Total Drama World Tour
Total Drama World Tour is the third season of the Total Drama franchise that began with Total Drama Island and Total Drama Action. The series extension was commissioned by Teletoon from the producers, Fresh TV, Inc. In this series, fifteen returning contestants and three new contestants are taken on a trip around the world, and compete in cultural themed challenges of countries they visit.
- 1 Walk Like an Egyptian, Part 1
- 2 Walk Like an Egyptian, Part 2
- 3 Super Crazy Happy Fun Time Japan
- 4 Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better
- 5 Broadway Baby
- 6 Aftermath: Bridgette Over Troubled Waters
- 7 Slap Slap Revolution
- 8 The AM-AH-ZON Race
- 9 Can't Help Falling In Louvre
- 10 Newf Kids On The Block
- 11 Jamaica Me Sweat
- 12 Aftermath 2: Revenge Of The Telethon
- 13 I See London...
- 14 Greece's Pieces
- 15 The Ex-Files
- 16 Picnic At Hanging Dork
- 17 Sweden Sour
- 18 Aftermath 3: Aftermayhem
- 19 Niagara Brawls
- 20 Chinese Fake-Out
- 21 African Lying Safari
- 22 Rapa-phooey
- 23 Awwww, Drumheller
- 24 Aftermath 4: Hawaiian Style
- 25 Planes, Trains, and Codymobiles
- 26 Hawaiian Punch
Walk Like an Egyptian, Part 1
- Chris: Season Three of Total Drama, folks! The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining sea! Sadly, I'm forced to share my world with a three-ring team traveling freak show. (a white and blue bus arrives) They'll be competing all around the globe for another million dollars! So, let's meet our players! Courtney! Duncan! Heather! Gwen! Leshawna!
(Gwen bumps into Heather)
Gwen: Are there reserved seats? I mean, can I have one not behind Heather's pony hair ponytail?
Heather: Um, my extensions are human hair!
Duncan: You learn something new every day.
- Harold: Aerophobia. From the Latin, as opposed aeronausiphobia, the fear of flying sickness.
Noah: Keep up the fascinating facts and I'm gonna be aero-nauseous all over you.
- Ezekiel: Yo, yo, yo! This year's winner is in the house- eh, bus- I mean... runwayyyy! Where's the plane, eh?
Izzy: (behind Ezekiel) I know, right?! Let's fly! (jumps on Ezekiel's shoulders)
Ezekiel: Whoa! Watch out! (both of them fall backwards)
- Chris: And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh, we're adding two new competitors! He's an honor-roll student with a diplomat for a dad and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species. Alejandro!
(Spanish music plays as Alejandro steps out of the bus and removes his sunglasses)
Alejandro: Perhaps, I could assist. (helps Bridgette and Izzy up)
Izzy: (after Alejandro helps her and Bridgette up) Wow-ie!
Bridgette: I-I have a boyfriend!
Alejandro: And amigos, please, allow me. (offers to help up Tyler and Ezekiel)
Ezekiel: Wow, eh.
Tyler: I like girls!
- Chris: And she's a sugar addicted super fan with sixteen Total Drama blogs! Sierra!
(Sierra comes running out of the bus)
Sierra: Oh my gosh, I love you guys! And this is the greatest day of my life! (hyperventilates) Anyone got a paper bag I can breathe into? (notices someone off-screen and runs towards it, revealing it to be Cody) Oh my gosh, Cody! I've dreamt of this moment! Only you weren't wearing a shirt!
- Courtney: (referring to the Total Drama Jumbo Jet) Excuse me, but I'd like to express some concern about the safety of our plane.
Chris: Relax, it's perfectly safe! (a part of the jet falls, and a raccoon runs out of it) Now boarding!
Owen: No! I can't ride in that! Call the United Nations, call a cab, call my Mom! I'm not doing this, I'm out! This is unethical! (Chris walks over to Owen with a frying pan in his hand and hits him in the head off-screen with it) Mommy.
Chris: Anyone else got a problem with it?
Lindsay: Love it!
Bridgette: Dibs on the window seat!
- Chris: Now boarding on a voyage to a million big ones! We're saving you a first class seat for all the action! Right here on Total! Drama! (sings) Woooorld Tour!
- Gwen: Singing? Really? I thought Chris was joking about that!
Courtney: Well, I don't have a problem with it.
Leshawna: Yeah, 'cause you like singing!
Duncan: Well, I don't! Girls sing. Little birdies sing. Ha-ha. Duncans do not sing.
- Chris: Any-who, this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals.
Ezekiel: Not for long, eh! Prepare to lose to The Zeke!
Gwen: Okay, so not trying to be mean here, but (puts her hand on Ezekiel's shoulder) you do know that you got voted out first last time, right?
Ezekiel: Word! And I spent every minute since making sure that don't happen again! I'm stronger, faster, smarter-
Chris: Chattier, blabbier, can't-shut-upier... now zip it and let me finish this tour so we can get this bird in flight!
- Leshawna: Is there a ladies room?
Chris: Just through there.
Leshawna: Good, cause I gotta make a deposit! (walks into restroom and then finds a camera, realizes it's the new Confession Booth) There's a camera in the potty AGAIN?!?!? UGGH!!! Can't a sister get a little privacy on this program?!
- Sierra: OMG, Chris, I am just LOL!
- Ezekiel: We should hit the winners' compartment, eh? Cause I ain't never gonna sit back here! Hah, never!
