Total Drama Island

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Total Drama Island (2007) is a Canadian animated television series which lampoons the conventions commonly found in reality shows.

Not So Happy Campers, Part 1[edit]

Chris: Ezekial, what's up, man?
Ezekiel: (looks up to the sky to see quite literally "what's up") I think I see a bird.

Courtney: Hi, you must be the other contestants. It's really nice to meet you all.

Owen: This is just so...
Gwen: Awesome?
Owen: Yes! Awesome! Are you gonna be on my team?
Gwen: (signalling "crazy") Oh, I sure hope so.

Izzy: (on the boat) Hi Chris, hi, hi! (she jumps onto the boardwalk, but missteps and hits her head on it before falling into the water below.)
Tyler: Ooh, that was bad. (chuckles)
Courtney: Guys, she could be seriously hurt. (pulls Izzy out of the water)
Izzy: That felt so good, except for hitting my chin.

Chris: Here's a deal, we're gotta split you in the 2 teams If I call your name out. Go stand over there. Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Katie, Owen, LeShawna, Justin, and Noah. From this moment on you are officially known as…. the "Screaming Gophers"!

Lindsay: (to Chris, about the washrooms) (Canadian version) Communal bathrooms? But I'm not Catholic. (Both US and UK dubs) Where's the spa? I'm confused.
Chris: (Canadian version, but mouthed in both US and UK dubs) Not communion, communal. (Both US and UK dubs) Wow, that's a shocker.
Gwen: It means we shower together. (muttering) Idiot.
Owen: I'm glad we're in our own cabin with just guys, you know what I mean? (Guys give him weird looks) I mean, no, I didn't mean it like that! I love chicks! I just don't wanna sleep near them. I mean...

Chris: The rest of you over there. Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Izzy, Courtney, Ezekial, Duncan, Eva, and Harold. Move, move, move, move, move!
Sadie: But Katie is a gopher! I have to be a gopher!
Courtney: Sadie is it? C'mon! It'll be okay.
Sadie: This is so unfair! I miss you Katie!
Katie: I miss you, too!
Chris: You guys will be officially known as…. the "Killer Bass"!

Geoff: Yo, my man, can we order a pizza? (Chef throws a knife at the wall, scaring Geoff) Woah, it's cool, G, brown slop is cool!

Katie: What do you think he'll make us do?
DJ: It's our first challenge, how hard can it be?

(scene changes to the highest cliff)

DJ: Oh sh*t!

Not So Happy Campers, Part 2[edit]

Courtney: Excuse me Chris. I have a medical condition.
Chris: What condition?
Courtney: A condition that prevents me from jumping off cliffs.

Courtney: It's a calculated risk. I've seen the other team, and I don't think nine of them will jump. (cuts to the Screaming Gophers, looking strange)
Chris: All right... (puts chicken hat on Courtney, Courtney stares at it surprisingly)... here is your chicken hat. Let's tally up the results. That's eight jumpers and two chickens. We're missing one.
Sadie: I'm not jumping without Katie!
Katie: We have to be on the same team, Chris.
Katie and Sadie: Please? Please? Can we? Can we, Chris? Can we? Can we?
Izzy: I'll switch places with her.
Chris: Alright, fine, you're both on the Killer Bass now. Izzy, you're on the Screaming Gophers.
Katie and Sadie: Yes!
Chris: That means you're up, girls.
Katie and Sadie: We're coming, Killer Bass! (both jump) Aaaah! (both land in the safe zone)
Chris: Alright, that's nine jumpers and two chickens.

Heather: I'm sorry. There's no way I'm doing this.
Beth: Why not?
Heather: Hello, national TV! I'll get my hair wet.
Gwen: You're kidding, right?
Lindsay: If she's not doing it, I'm not doing it!

Heather: Back off, ghetto glamour too tight pants wearing rap star wannabe!
Leshawna: Mall shopping ponytail wearing Teen Girl reading peaking at high school prom queen!
Heather: Well, at least I'm popular.

(Some of the other campers gasp. Justin pulls out a mirror and admires himself.)


Ezekiel: My dad told me to look out for the girls here, eh, and help them in case they can't keep up.
Eva: (holding him up by his neck) Still think we need your help keeping up?
Ezekiel: Not really...
Geoff: Guys, let's give him a break. At least he doesn't think that guys are smarter than girls.
Ezekiel: But they are.

