Total Drama Island

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Seasons: 1: Island 2: Action 3: World Tour 4: Revenge of the Island 5: All-Stars and Pahkitew Island | Main | Spin-offs: The Ridonculous Race / DramaRama

Total Drama Island is the first season of Total Drama.

Episodes[edit]

Not So Happy Campers - Part 1 [1.01][edit]

Chris: [first lines] Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario, I'm your host, Chris McLean, dropping season 1 of the hottest new reality show on television, right now! [moves to Dock of Shame] Here's the deal, 22 campers have signed up to spend 8 weeks right here at this shitty old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every 3 days, 1 team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, ha ha, and leave Total Drama Island, for good! [moves to campfire pit] Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all, but one camper will receive... a marshmallow. [takes a bite of one marshmallow] In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which let's face it: they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle... Black flies... [flies buzzing] Grizzly bears, [grizzly bear roars] Disgusting ass camp food!
Grub on Plate: Hey now.
Chris: And, each other! Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of camera situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here right now on... TOTAL... DRAMA... ISLAND!


[The 22 campers gathered round for a group picture.]
Chris: Okay. 1, 2, thr- Oop! Okay, forgot the lens cap! Okay, hold that pose... 1...t- Oh, wait. Card's full! Hang on...
LeShawna: C'mon, you bitch! My face is startin' to freeze!
Chris: Got it Okay!, everyone say 'Wawanakwa!'
Campers: Wawanakwa! [the dock gave way underneath them] Aaah!
Chris: This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home! for the next 8 weeks the campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. you big, the camper who manages to say on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000.
Chris: Here's the deal, we're gonna split you into two teams, if I call your name out, go stand over there. Gwen… Trent… Heather… Cody… Lindsay… Beth… Katie… Owen… Leshawna… Justin… and Noah. From this moment on, you are officially known as… The Screaming Gophers!
Owen: Yeah! I'm a gopher! Whoo!
Katie: Wait. What about Sadie?
Chris: The rest of you, over here. Geoff… Bridgette… DJ… Tyler… Sadie… Izzy… Courtney… Ezekiel… Duncan… Eva… and Harold. Move, move, move!
Sadie: But Katie's a gopher! I have to be a gopher!
Courtney: Sadie, is it? Come on, it'll be okay.
Sadie: This is so fucking unfair! I'll miss you, Katie!
Katie: I'll miss you too!
Chris: You guys will officially be known as… The Killer Bass!
Gwen: [during her first confessional] Um, okay. So far this is shit.
Lindsay: [during her first confessional] I don't get it. Where's the camera guy?
Owen: [during his first confessional] Hey, everyone, check this out. I have something very important to say… [farts and chuckles]
Heather: Bunk beds? Isn't this a little…summer camp?
Gwen: That's the idea, bitch.
Heather: [scoffs] Shut up, you gothic asshole.

Not So Happy Campers - Part 2 [1.02][edit]

Leshawna: [after Heather refuses to jump] Oh, you're doing it!
Heather: Says who?!
Leshawna: Says me! I'm not losing this challenge cause you got your hair did, you spoiled little daddy's girl!
Heather: Back off, ghetto-glamor, too-tight-pants-wearing, rap-star wannabe!
Leshawna: Mall-shopping, ponytail-wearing, teen girl-reading, peeking in high school prom queen!
Heather: Well, at least I'm popular.
[Gwen looks shocked, Noah looks amused, Cody looks scared, Justin pulls out his mirror and admires himself]
Leshawna: You're jumping!
Heather: Make me! [Leshawna grabs Heather and throws her down] AAAAAAAAAH! [lands in the safe zone] Leshawna, you are so dead!
Leshawna: Hey! I threw you into the safe zone, didn't I? [to herself] Now I just hope I can hit it, too. [jumps] AAAAAAAAAH! [lands in the safe zone, right next to Heather]
Tyler: [sets the crate down] I gotta take a whizz. [walks off into the bushes for quick pee break]
Eva: Hurry up. We're already behind.
Katie: Oh, I have to go too.
Sadie: You do? Oh, my gosh, me too.
Trent: Hey! What's up, guys?
LeShawna: Hey! Are you missing a couple of white girls?
[As it turns out, Katie and Sadie we're doing their business in the lake, to relieve themselves after they sat on poison ivy]
Sadie: Oops!
Courtney: They're getting a drink.
Harold: Yeah! If they drink with their butts.
Ezekiel: [laughs at Harold’s jokes] That’s funny!
LeShawna: [shocked to witness Courtney's swollen eye] Ooh. What happened to your eye, girl?
Courtney: Nothing! Just an allergy!
Ezekiel: Think it's getting worse!
Courtney: Shut up/Shut it! We don't want them to know that.
Ezekiel: My dad instructed me to look after the girls if they needed help.
[1st elimination of the series; Ezekiel got eliminated because his sexist comments against women angered the female members of the Killer Bass]
Chris: [after Ezekiel got eliminated] Can't say I'm shocked. I saw you picking your nose, dude. Not cool. Dock of shame is that way, bro. The rest of you, enjoy your marshmallows. You're all safe for tonight.

The Big Sleep [1.03][edit]

[Chris blows the airhorn which wakes everybody up.]
LeShawna: Oww! Nigga, It’s 7 in the morning! Do I look like a farmer to you?!
Duncan: [mischievously puts Harold's hand into a mug of water, causing him to pee his pants] Oh, gross it worked! Dude pissed his pants!
[Eva furiously tears apart the Killer Bass' cabin as she searches for her MP3 player]
Eva: [growling in rage] Where is my MP3 player?! One of you must have stolen it I need my music! No one is going anywhere until I get my MP3 player back!
Courtney: OK, whoever took it better give it up now before she destroys this fucking camp.
Heather: Hey, guys. Wow, this place is a real mess.
Courtney: Someone stole Eva's MP3 player.
Heather: You don't mean this, do you? I was wondering who it belong to. I found it by the campfire pit, you must have dropped it.
Eva: Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you!
Heather: Sure thing.
[Eva got eliminated because she had her temper after Heather stole her MP3 Player, and believed that somebody on her team had taken it]
Eva: [sarcastically] Nice, really nice. Who needs this stupid ass TV show anyway?! [kicks Chris in the knee]
Chris: [clutching his leg] OW! Have a good night sleep tonight. You're all safe.

Dodgebrawl [1.04][edit]

Duncan: Wake me up, and i'll kill the fucking guts outta you. [goes back to sleep]
Courtney: [rolls her eyes; annoyed to Harold] This is all your fault you know, you and your shitty snoring face!
Harold: It's called a medical condition, GOSH!
Heather: Okay, we can't get lazy. The Killer Bass are gonna be trying extra hard to catch up. Who wants to sit the first one out with Sleeping Beauty?
Noah: All right, I'll volunteer. Now let's see you all keeners get on out there and dodge.
Heather: Bring it on, motherfuckers. Otherwise, winning three in a row just won't be as satisfying.
Tyler: Oh, you're going down! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table and then we're gonna eat it!
Chris: Both teams ready? Best of five games wins. Now, let's dodge some balls! [laughter] ballSACKS!
Harold: Time to unleash my wicked skills.
Leshawna: Yeah? Then bring it, string bean! Let's see what you got!
Chris: [after Cody throws a dodgeball behind DJ like a boomerang; surprised] That is one tough ball to dodge!
Harold: We can do this! We just have to believe in ourselves!
Courtney: Oh, I believe. I believe you are ASS!
Tyler: Yeah. You throw like a girl.
[Geoff laughs]
Courtney: You should talk.
Tyler: It was a warm-up throw. Look, I can dominate this game. Just give all the balls to me.
Courtney: Fine, just try to aim for the other side, okay?
Chris: [after Owen hardly throws the ball at Geoff, hitting him in the face] Owww! That one's worth an instant replay. [footage plays Geoff getting hit in the face repeatedly] Forward. Okay, rewind. Forward. Rewind. Forward. Rewind, forward. [laughs] Rewind. And pause. Ho-ho. That's gonna leave a mark.
Leshawna: Ooh! He dropped it like it was hot!
Courtney: Okay, this is really bad. One more game, and we lose the whole challenge… again! We can't let that happen, people. We need someone strong, someone mean, someone who will crush those fuck-faced gophers into the dirt!
[The Bass looks down at Duncan, still asleep]
DJ: [believing it's a bad idea] Uh-uh. If we wake him up, he'll kill us!
Courtney: He won't kill us, guys, he wants to win too.
Harold: Courtney's right, we need Duncan's fierceness to win this.
Courtney: That's the spirit, Harold. Now go wake him up.
Harold: Why me?
Courtney: Because, other than Tyler, you're the worst at dodgeball, and if he does kill you, you're the only we can afford to lose.
Harold: No way, I'm not doing it.
Courtney: Well, who's gonna wake him up?
Duncan: [wakes up, grunts, and snaps the stick in half] You better have a really good reason for sticking this up my nose!
Courtney: Look. We are down two-nothing. I can appreciate that you need a little nap time. But we need your help.
Duncan: Oh, and why should I help you, darling?
Courtney: Because I can personally guarantee you that if we lose this game, you'll be the one going the fuck home… Darling.
Duncan: [sighs] Fine, I'll play. On one condition, you do what I say when I say it. Okay, here's the strategy I picked up during my first visit to juvie, it's called "Rush the New Guy."
Courtney: Where were you?
Tyler: Nowhere!
Courtney: You were with that blonde Gopher slut, weren't you?
Tyler: No! Maybe. So?
Courtney: So she could've been getting you to spill all of our weaknesses to her!
Chris: The Killer Bass win!
[The Killer Bass cheer victoriously over their first win]
Owen: [horrified shock] It's impossible! [falls on his knees, crying in defeat] WHYYYY?!
Duncan: Nice dodge, skater nerd.
Chris: Gophers, what happened?
Noah: What can I say? Weak effort. [the other gophers glare annoyingly at him]
Gwen: [irritated] Oh, shut the fuck up, Noah. [walks off]
Heather: You know, for once, I agree with her. [walks off as well]
[The female gophers, including Cody, leave]
Noah: Touchy. What? [Owen, Justin, and Trent glare at him] I'll tell you, the team spirit is severely lacking lately.
[Noah got eliminated because he refused to participate in the dodgeball game, and ticked off his teammates by being overly sarcastic]
Chris: Campers, you've already placed your votes and made your decision. One of you will be going home, and you can't come back…ever. When you hear me call out your name, come pick up a marshmallow. Owen. Gwen, Cody. Trent. Heather. Beth. Justin. Leshawna. Izzy. [the nine gophers claim their marshmallows as Lindsay and Noah are on the bottom two] The final marshmallow goes to… Lindsay.
Lindsay: Woo-hoo! Yeah!
Noah: [shocked after he got voted off] What, are you kidding me?! [Lindsay receives the final marshmallow] Aright, see if I care bitches. Good luck, because you just voted out the only one with brains on this team. [the gophers start pelting him with marshmallows as payback]
Leshawna: You need to learn a little thing called "respect", motherFUCKER!
[The other gophers cheer]
Noah: Whatever. I'm outta here. [leaves to the Dock of Shame]

