Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)

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The series 2012

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is an American cartoon series by the Nickelodeon Animation Studio in the franchise of the same name, premiered on September 29, 2012 on Nickelodeon.

Season 1[edit]

Rise of The Turtles (Part I)[edit]

(Leonardo and Michelangelo are sparring.)
Michelangelo: Oh, yeah! Michelangelo is on the move! You don't know what to do! I'm here! I'm there! I could be anywhere! How do you stop what you can't even see?
Leonardo: (Hitting Michelangelo in the gut with the pommel of his Katana handle) Like that.
Michelangelo: (On the floor, breath knocked out of him) Good one, Leo.

(Raphael and Donatello are sparing.)
Raphael: (popping neck and shoulder joints) Alright, Donnie, put down the staff, and no one gets hurt.
Donatello: Uh, you said that last time, Raph, and then you hurt me.
Raphael: Yeah... but less than I would have.
Donatello: Yeah, right!
(Later, Raphael wins the spar, and snaps Donnie's staff in two.)
Donatello: Should have dropped the staff?
Raphael: (In confirmation) Should have dropped the staff.

(Raphael and Leonardo are about to spar.)
Leonardo: Onegai shimasu.
Raphael : Whatever you say.

(Spars have finished, Raphael won.)
Splinter: (Off-screen) Yame! You all did very well.
Raphael : But I did better.
Splinter: This is about self-improvement, Raphael, it is not about winning and losing.
Raphael : (Flushed with success) I know, sensei, but I won and they lost.
(Splinter pinches a painful pressure point on Raph's neck.)
Raphael: Aah, aah, aah! But, what's really important is that we all did our best. (crying)GOOD JOB, EVERYONE! (Splinter lets go.) Aah!
Splinter: Heh, heh, heh, heh.

(Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello are eating algae and worms in the kitchen.)
Michelangelo: There's a little more algae and worms left if anyone wants it. Anybody? Anybody?
Raphael: No thanks.
Leonardo: I'm good.
Donatello: All yours.
Michelangelo: Well then, I guess no one left room for cake!
Donatello: It is a cake!
Raphael: Made of algae...and worms.
Leonardo: What's the frosting made out of?
Michelangelo: You don't wanna know. Happy Mutation Day!
Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello: Happy Mutation Day!

(holding the empty, broken canister of mutagen and wrapping up his story)
Splinter: It was the mysterious substance in this canister that - in a way - gave birth to us all.
(Michelangelo snatches it out of his hands and hugs it)
Michelangelo: Mom!

Donatello: Guys, look at that! [Turtles see April walking with her dad] She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!
Raphael: Isn't she the only girl you've ever seen?
Donatello: My point still stands. [Snake's van pulls up and Kraang exit and attack April and Kirby] We gotta save 'em!
Leonardo: Splinter's instructions were very clear: we need to stay from people...and bathrooms!
Donatello: Well, I'm going.

(a canister of mutagen rolls out of Snake's van and stops by Michelangelo's feet)
Michelangelo: Mom?

Rise of The Turtles (Part II)[edit]

April: (Hammering on her and her father's cell door) Hey! You can't keep us in here like this! We know our rights!
Kirby O'Neil: I don't think they care about that, April.

Raphael-How does he managed to be right and still look stupid?

Michaelangelo-It's a gift.

Shredder: So, my old enemy is in New York. And training his own army! At last, I can finish what I started, so long ago. Prepare my jet. I'm going to visit an old friend.

Turtle Temper[edit]

Splinter: You are ninjas. You work in the shadows, in secret. This becomes difficult if there is proof of your existence in high definition!

Splinter: Anger is self-destructive.
Raphael: I always thought it was others-destructive.

Splinter: Again! Only this time... Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo, insult Raphael.
Donatello: [confused] Wait, insult... him?
Splinter: Yes.
Donatello: And he can't fight back?
Splinter: No.
Donatello: [smiling to Leo] I'm feeling good about this idea.

Raphael: I'll make it worth your while. (very angrily) I WON'T TAKE YOUR HEAD AND SMASH IT AGAINST THE--!!
Leonardo: Okay, okay, thank you Raphael. I will take over.