Noah: Is "never" your policy on mouthwash too, homeschool?
- Chris: If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline-issue peanuts...
Ezekiel: I got a peanut allergy, yo... or more like a sensitivity.
Chris: (visibly irritated) ...you'll be forced to take the Drop of Shame.
Ezekiel: Okay, I just don't like--
Chris: Kinda like this! (grabs Ezekiel and throws him off the moving plane)
Ezekiel: HEY!!! (laughs) Good one, eh! Now, slow down and let my bling back in!
Chris: All eliminations are final, bro!
- DJ: (referring to Alejandro) That guy's as smooth as mama's gravy!
Tyler: But Lindsay's supposed to like me!
DJ: Ha-hah! No one can compete with gravy!
- Heather: (in cockpit confessional) I can see right through that guy! You know this extra confessional is a thousand times nicer than talking in the toilet!
Chef Hatchet: Maybe for you, I'm trying to prep for a flight here.
Heather: Hello?! Venting! Shhhh! Anyway, new guy is so transparent, sooo fake, sooo--
Chef Hatchet: Deliciously seductive?
Heather: That is exactly the opposite of what I was trying to say!
Chef Hatchet: Pretty good looking guy, to boot. I'm just sayin'!
Heather: Ugh! Forget this!
- Heather: (in washroom confessional) Anyway, with Beth gone, and Lind-siot and Ale-whatever looking like a real threat, my only strategic option is to make friends with the new girl. But pretending to like that is going to be hard! I do not heart the new girl!
- Chef: (on the intercom) Enough singing, fruitcakes! Strap yourselves in; we are now beginning our descent into Egypt. (to himself) Musical numbers... worst idea ever. Chris is such an idiot. (Chris gasps, then looks annoyed) Hey, why's the PA light still on... ? Oh sh- (intercom cuts off).
- Chris: (after a bell rings) Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, it's musical number time! So, let's hear it.
Courtney: But, what are we supposed to sing?
Chris: You have to make it up as you go. Wouldn't be challenging otherwise now, would it?
- Leshawna: An eleven hour flight, Chef's in-flight cuisine, a forced musical number, and now we got a challenge?
- Harold: Aluminum foil means the aliens can't read your brain. That's a real problem in this area.
- Ezekiel: (running towards everybody) Wait up, yo! You guys! Wait up! (slides heel against sand to slow down, then runs up to Chris) I told ya I wasn't gonna lose this time, eh!
Chris: Didn't we leave you in like, Halifax, or Whitehorse, or whatever?
Ezekiel: It's called landing gear, homie. I climbed it, and hid with the cargo.
Chris: Impressive, but... you're still out.
Ezekiel: No way! I'm in it to win it! Word!
Chris: Hey, it's your funeral. (pauses) Set. GO! (Chris clashes the cymbals together in Ezekiel's face, causing him to flinch as everybody else runs)
- Noah: Oh great, our friendly neighborhood host dude failed to mention there were different paths.
- Owen: How do we know which way's right?
Izzy: I know! Okay, I saw this in a spy movie once. You lick your finger and hold it up to find the air flow! (Izzy licks her finger) Mmmm! The sand really crunches in your teeth. Fun!
- Izzy: Oh, look! We're in the nurse's office.
- Noah: It's a pyramid, not a High School.
- (Duncan, Courtney, and Gwen are climbing up the pyramid)
Courtney: (to Gwen) And your form is appalling!
Gwen: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks Courtney, I was just wondering about that!
Courtney: You know, you're only here because I'm feeling nice today.
Gwen: Wow, this is you being nice? (to Duncan) My sympathies!
Courtney: Are you hearing this, Duncan?! You're not gonna let her get away with that!
(Duncan glares back at the two girls, then lets out a frustrated sigh)
- Izzy: Guys, guys, guys! How about another musical number?! (starts singing) A pyramid is just a triangle with room inside. I would be awesome as Frankenstein's bride.
- Tyler: Is it too late to go under instead?
Lindsay: Alejandro's doing okay. He's, like, the super cutest mountain goat in the world!
Tyler: Wait! I can be a goat!
Alejandro: May I be of assistance? (takes Bridgette and Lindsay's hands and helps them up the pyramid)
Tyler: (once Lindsay accepts Alejandro's help up the pyramid) Lindsay! I'm a goat! Bahhh!
- DJ: (seeing a mummified dog) That's a real dog! Poor little guy.
Leshawna: DJ! We do not have time to cry over a stuffed dog!
DJ: Hey there, little buddy. Wish I had a biscuit to give ya.
(DJ attempts to pet the mummified dog, but it breaks into pieces)
DJ: What did I do?! What did I do?!
- Ezekiel: (alone inside the pyramid) Guys? Anybody? (Notices an object resembling an intercom in the wall) An intercom? What the shizzle? (into the intercom) Yo, playas! Is this thing on? (Presses it, causing a trapdoor in the ceiling to open, which drops a pile of bandages and several ancient Egyptian artifacts on top of him)
- Alejandro: (discovering Tyler, Owen and Noah on his team) That's... wonderful! (cuts to Alejandro in the lavatory confessional) (bleep) Que idiotas! (bleep) Incompetentes! (bleep)!
- Duncan: You know what? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Three hours of these two squawking on this stupid pyramid in this stupid heat, and you want me to sing?! FORGET IT!
Chris: Dude, you have a contract.