Not Quite Famous [1.05][edit]

Heather: [blows whistle] Okay, I'm the team captain, so here's how it's going to work.
Gwen: Wait. Who said you were team captain?
Lindsay: She did, just now.
Heather: Lindsay, Beth and I took a vote, and I won.
Gwen: Threatening them to vote for you isn't exactly democratic.
Chris: [unimpressed by Tyler's yo-yo talent] Man, that is weak.
Lindsay: [yelling at Bridgette after she lands on Tyler's arms] Hey, puke on your own boyfriend!
Heather: On your own what, Lindsay?
Lindsay: I didn't say boyfriend!
Heather: Originally, I was going to dance for you, but instead I want to celebrate team spirit with a collaboration. [Pulls out Gwen's diary, which she stole]
Gwen: She wouldn't! [winces in fear]
Heather: With words by Gwen, performance by me, enjoy. [clears throat] "Okay. So, I'm trying to ignore him, but he's just so cute. If they had custom-ordered a guy to be a distraction for me here, it would have been McHottie. [Lindsay gasps; Cody points to himself, smiles, and nods, believing the words are about him] We just totally connect. He's pretty much the only person I can relate to here and I know it's a cliche, but I love guys who play guitar." [Gwen watches in horror as her diary is being read to the whole world]
Cody: Wait... I don't play guitar. [Camera pans over to a guitar-holding Trent, who Cody makes eye contact with in a confused manner]
[Gwen nervously scooches to the right and runs off]
Heather: [closes Gwen's diary] Thank you.
Courtney: That was so mean.
Bridgette: Seriously.
[Heather convinced her alliance, Owen and Izzy to vote Justin off, as opposed to her]
Chris: [after Justin got eliminated] Time to catch the boat of losers, bruh.
Heather: Later bruh.
[To get back at Heather for reading her diary in revenge, Gwen dumps Harold's red ant farm into her bed]
Gwen: [confessional] If that evil little cow thinks she is getting away with this, she has another thing coming. [confessional ends, Gwen walks up to the Bass' cabin, knocks on the boy's side and Harold answers] Did you say you brought a red ant farm with you?
Harold: Yes.
[Moments later, Heather runs out of the cabin, screaming with red ants crawling all over her and she trips and falls on the ground]
Gwen: [smiling with satisfaction] Sweet dreams, everyone. [chuckles]

The Sucky Outdoors [1.06][edit]

Katie: Well, at least I know how do to drive, you… you have-to-walk girl. Now who’s smarter?
Sadie: Trip to the beach last year ring a bell?
Katie: Oh, I can't believe you're bringing that up. I did have a totally fetch bikini on that day, though. Ha.
Sadie: You drove my mom's car into a snack shack!
Katie: It was totally in my blind spot! Whatever. If it wasn't for me, you'd be riding the bus to the mall!
[Two squirrels watch the girls argue on a tree branch]
Sadie: Well, if it weren't for me, you wouldn’t be able to find your way to the mall!
Katie: Oh, I know my way to the mall!
Sadie: You leaned on me! [purple squirrel mimics her] If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be on this show!
Katie: [gasps; blue squirrel mimics her] You're just saying that because I'm prettier than you are!
[The two squirrels start laughing]
Sadie: [gasps] I knew you thought that!
Katie: It's true. Everybody thinks so.
[Duncan tells the Bass team a scary hook story]
Duncan: One night, a lot like this one… [later…] So suddenly… they-they heard this tap-tap-tapping on the side of the car. The girl started to freak out, and by this time, even the guy was getting a bit scared. So he turned the car on, and he stepped on it. When they got back to the girl's house, she opened the door and screamed, because there, hanging from the door handle… was the bloody hook! They say that this killer is still alive, wandering these very woods. He could be just about anywhere, really. Maybe even right… [takes out a hook on his right hand] HERE! [the Bass screams in terror; cackles evilly]
Courtney: [angrily] Duncan! That was so not funny!
Duncan: Oh, yes it was! I just wish it was all on camera! Uh, oh, wait, it is!
Courtney: You are so vile. Do your parents even like you?
Duncan: I don't know, Jumpy McChicken. I haven't asked them lately.
[Bear growls]
Trent: so what do we do now?
Heather: Don't look at me.
Gwen: It was your idea to climb the trees.
Heather: Well, why don't you ask the bear hunting expert? Hey Owen, what now?
Owen: How should I know?
LeShawna: Dude, you said you killed a bear!
Owen: I was being theatrical!
Heather: This is all your fault! If you hadn’t been growling like that, we never would’ve attracted him to our site!
Owen: Excuse me for living! [cries and he bonking on a tree for 3 times]
Trent: Hey, hey, hey. Ease up on the guy. He did bring us all that fish.
Heather: Hey! Lay off our fish!
Lindsay: [pants] It’s probably already eaten, Izzy!
Heather: Then it shouldn’t be hungry anymore! [Gwen gasped] What? This is survival of the fittest. She should’ve just peed in her pants like Cody. [Cody looks down in shame]
[Branches snapping, LeShawna screams]
[Bear growls]
[Heather and Trent gasped]
Owen: Dear Abby, she’s going to die!
[Bear growls]
LeShawna: [after she grunts] Eh, nice bear. [screams] Somebody help me!
Heather: LeShawna, get up!
Trent: Run, look out!
Gwen: Don't move!
Izzy: [Inside the bear costume, laughs] Hey, are you okay?
LeShawna: Uh, did that bear just ask me a question?
[Gwen and Heather gasped]
Owen: Oh my goodness, I did not see that coming!
Lindsay': Okay, I'm so confused right now.
Gwen: What are you, some kind of weirdo?
Izzy: I thought it would be funny! [laughs]
Courtney: [confessional] Okay, I just wanna say for the record, that I was totally asleep and therefore, unconscious at the time of the "alleged cuddling" with said Neanderthal. So essentially, it's like it never happened.
Chris: All right, Killer Bass. One of your fishy butts is going home. Gophers, you're going on an all-expense paid trip to… the Tuck Shop!
[The Screaming Gophers cheer and run off after winning as the Killer Bass gasp in shock and glare angrily at Katie and Sadie, for showing up late]
[Katie got eliminated after she and Sadie had gotten lost and showed up too late at camp to save their team]
Sadie: No! Why Katie?! Why her?!
Katie: It's so unfair!
Sadie: I so can't do this! I've never been anywhere without Katie! We have to be together or I'll totally die!
Katie: Sadie, listen to me. You can do this. You are strong and beautiful and like, maybe even smarter than me. And plus, you're the funnest girl I know. You have to do it for both of us.
[At the Dock of Shame, the two girls hold hands for one last time as the Boat of Losers takes Katie away]
Sadie: I miss you already!
Katie: [sobs] I miss you more!
Sadie: No, I miss you more!
Katie: No way, I totally miss you more!
Sadie: I miss you infinitely more! BYE!

Phobia Factor [1.07][edit]

[Episode starts with Sadie lying down, sobbing uncontrollably at the end of the Dock of Shame over Katie's elimination]
Bridgette: Katie would want you to keep going. [sighs] Come on. Let's go back and join the others. [grabs and pulls Sadie, breaking off a piece of the dock, dragging her back to the campfire]
Sadie: [sobbing] Katie! I miss you!
Bridgette: [to Courtney] It was a long goodbye.
DJ: [gasps] SNAKE!
Cody: Chill, dude. It's just a gummy worm.
DJ: Sorry for trippin'. Snakes just freak me out.
Tyler: I feel you. Chickens give me the creeps, dude.
Gwen: You're afraid of chickens?
Duncan: [chuckles] Wow, that's… That's really lame, man.
Gwen: [Confessional] So suddenly, everyone's having this big share-fest by the fire. Like Beth went on and on about how her mortal fear is being covered by bugs, Harold's afraid of ninjas, even Heather admitted she's afraid of sumo wrestlers. [end of confessional] What's my worst fear? I guess being buried alive.
Lindsay: Walking through a minefield… In heels.
Owen: Flying, man. That's some crazy stuff.
Izzy: Hah. I would never go up in a plane. Never!
Geoff: I'm scared of hail. It's small but deadly, dude.
Bridgette: Being left alone in the woods.
Sadie: [sniffling] Bad haircuts.
Lindsay: Oh, okay. I change mine! That's so much scarier than a minefield!
Cody: Having to defuse a time bomb under pressure.
Courtney: I'm not really afraid of anything.
Duncan: [coughs] Baloney.
Courtney: Oh, really? Well, what exactly is your phobia, Mr. Know-It-All?
[Everyone looks at Duncan]
Duncan: Uh… C-Celine Dion music store standees.
Gwen: I need some kind of distraction. Tell me a story. Um, why do you hate mimes so much?
Trent: [sighs and stands up] My mom took me to this carnival once when I was 4 so I could see the elephants. I was stoked.
Gwen: Yeah?
Trent: I was so busy watching them then I lost her for a minute. I called out, but when I turned, all I could see was this horrible white face with black lips pretending to be me! I screamed and tried to run, but every time I turned around, he was there, doing this creepy fake run and screen routine.
Courtney: [Confessional, upset that she was unable to conquer her fear of green jelly which cost the Bass the challenge] I'm so embarrassed! How could I be so weak? I deserve to go home! [shakes her head] Ugh. Okay. Stop it! You're pathetic! Show some confidence, Courtney! [starts crying, but, slaps herself to stop]
[Tyler got eliminated because his phobia of chickens was seen as a nuisance and his inability to conquer them contributed to his team's loss]
Chris: [as Tyler leaves] Looks like a new pecking order has been established here.
Duncan: It's not like he can cry fowl!
Geoff: Time for Tyler to fly the coop!
Bridgette: He won't be flying high tonight!
Courtney: Okay. That's enough!
Lindsay: [Confessional, after Tyler's elimination] Aww! I'll never forget our time together, Taylor. Uh, Tyler. [blows a kiss] Bye!