Owen: (while diving off cliff) Oh, CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

The Big Sleep[edit]

Gwen: Favorite song?
Trent: "She Would Be Loved." Favorite color?
Gwen: Midnight Blue.
Trent: Ooh, mysterious. I like that.
Trent: No, don't fall asleep now! Quick... favorite movie moment...
Gwen: You're gonna think it's cheesy.
Trent: I promise I won't.
Gwen: Okay, the kiss of the end of that road trip movie, you know, the one with the guy and the three girls.
Trent: I know the one! You like that movie? (Owen walks by without his clothes on and Gwen & Trent stare in shock)

Gwen: (yawns) I'd kill for a coffee right now.
Chris: (drinking a coffee) What is wrong with you people? C'mon, fall asleep already!
Gwen: (on her knees, desperately tugging at Chris's shirt) You've gotta hook me up, man! I'll even eat the grinds! Anything!

Eva: AARRGGHH!!! Where is my mp3 player! One of you must been stolen it, I NEED MY MUSIC! No one is going anywhere until I get my mp3 player back! GRRR!
Courtney: Okay, whoever took it better give it up now, before she destroys the whole camp!
Heather: Hey guys, Wow..! This place is a real mess.
Courtney: Someone stole Eve's mp3 player.
Heather: You don't mean this to you, I was wondering who it belonged to...I found it on the campfire pit, you must been dropped it.
Eva: Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Heather: Sure thing.

Dodgebrawl[edit]

Lindsay: (In regard to Heather's alliance rules) I don't know about that last rule.
Heather: That's cool. I can change it. I can also find someone else to take to the final three with me.

Chris: The first rule of dodgeball is-
Noah: Do not talk about dodgeball?

Heather: Bring it on, fishies, otherwise winning three in a row just won't be as satisfying!
Tyler: Oh, you're going down! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we're gonna eat it!

Courtney: Where were you?
Tyler: Nowhere!
Courtney: You were with that blonde Gopher girl, weren't you?
Tyler: No. Maybe. So?
Courtney: So, she could've been getting you to spill all of our weaknesses to her.

Heather: I'm glad someone is trying today. (glares at Noah)
Noah: Oh, sorry. (sarcastically) Woohoo, way to throw those murder balls. Go, team, go.

Noah: What can I say? Weak effort.
Gwen: Oh, shut it, Noah!
Heather: You know, for once, I agree with her.
Noah: Touchy. (The other Gophers glare at him) What? I have to say, the team spirit here is severely lacking lately.

Not Quite Famous[edit]

Lindsay: Are we going to see a musical? I love musicals, especially the ones with singing and dancing.

Lindsay: (Trying to delay Gwen from going into the cabin) Gwen! It's you! Hi! What are you doing here, outside the cabin, Gwen?
Gwen: Trying to get into the cabin.
Lindsay: Oh, you're trying to get into the cabin! That's very interesting! (Stops her) Wait, stay here! We could...get tans together! And you could totally use one!
Heather: (inside the cabin, finds Gwen's diary and stops at a page) Yes! She is so dead.
Gwen: Are you going to move, or do I have to throw you out of my way?
Lindsay: You can try, but I have martial arts training! (Gwen glares at her) Okay, you can go in. (To Heather) Look, Gwen's back!

Lindsay: Puke on your own boyfriend!
Heather: On your own what Lindsay?
Lindsay: I didn't say boyfriend!

Bridgette: Now what?! We have to send someone out there or we're going to lose this!
Courtney: Katie and Sadie are covered in barf!
Bridgette: Well, that only leaves Tyler, Duncan and Harold. We already know that Tyler sucks. What can Duncan do again?
Courtney: Carve a picture of his own skull into a tree! What are we going to do?!

Courtney: Just, go for it, Harold. What have you got to lose?

Heather: Just give me my marshmallow already.

The Sucky Outdoors[edit]

Owen: I am man! I bring fish!
Heather: Are you kidding me?
Trent: Oh man, you're awesome!
Izzy: Oh, I love fish! I love fish! (Bites into raw fish) I guess we should cook it first, huh?

Katie: If it wasn't for me, you would be riding the bus to the mall!
Sadie: If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be able to find your way to the mall!
Katie: Oh, I know my way to the mall!
Sadie: (As she speaks, two chipmunks imitate the girls) You lean on me. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be on this show!
Katie: You're just saying that because I'm prettier than you are.
Sadie: (Gasps) I knew you thought that!
Katie: It's true. Everybody thinks so.

Courtney: Great! That's just great, Bridgette! Now we have nowhere to sleep!
Duncan: Yo, Drama Queen, relax. It's cool.
Courtney: Cool? It's cool?! Things could not possibly get worse!! (a single raindrop falls on her head, then rain starts to downpour; Duncan looks satisfied) AHHHH!!!!

Courtney: Duncan! That was so not funny!
Duncan: Oh, yes it was! I just wish it was all on camera! Oh wait... it is!
Courtney: You are so vile! Do your parents even like you?
Duncan: I don't know, Jumpy McChicken. I haven't asked them lately.

(Courtney wakes up to find herself cuddled up to Duncan)
Duncan: Morning, sunshine.
Courtney: Oh my gosh, ew! You were cuddling me!

