Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Season 1

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Seasons: 1 2 | Film

Mystic Mayhem[edit]

Mikey: Ha! You must be this rad to ride that ride.
Donnie: Well, based on our velocity and entry angle… I concur. We rad!
April: You guys crushed it. Gimme 5! [All leap out to join her.] Or 3.
Raph: Couldn’t have done it without you, April. Our girl with the plan.
Leo: And keys to the roof.
Mikey: Let’s go bungee dunk on the hoops at Rucker Park.
April: Game on! Just one thing first. [tosses 2 warning signs on ground] "Wet floor" and "dry pool". Our work is done here. Donnie, can I hitch a ride?
Donnie: No probbles.





Episode 2[edit]

Origami Tsunami[edit]

Raph: Really? That'll make us heroes? But it's only paper.
Leo: It's only paper? [laughing] I'm so sorry. Donnie, what did he just say? Did he say it's only paper?
Donnie: Yup.
Leo: Did he say it's only paper?
Donnie: Yes, he did.
Leo: Okay! That's what they all say. You think the road to hero town is paved with real crime? No! It's paved with the tears of the poor paper man. And who helps that guy? I'll tell you who: We are who.

Raph: What kind of weirdo steals paper?
Mikey: A dreamer! You look at a blank sheet and see nothing. They look at it and see possibilities– [Raph elbows him in the side, causing him to fall over]
Donnie: looking through his welding goggles] There's only one store they haven't hit yet, and it is right over there- Oh, convenient.
Raph: How 'bout we go stealth and make 'em wish they stole toilet paper?

Leo: [stealthily lands on the floor behind the bad guys with his brothers following suit] Okay, twerp and… [Foot Lieutenant turns around with a small gasp, Foot Brute looking super intimidating just by standing still] …Surprisingly big man. It's 4 against 2, so what say we call it a day, right?
Mikey: Whoa! They got footprints on their faces!
Raph: Uh, are those flames on their heads?
Donnie: Feels like a real hazard for a paper thief. [smirks]


Donnie's Gifts[edit]






Raph: Donnie, your gifts really brought out the best in us.
Leo: I’m funnier!
Mikey: I’m bouncier!
Raph: And I’m smash-ier! Your gifts are the stuff!
Donnie: But you were supposed to... Ah, forget it. You guys are great the way you are. Bring it in. Group hug.

Episode 3[edit]

War and Pizza[edit]


Donatello: "You are conversing with Donatello."
April: "Dude, I need your help!"
Donatello: "For you, anything. As long it does not involve bees, or spiders, or beach balls. Please not beach balls." (shakes his head slightly at the thought as the microwave bot crashes and explodes behind him)
April: "Can you fix Albearto? He broke before singing "Happy Birthday!"."




Newsworthy[edit]


Warren "Classic mistake. I may be small, but I’m also very—ah!"
[Leo smacks him and Warren goes flying.]
Leo "Huh?"
[Spinning, Leo swings his sword and slices Warren in two.]
Warren "Uhh."
Raph "Oh, what did you do?"
Leo "He was on my head! I panicked!"
Mikey "Is he gonna be okay?"
Raph "Is he gonna be okay?! He’s in two pieces."
Warren "You fools!"
[They all jump and scream, crowding behind Raph.]
Warren "You’ve unleashed my ultimate power. Now I can—"
Mikey "You can clone yourself?"
Warren "No, I regenerate. It’s an amazing power, but it’s incredibly painful."
Donnie "Fascinating. How long does the regeneration process take?"
Warren "Several days."



Episode 4[edit]

Repo Mantis[edit]




Michelangelo: "Maybe the bug-zapper button?"
Donatello: "Really? There's a bug-zapper but- WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY THAT FIRST?!"
Michelangelo: "It didn't have a 3000 after it!!"
Donatello: (uses one of claw arms to write "3000" under the Bug-Zapper button in a red marker) "There, happy?!"
Michelangelo: Why, thank you! (presses the button and effectively defeats the villain as our sci-fi loving dorks ride off into the sunset)
Donatello and Michelangelo: "HARD AS NAILS!" (high-threes as a jaguar growl sound effect goes off to show their fierceness and a mission accomplished)


Down with the Sickness[edit]


Mikey: Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! Splinter’s a zombie!
Donnie: Mikeyyy, zombies are interested in other people’s brains…
Raph: Rat flu. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill, boys.
Splinter: I feel terrible. Do I look terrible? Be honest.
Raph: You look great. Not horribly sick at all! …He’s horribly sick.
Donnie: URANIUM! We should absolutely ask for uranium! I mean—if I could finally get my hands on a little of that, we would be virtually unstopp—
Mikey: What about a brick oven for pizza?
Leo: Who’s gonna clean that? What we should ask for is matching unicorn onesies. Those are sick! Pun intended, and I nailed it.
Raph: Buckle up, boys. It’s about to get weird.
Donnie: Uh. Leo’s infected. Quarantine him.
Leo: Hey, you need me to get to the ‘Must Say Yes’ stage. We need to ask for the onesies—Whoa, it’s really hot. Is there a fire? There’s a fire here, right? The floor is made of lava?
Leo: I’m gonna hug you ‘til a smile comes out!
Raph: …ENOUGH! Raph’s got this because in big time moments, leaders make big time shots, and I’m big time.
Donnie: He must say yeeesssss. Make him say yeeesss.