Up the Creek [1.08][edit]

Cody: I think I know why you keep shooting me down. It's because of Trent, isn't it? [Gwen looks at him] Look, I'm pretty tight with Trent, and I was definitely sensing an "I'm into Gwen" vibe from him. [Gwen stares at him] I'll put in a good word for him, if you will.
Gwen: [surprised] Wow. That's really cool of you.
Cody: Aw, well.
Gwen: If you can get us in the same boat back, I'll so owe you one.
Cody: Interesting that you would say that. See, I'm in a bit of trouble myself.
Gwen: [looking uneasy] What do you mean?
Cody: Well, I kind of bet Owen that if I got you [wiggles fingers] bra, he'd do all my dishes for the rest of the competition. [Gwen, irritated, hits him in the groin with her paddle again] HA, OW! Ha... right... asking too much. Got it.
Trent: Thanks for saving my butt, man.
Cody: Just lookin' out for a fellow gopher. [opens a soda can] Want a sip?
Trent: No, I'm good.
Cody: Trent, let's talk. Mano-a-mano.
Trent: Okay. What do you wanna talk about?
Cody: Gwen. See, I hit on her, but, I struck out, a few times. The points is, she's not into me. She's into you.
Trent: [gets in Cody's face, threateningly] If you're lying, I can easily rearrange your face. You know that, right?
Cody: Dude, buddy, what do I have to gain from lying to you?
DJ: My brothers dared me to jump off when I was 8 years old.
Chris: The Bass are the winners!
[The Killer Bass cheers for their victory]
Leshawna: [angrily to Izzy] You cost us the game! You are dead!
[Izzy eliminated herself from the game because the RCMP arrived to arrest her]
Chris: And now, the always anxiety-inducing marshmallow ceremony! When I call your name, come and get a marshmallow. Beth. Trent. Gwen. Cody. Owen. Heather. Leshawna. One last marshmallow. The person who doesn't get this marshmallow will walk off the Dock of Shame, and take a ride on the Boat of Losers. Who's it gonna be?
RCMP Officer: [from a helicopter] Izzy! We know you are down there! You are under arrest! [a searchlight tries to spot Izzy]
Leshawna: You mean all that trash you were talkin' was true?
Izzy: No, just the RCMP part. See ya! [goes psycho while the helicopter's searchlight immediately focuses on her] You'll never get me ALIVE!!!!!!!! [laughs hysterically and runs off with the RCMP in hot pursuit]

Paintball Deer Hunter [1.09][edit]

Leshawna: [as Chris hovers above the gopher's cabin in a helicopter, hits her head on the bottom bunk; annoyed] Ohh! Okay, that dude is really starting to get on my last nerve!
Heather: [yawns] Whatever. He just loves ruining our mornings. Beth, Lindsay, go warm up the shower for me… Now! And remember…
Beth: Not too hot this time, I know. [yawns]
[Beth takes responsibility for her actions as she stands up to Heather and ends her alliance]
Heather: What took you so long?
Beth: Here. I hope you know what I had to go through to get those.
Heather: [snags the bag out of Beth's hands] There's like... 11 chips left. [sniffs] And they're barbecue! Go exchange them for dill pickle.
Beth: No.
Heather: What did you just say?
Cody: I'm just gonna… yeah.
Heather: Take it back.
Beth: [inhales deeply] No!
Heather: Take... it... back.
Beth: No, I'm tired of being your slave. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a challenge to complete.
Heather: I am giving you one last chance.
Beth: Why? Because you know you can't win without your little alliance?
Heather: I can make your life MISERABLE here!
Beth: You already do, Miss "Come-Put-Lotion-On-My-Nasty-Alligator-Skin!" What do I have to lose?!
Leshawna: Two hours of sneaking around in the woods, and I haven't shot a darn thing. What kind of messed-up person actually does this for fun?
Heather: Fine. Be all alone, then… loser!
Beth: It's better than working for you!
Heather: Give me that! [takes Lindsay's paintball gun and fires orange paintballs at Beth and Leshawna]
Beth: Oh, now it is so on!
Courtney: Why do you smell worse than usual?
Duncan: It's Owen's stink. It's following me around like my juvenile record.
Courtney: Well, I'm heading back. This stupid game must be almost over by now.
Duncan: You’re going the wrong way.
Courtney: Excuse me? I was a CIT, remember? I have a natural sense of direction. Camp is this way.
Duncan: No. It’s that way.
[They bump into each other, getting their antlers stuck]
Courtney: Very funny. Now let me go!
Duncan: Hey princess, this isn’t my idea of fun either.
Courtney: Great, Duncan.
Duncan: [confessional] Sure, we could’ve taken those lame-o antler hats off, but Miss Counselor-in-Training would probably go blab to Chris and have us disqualified. And hey, I kinda liked it.
Courtney: Now what?!
Duncan: You wanna make out?
Owen: [laughs] Duncan, you sly dog, you!
Duncan: The girl can't keep her antlers off me. [Courtney kicks him in the groin; in a pain-pitched voice] Can't even bend over.
[Cody got eliminated because he was in a full body cast after being mauled by a bear and his team thought he wasn't useful, so Beth wheeled him to the Dock of Shame]
Beth: I know, I can't believe I stood up to her, either! [Cody mumbles more; Beth cannot understand, however] Don't worry about me. I'll be fine! And... I still have my good luck charm! [shows Cody the tiki idol] See? I found it on Boney Island last week. Cool, huh? Goodbye Cody! Take care! [Beth kisses Cody on the cheek, and he falls off the dock and his wheelchair sinks]

If You Can't Take The Heat... [1.10][edit]

Geoff: Okay. We've got, like, three courses and six people. So everybody partner up.
DJ: I know how to make pasta sauce.
Bridgette: I know how to boil pasta. [she and DJ high-five, knowing they'll make pasta together]
Harold: Me and Sadie can rock the antipasto. I'm like a black belt when it comes to cutting cheese.
[The Bass laughs at what he said]
Duncan: Cheese.
Harold: What? What?
Duncan: [to Courtney] I guess that leaves you and me on dessert detail.
Courtney: Oh, no. No way.
Geoff: Come on, Courtney, for the team.
DJ: Uh, where do you want the water, Brid-- [spills water on Harold's pants] Oops!
Harold: Hey! [to DJ; annoyed] Smooth move, Dork-ahontas!
Heather: Gwen, Lindsay, you're both on the citrus macadamia upside down cake flambé.
Lindsay: Know how to make an upside down flamer thingy?
[Owen bumps into Heather, drops some oranges, slips on them and squashes them all]
Heather: Go back to the truck and get more oranges.
Owen: I'm on it! [leaves to the truck]
Heather: Trent, you and Owen are on ribs. Leshawna and Beth, you're on pineapple skewers and mango dip.
Leshawna: Girl, let me handle the appetizers. I know how to make a pineapple chutney that will knock the socks off the devil.
Heather: Oh, really? Well, that's so great! But since I'm head chef, we're gonna stick to my plan. And my plan is pineapples with sticks through them. Got it?
Heather: [confessional] Things are going perfectly except for Owen's hornet stings and Trent's concussion, which means he's out of today's challenge. But still, this challenge is totally ours!
Courtney: Careful your big paws don't mash the pastry.
Duncan: Careful your uptight butt doesn't curdle the custard.
Courtney: Oh, ha-ha-ha.
Heather: These slices are totally uneven. Switch places with Leshawna.
Leshawna: What are you talking about? They look fine to me.
Heather: Um, I didn't get to be head chef because of poor presentation.
Leshawna: No, you got to be head chef because you called it. And who do you think you're fooling with this crispy-white-apron power trip you're on?!
Heather: Are you gonna be a team player or not?!
Leshawna: Ooh, I'm a team player, a'ight, but I'm also allergic to pineapples!
Heather: Just get slicing now! Thanks, guys.
Leshawna: [grumbling] Ooh, two-faced, bossy little… [gets pineapple allergy rash on her arms and groans angrily] Yo, what do you recommend I do about this? [shows Heather her rashly arms]
Heather: Yo, I recommend you scratch after we win. Get back to work.
Geoff: Dude, you gotta put some clothes on, man. It's unsanitary to cook in something that… [snickers] small.
Harold: So give me back my pants, then!
Heather: [looks at her reflection on a frying pan, seeing her eyebrows got burned off; screams] My eyebrows! Owen!
Owen: Is it finally lunchtime?
Heather: No! Go get my makeup bag from the cabin!
Owen: But, the bees…
Heather: [holds the frying pan in front of him, threatening to hit him with it] NOW!
Leshawna: Excuse me, I need a bathroom break.
Heather: Well, evidently, I need new eyebrows. But we don's always get what we want, do we?! [frustrated] Ugh! It's like I'm on a team of morons/losers!
Leshawna: [confessional; having enough] Oh, that is it. Someone's gotta teach this girl a little respect.
Heather: [runs into the freezer and picks up her makeup bag as Leshawna, Lindsay, and Beth close the door, locking her in] Hey! You can't do this, I'm head chef!
Lindsay: [to Leshawna] Do you think Heather's really mad at us?
Heather: [pounding from behind the door; furiously] I WILL DESTROY YOU! [starts weeping]
Leshawna: She'll get over it. Girl needs to learn how to chill.
Leshawna: [enraged at Owen] Tell me you did not just eat that entire plate of ribs!
Chris: What the heck is this?!
Lindsay: It's Heather's recipe. [gasps in horrified realization] Oh my gosh! She's still in the fridge! [quickly runs into the kitchen to get Heather out]
Leshawna: What? Girl was making everyone trip.
Chris: Oh, I hear that.
Owen: [gasps as Heather is out of the fridge] Oh, the horror!
[Heather is out of the fridge with her whole skin light blue]
Heather: [shivering in anger] You guys are s-s-s-so dead!
[Beth got eliminated because Heather exposed her for taking a cursed tiki idol from Boney Island, causing her team to blame her for their losses]
Heather: [talks to Beth about her elimination] You heard him. Boat of Losers. That away. That really was stupid/silly of you to take that doll from the island.
Leshawna: See you girl.
Chris: That's it for tonight. And you might want to burn some sage to get rid of any lingering curse vibes.
Leshawna: Cool, will Chef give us some sage?
Chris: Nope. So, good luck with that!