Courtney: (Confessional) Okay, I just want to say for the record that I was totally asleep and therefore unconscious at the time of the alleged cuddling with said Neanderthal. So essentially, it's like it never happened.

Geoff: Wow, you pitch a tent like a guy! (Says to Bridgette, crickets chrip after he says this.)

Phobia Factor[edit]

Trent: Can you make the cloud go lower and pelt him harder?
Chris: You are one sick dude! But yeah. (triggers the remote, causing the hail cloud to pelt Geoff harder)
Trent: Ah, that's awesome. Hey, do you ever feel like you've forgotten something?
Chris: Sometimes. I usually ignore it and the feeling goes away. Haha, watch this, I'm gonna bury him in hail!
Trent: Bury?! Ah, crap! Gwen!

Gwen: What's my worst fear? I guess being buried alive.
Lindsay: Walking through a minefield. In heels.
Owen: Flying, man! That's some crazy stuff.
Izzy: Oh, I would never go up in a plane. Never!
Geoff: I'm scared of hail. It's small but deadly, dude.
Bridgette: Being left alone in the woods.
Sadie: (sniffs) Bad haircuts.
Lindsay: Okay, I change mine! That's so much scarier than a minefield.
Cody: ...Having to defuse a time bomb under pressure.
Courtney: I'm not really afraid of anything.
Duncan: (coughs) Baloney.
Courtney: Oh, and what is exactly your phobia, Mr Know-It-All?
(Pause)
Duncan: Celine Dion music store standees.

Trent: All right, Courtney, you're afraid of something. Spit it out.
Courtney: No, nothing!
Duncan: That's not what she said last night.
Courtney: Duncan, did you ever consider the fact that maybe I was just humouring you?

Courtney: It's the smallest snake ever, DJ!
DJ: Yeah, but it's slimy and scaly...slithery...
Courtney: We need this point, DJ! Suck it up! (The other Bass shake their heads) What? We're heading back to Loserville, people.

Courtney: (Confessional after failing her challenge) I'm so embarrassed! How could I be so weak? I deserve to go home! Okay, stop it, you're pathetic! Show some confidence, Courtney! (Starts crying, then slaps herself)

Up The Creek[edit]

Chris: Move! Campers, move! Oh wait, one more thing I should mention. Legend has it, that if you take anything off of the island, (dramatic voice) you'll be cursed forever!
Owen: Yeah, a cursed island! Whoo!
Chris: Now, get in your canoes and let's have some fun!
Owen: Yes!
Beth: What'd I miss?!
Chris: (pointing ahead) Canoes.

Cody: So you wanna go out sometime?
Gwen: No.
Cody: How about Friday night?
Gwen: Uh, no.
Cody: Saturday's good for me. How about Saturday?
Gwen: I'm not going out with you, ever.
Cody: Okay, okay. Sheesh.

(Pause)

Cody: So is Sunday out of the question?

Trent: (referring to when Cody saved him and Lindsay from the quicksand) Thanks for saving my butt, man.
Cody: (digging through his pants and pulls out a soda) Just looking out for a fellow Gopher. (opens soda) Wanna sip? (offers soda to Trent, who's disgusted by the fact it came from his pants)
Trent: (pushes back soda) Nah, I'm good.
Cody: Trent, let's talk. Mano a mano.
Trent: Uh, ok. What do you wanna talk about?
Cody: Gwen. See, I hit on her but I struck out, a-a few times. The point is, she's not into me, she's into you.
Trent: (angry) If you're lying, I can easily rearrange your face! You know that, right?
Cody: Dude, buddy! What do I have to gain from lying to you?
Trent: Okay. So, what do you think I should do about it?
Cody: Well, I'll tell ya, Trent. Here's how I'd play it.
Heather: (to Trent and Cody) Ladies, are you almost finished with your tea party? We're in the middle of a challenge here!

Paintball Deer Hunter[edit]

Owen: (To DJ) You're mine now, deer! (Tries to shoot, but there are no paint balls left. DJ then becomes very angry.) The hunter knows that his prey would stay there for a moment, paralyzed in fear and respect. The deer cannot best the hunter! (DJ walks up to Owen, sneering angrily at him.) Hey dude, come on now, let's talk about this. (DJ, now FURIOUS, throws Owen over the nearby cliff, as he screams while falling.)

Heather: What took you so long?
Beth: Here. I hope you know what I had to go through to get those.
Heather: There's like...11 chips left! [Smell empty bag of chips] And they're barbecue! Go exchange them for dill pickle.
Beth: No.
Heather: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?
Cody: I'm just gonna...yeah.
Heather: Take it back.
Beth: No!
Heather: Take...it...back!
Beth: NO! I'm tired of being your slave! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a challenge to complete.
Heather: OUCH! whoever you are, this is so not cool!

