Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)
- 1 Season 1
- 1.1 Rise of The Turtles (Part I)
- 1.2 Rise of The Turtles (Part II)
- 1.3 Turtle Temper
- 1.4 New Friend, Old Enemy
- 1.5 I Think His Name is Baxter Stockman
- 1.6 Metalhead
- 1.7 Monkey Brains
- 1.8 Never Say Xever
- 1.9 The Gauntlet
- 1.10 Panic in the Sewers
- 1.11 Mousers Attack!
- 1.12 It Came From The Depths
- 1.13 New Girl in Town
- 1.14 I, Monster
- 1.15 The Alien Agenda
- 1.16 The Pulverizer
- 1.17 TCRI
- 1.18 Cockroach Terminator
- 1.19 Baxter's Gambit
- 1.20 Enemy of my Enemy
- 1.21 Karai's Vendetta
- 1.22 The Pulverizer Returns!
- 1.23 Parasitica
- 1.24 Operation: Break Out
- 1.25 Showdown: Part 1
- 1.26 Showdown: Part 2
- 2 Season 2
Rise of The Turtles (Part I)
- (Leonardo and Michelangelo are sparring)
- Michaelangelo: Oh, yeah! Michelangelo is on the move! You don't know what to do! I'm here! I'm there! I could be anywhere! How do you stop what you can't even see?
- Leonardo: (Hitting Michelangelo in the gut with the pommel of his Katana handle) Like that.
- Michaelangelo: (On the floor, breath knocked out of him) Good one, Leo.
- (Raphael and Donatello are sparing)
- Raphael: (popping neck and shoulder joints) Alright, Donnie, put down the staff, and no one gets hurt.
- Donatello: Uh, you said that last time, Raph, and then you hurt me.
- Raphael: Yeah... but less than I would have.
- Donatello: Yeah, right!
- (Later, Raphael wins the spar, and snaps Donnie's staff in two)
- Donatello: Should have dropped the staff?
- Raphael: (In confirmation) Should have dropped the staff.
- (Raphael and Leonardo are about to spar)
- Leonardo: Onegai shimasu.
- Raphael : Whatever you say.
- (Spars have finished, Raphael won)
- Splinter: (Off-screen) Yame! You all did very well.
- Raphael : But I did better.
- Splinter: This is about self-improvement, Raphael, it is not about winning and losing.
- Raphael : (Flushed with success) I know, sensei, but I won and they lost.
- (Splinter pinches a painful pressure point on Raph's neck)
- Raphael: Aah, aah, aah! But, what's really important is that we all did our best. (crying) GOOD JOB, EVERYONE! (Splinter lets go) Aah!
- Splinter: Heh, heh, heh, heh.
- (Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello are eating algae and worms in the kitchen)
- Michaelangelo: There's a little more algae and worms left if anyone wants it. Anybody? Anybody?
- Raphael: No thanks.
- Leonardo: I'm good.
- Donatello: All yours.
- Michaelangelo: Well then, I guess no one left room for cake!
- Donatello: It is a cake!
- Raphael: Made of algae...and worms.
- Leonardo: What's the frosting made out of?
- Michaelangelo: You don't wanna know. Happy Mutation Day!
- Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello: Happy Mutation Day!
- (holding the empty, broken canister of mutagen and wrapping up his story)
- Splinter: It was the mysterious substance in this canister that - in a way - gave birth to us all.
- (Michaelangelo snatches it out of his hands and hugs it)
- Michaelangelo: Mom!
- Michelangelo: [staring at a neon sign for a palm reader] Guys, guys! check this out. A hand made made out of light. [Gasp] Now it's an eye made of light. [Gasp] And the hand again! Now the eye's back! Now the hand!
- Michelangelo: [the 4 stare down hesitantly at a pizza for the first time, Michelangelo volunteers to try it. He gobbles it noisily then lets out a satisfied belch] Uh, yuck. You guys won't like it. I'll take the rest.
- Michelangelo: High three.
- Raphael: Give it up already. The guy's not gonna show.
- Leonardo: We have to be patient.
- Raphael: No, you have to come up with a better plan, 'cause the four of us standing there with our thumbs up our noises...
- Michelangelo: I don't think they'd fit...
- Raphael: ...is pointless.
- Leonardo: [Van parks on the corner] You sure about that, Raph?
- Raphael: He showed up, didn't he? I should've complained two hours ago.
- Leonardo: Gentlemen, I have a bold and daring plan. There's no time for hesitation. My orders must be carried out without question. [Turtles run off leaving Leo alone] Guys? Guys, wait up!
