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Fourth Doctor

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Doctor Who — Incarnations of The Doctor : 1st - 2nd - 3rd - 4th - 5th - 6th - 7th - 8th - War - 9th - 10th - 11th - 12th - 13th - 14th - 15th

This page is a collection of quotations from the era of the fourth official incarnation of The Doctor from the BBC science fiction television programme Doctor Who, during which the role of the Fourth Doctor was played by Tom Baker.

It's the end... but the moment has been prepared for...
Excuse me, can you help me? I'm a spy.

Recurring phrases

[edit]
Would you like a jelly baby?
  • Would you like a jelly baby? (Sometimes slightly changed to "Have a jelly baby." and other variations)
  • Hello-o-o-o
  • Come on!
  • You're standing on my scarf.
  • Are you listening to me?
  • Take me to your leader.
  • You took your time, K-9! (after thanking someone else for coming)
  • Quite right!
  • The Fourth Doctor: Shut up, K-9!
    • K-9's catch phrase: Affirmative, Master.

Season 12

[edit]

Robot [12.1]

[edit]
(28 December 1974 - 18 January 1975)
Brigadier: [on phone] Get me the medical officer.
The Doctor: (semi-conscious) Typical Sontaran attitude...
Brigadier: [on phone] Lieutenant Sullivan?
The Doctor: (semi-conscious) Stop Linx...
Brigadier: [on phone] Emergency. Come to the lab at once, please.
The Doctor: (semi-conscious) Perverting the course of human history...
Brigadier: What's he talking about?
Sarah Jane: It's something that happened when we first met.
The Doctor: (sits up) I tell you, Brigadier, there's nothing to worry about! The brontosaurus is large and placid! (falls back)
(A naval officer enters)
Harry Sullivan: This the patient, sir?
The Doctor: And stupid! (sits back up) If the square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the square on the other two sides, why is a mouse when it spins? Never did know the answer to that one. (falls back again)
Harry Sullivan: You're not fit yet!
The Doctor: "Not fit"? I'm the Doctor!
Harry Sullivan: No, Doctor, I'm the doctor, and I say you're not fit!
The Doctor: You may be a doctor. But I'm the Doctor. The definite article, you might say.
The Doctor: Heartsbeat?
Harry Sullivan: I say, I don't think that can be right.
The Doctor: Both a bit fast, are they? Still, must be patient! A new body is like a new house; takes a little bit of time to settle in! [He catches his face in a mirror.] As for the physiognomy... Well, nothing's perfect. Have to take the rough with the smooth... Mind you, I think the nose is a definite improvement! As for the ears, well, I'm not too sure. Tell me, quite frankly, what do you say to the ears?
Harry Sullivan: Well, I really don't know--
The Doctor: Well, of course you don't! You're a busy man! You don't want to stand here burbling about my ears, neither "ear" nor there!
[The Doctor has left Harry strung up in the closet and is gone from the room.]
Brigadier: Well, where is he?
[The TARDIS begins dematerializing.]
Brigadier: Ah, too late.
The Doctor: Hello! Come to see me off, have you? Well, I hate goodbyes; I'll just slip away quietly!
Sarah Jane: No, no, Doctor, you can't go!
The Doctor: Can't? Can't? There's no such word as "can't"! (Slams door)
Sarah Jane: Wha...
The Doctor: (Comes back out again) Why not?
Brigadier: [Entering room] Doctor, there's been another...Where is he?
Harry Sullivan: [Gestures to the TARDIS] In there.
Brigadier: He promised...
The Doctor: [Interrupting] Ah, Brigadier.
Brigadier: All right Doctor, we must get moving. [turns to face the Doctor]
The Doctor: [Dressed as a Viking] Is something wrong?
Brigadier: You've changed.
The Doctor: Oh no, not again! No!
Brigadier: I, I didn't mean your face. I meant your clothes.
The Doctor: Don't you like them?
Brigadier: UNIT is supposed to be a security organization.
The Doctor: Do you think I might attract attention?
Brigadier: It's just possible.
The Doctor: One moment. [heads back into the TARDIS to change]
The Doctor: Tell me on the way Brigadier! Tell me on the way! You must cultivate a sense of urgency.
The Doctor: I think your enemies are homegrown, Brigadier -- people with access to technological information, and a most unusual weapon. A weapon that walks and thinks. In a word: Anthropomorphic.
Brigadier: Well, I suppose that narrows the field a bit.
The Doctor: There can't be that many people in the country with the money and resources to design and build something like...
Sarah Jane: [Walking through the door mid sentence] ...a giant Robot about 7 feet tall.
The Doctor: Yes something like that... however did you guess?
Sarah Jane: Doctor you're being childish!
The Doctor: Well, of course I am! There's no point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes.
Brigadier: You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
Sarah Jane: [reading a note the Doctor has left] "Sarah, Professor Kettelwel tells me he has the robot hidden at his house. Gone to meet him. P.S. It is, of course, possible that this message is a trap. If it is, I can deal with it. P.P.S. I'm leaving this note in case I can't."
The Doctor: Prime Directive! What is your Prime Directive?
The Robot: I must serve humanity and never harm it!
The Doctor: Well, then you mustn't harm me! I'm a friend of humanity!
Brigadier: Believe me, Doctor, the place is impregnable!
The Doctor: Never cared much for the word 'impregnable.' Sounds a bit too much like 'unsinkable.'
Harry Sullivan: What's wrong with unsinkable?
The Doctor: 'Nothing,' as the iceberg said to the Titanic!
Harry Sullivan: What?
The Doctor: [as he sinks back into the car] Glub glub glub....
The Doctor: [measuring a sizable hole with his scarf] It seems you have a very large rat brigadier — maybe you should employ the services of a very large cat?
The Doctor: In science - as in morality - the end never justifies the means.
The Doctor: The trouble with computers, of course, is that they're very sophisticated idiots. They do exactly what you tell them at amazing speed. Even if you order them to kill you. So if you do happen to change your mind, it's very difficult to stop them from obeying the original order. [stops computer from destroying Earth] But not impossible.

The Ark in Space [12.2]

[edit]
(25 January - 15 February 1975)
The Doctor: You're a clumsy, ham fisted idiot!
Harry Sullivan: I said I was sorry!
The Doctor: What?! Come out. And don't touch anything!
Harry Sullivan: I was only trying to open the door!
The Doctor: You haven't touched anything, have you Harry?
Harry Sullivan: Me?!
The Doctor: Well, there are only two of us here, and your name is Harry!
The Doctor: Aren't you feeling better?
Harry Sullivan: [Holding his head] No I'm not!
The Doctor: Well pull yourself together, man, this is fascinating!
Vira: You claim to be Med-Techs?
The Doctor: Well, my Doctorate is purely honorary and Harry is only qualified to work on sailors.
Harry: Steady-- Steady on, Old Girl! Steady on...
Sarah Jane: Harry...
Harry: Yes, I'm here, I'm here.
Sarah Jane: Call me 'Old Girl' again... And I'll spit in your eye.
The Doctor: Welcome back, Sarah Jane!
The Doctor: Homo sapiens. What an inventive, invincible species. It's only a few million years since they crawled up out of the mud and learned to walk. Puny, defenceless bipeds. They've survived flood, famine and plague. They've survived cosmic wars and holocausts. And now, here they are, out among the stars, waiting to begin a new life. Ready to outsit eternity. They're indomitable. Indomitable.
The Doctor: I might've been saying something important. (horrified expression) I was saying something important!
Vira: The Ark was designed to have a negative fault capacity.
Harry: Gremlins can get into everything, old girl. First law of the sea.
[The Doctor corrects the fault]
Harry: There you are, what'd I tell you? The Doctor's a first class boffin!
The Doctor: (Muttering to himself)
Vira: What?
Sarah Jane: He sometimes talks to himself, mostly because he's the only person who knows what he's talking about.
Rogin: There’s been a snitch up. Didn’t I tell you, Lycett, I said five-thousand years ago, I said there’d be a snitch up.
Lycett: [cuts in] Ten thousand.
Rogin: Ohhh, beautiful! I said we should have taken our chance with the solar flares and gone into the thermic shelters. We’d have been happily dead by now.
Vira: Doctor, the fate of all humanity might be decided within the next few hours.
The Doctor: Vira, if you fail, your people will die in pain and fear. If I fail, they'll die anyway. But at least only the six of us will know anything about it.
Rogin: We should have stayed on the earth, Lycett. I liked the earth. I like heat!
The Doctor: It may be irrational of me, but human beings are quite my favourite species.
[Harry is feeding cord to Sarah, who is climbing through tight tunnel; she stops]
Harry Sullivan: How are you doing, old girl?
Sarah Jane: [hisses back] How do you think I’m doing, twit?
Harry Sullivan: [affronted] Sorry, I thought you were stuck.
Sarah Jane: [panicking] Oh, Doctor, I can't move!
The Doctor: Of course you can. You've got this far.
Sarah Jane: No, I'm stuck!
The Doctor: Don't panic, Sarah. Don't panic. Ease round and try again.
Sarah Jane: I'm jammed. I can't move forward or back. [halfs sobs]
The Doctor: Oh stop whining girl, you're useless!
Sarah Jane: Oh, Doctor...
The Doctor: [trying to make Sarah angry] "Oh, Doctor!" Is that all you can say for yourself? Stupid, foolish girl. We should never have relied on you, I knew you’d let us down. That's the trouble with girls like you. You think you're tough, but when you're really up against it, you’ve no guts at all. Hundreds of lives at stake, and you lie there blubbing.
Sarah Jane: [outraged] You…! Wait…! Till I… get… out!
[Sarah's hands emerge from the conduit; the Doctor reaches to help her out, but she bats his hands away]
Sarah Jane: I can manage! I don't need your help, thank you!
The Doctor: Yes you do, yes you do.
[The Doctor pulls her out of the conduit]
Sarah Jane: Ow!
The Doctor: Splendid.
Sarah Jane: [yanks back] Go away!
The Doctor: You've done marvelously, Sarah. I'm very proud of you. I really am very proud of you.
Sarah Jane: [shocked] What? ...Conned again, you're a brute!
The Doctor: Me, a brute?
Sarah Jane: Yes.
The Doctor: Don't be ungrateful. I was only encouraging you. Come on.
[Harry and Sarah Jane join the Doctor in his journey to Earth.]
The Doctor: I don't remember inviting you two.
Sarah Jane: No, you didn't. But here we are.

The Sontaran Experiment [12.3]

[edit]
(22 February - 1 March 1975)
Vurul: You say you came here by TransMat beam?
The Doctor: That's right.
Vurul: There's no TransMat system on this planet. The Earth's been junked!
The Doctor: Temporarily abandoned perhaps; but not junked,
Vurul: Clock expert?!
The Doctor: Well Horologist, actually. And chronomotrist. I just love clocks.
The Doctor: I've lost my sonic screwdriver, I feel absolutely lost without it.
[The Doctor is trying to climb out pit; hears noises]
The Doctor: Hello? Sarah?
[The three soldiers walk into view]
The Doctor: Oh. It’s you again. Can’t say I’m delighted. It’s no use pretending.
Sontaran (Styre): When I ambushed the GalSec ship there were nine survivors. I have already used up five of them and I have been studying the free behavour patterns of the remaining four.
Harry: Doctor! I thought you were dead.
The Doctor: Not me [He holds up a piece of metal.] Piece of the synestic locking mechanism from Nerva's rocket — popped it in my pocket.
Harry: Fortuitous.
The Doctor: Foresight. You never know when these bits and pieces will come in handy. Never throw anything away, Harry. [He throws it away.] Now, where's my five hundred year diary. I remember jotting some notes on the Sontarans... It's a mistake to clutter one's pockets, Harry.
The Doctor: [talking to the two men and holding hands with Harry and Sarah Jane] I should stand back if I were you. [Disappearing] I mean it should be all right. [Reappearing] But you never know quite, do you? [Disappears again]

Genesis of the Daleks [12.4]

