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Hell's Kitchen/Season 4

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Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

Episode One [4.01]

[edit]
[The fifteen chefs enter Hell's Kitchen and meet Jean Philippe. Among them is Gordon in disguise.]
Jean Philippe: Welcome to Hell's Kitchen. You must be all very excited to meet Chef Gordon Ramsay. Actually, I'm quite good at doing an impression of him. "ONE SPAGHETTI! ONE RISOTTO! ONE CRAB! WHAT IS THIS?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! IT'S OVERCOOKED!!!" What about you? Can you do a little impression of Gordon?
Shayna: "WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE?!?"
Jean Philippe: How about you?
Jason Underwood: "Come on! Where is it?!"
Jean Philippe: I think you're going to have to work on it. What about you big guy?
Gordon: (steps up front) Jean Philippe, it's time to open Hell's Kitchen.
Bobby: (interview) Damn, he's doing it real good.
Gordon: Come here, you! You donkey!
Shayna: (interview) Wait a minute.
Gordon: STOP! Shut it down!
Louross: (interview) I know that voice.
Gordon: That's right. It's me. (removes his disguise. The chefs start screaming and hollering.)
Rosann: (interview) Oh, my God! I've been sitting next to the chef on the bus the whole fucking time!
Dominic: (interview) Whoo! Didn't know it was coming.
Gordon: Halt! Let's see if you guys can actually cook as well as you shout off on the bus. And you, the black Gordon Ramsay right?
Bobby: Yes sir. Four star general.
Gordon: Time to button it now and start cooking. Get in there and cook me your signature dishes. Let's go!
[Signature Dishes]
Gordon: Please God, let there be something on the next plate. [reveals Matt's signature dish] Whoa.
Matt Sigel: (interview) My signature dish is going to help me stand out, because I'm a true culinarian. I understand what Gordon's looking for.
Gordon: What is it?
Matt Sigel: I call it Exotic Tartare. Because it's with venison and diver scallops, with caviar and white chocolate and...
Gordon: Whoa stop. Let me get this right again. Either that or I'm just about to be Punk'd. Diver scallops chopped up, caviar and white chocolate. Do you smoke?
Matt Sigel: Cigarettes?
Gordon: No. Raw venison, raw quail egg, lime zest, olive oil, scallops, caviar and grated white chocolate. [takes a taste] Capers as well. [Matt nods]
[Gordon chews for about 15 seconds, before it causes him to vomit repeatedly in the bin.]
Gordon: [straightening up, wiping his mouth] That must be one of the worst combinations I've ever tasted in 21 years of cooking! Piss off will you?
Matt Sigel: (interview) I really don't understand what Chef Ramsay didn't like about the dish. I'm a little boggled on that.
Gordon: [picks up the platter and throws it into the bin] Unreal!
Narrator: With Rosann's dish receiving a good review from Chef Ramsay, things might be looking up.
Gordon: [reveals Petrozza's dish, which is a whole pumpkin] Oh, fuck me...
Narrator: ...Or are they?
Gordon: What in the fuck? Happy Halloween?
Petrozza: (interview) People ask me what my speciality is. But, I don't have a speciality; I can cook anything.
Gordon: What is that?
Petrozza: There's a Cornish hen inside, Chef.
Gordon: A Cornish hen? What'd you do to it to get it in there?
Petrozza: It got in there-- I got it in-- I got it in there.
Gordon: Holy shit. [removes the pumpkin] These are potatoes?
Petrozza: Yes, sir.
Gordon: In how much grease and fat and oil did you fry them?
Petrozza: There's some butter in there.
Gordon: [holding up a dripping pile of potatoes] Some butter in that?
Petrozza: That's a lot of butter.
Gordon: Well, just stop there. That goes in there. [scrapes the potatoes into the bin] And let's see what we got for trick-or-treat, shall we?
Petrozza: Okay.
Gordon: [removes the top of the pumpkin] Oh, my God... How do you get in there and eat it? I mean, am I missing a trick?
Petrozza: It's plated tableside.
Gordon: Oh.
Petrozza: It's- it's presented like that.
Gordon: Alright, off you go. Take your time. [Petrozza splits the pumpkin open, revealing a greasy blob of meat] Oh, my God. Okay, stop right there. I don't think I'll get through that, do you?
Petrozza: Okay, no.
Gordon: So, what's the, uh... dish called?
Petrozza: Hen in a pumpkin.
Gordon: Right now, looking at that mess, I'd like to stick your fucking head in there, you know that? [tastes the dish] It's dry.
Petrozza: Yeah, well...
Gordon: And the pumpkin's not even seasoned inside, it's just bland! You'd have more of a chance sticking a candle in there for Halloween to make me happy than you would sticking a hen in there. Fuck off.
Petrozza: (interview) Chef Ramsay said he was looking for something memorable. And I believe my dish was memorable.
Gordon: Bobby, what are the five entrées on the menu?
Bobby: Uh... we have... uh, I'm not sure.
[Gordon puts his hand over his face and Christina raises her hand]
Gordon: Matt, what are the five entrées?
Matt Sigel: Uh... there's uh... [Now Jen and Shayna also have their hands raised, just like Christina] I don't know chef.
Gordon: WHAT!? Petrozza! WHAT ARE THE ENTREÉS!?
Petrozza: Um... um...
Narrator: Chef Ramsay has just discovered one minor problem...
Ben Caylor: (interview) Nobody has a damn clue of what's going on!
Gordon: My God! Christina what are the five entrées?
Christina Machamer: We have a lamb en croute, salmon, john dory, beef fillet and poached and roasted chicken, sir.
Gordon: Thank you. (in a sigh of relief)
Christina Machamer: (smirks) (interview) The guys suck and they're going to go down in flames. That makes me happy!
Gordon: Guys, what is the matter? Already you look like a bunch of dicks and we haven't even fucking opened!
Matt Sigel: (interview) Knowing the menu is one thing, cooking the menu is another thing.
Gordon: Scallops, risotto, how long?
Jason: Right now, right now. [brings his risotto to the pass]
Gordon: Where's the scallops? [Dominic is still holding raw scallops in his hand] What's he done?
Scott Leibfried: They're like little burnt bits of something here.
Gordon: Oh, my God. The rice is overcooked.
Jason Underwood: Ow, that's hot!
Gordon: Hey you, come here! I've had enough! You can't even get two fucking dishes together, that's how shit you've been! I don't want any more embarrassments. I just wanna go with some food!!
Narrator: It's over an hour into the first dinner service, and Jason is about to get an invitation.
Gordon: Sit down and eat that! I want you to taste what you are trying to serve Hell's Kitchen. Sit down. Let me know when you're done. I'll get dessert!
Jason Underwood: (interview) I am horribly embarrassed at myself. I should've fucking stayed home.
Gordon: Stuff your face, y'bastard.
Gordon: [returning Sharon's eggs to the workstation] Who turn the eggs around like that? You served eggs like that?
Christina Machamer: (interview) Hello! I know it thinks that hard to fry an egg.
Gordon: [sees a fried egg with in disgust] I want them up! OH, COME ON!!! (to Rosann) Rosann, can you take control?
Rosann: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Vanessa, get the captain's badge on from your fucking arm will you?!
(Gives the badge to Rosann)
Gordon: Rosann, away!
Rosann: Okay ladies, come on let's get one scallop, one Caesar to this window, how long?
Vanessa Gunnell: (interview) I sat out as captain and its pretty bad.
Gordon: (to Dominic and his scallops) Touch that. Rubber. They're rubber! They're like a ball elastic bands. It's like a fucking golf ball. Golf ball!
Dominic: (interview) I couldn't sauté a scallop to save my ass tonight.
Gordon: Everything you cooked, you screwed. Have you ever cooked a scallop before?
Dominic: (interview) Whooooo! What a disaster!
Gordon: He hasn't got the tuna in! Why are you putting more scallops in there? And you're like this on the scallops. [mocks Dominic, holding out his right hand with a shocked face] Oh, fuck ME! SHIT! Bobby.
Bobby: Yes?
Gordon: I'm looking for someone to take control of this disgusting, embarrassing mess. He (Jason) doesn't give a fuck, he's (Dominic) dreaming, he's (Matt) standing there pissing his pants looking for his tartare, caviar and white chocolate crap! And he's (Louross) just running around like a toilet brush. IS ANYONE GOING TO TAKE CONTROL?!!
Dominic: Jump in there, Bobby. Jump in there, baby.
Bobby: I don't want to jump in! You guys, you guys got it over there! It's going to make so much confusion if I get in over there. You've got six sets of hands over there, you don't need eight sets. I don't want to join the chaos.
Craig: (interview) He's the captain. I mean, to just be like, "Yeah, uh, I don't want to get in this chaos," that's like saying "Fuck you, I quit!"
[After yet another failed attempt by the blue team to serve their first appetizers]
Scott Leibfried: (with some bland sauce) Yeah, that's bland. It looks terrible.
Gordon: (to the blue team) Come here! Taste that, all of you! [the men come over and start tasting the sauce] Run Dominic! You lazy fucker! And you put your fingers in there. Aw, my God! [takes a spoonful out, lets it drip] Look. Snot! [tosses the sauce away] Fuck off. [kicks the bins] USELESS FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT! You all know it's crap, not one of you got the balls to do anything about it!!
Jason Underwood: I didn't taste it yet.
Louross: Guys, it's just simple, just go man and come on. (to Ben) Just what are you doing? (interview) I didn't see anybody taste the food today, just getting into the groove out as "if like you're making love to the kitchen".
Louross: (to Ben) Caesar with a little bit of salt and pepper, that's all.
Gordon: (to Bobby and points him) Hey you, take the badge off and give the (Louross) little fucker over there! Thank God, someone has a pair of balls.
Gordon: (with a piece of chicken) Who cooked this chicken?
Corey: I did chef.
Gordon: Come here! Let's get all together now.
Rosann: Come on, ladies!
Gordon: You hold the chicken.
Rosann: Yes sir. Oh shit!
Gordon: Pass it around.
Corey: (interview) I thought either a pan was going to get thrown, glass was going to get shattered. Someone was getting hurt.
Gordon: Throw me the ball. [Sharon throws the chicken to Gordon] Let's fucking... play rounders! [throws the chicken hard against the oven]
Corey: (interview) It happened to be the chicken so, sorry to the chicken.
Gordon: It's rubber! Plastic - dry - shit!
[After the Blue team was finally going to serve the first appetizer, the customers have begun leaving. Jean-Philippe returns to the pass]
Gordon: What's the matter?
Jean-Philippe: They are leaving, chef.
Gordon: What?
[cuts to the leaving diners]
Jean-Philippe: It's going empty.
Gordon: (to both teams) STOP!! Look out there! Your customers have gone! Shut it down... clear down!

