Total Drama All-Stars and Pahkitew Island

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Total Drama All-Stars and Pahkitew Island are two 13-episode segments that both make up the fifth and final season.

Part 1: All-Stars[edit]

Heroes vs Villains [5.01][edit]

Chris: Heather, Duncan, Lightning, Jo, Scott and Gwen, from now on, you're the Villainous Vultures.
Lightning: Sha-team!
Gwen: (shocked) Wha?! Why am I on the villains team?
Courtney: Because you stole my boyfriend and became to the new Heather.
Chris: Yeah, what she said.
Gwen: But I've done so many good things. I'm not a villain. I'm nice.
Duncan: Being bad is cool and now we're on the same team, so that's good right?
Gwen: (dismayed) I guess.
Duncan: [Confessional] Oh man I only came back for Gwen she better not sulk the whole time or I may as well be dating Courtney.
Chris: Mike, Zoey, Cameron, Sam, Courtney, Lindsay, and Sierra, you're the Heroic Hamsters!
Courtney: Excuse me, how are hamsters heroic?
Chris: It was that, or the "Heroic Hippos."
Courtney: Hamsters it is.

Heather: [to robot] Keep your distance, toaster. [Confessional; shudders in disgust] There is something about that robot which I don't like.

Heather: [pushing Jo back] Excuse me!
Jo: Uh, watch it, Old Heather.
Heather: You watch it. Newbie.
Gwen: Guys, just because Chris labeled us 'villains' doesn't mean we have to act like villains. We're a team. We should work together as a team!
[The villain members agree in not believing Gwen]
Heather: [Confessional] No way is that going happen. I...
Jo: [Confessional] ...don't trust...
Duncan: [Confessional] ...anyone...
Scott: [Confessional] ...on this...
Drama Machine: [Confessional; beeping]
Lightning: [Confessional] ...team!
Gwen: [Confessional] Huh. I think that went well.
[The vulture villains laugh wickedly evilly at Gwen]

Gwen: But, Jo, wouldn’t you make a better diver since you’re so athtletic?
Jo: Nobody tells me what to do, Goth-ball. And don’t even try to kiss me!
Gwen: (shocked gasp) What?! [Confessional] After three seasons of kindness, I’m reduced to evil kisser status?! For the last time, Duncan and Courtney were over before he and I started. You can’t steal a boyfriend if the boy is free!

Heather: [shocked by witnessing Alejandro was in the robot suit] You have got to be kidding me!!
Alejandro: [Confessional after being the robot suit] Last thing I remember, I was burn to a crisp by the volcano and Chris sealed me up in the robot to heal. It feels so good to be free after all this time. I must think Scott for his cowardice.

Alejandro: [in the confessional again after his legs started to fall asleep] I was stuck in that robot suit for a year! My legs are so asleep, it looks like they're in a coma! Wakey! Wakey! Nothing.

[At the elimination ceremony]
Chris: Welcome to our first elimination ceremony! How do you like the new Peanut Gallery? Huh. Now, opponents can watch someone give them the boot, before they head to the Spa Hotel for a deluxe dinner.
All: [Cheering].
Gwen: [Comes over to Courtney] Hey! I know I didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry that the whole Duncan thing went down. But... [Hands out flowers] Here! I pick these just for you!
Courtney: [Sneezes] Achoo!
Gwen: Oh no! You're allergic?!
Courtney: Told you you were a villain. [Sneezes] Achoo!

Lindsay: [After she got eliminated] Wait. Do I have to ride that scary catapult thing?
Chris: Nope, this year we've got a new elimination device. [The screen flips to Lindsay in a giant toilet] Behold, the Flush of Shame! patent-pending.
[The Heroic Hamsters except for Sierra are disgusted by the new elimination device]
Mike: Gross!
Courtney: Ew!
Zoey: Yikes!
[Sierra takes a picture of the Flush of Shame]
Lindsay: Well, see you guys, it's been--
[Chris touches the button to activate the Flush of Shame; Lindsay screams and she spins around and disappears and then, water came up and everyone got soaked.]

Evil Dread [5.02][edit]

Mike: (as Chester) There's a storm 'a coming dagnabbit! (then Svetlana) I'm scared! After all zese years, he's going to return! (then Vito) Ayo, how we gonna stop this goombah? (then Manitoba) Hush it, mates. Mike is waking up! (Wakes up as his normal self, looks around) Uh… huh, wuzzat? You guys say something?

[Sierra takes a picture of Courtney sleeping, thus waking her.]
Courtney: Gah. What the heck?!
Zoey: [wakes up] Courtney! What's wrong?
Courtney: What's wrong is that we're sharing a cabin with a super fan with a bad case of crazy.
Sierra: [giggles] Hey Courtney. I've updated the sleeping section of your picture gallery on my fan site. Whee!