(Duncan and Courtney have their fake antlers tangled in each others')
Courtney: Now what?
Duncan: You wanna make out?

Lindsay: WAIT! I have blueberries, see? oh. oh.
Heather: Follow me.

Heather: Hey, Beth!
Beth: Oh, I totally had her!
Heather: We've been talking about you.
Lindsay: We have?
Heather: Zip-it! Linds-iot. We decided to give you one last chance. If you take it back, You can rejoin the alliance.
Beth: Take back what?
Heather: The "N" word, No.
Beth: I don't want to take it back.
Heather: You are nothing without me!
Beth: Do you know, why we keeping losing challenges?
Heather: (Canadian version) Because they're lame and foolish. (Both US and UK dubs) Because they're lame and stupid.
Beth: No, because you're so busy being mean that you don't even try. Now all you can think of is bossing us around!
Heather: [gasps]
Beth: Oh, That's it!
Heather: Bring it, Dweeb!

Heather: I'm giving you one last chance.
Beth: WHY!? Because you know you can't win without your little alliance.
Heather: I can make you like miserable here!
Beth: You already do, miss. "Come put lotion on my nasty alligator skin." What do I have to lose!?
LeShawna: 2 hours of sneaking around in the woods, and I haven't shot a darn thing. What kind of messed up person actually does this for fun?
Heather: Fine, be all alone then, loser!
Beth: It's better then working for you!
Heather: Bring it, Dweeb!
Beth: Oh, That's it!
Heather: OW! Who was that!?
LeShawna: Oh, I knew I should have gone to the optometrist before I came out here. Sorry about that.
Heather: YOU!! Give me your gun, Give it! OW! Charlie Horse!
LeShawna: Girl, you crazy.
Beth: It just looked like a lot of fun when you did it.
[LeShawna and Beth laughs]
Heather: Stop Laughing!

Heather: Gimme that!
Beth: Oh, now it is so on!

If You Can't Take The Heat[edit]

Courtney: (Confessional) Duncan and me? Right, as if! I'm so sure. Not in a million years! Please! When pigs fly.
Leshawna: (From outside) Yo! You still busy protesting in there or can someone else have a turn?
Courtney: Like I was saying, not gonna happen.

Geoff: (To Bridgette) You know, you look good when you're cooking dinner. Kind of like my friend Evan's really hot mom.
Bridgette: Excuse me?
DJ: (saving him) Geoff...why don't you get us some more tomatoes, dude?
Geoff: Sure thing, bud. Later, Bridge.

Heather: These slices are totally uneven. Switch places to LeShawna.
LeShawna: What are you talkin' about? They look fine to me.
Heather: Um, I didn't get to be head chef because of poor presentation.
LeShawna: No, You got to be head chef because you called it! And who you think you're fooling with that crispy-white apron power trip you on!?
Heather: Are you gonna be Team player or not!?
LeShawna: Oh, I'm a team player alright, but I also allergic to pineapples!
Heather: Just get slicing, now! Thanks guys.
LeShawna: Oh, Two-faced, bossy little...Agh. Yo! What do you recommend I do about this?
Heather: Yo, I recommend you scratch after we win. Get back to work!

Courtney/Leshawna: Good morning, Harold!
Harold: EEEEH! (Harold, just now realizing he's naked and Courtney and Leshawna can both see it, covers his groin with his pillow)
Duncan: So, learned your lesson, yet?
Harold: Yes, okay?! Yes!!
Geoff: Oh, we're going to need more than that, man!
Harold: I'll never leave my crusty underwear out again! I swear!
Geoff: What the heck? I believe him.
Duncan: Pleasure doing business with ya! (throws bag full of Harold's underwear and shorts)

Who Can You Trust[edit]

Heather: I am gonna make you sorry that you ever met me.
Gwen: Too late.

Gwen: Excuse me, can we switch partners? I really don't feel like being dropped on my head today.
Heather: Please. As much as I love your company, I'm not going to throw a challenge just to kill you. Yet.

Gwen: What are you smiling about?
Heather: Nothing. I'm just really happy we got on this challenge together.

Trent: (Dying from poisonous blowfish prepared by Lindsay) I thought you said you passed Biology.
Lindsay: I said I took Biology.

