Total Drama Action
- 1 Monster Cash
- 2 Alien Resurr-eggtion
- 3 Riot On Set
- 4 Beach Blanket Bogus
- 5 The Chefshank Redemption
- 6 One Flu Over The Cuckoos
- 7 The Sand Witch Project
- 8 Masters of Disasters
- 9 Full Metal Drama
- 10 TDA Aftermath: Forgive and For-Gwen
- 11 Ocean's Eight - Or Nine
- 12 One Million Bucks B.C.
- 13 Million Dollar Babies
- 14 Dial M for Merger
- 15 Super Hero-ld
- 16 Aftermath 3: Owen or Lose
- 17 The Princess Pride
- 18 Get a Clue
- 19 Rock 'N Rule
- 20 Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen
- 21 2008: A Space Owen
- 22 Top Dog
- 23 Mutiny on the Soundstage
- 24 Aftermath 4: Who Wants To Pick A Millionaire?
- 25 See Also
- 26 External links
- Owen: Izzy, duck! Duck!
- Izzy: Goose! Weee! Do it again!
- Duncan: How did you manage to escape?
- Izzy: The monster and I had a romantic date. He doesn't take "no" for an answer. Pretty crazy, I can't even tell you guys.
- Owen: (in Confession Booth) My mom says I eat when I'm upset. And happy. And tired. Not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semi-conscious, avuncular... (A large, bushy mustache appears on his face and he laughs) ...avuncular.
- Duncan: Uh, I don't think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind.
- Owen: Nope, call 911.
- Lindsay: North is nice, but east is least...west is best!
- Izzy: If I can handle hand to paw combat with a polar bear, I can handle a bald, emotionally withdrawn cook in a Halloween costume.
- Chef Hatchet: Who are you calling a cook!?
- Chef Hatchet: I thought you were dead.
- Izzy: Yeah. I get that a lot.
Riot On Set
- Heather: I say we work relay style and pass the equipment up.
- Gwen: If you say it, we're not doing it.
- Heather: But it's a good idea!
- Harold: I'm totally with you. Write down all your good ideas, and we can bring them up at the next team meeting. I'll second you. Cool?
- Heather: Go jump in a lake, trout lips.
- Trent: Come on, lucky necklace. Poppa Trent needs you.
- Izzy: Wow, I thought I was crazy! You're talking to jewelry?
- Trent: You are crazy. I'm just trying to help our team win.
- Izzy: Hey, that's what I'm trying to do, too! If you've got some lucky earrings, I'd be glad to have a little chat with them!
- Lindsay: Let's get Tyler to do it!
- Killer Grips: He's not here any more!
- Lindsay: Oh, right. Bummer.
- Beth: Owen, Owen, he's our guy! If he can't do it, uh... he's not our guy!
- Heather: Just stand there and look pretty, okay, pretty boy?
- Duncan: Don't call me pretty. The last guy who called me pretty ended up looking a lot less pretty.
- Gwen: You are not pretty, okay, Duncan? You're hot, okay? You look hot, sexy, stud-like.
- Duncan: That's better.
Beach Blanket Bogus
- Lindsay: Yay! Go Justin!
- Beth: Yeah, go!
- Lindsay: Copycat!
- Beth: Tanorexic! (gasps) Sorry. Friendship bracelet?
The Chefshank Redemption
- (Owen's attempting to reach the trailer's air duct)
- Harold: Owen, you'll never fit.
- Owen: I can try my best.
- Harold: It's not about trying. It's just a scientific fact.
One Flu Over The Cuckoos
- Justin: Hey, Beth, do I squint when I read?
- Beth: I don't know. Your shirt's distracting me. Unless you... (Justin takes off his shirt) I'll just read the book to you, spare your beautiful eyes.
- Heather: (Writing her will) To my mother, I leave you all of my many awards and trophies. To my brothers and sisters, I leave you...nothing. Earn it yourselves, you lazy slackers!
- Izzy: Oh my gosh, first year med school syndrome! Too much study and too little sleep can make you think you've got every disease in the book!
The Sand Witch Project
- Izzy: Look at my scary face!
- Owen: That's not scary, that's adorable! (Izzy glares at him) That is a scary face.
- Lindsay: (Confessional on trying to lead) Wow, can I just say how delicious that felt? It was almost as good as being pretty! Almost.
- DJ: I need to see Chef. (Heather slaps him)
- Leshawna: Heather!
- Heather: What? He's still talking crazy.
- Duncan: Once, I gave a dozen five-year-olds seizures.
- Leshawna: And respect gone.
- Duncan: And papa Duncan wants to win and go to bed! So....
Masters of Disasters
- Beth: I wish my boyfriend was here! He's a registered lifeguard!
- Izzy: That's true. It would be great if he was here. You're right. You know what would be better?