Jo: I just hope Lightning doesn't find the invincibility statue. If we don't vote him off soon, he'll be too strong to beat later.
Scott: So, Maybe we should do this right away. Throw the next challenge.
Jo: And give up all this?! No way!
Scott: True enough! This is sweet! You know what I slept on last night? A pillow, filled with feathers! Back on the farm, it's a burlap sack filled with small animals. You ever had a pillow bite your face?
Jo: I would like to enjoy my breakfast now, and that will require you to stop talking.

[Alejandro gets his legs massaged by an intern while Heather sits on a chair watching]
Heather: Quit hogging the masseuse!
Alejandro: (sighs) I'm sure her hands are magical, if only I could feel them.
Heather: Seriously? Your legs are still asleep?
Alejandro: [raises his head revealing two strips of wax on his eyebrows] I don't know if they'll ever wake up. I was squashed into that robot suit for an entire year. Which you'd have known, had you ever texted?!
Heather: It's not like you ever texted me. [Notices the wax strips on Alejandro's eyebrows] Are you getting your eyebrows waxed? Wow.
Alejandro: They call it "manscaping," because it is very manly. And I didn't text you because I was trapped in a robot suit!
Heather: Well, whatever. [yanks off a wax strip off Alejandro's eyebrow causing him to scream in pain]

Heather: [Confessional] Please. This "my legs don't work" thing is obviously bogus. He just wants sympathy. But news flash I am not falling for him! It! Not falling for it.

Alejandro: [Confessional] I've never found Heather to be more radiant. Her glossy locks, her perma-frown, the way the hair on her upper lip catches the light when she yells at me. [short pause] Keep in mind, I was in a robot suit for a year.

Scott: [nudging Lightning] Any luck finding the invincibility statue?
Lighting: [posing] No need. I am an invincibility statue!
Alejandro: [Confessional] He is so arrogant! I might understand it if he had this face, but he does not have this face.
Lightning: [Confessional] "Arrogant?!" Be fair now, look at me. Sha-yeah!

Lightning: [Confessional] Sometimes when my tummy's empty, my mind ain't full. Stupid Boney Island fish. [Gags]
Gwen: [Confessional] Ugh! I can't believe Lightning made it to last season's finale. Does he ever sha-shut up?!
Lightning: [Pukes].

Chris: An hour has passed and the teams are still tied with one all. Which raises a pertinent question. WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!
[The contestants started to bicker.]
Courtney: We don't have shovels!
Sam: There's sand in my shorts!
Lightning: I'm amazing!
Chris: Blah, blah, blah. Whine! Whine! Hurry up! I have dinner plans!

Chester: Oh, that can’t be good.
Manitoba Smith: [getting up] Hi. Do you feel that? The malevolent one, he's coming!
[Svetlana shrieks in terror; the other personalities turn to the portrait of Mike burned into a picture of Mal in a silhouette]

Sam: Ow. Jellyfish! It stung my butt! Ow!
[Everyone laughs at Sam's misfortune, especially Mike]
Zoey: How can you laugh?
Mike: Cuz, the only cure for a jellyfish sting is to pee on it.
Sam: [Screams] .
[Sam jumps in the water and pees on the jellyfish underwater]
Sam: [sighs] .
Zoey: Ew.

Gwen: [As the Heroic Hamsters head for the spa hotel and Sam volunteers for exile to Boney Island] Hey, Courtney! I just wanna say Congrats on winning for the... [Before she can finish, a garbage bag shots in the air] Whoa!
[Gwen was able to whack it with the shovel, but, it ends up hitting on Courtney]
Courtney: [Coughs] Ew. [Coughs].
Gwen: That was an accident! I...
Chris: Gwen, Gwen, Gwen. So evil. You are definitely on the right team.

Mal: [maliciously] One by one, they will all fall.

[Lightning takes the Flush of Shame after being voted off]
Lightning: Toss away your strongest team member?! You're gonna regret this, especially you, Jo! You're a total- [Chris presses the remote button and Lightning gets flushed] Sha-AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!

Saving Private Leechball [5.03][edit]

Duncan: Ugh, I've almost forgotten about these crud-tacular cabins.
Alejandro: (sighs) Let us hope it is our only visit.
Scott: [leans back, hitting his head on the hard pillow] Ow! I miss the hotel. Now that I know how rich people live, everything I used to like stinks! [the bunk bed starts to collapse, gets a coil wire in his eye] Ow! Lousy discount bed! [punches the bed and screams in pain as nails are tacked on to his hand]
Duncan: [Confessional] Scott's okay, at least with him you know what you're getting... which is crud, but still, nice to know.

Heather: Thanks again for blowing the challenge, Jo.
Jo: Me?! You're the one who wasted time arguing instead of digging.
Heather: I wouldn't have needed to argue if everyone just did what I told them to do. I'm the with the most experience on this team.
Gwen: [annoyed] It's everyone's fault for not working together as a team. Now cram it! I am trying to sleep!

Heather: [Confessional] "Teamwork?" Ugh, don’t make me barf. I am still gonna take control.

Cameron: (Confessional) Sierra and I have a lot in common. We're both super-smart, and we can both be a teensy bit socially oblivious sometimes.
Sierra: (From outside) Cameron, what are you doing in there?
Cameron: Like I said...

