A Really Haunted Loud House
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A Really Haunted Loud House is a 2023 live-action adaptation Halloween television film based on the animated television series.
Dialogue
[edit]- Lincoln: It's 24 hours until Halloween, and Clyde and I are super pumped for trick-or-treating.
- Clyde: After years of research, we have finally created the ultimate route to maximize candy consumption. We are gonna crush our candy record.
- Luna: Is your spine tingling?
- Lincoln: Definitely. My bones are chilled to the bone.
- Lincoln: Why do I always have to be your mannequin?
- Lola: You have a perfect model's body. Very little muscle structure.
- Leni: And those hips!
- Xander: Mom, I don't wanna get a filling. I'm supposed to do my fit check in front of the bowling alley.
- Mrs. Coddington: You're going in there. Today's the only day Dr. Miller can see you.
- Lincoln: Actually, Dr. Miller can't see you today. My sister scared Barbara, and she stabbed him in the cheek with a giant needle.
- Barbara: [goes up to the desk] He's right.
- [Mrs. Coddington scoffs in disbelief over this]
- Xander: Bet. I'm outta here.
- Lana: Say hello to the Candy Cannon Extreme. I built this baby using an old leaf blower, a telescope, and the motor from Mr. Grouse's lawnmower.
- [The Action News Team is hanging out up in the attic]
- Zach: I can't believe you guys got invited to Xander Coddington's party.
- Stella: They're epic.
- Liam: He's that Internet feller. Must be nice.
- Stella: He doesn't even know I exist.
- Zach: He doesn't even know my name.
- Clyde: He knew my name.
- Rusty: Did he know my name?
- Lincoln: He remembered you pooped your pants in dodgeball.
- Rusty: Yes! [points to Liam] In… [then Stella] Your… [then Zach] Faces.
- Liam: In your gym shorts.
- [Halloween Night]
- Lori: Everybody in their places?
- Luan: Check.
- Lana: Check.
- Luna: Check.
- Rita: Check.
- Lynn: Check.
- Lisa: Check.
- Leni: Check.
- Lola: Check.
- Lucy: Check.
- Lily: Check. Meow.
- Lori: Candy cannon?
- Lana: Cannon ready, waiting for candy.
- Lori: Lynn, how's it coming with the headless horseman?
- Lynn: Still headless. [eats some candy] Mmm. Ketchup.
- Lana: Mom, where's the candy?
- Rita: [enters Lori and Leni's room with an unusual box; sighs] After our disastrous trip to the dentist, I realized the error of our ways. No more cavities. So this year, we're giving away toothbrushes. [dumps out toothbrushes and toothpaste from the box and into the cannon in slow-motion]
- Lana: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [echoes]
- Rita: Oh, yeah. I got a bunch more. [leaves]
- Lana: This is bad.
- Luan: [as Franken-coconuts] Happy Halloween, my friends! Hope you're creeping it real!
- Fairy Girl: [unimpressed] Toothbrushes?
- Louds: Toothbrushes?!
- Fairy Girl: And toothpaste?
- Bear Boy: [unimpressed] Seriously?
- Lori: [trying to cover it up] No, no, no, it's just a little candy mix-up. [angrily on comm to Lana] Where are the treats?!
- Rita: I threw it away. [chuckles] Don't forget to brush!
- Bear Boy's Mom: Don't tooth-shame my kid!
- Rita: Uh-oh.
- Crowd: [resuming chanting] CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!
- Lori: Code Red. WE HAVE A HALLOWEEN EMERGENCY!
- Liam: We've got a full moon, it's Halloween, and still no cryptids.
- Stella: Hey, where's Zach?
- Zach: [emerges emerges from the ground, disguised as moss and startling his friends] Hey.
- Rusty: How long were you there?!
- Zach: Hard to tell. Fell asleep. Probably a good hour.
- Lincoln: Clyde, how did we screw this up so bad?
- Clyde: Hey, I was just rockin' out. You're the one who launched a microphone at Xander's forehead.
- Lincoln: Yep. We blew it.
- Clyde: You blew it.
- Lincoln: Hey, at least we knocked out a famous influencer. That'll be a cool story to tell someday.
- Clyde: [sarcastically] Yeah, to all the parties we're not invited to.
- [Everyone's phones suddenly chimes, as does Lincoln and Clyde's]
- Johnny: Guys, you're not gonna believe this. Some house is giving away toothbrushes instead of candy. This is outrageous!
- Xander: [fed up] Why is everyone pushing dental care?! I'm so sick of... dental care!