Episode Two [4.02]

[edit]
Gordon: Good morning!
Contestants: Good morning, chef.
Gordon: Bright and breezy!
Contestants: [groaning] Yes, chef.
Gordon: With everything you wasted last night on service, any restaurant would've gone out of business. You have to understand what you put in... the trash last night! Hey guys - hup! [garbage truck drives up] I've never seen so much fantastic produce wasted. Now. Every rubber chicken breast, every overcooked risotto, every rock hard potato you binned last night: get it out and put it back in the cylinders, move!

[Contestants head towards the garbage truck]

Jason Underwood: (interview) We're fucking playing through garbage this is going to suck!
[Gordon makes everyone dig into the garbage for all the food that the chefs wasted the night before.]
Gordon: You should be ashamed of yourselves. We're not talking about a couple of hundred dollars. We're in for thousands of dollars there, carelessly just put in the trash as if... no-one gives a fuck. You all better start giving a damn. Now go and get showered, and meet me in the kitchen; you stink!
Bobby: (interview) I've never been on a yacht before. The only boat I've gotten close to was The Love Boat on TV.
Gordon: Is it really too much to know the menu inside and out? Eat, drink, sleep, breathe it? I've got 3,000 dishes between my ears. Pathetic.
Gordon: Petrozza.
Petrozza: Yes?
Gordon: The menu. Five appetisers. What are they?
Petrozza: The appetizers... Caesar salad with... with fresh anchovies and seared uh... tuna, the um... the um... the um... [chuckles quietly]
Gordon: Stop. Stop! Do me a favour: get out.
Petrozza: Okay.
Gordon: Hey, look at me. Upstairs - hey! - and read that FUCKING menu! And listen, your station stands unmanned until you get your fucking shit together!
Petrozza: Okay.
Gordon: Hurry up! [Petrozza leaves the kitchen to memorize the menu] Is it really too much to know the menu inside and out? Eat, drink, sleep, breathe it? I've got 3,000 dishes between my ears. Pathetic.

[Gordon checks on tenderloins brought up by Petrozza]

Gordon: I's not even fucking hot! [calls Petrozza] Come here, Petrozza! Oh, here we fucking go. Touch that. You, touch that. (to Bobby) Please touch that. There you go. Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch.
Petrozza: It's rare. It's rare. It needs more fire.
Gordon: Aggggh, [throws spoon] SHIT! SHIT!

[Sharon brings her meat to the pass]

Gordon: (to Sharon) Where's the beef?
Sharon: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: (reads a ticket) Two salmon, one beef, one wellington. Unbelievable. Have you asked Christina?
Sharon: No, I didn't. I thought it was coming. She (Christina) just yelled that it was coming.
Gordon: You're not really a chef, aren't you? You're just a showgirl with a big feather coming out of your ass.
Gordon: You (Christina) and you (Sharon) are putting the kitchen to shit. Can you move and wake up a bit, please, yes?
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef!
Gordon: You're both pissing around like a pair of Barbie twins! [Sharon sticks her tongue out] Sharon, you're scaring me. You look like the female version of fucking Hannibal Lecter. Put your fucking tongue in and concentrate.
Sharon: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Hannibal!
[Matt's garnish pan catches fire]
Gordon: Watch, he's going to set this place on fire. What the fuck are you trying to do? Can't fucking win in here so you set the place on fire!
Matt Sigel: No, chef.
Gordon: Is that your little motive?
Matt Sigel: No, not at all chef.
Gordon: Yeah? I've never seen such fucking flames from gnocchi!
Matt Sigel: Sorry chef, won't happen again.
Jean-Philippe: (to a customer) It's raw? Okay, we'll do another one for you. (brings the dish to the pass)
Gordon: Oh, fuck off...
Jean-Philippe: That's Table 31, Chef. This is not cooked.
Gordon: Blue? Come here, you!! Oi, all of you, come here!! (to Sharon) You've stopped! (to Christina) You've given up! (to Matt) You're setting the place on fire! (to Jason) And you're sending me raw fish, that's fucking cold and fucking raw! [angrily throws the fish in the bin]
Jason Underwood: It's not mine.
Gordon: "It's not mine." How dare you. It's just come back from the table!!
Jason Underwood: Oh, okay.
Gordon: SHUT IT DOWN! (to Jean-Philippe) GET THE FUCKERS OUT!!

