Aqua Something You Know Whatever

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Oooooh, Frylock is tan caliente!
Shake-rula is elegante de la casa
y Meatwad is tan grande!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, (also known by various alternative titles), (2001–15) is an animated television series from the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block. The show follows the exploits of three anthropomorphic fast food items: Master Shake, the milkshake; Frylock, the carton of French fries; and Meatwad, the aptly named wad of meat.

Big Bro[edit]

Carl: 'The hell are you doing?
Frylock: Oh, hey Carl. We're making a Soap Box Derby car. This is my new best bud, Gerald. Say hey, Gerald.
Gerald: What's up?
Carl: It looks, uh, a little like 2 Wycked
Frylock: Yeah man, that's the inspiration
Carl: Well, 2 Wycked is copyrighted
Frylock: Well, I mean, can we-
Carl: No, you can't. It's a one-of-a-kind original. I can't have you and, uh...ah, what's-his-nuts
Frylock: It's Gerald
Carl: Whatever his name is, cheapening it with a knock-off
Frylock: Carl, look, this is my little brother in the Big Brother Program, okay? I want to show him that not all men in this world are abusive
Carl: I'm just saying that if you continue ripping off my idea, my unique graphics, someone's face is gonna get ripped off. And that ain't a threat, that's a Carl guarantee
Frylock: Carl, he's nine
Carl: When I was nine, I already had hair on my buttocks, back, and underarm like an animal in the zoo. Life sucks, my friend, 'cause guess what: [Carl flips over the soapbox car, destroying it] Boom! That just happened.

Chicken and Beans[edit]

Carl: You sing any Sabbath?
Meatwad: Mmm...mostly originals
Carl: How 'bout Dio, God rest his soul
Meatwad: I don't know. We might throw in a cover, you never know.
Carl: How 'bout "One"? That song where the guy came back from the war and he's just an eyeball.

Meatwad: I am super nervous
Frylock: C'mon Meatwad, as long as I've known you this has been your dream, man!
Meatwad: I can't be pursuing every dream. I mean, last night I had a dream where I was swimming with Joey Fatone of NSYNC and then he turned into a corn dog and my teeth fell out. How am I supposed to achieve that?

Frylock: Look, I told you, this was just a quick trip to bring him back home; you barely need to be here. And you definitely don't need your guitar.
Master Shake: I brought all of them. You know, in case I want to export some different sounds. Did you think about that? And while you're thinkin', why don't you snag my effects pedals and the acoustics and I'll meet you in the cab
Frylock: I'll see you at the hotel
Master Shake: Wait! I have no money!

[At the end of the episode, Shake finds that he is sued for copyright infringement of his song, Bruschetta Nights (parody of "Big City Nights" by The Scorpions) and is to appear at court. He appears wearing an homage to The Scorpions' "Blackout" album]
Shake: Forks, yes! We'll see who has the last "sting" in court, Scorpions!

Shirt Herpes[edit]

Carl: This shirt, it's new
Master Shake: Whoa!
Carl: Pretty awesome, ain't it?
Master Shake: Now that is cool
Carl: It's the balls
Master Shake: [Reads the shirt] "The Interplanetary Insanitarium." Is that, like, a band or a road show, or...?
Carl: Maybe, I dunno. It is a cool shirt though
Master Shake: But it's still just a shirt. What else?
Carl: Nah, I mean, r-really look at this badass shirt.
[A long pause]
Carl: Wouldn't it be cool to be in that world, huh?
Master Shake: Yeah, I don't wear shirts. Can't really find anything in my size. Big and round, wide collar, no shoulders...

