Aqua TV Show Show
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- Master Shake, Frylock, my little homie Meatwad
- Lotus on the beats, yeah we heavy in the streets
- Squad got the whole planet in the palm of our hands
- It's time for the Aqua TV-
Aqua Teen Hunger Force, (also known by various alternative titles), (2000–15) is an animated television series from the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block. The show follows the exploits of three anthropomorphic fast food items: Master Shake, the milkshake; Frylock, the carton of French fries; and Meatwad, the aptly named wad of meat.
- [Shake picks up Meatwad on a treadmill and throws him through a wall]
- Master Shake: He said stop running on his TREADMILL! [Breathes heavily]
- Frylock: Damn. Uh...Shake?
- Master Shake: The words you're looking for are "Thank" and "You". Put 'em together and they make a nice sound.
- Frylock: You okay out there, Meatwad?
- Meatwad: No, man! He threw me through a damn wall! OOOH, He broke your treadmill.
- Master Shake: So I did, Do something about it.
- Frylock: No... No...
- Master Shake: Yeah that's what I thought.
- Shake's Muscles: Carl! Get your fat ass out here with my muscle juice!
- Master Shake: Are you out of your mind? Listen, when he wakes up, he's gonna kick all our asses.
- Frylock: Not me, I'll be gone. So, he'll take most of his frustration out on you, and he'll be pissed.
- Master Shake: So, this wooden time machine will take me back to before the muscles took over my body?
- Frylock: Well, no. This is known as a veal fattening plant. So, you just get to hangout here all day and the muscles will melt away.
- Master Shake: And you can do this all in one day?
- Frylock: Well, a lot of days.
- Shake's Muscles: Hey, turn on the lights or I'll turn on your head! I'll turn off your head! The lights will go out in your head 'cuz you'll have energy saving balls! I don't know what I'm saying here, but I'm pissed!!
- Frylock: We should go.
- Master Shake: Wait! You can't leave me here! What's gonna entertain me all day?!
- Meatwad: Your new neighbors seem really nice.
- Master Shake: Come on, they're frickin' cows!
- Shake's Muscles: When I get a chance...
- Carl: Go on into the kitchenette. Nuke me up a pepperoni cheddar hot sleeve.
- Master Shake: Then I can be cool like-like you?
- Carl: ...We'll take this one hot sleeve at a time.
- Master Shake: Frylock said it's cool to have responsibilities.
- Carl: No. You know what I say to that? You crush responsibilities like Angus Young at Donnington! 1, 2! 1,2! Follow my Lead!
- Master Shake: I'm stomping mad!
- Carl: YOU ARE IN CONTROL!
- Master Shake: Yeah! I'm really feeling it, Carl!
- Carl: Yeah, that's right. Even though you rent, you own the place.
- Master Shake: Boom-chika-boom-boom!
- Carl: No, you say "Sweet Nectar"! Remember the fundamentals!
- Carl: I don't know why they could've given us the trophies at the thing. I mean, we gotta slip all the way out to Nevada for the trophies? Come on.
- Master Shake: Relax, Dad. They said the place was gonna be the shizat and that they're gonna have some kickass snacks.
- Carl: You've seen the flier? They had slot machines there and they had girls that were smiling as they got out of the pool like real, you know, suggesting stuff. But I don't see no pool.
- Master Shake: I see a fool. (Carl punches Shake; he sobs) Super not cool! And it hurts! And now that guy's gonna see me now and knows that I've been crying.
- Judge: Hey, how's it hanging over there? Is everything "cool"?
- Master Shake: Yeah, hay fever and allergies, they're not the bomb. So what's the deal-o with this 2 bed, 2 bath, y'all?
- Carl: (sounded alarm in the background) Hey, I've seen your flier. And I don't see no slots and I don't see no sluts. But I do see...what is that? Is that a missile?
- Judge: Let's go check out this spacious basement, really quick. I mean "really, really quick". (Missile explosion, growls)
- Carl: What's this?
- Judge: Oh, this? It's a fangworm. (Fangworm growls and breaths heavily) I'mma go get everyone some hummus.
Merlo Sauvignon Blanco
(Master Shakes opens the front door with his key, walks in, with a puffed face, and turns on the light. He sees an angry Frylock, turns the light off, and walks away.)