[edit]
(8 March - 12 April 1975)
Time Lord: Ah, welcome, Doctor.
The Doctor: What's going on? Don't you realize how dangerous it is to intercept a transmat beam?
Time Lord: Oh come, Doctor, not with our techniques. We Time Lords transcended such simple mechanical devices when the universe was less than half its present size.
The Doctor: Look, whatever I've done for you in the past, I've more than made up for. I will not tolerate this continual interference in my life.
Time Lord: Continual? We pride ourselves we seldom interfere in the affairs of others.
The Doctor: Except mine.
Time Lord: You, Doctor, are a special case. You enjoy the freedom we allow you. In return, occasionally, not continually, we ask you to do something for us.
The Doctor: I won't do it. Whatever it is, I refuse.
Time Lord: Daleks.
The Doctor: [interested] Daleks? Tell me more.
Time Lord: We foresee a time when they will have destroyed all other life forms and become the dominant creature in the universe.
The Doctor: That's possible. Tell on.
Time Lord: We'd like you to return to Skaro at a point in time before the Daleks evolved.
The Doctor: Do you mean avert their creation?
Time Lord: Or affect their genetic development so that they evolve into less aggressive creatures.
The Doctor: Hmmm... That's feasible.
General Ravon: Ammunition is valuable and cannot be wasted!
Kaled: Yes, sir!
General Ravon: For instance, when I've finished with these two animals, they'll be hanged -- not taken out and shot as in the past.
General Ravon: Take a good look. In a few weeks, we're gonna change the shape of that map forever. We'll wipe the Thals from the face of Skaro!
The Doctor: Yes, I've heard that before...
General Ravon: What?
The Doctor: I was just wondering how you propose to wipe the Thals from the face of Skaro with boy soldiers, no ammunition, and very young generals.
The Doctor: Now, Alexander the Great... you're going to lead us out of here.
General Ravon: Never!
The Doctor: You won't get any medals for being stupid, general. In fact, you won't be getting any more medals for anything.
Nyder: I've heard Davros say there is no intelligent life on other planets. So either he is wrong, or you are lying.
The Doctor: We are not lying--
Nyder: And Davros is never wrong about anything.
The Doctor: Well, he must be exceptional; even I am occasionally wrong about some things!
The Doctor: Well good now he's gone, any chance of a cup of tea?
Kaled Guard Tane: What?!
The Doctor: Or coffee. My friend and I have had a trying experience — haven't we had a trying experience, Harry?
Sullivan: Very trying, Doctor!
Kaled Guard Tane: Step into the security scan!
The Doctor: What, no tea?
Kaled Guard Tane: Let me point out to you that you have no rights whatsoever. I have full authority to torture and kill any prisoner who does not comply absolutely with my orders. That is your first and last warning.
The Doctor: No tea, Harry.
Sevrin: [about an unconscious Sarah] ... She is beautiful. No deformities, no imperfections.
Companion: She is a Norm. All Norms are our enemies. Kill her now for what she's done to our kind.
Sevrin: No... Why? Why must we always destroy beauty? Why kill another creature because it is not in our image?
Companion: Kill her! It is the law. All Norms must die, they are our enemies! ... And if you won't, I will.
The Doctor: You're not with the military, I assume?
Ronson: I'm with the Science Division.
The Doctor: Oh, good! Good... Then perhaps we can talk without interruption from rifle butts.
Ronson: If I didn't know any better, I should have to assume that these [objects] were made by some intelligence on another planet.
The Doctor: If you "didn't know better"...
Ronson: It is an established scientific fact that, in the seven galaxies, only Skaro is capable of supporting intelligent life.
The Doctor: It is also an established scientific fact that there are more than seven galaxies.
Ronson: Nothing conforms to any known life on this planet apart from external appearances.
The Doctor: You can't always judge from external appearances.
Ronson: Who are you? Where are you from?
The Doctor: It's a long story...
Ronson: Then tell me.
The Doctor: Do you have any inkling of the theory of space dimension correlated to relative time?
The Doctor: They took down reams of note. Every bit of scientific gobbledygook I could think of. Technical jargon that even I didn't understand.
Sullivan: It'll keep their experts tied up for weeks!
The Doctor: Yes. And I learned a great deal more from them than they did from me.
The Doctor: [approaching two guards] Excuse me, can you help me? I'm a spy. [bangs their heads together, knocking them out]
Davros: Today, the Kaled race is ended — consumed in a fire of war. But from its ashes will rise a new race. The supreme creature! The ultimate conqueror of the universe! The Dalek!
Councilor: Let us now show that, whilst we were ruthless in war, we are generous in victory!
Bettan: It was [Davros] who told us how to destroy the Kaled dome. His only interest is in achieving peace!
The Doctor: Let me tell you something -- the Kaled government was on the point of stopping Davros's experiments. Rather than let that happen, he helped you to destroy his own race.
Bettan: You'll never convince my people of that. Davros is a hero!
The Doctor: Yes. For how long, I wonder...?
[The Doctor and Bettan have escaped the Thal base, which has been attacked by the Daleks, and are hiding behind the sandbags]
Bettan: Oh, there was no need to go that far. When our leaders saw they were beaten they should have surrendered.
The Doctor: Perhaps they did. But Daleks accept no terms. They're programmed to wipe the Thals from the face of this planet.
Bettan: But there must be some who'll escape, some survivors?
The Doctor: A few, perhaps, but they need to be grouped into some kind of fighting force to strike the bunker.
Bettan: What?
The Doctor: Well, destroy Davros and you destroy the Daleks.
Bettan: What chance do we have against them?
The Doctor: It's your only chance. Will you do it?
Bettan: Yes.
The Doctor: Good girl. I'm going to try and get back into the bunker now.
Bettan: Alone?
The Doctor: Good luck. [leaves Bettan, who hides as a Dalek passes over the top of the trench, silhouetted against the red sky]
Davros: Then my Daleks do go on? They do survive?
The Doctor: Yes. As weapons of hate and machines of war...
Davros: Fascinating!
The Doctor: But there's still time to change all that. Why not make them a force for good throughout the universe?
Davros: I could do it...
The Doctor: Then do it. Be remembered for that!
Davros: [about to torture Harry and Sarah in front of the Doctor] Let me tell you what is going to happen. You will answer my questions. You will answer them carefully and precisely. The instruments to which you are wired are particularly sensitive. They will detect instantly any attempt to lie.
The Doctor: And if I do lie?
Davros: If you lie, your friends will suffer. I can create in their bodies all the torments and agonies ever known.
[Davros turn a knob; Sarah and Harry begin to gasp]
Sarah: Don’t — tell him — Doctor!
Davros: Now, you will tell me the reason for every Dalek defeat. With that knowledge, I will program them. With that knowledge, they will know their errors and how to avoid them. With that knowledge, there will be no defeats! We will begin!
The Doctor: [wearily] Davros… If I tell you want you want to know, I betray millions of people in the future. I can’t do that.
Davros: But you can! You will tell me! You will tell me! You will tell me!
Davros: Now, future errors will be eradicated! Defeats will become victories! You have changed the future of the universe, Doctor!
The Doctor: I have betrayed the future! Davros, for the last time, consider what you are doing. Stop the development of the Daleks!
Davros: Impossible. It is beyond my control. The workshops are already fully automated to produce the Dalek machines.
The Doctor: It's not the machines, it's the minds of the creatures inside them. Minds that you created! They are totally evil!
Davros: Evil?! No! No, I will not accept that... They are conditioned simply to survive. They can survive only by becoming the dominant species. When all other life forms are suppressed -- when the Daleks are the supreme rulers of the universe -- then, you will have peace. Wars will end. They are the power not of evil, but of good.
The Doctor: Davros, if you had created a virus in your laboratory, something contagious and infectious that killed on contact, a virus that would destroy all other forms of life; would you allow its use?
Davros: It is an interesting conjecture.
The Doctor: Would you do it?
Davros: The only living thing... The microscopic organism... reigning supreme... A fascinating idea!...
The Doctor: But would you do it?
Davros: ...Yes... yes... To hold in my hand, a capsule that contained such power. To know that life and death on such a scale was my choice. To know that the tiny pressure on my thumb, enough to break the glass, would end everything... Yes! I would do it! That power would set me up above the gods! And through the Daleks, I shall have that power!
[The Doctor jumps up and grabs Davros' arm, almost fighting him.]
Davros: Release me.
The Doctor: No, Davros. [His hand hovers over a small, black button. He is still holding onto Davros' arm.]
Davros: [quietly] Don't touch that switch.
The Doctor: Why not?
Davros: It controls my life-support systems. I could not survive thirty seconds without them.
The Doctor: [whispering] Order the destruction of the incubator section!
Davros: [quietly] Destroy the Daleks? Never!
[The Doctor presses the button. A siren goes off and Davros convulses, going weaker. The Doctor eventually relents.]
The Doctor: [severely] I mean it, Davros. Next time I press that switch, it stays pressed. Now, give the order!
Davros: Even if I do this, there will be no escape for you.
The Doctor: I'll take that chance. Now give the order!
Davros: Press... the communicator switch.
[The Doctor throws a red switch.]
Davros: [loudly] This is Davros! Elite Unit Seven will go to the incubator room. All survival maintenance systems are to be closed down. The Dalek creatures... are to be... destroyed.
The Doctor: Tell them the order cannot be countermanded!
Davros: This order... cannot...
[Nyder creeps up on the Doctor and knocks him out.]
Davros: This is Davros! This is Davros! My last order is cancelled - repeat - cancelled. No action is to be taken. [turns off communicator]
Nyder: What do you want done with this?
Davros: For the moment, he must be kept alive. He has knowledge that is vital to our future, and I will drain every last detail of it from his mind. And then...he will learn the true meaning of pain.
Davros: Ours is the victory, Nyder. We have won! They talk of democracy, freedom, fairness. Those are the creeds of cowards! The ones who would listen to a thousand viewpoints and try to satisfy them all. Achievement comes through absolute power! And power through strength! They have lost!
Sarah Jane: Well, what are you waiting for?!
The Doctor: Just touch these two strands together, and the Daleks are finished... Have I that right?
Sarah Jane: To destroy the Daleks? You can't doubt it!
The Doctor: Well, I do! You see, some things could be better with the Daleks. Many future worlds will become allies because of the fear of the Daleks!
Sarah Jane: It isn't like that!
The Doctor: Well, the final responsibility is mine. And mine alone. You see, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives... could you then kill that child?
Sarah Jane: [pause] We're talking about the Daleks, the most evil creatures ever invented. You must destroy them! You must complete your mission for the Time Lords!
The Doctor: Do I have the right? Simply touch one wire against the other, and it's it? The Daleks cease to exist? Hundreds of millions of people, thousands of generations, can live without fear, in peace, and never even know the word "Dalek"?
Sarah Jane: Then why wait? If it was a disease or some sort of bacteria you were destroying, you wouldn't even hesitate!
The Doctor: But if I kill, wipe out a whole intelligent life form, then I'd become like them. I'd be no better than the Daleks.
Sarah Jane: Think of all the suffering there'll be if you don't do it!
Bettan: Right, bring out the explosives. Now, lay the charges on each of these main carriers. [indicates the pillars supporting the ceiling] One charge for each beam should be enough. Are you quite sure this is the only way into the bunker?
Sevrin: Well, the only other way was from the Kaled dome, and your war rocket caved that it. It can never be cleared.
Bettan: If we do the same here, we'll entomb the Daleks and those who created them.
Sevrin: But Sarah and the Doctor are inside. You'll give them a chance to get clear, won't you?
Bettan: I must blow the roof as soon as the charges are laid. I can't delay. If the Daleks find out what we are doing and attack, I don't have enough men or arms to stand them off.
Sevrin: How long?
Bettan: Thirty minutes, perhaps less.
Sevrin: Then I must get inside and try and warn them.
Bettan: That's up to you. But you must understand. If you're not back, I must go on. You'll die in there with them.
Sevrin: [beat] I understand.
Bettan: I'll give you what time I can.
Sevrin: Right. [walks into the bunker]
Davros: The automated Dalek production line has started. I gave no such order. Who did?
Dalek: I gave the command.
Davros: You will perform no function unless ordered by me. You will obey only my commands. The production line is to be halted immediately.
[Dalek makes no movement to obey]
Davros: You heard my order. Obey! ...Obey!
[Dalek still makes no move]
Davros: Nyder.
Nyder: Yes, Davros.
[Dalek fires and kills Nyder as he tries to halt the production line]
Dalek: Production will continue!
Davros: You must obey me! I created you! I am the master, not you! I — I — I —
Dalek: Our programming does not permit us to acknowledge that any creature is superior to the Daleks!
Davros: You cannot exist without me! You cannot progress!
Dalek: We are programmed to survive. We have the ability to develop in any way necessary to ensure that survival!
Dalek: All inferior creatures are to be considered the enemy of the Daleks and destroyed!
Davros: No wait! Those men are scientists! They can help you! Let them live! Have pity!
Dalek: "Pity"? I have no understanding of the word. It is not registered in my vocabulary bank. EXTERMINATE!
[The Daleks kill the other scientists]
Davros: For the last time, I am your creator! You must — you will obey me!
Dalek: We obey no one! We are the superior beings! EXTERMINATE!!!
[Davros tries to reach for the destroy button, but the Dalek shoots him down]
Dalek: We are entombed, but we live on. This is only the beginning. We will prepare. We will grow stronger. When the time is right, we will emerge and take our rightful place as the supreme power of the universe!!!
The Doctor: [last words of the episode] Failed? No, not really. You see, I know that although the Daleks will create havoc and destruction for millions of years, I know also that out of their evil must come something good.

Revenge of the Cybermen [12.5]

[edit]
(19 April - 10 May 1975)
The Doctor: [while examining an infected man who's going to be shot by his comrades] The man is sick, he needs treatment!
Lester: There is no treatment. All we can try to do is stop the infection spreading!
The Doctor: Sorry, gentlemen, I can't allow it.
Commander Stevenson: You can't allow it?
The Doctor: My colleague is a doctor of medicine and I'm a doctor of many things. If we could examine him-
Kellman: [interrupting him] Commander, I'm afraid we have to kill these people, too. They brought the plague in here.
The Doctor: Who's the homicidal maniac?
Doctor: Have you noticed these rather strange scratches, Commander?
Commander Stevenson: Can’t say that I have.
Doctor: All over the ship. I’ve seen them somewhere before, if only I could remember where.
Commander Stevenson: Is it important?
Doctor: Everything’s important. Well well well.
Commander Stevenson: What is it?
Doctor: I’ve just made a third interesting discovery about your plague virus, Commander.
Commander Stevenson: A third?
Doctor: Yes. One, it scratches metal. Two, it attacks its victims so suddenly that they become unconscious before they can even raise the alarm, and three…
Commander Stevenson: Go on.
Doctor: It removes tape from radio logs. It must be a very literate and inquisitive virus.
The Doctor: I smell a rat. [The Doctor exits]
Commander Stevenson: [to Sarah Jane] You know, I sometimes wonder if your friend is quite right in the head.
Sarah Jane: If the Doctor scented a rat, Commander, he'll find one.
[Sarah and Harry are chained in a prison]
Harry: [picks up chain, fascinated] Sarah, these chains are solid gold.
Sarah Jane: Harry, will you just shut up about your rotten gold!
Harry: Twenty-four carat, by the looks of it.
Sarah Jane: It's because of gold that we're in this mess.
Harry: Just thinking.
Sarah Jane: Well don't!
Harry: Gold's a very soft metal, isn't it, Sarah, so if we can find a decent bit of rock we might be able to file through.
Sarah Jane: Well, we can't just sit here glittering, can we!
[The Cybermen have gunned the Doctor down]
Cyberman: All resistance overcome.
Cyberman Leader: The beacon is ours!
The Doctor: You've no home planet, no influence, nothing! You're just a pathetic bunch of tin soldiers skulking about the galaxy in an ancient spaceship!
Lester: Why don't we just wait here?
The Doctor: I think my idea is better.
Lester: What is your idea?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. That's the trouble with ideas - they only come a bit at a time.
[Harry tries to unbuckle the strap the Doctor is wearing]
Lester: Harry, don't touch it! Open that buckle and you'll be blown to kingdom come.
Harry: You mean it's booby-trapped?
Lester: These buckles can't be opened until the Cybermen beam the release signal.
The Doctor: Harry, [sits up] were you trying to undo this?
Harry: Well, naturally.
The Doctor: Did you make the rocks fall, Harry?
Harry: Well, I suppose I must have done that, yes...
The Doctor: ...Yes, yes... [starts laughing, and then roars] HARRY SULLIVAN IS AN IMBECILE!!!
The Doctor: [after unclasping his harness and it doesn't explode] Well, I'm impressed.
The Doctor: Oh please, don't call me human. Just "Doctor" would do very nicely, thank you.
[The Doctor has been tied up back to back with Sarah]
Cyberman Leader: The Beacon is approaching Voga at ten thousand light units. It is time for us to leave.
The Doctor: Bye bye.
[the Doctor turns to stare out window, dragging Sarah around]
Cyberman Leader: You two are especially privileged. You are about to die in the biggest explosion ever witnessed in this solar system. It will be a magnificent spectacle. Unhappily, you will be unable to appreciate it.
[The Cybermen leave]
The Doctor: Nice sense of irony. I thought for a moment he was going to smile.
The Doctor: Cogito ergo sum.
Sarah: What?
The Doctor: I think, therefore it missed.
Sarah: Yes, but we're still headed for the biggest bang in history!
The Doctor: Oh yes...Oh no. They've locked the gyro controls. The flight trimmers are jammed!
Sarah: What - what does that mean?
The Doctor: It means we're heading for the biggest bang in history.