- Michelangelo: Guys! Guys! you're never gonna believe this. That dude, he - he had a brain!
- Leonardo: We all have brains, Mikey.
- Donatello: Not all of us.
- Michelangelo: In our chests?
- Leonardo: No, Mikey. not in our chests.
- Michelangelo: You're not listening to me! [Leonardo slaps Michelangelo] Did you just slap me?
- Leonardo: I was calming you down.
- Michelangelo: WHY WOULD THAT CALM ME DOWN?
- Splinter: Wisdom comes from experience, and experience comes from making mistakes.
- Donatello: Guys, look at that! [Turtles see April walking with her dad] She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!
- Raphael: Isn't she the only girl you've ever seen?
- Donatello: My point still stands. [Snake's van pulls up and Kraang exit and attack April and Kirby] We gotta save 'em!
- Leonardo: Splinter's instructions were very clear: we need to stay from people...and bathrooms!
- Donatello: Well, I'm going.
- (a canister of mutagen rolls out of Snake's van and stops by Michelangelo's feet)
- Michaelangelo: Mom?
Rise of The Turtles (Part II)
- April O'Neil: (Hammering on her and her father's cell door) Hey! You can't keep us in here like this! We know our rights!
- Kirby O'Neil: I don't think they care about that, April.
- Raphael: How does he managed to be right and still look stupid?
- Michaelangelo: It's a gift.
- The Shredder: So, my old enemy is in New York. And training his own army! At last, I can finish what I started, so long ago. Prepare my jet. I'm going to visit an old friend.
- Splinter: You are ninjas. You work in the shadows, in secret. This becomes difficult if there is proof of your existence in high definition!
- Splinter: Anger is self-destructive.
- Raphael: I always thought it was others-destructive.
- Splinter: Again! Only this time... Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo, insult Raphael.
- Donatello: [confused] Wait, insult... him?
- Splinter: Yes.
- Donatello: And he can't fight back?
- Splinter: No.
- Donatello: [smiling to Leo] I'm feeling good about this idea.
- Raphael: I'll make it worth your while. (very angrily) I WON'T TAKE YOUR HEAD AND SMASH IT AGAINST THE--!!
- Leonardo: Okay, okay, thank you Raphael. I will take over.
- Raphael: You understand me, don't you, Spike? Chew on your leaf if you understand me.
- [Spike chews on leaf]
- Raphael: Yeah, I thought so.
- Splinter: [Suddenly appearing behind him] I understand you, too.
- Raphael: Seriously, you gotta knock or something!
- Splinter: Let me tell you a story.
- Raphael: Sensei, I'm not really in the mood for a story.
- Splinter: Spike, chew on your leaf if you're in the mood for a story.
- [Spike chews on leaf]
- Splinter: Very well. When I was a young man, I fell in love with a woman.
- Raphael: Oh! Is it that late already? [Tries to leave]
- Splinter: Sit!
- [Raph sits down and Splinter continues]
- Splinter: Her name was Tang Shen. But I wasn't the only one in love with her. There was another man competing for her attention: Oroku Saki.
- Raphael: Shredder.
- Splinter: And one day, he insulted me in front of her. He called me many things. I felt I couldn't let his words go unanswered. I lost my temper, and overtime, our rivalry festered into hatred. Until Shredder sought to finish me, and I lost my beloved Tang Shen.
- Raphael: But it wasn't your fault. Shredder insulted you. You had no choice!
- Splinter: No choice? I could have chose to ignore him. I could have chose to let his words wash over me, like a river over stone. But no, it was I who turned his words into weapons. That was the choice I made. What choice will you make?
- Raphael: Wow, I didn't think this guy couldn't get any uglier!
New Friend, Old Enemy
- Raphael: Are you an idiot? Wait, let me rephrase that. You are an idiot!
- Donatello: You can't show yourself to a human.
- Michelangelo: Why not?
- Donatello: Because they'll freak the heck out, that's why not.
- Michelangelo: No they won't. I'm not so scary.
- Raphael: You're an ugly, green mutant armed with ninja weapons.
- Michelangelo: Look, this guy is gonna see that I'm just a regular cat-loving dude like him. We'll be best buds! This is gonna be awesome!
- (jumps down, despite his brother's protests, to the owner of the cat's balcony)
- Michelangelo: Hi! Here's your--
- Cat Owner: Gah! Ugly, green mutant freak!
- Michelangelo: But I got your cat!
- Cat Owner: Help! He's got my cat!
- (just fallen off the roof of the cat owner in an alley, surrounded by his brothers)
- Michelangelo: Does someone wanna help me with this?