Owen: (after Leshawna knocked the arrow off his head) Ow. (laughs)
Leshawna: (takes off her blindfold to check) Ooh, did I get a bull's-eye?
Sadie: (not realizing the challenge is over) I got her this time!
Chris: Leshawna won already!
Courtney: Hey moron, it's ov-(gets hit by apples after Sadie continues to try and shoot the arrow off; other forms of wildlife are getting pelted by Sadie's crab apples as well)
Chris: (shakes Sadie) Sadie!! It's over, man! Let it go!
Sadie: Oopsie... (takes off her blindfold) Sorry!
Courtney: (to Sadie) Ugh... You're going down... (groans and faints)

Basic Straining[edit]

Chef Hatchet: 25 of us went in the jungle that night. Only 5 came back out.
Gwen: [yawns] What war were you in, anyway?
Chef Hatchet: [louder] Did I ask you to speak?! Because I don't remember asking you to speak.
Gwen: Whatever, he so wasn't in a war.
Lindsay: Guys, I can't do this anymore. I have no more feeling in my arms.
Chef Hatchet: Looks like we got ourselves a quitter.
Owen: Don't do it, Lindsay!
[Bell dings]
Chef Hatchet: Listen here, you have nothing to be ashamed of, [louder] except being the little baby that let your team down! As for the rest of you, head to the mess hall! Dinner is served!
Owen: Sweet Marie, thank you!

Chef Hatchet: You just bought yourself 20 more Push-ups!
Duncan: Thank you. [Duncan kiss on Chef's nose]
Chef Hatchet: ARRRGGHHH!!
Geoff: I think you may have pushed him over the edge, bro.
Duncan: I think you're right.
Chef Hatchet: One night solitary confinement in the boathouse.

Duncan: (To Courtney) Okay, look. I know you like me, he knows you like me, everyone knows it! So here's a tip: If you wanna kiss me, I might let you.

Courtney: [laughs]
Chef Hatchet: Stop laughing this instant!
Courtney: I'm sorry. [laughs], I can't help it. WHOA! [laughs].
Chef Hatchet: I expected more out of you, soldier.
Courtney: [clear throat] Master Chief, I just have one thing to say to you.
Chef Hatchet: And what might that be?
Courtney: You really need to take a chill pill. [laughs]
Duncan: [laughs] Yeah. Now, that's what I'm talking about.
Courtney: OK, Geoffy, It's all up to you.
Owen: You got this, Gwen?
Gwen: Yeah, I can hang here all day.
Geoff: Rock on, sister! I live for the head rush. It feels...so...good. [thud]
Courtney: Ooh! That's going to leave a mark.

Courtney: (being dragged to Boat of Losers) I do not concede! I do not concede!
Duncan: Awww man, this sucks!
Courtney: (to the remaining Killer Bass) I was your only hope! I was a Counselor in Training! (to Chef Hatchet and Chris, who are dragging her) Let GO of me! (they "let go" of her by throwing her into the Boat of Losers) You are going to hear from my attorney!
Duncan: (after Courtney sets sail) Courtney, wait! I made this for you! (throws her a small object)
Courtney: Duncan! (sees that it's a wooden skull) Okay, this is really weird and creepy, but I love it! (she waves goodbye to Duncan) I'll never forget you!

X-Treme Torture[edit]

Bridgette: You know what's really romantic?
Geoff: Uh, writing someone's name in the snow with your pee?
Bridgette: Actually, I was thinking more of the written word.
Geoff: Oh, you mean like a tattoo? I've got one on my butt. Wanna see?

Harold: I loved, I lost, and I saw boobies. What more could a man ask for?
Gwen: You loved?
Leshawna: You're a man?
Bridgette: You saw boobies?

Leshawna: (Canadian version) Heck no! Wait a minute. Whose chest did you see!? (Both US and UK dubs) Heck no! Wait a minute. Whose boobies did you see!?
Heather: [sighs]
Leshawna: Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Oh-oh! Oh, see now, you messed with the wrong sister!
Heather: Oh, please! It was a total fluke. You think I'd actually show that Dweeb my boobs on purpose!? Aah..! AAHH..!!
Leshawna: GET BACK HERE!!!
Heather: AAAHHHH!!!!
Gwen: Well, that settled. Night.
Bridgette: Night.

Brunch of Disgustingness[edit]

Bridgette: (Confessional) I was a bit worried about being the only new girl on the team. Then I figured it can't be that bad. I don't buy that hype about how well guys get along and how catty girls can be.

Lindsay: (To Bridgette) Welcome to the club! It'll be so much fun, as long as you do everything Heather says. (Heather stomps on her foot)

Bridgette: (Confessional) I couldn't believe how quickly the guys made up! Even I like to hold a grudge for a good six minutes.

Chris: You guys like pizza?
Owen: I could eat pizza anytime, with anything on it.
Chris: Anything? How about live grasshopper pizza with tangy jellyfish sauce and live anchovies?
Lindsay: Ewww, I hate anchovies!

Trent: DJ, I want you to hold me down, while Geoff, you stuff the slice in my mouth. And no matter how much I scream or beg, you've got to feed me that slice. (Boys proceed to do so) No, stop! Wait, it was a joke! I was kidding! (laughs uncomfortably) I'm warning you, my dad's a lawyer!