[Corey has nominated Christina and Jen for elimination and they have stepped forward for elimination]

Gordon: Christina, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen? Truthfully?
Christina Machamer: I should stay in Hell's Kitchen because I am intelligent chef. If I am being condescending to someone like Corey, she needs to come tell me, it's not something I'd do to her to be personal. I will get better and I will [starts crying] fight for it... that's why I should stay.
Gordon: Thank you. Jen, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Jen Gavin: It's unfortunate for you, that you don't get to see what goes on when we do prep chef. I'm a beast back there. I know what I'm doing, I work hard and I get the food out, [abridges Jen's absurdly long plea and shortened clips of some of her sentences] There's so much creativity and I really ask you to give me the opportunity chef because this is not the end for me, it's really not.
Gordon: Breathe!
Jen Gavin: I'm breathing chef... May I say one last thing?
Gordon: Oh fuck me!
Jen Gavin: Alright.
Gordon: Before I make my decision, there's something I'd like to say. This is one of the most important prizes ever! An executive chef's decision in my own restaurant. I am not just going to give this job to someone who I do not believe in. And there's someone here that I just don't believe in. [brief pause] So, the person leaving Hell's Kitchen is... Sharon!
Corey: (whispers) Fuck!
Gordon: Sharon clearly showed great attention to detail. Unfortunately, it wasn't for her cooking. It was for her makeup.

Episode Three [4.03]

[edit]
Narrator: As the men go off for a day of hard labor, Chef Ramsay and the women are off to the Sunset Strip. Little does Chef know...
Gordon: Okay. Off we go.
Narrator: One of Hell's Kitchen's former chefs is a regular at the Saddle Ranch.
[The mechanical bull turns around, and it reveals that it's Aaron on the mechanical bull]
Aaron Song: Yee-hah! Howdy, Chef Ramsay!
Gordon: Oh, my God.
Aaron Song: [goes over and hugs Gordon] Good to see you, Chef.
Gordon: I feel like crying. [pretends to cry] [flashback to season 3 where Aaron cried minutes before service]
Aaron Song: [laughs] Don't cry, Chef!
Narrator: While General Bobby feeds his troops in the Blue dining room, customers on the Red side are sending out distress signals.

[Cut to a table, where customers have spelled "S.O.S" with pieces of bread.]

Narrator: ...But the diners aren't the only ones in need of rescue.

[Cut to the Red kitchen, where Rosann's meat pan catches fire.]

Gordon: Oh, no. Oh, no, come on. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stand back! Stand back! Stand BACK!! [removes the meat from the pan] There's cooking, and there's fucking bonfire-- STAND BACK!!! Same shit, different day. [throws the pan in the sink, where the fire blows up, then dies.] This is fucking embarrassing!!
Rosann: (interview) My mind is racing, my heart is pounding...
Gordon: That's not a fucking sauté pan, that's a FURNACE! LOOK at the meat!!
Rosann: (interview) I blew four pieces of meat on there. It was just really horrible for me. I'm hoping I'm never going to have that happen again.
Gordon: It's SCORCHED! Cooking, my ass!
Ben Caylor: Salmon, medium.
Scott Leibfried: What's wrong with that salmon?
Ben Caylor: It's a little...
Scott Leibfried: WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ME IF IT'S BURNT?!
Ben Caylor: I sent up, you know, perfect medium salmon, and he sent it back. It had a little, uh, tiny burnt edge on the side. I mean, this is craziness.
Gordon: You can't cook a fucking salmon?
Ben Caylor: I can cook a salmon, chef, yes I can. Just a lot of pressure, different kitchen, different... different cooking techniques that I'm used to.
Gordon: Cook me a salmon, medium. Can you do that?
Ben Caylor: Yes, sir.
Gordon: "Different techniques?"
Narrator: As the Red team, once again, starts over on their entrées, Jason starts preparing his first desserts.
Jason Underwood: Is this the right way to do it? I hope it is. (interview) I don't have a clue on this earth what I'm doing. I hate desserts! They're tedious! Women can make desserts, you know? It ain't my thing. (to Louross) ...5 minutes for the crème brûlée, so I have two of those in.
Louross: Your crème brûlée's done already!
Jason Underwood: No, it's not. That's not cooked.
Louross: That's cooked!
Jason: Oh, Jesus Christ. (interview) The soufflés looked like muffins in a cup! I don't know what was wrong, because I don't know desserts, but I know they would not come up for nothing!
Gordon: Jason!
Jason: Yes?
Gordon: What's happening with the desserts?
Jason: The soufflés are not coming out at all; they're sticking!
Gordon: Come here a minute.
Jason: Okay. [goes over to Gordon] I cannot get them to come up, they're sticking really bad, they look like shit, they look like muffins.
Gordon: (in a fast tone) So, are we going to take it off the menu, are we going to do something constructive, are we going to do anything about it...
Jason: I'm, I'm trying something new. I'm going to take some sugar and rub it around the rim, and try to get that... and... that's what I'm trying to do right now.
Gordon: You're going to get some sugar and rub it around the rim?
Jason: Sugar-- no, no-- sugar, butter, and the cocoa powder, and see if that keeps them from sticking. :[Gordon goes over to the hotplate and repeatedly bangs his head on the counter]
Scott Leibfried: Salmon, chef.
Gordon: I've got a fucking headache. [checks the salmon, which is under-cooked] Ben! [pounds the counter] Salmon's raw in the middle!
Ben Caylor: Oh, maybe a little under.
Gordon: It's pink! Come here you, hey, stop! [calls the blue team) Come here! [starts distributing pieces of salmon to the members] That's what brought to me, taste. Taste, yeah, yeah? [pounds the workstation and kicks the bin] FUCK! SHIT!! What in the fuck is GOING ON? [kicks the bins] All of you come here! Get in there! [The Blue Team enter the Red Kitchen] Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me, gormless like, the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what do you say?
Ben Caylor: Different techniques.
Gordon: [throws the ticket at Ben] Fuck off! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What's so FUCKING COMPLICATED?! Christina, you made an effort to get all the appetizers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entrée. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear. The attitude was strong. Get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue, one from the red. NOW GET OUT!
Red and Blue team: Yes, chef.
[Bobby waves to some ladies that he served tableside]
Gordon: [calls out Bobby] Bob! Bob, come here. Yeah, I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong FUCKING TIME! GET OUT!!!
Bobby: Yes.
Gordon: Jackass waving at them! What do we have to wave about?! I DON'T CARE! GET OUT!!!