Raphael: You understand me, don't you, Spike? Chew on your leaf if you understand me.
[Spike chews on leaf]
Raphael: Yeah, I thought so.
Splinter: [Suddenly appearing behind him] I understand you, too.
Raphael: Seriously, you gotta knock or something!
Splinter: Let me tell you a story.
Raphael: Sensei, I'm not really in the mood for a story.
Splinter: Spike, chew on your leaf if you're in the mood for a story.
[Spike chews on leaf]
Splinter: Very well. When I was a young man, I fell in love with a woman.
Raphael: Oh! Is it that late already? [Tries to leave]
Splinter: Sit!
[Raph sits down and Splinter continues]
Splinter: Her name was Tang Shen. But I wasn't the only one in love with her. There was another man competing for her attention: Oroku Saki.
Raphael: Shredder.
Splinter: And one day, he insulted me in front of her. He called me many things. I felt I couldn't let his words go unanswered. I lost my temper, and overtime, our rivalry festered into hatred. Until Shredder sought to finish me, and I lost my beloved Tang Shen.
Raphael: But it wasn't your fault. Shredder insulted you. You had no choice!
Splinter: No choice? I could have chose to ignore him. I could have chose to let his words wash over me, like a river over stone. But no, it was I who turned his words into weapons. That was the choice I made. What choice will you make?

Raphael: Wow, I didn't think this guy couldn't get any uglier!

New Friend, Old Enemy[edit]

Raphael: Are you an idiot? Wait, let me rephrase that. You are an idiot!
Donatello: You can't show yourself to a human.
Michelangelo: Why not?
Donatello: Because they'll freak the heck out, that's why not.
Michelangelo: No they won't. I'm not so scary.
Raphael: You're an ugly, green mutant armed with ninja weapons.
Michelangelo: Look, this guy is gonna see that I'm just a regular cat-loving dude like him. We'll be best buds! This is gonna be awesome!
(jumps down, despite his brother's protests, to the owner of the cat's balcony)
Michelangelo: Hi! Here's your--
Cat Owner: Gah! Ugly, green mutant freak!
Michelangelo: But I got your cat!
Cat Owner: Help! He's got my cat!

(just fallen off the roof of the cat owner in an alley, surrounded by his brothers)
Michelangelo: Does someone wanna help me with this?

(he turns to reveal the cat still clawing at his shell)

Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo: No.

[Splinter tackles Leo to the ground with his staff]
Splinter: Was that fair?
Leonardo: (On the ground) No!
Splinter: Did I win?
Leonardo: I see your point.
(Splinter helps him up)
Splinter: Seek victory, not fairness.

I Think His Name is Baxter Stockman[edit]

Splinter: How many times have I told you not to skateboard in the lair?!
Michelangelo: None, Sensei.
Splinter: I shouldn't have to tell you!

Raphael: Ugh, This bites! I can't believe we're stuck down here for a whole week!
Donatello: Guys, guys! You wanna see what I made?
Raphael: This is how bored I am. Yes, Donnie, I do.

Raphael-You're really going to plug an advanced piece of military technology directly into Mikey's head? What if it melts his brain?

Donnie-It won't. And even if it did, who would know the difference?

(Mikey presses play, he starts screaming)



(Donnie presses stop)


Leonardo: Guys, we're ninjas. We move swiftly, and, here's the important part, silently. [Leonardo falls through a skylight, and fumbles over several crates and tables] BEEHIVE! [Smacks into a beehive, crashes through the wall, falls down the fire escape, and crashes on the ground. Car alarms go off.]
Raphael: That wasn't very silent, Leo!

Leonardo: Halt, villain!
Raphael: "Halt villain!"? When did we start talking like that?
Leonardo: We're heroes. That's how heroes talk.

Leo-How did he upgrade his armor so fast?

(They notice he has the T-pod)

Donnie-He has the T-pod?!

Mikey-Oh, uh, heh, I might of dropped that during the fight.

Donnie-You dropped it during the fight?! Nice going, Mikey!

Mikey-It's your fault!

Donnie-How is it my fault?!

Mikey-You know I can't be trusted with nice things!

(He does have a point)

Baxter-I'm not Baxter Stockman. I am.....the Baxman! No I am the Suitinator! Oh that's terrible. Captain...punch you....hard. Oh why is it so difficult.