Episode 5[edit]

The Fast and the Furriest[edit]

Donnie:Brethren, before you is my masterpiece, the culmination of my merit skills united in one glorious enterprise. Gentleman behold the-

Leo:Is it the drill? Is it that you made when we were fighting those silverfish.

Donnie:No. That’s still in beta.

Raph:Lame.

Donnie:But this is better. Much much better. I give you the...

Mikey:Is it even cooler, even bigger drill?

Donnie:No not a drill. This is a big surprise. Ta stinkin da!

Mikey: Yay! A sewer tube full of nothing! I’m so proud of you.

Donnie:What?Where did it go? I built an amazing vehicle out of the moon buggy? Who stole our Turtle Tank?


Donnie:Okay, we should find the Tank if we just track the perimeter of the shopping cart protocol’s limit.

Mikey: Whoa! Are we gonna need a protractor?

Donnie: No.

Mikey: An abacus?

Donnie: Literally never.

Mikey: A bag full of sausages!?

Donnie: Man, I don’t understand how your mind works. Hey look there the tank is.

Mikey:Whoa Donnie nice work.

Raph:She’s big and beautiful.

Leo:We are gonna get a lot of parking tickets in that thing. Guys? What’s dad doing down there?

Donnie:Oh I should have known he took it! You just can't trust adults these days. You leave the keys to your brainchild lying around and the next thing you know-

Raph:Meat Sweats. Oh that’s bad news. Hey we gotta move or dad’ll be toast to spread on toast. Let's go.

Meat Sweats:This clarified butter shampoo will make you feel scrumptious.

Splinter:Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I have a great idea for a chain of restaurants. You’re inside a giant wedge of cheese. And you have to eat your way out. I call it TGI Parmesan. Mu sons thinks it’s stupid.

Meat Sweats:Sons? What must they be chatty possums?

Splinter;No no no Turtles?

Meat Sweats:Turtles? Red blue orange purple?

Splinter:You know their names.

Meat sweats:Yes. And they’re right outside and looking delicious.

Splinter:What? We’ve got to bone out! They cannot find out I took the tank!

Meat sweats:What are you doing, you dotty old sod?

Splinter:You steer, I will pedal.

Raph:They’re getting away.

Donnie:Turtle tank time!


Meat Sweats:You took the tank from your son? Well, I've done some awful things in my life. But you, you’re an animal.

Splinter:I am not taking the fault for this.

Meat Sweats:But what could he do to you?

Splinter:Purple is a monster. He’ll fry my TV so I get is educated shows.

Donnie: I know you're in there. Dad, I can see your tail..... Oh Papa. If you surrender now, there shan't be any consequences.

Splinter: That is a lie, I taught him that one.

Raph: You’re with a very dangerous mutant Pops. Meat Sweats just wants to eat you!

Splinter: Your name is Meat Sweats?

Meat Sweats: Well actually it's Rupert.

Splinter: Oh, I would stay with Meat Sweats.


Leo:Mikey stop them

Mikey:Power whip jitsu!

Leo:Come on Meat Sweats, are you even trying? Come on portal come on..

Mikey:Come on Leo! My armpits are getting tired,

Raph:Let’s get em.

Meat Sweats:So long dinner! I'll just get takeaway.I’m done with you TGI parmesan. No meal is worth this!

[Splinter is thrown out.]

Splinter: Wait! Wait! Don't leave me!

[Meat Sweats is already gone. Donnie taps his leg on the ground and is angry.]

Splinter:[chuckles nervously]

Donnie:[enraged] You...you, reckless irresponsible. You are watching the science of chairs channel for a month young man! Followed by the Long Division Channel and the Memorizing Pi channel1 Spoiler alert, the 99th digit it

Mascot Melee[edit]


Woman:Your costume it’s great! You’re the turtle potamus meme right?

Raph:What meme? I mean yes meme. Yes, that meme. Which meme now? Yes! I’m that. There’s nothing else in the world I could possibly be.

Woman:You’re the best and cleanest times square mascot I ever seen. Here’s my baby. He loves memes.

Raph:Ma’am, you misplace your 5$ bill directly into my palm.

Leo:Roll with if bud. She’s paying you for the picture. Keep working the crowd and maybe you can get back all of our money you lost.

Raph:Allegedly lost.


Donnie:Metamorphosis, that took an unexpected left turn!

Roach:You thought you were the only mutants in New York?

Raph:Look, all we wanted was a little money to buy our pops a gift.

Roach:Boo hoo! Tell it to one of your teddy bears.

Raph:Don’t you dare make fun of Dr. Huggenstein, Captain Snuggles or Cheech!

Mikey:Let’s get our money back!