Who Can You Trust? [1.11][edit]

[Heather is wrapped in a blanket after getting locked in the fridge from the previous episode and sneezes]
Gwen: [smugly] Need a little echinacea?
Heather: [sarcastically] You're so funny. You think that you can just lock me up in a freezer and get away with it? I am gonna make you sorry that you ever met me.
Gwen: Too late.
Heather: You are such a… a… a… [sneezes] Ugh I hate this place!
Courtney: [after unknowingly sees Duncan stuff another mug in this shirt] I saw that! How could you just steal a mug?
Duncan: 'Cause it's cool looking and I don't have one. Hm. Didn't have one, that is.
Courtney: But you might get kicked off!
Duncan: Awww, and here I thought you didn't care about me.
Courtney: We're one player short and I don't wanna lose because you feel like going all criminal on us.
Duncan: Pfft, whatever. You dig me.
Courtney: Ugh! Why do I even bother?!
Chris: Hi. Chris here. Sometimes, teams just don't get along. So, the producers and I thought that the best way to work through the group friction would be, to exploit it for laughs. This is gonna be awesome!
Trent: [in slurred voice] I thought you said you passed biology.
Lindsay: I said I took biology. [Trent throws up while being poisoned] Eww!
Chris: It's cool. Give him 24 hours and he'll be up walking and breathing good as new.
Geoff: Uh… Is anybody gonna help this guy?
Gwen: [confessional, satisfied about Heather falling into jellyfish-invested waters] Sometimes, the universe just gives you a freebie!
Courtney: [waking up in the infirmary as Heather sits next to her, with a jellyfish attached to her] Where am I?
Heather: You're in the infirmary. [to Chef Hatchet] Got anything for removing jellyfish? [Chef nods yes and she gives him a thumbs up before lying down]
[Courtney convinced her teammates to vote Sadie off after she continued shooting crab apples at the former even though they lost the challenge.]
Sadie: [after she got eliminated] You know what? That’s fine with me, you… marshmallow eating freaks! [runs off crying loudly]
Chris: The rest of you are safe… for now.

Basic Straining [1.12][edit]

Bridgette: Okay. I think you had enough.
Courtney: Oh no! No! Just... Just one more. [eats the last one, but, belches] Oh. Yeah! Yeah! That one was a mistake. [gags and runs outside]
LeShawna: [laughs]
Courtney: [vomits]
Duncan: [comes out] So, the Princess has a dark side.
Courtney: Okay. That was so gross! But, it was like, once I did something bad, it was so much fun, I just wanted more.
Duncan: Well. You could always give me a kiss. That’d be pretty bad.
Courtney: You’re still not my type.
Duncan: Fine! Enjoy a peanut butter less life.
Courtney: Thanks! Enjoy prison!
Duncan: I will!
[Duncan and Courtney share a kiss. DJ and Geoff come out as Courtney left.]
Geoff: Yes, Dude!
Duncan: Told you she wanted me!
Harold: [gasps, and glares]
[Courtney got eliminated because of Harold got back at Duncan for his pranking by rigging the votes to eliminate his love interest]
Courtney: [after Harold received the final marshmallow] What?! You guys voted for Harold over me?!
Chris: Yes! Yes! It’s always a shock!
Courtney: This is impossible! I demand a recount!
Duncan: Aw, seriously dude. I know for a fact there were 3 of us that didn’t vote her off!
[Chef pushes Geoff and DJ on to the ground. And he and Chris grabbed Courtney by the arms as they escort her to the Dock of Shame]
Courtney: [being carried by the arms] I do not concede! I do not concede!
Duncan: Aw man, this sucks/stinks!
Courtney: I was your only hope. I was a counselor-in-training! Let go of me! [Chef and Chris throw her in the boat of losers] You are going to hear from my attorney.
Duncan: Courtney, wait! I made this for you! [throws a wooden skull]
Courtney: [catching the skull] Duncan! [looks at the skull] Okay, this is really weird and creepy, but I love it! I’ll never forget you!
[Harold rigged the votes to eliminate Courtney, in order to get revenge on Duncan, for bullying him.]
Harold: [confessional] You guys think you’re so funny. Let’s see how you like it when someone messes with your love life.

X-Treme Torture [1.13][edit]

Chef Hatchet: Sweet mother of- Woah!
Bridgette: So, your guy's a metro with a broken back.
Gwen: So, your guy's a grammatically challenged skater flake. [Behind them in the background, was LeShawna still riding on the moose] Okay. So, it wasn't Trent or Geoff!
Bridgette: Yeah! Plus, we kind of just assumed it was for us. [She and Gwen shared a hug] Well. Whoever it is, we're gonna find out. Deal?
Heather: [confessional] I couldn't let that little dork-wad win. So I decided to "cut" him loose. [turns around to Harold and takes out a knife] Game over, Gumby!
Gwen: So we ruled out Owen and DJ.
Bridgette: I know! So who could it be?
Leshawna: Who could what be?
Chris: Another note from your secret admirer Leshawna?
Gwen and Bridgette: [speechless] Leshawna's the crush girl?
Leshawna: You two know someone else here with a booty as luscious as an apple/kick-butt attitude like mine?
Gwen: But who wrote it?
[Harold got eliminated because he bailed in the skiing challenge when he was distracted by Heather's bare chest]
Chris: Bridgette and DJ! You’re safe. [gives Bridgette and DJ marshmallows, then, gets out a megaphone] Geoff! You’re safe too!
[Geoff was up in a tree, due to landing in a pile of smelly socks in the second challenge, Chris tosses a marshmallow to Geoff]
Geoff: Muchos Luchos, Compadre!
Chris: Okay, that leaves Harold, who bailed big for reasons unknown.
Harold: [Confessional] Boobies./Boo-yah!
Chris: And Duncan who bailed even bigger because Lindsay left his circling the drain in a shameless–
Duncan: [grabs Chris' shirt by the collar; angrily through gritted teeth] The chick was determined.
Chris: [hands him the last marshmallow] Which is why you’re safe. Harold, sorry dude. You’re done like dinner. [he eliminated Harold because he bailed in the skiing challenge when he was distracted by Heather's bare chest.]
Geoff: Wait a sec. So, Harold saw your boobies/chest?
Owen: Can we see?
Leshawna: Heck no. Wait a minute. [walks to the end of the dock, calling out to Harold] Who's boobies/chest did you see?! [hears Heather comes out of the shower, angrily walks towards her] Uh-uh. Uh-uh-uh-uh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh, see now, you messed with the wrong sister!
Heather: Oh, please. It was a total fluke. You think I'd actually show that dweeb my boobs on purpose? [Leshawna madly gets into her face and starts running away from her] Uh… Ah!
Leshawna: [angrily chasing after her] Get back here!
Gwen: Well, that's settled. Night.
Bridgette: Night.

Brunch of Disgustingness [1.14][edit]

