Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race

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Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race is a Canadian animated reality television series which lampoons the conventions commonly found in reality television. The series takes place around the world and features pairs of contestants, rather than teams, in the style of the reality series it is parodying.

Episodes[edit]

None Down, Eighteen To Go [1.01-1.02][edit]

Don: [first lines] This is Toronto, the capital of North America, birthplace of funk where the Albino panther roams free. Beneath my size-13 brogues, 18 teams are arriving at this historic train station ready to embark on a race around the world. I'm your host, Don. And this is The Ridonculous Race!

[Best Friend’s interview]
Carrie: I met Devin in the sandbox and we haven’t spent a day apart since. If anyone can win this race, it’s us.
Devin: Yeah. I know Carrie so well. It’s like we’re... [noticing his partner’s dreamy look] Uh, what are you doing?
Carrie: Oh…uh, lint check, for the camera! Wohoo, race!

[Sisters’ interview]
Emma: I'm studying international law so, that's gonna give us a real edge. Which is good 'cause, we're here to win.
Kitty: And to see the world. Meet hot guys, and have some fun.
Emma: If there's time for that which there won't be so, let's focus on winning, okay? [Kitty sighs] Good.

[Dater’s interview]
Ryan: Stephanie and I met at the gym two months and six days ago, and we've been going steady ever since!
Stephanie: We're so excited! Neither of us has ever traveled before. There's so much to discover like, what do chocolate protein bars taste like in China?
Ryan: I was just wondering that!
Stephanie: No way!
[Ryan and Stephanie start kissing]

[Ice Dancer’s interview]
Jacques: We know how to win. We've gold everywhere.
Josee: Except...the Olympics. He dropped me so we only got silver.
Jacques: [cries] I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! [runs off]
Josee: Jacques! Silver is his least favorite color.

Geoff: [chuckles] Goin' around the world on someone else’s dime. Sweet! Hey, Bridgette! Love ya, babe! [interview] My girl and I did Total Drama, but she’s surfing her way around Australia right now. So, boom, entré my bud, Brody!
Brody: Yeah guy! Bros forever! G and B for the W-I-N!

[Stepbrother’s interview]
Lorenzo: My dad married his mom last year, but we still hate each other. So they're making us do this. Jerks!
Chet: Don't call my mom a jerk, JERK! [shoves Lorenzo]
Lorenzo: Shut your word-hole, JERK! [shoves Chet back]

Don: Also racing, Tom and Jen. Highly attractive fashion bloggers with impeccable taste. I told you not to let the teams write their own cards.
[Fashion Blogger’s interview]
Jen: Hey hey, to all our blog followers out there! Wish us luck!
Tom: I bet "Jen we could win the race", but I didn’t think she’d actually take it up on me.
Jen: I put my mind to something and it happens.

Sanders: 144 flights of stairs? Yeah, we’ll do scares.

Geoff: Hey, who pushed all the buttons?
MacArthur: Gotta take the stairs.
Sanders: Or, we could just wait.
MacArthur: Hustle!
Jen: Meh. This’ll probably still be faster.

Sanders: Thighs on fire. So...queasy.
MacArthur: So you're one of those skinny-fat people who can't climb ten flights of stairs without spewing chunks huh? What do you do? Yoga?

Kitty: [joyfully enjoying the breezy wind] THIS IS SO COOL!
Emma: Focus! This is life or death.
Kitty: Come on, look at what we're doing, it's incredible! I feel so alive!
Emma: Yeah. Make sure they put that quote on your gravestone.
Jen: Promise me you'll never let go!
Tom: NEVER! Can you believe people pay to do this?
Laurie: We're doing this for you, Mother Earth! Don't kill us!

Ellody: Well that was illuminating. [interview] Based on the splatter, the wind velocity was 45 knots. Twenty more, and we'd be splattered.

Carrie: Zipline? I always wanted to do that!
Gerry: Zipline? I never wanted to do that!

Don: The teams have arrived, and the flights have been booked. Flight #1 will carry Father & Son, Best Friends, Daters, Police Cadets, Ice Dancers, and the Reality TV Pros. Flight #2 carries the Sisters, Vegans, Fashion Bloggers, Mom & Daughter, Rockers, and Geniuses. And Flight #3 has the LARPers, Goths, Surfer Dudes, Adversity Twins, Stepbrothers, and Tennis Rivals. Who will win the next jaunt in our race? Tune in next time to find out. The Ridonculous Race...is to be continued!

Mickey: Sanitizer?
Jay: No need. I made a point of not touching anything. Juice?

Chet: [on the telephone with his mom] Your plan won't work, Mom. We're not gonna become friends, because Lorenzo is a poo-head, that's why! Can't you just divorce his dad?
Lorenzo: Hey, is that my dad?
Chet: No, my mom!
Lorenzo: [snags the phone out of Chet's hand] DAD! YOU'VE GOTTA DIVORCE CHET'S MOM!!!
Chet: Quit it!
[The Stepbrothers start fighting over the phone]
Lorenzo: Let go!
Chet: MOM!
Lorenzo: DAD!

Laurie & Ellody: Cumin, cinnamon, paprika, saffron, ginger.
Ellody: That was surprisingly elementary.
Laurie: I know, right?

[Vegans’ interview]
Laurie: Our camel benefit was beautiful. And deserts are really hot. If we win the million, we’re a launching a stop riding camels campaign.
Miles: "Take hikes, not humps."
Laurie: Or, we could call it something else.

MacArthur: I can't take this heat. Someone turn off the sun.

[Brody and Mary eat their stew bowls while their partners watch]
Geoff: When I first met Brody, he was eating a cat's hairball on a dare. Ha ha. It was pure awesome.
Ellody: I met Mary at an engineering student's potluck dinner. We both brought pie chart pie. [giggles] We're quite whimsical.
Geoff: Ha ha, pies.

[Chet is about to retch after seeing Owen eating a camel’s drool]
Lorenzo: Do not spit that out, Chet, or we’ll lose! [interview] My dad is a motivational speaker, and has taught me everything there is to know. Swallow! Do it! DO IT!
Chet: [swallows] My barf is actually less spicy than the stew.
[Crimson, Spud, Emma, and Jay all retch to prevent from throwing up as the LARPers and Vegans arrive]
Leonard: We have to eat our own barf?
[A camel retches and pukes on Miles]
Laurie: [gasps in surprise] Real organic camel munch!

Lorenzo: We’re done!
Chet: [holding his stomach in pain] Oh, I don’t feel so good.
Lorenzo: That’s 'cause you ate puke, puke-eater!
Chet: You’re a puke-water watcher!

[Leonard and Tammy both got eliminated because they stopped to use "magic" to slow down the two remaining pairs but ultimately failed and were the last team to arrive to the Chill Zone]
Don: The Ridonculous Race is about skill, it's about determinization. It's not about magic. You're done!

