The Loud House (season 9)

Main: Seasons 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Movies: The Loud House Movie / A Loud House Christmas / A Really Haunted Loud House / The Casagrandes Movie / No Time to Spy: A Loud House Movie | The Casagrandes (Seasons 1 2 3) | The Really Loud House

The Loud House (2016–present) is an American animated television series created by Chris Savino for Nickelodeon. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

Episode 1

Crystal Ballin' [9.1a]

Lucy: Hey, Lynn. I have my crystal ball out. Do you wanna see your future?

Lynn: Right. Yeah. Thanks, Luce, but I already know exactly what it's gonna look like. I'm gonna be triple sport pro-athlete, have five championship rings, three deodorant commercials, two Christmas movies, and my own cereal: Crunchy Junk. Yep. I've got it all figured out.

Lynn: My future is terrible! I'm not even on the team! I'm Crikey's personal sweat wiper!

Lucy: Don't worry. It's possible my crystal ball isn't accurate.

Lola: [carrying a big trophy] That glass ball is 100% accurate, Lucy! I did end up winning the pageant after everyone else got food poisoning. Thanks again for the reading. [walks off to her room, next door]

Lynn: Told you! My future is gonna be messed up for sure! I bet this is all because I missed practice today for that dentist appointment! Who cares about plaque anyway?!

Lucy: Don't panic. This isn't necessarily your future, it's always evolving.

Lynn: Darn straight! I'm gonna make sure it evolves the way I want it to. Time to start practicing.

Lisa: What in the name of cryogenics are you doing?!

Lynn: Icing my muscles. It's good for the body. [chuckles nervously and screams]

Lynn: Yes! Still got a family, but no Rusty in sight. Finally, my future is exactly how I wanted!

Lynn: [carrying the refrigerator out of the kitchen and upstairs to her room; to her family] I'm gonna stay locked in my room until my future starts. See you in 10 years!

The Most Dangerous Gamer [9.1b]

Episode 2

Merry Diss-mass [9.2a]

Lola: Sorry your "boyfriend" from Switzerland hasn't arrived yet.

Lynn: Henrik is not my boyfriend, Lola. We're still getting to know each other, and since he and his parents are touring the states, we thought it'd be fun to hang out. He should be here by now!

Just Snow with It [9.2b]

Episode 3

Meet the Purrents [9.3a]

Bobby: [catches Lori trying to hide under his bed as he enters his room] Lori?

Lori: [hesitantly] Surprise! Happy Cat-parent-iversary! [chuckles awkwardly]

Bobby: But it hasn't been a month yet, unless we're celebrating by week. [notices something] Wait a minute. Bland cat salad, boring toys, itchy homemade PJ's? [gasps in outrage shock] You're not here for our early cat-parent-iversary. You're sneaking around my back, taking care of Pepurroni! How could you?!

Hector: [calling off-screen] Bobby, Lola called to say your $100 check bounced, so she's done doing your dirty gato work.

Lori: [also gasps in outrage shock] You were doing the same thing!

Carl: [also calling off-screen] Bobby paid her an hundy? Lori only paid me 80 lousy bucks.

Bobby: [long gasp in complete shock] You had Carl helping you too?!

Lori: Oh, quit gasping. Pepurroni needed one responsible parent.

Bobby: Yeah? Well, I had to make sure he wasn't bored to tears.

Lori: Bored?! I took him to cat yoga!

Bobby: Yeah, not exactly a kitty's favorite past time.

Lori: Oh, yeah?! Then why was he purring his head off?!

Bobby: Was he purring, or was he groaning?

Apartment Complex [9.3b]

Lori: Hey, Mr. Grouse.

Mr. Grouse: [angrily waving a handful of bills] What in tarnation is going on in here, Loud?! I just got the water bill, the electric bill, and the cable bill for this apartment, and they're higher than my blood pressure! And with your family next door, that's really high!

Lori: [looks over the bills; shocked] What?! How could they be so bad?! I'm literally never here! I don't know how this happened! I also… don't have the money to pay them.

Mr. Grouse: [swipes the bills out of her hands] Fine. I'll pay them, but I gotta tell ya, I had no idea you were gonna be such an expensive tenant. [groans] You know what? I think it might be better if you find somewhere else to live.

Lori: [guilty] I totally understand, Mr. Grouse. I'll start looking for a new place right away. I'm really sorry.

[Leni, Lynn and the twins exit the bathroom, all disgraced when they heard everything and realized what they've done]

Lynn: You don't have anything to be sorry for, Lori.

Leni: Yeah. This is all our fault. We're responsible for the high bills.

Lola: We've been using your apartment when you weren't here.