Mikey-I kind of like the suitinator.

Baxter-You guys again!

Leo-Alright, Baxter. We don't want to hurt you.

Raph-We don't? Did I...miss a meeting?

Leo-Ah! Sensei!

Splinter-And where have you been?

Raph-No where?

Splinter-How did you get so hurt?

Leo-Oh that. We were um..


Donnie-By a...


(Splinter looks curious, Mikey's teeth fall out)

Donnie-(whispers) Hit by a bus?!

Mikey-(whispers) Well, what was I supposed to say? Meteor? Cow? Flying building?

Splinter: The first rule of being a ninja is do no harm. Unless you need to do harm, then do lots of harm!

Michelangelo: Excuse me, Sensei, but ninjas never had to go up against guys in armor.
[Sees painting.]
Michelangelo: Oh, I mean ninjas always had to go up against guys in armor.
Raphael: Nice save.
Leonardo: Sensei, what was their secret?
Splinter: They understood that you do not fight the armor, you fight the man inside.
[Turtles stare at Mikey who looks at them.]
Michelangelo: Why are we all looking at each other?


Donatello: How am I supposed to fight advanced alien technology WITH A STUPID STICK?!

[Splinter brings Donatello a new Bo-Staff]

Raphael: Look, Spike. Donnie got a new stick to break.
Donatello: With all due respect Sensei, I can't keep fighting alien technology with a six foot staff. I was hoping to upgrade my weapon.
Splinter: Hm... a seven foot staff, interesting...
Donatello: No, I meant using modern technology.
Splinter: Ah, a solar-powered staff.
Donatello: I'm serious, sensei.
Splinter: I know. And yes you may upgrade your weapon.
Donatello: That's totally unfair! You can't just... (realizes) Did you just say yes?

April: Hey, guys, check out this post I got.
Raphael: Hang on, April, I just have to destroy Lame-onardo.
[Raph beats Leo in a game and does a victory dance.]

[Metalhead walks toward the group]

Donatello/Metalhead: Take me to your leader.
Michaelangelo: [bored] Leo, it's for you.
Leonardo: What is this thing?
Donatello: Gentlemen, and Raphael, this is the future of ninjitsu.
Raphael: I always thought the future of ninjitsu would be taller.
Michaelangelo: He's so cute. [tickles Metalhead] Goochy-goochy-goo. [Metalhead activates all of his weapons]
Donatello: Heh. He doesn't like being tickled.

[The turtles meet with April, and MetalHead falls into a dumpster. He bangs around, and turns the dumpster on it's side. He bangs around some more, and finally gets out.]

Raphael: Still, it's stealhtier than the REAL Donatello.

(Metalhead and April are waiting on the roof for Leo, Raph, and Mikey)

Donatello/Metalhead: So... do you like heavy metal?

Donatello: [Watching April through the monitor] Look at her. She's so beautiful. On this monitor, she can't even tell I'm staring.
April: You DO know that's not muted, right?
Donatello/Metalhead: Ahh! Of course. I mean, if it was muted, you couldn't hear me joking. [Smacks his head and presses a button on the controls. Metalhead's megaphone activates] Man, I hope she bought that.
April: That's the megaphone.
Donatello/Metalhead: [With the megaphone] I KNOW! [Turns megaphone off] So, how do you think the fight's going?

(Metalhead bursts through the skylight just as Mikey, Raph, and Leo are cornered by the Kraang)

Leonardo: What are you doing? What is wrong with your arms?
Donatello/Metalhead: My hands aren't on my hips?
Leonardo: NO!
Donatello/Metalhead: (fixes Metalhead's arms) Sorry. Forgot to press 'B'.

[Donnie's new laser-guided, missile-launching bo-staff invention begins to shake uncontrollably]
Donatello: It's not supposed to do that! [To his brothers] RUUUUUUUN!
[Leo, Mikey, and Raph scream and run away as the episode ends.]

Monkey Brains[edit]

Leonardo: I bet that wasn't on his flow chart.
[Flips board over and examines flow chart.]
Leonardo: Whoa, it is. That is spooky...