Season 13

[edit]

Terror of the Zygons [13.1]

[edit]
(30 August - 20 September 1975)
The Doctor: When I left that psionic beam with you, Brigadier, I said that it was only to be used in an emergency!
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: This is an emergency!
The Doctor: Oil? An emergency? Ha! It's about time the people who run this planet of yours realised that to be dependent on a mineral slime just doesn't make sense.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Corporal?
Corporal: Sir?
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: I'm still waiting for that liaison report. You're still in touch with the Coastguards?
Corporal: Sir.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Right. I want a twenty four hour watch kept on every inch of this coastline.
Corporal: Sir.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: If the Doctor's right, if there is some sort of sea monster out there attacking the rigs, we've got to be ready for anything.
Corporal: Sir.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: It could decide to come inland.
Corporal: Sir.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Can't you say anything else but sir?
Corporal: Sorry, sir.
The Doctor: You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle.
[As the spaceship rocks with a large explosion.]
The Doctor: Sounds like the Brigadier.
Broton (Zygon Leader): You admire our technology, human?
The Doctor: Well, I'm not human; and I've seen better.

Planet of Evil [13.2]

[edit]
(27 September - 18 October 1975)
Sarah Jane: What's gone wrong this time?
The Doctor: Nothing. Nothing at all. What makes you think something's gone wrong?
Sarah Jane: Because you always get rude when you're trying to cover up a mistake.
The Doctor: Nothing of consequence. Slight overshoot, easily rectified.
Sarah Jane: Come on, where are we?
The Doctor: We've come out of the time vortex at the wrong point, that's all. A few years too late.
Sarah Jane: How many?
The Doctor: ...30,000.
Salamar: Have you checked the transmitters down there?
Vishinsky: Yes, but any signal would have been monitored by our receivers.
The Doctor: Perhaps my receivers are better than yours.
Ponti: [shoves the Doctor] Shut up!
The Doctor: My manners certainly are.
The Doctor: Here on Zeta Minor is the boundary between existence as you know it and the other universe which you just don't understand. From the beginning of time it has existed side by side with the known universe. Each is the antithesis of the other. You call it "nothing", a word to cover ignorance. And centuries ago scientists invented another word for it. "Antimatter", they called it. And you, by coming here, have crossed the boundary into that other universe to plunder it. Dangerous.
The Doctor: You and I are scientists, professor. We purchase the right to experiment at the cost of total responsibility.
The Doctor: Come on, Sarah. We've an appointment in London and we're already 30,000 years late.

Pyramids of Mars [13.3]

[edit]
(25 October – 15 November 1975)
Sarah Jane: What's the matter? You should be glad to be going home!
The Doctor: The Earth isn't my home, Sarah. I'm a Time Lord.
Sarah Jane: Oh, I know you're a Time Lord.
The Doctor: You don't understand the implications. I'm not a human being; I walk in eternity...
Sarah Jane: What's that supposed to mean?
The Doctor: It means I've lived for something like 750 years.
Sarah Jane: All right, so you're middle-aged!
The Doctor: Yes! About time I found something to do than run around after the Brigadier!
The Doctor: Something's going on contrary to the laws of the universe. I must find out what!
[The Doctor is attempting to open a lock.]
The Doctor: French pick-lock? Never fails. Belonged to Marie Antoinette, charming lady. Lost her head, poor thing...
[The Doctor and Sarah have landed in the location of UNIT headquarters, but in an earlier time period.]
The Doctor: Of course this would be a perfect headquarters for some paramilitary organization. This room could easily be turned into a laboratory.
The Doctor: Something's interfering with time, Mr. Scarman. And time is my business.
[Sarah finds a box of gelignite]
Sarah Jane: This looks like it. (throws it down to the Doctor)
The Doctor: Ah!
Sarah Jane: What's the matter? Not enough?
The Doctor: Sweaty gelignite is highly unstable... One good sneeze could set it off. (puts the box on the floor gently)
The Doctor: Did you find any fuses?
Sarah Jane: No...(with a straight face) perhaps he sneezed.
(The Doctor glares at her.)
The Doctor: Yes... perhaps it is time we were leaving. Don't want to be blamed for starting a fire, do we?
Sarah Jane: No!
The Doctor: There was enough of that in 1666.
Sarah Jane: (laughing) What?
Sarah Jane: That can't be... I'm from 1980...
[The Doctor is disguising himself as one of Sutekh's "mummies" after disabling one.]
The Doctor: How do I look?
Sarah Jane: (smirking) Hmm. Must have been a nasty accident!
The Doctor: (Annoyed) Don't provoke me.
Butler: Oh you're not fooling me sir, you came with Dr. Warlock didn't you?
The Doctor: Did we?
Butler: He asked you to scout 'round while he kept His Nibs busy.
The Doctor: Who?
Butler: The Egyptian, sir.
The Doctor: Ah, Egyptian eh? Is this where he keeps his relatives?
The Doctor: Well, Mr Scarman, I really must congratulate you for inventing the radio telescope 40 years early.
Laurence Scarman: That, sir, is a Marconiscope. Its purpose is...
The Doctor: ...is to receive radio emissions from the stars.
Laurence Scarman: [beat] How could you possibly know that?
The Doctor: Well, you see, Mr Scarman, I have the advantage of being slightly ahead of you. Sometimes behind you, but normally ahead of you.
Laurence Scarman: I see.
The Doctor: I'm sure you don't but it's very nice of you to try.
The Doctor: Where are we?
Scarman: [whispered] A priest hole.
The Doctor: In a Victorian Gothic Folly? Nonsense!
Sarah Jane: Oh, so pedantic at a time like this!
The Doctor: Door. Key.
Sarah Jane: As simple as that?
The Doctor: No, not really.
Sarah Jane: I didn't think so.
Sutekh: No, you will not die yet. Identify yourself.
The Doctor: Just destroy me, Sutekh. Nothing else now is left within your power.
Sutekh: [more forcefully] Identify yourself. It is within my power to choose the manner of your death.[Sutekh's eyes light up and the Doctor screams in pain] I can, if I choose, keep you alive for centuries, racked by the most excruciating pain. Since your interference has condemned me forever to remain a prisoner in the Eye of Horus, it would be a fitting end. You would make an amusing diversion. [slowly lifting his powers] Identify yourself, plaything of Sutekh.
The Doctor: I'm a traveller.
Sutekh: From where?
The Doctor: Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterborus.
Sutekh: Names mean nothing. What is the binary location from galactic zero centre?
The Doctor: Ten zero eleven, zero zero by zero two.
Sutekh: I know the planet. Data retrieval. [the monitor shows Gallifrey's location and its details in Osiran] So, you are a Time Lord.
The Doctor: I renounced the society of the Time Lords. Now I'm simply a traveller.
Sutekh: In time and space. [his eyes light up and he asks more aggressively] In time and space?
The Doctor: [screaming] Yes! Yes!
Sutekh: Ah. Approach closer. What are you called, Time Lord?
The Doctor: Doctor.
Sutekh: I offer you an alliance, Doctor. Serve me truly, and an empire can be yours.
The Doctor: Serve you, Sutekh? Your name is abominated in every civilised world, whether that name be Set, Satan, Sados--
Sutekh: Serve me, Doctor.
The Doctor: Never! Agh!
Sutekh: [laughing] You pit your puny will against mine? Kneel!
The Doctor: NO...!
Sutekh: [laughing] Kneel before the might of Sutekh! In my presence you are an ant, a termite. Abase yourself, you grovelling insect!
Sutekh: You are a Time Lord. What interest have you in humans?
The Doctor: All sapient lifeforms are our kith, Sutekh.
Sutekh: Horus held that view. I refute it.
The Doctor: Because you fear that other intelligent lifeforms may grow to rival you in power, so you kill all life wherever you find it.
Sutekh: [amused] Your argument is a cloud, but I see through it into your mind. The human girl - she travels with you.
[The TARDIS is shown on the monitor]
The Doctor: If you can do that by mental force, Sutekh, then nothing can be beyond you.
Sutekh: Nothing... except to free myself from the Eye of Horus.
The Doctor: You use your powers for evil!
Sutekh: Evil? Your evil is my good. I am Sutekh the Destroyer. Where I tread, I leave nothing but dust and darkness... I find that good!
The Doctor: Then I curse you, Sutekh, in the name of all nature. You are a twisted abhorrence! [Sutekh's eyes glow again, making him collapse and cry out in pain]
Sutekh: Any further insolence, Doctor, and I shall shred your nervous system into a million fibres. Is that understood?
The Doctor: Deactivating a generator loop without the correct key is like repairing a watch with a hammer and chisel; one false move and you'll never know the time again.
Sarah Jane: Any more comforting thoughts?
The Doctor: No. Just let me know if it starts to get hot.
Sarah Jane: Don't worry. You'll hear me breaking the sound barrier!

The Android Invasion [13.4]

[edit]
(22 November - 13 December 1975)
The Doctor: It's a robot detector. It lights up in the presence of androids.
[The detector lights up]
Android Colonel Faraday: ...Thing must be faulty!
The Doctor: I don't think so. I see I was just too late.
The Android Doctor: [Suddenly entering] A pity you had to find out. We didn't want any shooting until our takeover was complete.
The Doctor: Hello, Doctor! We've been waiting for you.
The Android Doctor: Stand back, Doctor!
The Doctor: You know, the resemblance is astonishing! For a moment, I thought I was seeing double!
Android Benton: Hold it, Doctor! [points gun at the Doctor]
The Doctor: Don't be a fool, Benton! I'm one of you!
Android Benton: But--
The Doctor: Didn't you hear the Colonel just now? The Doctor's not here. He's at large somewhere in the complex!
Android Benton: Oh, yes, of course, sir. I'm sorry, sir.
The Doctor: Oh, that's all right, Benton-- but keep your wits about you. Nobody knows who's who around here!

[Android Doctor walks through door]

Android Benton: [points gun at the Doctor]
Android Doctor: Don't be a fool, Benton! I'm one of you!
Android Benton:[fires the gun.]
Android Doctor: Satisfied?
Android Benton: But he just passed me!

The Brain of Morbius [13.5]

[edit]
(3 January - 24 January 1976)
The Doctor: Do you think I don't know the difference between an internal fault and an external influence! No, no, no, there's something going on here. Some dirty work they won't touch with their lily white hands!
The Doctor [standing outside the opened door, in the pouring rain]: Could you spare a glass of water?
The Doctor: [seeing the TARDIS] How did you get her here, by the way?
Sister of Karn: The power of the Sisterhood.
The Doctor: Really? But . . . you mean you still practise teleportation? How quaint! Now if you got yourself a decent forklift truck . . .
Sister of Karn: You have but a little time left. Will you waste it prattling nonsense, or confess your guilt?
The Doctor: What do you mean, I have but a little time left?
Sister of Karn: Before you die.
The Doctor: But I'm only seven hundred and forty-nine. Life doesn't begin until seven hundred and fif-
Sister of Karn: At the next sun, that is agreed.
The Doctor: Not by me, it isn't. I haven't even been consulted!
The Doctor: If you're going to sit there wallowing in self-pity, I'll bite your nose.
Morbius: Do you think I care about my ultimate appearance?! Just to walk again, to feel, to see...!
Solon: Naturally, that is how you think now, my lord. But when you are once more a physical entity, imagine how you will see yourself then. Think how it will be then!
Morbius: Solon, I think of nothing else! Trapped like this, like a sponge beneath the sea - yet even a sponge has more life than I! Can you understand a thousandth of my agony?! I, Morbius, who once led the High Council of the Time Lords and dreamed the greatest dreams in history, now reduced to this! To a condition where I envy a vegetable!
Sarah: [Finding the Doctor on the floor of the lab] Doctor...!
The Doctor: [Opens eyes and sees Sarah not-blind for the first time] Hello, Sarah! Nice to be seen again!
Sarah: Oh, Doctor!
The Doctor: You thought I was dead, didn't you?
Sarah: Mmm!
The Doctor: You're always making that mistake.
Sarah: How many seconds in a month?
The Doctor: Two million, six hundred and seventy-eight thousand, four hundred-- [stops as he sees Morbius arriving]
Sarah: Short month! [sees Morbius and gasps]
Morbius: An ingenious idea, Doctor, but ineffectual. Your poison affected only Solon. I have the lungs of a Birastrop.
The Doctor: With a methane filter. What does it feel like to be the biggest mongrel in the universe?
Morbius: Solon designed this body for efficiency, not for its appearance. To be free again is all that matters!
The Doctor: Free to cause more havoc, more destruction?
Morbius: The Time Lords will not oppose me again, nor the Sisterhood! When it is learnt that I, Morbius, have returned from the grave, my followers will rise in their millions!
The Doctor: You can't really go on calling yourself Morbius. There's very little of Morbius left! Why don't you think of another name? "Potpourri" would be appropriate!
Sarah: Or how about "Chop Suey"!
The Doctor: Chop Suey, the Galactic Emperor!
Morbius: [enraged] YOU will be the first to die!
The Doctor: Brain getting a little overheated, is it? Careful, not as strong as it was!
Morbius: My brain functions perfectly!
The Doctor: I doubt it, Morbius! All that time in a tank, it's gone soft! Do you dare put it to the test?
Morbius: What test?
The Doctor: We have all the apparatus here. I challenge you to a mindbending contest.
Morbius: I am a Time Lord of the first rank! What are you?!
The Doctor: Oh, nothing, nothing, a mere nobody! But I don't think you're in the first rank any more.
Morbius: Very well, Doctor. If that is how you want to die, I accept your challenge!
The Doctor: There's a sporting gentleman!
Sarah: What's mindbending?
The Doctor: Time Lord wrestling. It's usually a game, but it can end in death-lock.
Morbius: It will, Doctor! I, Morbius, do not play games!
The Doctor: Neither do I. Are you ready?