- (he turns to reveal the cat still clawing at his shell)
- Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo: No.
- [Splinter tackles Leo to the ground with his staff]
- Splinter: Was that fair?
- Leonardo: (On the ground) No!
- Splinter: Did I win?
- Leonardo: I see your point.
- (Splinter helps him up)
- Splinter: Seek victory, not fairness.
I Think His Name is Baxter Stockman
- Splinter: How many times have I told you not to skateboard in the lair?!
- Michelangelo: None, Sensei.
- Splinter: I shouldn't have to tell you!
- Raphael: Ugh, This bites! I can't believe we're stuck down here for a whole week!
- Donatello: Guys, guys! You wanna see what I made?
- Raphael: This is how bored I am. Yes, Donnie, I do.
- Raphael: You're really going to plug an advanced piece of military technology directly into Mikey's head? What if it melts his brain?
- Donatello: It won't. And even if it did, who would know the difference?
- (Mikey presses play, he starts screaming)
- Donatello: WHAT?! WHAT'S WRONG?!
- Michelangelo: IT'S POLKA! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!! (Donnie presses stop) Thanks.
- Leonardo: Guys, we're ninjas. We move swiftly, and, here's the important part, silently. [Leonardo falls through a skylight, and fumbles over several crates and tables] BEEHIVE! [Smacks into a beehive, crashes through the wall, falls down the fire escape, and crashes on the ground. Car alarms go off.]
- Raphael: That wasn't very silent, Leo!
- Leonardo: Halt, villain!
- Raphael: "Halt villain!"? When did we start talking like that?
- Leonardo: We're heroes. That's how heroes talk.
- Leonardo: How did he upgrade his armor so fast?
- (They notice he has the T-pod)
- Donatello: He has the T-pod?!
- Michelangelo: Oh, uh, heh, I might of dropped that during the fight.
- Donatello: You dropped it during the fight?! Nice going, Mikey!
- Michelangelo: It's your fault!
- Donatello: How is it my fault?!
- Michelangelo: You know I can't be trusted with nice things!
- Baxter Stockman: I'm not Baxter Stockman. I am.....the Baxman! No I am the Suitinator! Oh that's terrible. Captain...punch you....hard. Oh why is it so difficult.
- Michelangelo: I kind of like the suitinator.
- Baxter Stockman: You guys again!
- Leonardo: Alright, Baxter. We don't want to hurt you.
- Raphael: We don't? Did I...miss a meeting?
- Leonardo: Ah! Sensei!
- Splinter: And where have you been?
- Raphael: Nowhere?
- Splinter: How did you get so hurt?
- Leonardo: Oh that. We were um..
- Raphael: Hit...
- Donatello: By a...
- Michelangelo: Bus?
- (Splinter looks curious, Mikey's teeth fall out)
- Donatello: (whispers) Hit by a bus?!
- Michelangelo: (whispers) Well, what was I supposed to say? Meteor? Cow? Flying building?
- Splinter: The first rule of being a ninja is do no harm. Unless you need to do harm, then do lots of harm!
- Michelangelo: Excuse me, Sensei, but ninjas never had to go up against guys in armor. [Sees painting] Oh, I mean ninjas always had to go up against guys in armor.
- Raphael: Nice save.
- Leonardo: Sensei, what was their secret?
- Splinter: They understood that you do not fight the armor, you fight the man inside.
- [Turtles stare at Mikey who looks at them]
- Michelangelo: Why are we all looking at each other?
- Donatello: How am I supposed to fight advanced alien technology WITH A STUPID STICK?!
[Splinter brings Donatello a new Bo-Staff]
- Raphael: Look, Spike. Donnie got a new stick to break.
- Donatello: With all due respect Sensei, I can't keep fighting alien technology with a six foot staff. I was hoping to upgrade my weapon.
- Splinter: Hm... a seven foot staff, interesting...
- Donatello: No, I meant using modern technology.
- Splinter: Ah, a solar-powered staff.
- Donatello: I'm serious, sensei.
- Splinter: I know. And yes you may upgrade your weapon.
- Donatello: That's totally unfair! You can't just... (realizes) Did you just say yes?
- April: Hey, guys, check out this post I got.
- Raphael: Hang on, April, I just have to destroy Lame-onardo.
- [Raph beats Leo in a game and does a victory dance.]
[Metalhead walks toward the group]
- Donatello/Metalhead: Take me to your leader.
- Michaelangelo: [bored] Leo, it's for you.
- Leonardo: What is this thing?
- Donatello: Gentlemen, and Raphael, this is the future of ninjitsu.