French Is An Eiffel Language [1.03][edit]

Miles: We walked our camel through the desert yesterday instead of riding him, so that way he can stay hydrated.
Laurie: And today, we’re pedaling our mopeds so we don’t use it’s fuel. [gasps in getting an idea] I wish there was a way we could give this moped to our camel, right?

Kitty: Emma's always been the serious one, but ever since her boyfriend, Jake, broke up with her two years ago, she's been super-
Emma: [covers her sister's mouth] Fine. I've been super fine.

Ennui: This place could be an amusement park or a camp for kids.

Jacques: "Take your cheese and sail your way to Mona Lisa’s on display."
Sanders: The Louvre!
Don: The Louvre; home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching.

Josee: Bye! You stink worse than this cheese float!
MacArthur: Too has you forgot your oars!
Jacques: Darn it!
Josee: Jacques, you were supposed to get the oars!

[The Vegans are eating bird seeds and dust during their interview]
Laurie: Pass the bird seeds.
Miles: You want some dust on that?

[Although it initially seemed like they tied with the Reality TV Pros, Don eliminated Gerry and Pete after pointing out that Gerry's foot wasn't on the carpet of the Chill Zone]
Gerry: It’s a tie! We all stay!
Don: Not quite. I’m afraid you’re going home.
Pete: What? Why?!
Don: Your foot wasn’t completely on the carpet, it was just out.

Mediterranean Homesick Blues [1.04][edit]

Don: Yesterday's Chill-Zone was the Louvre, which is todays starting point. Teams will start in the order they finished, starting with yesterday’s winners-- [The Ice Dancers walk up instead of the Police Cadets; holds up his hand, halting them] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yesterday's winners go first, icecapades.
MacArthur: Yeah, relax silver streak!
Sanders: Wait your turn!

Lorenzo: I took the subway, he took a taxi.
Chet: Can you tell Lorenzo that the time wasn't with me was the best part of the trip so far?
Lorenzo: Oh, yeah?! Please tell Chet, that before he was in my life was the best part of my life so far!

Dwayne: [grabs a tip from the Don box] It’s a Botch or Watch. Whose turn is it?
Junior: Yours. What’s the challenge?
Brody: [reading] "Who wants to swim with..." [gasps in horror] SHARKS?!

Miles: If we win the money, I'm gonna start a charity dedicated to the preservation of the long misunderstood ocean creatures. [pulls the travel tip off the shark's fin; the shark snarls and chases after her as she screams while swimming for her life; interview, covered in scratches] I'm totally scratching sharks off my preservation list.
[Laurie gasps]

[The Geniuses finish writing their equation on the sand to build a sand sculpture of the Palace of Versailles]
Ellody: 373,996 cubic yards, done. Now to build a perfect model with our data. [the wave washes over the sand, washing away their data] OUR DATA!!
Mary: We'll have to wing it.
Ellody: I never wing! [grips hold on Mary's shoulders; freaking out] I DON'T KNOW HOW!

[Ellody and Mary both got eliminated because spent they too much time planning to build their sandcastle instead of working on it, to the point that they failed to leave for Iceland by the time the next-furthest team reached the Chill Zone]
Don: [riding a helicopter, calling to the Geniuses below] Ahoy, Geniuses! I'm the other teams have reached the chill zone! You are out of the race! I'm in a helicopter! This is so cool! [flies off]
Ellody: How ironic. Our strength in urban planning was also our downfall.
Mary: That just proves how flawed this show is. But, we played our part.
Ellody: I suppose geniuses aren't always as smart as they think.
[The Geniuses laugh hysterically while leaving the beach]
Mary: You told a joke?
Ellody: I did.
Mary: Wonderful.

Bjorken Telephone [1.05][edit]

Devin: [shivering and freezing] This reminds me of, um, last winter when Shelley locked me out of the car for buying her the wrong kind of tea.
Carrie: He got frost bite and nearly lost three toes over a tea? He deserves better than that. A rabid goat deserves better than that.

[Adversity Twins’ interview after being vaporized by a geyser]
Jay: Saltwater helps Mickey's eczema. Sometimes it gets so bad, his knees look like armadillos.
[An armadillo blows raspberry]

Crimson: Most of our favorite bands are from Iceland, so, yeah, we speak a language.

Chet: [scoffs] I had the first half of the sentence, [angrily shoves Lorenzo] you were supposed to remember the second half!
Lorenzo: [shoves Chet back] Other way around, butt stain!
[The local annoyingly shoves them both; interview]
Chet: That girl is so into me.
Lorenzo: You wish. She's into me, jerky.
Chet: As if! You're dreaming!
Lorenzo: You're the one who needs to wake up!

Ryan: I memorized the first half, Stephanie took the second half.
Stephanie: We share everything. Except french fries. If he ever touches my fries, KA-BLAM!

[After Kitty finished the rest of the Icelandic sentence for getting the tip from the local for Emma, who’s annoyingly miffed]
Emma: You interrupted me and almost ruined our chances.
Kitty: But I got it right.
Emma: Yeah, this time you did. Lucky us. Next time you try to help, don't help.
Kitty: Okay.

Kelly: Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending.
Taylor: Wow, to ruin everything for a change. [Kelly annoying grabs the tip and runs off to the helicopter] Oh my gosh Mom, don’t sulk. It was a complement, hello?

Geoff: [stuffs a feast piece in Brody’s mouth] We’ve got this. [interview] Feels weird to feed Brody like he’s a little niblet. But, it’s a team challenge. The guy is a human trash can. He’ll eat anything.

Ennui: I'm so excited. First place. Wow. I could pee myself.
Crimson: [briefly looks down] You just did.

Don: You’re seventh! But, you’ve earned a one-hour penalty. Please step aside.
Taylor: Wait, what?
Don: After getting the Icelandic sentence wrong, you were both supposed to go back through the geyser field, but only Kelly did.
Taylor: [groans angrily] Way to go, Mom! I sat around waiting for you so long my butt fell asleep. And now we get a penalty? You ruined my life.

Don: Father and Son, you are the eighth team to arrive.
Dwayne & Junior: Woohoo!
Laurie: Wait, that’s our fossil!
Junior: I knew something was wrong.
Dwayne: [sighs and pushes the fossil] Fine, here you go.
Don: No sharesies. [to the Vegans] You’ll have to try again.
Laurie: But...
Don: Don’t care.
Laurie: But...
Don: Don’t care.
Laurie: But...
Don: Don’t care. [walks off]
Laurie: [to Dwayne; furious] THE GODDESS OF KARMA WILL GET YOU FOR THIS! [interview] I don't normally allow myself to experience negative emotions, but I'm sure my aura is very purple right now.
Dwayne: [interview] Not the first time I've been cursed. Luckily, I don't believe in goddesses or karma, so I think we're all good.
Miles: We’ll never be able to reiki another fossil in time.
Laurie: Then we’ll have to... eat the feast.
Miles: [horrified shock] WHAT?!

Don: You’re eleventh!
MacArthur: Oh, poop on a bird, that was close.