The Seeds of Doom [13.6]

[edit]
(31 January - 6 March 1976)
The Doctor: If we don't find that pod before it germinates, it will be the end of everything - EVERYTHING, you understand?! Even your pension!
Sarah: Will they be able to help that man?
The Doctor: I don't know, Sarah. He's halfway towards becoming a Krynoid.
Sarah: Krynoid?
The Doctor: Yes. A progression of the pod.
Sarah: So you recognised it.
The Doctor: Yes, I was fairly certain when I saw the photographs. Now I'm sure.
Sarah: Well, what is a Krynoid? I mean, what does it do?
The Doctor: I suppose you could call it a galactic weed, except it's deadlier than any weed you know.
Sarah: In what way?
The Doctor: Well, on most planets, the animals eat the vegetation, hmm?
Sarah: Mmm hmm.
The Doctor: On planets where the Krynoid gets established, the vegetation eats the animals.
Sarah: But that's terrifying!
The Doctor: Yes.
Sarah: Well, how did it get through space?
The Doctor: An obvious question. I wish I knew the answer. Possibly their planet of origin is turbulent from time to time, any internal explosions could cause surface matter to go shooting into space.
Sarah: So what do we do about Winlett?
The Doctor: I'm thinking, Sarah, I'm thinking.
Scorby: Okay, start talking.
The Doctor: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart had perfect pitch...
Scorby: [referring to corpse] What happened to him?
The Doctor: Who, Wolfgang Amadeus...? Oh, him. Oh, he died.
The Doctor: We're trying to trace the owner.
Amelia Ducat: Isn't it [her painting] yours?
The Doctor: No. We found it in a car boot
Amelia Ducat: A car boot?
The Doctor: A Daimler car boot
Amelia Ducat: The car is immaterial.
Sarah: The driver wasn't. He tried to kill us.
The Doctor: Can you remember who bought this particular painting?
Amelia Ducat: Well, nobody. I haven't finished it yet.
Sarah: No, hang about, not that one. This one, Miss Ducat.
The Doctor: Common snakes-head fritillary.
Amelia Ducat: Oh, that one. Oh, dear me. It was a long time ago. Now what was his name? Something like face? Mace? Lace?
Sarah: Pace?
The Doctor: Base?
Amelia Ducat: That's right. Chase! Of course. Harrison Chase the millionaire. Good lord. He never paid me!
The Doctor: [As the armed guards seize him and Sarah] That's right, grab us! We're very dangerous.
The Doctor: Hello, this is Sarah Jane, she's my best friend.
The Doctor: [As Sarah accidentally speeds up the composter] NOT THAT BUTTON, THE OTHER ONE!
Krynoid/Keeler: Give the Doctor to us. Your lives will then be spared.
Scorby: You better think of something quickly, hadn't you, Doctor!
The Doctor: Oh, Scorby, take no notice of it. I've heard that one before.
Scorby: It sounds like a pretty fair deal to me! How 'bout it, Doctor? You'd lay down your life for others, wouldn't you?
Sarah: Oh, not to save your skin, not after what you did to us!
Scorby: It's different!
Sarah: Why is it different?!
Scorby: He'd be sacrificing himself for you, for all of us!
The Doctor: EXCUSE me! Would you mind if I said something?
Sarah: And you'd better listen, because nobody else knows how to fight that creature!
Krynoid/Keeler: Hear this, humans. You have till daybreak to deliver the Doctor.
Scorby: Why wait?! Why not now?!
The Doctor: Scorby, if I die, you die.
Scorby: I'll take a chance on that--
The Doctor: (losing his temper) THERE IS NO CHANCE!
Major Beresford: I've been telling Sir Colin that without the proper authority, I will not launch a raid on someone's private property!
The Doctor: Waffle! Waffle, waffle, waffle!
[Harrison Chase, influenced by the Krynoid, prepares to kill Sarah Jane with the compost machine]
Harrison Chase: The sergeant's no longer with us. He's in the garden. He's part of the garden.
Sarah: That's very clever of you.
Harrison Chase: Don't humour me, Miss Smith. We're helping the plant world, the sergeant and I. In different ways, of course. I've become part of a life that I've always admired for its beauty, colours, sensitivity. I have the Krynoid to thank, as it thanks me for its opportunity to exist here on Earth. Soon the Krynoids will dominate everywhere, and your foul species will disappear.
Sarah: And you'll all flower happily ever after.
Harrison Chase: You and your kind are nothing but parasites. You're dependant upon us for the air you breathe, and the food you eat. We have only one use for you...
Harrison Chase: What do you do for an encore, Doctor?
The Doctor: I win.

Season 14

[edit]

The Masque of Mandragora [14.1]

[edit]
(4 September - 25 September 1976)
The Doctor: You can't count, Count!
The Doctor: You humans have got such limited, little minds. I don't know why I like you so much.
Sarah: Because you have such good taste.
The Doctor:....That's true! That's very true!
The Doctor: I love a knees-up!

The Hand of Fear [14.2]

[edit]
(2 October - 23 October 1976)
Physician: You're a doctor, yourself?
The Doctor: Well sort of, yes.
Physician: How do you do. Tell me, where did you qualify, if I may ask?
The Doctor: A place called Gallifrey.
Physician: Gallifrey. I've not heard of it. Perhaps it's in Ireland.
The Doctor: Probably.
Sarah: Eldrad must live.
[Professor Watson is amazed that the missiles have had no effect.]
The Doctor: Any being that can exist, let alone thrive, inside a nuclear pile is hardly likely to be deterred by a few primitive missiles.
Professor Watson: But they're the most powerful missiles we have!
The Doctor: On your standards, perhaps. I think we should try much older weapons.
Sarah: Like?
The Doctor: Speech? Diplomacy?
Professor Watson: What?
The Doctor: Conversation? Come on, driver, let's go!
[Sarah has caught up with the Doctor after he told her to stay behind and wait in safety.]
Sarah: I worry about you.
[After Sarah has outlined why she should be allowed to accompany him.]
The Doctor: But . . .
Sarah: Ah, but what?
The Doctor: I worry about you.
Sarah: So? Be careful.
The Doctor: We'll both be careful.
The Doctor: (angrily) Damn it! The aliens must have left this planet half dead!
King Rokon: So, now you are King, as was your wish. I salute you from the dead. Hail Eldrad! King... of nothing.
[Sarah having to leave the Doctor]
Sarah: Don't forget me.
The Doctor: Oh, Sarah. Don't you forget me.
Sarah: Bye, Doctor. You know, travel really does broaden the mind.
The Doctor: Yes. Until we meet again, Sarah.

The Deadly Assassin [14.3]

[edit]
(30 October - 20 November 1976)
The Doctor: Through the millennia, the Time Lords of Gallifrey led a life of ordered calm, protected against all threats from lesser civilisations by their great power. But this was to change. Suddenly, and terribly, the Time Lords faced the most dangerous crisis in their long history...
[The Doctor bends down to avoid the detection of the guard.]
Runcible: I say, is something the matter?
The Doctor: No, no, just a twinge in the knee.
Runcible: Well, if you will lead such a rackety life... Have you had a facelift?
The Doctor: Several, so far.
The Doctor: That's monstrous! Vaporisation without representation is against the constitution!
[The Doctor is being tortured.]
The Doctor: All right! I confess, I confess. I confess to you're being a bigger idiot than I thought.
The Doctor: Oh! Engin, I can feel my hair curling and that can mean either that it's going to rain...or that I'm on to something.
[before running across the Panopticon]
The Doctor: I'm not as old as I used to be!
The Doctor: Of course... What a stupendous egotist!
[The Doctor to The Master.]
The Doctor: You'd delay an execution to pull the wings off a fly.
Engin: What is the Master like on mathematics?
The Doctor: He's brilliant, absolutely brilliant — he's almost up to my standards.
The Master: You do not understand hatred as I understand it. Only hate keeps me alive. Why else should I endure this pain?
The Doctor: Why have you brought me here?
The Master: As a scapegoat for the killing of the President! Who else but you, Doctor? So despicably good. So insufferably compassionate... I wanted you to die in ignominious shame and disgrace!
The Master: Doctor, my congratulations, you're just in time for the end!
The Doctor: You're insane! You're insane, do you hear me? You're releasing a force that nothing can stop!
The Master: Take the rod. You could take it with you to your grave, except that none of you will need a grave!
The Doctor: If you undo that, you'll die as surely as any of us!
The Master: You can do better than that, Doctor. Even in extremis, I wear the Sash of Rassilon!
The Doctor: Yes! And the president was wearing it when he was shot down! The sash won't protect you! It's damaged!
The Master: You lie!
Borusa: As I believe I told you long ago, Doctor, you will never amount to anything in the galaxy while you retain your propensity for vulgar facetiousness.
The Doctor: Yes, sir. You've said that many times, sir. May I go, sir?
Borusa: Certainly you may, preferably with the utmost expedition. [To Spandrell] Perhaps you will see that the transduction barriers are raised.
Spandrell: Yes, sir.
Borusa: Oh, Doctor?
The Doctor: Sir?
Borusa: Nine out of ten.
The Doctor: Oh... [chuckles bashfully] Thank you, sir.

The Face of Evil [14.4]

[edit]
(1 January - 22 January 1977)
The Doctor: Killing me isn't going to help you. It isn't going to do me much good either...
The Doctor: You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit the views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.
The Doctor: Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard.
[Leela meets the Doctor for the first time]
Leela: The evil one!
The Doctor: Well nobody's perfect but that's overstating it a little!
The Doctor: Would you like a jelly baby?
Leela: It's true then. They say the Evil One eats babies.
The Doctor: Now drop your weapons, or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby!
Warrior: Kill him, then.
The Doctor: What?
Warrior: Kill him, then.
The Doctor: I don't take orders from anyone.

[The Doctor eats the jelly baby.]

The Doctor: If they're preparing for a battle, they're hardly likely to send men on patrol on the off chance that you might come back. [several crossbow bolts strike the tree inches from his face] On the other hand, I could be wrong about that.
Sevateem Tribe Member: Who are you?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. Who are you, and why are you shooting at me?
The Doctor: I wonder...
Leela: What?
The Doctor: Hush! I'm wondering.
The Doctor: Odd feeling...
Leela: What is?
The Doctor: Standing in my own throat is.

The Robots of Death [14.5]

[edit]
(29 January - 19 February 1977)
[Leela is manipulating a yo-yo while The Doctor is at the control console of the TARDIS]
Leela: Doctor?
The Doctor: Hmm?
Leela: Can I stop now?
The Doctor: If you want to.
Leela: It will not affect this?
The Doctor: Affect this? No, it's a yo-yo. It's a game; I thought you were enjoying it.
Leela: [incredulously] Enjoying it?! [drops the yo-yo] You said I had to keep it going up and down, I thought it was part of the magic!
The Doctor: [looks at Leela with wide-eyed surprise] Magic, Leela? Magic?
Leela: I know; I know, there's no such thing as magic.
The Doctor: That's right. To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.
Leela: So; explain to me how this, "TARDIS" is larger on the inside than the out?
The Doctor: Hmmm? Alright, I'll show you. It's because insides and outsides are not in the same dimension. [The Doctor holds up two black cubes of differing sizes] Which box is larger?
Leela: [pointing to the larger of the two] That one.
The Doctor: Alright... [The Doctor places the larger cube on the command console, and walks over next to Leela and holds up the smaller one] Now, which is larger?
Leela: [incredulously, pointing at the larger cube sitting on the console] That one!
The Doctor: But it looks smaller.
Leela: Well, that's because it's further away!
The Doctor: Exactly! If you could keep that exactly that distance away, and have it here, the large one would fit inside the small one.
Leela: That's silly.
The Doctor: That's trans-dimensional engineering; a key Time Lord discovery!
Leela:You mean you can't control this thing?!
The Doctor:Of course I can control. (adds in an undertone as she looks at him dubiously) Nine times out of ten. All right, seven times out of ten. Five times out of ten...never mind!
The Doctor: I never carry weapons. If people see you mean them no harm, they never hurt you. Nine times out of ten...
The Doctor: Would you like a jelly baby?
Borg: SHUT UP! [slaps the jelly babies out of his hand]
The Doctor: A simple 'no, thank you' would have been sufficient...
The Doctor: You're a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.
[D84 is being attacked with robot parts.]
D84: Please do not throw hands at me.
The Doctor: [Indicating a piece of Lab equipment] Do you know what this is?
D84: It's a Laserson Probe. It can punch a fist-sized hole through six-inch armour plating or take the crystals from a snowflake one by one.
The Doctor: I see, you're one of those boring maniacs who's going to gloat. Are you going to tell me your plan for running the universe?
Taren Capel: Oh, no, Doctor. I'm going to burn out your brain. Very, very slowly.
[The Doctor on Leela's squeaky voice.]
The Doctor: Oh, there's a mouse in the wainscoating.

The Talons of Weng-Chiang [14.6]

[edit]
(26 February - 2 April 1977)
The Doctor: Sleep is for tortoises!
Leela: What's the tribe here?
The Doctor: Cockneys!
[Someone throws an axe at the Doctor and misses; it sticks in a doorframe beside his head]
The Doctor: Were you trying to attract my attention?
The Doctor: What's this?!
Leela: A janis thorn.
The Doctor: I thought I told you not to carry any more--
Leela: He was trying to kill you!
The Doctor: Oh. [beat] Oh. Well, in that case, you'd better come with me.
The Doctor: I've always enjoyed messing about in boats!
Jago: Well, if you need any help, Doctor, I hope I know where my duty lies.
The Doctor: [Ironically] I knew I could rely on you.
Jago: Oh, to the limit! Though, I suppose you've got your own men scattered throughout the audience.
The Doctor: No.
Jago: No? [Beat] You mean nobody?
The Doctor: [Emphatically] Nobody. When the moment comes, Mr Jago, you and I can face our destiny shoulder to shoulder.
Jago: Oh, corks.
[Litefoot lights a pipe]
Leela: Why are you putting fire in your mouth?
Litefoot: Good lord. Has the girl never seen a pipe before?
The Doctor: There's no tobacco where Leela comes from
Litefoot: Sounds healthy, but exceedingly dull
Chiang: Please to keep very quiet! Chiang shoot fifty peasants learning this trick!
The Doctor: Hah! Do you know what this is?
Leela: You ask me so that you can tell me!
The Doctor: Exactly.
Leela: So, maybe he's got another 'eureka'?
The Doctor: No, 'eureka' is Greek for 'this bath is too hot.'
The Doctor: Never trust a man with dirty fingernails!
Jago: What's the matter?
Litefoot: I heard something.
Jago: What sort of thing.
Litefoot: People. Just a group went by.
Jago: More Wongs for the Tong, I suppose.
Leela: I owe you my life, Doctor. Thank you.
Jago: Time to thank him when we're out of this.
Jago: Has she got the gun?
[Leela shoots the handgun at the floor]
Litefoot: Hey! Who are you shooting at?
Leela: Well, I've never fired one of these before! [Shoots it at the floor again]
[Literally moments after destroying the last of their enemies, all the protagonists stand shellshocked in the main room of the House of the Golden Dragon]
The Doctor: Listen! It's the muffin man! Come on. I'll buy you all muffins.