Episode Four [4.04]

[edit]
Narrator: 45 minutes into dinner service, blue diners are enjoying their appetizers.
Boy: The onion rings are good. I like them.
Narrator: The onion rings are getting positive reviews.
[Cut to a blue table where a boy is biting into a raw chicken wing cooked by Matt]
Narrator: The chicken however...
Gordon: (As Jean-Philippe returns the chicken.) Oh no. Oh no! Raw chicken?
Jean-Philippe: Yeah, raw chicken chef.
Gordon: Oh fucking hell. GENTLEMEN!! [slams the plates down] RAW CHICKEN! Matt! [kicks the bins] Pink and bloody! [throws the chicken in the bin] Come here you. Fucking prick!
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef.
Gordon: What the fuck are you doing?
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef. Sorry chef, it won't happen again.
Craig: (interview) Oh, my God. That's pretty major. If a kid is biting into a chicken wing that's raw, that's just fucking nasty.
Gordon: It's the tartare again with you isn't it?
[Flashback to day 1 where Matt's Exotic Tartare made Gordon vomit.']
Gordon: That's what it is, isn't it? That's what you can do?
Matt Sigel: No it's not chef. (interview) I was this close to his face and I didn't even blink at him.
Gordon: You can manage to fuck up raw food. WAKE UP!!
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef! (interview) I'm not going to break. I'm not here to break. He's not going to break me as a person.
Gordon: Hey, Craig! Four macaroni, one burger, one spaghetti of clam, and you've given me meatballs. One's called a fucking meatball, and one's called a clam. Spaghetti is clam, meatball is meatball. Where's the spaghetti of clams?
Craig: Right here, chef.
[Gordon eats a piece of spaghetti, and instantly spits it back out]
Gordon: Fuck! [kicks a bin] Raw!
Ben Caylor: Don't worry about it. Start over, fast.
Craig: I got it, I got it, I got it.
Gordon: So, how long?
[Craig tries to snatch a pair of tongs from Bobby]
Craig: I got it.
Bobby: [pulling the tongs back] These are mine.
Gordon: He doesn't even answer you, look. He doesn't even give you an answer.
Ben Caylor: Craig, answer the chef already!
Craig: TWO MINUTES!!
[After completing service, the red team comes in to help the blue team.]
Gordon: Jen, stand next to Chef Ben. Cook with him.
Ben Caylor: (interview) The thing is, it's embarrassing that chef called them in to come help.
Gordon: (to Ben) Look at the current situation. Now, go around and slap yourselves in the back now then.
Ben Caylor: I thought we were close chef, but I was wrong.
Gordon: You thought you were fucking close. Let's give a big round of applause to the captain who hit an iceberg on the fucking Titanic. Shayna.
Shayna: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Stay next to Chef Craig.
Shayna: What do you need?
Craig: I got it. I got it. I got it.
Shayna: (interview) "I got it. I got it. I got it."
Shayna: What do you need?
Craig: I got it.
Shayna: Don't tell me you got it. What do you need? (interview) Chill! Take the help. Even if it's from a girl.
Louross: Just push out the plates. Let's just do it and just end the day.
Gordon: Away now, one crab cake, one meatballs, one clam, one Caesar.
Louross: (to Craig) How long?
Gordon: How long for the fucking clam?
Shayna: You're burning, you're burning.
Gordon: He's not even giving me an answer.
Matt Sigel: Come on, answer him, please!
Gordon: He's making me feel fucking nervous!
Craig: [burns his hand] Fuck!
Gordon: Hello?!
Ben Caylor: Let's just go! Craig, Craig, the pasta's ready! Come on!
Gordon: How long for the fucking clam?
Craig: It's coming up right NOWWWW! Fucking listen! [angrily throws a pan to one side]
Gordon: Oh, my fucking god.
Gordon: Ben, what you've done and the ambitions, you do seriously surprise me.
Ben Caylor: Thank you, chef, I-I was hoping you'd see that. I mean, I give it all I've got. Gave you a hundred and ten.
Gordon: You surprise me to how shit you are!
Ben Caylor: Oh... thank you.
Gordon: I was expecting more. Hey, maybe you shouldn't have quit your fucking day job so early!
[Matt, Craig and Ben are nominated for elimination]
Gordon: All three of you should walk through that door.
Ben Caylor: I'm just going to keep giving you 100% chef. Every day.
Matt Sigel: I'm going to give you 125%.
Craig: I don't know percentages but just over that.
[After Chef Ramsay eliminates Craig from Hell's Kitchen]
Gordon: Thank you. Thank you for giving me one big fucking headache.
Gordon: I can teach someone how to cook but Craig was a bad cook with an even worse attitude. There was no hope for him.

Episode Five [4.05]

[edit]
Gordon: [checking Rosann's runny mashed potatoes] Oh come on! You, fucking... pisscream, what is that shit?
Rosann: Oh, I'm sorry.
Gordon: Fuck off, will you yeah? Is that how you're going to fucking respect these tables?
Rosann: Absolutely not chef.
Gordon: "Absolutely not chef."
Rosann: (interview) I started getting really fucking frustrated because I couldn't catch up and I was just falling behind. So it was only just getting more and more hectic for me.
Gordon: I don't know when you're going to think about waking up but hey, soon I would appreciate it madam.
Rosann: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Pathetic. This is what you're doing... [taps the spoon on the veg pan] Would you stop tapping and start concentrating?!
Rosann: Okay, my mistake, chef.
Gordon: Oh, fucking right it was your mistake! I need the mashed and the carrots now!
Rosann: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Mashed, carrots now! I can't go unless I've got the veg! What is going on Rosann? Oh my god, almighty. This is fucking meltdown. Out of the way please. [tastes the mashed potatoes] Oh, fucking hell! No salt. (to the servers) Go, go, go. Send the vegetables separate. She gets confused over a fucking vegetable [Rosann now brings the garnish to the pass] Fuck off will you yeah? FUCK OFF! They're gone! Get away! The lamb, wellington's already gone! Fuck all! [sits in fetal position] Rosann!
Rosann: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Not good enough!
Gordon: Hey guys. Louross, come here!
Louross: Chef!
Gordon: Come on, quickly, let's go! Touch that!
Louross: Still kind of lukewarm, chef.
Gordon: What did I request, temperature?
Louross: Medium well, chef.
Gordon: Get it back in the pan!
Louross: (interview) I got this, I have to do it. I can cook a steak, you know what I'm saying, but like, what the hell happened?
Gordon: The pan's burning, Louross, it's about to go up in flames. Charcoal beef. [Louross's meat pan emits a flame]. Do you honestly not know how to cook a steak medium well?
Louross: I know how to cook a steak, chef!
Gordon: So why aren't you doing it then, Louross?
Louross: (to himself) Come on babe, come on, fuck!
Gordon: Come on, Louross!
Louross: Plating up now chef, we're plating up!