April: Careful, Donnie, that's a dangerous mutant!
Donatello: That makes two of us!

Leo-Donnie, are you going to be okay?

Donnie-Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine.

Leo-In that case....

(Leo, Raph, and Mikey start laughing)

Raph-You got beaten up by a monkey? In front of your girlfriend?

Donnie-She's not my girlfriend. And that monkey was a vicious mutant.

Leo-Yeah. I'm sure he went bananas!

(They continue laughing)

Leo-Oh no no. He went ape!

(April comes in with an ice pack)

Raph-No more monkey puns.

April-Are you laughing at him because he's hurt?

Mikey-No. We were laughing at him because he was hurt by a....MONKEY!!!

(They start laughing again)

Never Say Xever[edit]

Donatello: Are you saying turtles are slow?
Michelangelo: That's a hurtful stereotype.
Leonardo: Trust us, April, we are better keeping a low profile. We figured out people treat us better if they don't know we exist.
April: Sorry, I'm just so excited to finally get you out of the sewer for a change.
Raphael: What are you talking about? We go out all the time.
April: Yeah, but tonight your gonna do something besides hitting people.
Raphael: (disappointed) Aww...

April: (talking to the turtles) Don't worry. You're going to love this noodle place a found.
Donatello: (nervous) And you're sure we'll be welcome?
April: Oh, yeah, Mister Murakami doesn't care what you look like. In fact, he won't even know what you look like. He's blind.
Michelangelo: Awesome! (get's slapped by Raphael) I mean, for us, obviously.

Raph-Man, could that fight have been more embaressing?

Mikey-Sure. We could've been hit in the face with pies.

Leonardo: No more "Mr. Nice Turtle".
Raphael: Yes! I never liked "Mr. Nice Turtle".

Bradford: (referring to the turtles) How could you be so sure they weren't bluffing?
Xever: I wasn't.

The Gauntlet (Enter Shredder)[edit]

April: I am being hunted... by a giant pigeon!
[Raphael laughs but pauses as he notices nobody is laughing.]
Raphael: I can't be the only one who's finds that funny.
Donatello: It's not funny Raph, there's a creature out there trying to hurt my April!
[April stares.]
Donatello: Our April... April.

April: He would have torn me into pieces... if he hadn't slammed into the glass.
[Raphael laughs and pauses again.]
Raphael: Really? Just me?

Leo-Alright, Mighty Mutants. Let's do this.

Raph-Mighty Mutants? What, Dancing Dorks was already taken?

April: (acting as bait) Here I am, walking around in the big city, all alone! Oh, I sure hope some pigeon man doesn't come out and attack me! That would be the last thing I would want!
Donatello: What are you doing?!
April: (normal voice) You wanted me to be bait, I'm bait!
Donatello: That's not how bait talks!
April: How do you know how bait talks?
Donatello: I know bait doesn't talk back.
Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo: (come out of hiding positions) Oooooooooooh!
Michelangelo: Oh, no, you di'n't.

Pete: I have a name you know!
Raphael: Yeah, we just don't care what it is.

Panic in the Sewers (Mojo Rising)[edit]

Leo-Alright, Raph. Cool off.

Mikey-(off screen) I CAN HELP WITH THAT!

(a water balloon hits Raph)

Mikey-Dr. Prankenstein strikes again.

(Raph comes up to him with fury in his eye)

Mikey-Dude, you should see your face right now. You look so mad.

Raph-Ok, Spike. You'll like this show. (cracks his knuckles) It's called "Does Mikey Bend that way?"

(Mikey screams)


Raphael: I can't believe I'm gonna say this (Imitates character from Space Heroes) "Get it together, captain, you're our leader, so act like one.
Leonardo: (Calms down) You're right Raph, that was the anxiety ray talking.
Raphael: What, that's it? You're not gonna slap yourself?
[Leo shrugs.]

Michelangelo: (being chased by Donnie after hitting him with a water balloon) You're next, Leo! Dr. Prankenstein makes house calls!