Season 15

[edit]

Horror of Fang Rock [15.1]

[edit]
(3 September - 24 September 1977)
The Doctor: The localised condition of planetary atmospheric condensation caused a malfunction in the visual orientation circuits. Or to put it another way, we got lost in the fog.
Lord Palmerdale: Are you in charge here?
The Doctor: No, but I'm full of ideas!
[The Doctor encounters the Rutan
The Doctor: Now I remember: Reuben the Rutan!
Rutan: You know our form?
The Doctor: Well, when you've seen one Rutan, you've seen them all.
Rutan: We are a Rutan scout. We are specially trained in the new metamorphosis techniques.
The Doctor: Well, I expect you'll get better at it in time. What are you doing in this part of the galaxy, anyway?
Rutan: That doesn't concern you! You are to be destroyed.
The Doctor: Got it. You're at last losing that interminable war with the Sontarans.
Rutan: [offended] That is a lie!
The Doctor: Is it? You used to own the whole of the Mutter's Spiral once. Now the Sontarans have driven you to the farthest fringes of the galaxy.
Rutan: The glorious Rutan army is making a series of strategic withdrawals to selected strongpoints.
The Doctor: Rutan, that's the empty rhetoric of a defeated dictator, and I don't like your face either.
Rutan: Your mockery will end with your race, Earthling, when the mighty Rutan Battlefleet occupies this planet.
The Doctor: Why invade an obscure planet like Earth? It's of no value to you.
Rutan: The planet is obscure. But its strategic position is sound. We shall use it as a launch point for our final assault on the Sontaran rabble.
The Doctor: But if you set up a power base here, the Sontarans will bombard it with photonic missiles.
Rutan: That is unimportant. It will serve the course of our final, glorious victory.
The Doctor: And what about its people?
Rutan: Primitive bipeds of no value. We scouted all the planets of this solar system - only this one suits our purpose.
The Doctor: I can understand your military purposes, but why murder a handful of harmless humans?
Rutan: It is necessary! Until we return to our Mothership, and the Mothership informs the fleet, no one must know of our visit to Earth.
The Doctor: [mocking] But you crashed, didn't you? Just as you made your discovery, you failed!
Rutan: Failed? We are sending a signal to the Mothership, with the power from the primitive mechanism below.
The Doctor: [shows a severed antenna] You're not, you know.
[The Rutan buzzes briefly in thought]
Rutan: It's of no importance. The ship will home in on the primary signal.
The Doctor: I'm sorry to disappoint you. I fixed that as well, oyster-face.
Rutan: [prideful] All your interference is useless! The beam was transmitted - long enough for the Mothership to trace the signal.
The Doctor: You can't be certain of that.
Rutan: [firm] It will come.
The Doctor: But by then, you'll be dead!
Rutan: [confident] What could you Earthlings possibly do to us?
The Doctor: [heading upstairs] Well, if you'll just step this way, I'll show you...
[After Leela fatally wounds the Rutan with the Doctor's weapon]
Rutan: Your triumph... will be short, Earthling... Our Mothership... will blast this island... into molten rock!
Leela: Empty threats, Rutan! Enjoy your death as I enjoyed killing you!
Rutan: We die... for the glory of our race!... Long live... the Rutan Empire!

The Invisible Enemy [15.2]

[edit]
(1 October to 22 October 1977)
The Doctor: Sometimes my brilliance astonishes even me.
Leela: There was a sort of glow all around you!
The Doctor: There was? Well, a kind of St. Elmo's fire; it happens at sea.
Leela: St. Elmo's?
The Doctor: Yes, it causes a sort of halo effect around the masts of ships.
Leela: Halo?
The Doctor: Why do you keep repeating everything I say? You're not a parrot, are you?
Leela: Parrot?
The Doctor: [incredulous] Yes. A parrot's a bird that repeats things. Move over.
Leela: [sarcastic] Move over!
The Doctor: That's it!
[Bang! From inside the console]
Leela: I thought you said there was nothing wrong!
The Doctor: Well, there isn't anything wrong. Well, there isn't anything important wrong, but I've got to check, haven't I?
Leela: I can still feel it.
The Doctor: Come on, old thing. come on.
[Tendrils of energy leave the TARDIS console and enter the Doctor's eyes. He sways]
The Nucleus: Contact has been made.
[The Doctor collapses]
The Doctor: I said, 'I'm perfectly alright, thank you, Lalee'..
Leela: But my name is 'Leela'.
The Doctor: I know your name. "Leela"...
Leela: What happened?!
The Doctor: I must have had a bot of a shick...
[Finding a disgusting bit of dangling brain matter]
Leela: Eugh, what's that?
The Doctor: That is why my brain is so much superior to yours!
The Doctor: What do you know about brains, anyway?
Leela: All right, all right, don't get excited!
The Doctor: I'll get excited if I want to! It's my brain! I'll tell you something about brains-- do you want to know something?
Leela: Not much.
The Doctor: I'll tell you anyway. Someone once tried to build a machine as efficient as the brain. The only problem was, it would have had to be bigger than London-- do you remember London?-- and powered by the entire European grid. And that was just a human brain. Mine's much more complex.
The Doctor: [Slapping dangling bits of his brain material together in desperation] OW!
Leela: What did you do?
The Doctor: I think I told them my liver was disintegrating, I think.
The Doctor: [finding something strange in his brain] Who are you?
The Nucleus: I am the Nucleus.
The Doctor: You're trespassing, you know. Treading on my unconscious, affecting my metabol... Nucleus of what?
The Nucleus: The Nucleus of the Swarm.
The Doctor: Oh. Oh, I see. Why did you choose my brain?
The Nucleus: Because of your intelligence.
The Doctor: Oh well, I can understand that, but you realise you have no right-
The Nucleus: I have every right! It is the right of every creature across the universe to survive, multiply and perpetuate its species. How else does the predator exist? We are all predators, Doctor. We kill, we devour to live! Survival is all, you agree?
The Doctor: Oh yes, I do, I do. And on your argument - I have the perfect right to dispose of you.
Leela: Don't worry, Doctor. I found the answer: knife them in the neck!
The Doctor: Hahahaha! That was a good idea of mine, K-9, to blow it up!
K-9: Affirmative!
Leela: What do you mean, it was a good idea of yours? It was my idea!
The Doctor: What was?
Leela: To blow it up!
The Doctor: Then you should be feeling very happy.

Image of the Fendahl [15.3]

[edit]
(29 October - 19 November 1977)
[The TARDIS is being pulled into a 'relative continuum displacement zone']
Leela: What will happen?
The Doctor: I wish I knew.
Leela: Can we get free?
The Doctor: That depends on this misunderstood, unmanagable old machine!
The Doctor: Good morning, ladies. Now, which one of you has the time scanner? Hmmm? You know, I don't think these cows know anything about the time scanner.
The Doctor: Ah. A parastatic magnetometer. How very quaint!
The Doctor: [About humans] Your ancestors have a talent for self-destruction, but it borders on genius!
Ted Moss: You both must've escaped from somewhere, didn't you!
The Doctor: Frequently!
Leela: There's a guard... I shall kill him!
The Doctor: No.
Leela: Why not?
The Doctor: You'll upset the dog.
The Doctor: [Taps bone on a table, then sniffs it] Ah! Twelfth century!
The Doctor: [To a skull] Awww! Would you like a jelly baby? No, I don't suppose you would. Alas. Poor skull.
The Doctor: I love fruitcake!
Leela: He came armed and silent.
The Doctor: You must have been sent by providence.
Ted Moss: No, I was sent by the council to cut the verges.
Leela: Your council should choose its warriors more carefully.
The Doctor: There are four thousand million people here on your planet, and if I'm right, within a year, there will just be one left alive. Just one.
Adam Colby: What are you exactly, some sort of wandering Armageddon pedlar?
Adam Colby: Are you saying that about twelve million years ago, on a nameless planet which no longer exists, evolution went up a blind alley? Natural selection turned back on itself, and a creature evolved which prospered by absorbing the energy wavelengths of life itself? It ate life, all life, including that of its own kind?
The Doctor: Yes. In other words, the Fendahl. Then the Time Lords decided to destroy the entire planet, and hid the fact from posterity. They're not supposed to do that sort of thing, you know.
Mrs Tyler: How do ye know so much?
The Doctor: I read a lot.

The Sun Makers [15.4]

[edit]
(26 November - 17 December 1977)
K-9: Check, Master.
The Doctor: What?
K-9: "Machine mind" computes mate in six moves.
The Doctor: Rubbish!
Leela: Doctor!
The Doctor: Leela, keep still!
Leela: But Doctor--
The Doctor: And shut up, I'm trying to concentrate.
K-9: Your move, Master.
The Doctor: I know it’s my move, don’t flash your eyes at me.
K-9: Wrong square.
The Doctor: What?
K-9: Your king, Master. Wrong square.
The Doctor: Really, are you sure?
K-9: Affirmative.
Leela: Doctor, can I speak now?
The Doctor: What? All right, if you must. What is it?
Leela: Well, the column has stopped moving.
The Doctor: So?
Leela: It is not important?
The Doctor: WHAT?! We might have gone right through the time spiral, why didn’t you tell me?
Leela: I tried to, but you wouldn’t let me.
The Doctor: You didn’t!
Leela: I did!
The Doctor: You didn’t!
Leela: I did!
The Doctor: You didn’t!
Leela: I did!
Leela: Perhaps everyone runs from the "taxman?"
Leela: These "taxes"; they are a sacrifice to the Gods?
The Doctor: Taxes are much more painful.
The Doctor: Leela, I think you and I should take a-- a W-A-L-K.
Leela: A W-A-L-K...?
The Doctor: Wuh-Ah-Ll-K!
K-9: Walk, mistress.
Leela: I know!
K-9: Ready, master.
The Doctor: No no no, you're not coming. You stay here.
K-9: Entreat, master!
The Doctor: No!
K-9: I'll be good!
The Doctor: NO!
The Doctor: Are we interrupting something?
Cordo: What did you say, citizen?
The Doctor: Somehow I have the impression you're thinking of killing yourself.
Cordo: It's the taxes.
The Doctor: Hmm?
Cordo: It's the taxes, I can't pay the taxes!
The Doctor: Oh, the taxes! My dear old thing, all you need is a wily accountant! Would you care for a Jelly baby?
Leela: We're looking for the doctor, have you seen him?
Bashim: You're his friends?
Cordo:Look! Jelly Babies!
Leela: Jelly Babies! You have seen him! Where is he?

Underworld [15.5]

[edit]
(7 January - 28 January 1978)
The Oracle: There are no gods but me! Have I not created myself? Do I not rule? Am I not all-powerful?
The Doctor: Well, yes, here you are, but nowhere else — you're just another machine with megalomania, heh, another insane object! Another self-aggrandizing artifact! You're nothing! Nothing but a mass of superheated junk with delusions of grandeur!

The Invasion of Time [15.6]

[edit]
(4 February - 11 March 1978)
Gomer: Undue haste is one thing, vulgar bad manners another. I normally take the oath to consider an induction, let alone assemble one.
Savar: Unsettled times, eh, Gomer? Though still the time will throw up the man.
Gomer: They say with time, wisdom comes to a man. Aren't you due for regeneration?
Savar: I believe I have wisdom to fit my years.
Gomer: Just so, Lord Savar. Cyclic burst.
Savar: I beg your pardon?
Gomer: The answer may lie in the cyclic burst ratio.
Savar: A black star protects us. What is a cyclic burst ratio?
Gomer: A little study of mine, a hobby. You comprehend hobby?
Savar: I believe I've come across it, sir, but I fail to understand any significant meaning.
[Leela and Andred enter]
Gomer: That doesn't surprise me. I'm making a study of what I would term wavelength broadcast power transduction.
Savar: Really.
Gomer: Yes. You see, I've noticed lately, well, over the last decade or so, an enormous fluctuation in relative wavelength transduction over a particularly narrow band.
The Doctor: Even the sonic screwdriver won't get me out of this one!
The Doctor: Guard of honour? You're not fit to guard a jelly baby! Would you like a jelly baby?
Castellan: Is there anything else I can get you, sir?
The Doctor: Yes. A jelly baby. My right-hand pocket.
Castellan: What color would you prefer, sir?
The Doctor: Orange.
Castellan: There doesn't appear to be an orange one--
The Doctor: [Seizing Castellan by the arm] One grows tired of jelly babies, Castellan.
Castellan: Indeed one does, sir.
The Doctor: One grows tired of almost everything, Castellan.
Castellan: Indeed, sir.
The Doctor: Except power.
Rodan: I cannot interfere, only observe.
Leela: But what if they attacked you?
Rodan: Then they would be very stupid; nothing can get past the transduction barriers.
[Cut to the Doctor and K9 in the TARDIS]
The Doctor: K9, destroy the transduction barriers.
K9: Master. [moves forward]
The Doctor: [stops K9] Not yet.
The Doctor: Borusa! call a meeting of the council at once!
Borusa: But ex--
The Doctor: [losing his temper] AT ONCE! NO EXCUSES! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!
[Kelner and Borusa back out and the Doctor slams the door in their faces]
Andred: But you have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe!
The Doctor: Oh, I do talk to myself sometimes, yes...
Leela: Is it over?
The Doctor: Yes. [the outsiders cheer] It's been a long, hard road, but at last the future of Gallifrey is assured. [everyone stops cheering] What, what are you looking at? [turns around]
[Where the Vardans were now stand four squat aliens with round helmets. The leader draws his Rheon Carbine weapon]
The Doctor: Please don't fire that thing.
Stor: [walks forward] There is no advantage in killing, yet. Slavery is more efficient.
Leela: Do you know these things?
The Doctor: Sontaran troopers.
Stor: I am Commander Stor, of the Sontaran Special Space Service.
The Doctor: The SSSS. Isn't that carrying alliteration little too far?
[The Doctor, Leela and company are hiding in a corridor. A figure approaches]
The Doctor: A Sontaran.
Leela: What are these Sontarans?
The Doctor: A race devoted to perpetual war.
Leela: Then I shall kill him.
The Doctor: You don't know how.
Leela: Do you know?
The Doctor: Oh, yes.
Leela: Well, tell me.
The Doctor: Small vent at the back of the neck.
Leela: Is that all? [covers her mouth and calls in a deep voice] Over here!
[Her voice echoes down the corridor. The Sontaran turns to look behind him, and she throws her knife straight into his probic vent. The group run down to the body and Leela retrieves her weapon]
The Doctor: Oh, that was a prodigious throw!
Leela: Prodigious?
The Doctor: Well, it was an amazing throw.
Leela: Oh, it was nothing.
Stor: Unit groups three, five and seven, proceed immediately to level five. Expect the President and his bodyguard. Take him alive.
Kelner: My lord...
Stor: Do not--
Kelner: The president is--
Stor: SILENCE! [throws Kelner against the dais]
[The Sontarans are trying to break into the president's office]
The Doctor: That's not going to hold forever, Chancellor.
Borusa: A heavy, easily fusible, soft, malleable base metal such as lead is not the best defence against heat-intensive weaponry.
The Doctor: I agree.
Borusa: Fortunately, someone had the good sense to reinforce the structure with a titanium-based alloy.
The Doctor: [smiles] Your recipe?
Borusa: A suggestion of mine, yes.
The Doctor: I've kept you waiting, chancellor.
Borusa: I'm quite comfortable, thank you.
The Doctor: Good. [Borusa hands him his newspaper] I had nothing to do with this, I promise you. Chancellor, you know about the rod of Rassilon.
Borusa: Yes.
The Doctor: And you know about the sash of Rassilon.
Borusa: Yes.
The Doctor: And especially, you know about the great key.
Borusa: Yes.
The Doctor: Therefore, it would be very bad for us if you were to fall into the hands of the Sontarans. No breeding, you see.
Borusa: It's not just a question of breeding, surely?
The Doctor: Oh, but it is, it is, I assure you, chancellor, it is. They're a cloned species, you see. They can multiply at the rate of a million every four minutes. Shall we go?
Borusa: I think so.
The Doctor: Good.
[Doctor goes into the TARDIS]
Leela: Doctor?
The Doctor: Yes?!
Leela: I Will miss you!
[The Doctor smiles and closes the Tardis Door]
The Doctor: I'll Miss you too, savage
[The Doctor pulls out a box with the words "K9MII" written on the side and smiles at the camera, breaking the fourth wall.]