Laurie: I can’t believe I just did that. There are animals inside me right now. And I’m pretty sure they don’t want us to come in last.
Miles: Mine once out right now. [farts and falls off her seat as she burps]

Don: Well, my little meat-eating vegans. You are the last team to arrive.
Laurie: [sobs] So many animals. I just ate so many animals!
[Miles takes out a bucket to puke in]
Don: But this is a non-elimination round! You get to stay!
Laurie: [shocked gasp; outraged] I ate animals for NOTHING?! [attacks Don with fury]

Brazilian Pain Forest [1.06][edit]

Don: Sunny, sunny Brazil. Home to bossa nova music, makers of fine coffee, and other things that keep me awake at night. Teams will travel here on these chartered planes. The first eight teams take a direct flight, the last seven will arrive two hours later 'cause they're on the milk run. [Animals make noises and sounds from inside] Literally.

Laurie: [gasping] I ate the sheep's head so we could stay in the game! But the non-elimination meant I didn't have to. [breaks down, sobbing with guilt] I DIDN'T HAVE TO!
Miles: [smacks Laurie in the face, snapping her out] Okay, you need to calm down. What happens in Iceland, stays in Iceland, okay?
Laurie: [sighs as her breath scent almost made Miles retch] What? What?!
Miles: I'm sorry, it's just that... your breath smells like sheep head. [sniffs] DOES ANYONE HAVE A MINT?!

Kitty: Bullet ants?
Emma: Little known fact- the pain caused by their venom can last 24 hours.
Kitty: Oh, great.
Mickey: I've been bitten by venomous creatures so often, I've developed an immunity! Last year on a school trip to Seaville, a box jellyfish sat on my head like a hat! [He and Jay try to high five but they miss] We don't high five much, it's pretty new to us. [Jay accidentally smacks him and he bumps into Laurie, causing her face to fall into the mitt and get bitten by the ants] I am so sorry!
Laurie: [slurred voice] No, no. I-I deserve that. [the teams gasp in horror at her swelled up face] What? What's wrong?
Miles: Um, nothing. [takes the tip off Laurie's head] Okay. "Feeling divine? Then swing your butts to the coconuts."

[The Vegans swing across on a vine]
Laurie: [screams] Ah, the wind hurts my face! [she and Miles then slam into the other side of the gorge's wall] Now the cliff hurts my face!

[Rocker’s interview]
Rock: Spud’s got a delayed reaction to everything, including pain. So I don't expect him to feel those hundreds of excruciating bites, for like, two hours. Then he'll be all like, "Yow!" and then like, "Oooh!" and then like, "Yow!"
Spud: Uh, what are you talking about?

Geoff: [after getting both his hands bitten and swelled up by the ants] I pump iron. So, once righty started swelling, I just had to switch to the left. Symmetry is what bodybuilding’s all about.
Brody: Dude, your mitts are ripped!

Kelly: Hop on, and hold on! DO IT!
Taylor: Mom, stop. You know screaming makes your neck waddle.

Jacques: Tell me again what happened?
Josee: I told you, a monkey jumped down from a tree, picked up a coconut and threw it at you.

[Vegan’s interview, Laurie is sitting and facing the other way from the camera]
Miles: I'm gonna use some of my winnings to starts a support group called, "The Closet Vegan Society". For vegans like Laurie who’ve lost their way.
Laurie: Hey, I didn't want to eat the meat. I thought I had to.
Miles: Did you have to lick the plate?
Laurie: I thought what happens in Iceland STAYS in Iceland!

Owen: [takes a coconut and gulps the whole thing down] It’s okay. I got it down.
Noah: Great. Let’s wait eight hours and see if there was a tip in that one. [pokes Owen in the stomach with a stick]
Owen: Ow. You got me right in the coconut.

MacArthur: It's called being creative!

Crimson: Bright colors are for people who are trying to make up for the fact that they lead sad, monotonous lives.
Ennui: Yeah.

Miles: I had to take control of the team if we had any chance of finishing the challenge today. Laurie can hardly see because those mean ants turned her face into raw meat.
Laurie: Mmm...
Miles: Uh, I'm sorry, what was that a yummy sound?

[The Vegans are the first to reach the Chill Zone]
Laurie: Yes! Yes! From last place to first in one day!
Miles: We deserve it.
Don: No, you deserve a 30 minute penalty, which you're getting.
Miles: Why?! We won fair and square!
Don: Each one of you were supposed to make a component of the costume, but Miles made both of yours. [Laurie groans and Miles mopes and they step aside, the Ice Dancers leap on the carpet] Ice Dancers, you’re in first place!
Josee: [blows a kiss] Yes! In your face, Veg-- [screams terrifyingly at Laurie’s face and so does Jacques]

[Due to Laurie's injuries from the bullet ants, Miles made both elements of the costume which broke the instructions of the challenge. Laurie and Miles both got eliminated when they suffered a 30 minute-penalty and by the time it has ended, every other team had surpassed them]
Don: Well, tofu break, ladies. You've been cut from the race. Maybe you can get a job at a tempeh agency. Soy long.
Miles: All our plans for the money.
[The Vegans sadly walk away as they’re departed]
Don: Now that the last truly unselfish players have been eliminated, things are gonna get ugly. Next time on The Ridonculous Race.
Miles: That millions dollars would've helped so many causes.
Laurie: I know. And I ate meat. [sobs]
Miles: Your heart was in the right place. Not the one you ate. I mean, your heart. The one inside you. Like as they're both inside you. But, I mean the-
Laurie: Please. Stop talking.

A Tisket, A Casket, I'm Gonna Blow A Gasket [1.07][edit]

Crimson: Why do I have this strange feeling?
Ennui: I fear it might be... happiness.

Stephanie: Ryan has voiced some concerns about how competitive I've been getting, but we reached an understanding.
Ryan: [clears throat] I need to try harder so that Stephanie doesn't feel the need to be constant and lone motivator.
Stephanie: [blows a kiss, hugging him] We are so going to win this.

Crimson: Okay, Dracula was the first goth ever. He was our king. To be here is... I just... I can't. I'm so...
Ennui: Hey. That was close. You almost got color in your face.
[a wolf howls offscreen]

Carrie: So, you do a fashion blog? That is so cool! Which one of you guys started it?
Tom & Jen: I did.
Tom: No. I did.
Jen: I did.
Tom & Jen: I did. I did!
[Interview]
Jen: Okay. You typed it up, but it was my idea, so I was the creator and you were more like... a secretary.
Tom: I'm sorry. What?!

Ennui: [holding a portrait] Doesn't Vlad look striking?
Crimson: I see the similarities.
Ennui: Stop. You'll make me blush.

Tom: I hope there's enough room for your giant head and all your great ideas in there.
Jen: [annoyingly gets in the coffin] It'll be nice to have you carry me for a change.
Tom: The only change is that this time, you're in a coffin. [pushes down the coffin]

[The Ice Dancers reach the Gymnastic Training Center and get a tip from the Don box]
Jacques: It's a Botch or Watch. Ah! Gymnastics!
Don: Gymnastics. Nastics that take place in a gym.