Heather: [Confessional] Leeches?! Chris is really making us earn the million this year, jerk.

Mike: [Confessional] Courtney is kind of scary sometimes. (Mal takes over) And I love when things get scary. (Changes back to Mike, laughs) So uh, what was I saying?

Courtney: [Confessional] Zoey has some seriously impressive skills. And that is why she’s got to go.

Gwen: (Confessional) Whoops. Being in charge is harder than it looks.
Chris: Tell me about it.

Chris: [As Jo was eliminated] But, before we get flushing, I want to do a little reshuffling. Today, one villain acted more like a hero. And one hero acted more like a villain. So, pack your bags and switch your teams, Courtney and Duncan.
All: [Gasping].
Courtney: I don't want to be a villain!
Duncan: And I don't want to be a lame ol' hero.
Chris: Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, just... do it!
Duncan: [Sighs] It was fun while it lasted! [kisses Gwen and then, Courtney and Duncan then, switched their teams] At least now, you'll have to stop blanking me and admit that I exist.
Courtney: Yeah! You exist! So what?!
Duncan: Um. I like the blanking better!
Gwen: So. Hey! Welcome to the team! [kicks the bucket full of leeches] Ahh.
Courtney: Ahh. Eww! Ahh.
Gwen: I swear! I didn't see the pail!
Chris: [Laughs] Pure evil!

[As Jo takes the Flush of Shame]
Chris: Any final words?
Jo: Just flush it already!

Food Fright [5.04][edit]

Scott: You gonna finish your gruel?
Courtney: What? No, gross! Help yourself!
Scott: (Scrapes some off Courtney) You clean up real nice.

Hero Hamsters: Welcome to the hero team, Duncan!

Duncan: [Confessional; missing Gwen] Man, I miss my villainous babe. I bet she's having a blast.
Gwen: [Confessional] This, is the worst. I only came back to Total Drama to make things better with Courtney. [starts to cry] But now she hates me, more than ever!
Courtney: [outside the confessional booth with an umbrella hearing Gwen crying from inside, then takes her turn to use it] She came back for me? Yeah, right! She’d probably knew I’d overhear. But... but how?

Courtney: Nice one, Scott. And yes, I was being sarcastic! [noticing Scott smiling at her] What? What?!
Scott: You're pretty when you're mad.
Heather: Barf!

Chris: [After Alejandro reswallows to prevent from barfing] Taste so nice, he ate it twice!
Alejandro: [Confessional; sulking] Chris will PAY for laughing at me!
Chris: [Over the intercom] I sincerely doubt it, Al! [laughs as Alejandro frowns sulkingly]

Courtney: [Screams after green jelly explodes on her] Green jelly?! [runs off screaming] Get it off me! Get it off me!
Cameron: Why is she freaking out so much?
Sierra: Season 1, Phobia Factor challenge. She's terrified of that stuff!

Duncan: [Confessional with his lips swollen from mouse trap] I'm not wanna care about my looks, but man, check out my lips! It's like two worms having a street fight down there.

[Sam takes the Flush of Shame after caught cheating and being voted off]
Chris: Any last words before, you know...
Sam: I just wanna say... [Chris presses the button; he then screams and gets flushed]
Chris: Psyche!

Moon Madness [5.05][edit]

Mal: (Pretending to be Mike) Hi! I'm a bug-eyed weirdo and everybody loves me!

No One Eggspects the Spanish Opposition [5.06][edit]

Courtney: (Confessional) With Cameron on our team, the newbie target's off my back. Next time we lose, Four-Eyes goes home. Unless he can't fix his glasses, then he'll be Two-Eyes. Still, he's out.

Gwen: The Villains team isn't entirely made up of evil people.
Heather: (To Cameron) You look nerdier than before, I know it sounds impossible, but here you are doing it, so...
Alejandro: Heather, please. I think that he pulls off a nerdy look with a generous measure of dignified flair.
Gwen: It's mostly made up of evil people.

Alejandro: Oh, I don’t think I’m leaving.
Heather: Oh yeah? Really? Why is that?
Alejandro: [finally stands on his feet, surprising the team; walks up to Heather, and pulls out the Chris head statue; revealing he stole it from her] I’ve got diplomatic immunity!
All: [Gasping].
Chris: Just immunity, Alejandro.
Heather: [very livid] You! YOU! YOU!!!!
Chris: Hate to interrupt during such a well thought-out argument, but, the only vote that wasn’t for Alejandro, was for [pulls out Heather’s photo, revealing she has been voted off] you. You, you! So, you are getting flushed!
Heather: [falls on her knees] NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Alejandro: [Confessional, hold a photo of Heather being voted off] Such beauty a toilet has never seen.

[Mal as Mike whistles a tune as he walks to the boat for Boney Island exile]
Duncan: [shocked gasp] I know that tune! [Confessional] Oh man, I knew Mike seem familiar. When I was a lonely punk in Juvie, he was running the place! But back then, his name was "Mal!" And he is bad news.