- Leni: So, I'm not exactly sure what's going on here. But I do know it's not good.
- Lynn: So not good.
- Lola: We could build a time machine and go back in time before you handed out those toothbrushes.
- Rita: Helping or hurting, Lola?
- Lisa: They so much as lay a finger on Esmeralda, they will feel the wrath of Lisa Loud!
- Lily: Wrath!
- Todd: No one cares about that pumpkin.
- Luan: Todd!
- Todd: What? We were all thinking it.
- Xander: [posting a live video on his phone] This house needs to remodel. FIRE!
- [The Xander Nation kids start throwing toilet paper around the Loud House]
- Lily: Toilet paper!
- Lana: We're under attack!
- Rusty: Listen up you over-sized hairball. We are highly-skilled werewolf hunters. Specially trained and laser-focused. Ooh, candy corn!
- Lisa: [sees that Esmeralda is missing while cleaning up the mess] ESMERALDA! [inside the house, in the kitchen] We have to call the police!
- Luna: I don't think the police care about a pumpkin.
- Lisa: We'll file a missing person report.
- Lucy: She's not a person.
- Todd: Preach, girl.
- Lily: Lincoln in pumpkin.
- Lola: Not now, Lily.
- Leni: I have a video.
- Lori: Not now, Leni.
- Lisa: What kind of person would want to hurt Esmeralda?
- Todd: [as everyone looks at him] I have an alibi.
- Lana: Yeah, right, dude. Sure.
- Lily: Lincoln in pumpkin.
- Rita: Not now, Lily.
- Lincoln: The junkyard. Where cars come to die and fear comes to live.
- Clyde: I can't believe I suggested this place for a Recycling Club field trip.
- Paul: Crushin' is what I do, baby!
- Xander: Then fire up that crusher and let's teach that toothbrush house a lesson!
- Lynn Sr.: So, I'm not a werewolf?
- Louds: No!
- Lynn Sr.: I just wanna go home and take a bath and eat a big, round cookie.
- Rita: We don't have time for that.
- Lynn Sr.: But I really want a big, round cookie.
- Rita: Your son and his best friend are in a pumpkin in a car crusher!
- Leni: And it's being live streamed.
- Lynn Sr.: The cookie can wait.
- Luan: Lincoln's gonna get squashed…in a giant squash.
- Luna: Too soon, Luan!
- Luna: Back off, pranksters.
- Rita: [exits Vanzilla] Whoo! [laughs] What a rush! Don't you ever drive like that.
- Xander: Who the heck are you?!
- Lori: We're your worst nightmare.
- Jenna: What? [The other Louds exit Vanzilla and they all hold up toothbrushes] The toothbrush people.
- Lucy: Yeah, and we've come to kick some butt.
- Lincoln: [popping out from Esmeralda's mouth] That's my family!
- Jenna: What?
- Louds: Lincoln!
- Clyde: [also popping out] I'm over there a lot too!
- Paul: Bro, we have one rule. [points to a sign that reads: "NO people in the crusher!"]
- Rita: That's a good rule.
- Xander: So you attacked your own home?!
- Lincoln: Yeah, but I wish I hadn't. I let my family down. All because I wanted to be in with you and your cool group. But you know what? Nothing's more important than my family.
- Clyde: Truth, Lincoln.
- Lori: We love you, Linc.
- Xander: So you double-crossed me! I got covered in soy sauce and thrown into a coffin because of you?! You're gonna pay for that. [turns to the Loud family] And so is your family. Xander Nation, assemble!
- Lucy: Release the beast.
Cast
[edit]- Wolfgang Schaeffer – Lincoln Loud
- Jahzir Bruno – Clyde McBride
- Lexi Dibenedetto – Lori Loud
- Eva Carlton – Leni Loud
- Sophia Woodward – Luna Loud
- Catherine Ashmore Bradley – Luan Loud
- Annaka Fourneret – Lynn "LJ" Loud Jr.
- Aubin Bradley – Lucy Loud
- Ella Allan – Lola Loud
- Mia Allan – Lana Loud
- Lexi Janicek – Lisa Loud
- August Michael Peterson – Lily Loud
- Jolie Jenkins – Rita Loud
- Brian Stepanek – Lynn Loud Sr., voice of Todd
- Martín Fajardo – Xander Coddington
- Gavin Maddox Bergman – Liam Hunnicutt
- Trinity Jo-Li Bliss – Stella Zhau
- Mateo Castel – Zach Gurdle
- Nolan Maddox – Rusty Spokes
- Kevin Chamberlin – Phillip "Flip" Fillipini