Don: [to the Goths] You're in sixth place. Or you would be in sixth place if you hadn't broken the rules with the coffin. 10 minute penalty!
Crimson: Totally worth it.

[After Tom finally completed the Botch or Watch, he and Jen both got eliminated when they lost the final footrace to Chill Zone to the Daters]
Don: I'm sorry, you're out.
Jen: Aw!
Don: But these are very in.
Tom: I wouldn't call this a failure in anyway. We so kicked butt.
Jen: We nearly died so many times on that skywalk, on that geyser field, oh, and on that vine, but we totally did it.
Tom: Yay us!
Jen: Doing this race is a huge test to see of how strong your friendship is, and I think we did great.
Tom: Greater than great.
Jen: There sure are a lot of...bats, all of a sudden.

Hawaiian Honeyruin [1.08][edit]

Josee: [reading the tip] "Take a donkey cart to Bucharest and fly to... Hawaii!"
Don: Hawaii! Home of beautiful sunshine, ukeleles, and shirts that should only be worn ironically.

Chet: Ugh! This donkey reeks.
Lorenzo: He said the same thing about you.
Chet: Pfft, a talking donkey? Yeah, 'cause that's possible.
Lorenzo: It must be possible. 'Cause you're talking right now. Booyah! Call me when you got a comeback.
Chet: Lorenzo is a poo-head!
Lorenzo: Oh yeah? Chet's a toolstool!
Junior: How old are those two?
Dwayne: Ah, never mind them. Some people just don't appreciate quality family time, eh, right, sporto?
Junior: Uh, yeah, mm, sure, dad.
Taylor: You're so lucky you got to bring your dad.
Dwayne: Oh, I'm the lucky one. I bet doing this trip with your mom is pretty awesome too though, right?
Taylor: Not really.
Kelly: Taylor's more of a... daddy's girl.
Taylor: Daddy and I have loads in common. Like, we both love being successful. And we both hate avocado.

Ennui: Leaving Romania is tough. But leaving Romania to go to a tropical paradise full of sunshine and happiness? [he and Crimson both sigh in dismay]

Kelly: Well, honey. It wasn't pretty, but--
Taylor: You need to step your game up, mother. For serious.
Kelly: We're a team, Taylor.
Taylor: I know you aren't used to winning, like me. But maybe you need to follow my example more, because-
Kelly: You've never won anything in your life, Taylor! Never! Not one race, not one medal, NOTHING!
Taylor: Wait, what?! My room is full of trophies and medals!
Kelly: Because your dad bought a trophy store! What kind of trophies come in the mail? And guess who paid your coaches to lie. Yep, daddy.
Taylor: Beauty pageants. I won beauty pageants! You can't fake those!
Kelly: [chuckles] Oh, honey. When you have enough cash, you can fake anything.
[Taylor gasps in horror]
Don: The coals were hot, but that was cold.

Don: Ryan, Stephanie, I’m sorry, you are the last team to arrive.
Stephanie: NOOOOOOOO!
Ryan: We’re eliminated? Great. ‘Cause Steph, you’re eliminated from this.
Stephanie: You’re breaking up with me?! On national television?!
Don: International, actually.

Hello and Dubai [1.09][edit]

Stephanie: Seriously? You’re giving me the silent treatment? Oh, ho, ho, two can play at that game. I’m the queen of silent treatment. I’ve got a whole lotta quiet to drop in on you.
Ryan: I look forward to it.
Stephanie: You just wait, mister!

Noah: The seat belt sign is on, but why bother. [reveals Owen sitting on him]

Mickey: H-h-how much longer is this flight?!
Taylor: We're still on the ground, you babies!

Taylor: EW! There’s bird poop on my boot! Ugh. [rubs the bird poop on Kelly’s shoulder sleeve] There. Totes better.
Kelly: [gasps in shock; angrily to her daughter] Do not treat me like a doormat!
Taylor: You were all sweaty and gross, anyway why should we both suffer? [Kelly spots a lever and pushes it sending her up high as she screams] Don’t just stand there like an old mannequin, help me!
Kelly: No. I’m giving you a time-out.
Taylor: You can’t do that, I’m your daughter.
Kelly: Well, that’s how it works. I won’t help until you apologize.
Taylor: You’re in for a long wait.

[Kelly and Taylor both got eliminated because they went shopping in the Dubai mall long enough for the Best Friends to check into the Chill Zone before them]
Don: Kelly, Taylor, you're last to arrive. You're out of the race.
Kelly: Oh, I guess we shouldn't checked in before shopping.
Taylor: It was fun when it lasted.

New Beijinging [1.10][edit]

Kitty: "Find your next tip at the world famous Bird's Nest Stadium." Never heard of it.
Don: Well it's right here, in Beijing, China! Home to 25,000,000 people. Oddly enough, we see none of them.

Josee: That's Jacques for you. Always trailing behind. But still, he's an asset to the team.

Carrie: Uh, I’m not sure if I can-- [about to barf]
Devin: I-It's okay. Relax. I'll eat it. You just skewer up some worms and-- [Carrie runs off and vomits] I can't even say worms? [Carrie vomits again] When we were kids, her sister dared her to eat [covers Carrie’s ears; quietly] a worm, she did it, and then she barfed for six days straight.
Carrie: [holding a bucket to throw up in] Were you talking about...worms?
Devin: Yes? [Carrie throws up in the bucket] Yeah, I walked into that one.

Ryan: Cooking up something disgusting for someone you love is so hot. But when it comes to not in love... [looks down at Stephanie] Man, is it fun?

[Haters’ interview]
Stephanie: Ha. You're lame cooking couldn't slow me down.
Ryan: Whoo, baby! Cockroach breath! [snickers]

Noah: [panting] Hot! Hot! Hot!
Emma: I know it's a race, but don't be gross!
Noah: [mouth full] Sorry! Ah... I'm so sorry.
[Emma runs off and barfs in Carrie's bucket]
Carrie: That's my bucket!
Kitty: [to Noah] Dude, you are so bad at this.
[Noah sighs depressingly]

Stephanie: Stop hitting every bump on PURPOSE! [starts to barf]
Ryan: I could've taken the smoother road, but I decided to go with one that's most like our relationship. Cracked, twisted, and falling apart!

I Love Ridonc And Roll [1.11][edit]

Ryan: You gonna tell me what it says?
Stephanie: You gonna let me read it? [interview] We can't quit now. The prize money's like our children. We're staying together for the kids.
Ryan: I heard they're changing our name from the Daters to the Haters.
Stephanie: Hey, go for it. My hate for him won us the last round, so today, I plan to hate him even more.
Ryan: I couldn't hate her more if I tried. They might as well just give us the money right now.
Stephanie: [reading the tip] "Fly to Oulu, Finland."
Owen and MacArthur: Finland?
Don: Finland. This European country is home to countless coffee drinkers, cellphone users, and the most saunas per capita, which is where the teams are headed. Here, to this Don box of the piping hot sauna's Apena Pilei Spa. Why suffer in the cold...when you can suffer in the heat?

