Chris McLean: Welcome back to Total Drama Island. All right, It's time to meet our first 11 campers. We told them they'd all be staying at a five star resort, so if they seem a little T.O.ed, that's probably why. Beth, what's up?
Beth: It's so incredulous to meet you. Wow, you're much shorter in real life.
Chris McLean: Uh, thanks. DJ.
DJ: Yo, Chris McLean. How's it going? Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where's the hot tub at?
Chris McLean: Yo, dawg. This is it. Camp Wawanakwa.
DJ: Hmph. Looked a lot different in a application form.
Chris McLean: Hey, Gwen.
Gwen: You mean we're staying here?
Chris McLean: No, you're staying here. My crib is an airstream with A.C. That-a-way.
Gwen: I did not sign up for this.
Chris McLean: Actually, you did. The great thing about lawyers is...they makes lots of copies.
Gwen: I am not staying here.
Chris McLean: Cool, I hope you can swim through, because you ride just left.
Geoff: Chris McLean! Sup, man. It's an honor to meet you, man!
Chris McLean: The Geoff-ster. Welcome to the island, man!
Geoff: Thanks, man.
Gwen: If they say "Man" one more time, I'm gonna puke.
Chris McLean: Everybody, this is Lindsay. Not too shabby.
Lindsay: Hi. Okay, you look so familiar!
Chris McLean: I'm Chris McLean. The host of the show.
Lindsay: Oh, that's where I know you from.
Chris McLean: Uh, Yeah. Heather.
Beth: Hi! Looks like we're your new friends for the next 8 weeks!
Chris McLean: Duncan, dude.
Duncan: I don't like surprises.
Chris McLean: Yeah, Your parole officer warned me about that, man. He also told me to give him a holler any time and have you return to juvie.
Duncan: Okey, then. Meet you by the campfire, gorgeous.
Heather: Drop-dead, you skeez. I'm calling my parents. You cannot make me stay here.
Chris McLean: Ladies and Gentlemen, Tyler!
Heather: Ugh! My shoes!
Chris McLean: Wicked wipeout, man! (snickers)
Chris McLean: Welcome to camp, Harold.
Beth: What's he looking at?
Harold: So, you mean this show is at a crappy summer camp and not on some big stage or something?
Chris McLean: you got it.
Harold: Yes. That is so much more favorable to my skills.
Chris McLean: Contestant Number 9, is Trent.
Trent: Hey, good to meet you, man. I saw you on that figure-skating show. nice work.
Chris McLean: Hey, thanks, man. I knew I rocked that show!
Beth: I saw that. One of the guys dropped his partner on her head. So they got immunity that week.
Harold: Lucky! I hope I get dropped on my head.
Lindsay: Me too!
Trent: So, this is it? All righty then.
Bridgette: Hey, what's up.
Chris McLean: All right. Our Surfer chick, Bridgette is here!
Duncan: (scoffs) Nice board. This ain't Malibu, Honey.
Bridgette: I thought we were going to be on a beach.
Chris McLean: We are!
Chris McLean: All right, that makes..[he got bumped by Bridgette's surf board] Ow! Darn it! that hurts.
Bridgette: Hey, guys.
Geoff: Hey! I'm Geoff.
Bridgette: What's up?
Harold: Dang! Watch the board, man!
Beth: Hi! I'm Beth!
Heather: OK, we've all met surfer girl. Can we get on with the show, please?
Duncan: Someone missed their double cappucino macchiato this morning.
Heather: Get bent.
Chris McLean: Our...next camper is Noah.
Noah: You got my memo about my life-threatening allergies?
Chris McLean: I'm sure someone did.
Noah: Good. Is this where we're staying?
Duncan: No, It's your mother's house, and we're throwing a party.
Noah: Cute, nice piercings, original, do them yourself?
Duncan: Yeah. You want one?
Noah: Uh, no thanks. Can I have my lips back, please? Thanks.
