South Park/Season 20
Jump to navigation Jump to search
South Park (1997-) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.
Fort Collins [20.06]
- Kyle: So somebody, like Heidi, could use it to see your entire Internet history. Everything you ever said and did on the Internet, even before you were together.
- Cartman: [a look of fear crosses his face] Well, Heidi doesn't actually use the Internet. We've sworn off that stuff, so it's kewl.
- Kyle: Right, but somebody, like me, could look up your entire Internet history, print it out, and give it to Heidi. I would imagine there's some things you've done or said on the Internet you wouldn't want Heidi to know about.
- Dick: If someone Photoshopped a dick in your wife's mouth, would you just think it was funny?
- GeraldYou mean my [shows his phone to Dick with image of Sheila Photoshopped] fucking screensaver.
- Dick: It's true. You're just an asshole. I thought you were the ultimate rebel. I actually looked up to you and you're nothing but a super... dick.
- Gerald: And what are [points at Dick] you, Dildo Shwaggins? Huh? You think you're a fucking political activist hauled up in your shitty little midget condo. You're nothing but a pissed off little giant, lashing out at everyone because you can't get laid!
- Tom: A historic election, and all the votes are in. Except of course in the city of Fort Collins, Colorado. It's been several days now since Fort Collins was hacked. Everyone's e-mails and Internet history became accessible to the public after being targeted by the Danish Trolltrace program. According to our eye in the sky, their votes will not be tallied anytime soon.
- Eye in the sky: It's complete bedlam inside the city limits, Chris. [traffic accidents at every intersection, a broken fire hydrant spewing a geyser of water, three giraffes running through the streets...] Since the city was hacked there have been murder, suicide, and complete lack of civility. We also understand that nearly everyone within Fort Collins who was married is now divorced. Back to you, Tom.
- Tom: This barricade behind me was put up not only to make sure nobody goes into Fort Collins, but also to make sure nobody gets out, since there's no telling whose Internet histories they've seen
- Dangling Man: [at the top of the barricade] Please! [Tom glances at him and the camera zooms in] My wife is so pissed at me! [a bullet strikes him from the air and he falls to his death several stories down.] Guh!