Bridgette: (having seen the original last food of the challenge, which is hot dogs made out of dolphin) But dolphins are our friends!
Heather: What are you waiting for? It's already dead! Eat it or we don't win!

No Pain No Game[edit]

Izzy: (After being electrocuted) That was great! Hit me again!

Leshawna: (after beating Molotov) Ha! That's how I roll!
Chris: Leshawna wins, so Eva is out.
Eva: WHAT? No way!
Chris: Waaaaaaay. She wins the challenge, invincibility and the grand prize.

Duncan: (Voting) I vote for Heather, because I know she's behind Courtney getting kicked off. You'll pay for that, toots. (To Courtney) If you're watching this on cable, I miss you, babe.

Lindsay: (Voting and rubbing her waxed face) I just can't get over how smooth this is! Oh, and I vote off Ava, because she's scarier than Heather, Laquisha and Gwen combined.

Search And Do Not Destroy[edit]

Leshawna: Looks like Trent is going down.
Owen: (in an emotionless tone due to the tranquilizer's effects) Trent.
Duncan: You messed up, dude.
Bridgette: You leave us no choice.
Trent: I really feel I made such awesome friends here. It's so hard for me to vote anyone off.

Chris: Duncan's tough exterior seems to help him with the challenge he received.
Chris: DJ seems a little out of his league.
Chris: Back in the communal washrooms things are starting to pile up.

Trent: Why should you care? You think I'm a cliche.
Gwen: Where'd you get that from?
Trent: (Points to Heather) Her.

Hide And Be Sneaky[edit]

Lindsay: (Confessional) Heather is my best friend on the island. I mean, sure, she borrows my clothes and steals my food and calls me names, but that's what BFFs are for! Best Female Friends!

Chris: Lindsay, couldn't you do any better than hiding under your covers?
Lindsay: Fooled you! This isn't even my bunk.

Chris: Knock-knock.
Lindsay: Who's there?
Chris: The entire viewing world.
Lindsay: The entire viewing world who?
Chris: You're gonna have to do a lot better than that if you want to avoid capture.

Gwen: I wonder where Duncan is hiding.
Owen: How should I know? I mean, it's not like the guys are forming a guys' alliance or anything. (Pause) OK, they are forming one, but I'm not a part of it. (Pause) OK, you broke me! There is an alliance and I joined it and I'm not supposed to tell you but I did!
Gwen: Wow, I really had to drag that out of you!

Lindsay: (Confessional) I'm starting to think that maybe Heather isn't such a nice person after all.

That's Off The Chain![edit]

Lindsay: (To Heather) Look, it's an ugly doll with pretty hair. Just like you!

Lindsay: (Confessional) I think I say the wrong thing sometimes. Like one time, I told my teacher his hair piece looked like my dog's butt and he totally took it the wrong way! My dog has the cutest curliest little butt.

Lindsay: I can't believe you just said that! But we pinkie-swore. You mean I've been helping you all this time and you didn't even like me?
Heather: Uh, truth? Not really, no. What? We're not here to make friends! We're here to become celebrities!

Lindsay: (Canadian version) (To Heather) You really ARE mean! And all that bad stuff people say about you is true! Like how you're a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little backstabbing, lying little no good, selfish, horrendous, pushy, bossy, mean, bully of a girl! I always told them they were wrong. I stood up for you because I thought we were BFFs! But they're right! You really are a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little backstabbing, lying little no good, selfish, horrendous, pushy, bossy, mean, bully of a girl!! And guess what? I don't wanna be BFFs anymore. I'd rather spend the days staring at Owen's butt then shopping with you. And PS, your shoes are tacky! (Both US and UK dubs)(To Heather) You really ARE mean! And all that bad stuff people say about you is true! Like how you're a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little [bleep]! I always told them they were wrong. I stood up for you because I thought we were BFFs! But they're right! You really are a two-faced, [bleep]! And guess what? I don't wanna be BFFs anymore. I'd rather spend the days staring at Owen's butt then shopping with you. And PS, your shoes are tacky!

Lindsay: (Confessional) I don't know what came over me. Oh wait, yes I do! Heather's a total [bleep]!

Lindsay: Good luck, Heather. I hope you get everything your karma owes you.

Hook, Line and Screamer[edit]

Owen: Great Canadian cheese! Now the car won't start.
Gwen: Here comes the bloodfest! Yeah, right on.
Izzy: He's going into the woods! He's getting away! Yeah, good ending! Izzy loves scary movies!
Owen: So does Owen.

DJ: I feel like we're being watched.
Heather: Duh! it's a reality show. We're always being watched.
Chris: Heather's right... and tonight, we're watching to see who can survive a real life scary movie with a special guest appearance by... (dramatically) THE ESCAPED PSYCHO KILLER WITH A CHAINSAW AND A HOOK!