Carl: Smithed from iron ore. Crafted from liquid magma by one of the three demons. Satan's slaves. In the mine of a volcano.
Master Shake: Volcanoes have mines?!
Carl: Some do, yeah
Master Shake: I had no idea volcanoes were self aware
Carl: This one was. Look, uh, don't interrupt. I'm losin' momentum here.
Master Shake: Okay
Carl: Anyway, demon one, his name was...uh, Uno. And his brothers was named Yahtzee and Boggle. They was selected to guard this shirt with their lives, from me.
Master Shake: You were alive...back then?
Carl: I was. Yes, I was
Master Shake: I thought you were, like, in your forties
Carl: Forty thousand......million
Master Shake: Damn son
Carl: Look, let's go with this. No-no interruptions, please
Master Shake: Right on, man
Carl: You know at that time, th-there wasn't no such thing as a shirt, you know. We barely had enough mammoth fur to cover our junk, but we liked it that way. 'Cause it allowed me to showcase my lads n' my traps. And plus, the women, I mean, seriously. It's like they're all strippers.
Master Shake: Strippers everywhere?
Carl: Yeah. And plus, uh, dragons too
Master Shake: Dragon strippers? Holy smokes!
Carl: I know, right? I saw that shirt. I say, "I want that!" I rode up the volcano on my, know, was, know wh-
Master Shake: One-eyed Wonder Worm!
Carl: That-yeah, that's what I was riding
Master Shake: I've heard you talk about it before!
Carl: So Yahtzee looks up and he comes at me with a bass solo. Oh man, shouldn't-a done that, 'cause I ripped the ax from his clawed fingers and I swiftly beheaded him. All this, and I still continued to bass solo! From, it, like a Geddy Lee deep cut. Moving Pictures, maybe it was YYZ, I don't know. I didn't miss a note, I know that. Boggle looks up at me from his drum kit and he goes, "You don't kill my brother". He says something cooler than that; that was the gist of it. Yeah, he regretted the day I come to the Interplanetary Insanitarium. So then Uno sees this, right? And he aims all his amps at me and he tries to bring the thunder. But I got earplugs in, and it ain't no match for me. I got my junk ready, full-on, in chub mode, and reflects the thunder back at him. And it explodes his face and it melts it off. So I wore this shirt and I ruled the Interplanetary Insanitarium for a thousand years like a god. My name: The Gorn Lord.
Master Shake: So this is you on this shirt
Carl: I lost a little up top since then. My point is a thousand years have passed. And I must pass this shirt down to a new warrior king. A new Gorn Lord who will rule the kingdom of Hair Metal Mountain, as a Mighty God...of Rock!

Boggle: Who dares step foot on Metal Mountain?
Master Shake: It is I, the Gorn Lord Shake
Uno: Wow. That's an ugly shirt
Master Shake: The shirt chose rule over a it had chose Carl before me
Boggle: Carl bought that outside a gas station on the turnpike along with a set of Molly Hatchet mudflaps
Master Shake: But he doesn't drive a truck
Uno: Yeah, he framed them and, uh, put them on his rec room wall
Master Shake: Now, wait, are you saying that there's more than one of these shirts?
Uno: No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying there's about 18 more of those shirts, hanging on the rack at the gas station.
Master Shake: So...there are 18 more Gorn Lords I must defeat
Uno: No, just shirts. Uh, I think they're giving them away free with a fill-up.

Rocket Horse Jet Chicken[edit]

Meatwad: What's Jet Chicken like in private moments?
Rocket Horse: You really wanna know?
Meatwad: Yeah, you know I do! I'm a huge fan, man!
Rocket Horse: Well, uh...he's kinda paranoid, he has an unhealthy obsession with food, he gets angry at the drop of a hat and starts suing everyone in sight. But, you know, for the most part he's a......fat lazy piece of shit.
Meatwad: Dang.

Rocket Horse: Hey, there he is, Jet Chicken. Oh, so glad you're back, man
Jet Chicken: If you expect me to sign autographs all afternoon in the hot sun, then I expect toilet tissues and scented candles in my private toilet area!
Rocket Horse: *laughs sarcastically* That's really funny Jet Chicken. But, uh, hey, we got a fan here.
Jet Chicken: Want my autograph?
Meatwad: Yeah, absolutely! Can you make it out to, "My biggest fan, Meatwad"?
Jet Chicken: ...Oh, I'd love to, but we're only paid to sign until 4:00, and it's already 4:08 JERRY! Fucking Jerry.
Rocket Horse: Whoa whoa whoa...
Jet Chicken: Where's that piece of shit?!
Rocket Horse: ...*chuckles* calm down now. He said he had to go to the bank.
Jet Chicken: Fuck spending his days at the bank, you and I are out here signing autographs at a parking lot that's hotter than the surface of the fucking sun!