LeShawna: Nobody's leaving until I find out who ate my pudding pockets!
Heather: I ate them. So what?
LeShawna: Whoa! Pump the brakes a minute! You're so what-ing me?! That's my food. No one touches my food!
Heather: Whatever, deal with it. It serves you right for leaving your junk everywhere, especially that. [points to a purple bra hanging on the top bunk] That is bugging me.
LeShawna: Yeah, it'd bug me too if I didn't have anything in the front or in the back to shake.
Heather: Yeah? Well, you got so much junk in your trunk, your jeans should come with a trash compactor!
LeShawna: [threatened with anger] Ooh! You want a piece of this?!
Bridgette: Uh-oh.
Heather: Bridgette! So good to see you!
Heather: What's mine is yours. Nail polish, scrunchies, earrings, just help yourself.
Lindsay: Wow.
Bridgette: Thanks, Heather, but um, I like to keep it natural.
Heather: Like my mom always says, a lady can always use a little boost in the looks department.
LeShawna: And my momma told me ain’t nothin’ free in this world. Watch what you take from this girl, Bridgette.
Heather: Mind your own business!
LeShawna: We’re a team and we gotta live in the same cabin, so this is all of our business.
Bridgette: Yeah! We’re a team. We should be using this as an opportunity to get to know each other better.
Heather: You want to play that way? Fine. Be on their side! [tapes a line in the middle] This is my side, and that’s your side! [Confessional] Okay, I probably could’ve played that better. But Leshawna seriously creases me.
LeShawna: Huh, yeah that’s right. You keep putting down that tape. And if you cross it, I’ll smack you down!
Heather: You can choose the weird girls if you want, but just so you know, once you do, you’re like, not allowed on our side. Right, Lindsay?
Lindsay: Hmph.
Bridgette: [Confessional] I thought we were supposed to be a team. You know, “united together in solidarity” or something. Let’s build bridges, not walls!
Heather: Take your pick. [Bridgette crosses Leshawna and Gwen's side] You just dug your own grave.
Bridgette: Let’s try to get along, okay? Otherwise, the guys are going to cream us, don’t you get it? Tough room.
Chris: The score now stands at one for the girls and zero for the guys! And now, the next course in... the Brunch of Disgustingness! You guys like pizza?
Owen: I could eat pizza any time with anything on it!
Chris: Anything? How about live grasshopper pizza with tangy jellyfish sauce and live anchovies?
Lindsay: Ew, I hate anchovies!
LeShawna: Ugh. Mm-mm. That is straight up nasty. I ain't eatin' that.
Heather: Oh, yes you are. I am not missing out on an indoor heated pool just because you can't keep down a few… [notices a grasshopper on her finger and shrieks] Grasshoppers. Okay, I can't do this.
Gwen: [grabs Heather by the arm, preventing her from leaving] I'm digesting a bull's precious cajones. You're gonna eat.
Heather: Fine. Can I get a little parmesan on this? [Chef shakes his head no, and she takes a bite] Delicious.
Lindsay: [whimpers] There is no way I'm eating that! It's not even food!
Bridgette: Lindsay! Lindsay! Let's try a little yogic meditation, okay? First, get into lotus position.
Lindsay: Ohm… ohm… ohm… [noms]
LeShawna: Now that's what I’m talking about, teamwork! Slide me some fingers!
Trent: [confessional] When I was a kid, my parents used to hold me down and force feed me broccoli. They only did it because broccoli's… [shudders in disgust] Good for you.
Chris: All right. Who's ready for the third course? Spaghetti! Well, actually, earthworms covered in snail slime sauce and hairballs.
Geoff: No! I can't take it anymore! [runs away, screaming]
DJ: I'll take care of this. [runs after Geoff and tackles him to the ground]
Geoff: Okay, okay! I'm good. I'm good.
Chris: Wow. It's still tied up. We're down to the last course in the challenge. It's delicious dolphin wieners! Hot dogs made of dolphin.
Bridgette: [gasps in horrified shock] But dolphins are our friends!
Heather: What are you waiting for? It's already dead. If you don't eat it, we don't win!
Bridgette: Ooh, I can't! I'm a surfer! I swim with dolphins!
Heather: EAT IT!
Bridgette: NO! I'm not doing it! You can't pressure me!
DJ: I'm with you, sister. I'm not eating no dolphin.
Chris: Whoever can drink the most shot glasses of fresh delicious blended cockroach will be the winner. This unlikely satisfying blend of eight different cockroaches is vitamin rich for your balanced lifestyle. On your mark, get set, go! Owen wins!
[DJ, Duncan, Geoff, and Trent cheer]
[Leshawna groans]
Heather: Leshawna, you are completely useless!
LeShawna: Oh, uh-oh, something’s coming up. [puking]
[DJ pukes]
[Trent pukes]
Chef: Grr… [retches]
[Chris retches]
[Duncan and Geoff puke]
Chris: The guys are the big winners today. And the girls go their separate ways. 2 definitive cliques have been cemented. For now. What shocking surprises are in store for our campers next week as they head for the big merge? Tune in on Total…Drama…Island.
[Exclusive clip]
Chef: My mom was right when she had told me to become an accountant.

No Pain, No Game [1.15][edit]

Chris: [through loudspeaker] Listen up, campers, as of right now all teams are officially dissolved. From here on in, it's every camper for themselves.
Duncan: Well, uh, it's about time we flew solo.
Leshawna: Oh-ho-ho, I am feeling that. Bring it on, Chris.
Chris: Then get ready for this!
[Gwen and Bridgette gasp in shock]
Leshawna: You're fronting me.
Heather: What? But that's impossible!
Trent: Aww, man, what is she doing here?
[Eva returns to the game on another yacht with a fiery background]
Chris: Back by popular audience demand, it's Eva!
Eva: [gets off the boat] That's right, I'm back. And just so we're clear, not only am I going to kick butt, but I'm also giving special attention to my backstabbing Bass team who voted me off!
[Izzy also returns to the game.]
Chris: [through loudspeaker] Also returning to camp, it's Izzy!
Girls: Oh, no!
[Izzy lets out a Tarzan yell as she swung on a vine and landed next to the other campers]
Izzy: Hey guys, It's good to be back at camp! even though I never actually left the island, I've been living in the woods all this time!
Gwen: I thought the R.C.M.P hunted you down.
Izzy: they tried, but being wilderness survivor I was swift-footed and avoided capture. [She brought out a raw fish and took a bit out of it] Once I was safe among my animal brethren, it was just me against the harsh elements.
Leshawna: You call this "harsh"? It's been warm and sunny all week.
Izzy: Not where I was, but luckily I was able to take refuge in a beaver dam. Yeah, I've befriended the family of beavers who lived there and together we forged for nuts and berries. [She scratched herself like a dog using her leg] Boy, I could get use of bag of nachos right now. [cackles, then howls like a wolf] So, what's new with you guys?
Eva: [enters the girls' cabin, noticing the tapped line in the middle] What's with the tape? Somebody better answer me.
Leshawna: Me and heather here got a little… territorial. But we're all cool now. Right, Heather?
Heather: [pulls the tape off the floor and wraps it up into a ball] Absolutely. Want my bunk, Eva?
Eva: I want this one. [knocks down Bridgette's surfboard; to Bridgette, threateningly] Unless Miss "Backstabbing-Traitor-Who-Voted-Me-Off" has a problem with that.
Leshawna: Okay, you know what? You can get all up in her face, But don't forget, we are all here to win.
Eva: You got that right, sister thunder-thighs/girlfriend.
Leshawna: Oh, oh, oh. Tell me the macho mama with butt cheeks tighter than my weave did not just say that.
Leshawna: [confessional, after she stood up to Bridgette, when she was threatened by Eva] That girl is getting on my last nerve!
Chris: [after Geoff failed to stay in the barrel of leaches for a full 10 seconds] Ooh. Close shave, Geoff! 9 and 9, 100 thousandths of a millionth... whatever! It's not 10. You’re out! You can return to your new seat.
Chris: LeShawna wins, so Eva is out!
Eva: [shocked and furious upon hearing this] What?! No way!
Chris: Way! She won the challenge, invincibility and the grand prize!
[Eva had her 2nd elimination when her temper get the better of her again, and she specifically threatened Bridgette.]
Chris: Okay. So, first off, we ran out of marshmallows.
Owen: No!
Chris: I reviewed the confessionals and I have to say, there’s lots of hate on in this group which is awesome. While I normally protect your privacy, in the spirit of airing your dirty laundry, I’m gonna go live with your confessionals.
[A Portable TV screen comes out and it reviews the contestants’ confessionals.]
Heather: [confessional] Since LeShawna’s immune, [holds a picture of Eva as a devil] there’s no other choice than rageaholic Eva.
Duncan: [confessional] I vote for Heather, because, I know she’s behind Courtney getting kicked off. You’ll pay for that, toots! If you’re watching this on cable, I miss you, babe.
Gwen: [confessional] Eva’s a freak/weirdo, so, See ya!
Bridgette: [confessional] Please. Please. Eva! I’m so glad you never air these!
DJ: [confessional] Eva’s nuts! Sorry, girl!
Geoff: [confessional] It’s gotta be Eva! Unless I can figure out who snagged my other lucky hat.
Lindsay: [confessional] I just can’t get over how smooth this is. I vote for Ava, because, she’s scarier than Heather, Laquisha and Gwen combined.
Eva: [confessional] Unless they want to leave in body bags, they better not say my name. I vote for Heather.
Chris: Got some dirt in there, huh. But, in the end! It was still 6 votes against Eva, so adios!
Eva: What?! This isn't the end of me! You better watch your backs! I'm not done! I'll get my revenge! [cuts to her on the Boat of Losers, wearing a straitjacket]

Search and Do Not Destroy [1.16][edit]

Heather: [Confessional] That’s just too much! Everyone knows that boyfriend-girlfriend is just another way to say “alliance”. And my alliance is gonna be the only alliance on this island!
Heather: Okay, listen up. We’ve gotta break up Trent and Gwen. Here’s the plan. Lindsay, I need you to g...What happened to you?
Lindsay: Izzy tried to help. Bees stinging. Terror. Lost keys.
[snake hisses]
Heather: Uh, yeah. Now here’s the plan. First, I need you to write a letter to Gwen.
LeShawna: What’s up, girl?
Gwen: [sobs] How’d you get all scratched up like that?
LeShawna: You should see the crocodiles. What about you? What’s up?
Gwen: Well, you see...what happened was...
LeShawna: [running out of cabin, angry] Heather is SO off this island!
[Trent got eliminated because Gwen told LeShawna that Heather kissed him. LeShawna told everybody to vote him or Heather off. Since Heather won invincibility, they voted off Trent instead.]
Chris: [to Trent] Sorry dude, you're out. [Trent gasps]
Leshawna: That's right! Take your 2 timing ways back to where you came from.
Trent: What?! But I thought I was getting so well with everybody!
Heather: I guess you were wrong.
Gwen: [gasps to Heather] You don't even care, do you?!
Heather: Hey, just playing the game.
Trent: [to Gwen] Why should you care? You think I'm a cliché.
Gwen: Where you get that from?
Trent: Her. [points to Heather]
Gwen: [rolls eyes] You know, after all this, I still didn't vote you off.
Trent: Then how did I get the boot?
LeShawna: My bad! I told everyone that you were two-timing and messin' around with Gwen and to give you the boot if Heather won the challenge.
Trent: [to Gwen] I want you to be tough and fight to the end, for both of us. I'll be watching and cheering for you back home.
[Gwen smiles, they lean in to kiss, but Chris butts in]
Chris: Trent, you have an appointment at the Dock of Shame and a ticket for the Boat of Losers! Let's go.

Hide and Be Sneaky [1.17][edit]

Lindsay: I am so glad they included Grape-tastic Pop in your reward last night, Heather. It's totally my favorite and its the only thing I've really been craving on the island.
Heather: I cannot believe that Leshawna shredded my clothes! She is so gonna pay for this!
Lindsay: Well, you did steal Gwen's boyfriend. That's pretty major.
Heather: Shut up! [Lindsay gasps and grabs the drink and spits it out] How can you drink this sugar water?
[Lindsay gasped]
Lindsay: [Confessional] Heather is my best friend on the island. I mean, sure, she steals my food and borrows my clothes and calls me names, but that's what BFF's are for. Best female friends!
Heather: [Confessional] Who cares about friends? In this world, there are shepherds and there are sheep. And Lindsay is a major sheep. [imitates sheep noises]
Lindsay: [Confessional] I think she really respects me and my strategical ideas.
Heather: [Confessional] I've got flip-flops with more brains than her. But hey, she's useful right now, so I'll keep her close. And when I don't need her anymore, I'll dump her.
Lindsay: The entire viewing world who?
Lindsay: [Confessional; Questions how nice Heather actually is] Okay, that was a limited edition. I'll never be able to get that nail polish back! I'm starting to think that maybe Heather isn't such a nice person after all!
[Bridgette got eliminated because of The guys' alliance targeted her and voted her off because she was likable and good at sports]
Chris: Ok, that was a shocker. Even I'm shocked, and I knew the answer.