[As Heather is about to take the Flush of Shame crossing her arms looking very mad, Alejandro sits next to her on the toilet seat]
Alejandro: Now that I have avenged the shame you once caused me, the slate is clean. We can start fresh. After all, we are a perfect couple.
Heather: [angrily pushes Alejandro off the toilet seat and he falls into the lake] Let's do this!
[Chris presses the button and Heather screams as she twirls around and disappears out of sight]

Suckers Punched [5.07][edit]

Courtney: There are only nine players left, we have to merge soon. And after what you did to Heather, good luck find an ally, Al.
Alejandro: I would've prefer it if you did not call me that name. [Confessional] Last night, I dreamt about my older, smarter, better looking brother, José. [sighs exasperated] He always calls me "Al", and I hate it! More than mutant fire beetles and conditioners that don't de-tangle!

Alejadnro: [Confessional] There's only one person who I'd ever want to fight less than Heather, and that person is... [The wheel stops, and the arrow points to a blue silhouette of his brother, José; shocked gasp] No! It can't be! [everyone gasps in surprise as José appears] José!
Chris: Ooh. Dog-ey! Does Al have what it takes to stand up to his big bro?

[Courtney and Gwen collapse to their knees after fighting each other and saying the reason why they came back.]
Gwen: So, Friends?
Courtney: Tots! [She and Gwen hug each other] Friends forever!
Sierra and Zoey: Aww!
Chris: [Weeping] For putting a little warmth on my otherwise frozen heart, I'm giving you both one point. That makes it three to two. Villains win!
Villains: Yay!
Heroes: Aww!

Chris: First off, I got all my missing teeth replaced, so now my handsomosity is back at 150%!!! [Smiles, none of the campers look impressed] Tonight, the winners get to choose which player is eliminated from the losers’ team. [The heroes start to gasp] Hold that gasp. And the losers are the choosers of which winner goes to Boney Island. And the teams are NOT merging! …Now you may gasp. [Everyone gasps] And there it is. Now, villains, who's going home tonight?
[The villains whisper to each other for a couple of seconds]
Gwen: [Speaks up] We've decided-
Cameron: Reluctantly, very reluctantly!
Gwen: To eliminate... [The heroes all look tense for a few seconds] …Sierra.
Sierra: Meee, but why?
Cameron: You have a real Cody back home who needs you! For some reason... Now run, Sierra; run to him!
Chris: You mean swim, but, before Sierra gets flushed, which villain is going to exile on Boney Island? Heroes?
Heroes: [All in unison pointing at Alejandro] Alejandro.

Gwen: [As Sierra is in the Flush of Shame, crying] Sorry again! Say hi to Cody for me.
Duncan: And make more of those Gwuncan videos. What?!
Chris: [holds up an umbrella] Hold your breath! [pushes button; flushing Sierra]
Sierra: I'm coming Cody!!

You Regetta Be Kidding Me [5.08][edit]

[The scene begins at the spa hotel, where Gwen wakes up.]

Cameron: [Confessional] Being on the villains team is so nerve-racking. Why did Chris put me on the villains team in the first place?! (gasps) You don't think he knows about the time I was a day late returning my library books, do you?

Chris: Courtney and Gwen reached Coconut Alley.
[Chef drops coconuts]
Courtney: Uh Oh! What's that?
[Coconuts pelted on the girls.]
Gwen: Hey! [Courtney almost falls off the boat] Courtney! [Pulls her up] Whew.
Courtney: Thanks, Gwen! I almost got my hair wet.
Gwen: I would never let that happen. Your hair is wonderful!
Courtney: No! Your hair is.

Duncan: [sees the dynamite] Incoming, hold tight! [he grabs the stick and pinches out the fuse and chuckles] don't mind if I do! [Chef shakes his fist and growls]
Zoey: [points off-screen at something] Is that where Chris lives?
[Pan over to reveal Playa Des Losers, the resort]
Duncan: Yeah, beautiful. [Narrows his eyes while holding up his stick of dynamite] Just beautiful. [Suddenly jumps off the boat]
Zoey: Duncan! Where are you going? [Duncan ignores her as he swims to shore]
Duncan: [in the confessional] If ANYONE thinks I've gone soft or lost my Mojo, let's just say I found a way to set the record straight.

[Chirs and Chef are laughing as Alejandro tries to get his boat to start after it stalled again.]
Gwen: What's Alejandro doing? His engine must've died.
Courtney: Guess he'll have to Ale-hand-Row-Row-Row his boat!
[They laugh]

Chris: [notices someone missing] Wait a minute, where's Duncan?
[Suddenly, an absolutely MASSIVE explosion goes off in the background, shaking the camera. Smoke is seen in the distance]
Zoey: What the heck was that?
[Chris pulls out his binoculars and squinted through them. He gasps as he sees what the explosion was… Playa Des Losers now stands a crumbling, burnt mess]
Chris: [horrified] MY COTTAGE!!!! [he wails loudly]
Courtney: [Looks through the binoculars] You call that a cottage?! It was a mansion!
[Pan over to the damaged resort, Duncan running away from it]
Duncan: [cackles like a maniac] Yeah, [stops and dances] WHOO-HOOO!!! Now who's gone soft? [Runs off-screen, laughing]
Chris: So many pictures of me! Gone! All gone!
Chef: We'll build you another cottage.
Courtney: It was not a cottage!