- Beth: What?
- Izzy: If he existed in the first place!
- Izzy: I'm surrounded by loons!
Full Metal Drama
- Lindsay: From now on, I'd like to be called 'Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness', okay?
- Justin: Me, not cute? Oh, I'll tell you who's not cute. Blind, crazy people named Izzy!
- Duncan: I've always wanted to be a Marine! They're rough, tough, they wear rad boots, and they say HOO-AH! No clue what that means, but it sounds so cool! HOO-AH!
- Explosivo: 3... 2... 1... BOOM-BOOM! (Explosivo presses the plunger, and nothing happens.)
- Chris: Well, folks, it looks like we're experiencing technical diff- (explosion)
TDA Aftermath: Forgive and For-Gwen
- Gordon: Ahoy, mates.
- Geoff: Ello, ol' chap.
- Gordon: I'm from London, Ontario, and I wanna be a chef! I'm making DJ sandwiches! But there's some stupid (censored) ingredient I can't (censored) figure out! (censored)!
- Gwen: Duncan didn't vote me off.
- Courtney: Only because you had your goth girl hooks into him!
- Gwen: Courtney, we're just friends! Please tell her, Trent.
- Gwen: We're just-
- Geoff: (Pointing to the anvil) Watch what you say!
- Gwen: Friends.
(The anvil stays where it is, proving that she's telling the truth)
- Courtney: I am so calling my lawyer!
Ocean's Eight - Or Nine
- Duncan: (Confession Booth) The H-bombs, Harold and Heather, were so busy finding out who's the biggest dweeb, that they totally forgot I'm an experienced criminal! Frankly, that's a little insulting.
- Courtney: Those Total Drama dirtbags have some nerve making ME second place! They will definitely be hearing from my lawyers...again.
One Million Bucks B.C.
- Courtney: Hey, girls. (everyone glares at her) Isn't anyone glad to see me?
- Heather: (creepily) Great to have your hair...here! It's great to have you here, Courtney!
- Duncan: Our spoilt princess didn't waste any time hooking herself up.
- Courtney: And you didn't waste any time hooking up with Gwen after I left.
- Heather:: (in confessional make-up room) I got some! Courtney's hair, soon it will be mine, all mine! (starts laughing like a maniac) What? I'm not crazy, I'm just bald!
- Duncan: (Confessional) I did not hook up with Gwen. Having Courtney back reminds me how much she drives me crazy. And how much she drives me crazy.
- Courtney:(in confessional make-up room) Sure, Duncan has this primal animal magnetism, but he also wants to make me hit him where it hurts. (yelling) (hits Duncan with bone in the crotch)
- Duncan:: (in confessional make-up room) EEEE! Why do they always go for the kiwis? WHY?!!!!
- Duncan:: (Groans loudly, falls into tar pit)
- Heather: (Confessional. on the reward) I've got something better...Courtney's hair! (An intern tries to take the hair, but not before Heather puts up a fight) No, you can't have it! It's mine! Okay, it was Courtney's, but I took it, which makes it mine!
Million Dollar Babies
- Harold: Ooh! Ooh! I got it! Let's cheer for Norbert Swindlow!
- Heather: Who?
- Harold: The inventor of the pom-pom? Duh.
- Heather: I say we cheer for me.
- Leshawna: You?
- Duncan: I'd rather cheer for my school principal, my mother, Leshawna.
(Duncan finds baby items underneath the ball pit.)
- Duncan: What is this under, a daycare center? (he pulls out a little kid.)
- Little Kid: Mama?
- Duncan: (Confessional) I don't know, the kid called me Mama and it threw me off my A-game. (Offscreen laughing) What, am I funny to you? Let me come over there so you can laugh to my face.
- Justin: We gotta push spiced up chef like he's a football dummy?
- Chef: DON'T CALL ME A DUMMY.
- Heather: I'm not swapping sweat with an oversized jalapeno.
- LeShawna: You're taking it for the team! NOW GET YOUR SKINNY BEHIND OUT THERE AND PUSH THAT DUMMY!
- Chef: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE 'DUMMY' THING?!
- Leshawna: (As her team's cheer) Courtney, Courtney, she's my pal, she loves her PDA, she's an organized gal! Lindsay and Justin might be dumb, but I'd be so proud if they called me their chum! Heather, Heather, queen of mean, she's got a nice scalp for a groovin' teen! Duncan and Beth, they're quite a pair, he's tough, she's goofy, but they both got flair! And Harold's the best, he's quite a guy, he's goofy and scrawny but he's got my eye!
Dial M for Merger
- Lindsay: Door, it's me, Lindsay! Remember, from this morning?
- Courtney: Door, meet doorknob.
- Courtney: (in confessional) And that's the only million LeShawna would ever see. My lawyers are working on it right now.