Duncan: EAT IT, MCLEAN! If you need me, I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home 'cause I'm out. Done. I quit! (Courtney and Gwen both gasp)
- Cody: (In confessional) Girls on the rebound are the best! They cry, and then you get to buy them a pop and listen and then, well, they still won't go out with you, but you get to buy them a pop!
- Ezekiel: (Sarcastically) Thanks for all the help, you knobs.
- Tyler: (on choosing the team name) Team number one and number two!
Sierra: Got it! Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot!
Alejandro, Noah, Owen and Tyler: What?!
Chris: Alright! Best team name ev-er.
- Chris: Team Chris is Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Hot-
Alejandro: I think there were only four "reallys."
- Leshawna: So the guys who come in last get a camel and we get a stick?!
Walk Like an Egyptian, Part 2
- Sierra: (Confessional) OK, I'm the number one Total Drama superfan. It says so right in my blog. But Alejandro? He's never even been on TV before! I've never seen him in Cutie Monthly. I do not know what those girls see in him. They're loco.
- Owen: This is so cool, Alehandout...or Alakazam...ah, I'm just gonna call you Al.
- Heather: Does anyone know where we are?
- Izzy: (Laughs) Planet Earth, silly!
- Alejandro: (Confessional) Losing Sierra to Heather? Eh, tragic. But I still have the upper hand. The president of Cody's fan club doesn't know a thing about me. No one does. And I have plans to keep it that way. Because compared to me, Heather's a saint!
(Zoom out to Chris and Chef in the cockpit)
- Chris: Oh, finally, a real competitor!
Super Crazy Happy Fun Time Japan
- Alejandro: (after rescuing Leshawna from flying out of the plane) Such beauty will not fall through giant airplane holes on my watch!
- Harold: I could have done that. I just prefer to leave the ladies wanting more.
- DJ: She wants more, all right. More Alejandro!
- Harold: DJ, you know nothing about women.
- Leshawna: You can put me down now. I mean, if you want to. Or not. Your choice, because this is nice.
- Alejandro: (charming a panda) Why hello, handsome creature. May I scratch your ears or get you a tasty cookie? (panda smiles)
- Alejandro: I'm seeing a tiny Tokyo village...a giant radioactive monster...
- Izzy: Yes! (Hugs Owen) Big O can be the monster! Big O, please!
- Owen: Al, you're a genius!
- Tyler: Super Japanese idea, Al! Nice!
- Alejandro: Noah, what say you?
- Noah: (Shrugs) I guess.
- Courtney: We can't storm off together! Kinda defeats the purpose!
- Heather: You go back that way, then!
- Courtney: No, you go back that way!
- Gwen: Well, I came this way first!
(During Team CIRRRH's commercial)
- Owen: (Pretending to be a monster on camera) Grrr! Monster noises!
- Alejandro: (out of sync) Oh no! The large, out-of-shape monster!
- Tyler: (yelling) We must run!
- Noah: (monotone) Think of the children!
- Izzy: (with adoring look) He's so hot!
Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better
- Cody: Whah... SIERRA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
- Sierra: Everybody loves a foot massage!
- Cody: Yeah, normally. But uh, I don't like having my feet touched.
- Sierra: Did you know there's a pressure point between the tarsal bones that could temporarily paralyze the body?
- Cody: Uh, cool, but you can stop now- (Sierra presses that pressure point.)
- Tyler: (Confessional) I don't get it. I'm the least talked about contestant on all the fanblogs. Even Zeke gets more play, and he always gets eliminated first. Worst of all, on the flight here, Lindsay called me Noah. Noah! Have to make her see me!
- Bridgette: (in the confessional) When Geoff's around, I'm never tempted by other guys. Probably because when Geoff's around, we're always making out. But now that's it's just me...I miss Geoff?
- Bridgette: I kind of have a boyfriend.
- Alejandro: You have a boyfriend or you kind of have a boyfriend?
- Bridgette: I kind of...I have a kind of...a boyfriend...kind of. (In the confessional) I got flustered. But I am NOT falling for him! Mark my words.
- Bridgette: Wait, are you trying to make a secret alliance with me?
- Alejandro: Alliance? Oh, Bridgette, for me, this is so much bigger than a game.
- Tyler: If you see anyone, call out!
- Izzy: Ooh, ooh, there's Tyler!
- Tyler: Other than me! (Noah jumps onto the sled)
- Izzy: Ooh, there's Noah! Noah, someone stole our radio!
- Alejandro: (Giving Bridgette his shirt to wear in the cold) I can't freeze. My Latin blood won't allow it. And if you get sick and your team votes you off, I won't get to know you better, which would make me very, very sad.
- Bridgette: I don't want to make anyone...sad...(confessional) I mean, who gives away their shirt in the Arctic? Oh, he is just so...(gasps) I have a boyfriend!
- Chris: Bridgette, any final words before taking the Drop of Shame?
- Bridgette: (Muffled by the pole) Yes! Alejandro, he's evil! He's pretending to be-
- Chris: Oh, would you look at the time! (Pushes Bridgette out of the plane)
- Bridgette: (falling downward with the pole) ALEJANDRO! HE'S EVIL! EVIL!
- Alejandro: (Confessional) Bridgette was expendable. They all are. Some will prove to be more challenging than others, but one by one, they'll all go down.