Chris: [sighs] Good news... As a reward for making it to the merge, there will be no Boney Island for any of you tonight... [The contestants cheer; sounds whiney] Do you know how many statues of me were lost in that explosion? Five!
Courtney: Can we just get on with this ceremony already?
Duncan: [triumphantly] Told ya! Told ya I was a villain!
Chris: [sounding a bit like his old self] Before you vote for the first time as individuals, I have a special surprise for [glares at Duncan] Boom-boom over here.
Duncan: [sarcastically] Aww, Chris, you shouldn't have!
[Two cops walk up to Duncan, one putting his hand on Duncan’s shoulder]
Cop: You're under arrest for the destruction of a private cottage.
Courtney: It was not a- [lets out an annoyed growl]
Gwen: Way to go, bad boy! I hope looking cool is worth getting locked up again.
Duncan: It is! I'm gonna rule Juvie!
Chris: Juvie? Um, you destroyed a MAJOR piece of property. It's a big boy jail for you, bro! And it's gonna be a real slammer! [Chuckles]
Duncan: [Now looks nervous as the cop grabs him by the wrist] Wait, it was an accident! [the cops start dragging him off] Come on guys, have a heart! I-I didn't know you weren't supposed to put a toaster in the microwave! Agh, snuggle-muffins!
Chris: [Back to his cheerful self] Ah, justice! It's voting time!

Chris: Well, I believe this is a first! The votes have been tallied, and it's unanimous! Tonight's Flush o' Shame recipient is... [turns the photos around, revealing Cameron X'ed off] Cameron!
Cameron: [shocked] WHAT?! How can it be unanimous? I didn't vote for myself!
Zoey: I didn't vote for him either!

Zeek and Ye Shall Find [5.09][edit]

Scott: Ladies first. Or is that wrong, because this is dangerous? Or is that wrong because this is the twenty first century? Or is it the twenty-second?

Chris: [At the elimination ceremony] Gwen wins our never to be repeated or spoken of again Challenge! She saved all of us. But, more importantly, she saved me. So, I'll honor the deal Chef made. The spa hotel is yours, Gwen. Who's going to exile on Boney Island?
Gwen: Alejandro!
Alejandro: (Sighs) First my boot and now this.
Chris: And as who goes home, no vote is required. [Chef pushes Cameron who was bandaged and in a bubble] Cameron is too injured to continue. So, as my rules and my cruel streak dictate, he must be flushed.
Zoey: I’ll miss you, Cam.
Cameron: [muffled] I’ll miss you too.
Gwen: You get better, okay?
Cameron: [muffled] Thanks, Gwen. Bye, Mike.
Mal: Oh, Mike’s gone. I’m Mal. And I let you fall. So long, sucker. [snickers evilly and Cameron muffled screams horrifyingly and gets flushed down the Flush of Shame]

The Obsta-Kill Course [5.10][edit]

Alejandro: (Confessional) Chris is lucky I have a bigger problem to deal with. Mal! Good thing I have a DVD full of incriminating footage hidden in the hotel. When the time is right, bam! I'll expose that phony or my name is Alejandro Burrosmuertos.
Chris: (laughs) Tell them what your last name means! (laughs)
Alejandro: It's a very respected name where I come from. Very respected!

Mal: Better watch your step, pal. Or is it Al?
Alejandro: Quite a warning coming from the guy who tampered with the votes.
Mal: So what? Who's gonna believe you, the most manipulative guy in Total Drama history?
Alejandro: True, I'm not known for being trustworthy. That's why I have procured a DVD full of evidence of you at your shiftiest. Your hours here are numbered, pal. Or should I say...Mal. (Mal threatens to break Alejandro's wrist) Wait! My people have a saying! ¡Burros muertos no hablan!
Mal: Dead donkeys don't talk?
Chris: (laughs) Alejandro "dead donkey"! (laughs)

Chris: But, everyone else wants Alejandro to surf the porcelain wave machine!
Alejandro: [Sighs] Man!
Chris: Gee. What a shame!

[Alejandro takes the Flush of Shame after being voted off]
Alejandro: This show just got 100% less beautiful! But I’m not the real villain, a greater evil is lurking!
Chris: [fake yawns] Boring! [presses the remote button and flushes Alejandro]
Alejandro: [to Zoey while spinning around, getting flushed] The truth is in the art! It’s in the AAAARRRRRTTTTT!!!!

