asshole. I thought you were the ultimate rebel. I actually looked up to you and you're nothing but a super... dick.
- Gerald: And what are [points at Dick] you, Dildo Shwaggins? Huh? You think you're a fucking political activist hauled up in your shitty little midget condo. You're nothing but a pissed off little giant, lashing out at everyone because you can't get laid!
- News Reporter: Once again, if you live in the city of Fort Collins, there is a chance that all your emails and your entire Internet history has been made accessible to the public.
- MLKKK: [checks his neighbor who is seen running out of the house screaming]
- Fort Collins Citizen 1: [exits the house] Who the fuck are these emails to, and what the, what the fuck is MarriedButHorny.com?! [throws the Mac at her husband]
- MLKKK: [sees his phone and picks it up with caution] Hello?
- Unknown Caller: I know where you live now you son-a bitch.
- MLKKK: [throws his phone on his desk and runs away to his car where he drives]
- Fort Collins Citizen 2: I've been hacked! Help me I've been hacked!
- Tom:A historic election, and all the votes are in. Except of course in the city of Fort Collins, Colorado. It's been several days now since Fort Collins was hacked. Everyone's e-mails and Internet history became accessible to the public after being targeted by the Danish Trolltrace program. According to our eye in the sky, their votes will not be tallied anytime soon.
- Eye in the sky: It's complete bedlam inside the city limits, Chris. [traffic accidents at every intersection, a broken fire hydrant spewing a geyser of water, three giraffes running through the streets...] Since the city was hacked there have been murder, suicide, and complete lack of civility. We also understand that nearly everyone within Fort Collins who was married is now divorced. Back to you, Tom.
- Tom: This barricade behind me was put up not only to make sure nobody goes into Fort Collins, but also to make sure nobody gets out, since there's no telling whose Internet histories they've seen
- Dangling Man: [at the top of the barricade] Please! [Tom glances at him and the camera zooms in] My wife is so pissed at me! [a bullet strikes him from the air and he falls to his death several stories down.] Guh!