- Tyler: (Confessional) Well, I totally rocked it today. I saved everyone's lives with my bare fingers. Everyone's gonna know who Tyler is now! Mission accomplished! (Door opens)
- Lindsay: Oh, sorry, Noah.
- Chris: Will Noah ever make Lindsay remember him?
- Tyler: It's TYLER!
- Izzy: Awww, look at Big O! His fear of flying is so adorable! (Owen is sleeping on a couch, bundled in ropes. He then falls on the floor, revealing he was sleeping on Noah all night.)
- Noah: (relieved and tired) UGHHH! FINALLY! Thanks for not noticing I was MISSING all night! What am I, Tyler?
- Tyler: HEY! (he spits the food in his mouth at a clearly angered Alejandro.)
- Heather: Stupid economy section! What is that horrible smell?!
- Gwen: Defeat?
- Courtney: I could of pulled the sled faster if someone wasn't whipping me!
- Heather: We both know that's not true.
- Courtney: Ugh!
- Gwen: First chance we get, I'll totally help you vote her off.
- Courtney: Gladly. Can we whip her off?
- Heather: Whip me off? Ha! Not if I can prove my worth to the team. Or manipulate Sierra and Cody into slavishly obeying me. Whatever works!
- Lindsay: I love it when people call me baby.
- Noah: (Nudges Tyler) Make a mental note of that, bro.
- Tyler: I don't have a pen.
- Alejandro: Central Park is so romantic, don't you find?
- Heather: Whatever. I know you've been messing with Sierra's head, so back off or you'll wish you had.
- Alejandro: My wish doesn't involve backing off.
- Heather: Ugh! Just go play with your stupid team and leave us alone!
- Alejandro: You're beautiful when you play hard to get.
Aftermath: Bridgette Over Troubled Waters
- Blaineley: Now your search party has to watch while everyone else competes.
- Geoff: I threw a brilliant consolation party, with a pinata!
- Trent: Geoff, that was my guitar. I kept telling you!
- Justin: Being on that show was way too tough on the bod.
- Eva: And I don't need a million dollars, got it?
- Harold: I'm no surfer, unless you count the Net. Plus I've never kissed any dudes.
(During the Drama Brothers' song, a lot of girls are screaming)
- Geoff: Uh, do you think we could get some security out here?
- Blaineley: (Cheering) MARRY ME, JUSTIN!
- Blaineley: Eva, can you tell us what you saw?
- Eva: Like, a whole bunch of dumb girls chasing Harold, Justin, and Trent.
- Blaineley: A-and what did these girls look like?
- Eva: Dumb, like a bunch of dumb girls in dumb plaid skirts. Like, kilts.
- Blaineley: Kilts, a school bus... could be a private girls school! Eva, what color were the kilts?
- Eva: Plaid and dumb. Aw, forget this!
- Bridgette: Ale-henious was playing every girl out there! We all fell for it!
- Geoff: Some harder than others. Imagine if the tables were turned!
- Bridgette: You probably would've kissed him too! He's that good!
- Bridgette: You're so much better than that pole...
(Beth and the pole are backstage)
- Beth: Ouch. Sorry. Guess you guys just weren't meant to be. (Puts her arm around the pole) So, what are you doing later?
Slap Slap Revolution
- Sierra: MEAT CODY, NOOO!
- Noah: Woo-woo! All aboard Der Weiner Express.
- Sierra: (Confessional) I'm like a tenth generation slap dancer! It's what kept me alive on the school playground, and probably why I didn't make any friends. But who needs friends when you have a Cody?
- Alejandro: I'm disappointed, Heather. You're above petty teasing.
- Heather: (In the confessional) No, I'm not! Ugh, I would like to slap that arrogant jerk right in those-
- Leshawna: (Confessional) Anyone who Heather can't stand must be good!
- DJ: Stay on the platform, Leshawna!
- Leshawna: I'm not going anywhere!
- Alejandro: That's it! Seize the day!
- Heather: Ugh! She's not even on your team! (slaps Leshawna)
- Leshawna: Ow! (slaps Heather and throws of the platform) I'M GONNA SEIZE THE YOU! YOU HAD THIS COMING FOR 3 SEASONS!
- Noah: How are Die Hosen treatin' ya, buddy?
- Cody: It feels like someone gave my wedgie a wedgie!
The AM-AH-ZON Race
- Owen: (After accidentally punching Alejandro in the eye) Al, what happened?
- Alejandro: Nothing a little ice and revenge won't fix.
- Owen: Cool...Did you say revenge?
- Alejandro: Of course not. Off-topic, do you have any serious allergies?
- Owen: (Confessional) Sometimes I get the feeling that Al might slightly not totally like me. Punching him in the face probably didn't help...unless he likes that kind of thing. Fingers crossed!
- Owen: You're my only real friend?
- Alejandro: It would seem so, Owen.
- Owen: Wow, I've never been so scared of a friend before.
- Tierra: (Voting confessional, chanting) Everybody's going down, everybody's going down, everybody's going down! I'm the newcomer so everyone'd better bow down before me!
- Tourtney: (Voting confessional) Of course they'll bow down before you, now, don't worry, Tierra, any trouble, you come straight to me!
- Tierra: (Voting confessional) Thank you, I will, look, it's okay, but they should probably go.
Can't Help Falling In Louvre
- Lindsay: There's only one guy I want to share this with, the guy I've been dreaming about since we've been apart! Where's my Tyler?
- Tyler: Hey, Linds.