[Louross brings his steak to the pass]

Scott Leibfried: (checks the steaks) Louross, What's up man? How come I can't see the nice beautiful inside of the beef?
Louross: I cut it in half then I just seared it to cook it off -
Scott Leibfried: No, see, the correct answer is you fucked it up, you didn't cook it right, and you're trying to get it by me. Do you have another one that I can see a nice pink center in?
Louross: Yes, chef! [to Petrozza] Do you have another one with a nice pink center in it?
Petrozza: Nah I.. No. That one won't work?
Louross: No, that one's not going to work.
Narrator: With no steaks ready to serve, Louross's situation is looking grim.
Louross: Fuckin' send me home, that's what they're going to do.
Narrator: But Petrozza has a plan.
Petrozza: [notices Gordon isn't in their kitchen] This is our chance.
Louross: It's not going to work, it's not going to work.
Petrozza: This is the only shot that we got. (interview) We had to show the base of the beef, so I had to slice a sliver off it. I want to get the fucking food out!
Louross: It's not... It's fucked up already if it shows up...

[Petrozza slices a thin part of the beef off to show the center]

Louross: (interview) He sliced that paper thin and I looked at him and I'm like are you serious? And he's like yeah! But damn, do you see the color on that steak? It was straight medium-well!
Petrozza: How's that one? Looks like it fucking works to me.
Scott Leibfried: Hey Louross, where's that beef?
Petrozza: Here's the beef. [brings up his altered beef]
Scott Leibfried: Much better.

Episode Six [4.06]

[edit]
[Christina brings up the risotto for the birthday girl for Melissa]
Christina Machamer: Two risotto in my hands, chef!
Gordon: [notices that there are no mushrooms in the risotto] Where are the mushrooms?
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef.
Gordon: No, where are the mushrooms? [places the pan back on the stove] Just look, they're white!
Christina Machamer: Putting them in right now. [takes the pan off the stove]
Gordon: Put the pan on the stove please!? Thank you, more mushrooms!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Come on, Christina!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef! [places the mushrooms in]
Gordon: There's not any mushrooms in there!
[Gordon notices Bobby is on the fish station which is Matt's station]
Gordon: Why's Bobby on the fish? What's going on there?
Matt Sigel: He's helping me out, we're working as a team.
Gordon: Well there's a big difference between helping him out and running the section!
Bobby: (interview) If we left it up to Matt. We would've done very very poorly so I caught it before it got to that point.
Gordon: Bobby, little fine for the team spirit helping them out, but did you listen to what I said? You're cooking it, he's (Matt) running around wiping your arse (to Matt) and the said thing about you, hey, you let him. If I was running this section and I was in Hell's Kitchen running the fish, give me this give me that, I'm staying here, I'm cooking!
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef.
Gordon: [whispers in Matt's ear] You can only hide for so long.
Matt Sigel: I'm not hiding, chef. I'm not hiding at all. I wasn't trying to hide, chef.
Gordon: You're doing a fucking good job of hiding. [Matt still tries to argue he wasn't] Look at me! I'VE MADE IT FUCKING CLEAR! Do you want to argue now or are you going to run your station?
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Every 16 year-old girl filled out these comment cards this evening. Gentlemen, out of all the customers you cooked for tonight, 98% of them said they'd come back. Brilliant! Ladies, on the other hand... 99% of your customers would come back. [the women cheer loudly, while the men look dismayed] Actually, tonight, there's no losing team. I can't seriously decide on a winning team on a difference of 1%.
Matt Sigel: Thank you, chef, for your generosity...
Gordon: Fuck the generosity, Matt. Both teams think of one individual, up for elimination, to leave Hell's Kitchen tonight. Now, piss off.
Matt Sigel: (interview) Chef Ramsay still wants two people chosen, and I'm going to be the one chosen for the blue team, and now I'm packing my bags.
Gordon: Matt, you've peaked, right?
Matt Sigel: No, chef, I haven't peaked yet.
Gordon: So why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Matt Sigel: Chef, I should stay in Hell's Kitchen because I was pushed and bullied off of my section tonight, while others on my team was hiding behind one person.
Gordon: Who pushed you off your section?
Matt Sigel: Bobby pushed me off of my section.
Gordon: You hid behind Bobby!
Matt Sigel: Ben hides behind Bobby! Not me.
Gordon: He took over your section!
Matt Sigel: He pushed me off my section, would not let me back on...
Gordon: Look at the size of you! There's 250 pounds in there. Louross's balls are bigger than yours!
Matt Sigel: I don't even have a voice in my kitchen, no one listens to me. I guarantee you, if you put me on the red team, you will see the failure in the blue team.
Gordon: You want to cook with the girls?
Matt Sigel: I have no shame in working with women in the kitchen chef.
Gordon: Un-fucking-real.

Episode Seven [4.07]

[edit]
[Before the final round of the blind taste test]
Gordon: Now, listen up. There's been some great rivalries out there. Yankees versus Red Sox.
Matt Sigel: Go Yankees!
Gordon: Tyson versus Holyfield, yes? Now, ladies and gentlemen, Matt versus Ben! Let's go.
Gordon: Ben! Quickly, here. [Ben slowly comes to the pass] Look at him, speedy, quickly, yeah? Just touch that, you can see how pink it is already. Fucking hell. I just want you to know what you're doing! None of you are communicating, no-one's going together, no-one's making eye contact, and no-one's reminding each other as a team!
Ben Caylor: Chef, I'm not used to the brigade system. It takes a little time to get adapted to it, and... that's it.
Gordon: Hey, do you know what? You are so fucking sad. Every time I ask you something, you give me the limpest excuse, you know that.
Ben Caylor: I'm just being honest with you.
Gordon: Yeah, I know that. I'm being fucking honest with you!
Matt Sigel: (to Jen) I love it. He's getting his ass kicked tonight.
Gordon: You're one of the most fucking saddest I've ever met in a fucking kitchen. "It takes a little time. I can't get used to this." Sounds like the fucking weirdo on Dr Phil!