Mousers Attack![edit]

Leonardo: (To Donnie and Mikey) Look, guys, Raph and I may be better fighters, but you´re still an important part of this team.
Donatello: (annoyed) As important as you two?
[Leo and Raph look at each other.]
Leonardo: Humm... Very important. We shouldn't compare ourselves. It's like apples and oranges.
Raphael: (Muttering) Yeah, if apples were way better, which they are.
Donatello: So, the truth comes out.
Michelangelo: You guys think of us as some kind of... B Team!
Raphael: (To Mikey) Good one, Dr. Namenstein. We'll call you "The B Team"!
Michelangelo: Thanks... (realizes)... I mean, Hey!

Fishface: If I weren't stuck in here, I would have caught Splinter by now!
Dogpound: But you are stuck in there. [starts tapping the glass in Fishface's fish tank, creating vibrations that harm Fishface's hearing]
Fishface: No-no-no-no! Stop that! Stop that! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Ow! Stop it!
Dogpound: [laughs] I'm sure you'll have your chance to shine one of these days. Master Shredder might get hungry for sushi.
Fishface: Why don't you get in the water and say that!
Shredder: Enough, Xever! Bradford is right, you are useless to me this way! [to Dogpound] I'm counting on you, find me information I can use, or Xever won't be the only one missing his legs.

Raphael: Dexter Speckman!
Baxter Stockman: It's Baxter Stockman!
Raphael: I was close!

(Leo snatches up April's phone and points his katana at Baxter)
Baxter Stockman: How did you escape my MOUSERS?
Leonardo: We didn't.

It Came From The Depths[edit]

Joan Grody: Are malicious mutants menacing Manhattan?

Guy on TV: It was like part-man, part-reptile, and all-monster! It came outta nowhere and attacked me!
[Leo and Donnie stare at Raph.]
Raphael: It wasn't me!

Leonardo: We are NOT taking that monster home with us!
Michelangelo: He's not a monster! He's a giant, Kraang-crushing, mutant alligator monster! (Mikey realizes what he just said) I just said "monster", didn't I?
Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo: (While nodding) Yeah.
Michelangelo: Well, you know what I meant!
Raphael: I thought you meant "monster".
Donatello: Yeah.
Leonardo: Mm-hm

Splinter: Raphael, there is no monster more dangerous then a lack of compassion.
[Hears Leatherhead growl in his sleep.]
Splinter: My mistake...

Michelangelo: Guys, you're doing what everyone else does to us: judging him by his looks.
Donatello: And... the fact that he had me BY THE FACE, MIKEY!

Michelangelo: It's like you always say, Master Splinter; "the enemy of my enemy is my bro".
Splinter: That is not exactly what I said...

Donatello: But we're still chaining him up, right?
Splinter: Of course, I am compassionate, not insane.

Raphael: Sometimes it's good to be a turtle...
[Puts his head in shell when something comes flying at him. Leonardo and Donatello freak out until Raphael pops his head back out.]
Raphael: ...And sometimes it's good to be a short turtle...

(Talking to Leatherhead while the mutant crocodile is chained to one of the pillars in the lair)
Michelangelo: Maybe you just think you're a monster 'cause everyone keeps treating you like one.
Leatherhead: You are wise beyond your ears.
Michelangelo: Yeah. I get that a lot.

New Girl in Town[edit]

Michelangelo: NO! Not the pizza guy! Take Donnie!
Donatello: (slightly annoyed) Snakeweed's getting away!

Michelangelo: Leo's back! And he's been crying! (runs over and hugs him) Oh, you missed us!
Leonardo: (pushes him off) I got hit with blinding powder.
Michelangelo: Sure, you big softie.

(Leo and Raph are fighting)

Michelangelo: C'mon guys. Let's just hug this out.

Michelangelo: [smells pizza and regains consciousness] Mmm... Pepperoni.
Leonardo: Works everytime.

I, Monster[edit]

Michelangelo: I can think of a lot more better names than "The Rat King"! There's Ratzilla, the Verminator, Lord Rattington...
Leonardo: We get it, Mikey.

Leonardo: Mikey, poke him.
Michelangelo: No way! I'm not poking him! You poke him!
Leonardo: Ok, we'll put it to a vote.
Raphael; Donatello; and Leonardo: Mikey!
Michelangelo: I want a re-count!