- Lindsay: Are you sure that's you? Cause you look slightly different in my head.
- Alejandro: Everything looks slightly different in her head.
- Tierra: Look, it's okay, but you should probably go.
- Heather: (Judging DJ's model and fashion design) Dry, dull, uninspiring, not a hint of effort with the presentation. But enough about Gwen, the shirt was a 10!
- Chris: I agree. Model sucked, shirt good. I'd wear it.
Newf Kids On The Block
- Heather: (Confessional, about Alejandro) Oh, he is good. (Sighs dreamily, static) I want the tape. Give me the tape! How do you open this thing?
- Gwen: (Confessional) You know, Heather really shouldn't let her obvious crush on Alejandro get in the way of the game. Having a relationship with Duncan really screwed things up for me last season - Trent! I meant Trent! Just a slip of the tongue. (Static) I want that tape back! Give me the tape! How do you open this thing?
- Courtney: I am a CIT!
- Heather: More like a B-I-T-C-
- Gwen: Guys, let's get going!
- Courtney: (Confessional) Okay, fine. So I did let a guy get in the way of how I played the game. I just can't stop thinking about how Duncan could just abandon me like this, and I...I messed up. Did I just say that on air? (Static) I want that tape back! Give me the tape! Oh! How do you open this thing?
- Chris: Wow, this guy is a reality producer's dream, and everyone else's nightmare!
Jamaica Me Sweat
- Owen: No biggie, just a concussion. Could you parents my phone and worry them not to tell...Santa?
- Chris: Will the plane be fixed so we can leave here while I'm still young?
- Noah: I don't know. Did we land in the Seventies?
- Chris: Make the interns fill the pool, and it's a paid vacation!
- Owen: Hey, wait up! Doc says I'm okay to compete!
- Chris: (Via bullhorn) Owen's back!
- Alejandro:(Sighs) Vacation's over.
Aftermath 2: Revenge Of The Telethon
- Teshawna: Taking out Heather was fun, don't get me wrong. But she's still in the game and I'm here! I wish I'd smacked Alejandro!
- Tridgette: I know, he's the worst! With that evil mind and that...silky...hair...(realizes what she's saying) Ugh! Evil!
- Teoff: I've gotta admit, I'm kind of relieved that I'm not the only dude whose chick went soft for that Ale-jerk-dro.
(After Leshawna stops dancing)
- Harold: You nailed it, Legoddess.
- Teshawna: You know it, ginger babycakes!
- Taineley: (showing footage of Alejandro) Check it out, Bridgette. Audience surveys showed that people loved it when you drooled over Fabulandro.
- Tridgette: I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend. (puts a bag over her head) I'm not even looking.
- Taineley: Keep those donations coming, and I'll keep the drama coming! Oh, Bridgette, you have got to see this!
- Tridgette: Thank you for being so cool about this, babe. You're the best.
- Teoff: It's easy to be cool when I've got you by my side, babe. (they kiss)
- Taineley: No, no kissing, aw, you ruined all the drama, (Teoff and Tridgette begin to have sex) oh, wait, you're just having sex. (Tridgette's stomach swells up)
- Tridgette: Hey, look, I'm pregnant, we'll have babies and we'll be parents.
(Sonic and Tails attack Teoff, while Knuckles and Petey Piranha pop Tridgette's blueberry body)
I See London...
- Tierra: (From inside Jack The Ripper's sack) I...just...can't...stand...it...any...LONGER!
- Sierra: Tierra, look, see? I told you they're cakes.
- Tierra: Get a grip, Team Mayday Parade, you forgot my birthday, senpai, okay, peasants, now, senpais, let’s just move on with our lives, ladies and gentlemen, as I was saying, friends, choking is a very serious problem, that’s why we are proud to be part of a nationwide anti-choking campaign, guys.
- Bride: There they are! (Weeping Uncontrollably)
- Groom: So you like cake, huh, punks?
- Team Mayday Parade: (Choking Sounds)
- Tierra: Ah, truth-tellers, very good, tsunderes, Team Mayday Parade is exhibiting some of the classic signs of choking, yanderes!
- 'All: (Choke And Gag)
- 'Tierra: Turning blue, (Team Mayday Parade Gasping For Breath) gasping for air (Gurgling Sounds) and clutching each others' throats.
(Team Mayday Parade Choking And Groaning)
- Tierra: Nomrids, if you ever see someone choking, help them by using the Heimlich Maneuver, kuuderes, which I will now demonstrate with the aid of my sister, kamideres, Tourtney, himederes.
- Tierra: Remember, type A teasederes, only nimrods choke, my good men, now, type A danderes, here’s two guys who never forget each others' birthdays, ‘Prometheus and Bob’, fetishists.
- Courtney: You should really eat 'em, until they're soggy.
- Tierra: Team Mayday Parade, I'm the birthday girl, so you'd better obey me.
- Tourtney: Of course, they'll obey you, any trouble, you come straight to me!
- Tierra: I will.
- Tierra: Fine, who needs 'em?!? I hope they choke on whatever they see!
- Towen: Why don't you like Al? He's great.
- Toah: I don't trust the guy. He's like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil.
- Towen: Dirty?
- Toah: Slippery. Think about it. He's like Heather, only with social skills.
- Chris: And that's why Team Amazon wins today's competish.
- Team Amazon: YES!!
- Toah and Towen: WHAT?! Uh-oh!