Sundae Muddy Sundae [5.11][edit]

Gwen: Second-last?! Right to the end, my butt.
Courtney: I can explain!
Scott: You gave me a TAIL?! Wow!
Courtney: Wait!
Gwen: Oh, please, even you can't talk your way out of this one.
Courtney: Ugh. Sensitive much.
Gwen: [Confessional; infuriated] Courtney was only pretending to be my friend?! Ugh! How did I now see that?! She's going down.
Scott: [Confessional] A tail! And it's pointed, like a rat tail! I will never forgive her for this, NEVER! Not unless she really really wants me to.

Courtney: [Confessional, excited about the challenge] Whoo! Yes! I know my sundaes. I worked at an ice cream shop for three weeks, then I got fired for flinging a scoop of raspberry swirl at a customer. But she started it with all her "Excuse me, excuse me". I was on my break!

Zoey: [Confessional] It's not like Mike to enjoy someone else's misery, even if it is Courtney's. Hmm. When Alejandro was making that big goodbye speech, he said there was "greater evil" lurking. He also said "the truth is in the art". Man, typical Alejandro. Hot and infuriating right to the end.

Chris: I tabulated the votes and tonight's loser with three votes to two is Courtney!
Courtney: You can't flush me yet! I'm still eating. [Tries eating her gross sundae]
Chris: That's the spirit! Never give up! [flushes Courtney]

The Bold and the Booty-ful [5.12][edit]

Gwen: [As she was in the Flush Of Shame] Good luck, Zoey! I really hope you win!
Zoey: Aww, Thanks! Next time, I hope we're on the same team!
Gwen: Next time?! Oh no! No way am I ever coming back to this dump! [screams as she gets flushed]
Chris: Who to flush next? It all comes down to who you wanna battle in the finale. Scott or Mike.
Zoey: [Confessional] I wanna bring Mike to the finale. Not Mal. But, if I ditch Mal now. Mike would be lost forever. Ugh. Love. Pfft. Seriously! I promised to have a friendship finale. But, things had seriously changed since then. [Chris yawns] But, I am a girl of my words. So, sorry Scott.
Scott: Oh. [Gets in the Flush of Shame] You're making a mistake. Mike's a total scammer. You don't know what you're in for.
Zoey: Thanks, Scott! But, I know exactly what I'm up against and who.
[Mal looks suspicious and Chris pushes Scott in the toilet and flushes him]

The Final Wreck-Ening [5.13][edit]

Mal: Don’t you get it Zoey? There’s no longer a choice. [whispers into Zoey’s ear] Mike is gone. And he’s never coming back.
Zoey: [Confessional] Is Mike really never coming back? No, that’s just what Mal wants me to believe. I hope.

Owen: Thanks, Chris, these double deep fried beans really do the trick, watch! [he grunts, as a balloon starts inflating behind him and Chris cringes as a large popping sound is heard] …mommy.

Chris: (gasps) Oh no! Are you two... DATING?

Mal: Huh? [camera zooms out revealing his tower has disappeared] Impossible. Where’s my tower?
Mike: It’s gone, Mal. It’s gone for good.

Mal: [last final words; angrily] No. NO! It’s MY time!! MINE!!!!!

[Mike's ending]
Chris: Mike wins a million dollars!
Zoey: Oh Mike! I'm so proud of you!
Chef: I was just cleaning it anywhere off.
Gwen: Way to go Mike!
Cameron: Great to have you back buddy.

[Zoey's alternate ending]
Chris: Zoey wins a million dollars!
Mike: Alright Zoey, wait to- [gets food thrown in the face]
Chef: I was just cleaning it anywhere off.
Gwen: Way to go Zoey!
Cameron: You deserved it, nice win!

[Chris's phone rings]
Chris: [Sighs] It's the network! [Answers the phone] Yes! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Okay, done! [Ends the call] They're so happy that they want to go straight to a new season with an all new cast!
[Suddenly, the ground shook]
Chris: Um. What's going on?!
Cameron: Chef! What did you use to make these moats?
Chef: A fracking machine!
Gwen: Whoa! You can't say that on TV!
Cameron: A fracking machine is a hydraulic drill! You can't use it on an island this small. It's dangerous!
Chris: Why? What?! What could happen?
[Suddenly, water spouts out]
Cameron: [panicking] The island is SINKING!!

Heather: Cheated out of a million bucks, AGAIN! I hate this show!
Alejandro: But, we have the greatest consolation prize of all... each other.
Heather: Great. JUST great.

Owen: [during his water skiing ride] Look, mom! I'm water skiing! [yells and wipeouts and lands in the water as he laughs] That was awesome!

Part 2: Pahkitew Island[edit]

So, Uh, This Is My Team [6.01][edit]

Chris: Welcome, Total Drama fans! Put on some clean undies, cuz, things are about to get wild! [Laughs] 14 spanking fresh contestants and a totally brand new location; [Pans out to reveal the new Island] A Cree island located in western Canada. [Cuts to the scene where Camp Wawanakwa sank in the All-Stars finale] As you might recall, during our heroes vs. villains finale, someone, and I prefer to remain nameless, accidentally destroyed our old island. [Cuts back to the new island] So this is where we landed! No shacks, no showers, no hotels, no hot tubs. The only things we managed to save were the outhouse confessional and all the horrible butt smells that live in it. [An intern comes out gasping for breath and faints] It'll be the roughiest roughing it, that's ever been roughed on Total Drama. So, buckle up! This is Total Drama Pahkitew Island.