Gwen: Okay, rule one: Don't go off on your own. Rule two: if you do go off in your own, never go into the woods. Rule three: If you do go into the woods, never ever make out in the woods, or you will die in the woods! (Pause) Where's Izzy and Owen?
Duncan: Breaking rules one through three.

(DJ sees Heather in a face mask shaving her legs and starts screaming, thinking it's the killer)
Heather: DJ, it's me! (DJ continues screaming) Heather!
(DJ stops for a second, then continues to scream and runs away)

Gwen: You know what really ticks me off? I was trying to help them.
Duncan: Live and learn, sweetheart. (lights his lighter)
Gwen: You really are a pyro, aren't you?
Duncan: So what? I like burning stuff.
Gwen: Is that what you went to juvie for?
Duncan: Like I'd tell you why I went to juvie.

Wawanakwa Goes Wild![edit]

Owen: (On winning) Everyone here totally deserves it more than I do. Except Heather. She's really mean. I'm not afraid of her, though.
Heather: (Outside!) Owen, are you almost finished in there?
Owen: (Looking scared) Just about done!

(Chris is talking about trapping an animal)

Duncan: (Grabs Owen's arm) Got one!
Chris: A wild animal.

Heather: The thing that's supposed to happen is that I agree to be in an alliance with you and you help me catch the bear. What doesn't happen is I wear a reindeer costume.
Duncan: How fast can you run?
Heather: Also, you don't ask me a gazillion stupid questions.
Duncan: You put this on, the bear thinks you're a deer. You run away and lead it towards the campground.
Heather: How fast can you run?
Duncan: I'll bet you're faster. But what I will do is follow. Just guide it into the cage!

Trial By Tri-Armed Triathlon[edit]

Owen: This is like a dream I had once!
Heather: (Sarcastically) The doughnut-copter dream?
Owen: You've had it too?

Owen: (In confessional, after attempting to uncuff himself from Heather and consequently lose) It was worth a try. Heather scares me.

Owen: Ever since I was a kid, I always felt like no one listens to what I have to say. I'm a person that feels things deeply.
Heather: Owen, no offense, but I really don't care.

Gwen: Why will you not take this seriously?!

(Owen screams after seeing the wood carvings)

Heather: Relax, it's just Eva. Ew, two Evas! That is upsetting.

Owen: (Confessional) Mom always says if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, in which case Heather would say nothing ever! She's the meanest, the nastiest, the biggest *bleep* in all of Kalamazoo! No offense. (Zoom out to see Heather is in the confessional, still cuffed to Owen)
Heather: None taken. I sort of respect you for it. Never do it again.

Haute-Camp-ture[edit]

Izzy: Look! Somebody's bikini bottom.
Katie: I think that's yours, Izzy.
Izzy: Oh, crap! It is. (She dives in to grab it, completely exposing her posterior to the audience for a second before coming back up.)

Noah: Did I get anything out of this experience? No. It was completely and totally uneventful.
Izzy: He kissed a guy!
Noah: No, I didn't!
Izzy: Yes, you did.
Noah: Didn't!
Izzy: Diiid!
Noah: Did not!
Izzy: (singing) Did, did, did, did, did did did did did, did did did did did did did!
Trent: Ahem. I can break this tie. He totally did.

Courtney: You all know what happened!
Ezekiel: Give her a break, eh. I got kicked off in the first- (Courtney hits him with a lamp post)
Lindsay: You just would've been kicked off in another episode. No one liked you that much.
Courtney: (Gasps) That is so not true! Everyone likes me! I used to be a CIT! (Coconut falls on her head) A coconut? WE'RE IN MUSKOKA, PEOPLE! If you're going to drop props on my head, at least make sure they're geographically correct! (Snow and an Eskimo falls on her head and slides off)
Lindsay: (To Eskimo) Are you Tyler?

(On Gwen)

Trent: I just hope she's not still ticked at me about the Heather thing.
Izzy: I would be. If she were me and you were still you, you'd be seriously maimed.
Trent: Uh...that's a little harsh.
Izzy: You kissed her mortal enemy!
Trent: It wasn't my fault. I was tricked!
Izzy: Yeah, right, that's what they all say. "My lips did what they wanted, my lips have a mind of their own, blah, blah, blah, fishcakes, blah, blah, I'm a liar, blah, blah, blah..."
Trent: (edging away) Okay...

Lindsay: Omigosh, omigosh! I got a letter from my sister who says there's a picture of me in Star Stalker magazine! (Squeals)

(Katie and Sadie squeal)

Noah: Eeee. Congratulations, you just peaked. It's all downhill from here, honey.

Izzy: Just throwing a few shrimps on the barbie. Hey Noah, that means you! Just kidding, okay. Well, I think Heather is a total psycho.