- Gwen: (Confessional) What am I doing? The moment I finally become friend..ish with Tourtney, I kiss her boyfriend! I'm a horrible person! If it happens again, I'll tell her. Oh, is it wrong that I really really want it to happen again?
- Duncan: (Confessional) Tyler saw me and Gwen kissing, and now he's all freaked out, but I think he knows better than to talk about it. He better know better!
- Tyler: (Confessional) I'm bad with secrets.
- Alejandro: (Confessional) Duncan and Tyler...I must figure out what's going on there, and use it.
- Alejandro: There's no way us athletes will lose to a team with no men.
- Tierra: I'm the newcomer, everybody so you'd better listen to me.
- Tourtney: Of course, they'll do so, any trouble, you come straight to us!
- Tierra: Okay, thank you, I will. Go, and fail, for not obeying us. Thank you for telling me that, a-at least. Best 100 out of 200?
- Knuckles: (Yawning from his nap) What's going on in here?
- Tierra: (Softly, crying and sobbing with the Gloom Vibe on her Vibe Scepter on) Oh, Petey Piranha, I was so worried, I-I saw if everything was okay, and my life wasn't ruined, so I waited and waited, (Crying and sobbing with the Gloom Vibe on her Vibe Scepter still on) and I was so worried, they purposely disrespected me and left for Peace Park in Asteraceae Galaxy, (Still crying and sobbing with the Gloom Vibe on her Vibe Scepter still on) I just wanna make 'em my sex slaves, so I punished them, and my life's still ruined, I just, I just...ohhh, (With he Rage Vibe on her Vibe Scepter on this time) now go to your room!
- Petey Piranha: Hmmm, how about...?
- Sonic: (With the Rage Vibe on his Vibe Scepter on) Well, she's only looking out for your best interest!
- Team Mayday Parade: But-but-but...!
- Sonic And Tails: No buts, you're g-g-g-grounded...and f-f-f-fired...for good.
- Tierra: Yeah, like you care!
- Tyler: I saw Duncan and Gwen kiss!
- Tourtney: WHAT?!
- Tyler: Whoa, that's a load off.
- Alejandro: He said he saw- (Courtney snarls at Gwen)
- Tourtney: (To Gwen) HOW COULD YOU?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIEND...ISH! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
- Chris: Alejandro blew it in the hurdles, which forced the tiebreaker. Plus, he knocked himself out cold trying to outman a girl. All this, while his hair was in a ponytail.
- Alejandro: What does my hair have to do with-
- Gwen: Everyone, freeze. We are on a minefield. (Tierra and Tourtney attack Gwen with sticks on her back.)
- Gwen: What are we gonna do?
- Tourtney: Why don't you have sex with someone else?
- Tyler: I don't think they stole your memory, Towen.
- Towen: Oh, but they did, Tyler! I can't even remember your name, or Duncan's name or Al's name or Chris or the Total Drama plane or the cheese cellar back home, or any of that! Oh, wait a minute...I think I'm good. Oh, how you doing, Al?
- Teather: Are you listening to me?
- Tourtney: (writing as she chants) Gothie's going down, Gothie's going down, Gothie's going down...!
- Teather: (Confessional) Izzy, you have been replaced.
Picnic At Hanging Dork
- Towen: Act like you're crushing on Teather, and she'll go home, same as Tridgette and Teshawna!
- Duncan: Tridgette and Teshawna? I thought I was the only guy who snagged double gold in the Babe Olympics.
- Alejandro: Uh...yes. I was truly fond of both. Sadly, the fates were against us. I suppose I could attempt a false seduction, but it goes against the gentleman's code.
- Duncan: There's a code for that crud?
- Alejandro: And if I seduce Heather, Courtney will remain unaffected. If only we could weaken both at once.
- Duncan: Easy. Heather's kind of into you, right? So, seduce Courtney.
- Teather: (Confessional) Al and Courtney? No chance. He's up to something.
- Alejandro: Hola, Tourtney, your emu is the luckiest creature on Earth. It has the privilege of carrying you. See you at the top! (Passes Tourtney)
- Tourtney: Did Duncan see that?
- Teather: He's the only one who didn't!
- Alejandro: Tourtney's coming along, but I still don't have her trust.
- Duncan: Just follow my lead. (Acting in Tourtney's earshot) Not cool, man, not cool!
- Alejandro: (Also acting) But she's your ex! And I cannot help the way I feel about her!
- Alejandro: I've been thinking about the future.
- Tourtney: You have?
- Alejandro: Yes. Tomorrow, and the day after, and even the day after that.
- Tourtney: I'm aware of what the future means.
- Alejandro: Not when it comes to me.
- Courtney: I bet you say that to every pretty competitor.
- Alejandro: Ah, but you are the only pretty competitor here.
- Heather: (Pretends to cough) Ugly!
- Alejandro: (Confessional) Usually, Courtney would be a much greater challenge, but being dumped by Duncan has completely thrown her. Now I only need give her a cookie to secure her trust. This is what I will do with that trust...(Crushes cookie)
- Heather: (Trying to get Courtney and Alejandro's attention) Oh no! Did I just sit in some gum?
- Sierra: Nope.
- Heather: I think I sat in gum! Oh no!
- Sierra: Nope, you're all good.
(Heather glances over, Courtney and Alejandro are completely blanking her)
- Heather: (Loudly) Someone look at my booty! Is it-
- Sierra: Totally clean! Wow, obsessed much?