LeShawna: What's up, y'all? LeShawna's in a house!
LeShawna: Yo, baby, hey, how are you doing? How's it going? Feel free to quit now and save yourselves the trouble, 'cause I came to win. Oh, what's up, my brother? Give me some sugar, baby.
Harold: I've never seen a girl like you in real life before.
LeShawna: Excuse me?
Harold: You're real big and loud.
LeShawna: What did you say to me?! Oh no, you didn't! You have not seen anything yet. I'll show you big, baby! Oh, yeah, you want some of this!? Well, come on, then!
Chris McLean: Alright, campers, settle down. Ladies. Sadie? Katie? Welcome to your new home for 8 weeks.
Katie: Oh my gosh! Sadie, look. It's a summer camp!
Sadie: Okay, I always wanted to go to summer camp. Eeee!!
Chris McLean: Ezekial. What's up, man?
Ezekial: I think I see a bird.
Chris McLean: OK, Look, dude. I know you don't get out much. Been home-schooled you whole life, raised by freaky prarie people, Just don't say much and try not to get kicked off too early, okay?
Ezekial: Yes, sir.
Gwen: That's just...wow.
Chris McLean: Cody. The Code-ster. The Code-Meister.
Cody: Dude, psyched to be here, man. I see the ladies have already arrived, alright.
LeShawna: Save it, short stuff.
Chris McLean: Eva? Nice. I glad you could make it.
Cody: Ow! What's in there, dumbbells?
Duncan: She's all yours, man.
Owen: Woo-Hoo! Chris, What's happening? (laughing) This is awesome! Woo-hoo!!
Chris McLean: Owen, Welcome!
Owen: Awesome to be here, man. Yeah, man. this is just so...
Owen: Yes, Awesome! Woo!!! Are you gonna be on my team?
Gwen: Oh, I sure hope so.
Chris McLean: You about finished?
Owen: Sorry, dude. I'm just so psyched!
Chris McLean: Cool. And here comes Courtney.
Courtney: Thank you. Hi! You must be the other contestants. It's really nice to meet you all.
Owen: How's it going? I'm Owen.
Courtney: Nice to meet you, O...Wow.
Chris McLean: This is Justin. Welcome to Total Drama Island.
Justin: Thanks, Chris. This is great.
Chris McLean: Just so you know, We picked you based entirely on your looks.
Justin: I can deal with that.
Owen: I like your pants.
Justin: Thanks, Man.
Owen: 'Cause they look like they're all worn out. (chuckles) Did you buy them like that?
Justin: Uh, no. just had them for a while.
Owen: Oh, cool. Stupid!
Chris McLean: Hey, everyone. Izzy!
Izzy: Hi, Chris. Hi! Hi. Ow!
Tyler: Ooh! that was bad. (laughs)
Courtney: Guys, she could be seriously hurt!
Izzy: That felt so...good! Except for hitting my chin. This is summer camp? That is so cool! Do you have paper-mache here? Are we having lunch soon?
Owen: That is a good call!
Chris McLean: This is Camp Wawanakwa, you home for the next 8 weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. you dig? The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000.
Duncan: Excuse me, what will the sleeping arrangements be, because I'd like to request a bunk under her?
Heather: They're not coed, are they?
Chris McLean: No. Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other.
Lindsay: Excuse me, Kyle? Can I have a cabin with a lake view since I'm prettiest?
Chris McLean: Okay, you are. But that's not really how it works here. And it's Chris.
Katie: I have to live with Sadie, or I'll die.
Sadie: And I'll break out in hives. It's true.
Gwen: This cannot be happening.
Owen: Aw, come on, guys, It'll be fun! It's like a big sleepover!
Tyler: At least you don't have to sleep next to him.
Chris McLean: Here's a deal. We're gonna split you into 2 teams. If I call your name out, go stand over there. Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Katie, Owen, LeShawna, Justin, and Noah. From this moment on, You are officially known as...The Screaming Gophers!