[Gordon checks on langoustine brought up by Rosann]

Gordon: Oh, fucking hell, what is she doing? Put the pan down! Put it down! Put the pan down! Just fucking let go. Look, this-this is where you are. Just-just stop, this is where you are. Touch that. [Jen walks away] Hey, hey, just come here! Fucking come here! All of you. That's you as well, stroppy face. I don't know what it is with you, but you've given up and it fucking shows! Just the way you mope, the way you turn, and the fucking chips on your shoulder. I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Jen Gavin: (interview) Well, what the fuck? You don't want me say nothing so I'm not going to say shit! Now, that I'm not saying nothing, you're pissed off because I'm not saying nothing. I just can't win for losing!
Gordon: Touch that!
Rosann: It's shit.
Gordon: Yeah, it's shit. [throws the langoustine at Matt] Fucking right, it's shit! (to Matt) Did it hurt?
Matt Sigel: No, chef.
Gordon: Fucking sue me! Hey, look at me, hey. Because the response is fucking shocking. No-one gives a damn! Now I've got raw, stone-cold, fucking langoustine! Raw, stone-cold LANGOUSTINE!
Rosann: Yes, chef.
Gordon: How long for those two wellingtons?
Ben Caylor: I have that wellington, chef.
Gordon: Come here, you. What is going on? You've got one. Which one have you got?
Ben Caylor: I've got both of the wellingtons.
Gordon: Listen to me. Which one is ready?
[long pause]
Ben Caylor: There is nothing ready on that ticket yet.
Gordon: I'm aware you've GOT them! I need to tell the customers how fucking long.
Ben Caylor: Give me six minutes, please, chef.
Gordon: For a well-done wellington?
Ben Caylor: Yes, chef. (interview) Back at home, I ran kitchens for years and, you know, no problem. It's just that he comes over there and gets so fucking riled up, and then he gets you all fluster-fucked, and you don't know what you're doing! (to Petrozza) Petrozza, where's the mise-en-place for the lamb? Because I'm going to be three short.
Gordon: What?!
Petrozza: I'll wrap you some lamb, just as soon as I-
Gordon: (to Ben) Hey, come here you! SAY THAT AGAIN?! What time did that ticket come on?
Ben Caylor: 6:30.
Gordon: And what time is it now?
Ben Caylor: [looks at the wall clock] 8 o'clock.
Gordon: You're joking are you? We ran out of lamb? They've fired the fucking entrées, and you're telling me now?
Ben Caylor: I got it, chef. I'll take care of it.
Gordon: Ohhh, fucking hell...
Matt Sigel: Damn, Jen. And I was the problem over there? (interview) Ben wanted to use me as a scapegoat and put me out there. Said that I'm the weakest, and I hide behind everyone. The scapegoat's there, and you got no-one to blame. You can't cook, buddy!
Gordon: (to Ben) Can you fucking wake up? I'm coming to the end of it, now!
Gordon: [to Rosann] How long for that salmon?
Rosann: I need five minutes, Chef.
Gordon: [to Jen] Have you got the garnish for the salmon?
Jen Gavin: [with her back turned to Gordon] No, I didn't hear that either.
Gordon: Hey, you! Don't look at me when you talk to me!
Jen Gavin: I just said, "No!" I was putting my food in here, Chef.
Gordon: Hey, Jen, look at me. You're one fucking cocky lady, for someone who knows jack-shit, you know that?
Jen Gavin: Yes, Chef.
Gordon: You're so far up your own arse you don't know how fucking cocky you are.
Jen Gavin: (interview) He said I was cocky, but it's like, "What the fuck?" I-I combo every time I see him so how the fuck am I cocky?
Gordon: (to Jen and Rosann) That's there beef sliced, sourced, ready garnish there, salmon not ready. It's the story all the night you can't even get two fucking dishes together. That's how shit you've (Rosann and Jen) been. Yeah fuck, fuck off! Start the whole- (slams all the table's entrées onto Jen's station) FUCKING TABLE AGAIN!!! I've had enough. Okay? Not good enough for me. I've had ENOUGH! ENOUGH!
Jen Gavin: (interview) I-I can't please that man and for him to turn and throw a fucking full ass tray of food on my station like I'm some kind of dog. Don't nobody disrespect me like that! I'm getting tired of this shit right know, I really am!
Gordon: [to Jen] I've had enough. I can't tell you anything anymore, I can't even give you any directions, do you know why? You're undirectable, because it's like [mocks Jen] muh. Oh, really? [to Rosann] And you!
Rosann: Yes, Chef?
Gordon: Yeah?
Rosann: (interview) I don't know if I even deserve to stay because after tonight's performance, I know I let the chef down and I let myself down and I let my daughter down and that's what's hurting me the most right know. [tries to hold back tears and puts her hand over her face]
Gordon: [throws his pencil across the Red kitchen] Fuck it... pathetic bunch of fucking women... [leaves the Red kitchen]
[Jean-Philippe has just returned some food to the pass]
Gordon: What table is that?
Jean-Philippe: Uhm, blue side, chef. They're requested well done, and it's blood all over.
Gordon: Oh, fucking hell. Ohhh... (to Ben) There you go, there you go! (dumps the plates on Ben's station) Requested well done! Now look at it, then. Schmuck! JERK! (kicks the bins)
Ben Caylor: (interview) I have a lot of pride in myself and what I do. I'm just going to keep working and try and get the food out. That's all you can do.
Gordon: Anything to say? It's easy for you, that's your fucking problem! You've had it fucking easy, you're not even busting a gut.
Matt Sigel: (to the Red Team) Karma really bites you in the ass.
Gordon: All fucking night you've taken it easy! (Matt snickers) And listen, hey, look at me. STOP IT! Switch it off. You're not sending any more shit out of here, you've sent enough. Take it easy, you deserve it. You've had a hard night.
Ben Caylor: Are we done? Cause if we're not, I'm going to complete my station tonight, chef.
Gordon: SHUT IT DOWN! TURN IT OFF, YOU DICK! (Matt snickers again) STOP IT!
Petrozza: I'm gonna nominate myself, chef (Gordon and Matt give surprised looks) I can't pick any of these guys. They worked too hard and we came in today and worked our asses off, you know I tried to get the job the done. I just, I wasn't a star in that spot today.
Gordon: Your level of maturity stands out. You're the most gracious man on that team.
Petrozza: Thank you, chef.
Gordon: Petrozza.
Petrozza: Yes, chef.
Gordon: You're a gentleman.
Petrozza: Thanks, chef, that means a lot coming from you.

Episode Eight [4.08]

[edit]
Gordon: Okay, two beef, one wellington, one salmon.
Red team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: (points to Matt) You, come here you! Come here, round here! Look at those pieces of meat there. You've got one fucking large one, one medium one and one small one. What are you doing?
Christina Machamer: (interview) Matt's meat, all three were totally different. Are you serious?
Gordon: That's not good enough for me. So there you go. There's the daddy, there's the mummy, there's the fucking baby. Supposing that's the critic's table; one has that (large piece of beef) and another's got that (small piece of beef). [Picks up the small piece] Supposing that's medium-well. What happens?
Matt Sigel: It'll definitely shrink. (interview) The tenderloins really do shrink when they cook. I know better than that. I'm an idiot.
Gordon: Look at it! We're fucked! [pounds the counter] What did I say to you? I'm looking for everything.
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef. Got it, chef.
Gordon: Don't piss around now, yeah? That's bullshit!
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Hey, Mr Inconsistent. Wake up.
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef!

[Gordon checks on the salmon by Christina]

Gordon: Christina!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Salmon nice that side [flips it over with a spatula] turn it round you got a big dry overcooked piece of shit! Salmon how long?
Christina Machamer: I might need seven minutes.
Corey: (interview) Salmon is a very quick process, it only takes a couple of minutes.
Gordon: Christina can you do two things at once?
Christina Machamer: Urf, I've got two entrées & some scallops!
Gordon: If you can't control two things at once, you shouldn't be here.
Christina Machamer: No I-I!
Gordon: Shut up, will you? I really fucking mean it from the bottom of my heart!
Christina Machamer: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: Get your salmon on now!
Corey: One minute, Christina!
Christina Machamer: (interview) My timing was so wrong, it's like all a sudden I hit a train wreck
Gordon: Christina, I want it now!