[Cuts to a zeppelin flying across the sky carrying the 14 new contestants. Cuts into the zeppelin where Ella is humming to herself while Sky takes out a piece of gum before turning to Max.]
Sky: Want some gum?
Max: You’re offering of simple confectionery will not save you [devious look] from the pure evil of me! [[Normal look] But yes, thank you. [He takes the gum and chews it before choking and coughing it out. He gasps.] Cinnamon; there is no need for you to be that spicy.
[cuts to Dave]
Dave: [chuckles] That guy's a little [hears Leonard making a noise and waving a stick behind him] weird.
Leonard: “EXPERIENCE!” I know many spells to ward off evil
Dave: Um?
Ella: [places her hand under Dave’s chin] And there's nothing that can't be made sweeter with a song! [she starts to sing and dance like a ballerina away as Beardo begins to beat box]
Beardo: [beat box sounds] Song!
Amy: [disgusted] Switch seats with me, right now! [she and her sister Samey switch seats and suddenly notices Jasmine and is terrified] GIANT!
Jasmine: Are you and I going to have a problem?
Amy: [tugging on Sammy’s shirt] Switch back, NOW!
[Topher runs passed them; looking for Chris]
Topher: Chris! I don't get it. Chris? [he then runs passed Sugar and Scarlett] Chris has gotta be here someone [looks at Sugar] Anyone seen Chris? You seen Chris? [Sugar grab him and pushes him against the exit door]
Sugar: Stop your fidgeting! You scuff my pageant shoes and I’ll toss you out the window! You’ll be squished flat in 2 minutes.
Scarlett: [correcting Sugar] Actually in the first 14 seconds he would fall 1800ft. Then he would reach terminal velocity and drop 176ft per second. So if we’re flying at the recommended speed at 32000ft, he would hit the ground in 3 minutes and 6 seconds.
[Pans over to Rodney and Shawn]
Rodney: Wow, that girl has some real brains, huh?
Shawn: [terrified; covers his head] Brains? Whose brains? No one is getting my brains!

I Love You, Grease Pig! [6.02][edit]

Amy: (Confessional) After I was born, Mommy and I had to wait seventeen minutes for Samey to come out. Ugh, can you imagine? If I could have walked, I would have left without her!

Leonard: [As he was in the Cannon of Shame] Aww, nuts!
Chris: Check this out, Chef! I'm going to show you a magic trick of my own. Watch in amazement as I make this contestant disappear!

Twinning Isn't Everything [6.03][edit]

Chris: Did I hear singing, again?
Sugar: Yes! On account of her sing-song, she got us hit with balloons, relish and...some third thing I can't identify.
Ella: If my singing was the cause of that, then I-
Chris: Okay, as long as the singing caused you pain, Ella, I'm happy!

Samey: (Confessional) Whenever I have something Amy wants, she just takes it! Always, always, always! Huh...always...

[Amy's face and throat is swelled up from the Manchineel fruit and has trouble speaking]
Chris: Can't understand what you're saying Samey, and it really doesn't matter. 'Cause, you've been voted off!
[Amy screams in horror]

I Love You, I Love You Knots [6.04][edit]

Sammy: Hey, you're going foraging without me?
Jasmine: Gee, Amy, you've never gone foraging with me before. That was something Samey did, ie: not you.
Sammy: Right! I mean...foraging, ew! I'd rather wear those shorts.
Jasmine: There's the Amy I know! Come on, then!

Chris: Rodney! You could be going home because . Scarlett! You could be going home because, because... Fine! It's Rodney! Eat up!

Chris: Hold that thought! [Rodney blasted off in the air and then, lands in an oncoming battleship, and Chris looks through his binoculars.] I think I just saw someone's battleship.

A Blast From The Past [6.05][edit]

Amy: You'll pay for this, Samey!
Sammy: Like the way you always make me pay when we go to the movies?
Amy: You're lucky I let you sit behind me!
Sammy: You're lucky I don't tell everyone you still suck your thumb!
Both: You're the worst sister ever!

Shawn: [Confessional] I think I've just made a big mistake.
Jasmine: [Confessional] I think I've just made a big mistake!

Chris: [As Amy and Samey goes in the Cannon of Shame] And to make it fair, maybe Samey should come out first this time! [Amy and Samey blasted off in the air.] So nice to see family traveling together!

Mo Monkey, Mo Problems [6.06][edit]

Topher: (On Chris' cellphone to the producers) How old is your host Chris McLean, sixty or sixty-five? Really? Guess those were hard years...