Leo:Lame!

Donnie:Spider shell engage!


Mikey:You give robot vampire cockroaches a bad name! Cowabunga!

Donnie:You’re ruining my childhood fantasy of the two of us fighting crime together in Uraniumvillie. You’ve left me no choice. But we’ll always have Times Square.

Leo:The creeps got our money!

Raph:Boom! Thank you times square!

Episode 6[edit]

Shell in a Cell[edit]

Raph:Go Ghostbear. He’s the greatest ever. He’s gonna win number 200 tonight!

Leo:Buddy come on. You know wrestling is bogus, they always pull their punches. Even I could beat Ghostbear. I call this one the Three Star Hurricane. You think ghostbear could match these moves?

Donnie:Oh here we go.

Mikey:Everytime.

Raph:You take that back Leo, No one beats Ghostbear.

Donnie:You know what? That’s fine, you have it.

Mikey:Thanks D.






Leo:I admit it Raph. Wrestling is moderately harder than I thought.

Raph:And I admit Ghostbear is a cheap champ who needs to get beat.

Ghostbear:Time for your final fall.

Raph:Think again bozo. It’s prime time.

Leo:Thre!

Raph:Star!

Both:hurricane!

Jessica:Feel the sting of the three star hurricane.

Mikey:I got this.

Donnie:One two.

Jesica:Three! And in another surprise twist the winner is me!

Raph:What that’s not fair.

Leo:But these out of left field twists make wrestling the best.

Minotaur Maze[edit]




Minotaur:That garbage that’s called pizza? Wait until you try mine!

Mikey:This pizza good~

Minotaur:Best you ever had?

Donnie:Really appreciate you letting us go, it was the right thing to do.

Leo:Who’s your champion guys? They’ll come around. First where do we go to get our picture taken for the wall of champions? Cause I wanna make sure they capture my good side.

Bug Buster[edit]

Mikey:Donnie I need an update.

Donnie:Okay one more time. Baron Draxum created ooze and put it in carrier bugs that bite people and turn ‘em into mutants. And for some reason it’s up to us to stop the whole situation.

Mikey: No I need an update for my phone.

Raph:Focus! The new hotel is full of oozesquitoes. We’re suited up, so let’s get down to business!






Draxum:My plan is coming to fruition. My bugs have hard work, turning humans into your kind.

Muninn:Oozequitoes. That’s what those turtles called them.

Huginn:It is so catchy.

Muninn:I know It just rolls off the tongue.

Draxum:Millions of people will be mutated. If I don’t get rid of the turtles, they’ll ruin everything. I must eliminate them myself.

Episode 8[edit]

The Longest Fight[edit]







Hypno! Part Deux![edit]







Episode 9[edit]

The Gumbus[edit]







Mrs. Cuddles[edit]







Episode 10[edit]

Stuck on You[edit]







Al Be Back[edit]







Episode 11[edit]

The Purple Jacket[edit]







Pizza Pit[edit]







Episode 12[edit]

Smart Lair[edit]







Hot Soup: The Game[edit]







The Evil League of Mutants[edit]







Episode 14[edit]

Late Fee[edit]







Bullhop[edit]







Episode 15[edit]

Mind Meld[edit]







Nothing But Truffle[edit]







Shadow of Evil[edit]







Episode 17[edit]

Portal Jacked![edit]







Warren & Hypno, Sitting in a Tree[edit]







Episode 18[edit]

Operation: Normal[edit]







Sparring Partner[edit]







Episode 19[edit]

You Got Served[edit]







How to Make Enemies and Bend People to Your Will[edit]







Episode 20[edit]

Mystic Library[edit]







The Purple Game[edit]







Episode 21[edit]

Man vs. Sewer[edit]

Raph: "Okay, Raph, you’re a little lost, a bit scared, and very alone. [He breathes heavily and then exhales, looking serene for half a second.] Time to panic! [He starts smashing things.] I’m alone and panicking, panicking, panicking, panicking! [He stops.] Oof, glad I kept that part under control. [He looks around at the extensive damage.] Whoopsie-daisy." [The sound of metal creaking makes him look over to a set of damaged pipes. Above them hangs a sign “Warning: Lower East Side Main Valve”. It bursts and water shoots out.]

Leo: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys hear that?"

[A tidal wave washes over them, carrying them down through another pipe even farther below ground. They smash against its sides as they plummet.]

All: "Aah! Oof! Ah!"

Donnie: "Ow, my brain! Ow, my other brain!"

[Raph is walking through the sewers and just barely hears the sound of their voices.]

Raph: "Huh, guys? Is that you? Where are you? Don’t lose it, Raph. Please."






The Mutant Menace[edit]







Episode 22[edit]

Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man[edit]







The Ancient Art of Ninja Hide and Seek[edit]







Episode 23[edit]

One Man's Junk[edit]







Snow Day[edit]







Episode 24[edit]

Cloak and Swaggart[edit]







Jupiter Jim Ahoy![edit]







Insane in the Mama Train[edit]







End Game[edit]







External links[edit]