Rock: Almost time to jet.
Spud: Uh, sweet. 'Cause this heat is getting to me. It looks like those two are melting.
Rock: Dude, relax. They're totally not-- whoa! Those two are melting!
[The Goths look at each other and notice their makeup melting as they gasp in horror]

[The Goths reach the other side, their goth makeup is fully washed off, look at each other, in their reflections, and scream in horror]
Ennui: My face!
Crimson: Don't look at me!
[Goths' interview, they're both wearing paper bags over their heads]
Ennui: We've only been dating for three years, so naturally, we've never seen each other un-gothed.
Crimson: I feel like a dead body that washed up on shore, but in a bad way.

[The teams arrive at the stage in downtown Oulu]
Owen: [stepping out of the taxi] Cool! I wonder who's playing.
Noah: [grabs a tip from the Don box] Uh, we are.
Mickey: It's a Botch or Watch.
Emma: "Teams must battle in out in Finland's national sport, air guitar." Psh, air guitar? For real?!
Don: For very real.

Devin: Crimson? Wow! Your skin is so flesh-colored.
Carrie: I love your hair.
Crimson: You're throwing a lot of positive emotions my way, and I don't know what to do with that.

Eunni: Step aside. We're here to rock.

MacArthur: We're allowed to fart? Why didn't anyone tell me?!

[Jay and Mickey both got eliminated because Emma sabotaged Mickey's last Botch or Watch run by claiming his air guitar had germs, causing him to have a panic attack and fail while Noah finally succeeded for the last spot]
Don: Twins, you've raced hard. And overcame a lot of issues no one has ever heard of. But, I'm sorry. You're out.
Jay: We gathered that. We didn't win, but I'm proud of us. Our doctors said we'd last a week. Our physiotherapist said a day. Our gym teacher just laughed and laughed.
Mickey: Yeah! But we showed them. I think we've come a really long... [notices a spider crawling] AH! SPIDER!

My Way Or Zimbabwe [1.12][edit]

Stephanie: Taxi! Taxi!
Ryan: I can do this without your help.
Stephanie: Can you really?
[Hater’s Interview]
Ryan: There isn’t much we agree on anymore.
Stephanie: I agree with that.
Ryan: Pfft, yeah, right. You’re just trying to make me look dumb.

Josee: Jacques is mad at me.
Jacques: I'd like an apology.
Josee: Why should I apologize? Obviously, I didn't know it was bad luck when I took it from the island. Ugh!
Jacques: Apology accepted.
Josee: Thank you.

Dwayne: Africa. Wowzers! I've always wanted to go on a safari.
Junior: Yeah, this is seriously cool. I just wanna get up and see if--
Dwayne: Ah, ah, ah, you stay on that keister mister. Seats are for sitting.
[Father and Son’s interview]
Junior: My dad still treats me like I'm five. But I'm practically a man. Check out my chest hair.
Dwayne: Where?
Junior: Right there! I-I mean, it's blonde, so, you know, it's hard to see in this light.
Dwayne: Uh huh.
Junior: It's there, trust me! [walks away angrily]
Dwayne: [chuckles] Kids.
Junior: I am not a kid!

[The Haters try to drive pass the Police Cadets but they keep blocking their way]
MacArthur: Why aren't you two making out anymore, huh? Got tired of the... [makes kissing noises]
Sanders: Okay, that's really distracting. Just sit there and navigate.
MacArthur: It's a little something I like to call strategy.

Jacques: YOU NEED TO FLY THIS THING FASTER!!!
Flight Captain: You're not allowed in here!
Josee: [smugly] Ah, do you know who we are?
Flight Captain: [smugly grins] Aren't you those figure skaters who lost the gold at the Olympics?
Jacques: [beat]...JUST FLY FASTER!!!

[Junior lays back on a raft humming when another raft bumps from behind]
Junior: I knew you were going to catch up-- [realizes it’s the Haters instead of his dad] Oh. Uh, hey.
Ryan: What’s up, kid? Where’s your dad?
Junior: We got separated. And the family rule is, if you get separated, go to your destination. Uh, do you mind if I tag along?
Ryan: Oh-ho-ho. You don't wanna get in this boat. Stephanie might hit you with an oar and shove you off a cliff!
Stephanie: Are you still talking about that? "Ryan, Ryan, Ryan!" Get over it!
Junior: How did you guys manage to get a selfie? [Stephanie tosses him their camera] Heh, wow. That's impressive.
Stephanie: Ha! You hear that? Impressive!
Ryan: He doesn't know any better! He's just a child!
Junior: Actually, I've got a chest hair, so...
Stephanie: So he's already more of a man than you, Ryan.

Stepahnie: Well, I only boss you around because you have no leadership skills, guts, or common sense.
Junior: So, uh, thanks for the lift.
Ryan: Please. I saved this from elimination way more often than you have.
Junior: Uh, but I should go...
Stephanie: Are you insane?!
Ryan: I must be. I was dating you!
Junior: Maybe fine my dad...
Stephanie: Why do you have to remind me? I’d already blocked that out!
Junior: Anyway, you’re not listening, so... [runs off alone leaving the Haters to continue their argument] Good luck! With everything. I don’t like to judge, but those two probably shouldn’t have kids.

Don: Photos check out. First place to the Police Cadets, second to the Surfer Dudes! [both teams cheer; starts checking the photos; to Geoff] Geoff, one question. How do you keep your hat on while plunging over the world's highest falls?
Geoff: [interview] White Stallion Glue. Will hold, mold, and won't cost you gold.

[The best friends and Junior run straight to the chill zone]
Don: Carrie and Devin, you're in fourth place. Junior, I’m sorry, but both team members must be present before you can be counted.
Junior: My dad’s not here? Uh-oh.

Shawshank Ridonc-Tion [1.13][edit]

Don: [through PA] Attention, teams! This is a boomerang! Find one attached to your travel tip and you can use it at the next Don box to send another team back to repeat the last challenge.
Josee: I want one!
Sanders: If we get a boomerang, we need to be smart and really--
MacArthur: Use it on the Ice Dancers.
Sanders: No. Assess the situation and pick the team that we feel--
MacArthur: Or the Ice Dancers.

Junior: [reading the tip about the bonus treat] "First team to today's chill zone gets to make a phone call home." Cool, we can call mom.
Dwayne: Or better yet, order a pizza. [Junior points to the camera; clears throat] Eh, b-but of course, you know, I'm joking. Ha ha, I love your mother just as much as pizza. M-More than. W-Way more than pizza. Heh heh.

Emma: Number 1 or number 2?
Owen: 2! But it had the consistency of...
Stepbrothers: [farther up ahead] Number 1!

Down and Outback [1.14][edit]

Ennui: I never want to see any of those fluffy balls of lame again.
Crimson: It's weird, though. How could something so cute destroy a whole continent?
Ennui: They're like a plague. A happy, hopping wave of famine ... and ... death. [turns around and spots a black bunny peeking out from the bag. Ennui's eyes slightly widen.]