Rocket Horse: Hey, ya mind helping me pack up the inflatable, here.
Meatwad: I'll help
Rocket Horse: No, him. I want it to be him, all right? I gotta do this myself every fucking time!
Jet Chicken: Rocket Horse, I will help as soon as I get out of the bathroom.
Rocket Horse: You just went to the bathroom.
Jet Chicken: I know, but I think all those soda refills really did a number on that hero. Why do you think I picked up the chili dog on the way home? *grunt* Had to throw most of it out. Greek Special, my ass.

Jet Chicken: *in the bathroom* Ooh! Fan! Fan! Come to me at once!
Meatwad: Whatcha need Jet Chicken? You want me to gobble for justice? *makes gobbling noises*
Jet Chicken: ...No, I-I don't know what that is. Listen I need a wet vac in here. *brown toilet water spills out of the bathroom* This-this thing's overflowing.
Rocket Horse: There's no wet vac out here. All right? Jerry didn't provide one.
Jet Chicken: Fucking Jerry. Of course he didn't provide one! Fan!
Meatwad: I'm here.
Jet Chicken: I've got a job for you when I get out of here.
Meatwad: Okey dokey, just tell me when.
Jet Chicken: Actually...come on in here. I need help getting out of here. That's all I need to do is slip on one of these things and break my elbow again.

[Meatwad rings a doorbell. There is no answer]
Jet Chicken: Ring it again.
Meatwad: *rings it three times* ...I don't think no one's home.
Jet Chicken: He's home. His Jeep's here. Ring it again.
Meatwad: *rings again* ...Maybe he's asleep.
Jet Chicken: How would you know?! Are you in there?!
Rocket Horse: Ah c'mon, lay off Jet. He's doing you a favor.
Jet Chicken: Look, if he sees me on his lawn waving a gun around, he's gonna pretend not to be home.
Meatwad: M-maybe you oughtta hide better over there behind the bushes.
Jet Chicken: Oh, good idea fan. And maybe I oughtta pull out Ultra Beak and show you how it works. One peck to the brain; it's over!
[Jet Chicken fires his gun in the air and an alarm goes off]
Rocket Horse: Okay. Great. Now he knows we're out here.
Jet Chicken: Rocket Horse, kick the door in!
Rocket Horse: You kick the door in!

Jet Chicken: *farts* Oh god. Did someone see a bathroom around here? *notices the nearby Jeep* Ah, sunroof. *climbs on top of it* Well, looky looky looky. *starts defecating in it* Ahhh...Mr. Fancy, with your big house in the suburbs!

Meatwad: Is this, like, the headquarters of some supervillain or something?
Jet Chicken: [crapping in the sunroof of a car] Ooh. No, wait a minute. Nope, not quite done yet.
Rocket Horse: It's the doctor who fouled up his gastric bypass.
Jet Chicken: Go ahead, tell him how the damn thing leaks every time I eat.
Rocket Horse: It''s not. This is what happens when you don't exercise and you order queso with everything.

Jet Chicken: Did you bring paper?
Meatwad: Got the receipt from dinner, but I kinda need that 'cause you guys said you'd reimburse me
Jet Chicken: *wipes himself with it and throws it to the ground* Ooh, thanks buddy.
Meatwad: Ah man.

Doctor: Listen, man, I'm sorry you feel like I botched your operation, but the judge and the jury both agreed that I was drunk, and you pulled a gun on me and made me perform surgery on you because you didn't want to pay full price.