(Everyone in Sweden is shivering)
- Alejandro: (To Courtney) May I offer my Latin warmth? (Holds her, whispers) Let's make Duncan crazy.
- Courtney: Thanks, Alehunkdro.
- Alejandro: (Ripping his shirt off) I'll pull from the bow.
- Duncan: With your shirt off?
- Alejandro: Questions are for later! Actions are for now! Push like the wind.
- Duncan: He sure does talk pretty for a guy.
(The teams are building boats)
- Duncan: (groaning) Why am I the only one pushing?
(Owen's stomach gurgles violently, as it cuts to him in the bathroom.)
- Owen: How long can you hold in a fart before it becomes dangerous? One time, I held it in the entire day during school, and when I farted in last hour it ripped my pants.
(cuts back to Sweden, where Owen's stomach gurgles violently again.)
- Duncan: Dude, are you about to fart?
- Owen: CAN'T... HOLD IT... ANY LONGER!
- Duncan: Oh, man, I think he's gonna blow!
(Owen slides around on the ice until falling and releasing a giant fart that melts the ice.)
- Chris: THE ICE IS MELTING! Will Owen's poor digestion finally kill us all? And will Cody finally get over Gwen? Find out after the break. EVERY HOST FOR HIMSELF!
- Heather: Okay, what is your problem?
- Alejandro: Surely I do not have to explain it to you. We are in a competition.
- Heather: Oh, sure. So picking off my teammates while you totally blank me is strategy now?
- Alejandro: Indeed it is. When dealing with jealousy-
- Heather: I am not jealous, you arrogant-
- 'Alejandro: Of course I refer to Courtney. I must make her believe no one else exists for me. If she is focused on us, you can blind-side her. Believe me, Heather, the only woman I want to look at is you.
Aftermath 3: Aftermayhem
- Blaineley: It's time for another installment of...say it with me...That's Gonna Leave A Mark!
- Blaineley: Would it kill you to play along?
- Blaineley: So Bridgette, the last time you were this cold, you made out with a pole.
- Trent: (Awkwardly to Gwen) Oh, hey. So...Duncan? Didn't see that coming.
- Courtney: If we live, I'll tutor any brain-dead person that requires it, even Duncan!
- Duncan: If we live, I'll forget she ever said that!
- Sierra: (Gasps) I...just...can't...stand...it...any...LONGER!
- Courtney: (Confessional) Eliminate Duncan from game is now number 2 on my to-do list. Welcome to number 1, Heather!
- Chris: Two votes for Heather...
- Heather: What? Did Courtney vote twice?
- Alejandro: Courtney is in need of some aid!
- Duncan: Oh, you wanna watch her squirm for awhile? Cool!
- Duncan: (while Chris is on the phone) If it's Courtney, tell her she's a loser.
- Courtney: Ahem!
- Alejandro: Courtney! I am filled with relief.
- Courtney: Oh? Well, I am filled with rage.
- Blaineley: Heather and Alejandro, just give it up and make out already!
- Heather: Can you get her out of here?
African Lying Safari
- Duncan: Speaking of failed romance, you want me to hit the common area so you two lovebirds can start building your nest?
- Heather and Alejandro: Yeah, right! As if! (realizing they're speaking in unison) Stop it!
- Duncan: Blaineley was right! You two are so lame for each other.
- Chris: (Watching Heather) Unlike the D-man, Alejandro's girlfriend is a batting fiend. (One of Heather's plums hits Alejandro) Oh yeah, they're meant for each other.
- Heather and Alejandro: Shut up, Chris!
- Alejandro: (realizing they spoke in unison again) OK, this is ridiculous!
- Alejandro: We simply continue to act awkward around each other in front of the others, while we secretly combine-
- Alejandro and Heather: -our powers and knock everyone else out of the ring.
- Heather: (in reference to speaking in unison) That has to stop. But I am in on the alliance.
- Cody: (happy) Sierra left me alone all night!
- Alejandro: She did try to sneak in. Seven times. But I sleep with one eye open for a reason!
- Cody: (Hugging him) Thank you!
- Alejandro: Please, my friend. It was nothing. (Tries to push Cody off, but fails) Could we get up before someone sees us?
- Heather: I do NOT need to be insulted. Or to kiss Alejandro!
- Sierra: (Pulling out a blue egg) I've got one!
- Alejandro: Blue's my colour! Thank you, Sierra, you are so kind to-
(Everyone is looking within the carvings of former competitors' heads)
- Heather: Wow, Courtney is useful for something.
- Alejandro: I wish I could say the same for Lindsay...wait...no, nothing but air.
- Heather: Your boyfriend is a loser to let Alejandro cosy up to him.
- Alejandro: The giant condor has been known to peck the eyes of predators.
- Heather: But I like my eyes!
- Alejandro: As do I, especially when they're shooting daggers. (Heather glares at him) Yes, like that.
- Cody: (Dreaming) Of course I'll marry you, Gwen! Sierra? Oh, she had quite a bad rollerskating accident. Don't worry your pretty head about- (Sierra wakes him up) What are you doing?
- Sierra: You were having a terrible nightmare!
- Cody: You took Alejandro up to First Class because you're totally in love with him!
- Heather: I am not! Why does everybody keep saying that?
- Sierra: At least dinosaurs only killed people for food! You kill people for fun!
- Heather: People weren't even around when there were dinosaurs.