- Raphael: I always thought the future of ninjitsu would be taller.
- Michaelangelo: He's so cute. [tickles Metalhead] Goochy-goochy-goo. [Metalhead activates all of his weapons]
- Donatello: Heh. He doesn't like being tickled.
[The turtles meet with April, and MetalHead falls into a dumpster. He bangs around, and turns the dumpster on it's side. He bangs around some more, and finally gets out.]
- Raphael: Still, it's stealhtier than the REAL Donatello.
(Metalhead and April are waiting on the roof for Leo, Raph, and Mikey)
- Donatello/Metalhead: So... do you like heavy metal?
- Donatello: [Watching April through the monitor] Look at her. She's so beautiful. On this monitor, she can't even tell I'm staring.
- April: You DO know that's not muted, right?
- Donatello/Metalhead: Ahh! Of course. I mean, if it was muted, you couldn't hear me joking. [Smacks his head and presses a button on the controls. Metalhead's megaphone activates] Man, I hope she bought that.
- April: That's the megaphone.
- Donatello/Metalhead: [With the megaphone] I KNOW! [Turns megaphone off] So, how do you think the fight's going?
(Metalhead bursts through the skylight just as Mikey, Raph, and Leo are cornered by the Kraang)
- Leonardo: What are you doing? What is wrong with your arms?
- Donatello/Metalhead: My hands aren't on my hips?
- Leonardo: NO!
- Donatello/Metalhead: (fixes Metalhead's arms) Sorry. Forgot to press 'B'.
- [Donnie's new laser-guided, missile-launching bo-staff invention begins to shake uncontrollably]
- Donatello: It's not supposed to do that! [To his brothers] RUUUUUUUN!
- [Leo, Mikey, and Raph scream and run away as the episode ends.]
- Leonardo: I bet that wasn't on his flow chart.
- [Flips board over and examines flow chart.]
- Leonardo: Whoa, it is. That is spooky...
- April: Careful, Donnie, that's a dangerous mutant!
- Donatello: That makes two of us!
Leo-Donnie, are you going to be okay?
Donnie-Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine.
Leo-In that case....
(Leo, Raph, and Mikey start laughing)
Raph-You got beaten up by a monkey? In front of your girlfriend?
Donnie-She's not my girlfriend. And that monkey was a vicious mutant.
Leo-Yeah. I'm sure he went bananas!
(They continue laughing)
Leo-Oh no no. He went ape!
(April comes in with an ice pack)
Raph-No more monkey puns.
April-Are you laughing at him because he's hurt?
Mikey-No. We were laughing at him because he was hurt by a....MONKEY!!!
(They start laughing again)
Never Say Xever
- Donatello: Are you saying turtles are slow?
- Michelangelo: That's a hurtful stereotype.
- Leonardo: Trust us, April, we are better keeping a low profile. We figured out people treat us better if they don't know we exist.
- April: Sorry, I'm just so excited to finally get you out of the sewer for a change.
- Raphael: What are you talking about? We go out all the time.
- April: Yeah, but tonight your gonna do something besides hitting people.
- Raphael: (disappointed) Aww...
- April: (talking to the turtles) Don't worry. You're going to love this noodle place a found.
- Donatello: (nervous) And you're sure we'll be welcome?
- April: Oh, yeah, Mister Murakami doesn't care what you look like. In fact, he won't even know what you look like. He's blind.
- Michelangelo: Awesome! (get's slapped by Raphael) I mean, for us, obviously.
Raph-Man, could that fight have been more embaressing?
Mikey-Sure. We could've been hit in the face with pies.
- Leonardo: No more "Mr. Nice Turtle".
- Raphael: Yes! I never liked "Mr. Nice Turtle".
- Bradford: (referring to the turtles) How could you be so sure they weren't bluffing?
- Xever: I wasn't.
- April: I am being hunted... by a giant pigeon!
- [Raphael laughs but pauses as he notices nobody is laughing.]
- Raphael: I can't be the only one who's finds that funny.
- Donatello: It's not funny Raph, there's a creature out there trying to hurt my April!
- [April stares.]
- Donatello: Our April... April.
- April: He would have torn me into pieces... if he hadn't slammed into the glass.
- [Raphael laughs and pauses again.]
- Raphael: Really? Just me?
Leo-Alright, Mighty Mutants. Let's do this.
Raph-Mighty Mutants? What, Dancing Dorks was already taken?
- April: (acting as bait) Here I am, walking around in the big city, all alone! Oh, I sure hope some pigeon man doesn't come out and attack me! That would be the last thing I would want!
- Donatello: What are you doing?!