Scarlett: (Confessional) The plan was for Max to be the only one not in the trap, so that the team would know he built it and vote him off. Now I need to find a clever way to make him admit it. This won't be easy...
Jasmine: I bet Sky made this trap!
Max: Ha ha! Wrong, fools! It was I! Me!
Scarlett: (Confessional) Much easier than I thought.

This Is The Pits! [6.07][edit]

Chris: I shot her! With a cannon off the island.

Sugar: Them two being lovey-dovey only means one thing - an alliance! We gotta keep them apart, or else it's game over for one of us.
Shawn: Probably you.
Sugar: Or we could form an alliance of our own.
Shawn: (Confessional) There's no nice way to say this...I'D RATHER BE EATEN BY A ZOMBIE!

Max: [to Sky] You're in my seat. Gone with you!
[Sky gets up and joins the Kinosewak team]

Three Zones and a Baby [6.08][edit]

Chris: [As Topher was in the Cannon of Shame, clueless] You've got a lot to learn, kid. (laughs) Later! [Topher is blasted off in the air] Good riddance!

Hurl and Go Seek [6.09][edit]

Chris: Well, Dave is gone, and it might seem wrong, but it is what it... (tree explodes) is? Who's next to...to...to... (the island is transforming) cannon? Um, yeah. Here on Total Drama Pahkite-WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!

Scarlett Fever [6.10][edit]

Scarlett: I...am...NOT...your... [takes off her glasses and turns to Max with an angry malicious look] SIDEKICK!
Max: Scarlett? You look... different.
Scarlett: [grabs Max by his jacket collar] This is the real me! The Scarlett I've kept hidden until now! Biding my time, waiting to strike! I, Am, EVIL!!!
Max: [Confessional, sucking his thumb].

Chris: [At the elimination ceremony, where Scarlett is in the Cannon of Shame] I know I normally give out marshmallows to those who aren't eliminated. But, today, I feel a special ceremony is called for. You are so eliminated! [Throws marshmallows at Scarlett] You're more eliminated, than anyone's ever been eliminated! Even that beatbox guy! The whole island's a freak show!

Chris: [Irritated] Yeah! I think I'm done with evil for now!
Max: [Laughs until Chef grabs him, Gasps] Inconceivable!
[Scene cuts to Max in the Cannon of Shame with Scarlett]
Scarlett: No! Please! Don't send me away with him. Anyone but... [Chris blasts them off the island].

Sky Fall [6.11][edit]

[Jasmine was in the Cannon of Shame]
Chris: Fire in the hole! [Blasts Jasmine off the island]
Sugar: Better take cover! The bus is about to move! [farts on everyone]

Pahk'd with Talent [6.12][edit]

Chris: Wow! I don't know what to say. Oh wait! Yes I do! [Scene cuts to Sugar in the Cannon of Shame, crying] That was horrible! Any final words!
Sugar: I personally believe that competition shouldn't be based on points. It should be based on your general awesomeness. Which means I should not be in this cannon! [Gets blasted off the island] I'm coming, Wizard!

Lies, Cries and One Big Prize [6.13][edit]

[Sean's ending in the US]
Jasmine: Shawn!
Shawn: I got this for you. I hope we could still- [gasps] Did I?
Jasmine: You won!
Shawn: No! We won! If you're still okay with splitting the money, then- [he and Jasmine kiss].

[Sky's alternate ending in Canada]
Sky: Did I? Yes! I won! I won!
Jasmine: Shawn! [picks him up]
Shawn: You're not mad at me anymore?
Jasmine: I'm very mad at you. [she and Shawn kiss]

[last scene of the series; Jasmine, Shawn and Sky are in a helicopter with Chris]
Chris: That's it for this very very off season! This is Chris McLean saying, if you can't stand the pain, stay off the Total Drama Pahkitew Island! Um, did we forget something!
[cut to the Dave who is sitting down on the log]
Dave: [throws the remote on the floor] At least things can only go up from here. [sighs as Scuba Bear appears] Of course.

Voice Cast[edit]

All Stars Cast[edit]

  • Stephanie Anne Mills as Lindsay
  • Tyrone Savage as Lightning
  • Laurie Elliott as Jo
  • Brian Ford as Sam
  • Rachel Wilson as Heather
  • Annick Obonsawin as Sierra
  • Drew Nelson as Duncan
  • Kevin Duhaney as Cameron
  • Alex House as Alejandro
  • Emilie Claire Barlow as Courtney
  • Megan Fahlenbock as Gwen
  • James Wallis as Scott
  • Barbara Mamabolo as Zoey
  • Cory Doran as Mike

Pahkitew Island Cast[edit]

  • Cle Bennett as Beardo/Leonard
  • Bryn McAuley as Amy/Samey
  • Ian Ronningen as Rodney
  • Sunday Muse as Ella
  • Christopher Jacot as Topher
  • Daniel DeSanto as Dave
  • Kristi Friday as Scarlett
  • Bruce Dow as Max
  • Katie Bergin as Jasmine
  • Rochelle Wilson as Sugar
  • Sarah Podemski as Sky
  • Zachary Bennett as Shawn

External links[edit]