[Christina brings up the salmon]

Gordon: Finally, you fucking lazy cow. Tonight's not your night is it!?
Christina Machamer: No, chef!
Christina Machamer: How are you doing Rosann?
Gordon: Where's the fucking garnish? [Rosann's garnish pan catches fire] That's burned! Hey madam, come here. Why are you burning veg?
Rosann: It was an accident chef.
Corey: (interview) Rosann just doesn't know how to organize herself. She gets herself worked up and burns garnishes...
Gordon: The beef is cooked and I still haven't got the garnish.
Corey: (interview)...and it screws up the rest of the team.
Gordon: You're not trustworthy on service! I'm nervous with you in the kitchen! We haven't got the garnish, Rosann!
Rosann: I'm have to tell you as a profession, this is the last order of gnocchi that I have and I'm going to be short on the last order.
Gordon: Oh...fucking shit.
Rosann: I'm sorry. Sorry, chef.
Gordon: I'm sorry you're here. Oh fucking hell. Carrot purée! How long?
Matt Sigel: Chef's calling for carrot purée.
Rosann: Carrot purée?
Gordon: Carrot purée!
Corey: Carrot purée, let's go.
Gordon: Where's the carrot purée? Where is it? Rosann!
Rosann: I'm running out of c...carrot purée.
Gordon: Oh, my God almighty. [goes over to the glass window and repeatedly bangs his head] Fuck me.
Rosann: How about some carrots chef? I'll give you baby carrots chef. Carrots or mash? I've got plenty of mash!
Narrator: While Chef Ramsay takes a moment to reflect...

[Matt is cutting his beef]

Gordon: Matt, from here, they look raw. THEY LOOK RAW!
Merrill Schinder: The Red kitchen is a disaster.
Matt Sigel: I got it, chef.
Gordon: Can you get the beef back in the fucking oven?!
Christina Machamer: (to Matt) How long, Matt?
Matt Sigel: I don't know anymore.
Christina Machamer: Come on, Matt! Bounce the fuck back!
Matt: I fucking hear it!
Corey: Let's go, Matt. Let's get that up.
Matt Sigel: Fuck!
Gordon: Beef, chicken, wellington. How long?
Matt Sigel: Coming to the pass. (brings his meat to the pass)
Gordon: [checking Matt's tenderloins] Oh, fuck. Here we go. Chef Matt, so there's the beef. THAT LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF SHIT! And you have the nerve to give me that with the critics out there. Hey, hey, fuck, you serve it. See what standards you got. Serve it!
Matt Sigel: No chef.
Gordon: Stand there and look at the customers.
Matt Sigel: Chef, I won't serve it.
Gordon: Hey come here, you as well, and you, you're just as bad. Hey, would you serve that to a critic?
Corey: Definitely not.
Gordon: Would you serve that to a critic? [Rosann shakes her head] Would you serve that to a critic?
Christina Machamer: No, chef.
Gordon: Would you serve that to a critic?
Matt Sigel: No chef.
Gordon: So, let's get this right, you wouldn't serve it. But you'd give it to me. [Throws the beef on the stove] GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! Upstairs! Fuck off will you?!

Episode Nine [4.09]

[edit]
Gordon: Louross! Raw steak!!
Louross: Ohhhhhh.
Gordon: And he goes like this, "Ohhhhhh." as if he's performing for the Oscars. If your fucking cooking was as good as your acting, you'd be talented, you dick!
Louross: (interview) It started off good and then all of the sudden, it fucking went downhill.
[Jean-Philippe returns again with filet mignon]
Gordon: What's the matter?
Jean-Philippe: Twenty-three. They're all medium rare.
Gordon: Oh fuck me! Ohhhhh. Louross! Come here, you! Let's go and you touch it well. Come on, touch! (touches the raw steak on his hand)
Jen Gavin: Blue, chef! BLUE!
Gordon: Yeah, it's raw. How could I get down on my knees. Yeah, it's fucking raw! Hey, look at me! Is that better? It's raw, you fucking idiot!
Jen Gavin: (interview) Louross is really just dropped the ball to horrific, horrendous, it's just horrible. He just could not handle meat station at all.
Gordon: Oh, fucking hell! Oh, come on.
Louross: (to himself) This is not good at all.
Gordon: [after Jean-Philippe returned again with filet mignon] Hey, you, you, you, come here! Look at that... look! Three of the have come back! You put your team into shit!
Louross: (interview) I hate the word "filet mignon" out, I do seriously. If I ever see another filet mignon, I will like throw it. Oh like, that someone's face.
Gordon: (to Louross) One more fucking steak returns to the kitchen, I'm closing your kitchen.
Narrator: With the threat of a shut down looming, Louross tries again on the meat station.
Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) What about the lady on [table] 41 with the filet mignon?
[cuts to table 41]
Jean-Philippe: They just left, chef.
Gordon: They just left? (calls out Louross) Hey, come here you! The customer's gone! Customer's fucking GONE. (tears the ticket then throws it to Louross) SHIT!! (kicks the bins)

[Sous-Chef Scott checks on a dessert brought up by Jen Gavin]

Scott Leibfried: It's not even cooked.
Gordon: Is it raw?
Scott Leibfried: Yeah.
Gordon: (to Jen) Watch, watch. There you go. (drains some liquid from the dessert and drops the dessert on the plate, breaking it) HEY--FUCK--OFF! Dumb Jen, turn your stove off!
Gordon: Louross was never short on energy. He was just short on cooking ability.

Episode Ten [4.10]

[edit]
Gordon: Fire a wellington, chicken, John Dory... [notices that Christina is cooking beef and chicken in the same pan] Uh, excuse me. [to Christina] Why are we cooking chicken and beef in the same pan?
Christina Machamer: Sorry chef there just wasn't a lot of room up here on these burners
Gordon: Supposedly someone doesn't like red meat!
Christina Machamer: (interview) I thought hot pan, plenty of room let's just cook it, it'll be cool.
Gordon: Get it out!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef. (interview) No, not cool!