That's Off the Chain! [1.18][edit]

[After Heather crossed the finish line and gained immunity]
Chris: That’s not exactly true. Heather is safe because her bike crossed the line first, but since Duncan and Owen wiped out and didn’t complete the race… they technically didn’t cross the line at all. Which makes you the last one to cross the line. Which means it’s Dock of Shame time, baby.
Lindsay: Okay, I’m so confused.
Heather: It means I can’t save you unless I give you my invincibility. But I can’t do that. Too risky. You understand.
Lindsay: But I won. I even built your bike.
Heather: [after she laughs nervously] I don’t know what she’s talking about. You should just leave with your dignity intact. It will make you seem much more cuter in the instant replays.
[Gwen gasped in shock]
Lindsay: But we were going to the final 3 together.
Heather: Guess we’re not.
Lindsay: Aren’t you even sad? We’re BFF's.
Heather: Yeah, for the contest. I mean, it’s not like we’re gonna be best friends for life or anything. [Lindsay gasped]
Lindsay: [Confessional, gasps] I can’t believe she said that! [Confessional off] I can’t believe you just said that! But we pinkie swore! You mean, I’ve been helping you all this time and you didn’t even like me?
Heather: Uh, truth? Not really, no. [Lindsay gasped] What? We’re not here to make friends, we’re here to become celebrities, remember?
Duncan: Ooh, that’s cold, brah.
Heather: [scoffs] Oh, like you’re such a team player. All you do is go around scaring the crap/snot out of everyone.
Duncan: At least I’m straight with people!
Heather: Whatever. I have invincibility. No one can touch me.
Gwen: This week.
Lindsay: You really are mean! And all that bad stuff people say about you is true! Like how you're a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little [gives Heather the finger, very long bleep]/no good, selfish, heartless, pushy, bossy, mean bully of a girl! I always told them they were wrong. I stood up for you, because I thought we were BFF's! But they're right! You really are a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little [very long bleep]/no good, selfish, heartless, pushy, bossy, mean bully of a girl! And guess what? I don't wanna be BFF's anymore! I'd rather spend the day staring at Owen's butt than shopping with you! And P.S, your shoes are tacky!
[Competitors laughing]
Gwen: You tell her!
[Owen laughs and Common loon laughs]
Heather: Oh. Go jump in the piranha pool!
Lindsay: [Confessional] I don’t know what came over me. Oh, wait! Yes I do! Heather’s a total-[very short bleep]/no good, selfish-.
Duncan: [Confessional] Me and my brothers had stolen bikes from the nerds down the street and smashed them against the school wall.
Izzy: My brother was previously an auto mechanic before getting hit by a car, developing a fear of all motor vehicles afterward.
[Lindsay got eliminated and thanks to Heather, she crossed the finish line second, but since Owen and Duncan couldn't make it to the finish line, due to their bikes being destroyed, by a technicality, she was the last to cross the finish line]
Lindsay: Thanks for all your support, Greta. I love you, Laquisha.
LeShawna: Take care, girlfriend. If it makes you feel better, we would’ve kept you on.
Lindsay: Really? Thanks. Kick Heather’s butt for me.
LeShawna: My pleasure.
Lindsay: Bye guys! See you at the finale! Aww, I think I’m gonna miss you the most.
Owen: [cries in loudly] Me too! Bye!
Lindsay: Good luck, Heather. I hope you get everything your karma owes you. Okay. I’m ready.

Hook, Line and Screamer [1.19][edit]

Owen: It was a joke. Too funny. I was all, "AHHHH", and you were all, "EEEEE".
Gwen: Okay. Rule number 1: Don’t go off on your own. Rule number 2: If you do go off on your own, don’t go into the woods. Rule number 3: If you do go into the woods, never ever make out in the woods, or you will die in the woods. [notices Izzy and Owen missing] Where’s Izzy and Owen?
Duncan: Breaking rules 1 through 3.
Gwen: Okay. Now that I’ve drawn a chart of all the players, we can... [notices Geoff and DJ missing] Where’s DJ and Geoff?
Duncan: DJ had to take a leak, so he took Party Boy with him.
Gwen: [notices LeShawna missing] Where’s LeShawna?
Duncan: She went to get some chow.
Gwen: [confessional] Doesn’t anyone listen to me?
LeShawna: [after rushing to the tent, after getting caught by Chef, as the killer] Whoo-Hoo-Hoo! I did not see that coming! No way!
[DJ got eliminated because he ran away before the Killer even got to him, automatically eliminating him]
Chris: [about DJ's elimination] Well, it's obvious to everyone that Gwen wins invincibility. Sadly, it's equally unanimous that DJ walk the Dock of Shame since he was the only one who screamed and bolted without the escape psycho killer even being there. But, no hard feelings, dude. You will be missed.
Owen: Awww, group hug!
[Everyone hugged DJ.]

Wawanakwa Gone Wild! [1.20][edit]

Duncan: Have you seen Heather?
Izzy: Who?
Duncan: About ye tall, long dark hair, hot, [sticks fingers up like antlers] wearing deer antlers.
[Heather comes out from a bush and passes out from tranquilizer dart on her butt]
Izzy: Whoops...
[Duncan starts to laugh maniacally at the situation, in the confessional]
Izzy: My uncle is an artist. He tries to emulate Vincent Van Gogh by cutting off part of his ear, but became scared midway, leaving part of it hanging, but then apparently fell into my salad.
[Izzy had her second elimination when she shot Heather, Chef Hatchet, a plane, and a horse with a tranquilizer gun due to having bad hunting skills and being too crazy.]
Chris: Izzy, Gwen. One of you has spent your last night on Total Drama Island.
Heather: [paralyzed] Just give it to Gwen already!
Chris: Ehh... [he shrugs and tosses the last marshmallow to Gwen]
Izzy: [casually] Ah, we've all gotta go sometime, right?.
Owen: You could make out with me first, if that would cushion the blow...?
Izzy: Goodnight, everybody! Thanks for comin' out! [throws a smoke pellet to the ground and vanishes; everyone else looks shocked]

Trial by Tri-Armed Triathlon [1.21][edit]

Geoff: You've never been to a party?
Gwen: No, okay? Sometimes I wish I had been. That for just one day I could be one of those happy, vapid girls who gets along with everyone, and who is all excited to eat massive amounts of sugar, and do karaoke, and cheerleading and ponytails. I just don't think it's in my DNA.
Owen: [Confessional] Mama always said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." In which case Heather would say NOTHING ever! She is the MEANEST, the NASTIEST, the [lets out a long bleep]/BIGGEST COLD-HEARTED MEANIE IN ALL OF KALAMAZOO! No offence.
Heather: [with Owen inside the confessional] Oh. None taken. I sort of respect you for it. Never do it again!
[Geoff got eliminated because his happy attitude and popularity was a threat to all the campers]
Geoff: [after he got eliminated] No sweat Gwen. Chow dudes.
Gwen: Wait! I have something for you! [runs up to Geoff]
Geoff: My lens!
Gwen: I went back to Boney Island. I'm sorry. There might be just a little bit of white Wawanakwa in it.
Geoff: Makes it a better souvenir right?
Gwen: Right. Bye Geoff and thanks. [walks away but gets caught by Geoff for a photo.
Geoff: Wait up! Say cheese! [takes picture]

Haute Camp-ture [1.22][edit]