- April: (normal voice) You wanted me to be bait, I'm bait!
- Donatello: That's not how bait talks!
- April: How do you know how bait talks?
- Donatello: I know bait doesn't talk back.
- Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo: (come out of hiding positions) Oooooooooooh!
- Michelangelo: Oh, no, you di'n't.
- Pete: I have a name you know!
- Raphael: Yeah, we just don't care what it is.
Panic in the Sewers
Leo-Alright, Raph. Cool off.
Mikey-(off screen) I CAN HELP WITH THAT!
(a water balloon hits Raph)
Mikey-Dr. Prankenstein strikes again.
(Raph comes up to him with fury in his eye)
Mikey-Dude, you should see your face right now. You look so mad.
Raph-Ok, Spike. You'll like this show. (cracks his knuckles) It's called "Does Mikey Bend that way?"
Raph-COME HERE, YOU!!!
- Raphael: I can't believe I'm gonna say this (Imitates character from Space Heroes) "Get it together, captain, you're our leader, so act like one.
- Leonardo: (Calms down) You're right Raph, that was the anxiety ray talking.
- Raphael: What, that's it? You're not gonna slap yourself?
- [Leo shrugs.]
- Michelangelo: (being chased by Donnie after hitting him with a water balloon) You're next, Leo! Dr. Prankenstein makes house calls!
- Leonardo: (To Donnie and Mikey) Look, guys, Raph and I may be better fighters, but you´re still an important part of this team.
- Donatello: (annoyed) As important as you two?
- [Leo and Raph look at each other.]
- Leonardo: Humm... Very important. We shouldn't compare ourselves. It's like apples and oranges.
- Raphael: (Muttering) Yeah, if apples were way better, which they are.
- Donatello: So, the truth comes out.
- Michelangelo: You guys think of us as some kind of... B Team!
- Raphael: (To Mikey) Good one, Dr. Namenstein. We'll call you "The B Team"!
- Michelangelo: Thanks... (realizes)... I mean, Hey!
- Fishface: If I weren't stuck in here, I would have caught Splinter by now!
- Dogpound: But you are stuck in there. [starts tapping the glass in Fishface's fish tank, creating vibrations that harm Fishface's hearing]
- Fishface: No-no-no-no! Stop that! Stop that! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Ow! Stop it!
- Dogpound: [laughs] I'm sure you'll have your chance to shine one of these days. Master Shredder might get hungry for sushi.
- Fishface: Why don't you get in the water and say that!
- Shredder: Enough, Xever! Bradford is right, you are useless to me this way! [to Dogpound] I'm counting on you, find me information I can use, or Xever won't be the only one missing his legs.
- Raphael: Dexter Speckman!
- Baxter Stockman: It's Baxter Stockman!
- Raphael: I was close!
- (Leo snatches up April's phone and points his katana at Baxter)
- Baxter Stockman: How did you escape my MOUSERS?
- Leonardo: We didn't.
It Came From The Depths
- Joan Grody: Are malicious mutants menacing Manhattan?
- Guy on TV: It was like part-man, part-reptile, and all-monster! It came outta nowhere and attacked me!
- [Leo and Donnie stare at Raph.]
- Raphael: It wasn't me!
- Leonardo: We are NOT taking that monster home with us!
- Michelangelo: He's not a monster! He's a giant, Kraang-crushing, mutant alligator monster! (Mikey realizes what he just said) I just said "monster", didn't I?
- Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo: (While nodding) Yeah.
- Michelangelo: Well, you know what I meant!
- Raphael: I thought you meant "monster".
- Donatello: Yeah.
- Leonardo: Mm-hm
- Splinter: Raphael, there is no monster more dangerous then a lack of compassion.
- [Hears Leatherhead growl in his sleep.]
- Splinter: My mistake...
- Michelangelo: Guys, you're doing what everyone else does to us: judging him by his looks.
- Donatello: And... the fact that he had me BY THE FACE, MIKEY!
- Michelangelo: It's like you always say, Master Splinter; "the enemy of my enemy is my bro".
- Splinter: That is not exactly what I said...
- Donatello: But we're still chaining him up, right?
- Splinter: Of course, I am compassionate, not insane.
- Raphael: Sometimes it's good to be a turtle...
- [Puts his head in shell when something comes flying at him. Leonardo and Donatello freak out until Raphael pops his head back out.]
- Raphael: ...And sometimes it's good to be a short turtle...
- (Talking to Leatherhead while the mutant crocodile is chained to one of the pillars in the lair)
- Michelangelo: Maybe you just think you're a monster 'cause everyone keeps treating you like one.