Courtney: Who would I like to win? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'd have to pick...Duncan. Don't tell the others, though, okay?
Izzy: Oh, we already know. You were all over him.
Noah: My golden lab drools less over a rib eye steak.
Lindsay: And...we eavesdropped again.

Sadie: If none of us even like her, how did Heather get into the finals?
Eva: Because she's a conniving backstabbing little witch, that's why!

(On Leshawna)

Courtney: I can't say anything bad about her. And I excel at saying bad things about people.
Sadie: I think she is so fetch!
Katie: She has the best style. We've been friends since the beginning.
Noah: You weren't even on the same team.
Katie: Irregardless.
Noah: She locked Heather in the fridge. Anyone who can come up with something like that gets my vote.

Camp Castaways[edit]

Heather: (Confessional) If you're watching, Lindsay, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings! You are an awesome friend, and Beth, ditto for you! Miss you guys. BFFS forever!

Gwen: So that's what you got sent to juvie hall for.
Duncan: Yeah, but it's not nearly as bad as what Heather did.
Heather: I'll admit it was a little unorthodox, but it doesn't come close to what Gwen did. (to Gwen) If that even is your real name.

Are We There, Yeti?[edit]

Heather: (Confessional) I just want to thank everyone who got me to the final three! Courtney, I feel your pain, girl. You should not have been cheated off like that. Noah, you are one seriously smart guy. Don't think I didn't notice. And Lindsay, the most fashionable girl on the island, next to me, you know you'll always be one of my BFFs.

I Triple Dog Dare You[edit]

Heather: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? He shaved my head!
Chris: True, but you didn't actually accept the dare.

The Very Last Episode, Really![edit]

Gwen: (Confessional) The people here sucked. They were nothing but a bunch of backstabbing, manipulative, two-timing, fame-hungry, dimwitted, certifiably insane, really weird, psychotic, redneck, overbearing, goody-goody, know-it-all, party-obsessed jerks. (Sighs) I was lucky enough to meet five people who are actually sane.

Gwen: You don't have to follow me the whole time, you know!
Trent: I don't have anything better to do.
Gwen: Why don't you go cheer for Owen? I know you want to go to his party.
Trent: Yeah, and I'm thinking of bringing you.

Heather: Now listen closely, Owen. I really want you to have this party more than anything in the world. Now I'm helping you as much as I can, but you've gotta lock it up! Got it?
Owen: Okay, sure, Heather.

Owen: You can do it, Gwen! Just don't fall into the shark-infested waters!
Gwen: Really not helping, Owen!

(Duncan and Courtney kiss)
Courtney: You're still not my type.
Duncan: You make me sick. (They kiss again)

Gwen: You're gonna kill yourself, you know.
Trent: I'm not giving up on you!

Gwen: Put me down!
Trent: Say you'll go out with me. Come on, say it!
Gwen: Okay, okay, I'll go out with you!

(Canadian version)
Owen: What can I say, Chris? I'm so psyched! This is just -
Everyone: Awesome?
Owen: Yes!

Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island[edit]

Justin: One for my face, one for my body, and one for my knees.
Sadie: You do have great knees.

Heather: That was a million dollars, you stupid beavers! (nearby beavers, insulted by her remark, hit her with their tails)

Courtney: Nobody is stealing the money that I stole!

Katie: (Playing Magic Squares) Who will Katie hook up with tonight? Justin!
Sadie: Justin? But he has a crush on me!
Katie: Says who?
Sadie: Says Magic Squares. (Uses the cootie catcher) Who is Justin crushing on? Sadie!
Katie: You fully stole him from me!
Sadie: Earth to Katie! I can't steal someone who isn't yours!

Justin: Give me the case.
Izzy: Back off, really hot guy!
Justin: I didn't want to do this, but you give me no choice... (Takes off his shirt)
Noah: Izzy, don't fall for it! Look away!
Izzy: I can't! He's too beautiful! (Gives Justin the case)
Eva: He's so pretty...he deserves this....

Izzy: Where's the case?
Noah: You just handed it to a male model. (To Eva) And a lot of good you were!
Eva: I'm so ashamed.
Noah: You should be, Iron Woman. That was seriously pathetic.
Eva: (Confessional) What am I gonna do? I'll never be able to show my face at the gym again!

Katie: (To Sadie) So, are you still not talking to me? (Pause) Good, because I'm totally not talking to you! (Pause) So, like, don't even try, cause, you know, I won't hear you either! (Pause) I'm not listening!

Tyler: Give us the case, or we'll mess you up!
Justin: No.
(Awkward pause)
Tyler: What do we do now?

Cody: Courtney, save us! Pull us up!
Courtney: Give me the case, and I will!
Tyler: No way!
Courtney: Okay, then! (Goes higher)
DJ: You wouldn't let us fall to our deaths!
Courtney: Oh, yes, I would! I don't even like you very much!

External links[edit]

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