NCIS: Los Angeles

NCIS: Seasons (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17) | Los Angeles: Seasons (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10) | New Orleans: Seasons 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

NCIS: Los Angeles is an American police procedural television series, which premiered on CBS on September 22, 2009 and ended on May 21, 2023.

Pilot: Legend

Part 1 [6.22]

[As they walk into the squad room]

McGee: Tony, I am not arguing with you.

Tony: You're arguing now.

McGee: No I'm not.

Tony: Yes, you are.

McGee: This is not an argument.

Tony: Yes it is.

McGee: (exasperated) No, it's not.

Tony: Yes. It is. (phone rings) Hold on a second...

[Tony proceeds to answer Ziva's phone for her]

[...]

Tony: (wanders to McGee's desk) What were we arguing about before?

McGee: (gives him a look) We were not arguing.

Tony: Oh that. Yes we were.

McGee: Do you understand that that's what we were arguing about? The fact that you will argue about the least little thing. Sometimes you will argue about nothing at all... you just want to argue.

Tony: That's not arguing, McContrary. C'mon. Have a little insight. It's called 'banter'.

McGee: No, it is not. 'Banter' is light-hearted, witty repartee.

Tony: (grins) Go onnn...

McGee: (looks annoyed for a moment, then gives up and smirks) It's your turn to get the coffee. Go.

Tony: Long distance can be hard. Telefriend from Tel Aviv?

Ziva: You're jealous.

Tony: I'm not jealous.

Ziva: Yes, you are.

Tony: No, I'm not. I'm not arguing, boss.

McGee: Are too!

Tony: Am not!

Tony: He got a name?

Ziva: Who?

Tony: The star of David.

Ziva: Oh, him. Yes, he has a name.

Tony: Trevor? Bruce? Marmaduke?

Ziva: Michael.

Tony: Hm. He sounded more like a Bruce than a Michael on the phone.

Gibbs: Okay, grab your toothbrush.

McGee: Road trip?

Gibbs: Los Angeles.

Tony: Cali-for-ni-ay. What time do we leave?

Gibbs: Not we. [Points to McGee]

Tony: McGee? Not me? McGoo? You?!

Abby: Are you going somewhere?

Gibbs: Yeah. That's what I came down here to tell you. Los Angeles.

Abby: Into the lionesses den?!

Gibbs: [Kisses her cheek] I'm taking McGee.

Abby: Gibbs. It's just... last time you guys went to L.A. one of you didn't come back.

Gibbs: I'll bring him home, Abs. [Walks away]

Abby: Just make sure you bring yourself back, too.

Tony: Get any more hits on our secret thingy?

Abby: Do you know how busy I've been?

Tony: I know how busy you've been.

Abby: Okay, just asking. We got one hit, but it is a doozy. Guy on the right, Michael Rivkin, our supposed Israeli banker. Guy on the left, director of Mossad, Eli David. Also known as --

Tony: Ziva's father.

Abby: She must know Rivkin.

Tony: You don't ask her. You don't breathe a word of this, Abby. [Deletes file]

Abby: Tony.

Tony: I mean it.

Part 2 [6.23]

Tony: [Speaking of Abby] Ignore her, probie, she's suffering Gibbs withdrawal. Transferring it onto you because of a deep seated fear that Gibbs may withhold love and give her a first time head slap if he came back and saw his desk festooned in balloons and decorated like some tacky Tiki bar with messages of affection written possibly in blood. She ain't missin' you at all!

[At McGee's desk, Abby silently gives Tony a thumbs-up]

Ziva: What did I miss?

Tony: Oh, Abby playing with crayons, possibly blood; McGee calling; and I made a paper airplane that was so fantastic it broke the office gliding record. But really all the fun's happening in another area code. Are we fighting?

Ziva: If we were you would be on the floor bleeding.

Tony: Okay, I accept that as a likely outcome.

Tony: He's already killed two suspects.

Ziva: Well, in my country that would be cause for celebration!

Tony: You're not in your country and neither is he!