Chris: Welcome to Playa des Losers. The all-inclusive luxury resort where our sent after being brutally voted out of the game to lick their wounds and accept their fate as reality show has-beens. When we are down to the two final competitors, their fate will be in the hands of these 17 losers!
Cody: [walking up to the grill, fully sunburned] After I got my body cast off and the stitches removed, I started to realize this place is pretty sweet!
Trent: [off-screen] Yo, Cody! Need some sunscreen? You're lookin' a bit pink, dude.
Cody: No thanks! I'm trying to get a tan. It attracts the ladies.
Lindsay: I love being a loser! This is so much more my style. If I'd known how phat this place was, I would've gotten my butt kicked off in the first episode. Plus, now Tyler and I can hang out.
Courtney: I don't care how nice this place is. I'm not supposed to be here. After I was kicked off, I found out exactly what went on the night I was eliminated. [Flashback to Harold tampering the votes as a way to get Duncan back by picking on him] It was all Harold's fault! I should be in the final five right now! When I find that little twerp, I'm going to grab hold of him, and wring his skinny awkward little neck! [hears Harold hiding behind some bushes after hearing what she said] You hear me, Harold?! I know you're hiding around here somewhere! He has to come out, sometime. And when he does, he's going to get it!
Harold: Okay. I guess what I did to Courtney was pretty heinous. It's just that Duncan wouldn't stop bugging me and stuff. But I'm so starving. [his gut gurgles and looks over to Courtney pulling out a lamppost to find and pulverize him] This bites! Psst. Hey, Trent. Slide me some bologna.
Trent: Yeah… what the heck?
Ezekiel: Dude, why are you helping him? He's a traitor, eh?
Trent: True. But he doesn't deserve to starve to death. And he sure can't come out here.
Lindsay: You just would have been kicked off in another episode. No one liked you that much.
Courtney: [gasps in shock] That is so not true! Everyone likes me! I used to be a CIT! [gets hit on the head by a falling coconut] Ow! This is a coconut. We're in Muskoka, people! If you're going to drop props on my head, at least make them geographically correct!
Eva: Heather can kiss my butt! It's all her fault I'm stuck in this place! She's a scum-sucking, backstabbing witch and I'm going to enjoy her watching her go down!
Chris: Wow. Tell us how you really feel.
Eva: I just did.
Izzy: Okay, well, I think Heather is a total psycho.
Courtney: Heather is a formidable competitor, but I can't say I approve of her tactics. I mean, reading Gwen's diary in front of the whole world? So uncalled for.
Harold: Heather was definitely the scariest female on the island. But I can handle her. Did you hear something?
Courntey: [finally founds Harold behind the bushes and starts attacking him] There you are, you little traitor!
Trent: Poor sucker.
Lindsay: Wow. Glad she wasn't my CIT.
Chris: So, Trent and Lindsay, give us your take on Heather.
Trent: I hope I never meet anyone like her ever again.
Lindsay: She is really mean, like, really mean.
Beth: [to the viewers about telling the time she stood up to Heather in the paintball deer hunting challenge, quitting her alliance] Telling her off was the best moment of my life.
DJ: Duncan? Man, that is one tough dude. I saw him wrestle a grizzly bear to the ground. [slams the table, accidentally sending Bunny flying] Oh, no! Bunny!
Harold: Duncan? I hate that guy. [flashback to all the bully pranks Duncan pulled on him] He made me pee my pants. He drew on my face with a marker. He strung my underwear up a flagpole, put hot sauce in them, and fed them to me for lunch in an underwear sandwich! He's beyond annoying. Idiot! [falls off from the tree]
Bridgette: Duncan's not as tough as he seems. Courtney told me he has a sweet side to him.
Lindsay: Well, I think he's pretty cruel. Anyone who treats deer and trees badly is not a friend to deer or trees.
Lindsay: [talking about Gwen] She was kind of harsh sometimes. Oh, but she played the best prank on Heather!
[Flashback to when Gwen dumped Harold's red ant farm into Heather's bed by getting revenge on her for reading her diary to the world]
Bridgette: I think Gwen's really cool. Her and Leshawna were so nice to me when we merged teams. I'd vote for either of them to win.
[Chris announced that a verbal vote-off would happen between the eliminated campers to decide who was going to be eliminated. However, he considered the mentioning of any contestants name as a vote.]
Chris: Here's how it's gonna work! There are no marshmallows. I'm gonna ask you, 1 by 1, who you would like to see join you here tonight at Playa Des Losers. [eyeing the first of the voters] Katie and Sadie, since you share a brain, I'll ask you both. Who would you like to vote for?
Sadie: [giddily] Ohh! I miss Leshawna the most! [a bell dings signifying a vote against Leshawna]
Katie: Ohhh! It would be so much fun to have her here! Definitely Leshawna! [bell dings]
[Everyone gasps]
Courtney: Why are you voting her off!? If you like Leshawna, [bell dings] leave her in!
Chris: That's 3 votes: Leshawna.
Courtney: What? NO!
Harold: You're just voting off my girlfriend to spite me. [hits Courtney]
Courtney: Let go of me, you big geek!
[Harold and Courtney start having a slap fight, and eventually, fall into the pool]
Noah: Excellent!
Chris: Okay! Onto the next voter: Lindsay.
Lindsay: Don't worry! I'm not going to say Leshawna. [bell dings]
DJ: Lindsay!
Lindsay: No! You can't vote for me! You have to vote for someone who's in the final 5, like Leshawna. [bell dings]
Izzy: Okay! C'mon, guys! NO ONE SAY "LESHAWNA"! [bell dings as Izzy gasps and covers her mouth]
Chris: [in background] That's 6 votes Leshawna.
Talking Parrot: Awk! Leshawna! [bell dings]
Everyone: NO!
Chris: 7 votes Leshawna.
Trent: Chris, that was a parrot! It doesn't even know who Leshawna is! [bell dings]
Talking Parrot: Awk! Polly want a Leshawna! [bell dings]
Chris: [enthusiastically] 9! [Trent slaps his forehead]
[Leshawna gets shocked when she was voted off with 9 "votes" and gets into the Boat of Losers by Chef much to her horror]

Camp Castaways [1.23][edit]

[Mr. Coconut's elimination]
Owen: Oh no, you don't mean...
Chris: Yep. It's time for Mr. Coconut to walk the Dock of Shame.
Owen: BUT WHY?!
Chris: [takes Mr. Coconut away from Owen] Get it together, dude. You're starting to creep me out. [throws him away]
Owen: MR. COCONUT! NO!
Heather: By the way, what we can can fest back there. Stays back there.
Duncan: Oh yeah.
Gwen: No argument.
Owen: [as Mr. Coconut is thrown into the lake] Don't worry Mr. Coconut. I shall never let go!

Are We There, Yeti? [1.24][edit]

Owen: It's all good except 1 thing's missing... foooooood!
Heather: [confessional, after the boys escaped on a river with a raft] Umm. Using the river was brilliant. Well played, boys! Well played!
[Duncan got eliminated because he caused all the trouble in the entire season]
Heather: What can I say? You could have scored an alliance with me, but you blew it.
Gwen: You played the game well. Sorry that you had to lose over a sticky bun.
Owen: I-I-I- [burps]
Duncan: Whatever.

I Triple Dog Dare You [1.25][edit]

[Gwen spins first and gets Duncan]
Chris: Lick Owen's armpit. [Gwen, Heather, and Owen are shocked] Gwen, you can perform the dare yourself, or dare one of your competitors to do it. [chuckles] Either way, someone's licking some armpit in the next minute.
Gwen: I triple dog dare Heather.
Owen: You could imagine that you’re licking an ice cream cone.
Heather: Shut up, Owen!
Owen: Minus the BO.
Heather: I'm warning you! [she licks it]
Owen: Oh, and the pit hair.
[Heather gags]
Chris: Oh, man! That was so sick! I nearly puked! ...Nearly.
[Heather spins and gets Ezekiel]
Chris: Ezekiel's dare is, chew your own toenail, slowly.
Heather: Gwen! I dare Gwen. Don’t choke on it, honey. [Gwen sits down, take off her shoe, Chef cuts a piece of her toenail, and begins to chew it] Uh uh uh. He said chew it slowly.
Gwen: [does so and gulps] There. Satisfied?
Heather: Very. I'm just picturing Trent watching this. And something tells me he won’t be eager to lock lips with you anytime soon.
Gwen: You should talk, pit breath.
[Owen spins and gets Beth]
Chris: Beth. Re-chewing a wad of Harold’s gum.
Owen: I will take the dare!
Gwen and Heather: Ew!
Chris: Dude. It's chewed gum. Harold's chewed gum.
Owen: I know. But it must be pretty special if he's saving it. [Chef takes out Harold's chewed gum and gives it to Owen as he eats it] Mm. Full body. A delicate fruity aroma with a hint of citrus. [laughs] Robust, yet balanced. Ooh! Summery. Ooh! And a crunchy center. [the scene does a close-up at Harold's face of him picking his nose as Chris and Chef gag as Owen blows and pops his old gum] Woohoo!
Chris: Owen wins the first freebie! And a tetanus shot! If you want.
Owen: Nah, I'm good. Thanks.
Gwen: [confessional] This could be harder than I thought.
Heather: My turn! And I'm taking the dare, I don't care what it is!
[Heather spins and gets Tyler]
Heather: [confessional] There is no way I was letting those nerdlings get ahead of me. I mean, how bad could the dare be? I’d already licked Owen’s armpit.
[Chef pours nine spoonfuls of jelly into Owen's navel]
Owen: Sorry.
Heather: Shut up, Owen!
Owen: Twice in a row's gotta suck/hurt.
Heather: I mean it!
Owen: Especially since I never wash in there. [Heather gags] Not ’cause I don’t want to. I just forget. [Heather slurps] Hey! You didn’t puke this time! [Heather retches and vomits]
Chris: [to Chef] You still cool? [Chef nervously nods; Heather was put on life support] Okay. We’ll give Heather a few more minutes on life support before we start the next round. Okay. Chef made snacks. PB&J anyone? [Heather pukes]
[Heather spins and gets Geoff]
Chris: Drink powdered fruit punch from the communal toilet. [Heater points to Gwen] Quite the predicament, Gwen. Do you use the freebie? Or do I save it for an even sicker dare down the road? What to do? What to do?
Gwen: [inhales] I'm going in.
Chris: [confessional] So freakin'/totally sick. Chef’s going down. [in the toilet room with Chef and Gwen] No way. That’s so gross! [laughs]
[Gwen takes the straw and drinks powdered fruit punch from the communal toilet and starts to throw up. Both Chris and Chef were ready to do the same but they hold their mouths and swallow their vomit]
[Owen spins and gets Cody]
Chris: Eat dog food.
Owen: Yeah, baby! Man, sorry, guys. I keep getting all the good ones!
Chris: [chuckles] Okay! Down, boy! Heel! Dude, you have two freebies you can use. Better yet, you could dare an opponent. Like, say, one without a freebie?
Gwen: You still have a bit of jelly on your lower lip.
Heather: Oh, go stick your face back in the toilet.
Owen: It's cool, bro! My dog digs this food. Time to find out what I've been missing! Haha. [eats noisily] Meaty tasting.
[Chris is the first to puke, thus losing the bet. Chef is the next to vomit, followed by Gwen and Heather.]
Chris: [confessional] Okay. That was so gross! [vomits] Is there nothing these freaks/weirdos won’t do?
Heather: Hello? Ix-nay on the onspiracy-cay! That is totally unfair! Get out your rule book and do your rule checking thing! They're obviously gonna gang up and whoop me with dares! There as to be a rule about this kind of thing!
Chris: Sorry. Them’s the rules. Not a rule to be had. Nada. [Gwen spins the wheel and it lands on Courtney] Drink a blended purée of Chef's mystery meats.
Gwen: Eenie, meenie, minie, Heather!
[Heather drinks the blended purée and completes the dare. Later, it shows a montage of Heather doing dare after dare, which includes swimming in leeches, acting like a chicken, slapping herself, eating a cockroach, do the Princess and the Frog re-enactment with Chef's socks and finally gets her head doused in pig feces and gets blasted out of a cannon into a pile of pig feces.]
[Gwen spins and gets Lindsay]
Heather: Finally I catch a break. There's no way Lindsay could think of anything bad.
Chris: Ooh, you're not gonna like this one. Have your head-shaved by Chef!
Heather: WHAT!?
Gwen: [gives Owen a high-five] Lindsay rules!
Chris: What's it gonna be Heather? Are you going to do the dare, or the Walk of Shame?
[Heather starts getting worried thinking about that razor, the Dock of Shame and the prize money, and Gwen and Owen are getting intense and then, Heather couldn't take it much longer and she kicks the razor and it flings in the air]
Heather: No! [the razor lands on her and she gets her head shaved and clumps of hair fly out as Heather gets bald] Huh? Wha?! Ugh!
Chris: Wow! Well that was an unfortunate accident... looks like Heather's out.
Heather: [after her head was shaved] What are you talking about? He shaved my head!
Chris: True, but you didn't actually accept the dare. If you had, you'd still be bald, but at least you'd be in the game!
Owen: That was harsh, tough break.
[Heather angrily screams as the birds fly even the eliminated contestants, a squirrel gets shocked too as well]
Chris: [as Heather grabs him by the shirt] Sorry. That's the rules.
Heather: [angrily] I thought you said there weren't any rules!
Chris: Yeah, I know. It's complicated. But here's the rub: you lose, they win.
Gwen and Owen: No way! [Owen gets up, dances and laughs] We won! Yes!
Heather: Fine, but you'll be hearing from my lawyers! [walks away]
Chris: Yeah, yeah. [gave Chef the keys to the boat] I know. It's gonna be a long ride.
[Heather got eliminated because of Gwen and Owen teamed up against her, and she failed a dare on a technicality]
Heather: [furious] A long ride to court, where I sue you for everything you've got!
Chris: And then there were two. Tune in to see who will win the check for $100,000 on Total Drama Island.
Heather: [furious] You want drama? You'll be penniless! Jobless! Your name will be mud on every blog from here to Cape Breton!