- Justin: (Trying to calm Beth) Just focus on my calming beauty and soothing complexion. (Beth looks at him blankly, then bursts into tears) Oh, I'm hideous!
- Justin: Okay, brain, it's all up to you. I know you haven't had much exercise in the last...sixteen years, give or take, but you can do this!
- Justin: Mirror, mirror in my hand, who is the smartest one of all?
- Leshawna: You're willing to bargain with our lives?
- Courtney: Um, duh. And the offers better be good.
- Lindsay: I'm Wonder Woman!
- Courtney: Wonder Woman already exists, and she doesn't even look like that!
- Chris: Hang on. I'm liking the style. What's your superpower?
- Lindsay: Duh! I wonder a lot. Oh, and I have an invisible jet right here! Or did I leave it over there?
(After Courtney insulted Lindsay as Wonder Woman)
- Lindsay: Courtney just stepped on my invisible jet!
- Chris: Courtney, minus two points for stepping on Lindsay's jet.
- Courtney: What?
- Harold: Can I have a ride?
- Lindsay: Sure! Who wants a ride in my invisible jet?
- Beth: (Confessional) I don't know if Chris gets that our superpowers are fake. I mean, I can't really talk to plants. (Talks to pot plant) Hi, what's your name? (A leaf falls off)
- Harold: There is no way I am voting off LeShawna. We're supposed to have an alliance with her. Duncan, we should vote you off for treason.
- Duncan: Pals before gals, Harold? We're outnumbered, and if you don't do anything I say, I'll tell LeShawna that you pick your nose in your sleep.
- Harold: You do have circumstantial evidence at best.
- Duncan: Harold is about to experience a painful life lesson. [Duncan punches Harold]
- Harold: Ow!
- Chris: Even I saw that one coming. Two points.
- Beth: Pssst! Harold! We have to get rid of Duncan!
- Harold: Tell me something I don't know.
- Beth: My boyfriend Brady has two dogs named Steve.
Aftermath 3: Owen or Lose
- Geoff: Bridgette thinks we need to bring more insanity to the show. (Bridgette glares at him) I mean profanity. (Bridgette punches him) Okay, okay, more humanity. She thinks I've gone way too over the top. But then, so have our ratings!
- Geoff: Heather, do you think Courtney's a worthy competitor?
- Heather: No. (gets electric shock)
- Geoff: Do you think Lindsay's as dumb as she looks?
- Heather: Yes. (gets electric shock)
- Geoff: Do you think Beth could be a threat?
- Heather: Beth? Absolutely not! (gets electric shock)
- Leshawna: Truth is I like Harold! A lot. Sure, there's a part of me that can't resist those little man biceps of his - who could? But we're friends, which is how we're keeping it.
The Princess Pride
- Harold: (Buying the Princess Courtney CD) I'm going to listen to this beautiful love song and think of Leshawna. (Cut to Harold in the confessional, singing) My prince will buy me lots of hot dogs...my prince will love ponies too... (Recieves note) It's from Leshawna! "Yo Harold, if you play that skinny rich girl's song and think about me, I'll have to kill you."
- Justin: Courtney? Beth? Lindsay?
- Lindsay: Princess Beth is so cute.
- Justin: Is no one even going to miss me?
- Duncan: Chao.
- Harold: See you in the funny papers. Farewell. Auf Wiedersein. Don't let the door hit you in the...
- Justin: Okay, stop! I'm going, but you'll regret it. With me gone, things have started to become 80% less handsome. (bumps head) Ow! Alright, 79!
- Courtney: (Blowing kisses to male competitors before they go on challenge) Sir Harold, mwah! Sir Justin, mwah! Duncan, mwah.
- Duncan: (To Justin) You Princess-stealing slimeball!
Get a Clue
- Lindsay: (Annoyed when Courtney undermines her contributions) I was the one who said Chris was giving us hints!
- Beth: (Soothingly) You did, sweetie.
- Courtney: What's my prize!?
- Chris: [British Accent] I don't recall having mentioned any sort of prize... [Normal Voice] but thanks for releasing me it was getting stuffy in here.
- Courtney: Your not smoking!?
- Chris: What! Oh no! Of course not! (swallows his pipe)
- Courtney: Ew.
- Chris: What? It's chewing tobacco!
- Harold, Lindsay, and Beth: Ew!
- Chris: Nah! Just kidding, it's black licorice.
- Courtney, Duncan, Harold, Lindsay, and Beth: Ew!!
- Chris: Yeah you're right; this stuff's disgusting.
- Courtney: I am going to get a prize I promise you that.
- Chris: It's not prize time yet.
- Courtney: Make it prize time!
- Chris: I'm trying to do my job here.
- Courtney: Maybe I should get my lawyers to do their job.