Lori: [snapping at her sisters with a red face of fury] (YOU) WHAT?!

Lana: We knew we were respecting your privacy, but we didn't realize we were ruining your life.

Lynn: To show you how sorry we are, we'll find a way to earn enough money to pay your bills.

Episode 4

Pet Project [9.4a]

[Rita and the twins are checking out groceries at the Super Mart]

Rita: I don't remember needing walnuts… or sardines. Lola. Lana.

Lola: We might've added a few items.

Cashier: [giving Rita a handful of raffle tickets] Congratulations, you've earned 749 promotional raffle tickets.

Rita: So that's what this was all about. [glares at the twins, annoyed] I'll deal with you two later.

Cuff Break [9.4b]

Episode 5

Prom-Com [9.5a]

[Royal Woods High School; Leni and her friends are in a classroom with a sign reading: "Prom planning 2Day!" on the door]

Leni: [excitedly] Good morning, my fellow committee members, and welcome to the offish kick-off of prom season! [presses a button on remote, and a poster rolls down advertising the prom saying "A Night to Remember"]

[A cannon shoots out confetti, and the other members of the committee get excited; Parker is catching some confetti, and eats it]

Jackee: Parker! What did we say about eating confetti?

Parker: [shamefully] I know. It stays in your system for seven years.

Leni: I am the honored to be elected this year's prom committee captain and super excited to work with you all! We have so much to do, but remember, this should be fun. So let's do a "Go, Acorns" on three. [extends her hand; then Mandee, Ellie, and Jackee stack their hands on hers]

Leni, Jackee, Mandee & Ellie: One, two, three! Go, Acorns!!!

Jackee: [catches Parker eating confetti again; sharply annoyed] Parker!

Parker: Sorry. Didn't have time for breakfast this morning. [swallows]

[Later… Leni is at her locker when two students come up]

Punk Girl: Leni! We're so happy that you're our prom captain! I just know it's going the be the best night!

Student: Oh, yeah! I've been looking forward to prom forever! I picked out my tux when I was five. [reveals a tiny green tuxedo] The jacket's a little snug, but it's still a vibe!

Punk Girl: We're gonna make memories that will last a lifetime!

[They run off cheering]

Leni: [giggles and waves] Thanks for your support!

Parker: [enters the gymnasium, carrying a platter] Leni! The prom apps we ordered from Gus's came in! [opens the lid] It's a buttload of the finest meats in Royal Woods!

[The "L", "D", "S", and "H" for the school's name are missing]

Leni: "Roya Woo Igh?" Where are the rest of the letters?

Parker: [revealed to be eating a sausage from the tray, due to skipping breakfast, and quickly hides it behind his back; innocently] Uhh… I dunno.

Leni: Mm-hmm… [puts a question mark next to the Food section on her checklist; runs over to Jackee] Girlies, gimme the decoration deets.

Jackee: We found a bunch of stuff from last year's prom in the janitor's closet. A banner, streamers, plastic flower centerpieces, and a tub of glitter! [Ellie sneezes off-screen and she and Leni look at her, sparkling from the glitter while hanging the banner] Ellie fell in it.

Leni: [nervously] Oh, heh, plastic flowers and glitter. [chuckles] Cool. [puts a question mark next to the Decorations section on the list as well]

Leni: Great work, Prom-Com! Everything looks amaze! We're gonna give our classmates a night to remember!

[As Leni is having trouble sleeping in the middle of the night, floating green heads of three high schoolers, Lori, and Rita, appear and disappear around her, one by one]

Punk Girl: This prom is so not memorable!

Student: The only thing I'll ever remember about this school is the plumbing!

Female Student: I didn't meet my first husband!

Lori: I can't believe my sister ruined everyone's prom!

Rita: As a parent, I've never been so disappointed.

Leni: [waking up with a scream; to Tanya, laying beside her] Tanya, wake up! I gotta get back to school and make prom better, even if it takes all night! Let's get to work!

Mandee: O-M-Gosh, Leni, look at all this!

Jackee: What did you do?

Leni: I'm sorry. You all did everything that I asked, but I need this night to be the most memorable, perfect night for everyone! Ugh!

Jackee: No, Leni. This is magical!

Mandee: Amazing job!

Leni: I ruined prom! [screams and runs out of the gymnasium, bawling]

Scene Steeler [9.5b]

Episode 6

Rough Patch [9.6a]

Lola: [parks her car in the mall's entrance] We're here!

Bernie: Uh… you sure you're allowed to park here?

Lola: Oh, honey, as a platinum shopper, I can park wherever I want. Now, let's hit the stores!