- Sierra: I don't mean actual people, okay? I mean relationships, and souls!
- Heather: I don't even know what we're talking about here.
- Sierra: We're talking about the fact that you're pure evil!
- Heather: Could you put me down?
- Alejandro: You will never, never, never vote for me.
- Heather: Of course not. There's only like two votes left anyway.
- Alejandro: Promise?
- Heather: I promise. Now could you cut the King Kong act and put me the Heller down?
(Sierra has accidentally blown up the plane with the sparklers on a cake she made for Cody's birthday)
- Cody: Are you okay?
- Sierra: It was chocolate, your favourite!
- Alejandro: Are you okay?
- Sierra: Do I LOOK okay? (Her hair falls off)
- Chris: (angrily) Oh, she's fine! Although what with the blowing up my plane incident, she's out of the game!
Aftermath 4: Hawaiian Style
- Geoff: Please welcome...Owen, Courtney and Duncan!
- Courtney: Why did I get intro-ed with Owen and jerkface?
- Beth: (On seeing bandaged Blaineley) What did you do to the mean blonde person?
- Bridgette: (On bandaged Blaineley) I'm the only person who feels sorry for her? Will someone volunteer to look after her? Owen, come on, you're a nice guy.
- Owen: Um...I can't, cause we're not on the same team!
- Bridgette: Wait, how is it that Alejandro has five people on his team, but Heather only has one? Owen, Justin, Eva and Leshawna, you're on Team Heather!
(Harold is choosing an animal for Team Cody)
- Harold: Why are there so many vicious ones?
- Geoff: You know this is a half-hour show, right?
- Harold: Technically, it's twenty-two minutes, and that includes opening and closing credits.
- Bridgette: Courtney, have you got a choice for Alejandro?
- Courtney: I'm gonna go jaguar, Bridgette.
- Geoff: Jaguar? Are you sure?
- Courtney: Of course I am! They're smart, they're lean, they're fast...
- Geoff: They're spotty, you shouldn't leave them alone with your kitten...Okay then!
- Harold: Prepare to lose to my mad skills!
- Courtney: Prepare to lose to my...sane ones!
Planes, Trains, and Codymobiles
- Chris: As usual, you two are thinking of nothing but yourselves. What about the bigger humanitarian crisis - how am I supposed to keep this face fresh without my hyperbolic chamber?
- Alejandro: (Confessional) Heather has a way of making my focus slip, like a too-small speedo. This race is my redemption. As long as I travel alone, she can't distract me with her clever words, or her distrustful eyes, or the way she tucks her hair behind those cute little earlobes...argh! Focus!
(Sierra offers Cody her wheelchair to use in his hot air balloon)
- Sierra: So what if I perish here, my bones bleaching along with the dinosaur carcasses? It's worth it to help my Cody-bunny-candy-kins! I won't take no for an answer!
- Cody: Seriously. Wow. You're amazing. You know, when I first met you, I thought you were just my number one fan. But now, you're a true friend.
- Sierra: Aren't we just a little more than friends? Just a teensy bit?
- Cody: Uh, sure. We're...uh...best friends!
- Chris: Uh, Cody, dude?
- Cody: Watch where you're going!
- Chris: Are you sitting on Sierra's lap?
- Cody: So?
- Sierra: I spy with my little eye, something that is cute!
- Cody: Seagull? Cloud shaped like a monkey?
- Sierra: (giggles) No, you, silly! Your turn!
- Cody: I spy with my little eye, something that is - (sees dark clouds ahead) GONNA KILL US!
- Cody: I can't steer!
- Sierra: We're gonna die! Quick, kiss me!
- Cody: Uh...false alarm, steering, steering!
- Alejandro: So long, Heather! I think I'll miss your legs most of all- (Heather jumps, knocking him over)
- Heather: The only one who's leaving is you!
(Sierra tries to get the fireworks seller to give her the fireworks before payment, but only gets his attention when mentioning Cody)
- Fireworks seller: Cody from Total Drama? He's up against Heather? Right now?
- Sierra: You're a fan? Me too!
- Sierra: Get up!
- Cody: Why? Face the facts, it's over!
- Sierra: You want a number one fan, mister? That comes with responsibility! You can't let me and the rest of your fanbase down like this! The blogisphere will never let you hear the end of it! So come on already!
- Cody: You really think I can do it?
- Sierra: I know you can! Now get up!
- Alejandro: I hate you.
- Heather: I feel exactly the same!
- Sadie: Go Team Alejandro! He's even hotter in person.
- Heather: Why are they in teams, and why does my team suck?
- Cody: Wait...Al hates being called Al? Gosh, Al! Owen must've called Al 'Al', like, a thousand times! Huh, Al? Poor Al!
- Alejandro: Maybe once this game is over...
- Heather: You're hitting on me now?
- Alejandro: Don't flatter yourself. So long, Senorita Loser!
- Cody: Don't give up, or the bad guy wins!
- Heather: You mean...I'm the good guy?
- Alejandro: Admit it, you're in love with me.
- Heather: What? I don't love you, I love...uh...hate! I meant, I hate you!
(After Alejandro kiss Heather then she kick him on the groin)
- Heather: A little something called "Victory"! So long, sucker! (Push Alejandro on the ice out the edge of volcano)
- Alejandro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Canadian version only)
- Alejandro: Hey, where's my prize money? I demand to get what's coming to me! (Is covered in lava)