[Don congratulating Josee and Jacques on skill and good sportsmanship]
Ice Dancers: What?
Don: Kidding. Your win is highly suspect. I just don't care enough to look into it.

Don: But, before we wrap up, I have a special announcement to make. Today's episode...is a double-elimination round! The Rockers are also going home!
Rock: WHAT?!
Spud: Aw, man. Drag.
[Lorenzo and Chet laugh]
Rock: [imitating buzzer] Why'd you waste time reviewing footage if you were just gonna boot both of us?
Don: Because I forgot, obviously.

[Lorenzo and Chet both got eliminated because they lost to the Rockers in the race to the Chill Zone after their glider was destroyed by a kangaroo and they got buried in an avalanche. Rock and Spud both got eliminated because they beat the Stepbrothers in the race to the Chill Zone, Don remembered that the leg was a double elimination round, and thus the Rockers were eliminated as well]
Chet: You guys wanna come over and play "Rock Storm" on our Gamebox?
Rockers: Yes!
Lorenzo: Nice!
Chet: Sweet.

Maori Or Less [1.15][edit]

Don: Who's next to go? Will it be Mother & Son?
Dwayne: Hey!

Little Bull On The Prairie [1.16][edit]

Geoff: I can scarf most things. Brody's got an iron stomach with the taste buds of a dude that doesn't have any taste buds. We're golden.

Stephanie: [looking down into the pot, horrified] Beans? Beans?! BEANS?!?! [interview] I'm not usually a picky eater, but beans are the grossest food on the planet and should never be consumed by human beings, ever. That's it.
Ryan: [clears throat] Chicken.
Stephanie: What was that?

Crimson: This place reminds me of my grandmother’s farm house. I’ve spent a lot of summers there.

MacArthur: A disgusting amount of pork and beans? FOR FREE?! WOHOOOO! [hogs it all for herself, Sanders tries to scoop some] Get your own pot!
[Cadets' interview]
Sanders: Someone has a bit of a sharing problem.
MacArthur: You're right, and I forgive you.

Emma: [looking at Noah still looking very upset while eating beans] Maybe it’s just a coincidence he, you know, went into a state of shock and despair, the moment I broke up with him. [to her sister] Can you just agree with me at least?

Ryan: Come on, babe. You can do this. You're stronger and scarier than anyone I know. Take a deep breath. [Stephanie breathes heavily] That's it. Just... [Stepahnie drops the spoon and starts gagging; sighs] You know what? Maybe you can't do it. Maybe you're not as strong as I thought. You're not a winner at all. But a... LOSER!
Stephanie: [gasps in shock, picks up the spoon, and scarfs some beans] I... am not... a loser!
[Haters’ interview]
Ryan: As a certified trainer, I know how to motivate people who lack confidence.
Stepahnie: [with her hands over her stomach, trying to hold her vomit in] I’m confident. These beans aren’t gonna stay down, ugh, much longer. [vomits]

MacArthur: [interview, impressed by Owen's big loud fart while her partner wears a gas mask] Man, can that guy airbrush his boxers?!

Don: Dwayne, Junior... you're the last team to arrive. [Junior sighs] But I'm happy to tell you that it's--
Dwayne: It's a non elimination round?! We get to stay! We get to stay!
Junior: All right! Woohoo!
Don: No, no, you're cut from the competition. I'm sorry.
Dwayne: Well, what was it you were happy to tell us?
Don: I can't recall. That's what happens when you interrupt people. Sometimes, they forget what they were saying.
[Dwayne sighs]
Junior: [hugging his father] Thanks for this, dad. It was a lot of fun.

[After Dwayne finally completed the Botch or Watch, he and Junior got eliminated when they lost the final race to the Chill Zone against the Reality TV Pros]
Dwayne: Hey, do you wanna go home and binge watch Total Drama Pahkitew Island?
Junior: Only if we can laugh until soda squirts out your nose.
Dwayne: Of course we can, son. Of course we can.

Lord of The Ring Toss [1.17][edit]

Stephanie: Second doesn't win a million bucks. We've only been first once because you keep dragging us down!
Ryan: Me? You're the one that wouldn't eat any beans.
Stephanie: Whoa, whoa! Look who's playing the blame game!

[Best Friends’ interview]
Carrie: You know, the Goths really kicked butt in Alberta. Think we should try to form an alliance with them?
Devin: Alliances are just invitations to get stabbed in the back. You can never really know anyone. As soon as you think you do, wham! They rip your heart from your chest and they eat it.
Carrie: Okay, so... is that a no?
[Goths’ interview]
Crimson: You were so friendly with the Besties. You practically smiled.
Ennui: They're survivors, like us. I felt a kinship.
Crimson: Do we try to form an alliance?
Both: No.

[The Haters and Surfer Dudes reach the Don box when they arrive in the Arctic Circle]
Brody: Oh, it's a Botch or Watch! I rode the bull in Alberta, so this one is you!
Geoff: [reading] "Find a ring somewhere hidden in the snow and toss one onto a narwhal." Ah, narwhal, ha.
Brody: So what's a narwhal?

Stephanie: This is incredible. A boomerang is literally a game changer. You could vault yourself into first place if you play it right. And the team you use it on is practically guaranteed to go home!
Ryan: As long as we have it, we're the most powerful team in the game!
Stephanie: Uh, thank you, Captain Obvious.
Ryan: Okay, you know what? [gets up and leaves] No. No. No, no. No no no no no no no.

[Ennui flawlessly putting a ring on a narwhal by simply holding it out]
Ennui: Okay, that was pure luck, but we don't have to tell them that.

Stephanie: Pull over and let me do this. You drive like an old lady.
Ryan: Can you please stop insulting everything I do?
Stephanie: [mocking Ryan] "Can you please stop insulting everything I do?"
Ryan: Real mature.
Stephanie: "Real mature."
Ryan: [mocking Stephanie] "Pull over, and let me drive."
Stephanie: I do not sound like that.
Ryan: "I do not sound like that."
Stephanie: Stop it!
Ryan: "Stop it!"
Stephanie: Ugh!
Ryan: "Ugh!"

Ryan: Great. Now the Goths are ahead of us! Way to blow our lead! Why can't you do something right for a change and use the boomerang?!
Stephanie: I boomerang Ryan!
Ryan: [shocked] WHAT?! WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM!
Crimson: [interview] It's sad when love turns to poison. That's nice.
Don: [going through the rule book] The rules don't say anything about being unable to boomerang themselves. So I'll allow it. But since it's a Botch or Watch, this time, Stephanie has to ring the narwhal.
Stephanie: Great. Now I can show Ryan how stupid easy it is to put a hoop on a giant fish.

MacArthur: I used to hate mammals. But this narwhal is pretty cool.
Sanders: Uh, we're mammals.
MacArthur: I know.

Got Venom? [1.18][edit]

Brody: We're flying to...Flores, Indonesia.
Geoff: I hope it's warm there.
Don: Oh, it is.