The Granite Family[edit]

[Nuclear explosions are going off all over Earth]
Ignignokt: Look Err, Earth is remaking "The Granite Family"
Ignignokt: It's a timeless classic, Err. It was made in a Land Before Time
Err: Land Before Time or The Land That Time Forgot?
Ignignokt: No, that's The Land of the Lost you're thinking
Err: Oh
Ignignokt: With Cha-ka

Time Warner: I own time travel. It's my-eh-my thing and if you use it I'll t-t-tell you to cease and eh d-d-d-desist
Frylock: Oh c'mon man, you don't have the market on this. Tons of people have done it. Time Bandits
Time Warner: Own it
Frylock: Terminator
Time Warner: Own it
Frylock: Timecop
Time Warner: Own it
Master Shake: Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision
Time Warner: Own it
Master Shake: The Butterfly Effect
Time Warner: Own it
Frylock: Butterfly Effect 2
Time Warner: Own it
Frylock: Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations
Time Warner: Own it
Master Shake: Timescape
Time Warner: Ehm-eh Own it
Frylock: Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
Time Warner: Own it
Master Shake: Hot Tub Time Machine
Time Warner: Own it
Master Shake: Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann
Time Warner: Own it
[Long pause]
Master: Brian's Song
Time Warner: Own it


[Shake's fingers are broken by Dante the bookie
Carl: Now's the time where you give him the money
Master Shake: I don't know what to say here! I mean *sniffles* you can't get blood out of a stone
Carl: Oh yeah? Show him, Dante
[Dante proceeds to literally squeeze blood out of a stone]

[Shake is pawning off a lawnmower and a broken TV]
Pawnbroker: not worth a thousand dollars
Master Shake: Fine. We'll go with the initial offer of forty. I make my money work for me.

[Looking at betting charts]
Master Shake: What do all those numbers mean? Is that, like, all the money I can win?
Carl: Oh yeah, yeah, that's how it works. You like football?
Master Shake: Oh sure, I love that one. The college guys who wear helmets and protect their brains
Carl: He-Hey! We got a football fan over here!

Master Shake: Do you think you can bring those fingers to Frylock to prove that I'm alive
Carl: Yeah, sure. Technically, this don't prove nothin' though

[On top of a bridge]
Master Shake: Hey, when do I get my new cement sneakers?
Dante: That's a waste of cement. We don't do that anymore. The water's only a couple of inches deep anyways
Master Shake: Oh good, I could have drowned

Fightan Titan[edit]

Paul: I hope you die with the devil's dick in your mouth in Hell!

Paul: Well, I-I'm with her, getting ice cream.
Frylock: Mm-hmm.
Paul: And my dad is there, and I love my dad, but he's always with us.
Frylock: Oh, yeah.
Paul: And it's weird because he shows up, and I never mentioned where we were going to be, but somehow he knew, right?
Frylock: Okay.
Paul: So then she says, out of nowhere, "I have to go to the car to check the air in the tires."
So, I'm like, "okay, that's responsible."
Frylock: Uh-huh.
Paul: And then Dad says he has to go to his car to get his shades. And so I'm like, "cool, get back soon 'cause your ice cream's gonna melt."
Frylock: Go ahead.
Paul: And like two hours pass, so I'm like, "what gives?" And I go to the parking lot...
Frylock: Okay.
Paul: ...and they're in my car, and they act all weird when I show up.
Frylock: Uh-huh.
Paul: And she puts her shirt on real quick, and she's in his lap, and I'm like, "what's goin' on?!"
Frylock: Yeah.
Paul: And they're all like, "he's just a friend, and why can't I be friends with your father?"
And I'm like, "well, what's his dick doing in your hands?!"
Meatwad: She's just trying to get your attention. She cares about you, man.
Paul: I know. I know she does. But they left me there, and they knew I didn't have the money for the ice cream. That's weird, right?
Frylock: I'm sure her hand slipped, Paul.
Paul: Hmm, that's what they said. I jus-I always feel like people are lying to me and-and using me...
Frylock: [to Shake] Hit the booby cannons.
[Shake pulls a lever]
Paul: What's that?
Frylock: Oh, nothing.
Paul: Good, 'cause I-I thought you said, "hit the booby cannons." That would've made me awful mad.
Frylock: No, no, I didn't say nothing. So what else happened on your little ice cream trip?
Shake: Wait, wait, hang on, I've got booby cannons charging.
Paul: Why are you charging up booby cannons?
Shake: You really wanna know?
Paul: Why did he say that?
Frylock: Shake, the man is dealing with a lot of pain right now, okay? So let's not talk about what we're doing.
Shake: He's gonna be dealing with a lot more pain in about...45 minutes to charge?! Oh, my God!
Frylock: [as police arrive] Paul, tell me more about your girlfriend.
Paul: She's really hot. She dresses like a slut all the time, especially when my dad's around. And I'm like, "you can wear that to work?"
And she's like, "yeah," and I'm like, "okay, well..."
Frylock: Heh yeah, jealousy can make you crazy, you know? Where we at, Shake?
Shake: You don't even wanna know. 3%.
Paul: And then I go to my dad's, and her car's parked there, and it turns out she's not at work at all!
Frylock: Maybe she quit her job so she and your dad could plan a surprise party for you.
Paul: Weird. That is exactly what she said.
Frylock: Where we at, Shake?
Shake: 4%. Wait. No, went back down.