The Very Last Episode, Really! [1.26][edit]

[the finalists have a series of confessionals]
Owen: I had a WICKED time! (recap) It was awesome! (in the recap) Yeah! Who's the man?
Gwen: What was it like being here for 8 weeks? (recap) It sucked/stank, that's what.
Chef Hatchet: You think it's easy cooking for 22 ungrateful teenagers? Man I've had better jobs in prison.
Owen: The food was awesome! (recap) Aah!
Chef Hatchet: At least someone's appreciative. Slavin' all day at the hot stove.
Gwen: The food... (recap) ...was disgusting.
Chef Hatchet: Less rat droplets. Does this look like a 5-star restaurant to you?
Owen: And the people were just awesome!
Gwen: The people here...sucked/stank. They were nothing but a bunch of (recap) backstabbing, manipulative (Heather), two-timing (Trent), fame hungry (Justin), dim-witted (Lindsay), certifiably insane (Izzy), really weird (Harold), psychotic (Duncan), redneck (Ezekiel), overbearing (Eva), goody-goody (Courtney), know-it-all (Noah), party obsessed (Geoff), jerks. I was lucky enough to meet five people (Bridgette, Cody, DJ, Leshawna, Owen) who were actually sane.
Owen: The one thing I'll be remembered for? Uh...(recap; fart montage) I hope my great personality. (farts)
Gwen: What will I be remembered for? (recap) My great personality. Ok, I'm done here.
Owen: [hears his stomach rumbling] Oh. Oh, oh no! Quick! W-Where’s the bathroom out here?!
Chris: Owen, no! Not in the confession can!
[Izzy, Courtney, DJ, Duncan, and Geoff gasped]
Owen: [farting] Ahh… Haha.
Lindsay: Oh no! Gwen is winning! Our yacht party is in jeopardy!
Geoff: Dudes! We have to do something!
Izzy: Wait, I have a plan! Has anyone seen a really big electric fan here?
Chris: Sure. Got one in my trailer.
Geoff: You do?
Chris: Do you think I get this windblown look naturally?
Izzy: Get it, and meet me back here! Run!
Izzy: Hot brownies comin’ through. Lindsay, the fan! Now!
[when Lindsay turns a big electric fan on, it accidentally blows Heather's wig off instead]
Heather: Ahh! My wig! Can't you freaks/fools do anything right?!
Leshawna: [angry] Ooh, that's it! I've had about enough of that girl. [grunts as she grabs Heather to walk and throw her into confession can when it locked up]
Heather: [inside the confession; screaming] Let me out of here! Ugh! Leshawna! Oh my gosh… Owen! You are so gross!
[first winner of the series; Owen's ending]
Chris: Here we are at the last bonfire ever. After eight brutal weeks, it is my pleasure to announce the winner of Total Drama Island: Owen!
Owen: Hey, what can I say Chris? I'm so psyched! This is just...
Gwen, Trent, Leshawna and Tyler: Awesome?
Owen: Yes!
Geoff: Yo, Owen, do you know what it's time for? [Owen grins evilly at Chris]
Chris: No, no, guys... my hair! DUUUUUUUDES!!!
[gets thrown into the lake by Owen, Duncan and Geoff]
Chef: I've been wanting to do that all summer! How do you like that, pretty boy?! Huh?!
Geoff: Oh, Cheeeef...
Owen: [laughs] You're next, dude!
[Gwen's ending]
Chris: After eight grueling weeks, it is my pleasure to give this $100,000 check, to the last camper standing... Gwen! Gwen, at this time I give you the ultimate symbol of survival on this island: The final marshmallow.
Owen: Yeah, you deserve it! It's just such a bummer about the party...
Gwen: Well, after I pay for my tuition, there may be enough left over for a rockin' party... And everyone's invited! Everyone except Heather. [Heather frowns]
Owen: Whoo-hoo-hoo! Party, anyway! Are you gonna bring someone...special, Gwen? Hey? Hey? Hey?
Gwen: [looks at Trent] If he'll go with me...?
Trent: So, does this mean...
Gwen: Oh, shut up, already. YES, I'll go out with you! [Gwen and Trent hug]

Special[edit]

Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island[edit]

Chris: I introduce the winner of Total Drama Island as the youngest of 3 brothers, Owen.
Katie: Justin’s taking a long time.
Sadie: Let’s play Magic Square.
Katie: Oh, okay! Who will Katie hook up with tonight? Justin! Yay!
Sadie: Justin? But he has a crush on me!
Katie: Says who?
Sadie: Says the magic square! Watch! Who is Justin crushing on? Sadie!
Katie: [gasps] You fully stole him from me!
Sadie: Um, earth to Katie. I can’t steal someone who isn’t yours!
Katie: Um, earth to traitor. Just because Billy Carlisle liked me better in fourth grade?
Sadie: He did not like you better! You gave him your PB&J sandwich so he’d ask you to the dance! If I had PB&J that day or even just a P, he’d have taken me!
Katie: [gasps] That is it! We are so done as friends! [storms off]
Sadie: I don’t care because I’m SO much more done than you are! [storms off as well]
Eva: Watch it! It's a trap!
Noah: Justin. The anti-me. So we meet again.
Izzy: Whatever you guys do, don't look him in the eyes! He has powers.
Justin: Give me the case.
Izzy: Back off, really hot guy!
Justin: I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. (Takes off his shirt)
Harold: Me and Leshawna can move together to my mom's basement when we turn thirty.
Izzy: [confessional] I scared my grandpa so badly that he wet his pants one time.
Chris: So, you lost the case! Way to go! I didn't wanna have to do this! But, since none of the 14 of you officially won, you officially tie!
[Cody, Tyler, Noah, Ezekiel, Courtney, Katie, Sadie and Eva arrived on the docks very late]
Chris: As for the rest of you, your treasure hunt ends here! Along with all your hopes of ever winning any money off of being on this show. The good news though, you'll be watching all the action of season 2 from the sidelines!
Courtney: Wait a minute! I wanna be on season 2!
Chris: [To Courtney] Tut-tut-tut-tut. Fine print.
Courtney: [Confessional, furious about not qualifying for season 2] Oh, That is it! If they thought they knew they were in trouble before, they're in huge trouble now!
Chris: In exactly 2 days, you will all report to a brand new location for a whole new challenge and the last one standing will receive $1,000,000! So don't forget to tune in to Total Drama Action!

Audition Tapes[edit]

Ezekiel[edit]

Ezekiel: Is it on? Okay. Watch this guys! I'm gonna bag me a big old moose! [blows a kazoo] Mom? Mom?! Oh shoot! I'm sorry!

Eva[edit]

Eva: 57, 58, 59, 60. You see that? I'm the only girl in school who can do more than 10 pull-ups. So whatever you can throw at me I can handle it. Hey! You're dead! Do you hear me?! So, if you want a strong competitor who gets along with everyone pick me. You can edit this right? Awesome. Thanks.

Noah[edit]

Noah: Hey I'm Noah. (winks) You may have not know me but I will because I'm going places. See? I got a plan.
Joey: Hey Noah. Way to go on winning class president. You deserve it man.
Noah: Thanks Joey. See? I got smarts and that's what wins with me in. Trust me. I got this one in the bag.

Justin[edit]

Voice: Justin. Justin. Justin.

Tyler[edit]

Tyler: What you need on this show is a real athlete, and I'm your man! Yeah, baby! Catch this action!

Izzy's First Audition[edit]

Izzy: Okay, so there are some things you should know about me. Um, I'm really loyal, and I'm like so smart you have no idea. Maybe even a genius. And the thing I'm best at is, I'm awesome at twirling fire batons! Okay you ready? Okay!
[Izzy twirls the fire baton until she throws it up to the ceiling, the fire sprinklers came on]
Izzy: Oops! Okay, should not do that indoors. Sorry mom!

Cody[edit]

Cody: (rapping) Girl, you know it's true, you make me feel so blue! When you don't come around, I was lost and now I'm found! Come on-
Cody's Dad: [calling offscreen] Cody! What did I tell you about making all that noise?!
Cody: [calling] Sorry, Dad! [to the camera] He just doesn't get it. I'm gonna be a superstar one day. Even bigger-

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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