Owen: Yeah! I'm a Gopher! Woo!
Katie: Wait, what about Sadie?
Chris McLean: The rest of you, over here. Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Izzy, Courtney, Ezekial, Duncan, Eva, and Harold. Move, move, move!
Sadie: But Katie is a gopher. I have to be a gopher!
Courtney: Sadie, is it? come on. It'll be okay.
Sadie: This is so unfair. I miss you, Katie!
Katie: I miss you, too!
Chris McLean: You guys will officially known as...The Killer Bass!
Harold: It's awesome. It's, like...amazing.
Chris McLean: All right, campers! You and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition. (Confessional) You'll also be able to share you innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries any time you want. Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking, or just get something off your chest.
Gwen: (Confessional) Um, okay. so far this sucks.
Lindsay: (Confessional) I don't get it where's the camera guy.
Owen: (Confessional) Hey, everyone. check this out. I have something very important to say. (farts and laughing)
Chris McLean: Alright, any questions? Cool. Let's find your cabin. Gophers, you're in the East cabin. Bass, you're in the West.
Heather: Bunk beds? Isn't this a little summer camp?
Gwen: That's the idea, genius.
Heather: Shut up, weird goth girl.
Cody: You're so smart. I feel that.
Gwen: Shouldn't you be on the Boys' side?
Lindsay: Where are the outlets? I have to plug in my straightening iron.
Chris McLean: There are some in the communal bathrooms just across the way.
Lindsay: (both UK & USA dubs) Communal Bathrooms? I'm not catholic. (Canadian dub) Where's the spa? I'm confused.
Chris McLean: (both UK & USA dubs) Not Communion, Communal. (Canadian dub) Wow, that was shocker.
Gwen: It means we shower together. Idiot.
Lindsay: Oh, no! Come on!
Owen: I'm glad we're in our own cabin with just guys. You know what I mean? (chuckles) I mean no, I didn't mean it like that! I love chicks! I just don't want to sleep near them. (stammers) I mean...
Geoff: Excuse me, Chris? Is there a chaperone of any kind of this facility?
Chris McLean: You're all 16 years old, as old as a counselor in training at a regular summer camp. So, other than myself, you'll be unsupervised. You've got half an hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge starting now.
LeShawna: Oh, man, that white girl can scream.
Lindsay: What is it?! Kill it! Kill it!
[The cockroach crawls on a floor, DJ gasped and screamed and he jumped onto a bunk bed]
Gwen: That...was my bed.
Cockroach: Help me. [get chopped by an axe]
Gwen: Well, that's one way to kill a cockroach.
Tyler: If you ever see one of those again, just let know, okay? Cause, you know, I could do that, too.
Lindsay: You really ARE mean! And all that bad stuff people say about you is true, like how you're a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little [bleep]! I always told them they were wrong. I stood up for you because I thought we were BFFs! But they're right! You really are a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little [bleep]! And guess what? I don't wanna be BFFs anymore. I'd rather spend the day staring at Owen's butt than shopping with you! And PS, your shoes are tacky!
Lindsay: (Confessional) I don't know what came over me. Oh wait, yes I do! Heather's a total [bleep]!
Heather: (Confessional) Okay, I know it may look like I'm desperate for a partner. But that's only because...okay, I'm desperate for a partner. But Harold? That is even worse than the mathletes! That's like...ugh...spending the afternoon with the Physics Club!
Eva: Watch it! It's a trap!
Noah: Justin. The anti-me. So we meet again.
Izzy: Whatever you guys do, don't look him in the eyes! He has powers.
Justin: Give me the case.
Izzy: Back off, really hot guy!
Justin: I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. (Takes off his shirt)
Cody: Courtney, save us! Pull us up!
Courtney: Give me the case, and I will!
Tyler: No way!
Courtney: Okay then! (Goes higher)
DJ: You wouldn't let us fall to our deaths!
Courtney: Oh yes, I would! I don't even like you very much!