- Leatherhead: You are wise beyond your ears.
- Michelangelo: Yeah. I get that a lot.
New Girl in Town
- Michelangelo: NO! Not the pizza guy! Take Donnie!
- Donatello: (slightly annoyed) Snakeweed's getting away!
- Michelangelo: Leo's back! And he's been crying! (runs over and hugs him) Oh, you missed us!
- Leonardo: (pushes him off) I got hit with blinding powder.
- Michelangelo: Sure, you big softie.
(Leo and Raph are fighting)
- Michelangelo: C'mon guys. Let's just hug this out.
- Michelangelo: [smells pizza and regains consciousness] Mmm... Pepperoni.
- Leonardo: Works everytime.
- Michelangelo: I can think of a lot more better names than "The Rat King"! There's Ratzilla, the Verminator, Lord Rattington...
- Leonardo: We get it, Mikey.
- Leonardo: Mikey, poke him.
- Michelangelo: No way! I'm not poking him! You poke him!
- Leonardo: Ok, we'll put it to a vote.
- Raphael; Donatello; and Leonardo: Mikey!
- Michelangelo: I want a re-count!
The Alien Agenda
- [Baxter Stockman is trying to build mechanical legs for Fishface]
- Dogpound: Ah, the mermaid's growing legs!
- Baxter Stockman: Please, settle down! Xever, get ready to walk!
- [Fishface tries to walk but ends up running amok around the lair while Dogpound cracks up laughing]
- Michelangelo: Alright, guys. What do you want? Omelet pizza, or Pizza omelet?
- Raphael: What's the difference?
- Michelangelo: Okay, you caught my bluff!
- Leonardo: We're trapped!
- Karai: No, you're trapped. I wonder what happens if I do this.
[She's about to press a button]
- Raphael: No!
- Leonardo: Don't do that!
- Kraang Droid: Highly undesirable outcome!
- Karai: Well, now I gotta.
- Raphael: Nice try, Octo-Punk!
- Michelangelo: No, no! Call him: Octo-Eyeball-jellybug! Eh... Let's just call him Justin.
- "'Leonardo"': Thank you for understanding. I'm glad you're not mad.
- "'Splinter"': Who says I'm not mad? (Splinter smashes Leo's foot with his staff.)
- "'Leonardo"': Ow! Ooh! Ah! (Leo grabs his hurting foot.)
Donnie-Now I assigned everyone stations based on your basic skill sense. I can't drive, because my station is in the back. So...
Raph, Mikey, Leo-Driver! (pushes and shoves)
Donnie-(breaks up the fight) Leo drives.
Mikey and Raph-Why?
Donnie-He's least likely to hit something just for fun.
Raph and Mikey-True.
- Pulverizer: [to Leo] You were all like, "Let's finish this!" [to Raph] And you were all like, "You're going down!" [to Mikey] And you were all like, "BEEES!" [to Donnie] And you... you were like the strong-silent type.
- Michelangelo: Dude, Fishface is a little sensitive.
- Leonardo: You're calling him "Fishface"?
- Michelangelo: Well, it was either that or "Robocarp".
- [Raph is bitten by Fishface]
- Michelangelo: Raph, are you okay?
- Raphael: Yeah, I'm fine. Fine... I love you.
- Michelangelo: HE'S NOT FINE!
[over the phone]
- Michelangelo: DONNIE! RAPH'S BEEN BITTEN BY A GIANT POISONOUS FISH!
- Donatello: That's not possible! If he was bitten, then it's venom, not poison.
- Michelangelo: Interesting, interesting. GET OVER HERE!!
- Donatello: What are his symptoms?
- Michelangelo: He keeps telling me I'm the smartest guy he knows.
- Donatello: Okay, okay, he's delusional.
- Donatello: Does he have any nausea?
- Michelangelo: Nah, he doesn't have any... [Raph throws up] Ugh! Check that! What the... I knew you ate my pizza! YOU LIAR!
- Raphael: Why are there fingers on my feet?
- Donatello: Hang in there, buddy. You'll be okay. [injects the antidote into Raph]
- Raphael: Thanks... magical unicorn.
(Fishface jumps in, Raph, Leo, and Mikey laugh at him)
Leo-Look. Sushi that delivers itself!
- Donatello: I know I've seen this symbol; it's so familiar.
- Michelangelo: The Olympics!
- Donatello: No!
- Michelangelo: I got it! The Olympics!
- Donatello: Stop guessing! Obviously it's a crime signal.
- Leonardo: But from where?
- Michelangelo: The Olympics!
- Donatello: QUIT IT!!