The Alien Agenda[edit]

[Baxter Stockman is trying to build mechanical legs for Fishface]
Dogpound: Ah, the mermaid's growing legs!
Baxter Stockman: Please, settle down! Xever, get ready to walk!
[Fishface tries to walk but ends up running amok around the lair while Dogpound cracks up laughing]

Michelangelo: Alright, guys. What do you want? Omelet pizza, or Pizza omelet?
Raphael: What's the difference?
Michelangelo: Okay, you caught my bluff!

Leonardo: We're trapped!
Karai: No, you're trapped. I wonder what happens if I do this.

[She's about to press a button]

Raphael: No!
Leonardo: Don't do that!
Kraang Droid: Highly undesirable outcome!
Karai: Well, now I gotta.

Raphael: Nice try, Octo-Punk!
Michelangelo: No, no! Call him: Octo-Eyeball-jellybug! Eh... Let's just call him Justin.

"'Leonardo"': Thank you for understanding. I'm glad you're not mad.
"'Splinter"': Who says I'm not mad? (Splinter smashes Leo's foot with his staff.)
"'Leonardo"': Ow! Ooh! Ah! (Leo grabs his hurting foot.)

The Pulverizer[edit]

Donnie-Now I assigned everyone stations based on your basic skill sense. I can't drive, because my station is in the back. So...

Raph, Mikey, Leo-Driver! (pushes and shoves)

Donnie-(breaks up the fight) Leo drives.

Mikey and Raph-Why?

Donnie-He's least likely to hit something just for fun.

Raph and Mikey-True.

Pulverizer: [to Leo] You were all like, "Let's finish this!" [to Raph] And you were all like, "You're going down!" [to Mikey] And you were all like, "BEEES!" [to Donnie] And you... you were like the strong-silent type.

Michelangelo: Dude, Fishface is a little sensitive.
Leonardo: You're calling him "Fishface"?
Michelangelo: Well, it was either that or "Robocarp".

[Raph is bitten by Fishface]
Michelangelo: Raph, are you okay?
Raphael: Yeah, I'm fine. Fine... I love you.
Michelangelo: HE'S NOT FINE!

[over the phone]

Donatello: That's not possible! If he was bitten, then it's venom, not poison.
Michelangelo: Interesting, interesting. GET OVER HERE!!

Donatello: What are his symptoms?
Michelangelo: He keeps telling me I'm the smartest guy he knows.
Donatello: Okay, okay, he's delusional.

Donatello: Does he have any nausea?
Michelangelo: Nah, he doesn't have any... [Raph throws up] Ugh! Check that! What the... I knew you ate my pizza! YOU LIAR!

Raphael: Why are there fingers on my feet?
Donatello: Hang in there, buddy. You'll be okay. [injects the antidote into Raph]
Raphael: Thanks... magical unicorn.

(Fishface jumps in, Raph, Leo, and Mikey laugh at him)

Leo-Look. Sushi that delivers itself!


Donatello: I know I've seen this symbol; it's so familiar.
Michelangelo: The Olympics!
Donatello: No!
Michelangelo: I got it! The Olympics!
Donatello: Stop guessing! Obviously it's a crime signal.
Leonardo: But from where?
Michelangelo: The Olympics!
Donatello: QUIT IT!!

Donatello-It's beautiful.Uh, Scientifically speaking.

Raph-Well, if you love it so much, why don't you marry it?

Mikey-Do you, Donatello, take this portal to be your lawfully wedded....

Leo-Knock it off!

Cockroach Terminator[edit]

(on laptop, Raph screams like a girl)

Mikey-(laughs) That is awesome! Big tough Raph is scared of cockroaches.

Raph-I am not!

Mikey-Oh really? Let's go to the video (rewinds video) This is my favorite part right here. Donnie, can I get this on a T-shirt?

Raph-Wanna see my favorite part? (He flips Mikey over the counter)

Raph: None of this makes sense! Why is he so mad at us?! (Raph's recorded war cry repeated on tape) Aw crud.

Donnie: I don't think he's mad at us, I think he's mad at you.

Mikey: Wow, that must really stink for someone afraid of roaches.

Raph: Irony, got it, thanks. So are there any other surprises? (saw buzzing) HE HAS A SAW?!?!?! THE COCKROACH HAS A SAW!!!