Buddy Nugget[edit]

Carl: This ain't gonna give me, like, crotch cancer or nothing, is it?
Frylock: No way, dude. Not for at least 30 years. And by then, you'll be dead from cell phone radiation.
Carl: Yeah, well, you better be right.
[The Buddy Nugget activates and shocks Carl]
Carl: AAH! So then, this happens and then, uh, broads just come up here on their knees to give me oral?
Frylock: Well, it's not really for that, you know.
Carl:: Well then what good is it?
[A car pulls up]
Frylock:: Oh, Carl, here comes your first buddy now.
Carl Look-alike #1: Watch out, guy.
Carl:: Whoa, whoa, whoa chief! How about you watch where you're walking here?
Carl Look-alike #1: How about you pay attention to where you're standing, asshole?!
Carl: Hey, last time I checked, I own this puppy, huh?
Carl Look-alike #1: I walk where I want! What's it to you, butt-nut?!
Carl: You're the butt-nut!
Carl Look-alike #1: C'mon, you want a piece of this?!
Carl: Oh, you want a piece of this?!
Frylock: Whoa, whoa, whoa easy, guys.
[Carl and his look-alike start shoving and arguing]
Frylock: Hey, hey, hey, no shoving here. It says here that you both like sports. Am I right?
Carl Look-alike #1: Yeah, I like sports. So what?
Carl: I like sports, yeah.
Carl Look-alike #1: My team's the best.
Carl: I know, right? The Giants.
Carl Look-alike #1: Giants?! Fucking Jets! J-E-T-S! Jets, Jets, Jets, idiot.
Carl:: Screw you, you fat ginney!
Carl Look-alike #1: You want to go?
Carl: Sorry!
Carl Look-alike #1: You want to go?
Carl: Sure, bubba.
[Carl and his look-alike shove and argue some more]
Frylock: See? It works! Kind of.
Carl Look-alike #1: Make a move. Make a move.
Carl: You like what I do?! How about when I do this?!
[Another car pulls up]
Carl Look-alike #2: What do we got, a gang-bang going on over here, you two?
Carl Look-alike #1: What did you say?
Carl Look-alike #2: Yeah, I said it, honey.
Carl Look-alike #1: Come on over here and say that. You step on my friend's lawn, I'm gonna bust your ass!
Carl: Your car is badass.
Carl Look-alike #2: Yeah, I know.
Carl: Too bad you're a pussy.
Carl Look-alike #2: You want some of this?
Carl: Yeah, I'll take some.
Carl Look-alike #2: D'you wanna go?
Carl: Yeah, I'll take some more.
Carl Look-alike #1: Who is this guy?
Carl: Oh, you want some now? What, you getting bored back there?
Carl Look-alike #1: Make a move, asshole!
Carl:Is that all you got? 'Cause I just took some of it.

Zucotti Manicotti[edit]

Zucotti Manicotti: You only left a dollar?
Crimson Tightwad: Well, she was really slow with...the bread
Zucotti Manicotti: You fiend! Unhand three more dollars!
Crimson Tightwad: C'mon, three?
Zucotti Manicotti: She gave you free refills and validated your parking!
Crimson Tightwad: You're right, Zucotti Manicotti. I was wrong to be a cheapskate.
Zucotti Manicotti: You've learned a valuable lesson today, Crimson Tightwad. Let's not be cross with each other. It's time to dance!