Season 16

[edit]

Season 16 consisted of one long story arc encompassing six separate, linked stories. This season is referred to by the umbrella title The Key to Time.

Note: Two different actress played the character of Romana in the series and are referred to as Romana I and Romana II. Romana I only appeared in Season 16; Romana II appeared in seasons 17 and 18, up to Warrior's Gate.

The Ribos Operation [16.1]

[edit]
(2 September - 23 September 1978)
The Doctor: Couldn't I just take K-9??
The White Guardian: K-9 is a mere machine.
The Doctor: [shouting] He's a very [his volume decreases] sensitive machine! [whispering] Sorry, sir.
Romana: My name is Romanadvoratrelundar. [This is the only time Romana's name is prounounced as RomanadvoratNelundar instead of its correct pronunciation]
The Doctor: [sitting beside K9] I'm so sorry about that, is there anything we can do?
The Doctor: A hole?! What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?!
The Doctor: I don't suppose you can make tea?
Romana I: Tea?
The Doctor: No, I don't suppose you can. They don't teach you anything useful at the Academy, do they?
The Doctor: Ground rules. Rule one: Always do what I say. Rule two: Stay close to me, and rule three: Let me do all the talking. Do I make that perfectly clear?
Romana I: Couldn't make it clearer.
The Doctor: Good. [walks away, then comes back]One more thing—-your name.
Romana I: What about my name?
The Doctor: It's too long. By the time I've called out, 'Look out'—what's your name?
Romana I: Romanadvoratrelundar.
The Doctor: By the time I've called that out, you could be dead! I'll call you Romana.
Romana I: I don't like Romana.
The Doctor: It's either Romana or Fred.
Romana I: All right, call me Fred!
The Doctor: Good. Come on, Romana!
The Doctor: Keep an eye on the sentry.
Romana I: Why?
The Doctor: Sleeping on duty is a serious offense. If anyone comes, you can wake him up.
Romana I: You do know that sarcasm's an adjustive stress reaction?
The Doctor: If you call that being nearly killed, you haven't lived yet.
Romana I: I do wish you'd stop treating me like a child, Doctor. I'm nearly a hundred and forty, you know.
The Doctor: Really? You're in wonderful condition.
The Doctor: [as he walks off-screen] The secret of survival is to always expect the unexpec--[gets caught in a trap and shouts]
K-9: [shoots someone with a laser who collapses shortly after] Most satisfactory.

The Pirate Planet [16.2]

[edit]
(30 September - 21 October 1978)
The Doctor: You're not doing very well, K9.
K9: Master?
The Doctor: No.
K9: Suggestion, Master.
The Doctor: What?
K9: Suggest you allow Mistress to make contact.
The Doctor: Nonsense! Making contact with an alien race is an immensely skilled and delicate operation. It calls for tact and experience- what would she know about it?
Romana I: [In background] Excuse me...
[Romana converses with citizen]
K9: She is prettier than you, Master.
The Doctor: Is she? What's that got to do with it?
[The Doctor takes the bag of Jelly Babies from Romana]
The Doctor: Where did you get those jelly babies?
Romana I: Same place you get them.
The Doctor: Where?
Romana I: [Smirking and holding back a laugh] Your pocket.
The Doctor: Good looks are no substitute for a sound character.
The Doctor: Extraordinary! The place is littered with them! Diamonds...Andromedan Bloodstones...gravel. [tosses a lump of rock behind him]
The Doctor: Has anybody seen a planet called Calufrax?
The Doctor: Excuse me, are you sure this planet's meant to be here?
Guard: [Takes telescope.] This is a forbidden object.
Romana I: Why?
Guard: That is a forbidden question. [Circles Romana.] You are a stranger?
Romana I: Well, yes.
Guard: Strangers are forbidden.
Romana I: I did come with the Doctor.
Guard: Who is-
Romana I: [Interrupts] Ah, now, don't tell me, Doctors are forbidden as well.
[Mentiads enter, look at the Doctor]
The Doctor: Hullo? Are you by any chance the Mentiads?
[Mentiads radiate psychic energy]
The Doctor: It's just that...you look like Mentiads to me...
Guard: [Escorts Romana to aircar.] Get in.
Romana I: I shall take that as an invitation. [Hands guard telescope] Thank you. [Climbs in] Will you drive? I assume you know where we're going.
The Doctor: It's an economic miracle! Of course it's wrong.
Kimus: Do you drive these things for a living?
The Doctor: No. I save planets, mostly.
The Captain: Take care, Doctor! Your manner only appeals to the homicidal side of my nature!
The Doctor: Well, I just put 1.795372 and 2.204628 together.
Romana I: And what does that mean?
The Doctor: [grinning wildly] Four!
The Doctor: A plank!?
The Captain: The theory is very simple. You walk along it. At the end you fall off. Drop 1000 feet. Dead.
The Doctor: You can't be serious!
Mr. Fibuli: Captain, sir.
The Captain: Speak, Mr. Fibuli.
Mr. Fibuli: The Psychic Interference Transmitter, sir; There seems to be something counter-jamming it.
The Captain: What!? We Dematerialize in three minutes! [into a loudspeaker] ALL GUARDS ON ALERT! SOMEONE IS USING A COUNTER-JAMMING FREQUENCY PROJECTOR! FIND IT AND DESTROY IT IMMEDIATELY!!!
Mr. Fibuli: Captain, do you suppose any of the guards know what a "Counter-Jamming Frequency Projector" looks like?
Pause
The Captain: [into the loudspeaker] DESTROY EVERYTHING!!!
Romana I: Newton? Who's Newton?
The Doctor: Old Isaac. Friend of mine on Earth. Discovered gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity, I had to give him a bit of a prod.
Romana I: What did you do?
The Doctor: Climbed up a tree.
Romana I: And?
The Doctor: Dropped an apple on his head.
Romana I: Ah, and so he discovered gravity?
The Doctor: No, no. He told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner.
Captain: The whole system is so perfectly aligned by the most exquisite exercise in gravitational geometry that every system is balanced out within itself. Which is why we can stand next to billions of tons of super- compressed matter and not even be aware of it. With each new planet I acquire, the forces are realigned but the system remains stable.
The Doctor: Then it's the most brilliant piece of astro-gravitational engineering I've ever seen. The concept is simply staggering... Pointless, but staggering.
Captain: I'm gratified that you appreciate it.
The Doctor [scornfully]: Appreciate it? Appreciate it! You commit mass destruction and murder on a scale that's almost inconceivable, and you ask me to appreciate it?! Just because you happen to have made a brilliantly-conceived toy out of the mummified remains of planets!
Captain: Devilstorms, Doctor... It is not a toy!
The Doctor [anguished]: Then what's it for?! Huh? What are you doing? What could possibly be worth all this?

The Stones of Blood [16.3]

[edit]
(28 October- 18 November 1978)
Romana I: K-9, what is tennis?
K-9: Real, lawn or table, mistress?
Romana I: [Beat] Never mind. Forget it.
K-9: Forget. Erase memory banks concerning tennis. [Whirrs] Memory erased.
The Doctor: If they should break through, run as if something very nasty were after you, because something very nasty will be after you.
The Doctor: Doesn't the blood upset you then?
Vivien Fay: Oh, it'll probably be just another sacrifice.
Romana I: I thought you told me Earth was civilized now.
Professor Amelia Rumford: It's getting exciting, isn't it?
Professor Rumford: I know you're under considerable strain, Doctor, but, please, keep a grip on yourself!
The Doctor: Nobody home but us Druids!
Leonard De Vries: His blood is still warm! I know what to do.
The Doctor: I hope that knife's been properly sterilized.
Leonard DeVries: Blasphemer!
The Doctor: No, no, you can catch all sorts of things from a dirty knife- lockjaw, tetanus, not to mention staphylococcal infections...
Martha: I won't be a party to this!
The Doctor: Good for you!
Romana I: What's that?
Vivien: A policeman's truncheon. Last year when she went to lecture in New York, she took it with her in case she got mugged.
Romana I: And did she get mugged?
Vivien: No. She got arrested for carrying an offensive weapon.
Professor Rumford: Doctor, did I understand you correctly? That thing is made of stone.
The Doctor: Yes and it's closing in on us fast.
Professor Rumford: But it's impossible.
The Doctor: No it isn't. We're standing still.
Professor Rumford: I meant, a silicon-based life form is unknown, unheard of, impossible.
The Doctor: Maybe it doesn't realize that.
Professor Rumford: I still don't understand about hyperspace.
The Doctor: Who does?
K-9: I do.
The Doctor:Oh, shut up, K9! It's all to do with interspatial geometry.
Professor Rumford: I never studied that.
The Doctor: I'm not surprised; They gave up teaching that some two thousand years ago, even on Gallifrey.
Professor Rumford: Doctor, may I ask you a personal question?
The Doctor: Well, I don't see how I can stop you asking.
Professor Rumford: Are you from outer space?
The Doctor: No.
Professor Rumford: Oh.
The Doctor: More from what you'd call 'Inner Time'.
Megara 2: The prisoner has been tried and sentenced in his absence. The sentence will be carried out.
Megara 1: The sentence is death. You are to be executed immediately.
Vivien: Oh, may I watch? You don't mind, do you, Doctor?
The Doctor: No, be my guest. I wouldn't want you to miss my execution.
The Doctor: Objection!
Megara 2: On what grounds?
The Doctor: How can there possibly be a sentence when there hasn't been a trial?
Megara 2: There has.
The Doctor: There has?
Megara 1: I defended you.
Megara 2: I was judge. You were found guilty.
The Doctor: But I wasn't there!
Megara 2: Immaterial. Your counsel was. He was most eloquent on your behalf.
Megara 1: You are a humanoid, and therefore quite incapable of appreciating the subtleties of the law.
Professor Rumford: Where's that Dunkirk spirit? Never say die!
K9: I never say die, but I cannot hold.
The Doctor: Now remember. Give it thirty seconds and then ‘pow!’
Professor Rumford: ‘Pow’?
The Doctor: Yes, ‘pow!’ Pow – pow’s a technical expression, Professor, it means all the microcircuits have been fused in one great ‘gyuh!’ of molten metal.
The Doctor: Hello. Did I short circuit?

The Androids of Tara [16.4]

[edit]
(25 November - 16 December 1978)
The Doctor: Would you mind not standing on my chest? My hat's on fire.
Romana I: Count, far be it from me to query this woman's competency as a doctor, but where I come from, you don't cut off a patient's head if you wish to cure their ankle!
The Doctor: Look, I don't like to say "I told you so", but I told you so.

(Count Grendel shows off an android duplicate of Romana)

Count Grendel: You see before you a complete killing machine. As beautiful as you and as deadly as the plague. If only she were real, I'd marry her!
Romana I: You deserve each other.
Count Grendel: Well, why so miserable? This should be the happiest day of your life. It will also be your last, so you'd better enjoy it.
The Doctor: If you don't stop burning my scarf, you're going to have to kill me!

The Power of Kroll [16.5]

[edit]
(23 December 1978 - 13 January 1979)
[Dugeen is trying to abort a missile launch that will kill all the natives of Delta Magna IV]
Thawn: Dugeen, you touch that switch and I'll shoot you where you stand.
Dugeen: Then kill me, but you're not going to kill the others!
[Dugeen hits the switch, but the countdown doesn't stop. Thawn shoots him dead anyway]
Thawn: You heard me warn him, Fenner!
Fenner: That was murder, that was cold-blooded murder!
Thawn: Look, the countdown! He hasn't aborted it, it hasn't stopped!
Fenner: You disconnected the cut-out... then you shot him for nothing. DIDN'T YOU?
Ranquin: Master, hear thy servant Ranquin! Great Kroll, defender and savior of the swamps, let not thy wrath fall upon thy true servants. Great One, we ask only that the dryfoots and their abominations be crushed by thy mighty power... [panicked] Master, it is thy servant!
[Kroll seizes Ranquin with its tentacle and swiftly devours him]
[The Doctor approaches Kroll]
The Doctor: Well, I've had a good life, can't complain. Nearly 760. Not a bad age.

The Armageddon Factor [16.6]

[edit]
(20 January - 24 February 1979)
The Marshal: I shall crush it like a rotten egg.
The Shadow: I too serve a Guardian. A Guardian equal and opposite in power to the one who sent you. The Black Guardian, he who walks in darkness! And you are in the Valley of the Shadow!
The Shadow: Once the Key is ours we shall set not two small planets, but the two halves of the entire cosmos at war, and their mutual destruction will be music in our ears! Unlike others, it is not power we seek, but destruction that we glory in.
The Doctor: I've stopped the universe. [Beat] Still, they'll never notice. Just imagine, somewhere someone's just slipped on a banana skin and he'll be wondering forever when he's going to hit the ground.
K-9: It is stimulating to communicate for once with something other than a limited and unpredictable organic intelligence.
K-9: Hostiles repulsed. Most satisfactory.
K-9: Such actions warrant immediate death, which I shall execute.
K-9: Essential restored to vertical position. Alternative is your obliteration.
Romana I: Well, if one has godlike powers, one ought to be able to use them, oughtn't one?
[Romana whistles.]
The Doctor: What's the matter?
Romana I: Look! Radiation levels you wouldn't believe!
The Doctor: Good heavens! You could fry eggs in the street.
Romana I: But that means...
The Doctor: What?
Romana I: There must be a huge nuclear war going on down there!
The Doctor: None at all, no.
Romana I: Well what else could it be?
The Doctor: I don't know. Probably someone throwing a huge breakfast party. Think po- Why do you always assume the worst?
Romana I: Because it usually happens.
The Doctor: Empirical poppycock! Where's your joy in life? Where's your optimism?
Romana I: It opted out.
K-9: Optimism: Belief that everything will work out well. Irrational, bordering on insane.
The Doctor: Oh, do shut up, K9. Listen, Romana, Whenever you go into a new situation, you must always believe the best until you find out exactly what the situation's all about. Then, believe the worst.
Romana I: Ah, but what happens if it turns out not to be the worst after all?
The Doctor: Don't be ridiculous. It always is.
Marshal: Now that you are here, you are the one!
The Doctor: I am. Am I?
Marshal: The one who will lead us to victory!
The Doctor: Oh! Good-o! As long as there's no personal risk involved, of course.
Marshal: To halt the hated Zeons in their tracks, wipe their presence from our skies, and free this land, this world, this Atrios...
The Doctor: (Interrupts) This Blessed Plot!
Marshal: Good! Good! ...this blessed plot from the terrors of war and the evils of pestilence!
The Doctor: Yes! ... No, I prefer the original.
The Shadow: I know you. And I know there is a want of patience in your nature.
The Doctor: Yes, fools rush in...
The Shadow: [Interrupts.] Exactly.
K-9: The war is over. The bombardment is over. The next step is obliteration.
The Doctor: For whom?
K-9: Everything.
Romana I: What have you done?
The Doctor: I don't know. K9, what have I done?
K-9: You have triggered primary alert function.
The Doctor: Blast!
K-9: Affirmative.
Romana I: I think Merak needs some medical attention.
The Doctor: Yes. Look, Astra, why don't you and Merak go back to Atrios via the transmat? He'll show you the way.
Princess Astra: I'd feel safer with you.
The Doctor: Well, I dare say, but we've got a few complicated things to do and Merak does need attention. I think the thing you should do is go back and show your people that you're free.
Merak: He's right, Astra.
The Doctor: Of course I'm right! Off you go, now. Hope to see you soon.
[To the Marshal.]
Atrian technician: There is only one ship left, Sir. Your escape- [Beat] Your command module, sir.
[Princess Astra while under the Shadow's control.]
Princess Astra: I'd stay and watch you die, but I haven't the time.
The Doctor: Well, here we are. We've tracked him to his lair.
Romana I: Yes, we've got him exactly where he wants us.
Drax: Blimey, it's a dog. Who's a little tin dog then?
K-9: Your silliness is noted.
The Doctor: Key to Time... I command... that you stay exactly where you are!
[He hits a control on the TARDIS console]
"White" Guardian: Doctor! You have fully activated all the TARDIS's defences.
The Doctor: We can't be too careful, can we? And it would be a terrible tragedy for the universe if it suddenly turned out that I was colour blind...
"White" Guardian: Doctor, release the key to me immediately!
The Doctor: ...unable to distinguish between the White Guardian and the Black Guardian.
Romana: Doctor, what do you mean?
The Doctor: LOOK!
[The Guardian shifts colour, revealing himself to be the Black Guardian]
The Doctor: Don't you see? The White Guardian would never have had such a callous disregard for human life.
Romana: Of course! Astra, the sixth segment; he would have dispersed it immediately.
The Black Guardian: Doctor, you shall die for this!
The Doctor: I think not! Remember, the Key to Time is still mine. Rage all you like!
The Black Guardian: I shall destroy you for this! I will disperse every particle of your being to the furthest reaches of eternity!
The Doctor: Oh, well, I wish I could stay and watch you try, but you know how it is. Places to go, people to see, things to do.
Romana: So where are we going?
The Doctor: Going? I don't know.
Romana: You have absolutely no sense of responsibility whatsoever!
The Doctor: What?
Romana: You're capricious, arrogant, self-opinionated, irrational, and you don't even know where we're going!
The Doctor: Exactly!