(Leo slices saw off, squishy noises)

Leo: Not anymore.

Raph: I'm sorry I tried to smash you, okay? I'm sorry. I've learned a very important lesson. I'll never be cruel again, just leave me alone.

Mikey: On one condition:

Raph: Ah! Anything!

Mikey: Be good to Michelangelo.

Raph: (screams) What?

Mikey: Let him read your comics once in a while.

Raph: (Turns around) MIKEY! *kicks Mikey*

Mikey: So much for learning your lesson.

Baxter's Gambit[edit]

Fishface-Uh, please. After you.

Leo-No no. You go first. I insist.

Fishface-What's the matter? You don't trust me?

Raph-If you think we're turning our backs to you, your nuts.

Mikey-I know. We'll go like this. Turtle, turtle, jerk, turtle, turtle, jerk. Wait no. Jerk, turtle, jerk, jerk, nah too many jerks.

Mikey-Hey, Baxtin!

Baxter-It's Baxter.

Mikey-So I was wondering, what made you so interested in a career of super villainy?

Baxter-Well, since you won't be around to read my autobiography, I'll tell you. I was a frail, and delicately sensitive young child.

Dogpound-Well, there's a surprise.

Baxter-NO! You were supposed to destroy each other, not work together! No matter. You made it through my maze alive. Now it's time for.....

Mikey-The bonus round?

Baxter-Yes. The bonus round.....OF DOOM!!!!! Kneel before the fury of my monster.....

The turtles, Fishface, and Dogpound-(Boredly) Of doom.

Enemy of my Enemy[edit]

Mikey-Stoked. I can't believe we're getting a miscle launcher. What should we blow up first?

Raph-Uh, the kraang ship?

Mikey-Oh right. What should we blow up second?

Leo-If Karai can pull it off.

Donnie-Are you worried about your girlfriend? I see why you guys do that now. It's kind of fun

Karai's Vendetta[edit]

Donnie-He's got us! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!

(The monster loveingly moans, the turtles faces unconfortable and surprised)


(The monster is hugging the turtle sub)

Donnie-Ugh! Ick!

Mikey-Hey. We're not that kind of sub!

The Pulverizer Returns![edit]

Mikey-Look, I'm Leo. (deeper pitched voice) Guys, shhh. We have to be quiet. Ninjas are quiet. Quiet down.

(Raph and Donnie laugh)

Leo-I sound nothing like that!

Raph-(sarcastically) Yes. That's why we're laughing, because you sound nothing like that.


Mikey: Hey, Raph! Fire the weapons!

Raph: I don't think so.

Mikey: See, that's your problem. If I were in charge of weapons, I'd be firing at things all the time. That mailbox, blam! That newsstand, boom! That port-a-potty, splat!

Leo: And that's why you're not in charge of weapons. Now get back to your station and tell me which way to go.

Mikey: Hmm...okay. Uh, you should turn right three blocks ago. (Leo, Donnie, and Raph groan.)

Raph: Let's trash the place.

Leo: Hold on, Raph. This is a recon mission. We go in there, find out what the Kraang are up to, and then we trash the place.

Raph: Fine. Wake me when we get to the trashing part.

Mikey: I'm beginning to think that he likes that egg more than me.

Raph: Well, the egg talks less than you, so there's that.

Raph: Donatello, you said he was safe. You said you turned him.

Donnie: I did.

Mikey: Did you, Donnie? Did you really? (Pauses) Well, you did, but after you bit me, I was totally wiggin'. I almost passed out, like, 19 times, bro. But I stayed with it long enough, hurt my brain to remember everything you said.

Leo: You finished the antibody yourself?

Donnie: And you were just pretending to be one of us?

Mikey: Yup.

Raph: But that's...smart.

Mikey: Yeah, it is. Just call me Dr. Einstein-enstein.

Mikey: (burps) Pizza me.

Donnie: No, I'm not gonna pizza you.

Mikey: You're right. It's not like I did something incredibly brave and save your life or anything.

Leo: You did save our lives. But you also used my favorite comic book as toilet paper. (grits his teeth)

Mikey: (laughs nervously) Yeah, but I only did it so you would chase me.

Leo: Well, it worked.