Meatwad: I'm sorry Zucotti. I know it ain't part of your manners to shoot somebody in the face. I did what I had to do, you know. And I'm sure you'd respect that if I didn't blow your brains out on the carpet
Master Shake: Meatwad, sometimes heroes have to die. Just like Spartacus and Krull and The Beastmaster. Even E.T.
Meatwad: E.T. phoned home. He-he didn't die
Master Shake: After the credits, he died immediately
Meatwad: No! Not E.T.!
Master Shake: Oh yeah. When his people picked E.T. up on Earth he smelled so much like them little kids that they turned on him and then they ate him while he was still alive
Meatwad: Noooo!

[At the end of the episode, Meatwad is traumatized from his experience with Shake and Zucotti Manicotti]
Frylock: He won't move. He won't talk. He just keeps the wall.
Master Shake: And he doesn't hog the TV anymore. I crushed this deal, holla!
Frylock: Shake, look, you saw the noose made out of shoelaces in his room, didn't you?
Master Shake: I thought that was, like, one of them, uh, you know, Indian dreamcatcher things...that he decided to hang himself with.
Frylock: Yeah well, 'cause of you I gotta push Prozac in his cat food for the next god-knows-how-long, and good luck getting him to eat it!
Master Shake: He gets wet food?! [eats cat food out of a bag] I'm the one who's alive and relevant!

Totem Pole[edit]

Carl: [Trying to sell "Totem Pole" tickets] Eight...bucks a pop. How about that?
Frylock: No
Carl: Four bucks. C'mon.
Frylock: Nope
Carl: I'm gonna eat 95 tickets if you don't buy these!
Frylock: 95 tickets?
Carl: There was a 96 ticket limit online. Figured I could flip 'em at the show. I may have overestimated the vamp for Totem Pole.
Meatwad: Y'can sell 'em Carl. You're a good salesman. I'm hooked and I don't even know what it is
Carl: Fine. Free. Merry Fucking Christmas! 'Cause you got a free Totem Pole show out of this!
Meatwad: You know that ad that says, "The best things in life are free"? I believe it, and that's why I wanna go.
Master Shake: Yeah, me too. I'm the demographic for free, because I'm unemployable

Frylock: Lotta songs about forming human totem poles and shoving heads up asses
Carl: Yeah, they're way into that. Check it out: "Poles on Patrol", "Poles & Souls", "Poleorite", "Glory Pole", that's the seminal album; that's the desert island disc. "Poleing Place", they got very political in that one. "For Whom the Bell Poles", classic. "Polegasm", classic. "How Many Poles to Screw in the Bulb", another classic. "Polenight", "Not Polite to say No to Pole Night", that's their first English-speaking album. "Ringthrust", that's a double album, and it also marks the first time they didn't use the word "Pole" in their album title.

External links[edit]

Preceded by
Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1
Aqua Teen Hunger Force seasons Succeeded by
Aqua TV Show Show
Adult Swim
  [current]     12 oz. Mouse  (2005–06; returning 2020)   · Final Space  (since 2019) · Rick and Morty  (since 2013) ·  Robot Chicken  (since 2005)  ·  Squidbillies  (since 2005)  ·  The Venture Bros.  (since 2003)
  [former]     Aqua Teen Hunger Force  (2001–15)  ·  The Boondocks  (2005–14)  ·  The Brak Show  (2001–03)  ·  China, IL  (2011–15)  ·  Frisky Dingo  (2006–08)  ·  Home Movies  (2001–04)  ·  Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law  (2001–07)  · Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil  (2005–07)  ·  Metalocalypse  (2006–13)  ·  Moral Orel  (2005–08, 2012)  ·  Samurai Jack  (2017)  ·  Sealab 2021  (2001–05)  ·  Space Ghost Coast to Coast  (2001-04)  ·  Stroker and Hoop  (2004–05)  ·  Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!  (2007–2010)  ·  Tom Goes to the Mayor  (2004–06)  ·  Xavier: Renegade Angel  (2007–09)