Season 17

[edit]

Destiny of the Daleks [17.1]

[edit]
(1 September - 22 September 1979)
The Doctor: [to K9] Say "aah."
K9: [in a very raspy voice] Aaaaaaahhhhhh...
The Doctor: Aaaah! Aaah, laryingitis! How can a robot catch laryngitis? What do you need it for? Romana!
[Romana II enters, in the form of Princess Astra]
The Doctor: Ah, Romana!, Romana, the dog's got laryngitis. [He turns to look at her] Sorry, I thought you were Romana. Have you seen her? [He does a doubletake, puts the machinery down and steps closer, speaking softly] What are you doing here?
Romana II: Regenerating. Do you like it?
The Doctor: Regenerating? [He circles Romana II, examining her] What are you talking about, regenerating? Only Time Lords regenerate! Look, it's awfully nice to see you, Princess Astra...
Romana II: Romana.
The Doctor: Romana! Ahhhhh...
K9: Aaaaaaahhhhhh...
The Doctor: Shut up, K9. What are you doing in that body?
Romana II: Regenerating. Do you like it?
The Doctor: But you can't wear that body!
Romana II: I thought it looked very nice on the princess.
The Doctor: But you can't go around wearing copies of bodies!
Romana II: Why not? We're not going back to Atrios, are we?
The Doctor: No.
Romana II: Well then.
The Doctor: Well, go try another one on. Go on.
Romana II: All right.
[Romana II enters wearing clothing exactly like to the Doctor's, including a hat which shades most of her face and covers her eyes]
Romana II: What about this, Doctor?
The Doctor: Exactly! Good heavens, that's exactly right! Ha! I never realized you had such a sense of style!
Romana II: I thought you said external appearances weren't important.
The Doctor: [smiling] Ah, but it's nice to get them right, though, isn't it?
Romana II: [attempting to mimic the Doctor's voice] Ah, but it's what's inside that counts.
The Doctor: Exactly! [pulls off Romana II's hat to reveal - Astra] Oh.
Romana II: Don't you like it? I think it'll do very nicely. If the arms are a bit long I can always take them in.
The Doctor: No, no, no! The arms are just fine.
The Doctor: [incredibly enthusiastically] Oh, look! Rocks!
[The Doctor holds his head, as if he has a headache]
Romana II: What is it?
The Doctor: I don't know. I have the feeling I've been here before.
Romana II: Déjà vu?
The Doctor:: [speaking French] Oui. [jumps down off of the rock he and Romana II are standing on, walks forward, and takes a look around, as if looking for something]
Romana II: Is there something you recognize?
The Doctor: Nothing tangible. [walks back over towards Romana II] Just have a sensation, a pervading air of- [cuts off mid-sentence and looks at Romana II] can you feel it too?
Romana II: Should we go back inside?
The Doctor: What?! And never know where I've been for the end of time? [starts to walk away and then turns around] I wouldn't sleep at night. Come on.
[The Doctor crouches down and starts picking up seemingly worthless rocks]
The Doctor: Interesting.
Romana II: Precious stones?
The Doctor: Very precious. In a geological sense more precious than diamonds. But I need a bigger bit- [looks further in front of him than stops mid-sentence, drops the rocks he's holding, and runs forward] Ah-ha! [picks up a larger piece of rock] Ha-ha! Ha-ha; I was right!
Romana II: How modest.
The Doctor: Well then see what you make of it. [holds out the rock to Romana II to examine]
Romana II: [runs her index finger along the rock and then licks said finger] A composite material. Gravel in a binding of possibly limestone and clay.
The Doctor: Limestone and clay making?
Romana II: Add water, cement.
The Doctor: Add gravel.
Romana II: [smugly] Concrete.
The Doctor: You know something? You've got all the makings of a first-class navvy. Concrete. Manufactured. [drops the rock]
The Doctor: (holding a bomb) I just drop it into this chair, and boom boom Davros.
Romana II: Sounds like drilling. What do you think it was?
The Doctor: Underworld dentist?
Romana II: Look!
[A shiny little spaceship is coming in to land. Very similar to the UFO's in UFO, actually]
The Doctor: Well, it's not a flying saucer. Recognize the type?
Romana II: Not specifically. Judging by design and size I'd say it had intergalactic range and time warp capability.
[The craft lands on its point]
The Doctor: Well, without reference to my Jane's Spacecraft of the Universe, I wouldn't dispute that.
Romana II: Don't go anywhere, will you?
The Doctor: [trapped under a large block] I'd rather hoped you'd resisted the temptation to say that.
The Doctor: Don't forget the arrow-
Romana II: [shouting from a ways away] "A" to the front!
The Doctor: The conditions existing on the planet Magla make it incapable of supporting any lifeform. Huh. Huh. Huh. He obviously doesn't realise the planet Magla's an eight thousand mile wide amoeba that has grown a crusty shell. I wonder what he does know? [Closes his book and looks up. There are three androgynous figures with dark skin, white spacesuits and white plaited hair pointing weapons at him] Good evening. You'll forgive me if I don't rise. It's, er...
The Doctor: [to a pursuing Dalek] If you're supposed to be the superior race of the universe, why don't you try climbing after us?
Romana II: [when asked how many hearts she has] One for casual, one for best.
Tyssan: What are we looking for?
The Doctor: The same thing the Daleks are.
Tyssan: And what's that?
The Doctor: I'll tell you when I find out.
Movellan: So that's what the Daleks are looking for. Their creator.
Davros: So, the long darkness has ended. An eternity of waiting is over. The resurrection has come, as I always knew it would. Now, where are my Daleks? [turns and sees the Doctor] Doctor!
The Doctor: Davros! You don't look a day older, and I'd hoped you were dead.
Davros: Dead? I do not die! Mark this moment, Doctor. In this history of the universe, this moment is unique. Davros lives!
The Doctor: Yes, well, I can see your long rest hasn't done anything to cure your megalomania. Have a jelly baby.
[Offers Davros a bag of jelly babies, which Davros promptly slaps out of his hand. Bang! The Doctor starts to push Davros away through the rubble]
Davros: Where are you taking me?
Davros: You will release me. You will return me to the Daleks
The Doctor: Shut up or I'll switch you off.
The Doctor: Now ss- back off!
The Doctor: I'm a very dangerous fellow when I don't know what I'm doing.
Dalek: LOSS OF CONTROL! LOSS OF CONTROL!
The Doctor: BYE-BYE! [Dalek explodes]
The Doctor: Have a go at this Davros: All elephants are pink, Nellie is an elephant, therefore Nellie is pink. Logical?
Davros: Perfectly.
The Doctor: You know what a human would say to that?
Tyssan: Elephants aren't pink.
Davros: Humans don't understand logic.
Romana II: They are not slaves to it, like the Daleks and the Movelans.
The Doctor: [whispering] Bye-bye, Davros! [Davros freezes]
Romana II: Not that switch.

City of Death [17.2]

[edit]
(29 September 1979 - 20 October 1979)
The Doctor: Duggan, why is it that every time I start to talk to someone, you knock them unconscious?
The Doctor: I say; what a wonderful butler, he's so violent!
The Countess Scarlioni: I was rather under the impression that it was Mr. Duggan who was following me.
The Doctor: Ah. Well, you're a beautiful woman, probably; and Duggan was trying to sum up the courage to ask you to dinner. Weren't you, Duggan?
The Countess Scarlioni: Who sent you?
The Doctor: Who sent me what?
[Duggan is annoyed by the incomprehensible technobabble the others are using.]
Duggan: Can anyone join in this conversation, or do you need a certificate?
The Doctor: Theodore Nikolai Kerensky, a scientist's job is to ask questions.
The Doctor: Leonardo? You remember the Mona Lisa? That dreadful woman with no eyebrows who wouldn't sit still?
The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's being tortured by someone with cold hands.
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: Doctor, how very nice to see you again. Seems like only 474 years since we last met.
The Doctor: Indeed, indeed, yes. I so much prefer the weather in the early part of the 16th century, don't you?
Romana II: Where are we going?
The Doctor: Are you speaking philosophically or geographically?
Romana II: Philosophically.
The Doctor: Then we're going to lunch.
Duggan: You know what I don't understand?
Romana II: I expect so.
The Doctor: I suppose the best way to find out where you come from is to find out where you're going, and then work backwards.
The Doctor: I wouldn't make a very good criminal, would I?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: No. [brandishes pistol] Good criminals don't get caught.
[The Doctor, Duggan and Romana have discovered six Mona Lisas walled up in a basement.]
The Doctor: May I ask where you got these?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: No.
The Doctor: Or how you knew they were here?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: No.
The Doctor: They've been bricked up a long time?
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: Yes.
The Doctor: I like concise answers!
Count Scarlioni/Scaroth: Good.
John Cleese: To me, one of the most curious things about this piece is its wonderful afunctionalism.
Eleanor: Yes, I see what you mean. Divorced from its function and seen purely as a piece of art, its structure of line and colour is curiously counterpointed by the redundant vestiges of its function.
John Cleese: And since it has no call to be here, the art lies in the fact that it is here.
[The Doctor unlocks the TARDIS and enters, followed by Romana and Duggan. The TARDIS dematerializes]
Eleanor: Exquisite. Absolutely exquisite.
Duggan: Where are we?
The Doctor: This will be the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
Duggan: We're standing on land!
Romana II: He's out of his depth.
[After Duggan has punched Scaroth unconscious]
The Doctor: Duggan. Duggan! I think that was possibly the most important punch in history.
[The Doctor tries to hail a cab with Romana.]
The Doctor:Is no one interested in history, hmmm?

The Creature From the Pit [17.3]

[edit]
(27 October - 17 November 1979)
The Doctor: I suppose you could say the yoke's on him if you were the sort of person who said that sort of thing which fortunately I'm not.
The Doctor: Stupid expression, 'stands to reason.' Why isn't it 'lie down to reason?' Much easier to reason lying down.
[The Doctor explains why he outdid Lady Adrasta's chief engineer.]
The Doctor: Well, to be fair I had a couple of gadgets he probably didn't, such as a teaspoon and an open mind.
Organon: [Introducing himself] Astrologer extraordinary. Seer to princes and emperors. The future foretold, the present explained, the past... apologised for.
Romana II: So Erato came here to offer you metal in exchange for chlorophyll. Of course!
The Doctor: Right. But who was the first person he met?
Organon: The person who held the monopoly of metal.
The Doctor: Right! And did she put the welfare of her struggling people above her own petty power? No... she tipped the ambassador into a pit and threw astrologers at him!

Nightmare of Eden [17.4]

[edit]
(24 November - 15 December 1979)
Romana: I don't think we should interfere.
The Doctor: Interfere? Of course we should interfere. Always do what you're best at, that's what I say.
The Doctor: Oh, my arms! Oh, my legs! Oh, my everything!
The Doctor: Look, have a jelly baby and don't forget to brush your teeth.
Tryst: I am helping to conserve endangered species.
The Doctor: By putting them in this machine?
Tryst: Yes.
The Doctor: Ah yes, of course. Just in the same way a jam maker conserves raspberries.
Romana: I've never met such idiots as those Customs men.
The Doctor: Idiots? They're worse than idiots, they're bureaucrats. They just exist to tangle people up, wrap them round and round in red tape until they can't move...

[The Doctor has pretended to be an insurance agent]

Rigg: Galactica went out of business 20 years ago [in 2096]
The Doctor: I wondered why I wasn't getting paid.

[When asked who he works for]

The Doctor:: Work for? I don't work for anyone. I'm just having fun.
Rigg: First a collision, then a dead navigator and now a... monster roaming about my ship. Well it's totally inexplicable.
The Doctor: Nothing's inexplicable.
Rigg: Then explain it.
The Doctor: "It's inexplicable!"