[Gordon notices that Bobby is cooking salmon and scallops in the same pan]

Gordon: Bobby, they've (Christina) got beef and chicken in a pan. Now you've got salmon and scallops in the pan.
Bobby: Uh... I needed this time to fly (interview) Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I didn't really have an excuse.
Gordon: Hey, aren't you allergic to shellfish?
Bobby: Yeah. (interview) Chef was right! Woo!
Gordon: Oh, my God!
Gordon: [sees Matt eating] Why are you eating?
Matt Sigel: I'm not. I'm ta-
Gordon: COME HERE, YOU! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! I'm standing here struggling to get food out, I just watched you turn and eat!
Matt Sigel: I'm tasting my wellingtons, chef.
Gordon: (points to the customers) They're struggling and you're going to be the one fucking eating!
Christina Machamer: (interview) Matt, are you kidding me?
Gordon: Can I get some meats out here, please?
Matt Sigel: Yes, chef!
Narrator: With food finally leaving the kitchen, all Chef Ramsay wants...
Gordon: Why are we going with this table?
Matt Sigel: I'm coming up with it, chef! (brings his meat to the pass)
Narrator: ...is to keep it going.
[Gordon returns to the workstation with meat brought up by Matt]
Gordon: All of you, just fucking come here! You (Corey) as well with your burn! This is why I'm pissed off! Touch that. That's (wellington) fucking raw, and that's (beef) fucking what? Look at the colour of it. [Matt tries to retrieve the meat; Gordon knocks his hand away, gets a filet and wellington and angrily throws them in the bin] I'M ASKING YOU A QUESTION! SHIT!! I'm asking you the question, what is it?! It's overcooked!!
Corey: (interview) Matt seems to be like a 5-year old trapped in a 35-year old body. He doesn't know when to stop.
Matt Sigel: (gets a ticket at the pass) Sorry, chef.
Gordon: Oh, please. Don't touch me.
Matt Sigel: I have a migraine.
Gordon: Oh, can you fuck... I need the ticket here! (Matt leaves the pass, Gordon asks him) What's going next?
Matt Sigel: I'm busy getting yelled at.
Gordon: Fucking idiot, come here! What did you say then? You're busy getting what?
Matt Sigel: No, chef.
Gordon: You just gave me overcooked meat, overcooked fucking filet, overcooked. Now you're saying "I'm getting yelled at!"
Matt Sigel: (interview) It wasn't my fault when everyone else fell behind. I'm the big team player, I just don't team players around me.
Gordon: So don't start acting fucking smarmy with me while we're standing here in the shit, whereas you put me in the shit!
Matt Sigel: I can't fucking concentrate anymore.
Gordon: Salmon, John Dory, chicken, wellington, fillet mignon, rib eye!
Christina Machamer: Guys, how long now?
Matt Sigel: I don't know, I'm trying to work on my migraine.
Corey: (interview) Matt is someone who is excuses for himself. Absolute fucked in a headache you know, come on pull through it. He's a crybaby and he is definitely getting more insane by in a minute. (to Matt) Matt, how long on the fillet?
Matt Sigel: (to Corey) I'll tell you in a second. (holds a well cooked fillet mignon) three minutes.
Gordon: You guys are a fucking bunch of losers. (to Matt) What's going, Matt? What's going?
Matt Sigel: Two risottos, one fillet, one lamb and fish (salmon).
Christina Machamer: No!
Gordon: No, that's right. No. He's got migraine. Look! Hey, look at there, Scott!
Bobby: (laughs) Oh, fuck!
Matt Sigel: Not funny. I got a medical pills and I work through it.
Gordon: He's got a migraine. Come here in a minute and let me just tell you something, you have a migraine? (quietly, to Matt) I've had one ever since you walked in here. Why have you just forty-two minutes ago to completely forgot and give you a favour?
Matt Sigel: I have no feeling in my hands--
Gordon: No feeling in your hands? Yeah, come here. [takes hold of Matt's hand and walks him out of the kitchen, as if though Matt just peed his pants] Go upstairs the dorm and lie down, yes? Lie down.
Matt Sigel: But I want to work through it.
Gordon: [turns around] GET OUT!!! FUCKING GET OUT!!! (rekindles Matt) "I got a migraine?" Fuck off... fucking useless pieceashit...
Jen Gavin: (interview) Matt doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, everybody in this place here has a migraine right now my brain feels like it's about to explode but I don't give up in that kitchen
Gordon: FOUR MINUTES TO THE WINDOW TWO WELLINGTON, ONE FUCKING RIBEYE!! HURRY UP CHRISTINA!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef. [Sees a pan of rice] Oh, shit! [holds the rice and burns her hand] Who the fuck left this rice on here, guys?
Gordon: What is that?
Christina Machamer: It's burnt rice, chef.
Gordon: Who put that on there?
Christina Machamer: I don't know, chef.
Jen Gavin: Sorry. chef. I forgot about it.
Gordon: Fucking useless. [scrapes the burnt rice and throws it on a chopping board]
Christina Machamer: (interview) Jen burnt the rice. It was sitting on my station, all she has to do and say, "Hey, I'm putting this rice here."
Gordon: (quietly to Jen) Get out. Get out and get to the dorm. GET OUT! I'm not fucking around now. Get out!
Jen Gavin: (interview) I completely forgot that I put the rice on. I feel bad for that and that was my honest mistake.
Gordon: (to Christina) Hey, she put it on, you've been standing next to it for an hour, you take off your apron and fuck off as well!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef.
Petrozza: (interview) Oh, my God has this been a crazy night!
Gordon: Hey, all of you: Fuck yourselves. Get out! GET OUT!! [The remaining chefs leave the kitchen] Fuck off will you, yeah?! [rubbing his face] Oh... Shit!
Gordon: There once was a boy named Matt, whose kitchen performance fell flat. He was far from neat, miserable on meat, so I kicked him out and that's that.

Episode Twelve [4.12]

[edit]
[Christina brings carrot purée to the pass]
Gordon: Yeah, anything piping hot-- [grabs the handle of the pan and burns his hand] Ah, shit! Fuck! Ah shit! Don't stop and look stupid like some thick cow!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Aw, fuck! Fuck's sake! [cools his hand with cold water] Christina, the handle was over the flame. The fucking handle's over the stove, at least say something to somebody.
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Now, you're just acting like a fucking idiot. Yes?
Christina Machamer: No, chef.
Jen Gavin: (interview) Chef Ramsay was burning bad by Christina today. I know he was pissed!
Gordon: SHIT!
Jen Gavin: (interview) Ooh, Christina messing up over there for real.
Gordon: Fuck me!
Corey: Do not burn the chef!
Gordon: Fuck! Look at me and I'm fucking serious now. If a handle is over the fucking flame, say something, will you please, yes?
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef.
Gordon: One more time and you're fucking finished!
Christina Machamer: (interview) I just burned Chef Ramsay. That's really not cool. My mistake. Not going to happen again, trust me.
Gordon: Garnish, please!
Christina Machamer: Coming right now, chef. Coming, chef.
Gordon: [grabs the handle and burns his hand again] Aw, shit! Fucking hell! I'm getting fucked here again! Christina, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!
Jen Gavin: (interview) When Chef Ramsay burned himself twice, you can smell his skin all across the room burning. I'm like DAMN!!
Gordon: [cools his hand again] SHIT! Hey look, come here you look. [pours cold water over the handle and steam comes off] You're not even fucking telling me.
Christina Machamer: (interview) He poured water over the handle of the pot and it sizzled. It was really hot.
Gordon: That's unbearable now.
Christina Machamer: I was just like oh, shit!
Gordon: Now I think you're doing it on purpose to fucking wire me up. Hey, you're doing it really well because I'm getting fucked off! If a pan handle is over the fucking flame, say something! Will you please, yes?
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Wake up!
Christina Machamer: Yes, chef. (interview) (sighs)
Wikipedia
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