- Chris: Moving on...
- Courtney: I want a prize. I want a prize! I WANT A PRIZE!
- Beth: Look, I'm obviously a little old for make believe. But Courtney would not have been someone I invited over to my pretty pretend palace. She'd always want to be the daddy, the doctor and the prime minister of all my dolls, and they won't like that one bit! I mean, they wouldn't. If I still played with them. Which I don't.
Rock 'N Rule
(After Duncan wins the first challenge)
- Duncan: Watch and learn, baby doll. Maybe one day you'll be able to rock as hard as me.
- Courtney: (Hits him with her guitar) That hard enough, baby doll?
- Owen: (he sees Lindsay jumping on the bed in the final challenge.) Oooh, that looks like fun! (Owen then cannonballs onto the bed, nearly crushing Lindsay in the process.)
- Lindsay: (She is in the confessional, after Owen lands on her trying to jump on the bed. She is fine, but disheveled.) THAT WAS SO TERRIFYING! I saw my life flash before my eyes! It looked a lot like Owen's butt.
Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen
- Owen: (after challenge, trying soup made of 7 deadliest fish being served.) Ooh, tastes like... poisonous... (his throat swells up.) BLOWFISH. (faints)
2008: A Space Owen
- Courtney: Duncan, can I have your pillow? Mine floated off somewhere.
- Duncan: No can do, babe. I already gave it to Scruffy.
- Duncan: This will teach you to mess with my Scruffy.
- Harold: Bye bye, traitor.
- Owen: Harold's on to me, I know it.
- Beth: The girl alliance is over!
- Courtney: Back off! Can't you see this is called secret voting?
- Harold: I, too, love a catfight, but only between actual cats wearing tiny boxing gloves.
- Duncan: Chill, Owen, I spent the night in Courtney's trailer.
- Owen: Really? What did you two do all night? Come on, come on!
- Duncan: Down boy! We talked. About relationship stuff, mostly. (Takes out contract)
- Owen: Dude, Courtney gave you...HOMEWORK.
- Duncan: Hey, babe.
- Courtney: Duncan, I thought we agreed that only I would engage in the use of pet names. It's right there on page three.
- Beth: Section five.
- Courtney: Quit playing around with that glorified lizard and get memorizing! What's more important, winning some stupid challenge...or making me happy?
- Duncan: (Confessional) Hey, I like Courtney, really, I do. But I also like a million dollars. Best case scenario, I win the money and the girl, but when it comes down to it, I need the money more than I need some high-maintenance chick with a superiority complex.
- Chris: Courtney, you seem to be short one animal buddy.
- Courtney: It...uh...it couldn't make it! Sashimi, anyone?
- Beth: (To raccoons) It's like you're our equals! (Raccoons get angry) I mean, you're superior!
- Courtney: (Trying to teach a shark to cheer) Okay, ready? F-I-S-H-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you fishy, uh-huh, you fishy! (Duncan watches, clearly enjoying it) Come on, get your fins up, fins up, come on get your fins up! Get your fins up!
- Owen: Uh, Chris? I think you forgot to give me my Gilded Chris Award.
- Chris: Sorry Owen, you've been fired.
- Owen: What? Whhhyyy?
- Chris: What's the point of having a spy when you've already been spied?
Mutiny on the Soundstage
- Beth: I'm everyone's friend! I like everyone, they like me!
- Beth: (When she finds out Chris is upset about Chef leaving) Have you thought about being nice? Works for me sometimes!
- Chef Hatchet: What color is Courtney thinking of?
- Duncan: Right now! Are you serious? Ohhhh. I don't know, blue?
- Courtney: (in separate room outside set) Burnt sienna! Ugh, he doesn't know anything about me!
Aftermath 4: Who Wants To Pick A Millionaire?
- Bridgette: We've had a really great time, and we're gonna miss you guys.
- Leshawna: Awww, we'll miss you too, girl. Now pick a winner so we can all go home!
- Trent: As part of Total Drama Action's movie theme, I want to know about your character. Like, let's say your boyfriend was being super nice to you and nothing more. And you for some reason found that weird. And talked to his teammates about voting them off, and then they did that, and...
(Gwen looks uncomfortable)
- DJ: Awkward.
- Heather: I should be sitting in that chair right now.
- Beth: There's really not a lot of room left...
- Heather: I was the one with all the strategic smarts, the will to win, the brains and the courage! If it wasn't for a lot of bad luck and completely incompetent teammates... (Seemingly forgetting that she has an audience) Why am I not the winner? What kind of crappy show is this?! I better not run into either of you in the real world!
- Gwen: (Voting) You're not seeing it. I refuse to be predictable.
- Chris: One vote for...Explosivo.
- Izzy: (Laughs) BOOM-BOOM!