Geoff: It's an All-In. "How To Milk Your Dragon." Whoa. We have to to what?
Don: That's right. Just when you thought these beasts were harmless, it turns out their saliva is loaded with venom.

Brody: Booyah! One cup of doom drool!
Don: Hold on. [swipes the vial out of Brody's hand and examines it] This is extinguisher foam! [throws the vial aside] Try pulling another fast one like that, and you're out of the race! [points to the Surfer Dudes, threateningly] Got it?
Brody: [frightened] Who could've replaced our venom with extinguisher foam?

[Loki stands on a tree branch and throws acorns at the komodo dragon, waking it up; the dragon tries to catch Loki and holds onto the tree and starts drooling; the Goths put a bucket next to the dragon to collect its drool, and stand behind a bush]
Ennui: That’s it, drool.
Crimson: [interview] Loki doesn’t know fear. [the dragon smells her and Ennui’s deodorant, and runs away] Yes. Smell your defeat.
[Ennui fills up the vial of the komodo’s drool from the bucket; the Ice Dancers pop out of the bushes watching them]
Josee: That is one b-a-d (bad) bunny.
Jacques: Well, that plan backfired. And much faster this time.

Stephanie: [holding onto a tree] Help!
Ryan: [going through a magazine] Yes, Stephanie.
Stephanie: Was this your plan?
Ryan: Yes, Stephanie.
Stephanie: Get a giant lizard to eat me?! [Ryan flips a page; screams in rage and snaps a branch stick off the tree and uses it bashing the komodo dragon in the head rapidly; Ryan gasps; points the tree branch stick at him; threatningly] Scoop some drool, or you're next.
Ryan: Huh, I'm not afraid of Steph, or her dumb stick. And I don't need her to tell me what to do.
Stephanie: [chasing after him] Hurry up, drool boy!

Don: The Goths take first place!
Josee: What?! Silver again?! This race is fixed! [angrily swaves their loom rug back and forth, hitting Jacques, screaming; interview] I can't believe those pasty-faced freaks took gold! Oh, I'll bet they're just LOVING it!
Crimson: [interview] We won.

Noah: We’re gonna be in last place.
Owen: Oh, no. Chewy's drooling in his sleep. [gets komodo drool in his eye and screams in pain] THE VENOM’S IN MY EYE! [farts, waking up the dragon; the dragon coughs and runs away; interview] Oh. I guess farting is a side effect of komodo venom.
Noah: No. It isn't.

Brody: Just to be clear, I'm a trained professional in all things extreme. Never try that at home, kids. But if you're in a forest, totally do it! Komodo trapping rules!

[Owen and Noah got eliminated because Noah became buried in a pile of rugs, and Owen was unable to find him in time before the remaining teams reached the Chill Zone due to having venom in his eye]
Owen: As reality shows go, that got as real as reality shows get.
Noah: Before it started, I didn’t have a girlfriend and now I do so, it’s an easy favorite.
Owen: I mean, the million would’ve been nice, but winning isn’t everything. Also, I already won a million.
Noah: And I’m dating a lawyer. So I’ll never have to work again.
Owen: Oh-ho-ho. I’m sure Emma’s gonna love to hear that. What reality show should we do next?
Noah: Didn’t I tell you? We’ve been asked to do the next season of-- [static]

Dude Buggies [1.19][edit]

Jacques: Oh, Josee! Are you losing it?! They're GOTHS, not vampires!!
Josee: Are they, Jacques? Are they?!

[The Haters step up to start the magic challenge]
Ryan: All right, what do we do?
Stephanie: So the assistant goes into one side of the cage, the lion is in the other. The cage gets covered and the magician puts the lever to the correct position to drop the divider and the lion off the stage. That way, the assistant doesn't get mauled. Let's go. I'll be the magician.
Ryan: Nah, nah. The girl is always the assistant, the man is the magician.
Stephanie: You better hope that dress can fit over your thick head.
Ryan: Aw, come on, Steph, be reasonable.
Stephanie: Says the guy who dumped me on television.
Ryan: [dismayed] Crud.

Kitty: Which one of us should drive?
Emma: You're better at video games than me, but can you handle it?
Kitty: I think so. [interview] I used to be obsessed with video games. One time, I played "Hockey All Stars" for two days straight. I would've kept going, but Emma unplugged my game station and refused to give it back until I took a shower.
Emma: She smelled like a bag of wet popcorn. Ugh.
Kitty: Not my finest hour.

[Ice Dancers’ interview]
Jacques: I have no problem being the assistant here. When we skate, I'm always the magician.
Josee: Eh, say what?
Jacques: I lift you, carry you, twirl you around, ha. All you need to do is smile and not fall down.
Josee: Wow. I hope I do this trick right. I'd hate to watch you get [gets up in Jacques’ face] EATEN BY A LION!

Stephanie: Would you get in the cage already?
Ryan: [grunting] Dumb door! Too small!
Stephanie: Ugh, come on! Suck it in! [pushes Ryan in the cage, his dress rips off; points and laughs at his underwear] Nice undies!
Ryan: Hey, don’t look at my butt.
Stephanie: You wish I’d look at your butt. Now get in there! [slams the cage door shut closed]
Ryan: OW!

Don: [as the Goths are again the first team to step on the carpet; spits water] HOW IS ANYONE THAT QUIET?! [breaths deeply] Congrats on coming in first again. Can we hang some bells around their necks or something?

Brody: Let's do that again!
Geoff: Dude.
Brody: Duuude!
Geoff: Duuuuuude.
Brody: [Beat, sighs] Good point...

El Bunny Supremo [1.20][edit]

Crimson: [reading the travel tip] "It's time to go to Mexico. Olé."
Don: I think you mean, ¡Olé! Yes, there's plenty to get excited about in beautiful Mexico, where the sun is hot and so is the salsa.

Sanders: How do you feel about eating a pepper?
MacArthur: Ha ha, you kidding? I could eat a bowl of fire with lava smeared on top. [interview] I'm all about the spicy food. Back at the academy, they called me "The Volcano."
Sanders: You think they call you that because you eat spicy food?
MacArthur: Why else would they call me that? What could possibly be the reason-- oh. Because of my temper.

Ryan: [calling out] STEPHANIE, I’M BEGGING YOU! EAT THE MIDDLE ONE!
Stephanie: Can’t hear you! You must be above the atmosphere or something. [eats the mildest pepper] Huh. Not bad. [waves the flag] Okay, jump!
Ryan: Aw, man, are you serious? She couldn't even eat the middle pepper?! I thought we were good! Come on!
Stephanie: We may be on better terms, but the man still dumped me on TV. If I can make him suffer a little, I will.

Devin: [panting] Ah...this is nothing. I can... [eats the medium pepper and ends up spitting it out and screams]
Carrie: Devin, just eat the mild one. [sighs] Looks like I'm going to the top.