The Horns of Nimon [17.5]

[edit]
(22 December 1979 - 12 January 1980)
Romana II: Don't you think that's a bit dangerous?
The Doctor: No I don't. What could possibly go—
[The TARDIS jolts suddenly causing the Doctor to fall over]
The Doctor: —wrong. You know, I've simply got to stop saying that! Every single time I say "What could possibly go wrong" something goes—
[The TARDIS jolts again, knocking them both over]
The Doctor: It's uncanny! Isn't it?
The Doctor: Have you noticed how people's intellectual curiosity begins to decline the moment they start waving guns about?
Co-Pilot: Can you make it work?!
The Doctor: Yes. Oh yes, I can make it work. The question is, can we generate power soon enough to take the ship to escape velocity before we fall into a black hole with an event horizon.
Co-Pilot: What?
The Doctor: Shush. You just hold the gun steady. Don't tax your mind.
The Doctor: Why don't you give me the gun and then I can keep an eye on myself so I don't get up to any funny business.
The Doctor: Here, take this you might need it. [passes Romana his sonic screwdriver]
Romana II: No thank you. I've made my own.
The Doctor: Oh really? [takes Romana's sonic screwdriver] Really? You made this? Not bad, a bit basic though. Thank you! [passes Romana his sonic screwdriver] Now... [puts Romana's sonic screwdriver in his pocket]
Romana II: Uh, Doctor? [Taps the doctor's shoulder with his sonic screwdriver]
The Doctor: Yes?
[Romana passes the Doctor his sonic screwdriver back]
The Doctor: [Slightly annoyed he was caught swapping the screwdrivers] Oh, ha ha, so sorry.
[A planet is hurtling towards the TARDIS]
The Doctor: Estimated time to impact?
K-9: Master?
The Doctor: How long have we got?
K-9: Estimated time to impact-
The Doctor: That's what I said!
K-9: 89.4 seconds.
The Doctor: 89.4 seconds? No dematerialisation, no defence shields and only half power on full drive. K-9, I think we're going to find out what it's like to be a cricket ball. [to the TARDIS] Well, it's been a great, great partnership old girl.
K-9: Master.
The Doctor: Oh K-9, This is no time for emotional quibbling you two. You've been a good dog to me, K-9. [hangs a "first prize" ribbon on K-9] The best I ever had!
K-9: Thank you Master. Time to impact now 58 seconds dead.
The Doctor: I wish you wouldn't say things like that, K-9.
The Doctor: You know K-9, sometimes I think I'm wasted just rushing about the universe saving planets from destruction. With a talent like mine I might have been a great slow bowler.
The Doctor: Did you know that someone is building a black hole on your doorstep?
Soldeed: What?
The Doctor: Yes. I got stuck in it along with one of your spacecraft.
Nimon: Later you will be questioned, tortured and killed.
The Doctor: Well I hope you get it in the right order.
Soldeed: You! You meddlesome hussy! Do not touch the sacrifices!
Romana II: It's all over, Soldeed, you're finished.
Soldeed: No! The Nimon will fulfill his great promise, the Nimon be praised!
Romana II: The Nimon be praised? How many Nimons have you seen today?
Soldeed: Do not blaspheme the Nimon!
Romana II: How many?
Soldeed: Skonnoth will-
Romana II: How many Nimons?
Soldeed: Threeeee! I have seen three!
Romana II: Well I've just seen a whole lot more rampaging down the corridor. Face it Soldeed, you're being invaded!
Soldeed: [clutching his face] My dreams of conquest!! You have brought this calamity upon me!
Romana II: You've brought it on yourself!
Soldeed: You will die for your interference!
[Soldeed pulls lever]
Romana II: Stop him!
[Seth shoots him]
Soldeed: You fool! You are all doomed!! Doomed!!
The Doctor: K-9, is there a wall in front of us?
K-9: Negative, Master.
The Doctor: Then off you go then.

Shada [ø.ø]

[edit]
"Shada" was intended to be the final serial of Season 17, but was never completed due to a strike at the BBC during filming. It is also the title of the remake, with the Eighth Doctor, an audio play produced by Big Finish Productions and webcast on BBCi (2 May - 6 June 2003)
Chris: Actually Professor, could I just ask you, (indicates the TARDIS) where did you get that?
Professor Chronotis: Oh, I don't know. I think someone must have left it there when I was out.
Romana II: I told you you got the time wrong.
The Doctor: You're always saying that!
Romana II: And you're always getting the time wrong.
The Doctor: In the great days of Rassilon 5 great principles were laid down. Can you remember what they were, my children?
Romana II: It's just a Gallifreyan nursery book
The Doctor: I know, I know!
Romana II: I had it when I was a time-tot.
The Doctor: Professor, how many books did you bring back, for heaven's sake?
Professor Chronotis: Just the odd two or seven.
Romana II: Really, Doctor? A great criminal your hero?
The Doctor: Well, a criminal, yes, but he had such style, such flair, such-
Romana II: Panache!
The Doctor: (to the professor) I'll be back in two minutes. (to Romana) If I'm not back in two hours you and the professor lock yourselves in the TARDIS, send out an all-frequency alert and wait!
Professor Chronotis: I haven't got any books. That's to say, I've got plenty of books. What book would you like?
Skagra: I am Skagra. I want the book.
The Doctor: Well I'm the Doctor and you can't have it.
The Doctor: Well Mr. Skagra, or whatever it is you call yourself, you killed a Time Lord, a very old friend of mine. It's time you and I had a little chat!
The Doctor: Did you just see what I didn't see?
Professor Chronotis: Think of me as an anomaly within an impossibility, and get on with your tea.
Skagra: 'Take over the Universe'. How childish. Who could possibly want to take over the Universe?
The Doctor: Exactly! That's what I keep on trying to tell people. It's a troublesome place, difficult to administer, and as a piece of real estate it's worthless because by definition there'd be no one to sell it to.
This scene was not filmed, but exists in the script.
The Doctor: And twenty-thirdly, out there in the space time vortex, time and distance have no meaning, but here in this little, little room-
Romana II: Oh, get on with it, Doctor!
Skagra's Ship: Do you know the Doctor well? He is a wonderful, wonderful man! He has done the most extraordinary things to my circuitry!
Skagra: Release me!
Skagra's Ship: Truly wonderful! If you like I will tell you all about him!

Season 18

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The Leisure Hive [18.1]

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(30 August - 20 September 1980)
The Doctor: Don't cross your bridges before they're hatched.
Pangol: How did you get out?
The Doctor: Through a hole in the back.
Pangol: But there isn't one
The Doctor: [Holds up sonic screwdriver.] There is now!
Brock: His scarf killed Stimson.
The Doctor: Arrest the scarf then.

Meglos [18.2]

[edit]
(27 September - 18 October 1980}
The Doctor: First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
Brotadac: This Meglos can bend time.
Grugger: Right, in a loop.
Brotadac: Never heard of that, have you?
Grugger: Doesn't matter how it's done. The point is the Doctor doesn't get to Tigella!
Meglos: [Looking like the Doctor, albeit with a distorted voice] Oh, but he does, gentlemen. He does. [Speaking perfectly like the Doctor] We mustn't disappoint the Tigellans.
Meglos: Ten thousand years. Cretins. Morons. Half-wits.
The Doctor: Yes, they've not been very clever, have they, unlike us.
Meglos: They probably won't even hit Tigella.
The Doctor: Well, if my calculations are correct, they certainly won't.
Meglos: Your calculations?
The Doctor: I inverted your control setting. If he starts the countdown, he'll destroy himself, as well as you and me and, well, the whole planet, of course.

Full Circle [18.3]

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(25 October - 15 November 1980)
The Doctor: Why can't people be nice to one another, just for a change? I mean, I'm an alien and you don't want to drag me into a swamp, do you... You do?!

State of Decay [18.4]

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(22 November - 13 December 1980)
Aukon: There is power here such as you have never dreamed of. Can you not feel it?
[The Doctor wets a finger and holds it up as if checking for wind]
The Doctor: No.
K-9: Reconfigured in aggression mode, Master.
Aukon: Then die... that is the purpose of guards.

Warriors' Gate [18.5]

[edit]
(3 January - 24 January 1981)
Biroc: Others follow.
The Doctor: Others?
Biroc: Believe nothing they say. They're not Biroc's kind.
Romana: What are you?
Biroc: A shadow of my past and of your future.
The Doctor: Unless we work very closely together, we could be here until the crack of doom. Oh, what's the use? Can I have one of your pickles? I had a rushed lunch.
The Doctor: One good solid hope's worth a cart-load of certainties.
Adric: Will Romana be all right?
The Doctor: All right? She'll be superb!
The Doctor: You were the noblest Romana of them all!
Romana II: He's mad, the backblast backlash will bounce back and destroy everything.
[The Doctor goes to rescue Biroc's Race]
The Doctor: If I'm not back in thirteen and a half minutes, dematerialize.
Adric: Without you?!
Romana II: I am not letting you go out there alone!
The Doctor: That's an order. It's time you started accepting orders.
Romana II: It's long past time but how are you going to find it?
The Doctor: With my eyes
Romana II: Adric and I have seen it
The Doctor: Right. Come on then.
Adric: I'm coming too
Romana II: You are not, it's long past time you obeyed order. Now stay here, and if we're not back in thirteen and a half minutes, I want you to dematerialize. Is that understood?
The Doctor: I like that. You're improving.
Rorvik: Run Doctor! Scurry off back to your blue box. You're like all the rest: lizards when there's a man's work to be done. I'm sick of your kind. Faint-hearted, do-nothing, lily-livered deadweights. This is the end for all of you. I'm finally getting something done!

The Keeper of Traken [18.6]

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(31 January - 21 February 1981)
Adric: I don't see what the law of probability has to do with it.
The Doctor: No. [realizing what Adric said] What?! Adric, I've given you a privileged insight into the mystery of time, yes?
Adric: Yes.
The Doctor: Introduced you to adventures beyond imagining, yes?
Adric: Yes.
The Doctor: And you criticise my logic?
Adric: No, no, I'm just saying that a lot of the time you don't really make sense.
The Doctor: [pauses] Ah! Ah, you've noticed that, have you? Well, anybody can make sense.
The Doctor: Adric, if I knew everything that was going to happen, where would the fun be?
The Doctor: Traken Union, famous for its harmony. A whole empire held together by- by people being terribly nice to each other.
Adric: Well, that makes a change.
The Doctor: They say the atmosphere there was so full of goodness that evil just shrivelled up and died. Maybe that's why I never went there.
The Doctor: [about the Keeper disappearing] What do you make of it?
Adric: I don't know. But I do hope we know what we're doing.
The Doctor: Yes, so do I. [realizing what Adric just said] We?!
Adric: [points at the Doctor] You. [the Doctor smiles]
The Doctor: What can't be cured must be endured.
Adric: That's the silliest thing I ever heard.
The Doctor: Oh don't listen to me. I never do.
The Doctor: Oh by the way, by the way! Neeman, Neeman come here! [puts his arms around the guards] You chaps might be interested in this as well. Listen. Do you know that expression, uh, two heads are better than one, hm? [knocks the two guards' heads into Neeman's head, all three of which promptly collapse] Well I think that one head is better than three!
The Master: A new body, at last!
The Doctor: I used to know an ancient remedy for mad dogs. I must look it up sometime. Good library here, have you?

Logopolis [18.7]

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(28 February - 21 March 1981)
The Doctor: The Master's already at work on Logopolis. I'm going to stop him if it's the last thing I do.
Tegan : Well, there's certainly intelligent life at the end of this lot.
The Doctor: I've just dipped into the future. We must be prepared for the worst.
Nyssa : You killed my father.
The Master: But his body remains useful.
[The Fourth Doctor's last words.]
The Doctor: It's the end... but the moment has been prepared for... [points to a ghostly figure that walks forward]
Adric: The Watcher!
[The Watcher merges with the Doctor]
Nyssa: He was the Doctor all the time.
[The Fourth Doctor turns into the Watcher, then gains youthful features and short straight hair. The Fifth Doctor sits up]

Other Appearances

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Dimensions in Time

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(1993)

Fourth Doctor: Mayday! Mayday! This is an urgent message for all the Doctors. It's vitally important that you listen carefully to me for once. Our whole existence is being threatened by a renegade Time Lord known only as the Rani! She hates me. She even hates children! Two of my earlier selves have already been snared in her vicious trap. The grumpy one and the flautist, do you remember? She wants to put us out of action, lock us away in a dreary backwater of London's East End, trapped in a time-loop in perpetuity. Her evil is all around us! I can hear the heart beat of a killer. She's out there somewhere. We must be on our guard and we must stop her before she destroys all of my other selves! Oh... Oh... Good luck, my dears!

The Day of the Doctor

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(23 November 2013)

The Fourth Doctor does not actually speak in this sequence, but films clips of him appear. Many people mistakenly think that he says the line, "Commencing calculations," but that is the First Doctor, as voiced by John Guilor.

The General: "It's delusional. I mean... the calculations alone would take hundreds of years."
The Eleventh Doctor: "Oh, hundreds and hundreds..."
The Tenth Doctor: "...But don't worry, I started a very long time ago."
[Zoom in on a TARDIS racing to Gallifrey]
The First Doctor: "Calling the War Council of Gallifrey! This is the Doctor!"
[Joined by eight other TARDISes]
The Eleventh Doctor: "You might say I've been doing this all my lives."
The Second Doctor: "Good luck."
The Third Doctor: "Standing by."
The Second Doctor: "Ready."
The First Doctor: "Commencing calculations."
The Fifth Doctor: "Soon be there."
The Seventh Doctor: "Cross the boundaries that divide one universe from another."
The Sixth Doctor: "Just got to lock on to his coordinates."
The Ninth Doctor: "And for my next trick."
The General: "I didn't know when I was well off. All twelve of them!"
Andragor: "No, sir. All thirteen!"
[A new pair of grey eyebrows is seen]

Big Finish Audio Plays

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The Well-Mannered War

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(13 April 2015)
Chelonian: You will scream for mercy when you are placed in the Web of Death!
The Doctor: The Web of Death?
Chelonian: You know the ritual?
The Doctor: No, but I thought you might like it if I looked impressed!

Night of the Vashta Nerada

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(27 July 2017)
The Doctor: Are you alright?
Phelan: I'm... fine, thanks.
The Doctor: You don't have to be. Finding this all rather unpleasant is a natural human response. Don't let anyone bully you into saying any different.
The Doctor: Do you think you don’t get intelligent predators? What else do you think a human is?
Donnelly: Good grief -- murder victim feels pain. What a shock!
The Doctor: I won't tell you again, Donnelly...
Donnelly: Oh, come on--!
The Doctor: Oh, this skeleton was once a person, eh? With hopes and dreams. You recognize her name and yet her death means nothing to you.
Donnelly: I can mourn later.
The Doctor: Well, let's hope so. And let's also hope you don't follow her into oblivion.

Doctor of War: Genesis -- Dust Devil

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(13 April 2022)
The Doctor: What--? The stories are true?
Narvin: That depends on which stories you mean; almost no stories are.
The Doctor: Oh, stop wasting my time! I might not have much of it left.
Narvin: It wouldn't be a conventional regeneration. It may change your very nature. In some ways, perhaps, make you more than you are now.
The Doctor: "Make me more..." More... More than I have been? What? Wha-- What's that supposed to mean?! Let's just get on with it! I let my friends down. Harry and Sarah, dead! Dead! They lost because of the choices I made, I can't let all that be for nothing!
Narvin: So what would you have me do?
The Doctor: Make me a warrior?
Narvin: We already have. That drink you had. You were ready.
The Doctor: Ooh. Baden-Powell, ha! He-- He would be proud, he'd be in knots! Not an end, but a beginning! And the moment has been--!
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