Donatello-It's beautiful.Uh, Scientifically speaking.
Raph-Well, if you love it so much, why don't you marry it?
Mikey-Do you, Donatello, take this portal to be your lawfully wedded....
Leo-Knock it off!
(on laptop, Raph screams like a girl)
Mikey-(laughs) That is awesome! Big tough Raph is scared of cockroaches.
Raph-I am not!
Mikey-Oh really? Let's go to the video (rewinds video) This is my favorite part right here. Donnie, can I get this on a T-shirt?
Raph-Wanna see my favorite part? (He flips Mikey over the counter)
Raph: None of this makes sense! Why is he so mad at us?! (Raph's recorded war cry repeated on tape) Aw crud.
Donnie: I don't think he's mad at us, I think he's mad at you.
Mikey: Wow, that must really stink for someone afraid of roaches.
Raph: Irony, got it, thanks. So are there any other surprises? (saw buzzing) HE HAS A SAW?!?!?! THE COCKROACH HAS A SAW!!!
(Leo slices saw off, squishy noises)
Leo: Not anymore.
Raph: I'm sorry I tried to smash you, okay? I'm sorry. I've learned a very important lesson. I'll never be cruel again, just leave me alone.
Mikey: On one condition:
Raph: Ah! Anything!
Mikey: Be good to Michelangelo.
Raph: (screams) What?
Mikey: Let him read your comics once in a while.
Raph: (Turns around) MIKEY! *kicks Mikey*
Mikey: So much for learning your lesson.
Fishface-Uh, please. After you.
Leo-No no. You go first. I insist.
Fishface-What's the matter? You don't trust me?
Raph-If you think we're turning our backs to you, your nuts.
Mikey-I know. We'll go like this. Turtle, turtle, jerk, turtle, turtle, jerk. Wait no. Jerk, turtle, jerk, jerk, nah too many jerks.
Mikey-So I was wondering, what made you so interested in a career of super villainy?
Baxter-Well, since you won't be around to read my autobiography, I'll tell you. I was a frail, and delicately sensitive young child.
Dogpound-Well, there's a surprise.
Baxter-NO! You were supposed to destroy each other, not work together! No matter. You made it through my maze alive. Now it's time for.....
Mikey-The bonus round?
Baxter-Yes. The bonus round.....OF DOOM!!!!! Kneel before the fury of my monster.....
The turtles, Fishface, and Dogpound-(Boredly) Of doom.
Enemy of my Enemy
Mikey-Stoked. I can't believe we're getting a miscle launcher. What should we blow up first?
Raph-Uh, the kraang ship?
Mikey-Oh right. What should we blow up second?
Leo-If Karai can pull it off.
Donnie-Are you worried about your girlfriend? I see why you guys do that now. It's kind of fun
Donnie-He's got us! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!
(The monster loveingly moans, the turtles faces unconfortable and surprised)
(The monster is hugging the turtle sub)
Mikey-Hey. We're not that kind of sub!
The Pulverizer Returns!
Mikey-Look, I'm Leo. (deeper pitched voice) Guys, shhh. We have to be quiet. Ninjas are quiet. Quiet down.
(Raph and Donnie laugh)
Leo-I sound nothing like that!
Raph-(sarcastically) Yes. That's why we're laughing, because you sound nothing like that.
Mikey: Hey, Raph! Fire the weapons!
Raph: I don't think so.
Mikey: See, that's your problem. If I were in charge of weapons, I'd be firing at things all the time. That mailbox, blam! That newsstand, boom! That port-a-potty, splat!
Leo: And that's why you're not in charge of weapons. Now get back to your station and tell me which way to go.
Mikey: Hmm...okay. Uh, you should turn right... three blocks ago. (Leo, Donnie, and Raph groan.)
Raph: Let's trash the place.
Leo: Hold on, Raph. This is a recon mission. We go in there, find out what the Kraang are up to, and then we trash the place.
Raph: Fine. Wake me when we get to the trashing part.
Mikey: I'm beginning to think that he likes that egg more than me.
Raph: Well, the egg talks less than you, so there's that.
Raph: Donatello, you said he was safe. You said you turned him.
Donnie: I did.
Mikey: Did you, Donnie? Did you really? (Pauses) Well, you did, but after you bit me, I was totally wiggin'. I almost passed out, like, 19 times, bro. But I stayed with it long enough, hurt my brain to remember everything you said.
Leo: You finished the antibody yourself?
Donnie: And you were just pretending to be one of us?
Raph: But that's...smart.
Mikey: Yeah, it is. Just call me Dr. Einstein-enstein.