- Frylock: Turn them back on! (Shake turns the light back on) Where have you been?
- Master Shake: You know I told you I was going to night school. For my diploma?
- Frylock: Oh yeah, you're getting a PhD, alright. In Lies! You smell like clam sauce and horseradish!
- Master Shake: I may have stopped by a restaurant.
- Frylock: You went to the seafood restaurant, didn't you?!
- Master Shake: Of course not. I know I'm allergic to shellfish and it's dangerous for me to eat.
- Frylock: Well, that's good. So I guess I'll just throw away all these jumbo shrimp!
- Master Shake: No, no, wait! Hang on, l-let me throw them away. I'll do it.
- Meatwad: Will you throw away these lobster thermidors I've found in the bushes behind the house?
- Master Shake: No, let's not get rid of those.
- Frylock: And who's bib is this? Hmm?
- Master Shake: I don't know. Listen, can you just wring out that cushion?
- Frylock: Listen to me, Shake. The only way you can stay safe and healthy is to kick shellfish once and for all.
- Master Shake: Totally will, tomorrow fresh start. I'm going cold turkey everybody.
- Frylock: You keep saying that, but what happens tomorrow, huh? When a dozen oysters ain't enough, and some cool guy gives you a free prawn on the house? The next thing you know, you're out on the street. Turning tricks for crawfish, pinching the tail, sucking the head.
- Master Shake (sobs) You're right, it's time to make a change! (sobbing continues)
- Frylock: Okay, we'll get you the help you need.
- Merlo: Suck Him Dry!
(Merlo, Shake, and Meatwad Leaves for Golf)
- Frylock: Wait a minute, You're not The Mind Mosquito Are You?
- Mind Mosquito: Yeah it's me Bitch!
- Carl: Friendship ain't about trust. Friendship is about nunchucks.
- Carl: Awfully quiet over there... at the maniac ranch. Maybe they got monoxide poisoning. You know, maybe I should check. Make sure it happened. Ah, I'm talking to myself again. (signs fall by pool) Stay clear of "rocket blast"? What the hell does that mean? Meh, I'm sure it's nothing. (pool lifting) Why's my pool... why's my pool moving?! I JUST SKIMMED ALL THE PUBES OUT OF HERE!
Frylock: Seat Belts? Master Shake: Yep!
- Frylock: Okay Master Shake Meatwad All Rocket Ship are Go! Rocket is Ready! Five, Four, Three, Two, One! We have lift off, y'all! Yeah!
- Meatwad: Touchdown (Carl screaming)
- Frylock: You did put those signs up like I asked you to.
- Master Shake: Yeah, I leaned them up. So, yes.
- Frylock: What do you mean leaned them up?
- Master Shake: You know, I leaned them.
- Frylock: I thought I heard a scream.
- Meatwad: It was like a big ol' scream.
- Master Shake: In space, no I mean no one can hear you scream.
- Frylock: Yeah, no one can hear you scream. Yeah, I know. This rocket is super illegal, man!
- Carl: Someone better be dropping in here, soon. We're out of food in here!
- Frylock: I do have a Doctorate degree in biomedical hypertronics and a Masters in both cryogenic sequencing and thermite plasmatics.
- Interviewer: Wow, I'm very impressed. Can you start right now?
- Frylock: Yeah, uh...sure.
- Interviewer: Great, great. Okay, um, here's your hairnet and gloves.
- Frylock: Thanks. I just have one question about benefits. Are there any?
- Interviewer: Yeah, I mean, the hairnet's beneficial. It keeps hair out of the food.
- Meatwad: Yep I can buy all the cable TV I want
- Carl: What, you outta your mind? You pay money? For cable? *laughs*
- [Master Shake, Meatwad, and Carl turn to the camera]
- Master Shake, Meatwad, Carl: You're stupid.
- Meatwad: Hey, the cable's back on!
- Frylock: Yep. Gave Carl a 12-pack, drank it, then he climb up the pole and hooked up the free cable.
- Meatwad: How was work, Frylock?
- Frylock: Well, I got bit by a bat when I was cleaning out the ranch dressing, had to get rabies shot, got shut down by the city. So, I quit. How was your job?