[Ennui reaches shore with the canteen and tip]
Crimson: Thanks. [notices Ennui looking upset] What's wrong?
Ennui: Nothing.
Crimson: But you look so emotional.
Ennui: Loki's gone. [interview] Once, Santa brought me a black kitten. I named him Toxic Mold. One day, he slipped out the door and never came back.
Crimson: No bunny gets left behind.

Devin: Wait. Was Carrie holding hands with Ryan?! Was she? [accidentally rubs pepper juice in his eyes, causing him to be completely full blind] AAAH! Pepper juice! MY EYES!
Carrie: "Holding hands?" I was just helping Ryan jump.
Devin: Oh, of course you were. You were just being "helpful". Sometimes too helpful. But we should focus on the million.

[Sanders reaches the Chill Zone herself while her partner tries waking up her burro]
Don: Um, you seem to be shy one loud, aggressive partner.
[The Ice Dancers show up]
Jacques: Ah! There's only one cop. They don't win!
Don: Not yet. But unless one of you coughs up two burros, I'll have to give you a 10 minute penalty.
Ice Dancers: NO!
Sanders: [victoriously] Yes! [calling out to her partner as the Ice Dancers are penalized for 10 minutes] Hurry, MacArthur! You've got 10!
MacArthur: Okay, donkey. WAKE UP!!!

[Crimson and Ennui both got eliminated because The Ice Dancers kidnapped Loki, causing the Goths to stop competing in order to look for him; and after they found him, they were beaten by the Surfers to the Chill Zone]
Crimson: I’m glad we went to Transylvania.
Ennui: And Finland. That was epic.
Crimson: We could always go back to Vegas I guess, if we need the money. I hope the Ice Dancers get what they deserve.
Ennui: I hope they get worse than that.
Crimson: I love it when you get vengeful.
Ennui: I know.

Ca-Noodling [1.21][edit]

[Josee and Jacques are proud of how they managed to get the Goths eliminated.]
Josee: Second place. Again!
Jacques: But at least I got another team eliminated.
Josee: That's true. We did. It's like we won a gold medal in treachery!

[Brody and Geoff got eliminated after the Devin and Carrie to pass them up on the way to the Chill Zone as thanks for alerting them to the Don Box in the tunnels, making them come in last]
Don: See what I did there? That's TV fishing. Gave ya some line and a little hope and then yanked it away! It's gonna look great and all this explaining will be edited out. Cool, huh?
Geoff: Bummer, dude...
Don: Some people just don't get show business.

How Deep Is Your Love? [1.22][edit]

Sanders: This alliance is not a friendship.
MacArthur: Got that right. It's just an agreement to work with people we hate.

Pilot: [over PA] Welcome, uhh, aboard, everyone. We're going to be, um... closing the... uh... cabin doors, any uhh... second now. For the taking off.
Josee: [yelling] JUST CLOSE THE DOORS ALREADY!!! [plane cabin doors slam close; sighs in relief]
Kitty: Woo-hoo!
Carrie: That was too close!
Josee: [infuriated] Ugh!
Don: All the teams are off! Some happier than others.
Josee: Now we're all on the same flight! And it's all because of that pilot!

Darjeel With It [1.23][edit]

Josee: Well, fine! This round is every team for itself! Which means, in case you didn't figure it out, that you two are in our cross-target... thingies... a bullseye on the... we're coming for you two, now get ready!

[Josee doesn't seem to think she's at fault for cheating.]
Josee: What does Don have against us? Are we too talented, too attractive, too all-of-the-above?

[Stephanie and Ryan both got eliminated because they stopped just short of the Chill Zone to reveal that they were dating again, giving enough time for the Ice Dancers' penalty to end and for them to secure fourth place]
Don: And Haters, you're last.
Stephanie: It's Daters.
Don: Whatever, you're out.

Last Tango In Buenos Aires [1.24][edit]

[Devin and Carrie both got eliminated because Kitty accidentally knocked Devin off a cliff and severely injured him, making him and Carrie unable to continue with the race]
Carrie: Okay, well they sacrifice themselves for us in Vietnam so we choose the Surfers.
Don: Done! Carrie and Devin good luck with all of that.
Paramedic: All right, the Surfers are awesome. Sorry, let's go.
[the Paramedic take an injured Devin to the helicopter along with his partner Carrie]

Bahamarama [1.25][edit]

Geoff: This is insanity, bro! We're heading to the finale in first place!
Brody: Whoa, we should get, like, a 'most improved award' or something.

[Emma and Kitty got eliminated because they were the last team to arrive at the Chill Zone]
Don: Emma, Kitty, I'm sorry. But you have been cut from the competition.
Emma: Are you sure there isn't a loop hole?
Don: Trust me law school, you're out.

A Million Ways To Lose A Million Dollars [1.26][edit]

[Jacques and Josee got eliminated because they were beaten by the Police Cadets to the mid-point Chill Zone in Central Park]
Don: Ah! Cadets take second place!
Jacques and Josee: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Don: Jacques and Josee... I'm sorry... that it took me so long to say this. You're cut from the competition! Huh. You're taking this suspiciously well.

[last winner of the series]
Don: The Cadets win!
Sanders: [cheers] Yes! We did it!

Don: [last lines] Yes. Throw all your money on the ground. Very smart. That's all for now, we hope we enjoyed our incredible race around the world. Be sure to keep an eye out for more of The Ridonculous Race.

Cast[edit]

Voice actor Role No. episodes performed in
Stephanie Anne Mills Kitty Whole season
Emilie-Claire Barlow Ellody 5/26 episodes
Laurie 7/26 episodes
Clé Bennett Leonard 3/26 episodes
Ashley Botting Jen 8/26 episodes
Nicki Burke Stephanie 24/26 episodes
Tammy 3/26 episodes
Neil Crone Dwayne 17/26 episodes
Stacey DePass Emma Whole season
Crimson 21/26 episodes
Carlos Díaz Lorenzo 15/26 episodes
Rock 15/26 episodes
Jacob Ewaniuk Junior 17/26 episodes
Kristin Fairlie Carrie 25/26 episodes
Darren Frost Chet 15/26 episodes
Katie Griffin Mary 5/26 episodes
Miles 7/26 episodes
Jeff Geddis Devin 25/26 episodes
Tom 8/26 episodes
Carter Hayden Ennui 21/26 episodes
Noah 19/26 episodes
Spud 15/26 episodes
David Huband Gerry 4/26 episodes
Julie Lemieux Josee Whole season
Kelly 10/26 episodes
Bryn McAuley Taylor 10/26 episodes
Scott McCord Brody 24/26 episodes
Jacques Whole season
Owen 19/26 episodes
Terry McGurrin Don Whole season
Joseph Motiki Ryan 24/26 episodes
Dan Petronijevic Geoff 24/26 episodes
Evany Rosen MacArthur Whole season
Lyon Smith Jay 12/26 episodes
Mickey 12/26 episodes
Nicole Stamp Sanders Whole season
Adrian Truss Pete 4/26 episodes

See also[edit]

External links[edit]