Mikey: (burps) Pizza me.
Donnie: No, I'm not gonna pizza you.
Mikey: You're right. It's not like I did something incredibly brave and save your life or anything.
Leo: You did save our lives. But you also used my favorite comic book as toilet paper. (grits his teeth)
Mikey: (laughs nervously) Yeah, but I only did it so you would chase me.
Leo: Well, it worked.
Mikey: Wait, stop! I'm a hero! (crying)
Operation: Break Out
Donnie: I got him! April, did you see?
Raph: (kicks Donnie onto the floor, tries to stomp on him and makes Donnie move like a puppet and talk in a high voice) "Hi Mikey!"
Mikey: *laughs* Whoa, Donnie, amazing! (turns to Leo) He's like a puppet who can throw his voice...to...himself. Wait.
Donnie: What the heck was that?
Raph: I was just having some fun. You know how much Mikey loves the Donnie puppet.
Donnie: Dude, April was watching.
Raph: I'm pretty sure she liked it...too. Wait. You still think you have a shot with April?
Donnie: Well...er, I mean-
Raph: Wow. That's adorable! And sad. It's...sadorable. Look. If you wanna impress April, better leave me out of it.
Leo: Why would Donnie go after Mr. O'Neil by himself?
Raph: Maybe because I told him he has no shot with April?
Leo: What? Why would you say that?
Raph: Because he has no shot with her!
Leo: Well, yeah, but you don't tell him that!
Mikey: The heart's a soft muscle, man. A soft muscle. Squish.
Showdown: Part 1
Leo-What? There's a forcefield?! Why didn't you tell me?!
Donnie-(sarcastically) Well, because I wanted us to fail. OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!
Showdown: Part 2
Mikey-Who saved the world?!
Raph, Donnie, and Leo-We saved the world!
Mikey-I said who saved the world?!
Raph, Donnie, and Leo-We saved the world!
The Mutation Situation
Mikey-And let's not forget cottage cheese demon. If we didn't stuff him in the microwave, the earth would be drowned in living cheese.
Raph-For the 22nd time, Mikey. There was no cottage cheese demon, EVER!
Mikey-Did you see him?
Mikey-Then how do you know? Huh?
Mikey-Kind of feel like bait.
Raph-Don't think of yourself as bait, Mikey. This is your new super hero costume. You can call yourself......uh.....
Mikey-Turflytle! Tur-Fly-Tle! OH yeah! I love it. Too awesome! What are my powers?
Leo-Uh you can...hang from a rope.
Mikey-Turflytle's on the patrol buzz buzz. His bug eyes spy every crime buzz buzz.
Raph-Will you stop saying "buzz buzz" after every sentence?
Mikey-I could do that buzz buzz. But I probably won't buzz buzz.
Invasion Of the Squirrelanoids
Raph-Great another horror story. Guess whose going to be up all night again.
Mikey-What? No. I was up late cus I was....polishing my grappling hook.
Raph-Jeez, Mikey. When's the last time you cleaned? (picks up underwear with his sai) And since when did you start wearing tidy whiteys?
Mikey-That, my friend, is a story for another day.
Raph-It's in my guts! I can feel it in there munching on that popcorn I ate! IT'S FREAKING ME OUT, MAN!!!
Donnie-Ok. You gotta stop with the this. Because I can't hear what's going on inside your intestines.
Mikey-Oh, I'll tell you what's going on in there. (looks at comic, all the pictures are resembling what's going on now) Let me see. Right now, the mutant squirrel is probably secreting a mucas into you stomach lining so that when it multiplies....
Donnie-Mikey, not helping. Though, probably 98% accurate.
Raph-Get him out! Get him out! Get him out!
(Donnie listen inside of Raph)
Donnie-Just as I thought. We need to perform surgeory stat. (turns to Mikey) Nurse.
(Mikey pull out a hack saw on an egg beater, brings it closer to Raph)
Raph-LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!
(Mikey pulls it away, he, Leo, and Donnie start laughing)
Raph-What are you doing? I told you I check the bedrooms.
Mikey-Thought you'd need back up. (nervous laughs)
(They hear a growl)
Mikey-There was a sound just like that in my comic when the baby aliens turned into giant alienoids.
Raph-Wait, you read it in a comic. How can it sound the same? SWEET MOTHER OF MUTATIONS!!!
Mikey-They turned into....into.....SQUIRELLANOIDS!!!!!
Follow the Leader
Mikey-we have been searching mutagen for days now, dudes. This is so boring, I'm gonna scream. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
Leo, Donnie, Raph-MIKEY!!!