- Meatwad: It was cool. I've met some nice guys.
- Announcer: Better Buy customers, it is now 9:55. We will be closing in 5 minutes.
- Master Shake: Turn it back on, creep! I'm watching a show here! The show where the animals on the pajamas come to life and help a little boy! That's my show man!
- [The Aqua Teens have witnessed a skinless creature appear after Shake plays a pair of bongos]
- Frylock: What the hell was that thing?!
- Master Shake: The rhythm created it, from probably my magic playing. Like in the um, uh the Matrixes when eh, uh you see the numbers everywhere...Well I'm actually The One.
- [Frylock has shot a hole in Carl's pool]
- Carl: Hey! Dumbass Patrol! How 'bout you stick your palm-palm finger in this friggin' hole? 'Cause I'm in the middle of my water aerobics [pops open a beer].
- Carl: Attention greasy, dirty, stupid, long haired wackadoos, shut down your frickin' jungle music!
- Master Shake: I was just down at the pond feedin' the ducks...baking soda and vinegar. 'Cause I heard that could, you know, potentially blow 'em up.
- Master Shake: Hey bimbo!
- Freda: Oh, me?
- Master Shake: Yeah! I'm talkin' to you, whore! What do you think you're doin' on my turf?
- Freda: Oh, I'm just trying to explode ducks with baking soda and vinegar. [She releases a duck that explodes in mid-air] It appears we have a lot in common
- Master Shake: You're a woman. Women want me. I'm what we have in common. Do you wanna hear my demo, little lady?
- Freda: I would love nothing more
- Frylock: And you said you've "Won this at an auction"?
- Carl: Yeah, I pay Randy $100 for everything inside. Sight unseen.
- Frylock: You know, Carl, sometimes hobos will break into these things... and have like group hobo sex.
- Carl: Nah-ah-ah. You ain't here to crush my dreams, Fryman. You are here to grab the other end of it, if there's like, you know King Tut's tomb or the bones of The Elephant Man or something. (Carl drops his pliers)
- Carl: What's this piece of shit? No, thank you.
- Man: Uh, this looks a little sad for our wedding.
- Carl: You're referring to the squirrel carcass, we'll run a broom through here. The real magic is what's happening in here. Paradise.
- Man: This looks a little different than the pamphlet you had us look at.
- Carl: Yeah, I mean, we had to clear out the forest to make room for the DJ and the dance floor. Look, it's your wedding. You're gonna be so trashed that you ain't gonna remember a thing.
- King Zarfonious: Carl, There's the guy! The difficult, alcoholic giant! How are you, buddy?
- Carl: Get lost, I'm with clients here.
- King Zarfonious: They're gone.
- Carl: Guys, think about it! Someone's booking up real fast!
- Master Shake: [comes home all beat up] I've scored some serious sky miles!
- Frylock: Man, you look terrible, Shake!
- Meatwad: Hey, you're still working on the cure, right?
- Frylock: Uh, no, man. Not today.
- Meatwad: Why the hell not?
- Frylock: 'Cuz I don't feel like it! That's why.
- Meatwad: Hey, how come we need ice? We are in a freezer, ain't we?
- Frylock: Not exactly. You see while you were asleep, I brought the freezer onto a food truck. Then, had that food truck on a cargo plane, and now we're on Jurassic Island.
- Meatwad: Jurassic what?! That's where all the dinosaurs are roaming around looking for human popsicles!
- Frylock: Not what I've heard. Maybe I should talk to my friend, Michael Crichton. See what he has to say.
- Meatwad: Yeah, you do that.
- Ignignokt: Attention Emory and Oglethorpe
- Err: Bow to us!
- Ignignokt: While you were hypersleeping we conquered your race of Plutonians and now you are our slaves
- Emory & Oglethorpe: What?
- Err: Bow to our knees!
- Emory: Ah man
- Ignignokt: Yes, and as your new rulers and kings we have a new mission for you
- Oglethorpe: Oh no
- Err: Shush! We do the talking! [chugs a beer] And the drinking!
Aqua Something You Know Whatever
|Aqua Teen Hunger Force seasons||Succeeded by|
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever (season 11)
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