Mikey: Wait, stop! I'm a hero! (crying)

Operation: Break Out[edit]

Donnie: April, did you see? I got him!

Raph: (makes Donnie move like a puppet and talk in a high voice) "Hi, Mikey"

Mikey: *laughs* Whoa, Donnie, amazing! (turns to Leo) He's like a puppet who can throw his voice...to...himself. Wait.

Donnie: What was that?

Raph: I was just having some fun. You know how much Mikey loves the Donnie puppet.

Donnie: Dude, April was watching.

Raph: I'm pretty sure she liked it...too. Wait. You still think you have a shot with April?

Donnie: Well...er, I mean-

Raph: Wow. That's adorable! And sad. It's...sadorable. Look. If you wanna impress April, better leave me out of it.

Leo: Why would Donnie go after Mr. O'Neil by himself?

Raph: Maybe because I told him he has no shot with April?

Leo: What? Why would you say that?

Raph: Because he has no shot with her!

Leo: Well, yeah, but you don't tell him that!

Mikey: The heart's a soft muscle, man. A soft muscle. Squish.


Leo-What? There's a forcefield?! Why didn't you tell me?!

Donnie-(sarcastically) Well, because I wanted us to fail. OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!

Mikey-Who saved the world?!

Raph, Donnie, and Leo-We saved the world!

Mikey-I said who saved the world?!

Raph, Donnie, and Leo-We saved the world!

Mikey-I said...

Raph-Stop asking!

Season 2[edit]

The Mutation Situation[edit]

Mikey-And let's not forget cottage cheese demon. If we didn't stuff him in the microwave, the earth would be drowned in living cheese.

Raph-For the 22nd time, Mikey. There was no cottage cheese demon, EVER!

Mikey-Did you see him?


Mikey-Then how do you know? Huh?

Mikey-Kind of feel like bait.

Raph-Don't think of yourself as bait, Mikey. This is your new super hero costume. You can call yourself......uh.....

Mikey-Turflytle! Tur-Fly-Tle! OH yeah! I love it. Too awesome! What are my powers?

Leo-Uh you can...hang from a rope.


Mikey-Turflytle's on the patrol buzz buzz. His bug eyes spy every crime buzz buzz.

Raph-Will you stop saying "buzz buzz" after every sentence?

Mikey-I could do that buzz buzz. But I probably won't buzz buzz.

Invasion Of the Squirrelanoids[edit]

Raph-Great another horror story. Guess whose going to be up all night again.

Mikey-What? No. I was up late cus I was....polishing my grappling hook.


Raph-Jeez, Mikey. When's the last time you cleaned? (picks up underwear with his sai) And since when did you start wearing tidy whiteys?

Mikey-That, my friend, is a story for another day.

Raph-It's in my guts! I can feel it in there munching on that popcorn I ate! IT'S FREAKING ME OUT, MAN!!!

Donnie-Ok. You gotta stop with the this. Because I can't hear what's going on inside your intestines.

Mikey-Oh, I'll tell you what's going on in there. (looks at comic, all the pictures are resembling what's going on now) Let me see. Right now, the mutant squirrel is probably secreting a mucas into you stomach lining so that when it multiplies....

Donnie-Mikey, not helping. Though, probably 98% accurate.

Raph-Get him out! Get him out! Get him out!

(Donnie listen inside of Raph)

Donnie-Just as I thought. We need to perform surgeory stat. (turns to Mikey) Nurse.

(Mikey pull out a hack saw on an egg beater, brings it closer to Raph)


(Mikey pulls it away, he, Leo, and Donnie start laughing)

Raph-What are you doing? I told you I check the bedrooms.

Mikey-Thought you'd need back up. (nervous laughs)

(They hear a growl)

Mikey-There was a sound just like that in my comic when the baby aliens turned into giant alienoids.

Raph-Wait, you read it in a comic. How can it sound the same? SWEET MOTHER OF MUTATIONS!!!

Mikey-They turned into....into.....SQUIRELLANOIDS!!!!!

Follow the Leader[edit]

Mikey_we have been searching mutagen for days now, dudes. This is so boring, I'm gonna scream. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Leo, Donnie, Raph-MIKEY!!!

Mutagen Man Unleashed edit