The GLOAT [9.6b]

[Lincoln and his five younger sisters are playing a game of Settlers of Cat-Land outside in front of the garage, waiting for their cousin Shiloh to arrive]

Lincoln: I'm so excited Shiloh's hanging out with us today! I hope he gets here soon.

[Uncle Lance's car soon pulls up]

Lola: Soon enough for you?

Shiloh: [hops out of the car and skates towards his cousins; happily] Hey, guys!

Lincoln: Hey, Shiloh!

Lana: Nice slide!

Lucy: Glad to see you, cousin.

Shiloh: Thanks for letting me hang here today. I didn't want to go to my mom's hot yoga class. It smells funny.

[Lana lifts up her left arm, smelling her stinky armpit and sighs]

Lola: [annoyed] Well, doesn't smell much better here, [gladly] but we're happy to have you.

Lynn: [approaching Lucy and the twins, desperately seeking their help] Guys, I think I broke Shiloh!

Lucy: Embody or spirit?

Lynn: Both! He thinks he's a big loser now because of me! I got so caught up in beating him that… I forgot he's just like…a little kid. He looked up to me. Ugh! Why did I have to be such a jerk (to him)?! [determined] I've gotta fix this before Aunt Sharon comes to pick him up!

Episode 7

Kanga-ruse [9.7a]

[The Actions News Team enter the cafeteria kitchen and find Chef Pat's deep freezer being vandalized]

Lincoln: Chef Pat, what can you tell us, and I don't mean the lunch specials.

Chef Pat: Some heartless monster busted in here and ate all of my… I mean, the school's ice cream! Michigan Cherry, the best flavor! Sorry. I need to a minute. [walks away, sobbing]

Lincoln: I scream, you scream, we all scream for justice.

[The Action News Team rush to the teachers' lounge and find it completely wrecked when they heard Principal Ramirez as they enter]

Stella: This is not looking good for Crikey.

Principal Ramirez: Yes, Miss Zhau, especially since there is poo in the corner! [gags in disgust, then calls for Meryl] Meryl, bring a shovel and a bag!

Meryl: This is not in my job description, ma'am.

[The Action News Team and Crikey have captured the fake Crikey and Liam takes off the mask, revealing to be…]

Action News Team: [shocked gasp] Mr. Button?!

Lincoln: You're the one who trashed the school and framed Crikey?!

Clyde: Why would you do that?!

Mr. Button: [while taking off the kangaroo costume] It was the only way to get your beloved Crikey out of here! He's overshadowed my pep band from day one! We never perform in our own anymore! We're always backup for Crikey. I didn't go to an expensive music school to be less pop songs for a kangaroo! And his treatment around here is frankly ridiculous. Donuts every morning, a key to the teachers' lounge. Oh, give me a break!

Rusty: [video-calling Principal Ramirez on his phone] Did you get all that, Principal Ramirez?

Principal Ramirez: [in her bathrobe and her hair wrapped in a towel] Yes, I did. [sternly] Mr. Button, you and I are gonna have a little talk tomorrow. [to Rusty; annoyed] And Mr. Spokes, I don't know how you had this number, but lose it. [hangs up]

The Walking Bed [9.7b]

Lincoln: [looking through binoculars from his bedroom window, watching Lori waiting outside her apartment for her new mattress to arrive] 9:00 A.M. No sign of delivery, just Lori trying to get gum off her shoe. Yeesh. [to the viewers] I know what this looks like, but I'm not spying on Lori. She ordered a new mattress that's being delivered today, and I'm gonna claim her old one. It's still in great shape! Meanwhile, my mattress has sustained some damage. [zoom out to reveal he's standing on his wrecked mattress] Oh, don't worry, it's just cherry Flippee spillage… [gets a coil caught in his head] And there are coil issues. [shakes his head to get the coil off and hears a truck horn outside] The mattress is here! [walks outside to Lori's apartment as she pushes her new mattress inside] Hey, Lori! Let me help you.

Lori: Nice try, Lincoln. I already gave my old mattress to Leni.

Lincoln: What?! Why Leni?!

Lori: Because she's next in line. It's literally a family rule. Did you forget about the L.L.S.? "Loud Line of Succession?"

Lincoln: Of course not. [cut to him in front of the bookshelf, only to be proven wrong that he did forgot; to the viewers] I definitely forgot about the Loud Line of Succession. [uses Lynn's hockey stick to get the Book of Loud Stuff down from the top shelf] It's right here in the Book of Loud Stuff. Mom and Dad put this together years ago to help solve disputes over our…stuff. Ah, here it is: The L.L.S. [reading] "A handed down item will always go to the next oldest sibling. If that sibling passes on the item, it moves to the next oldest." Wait, that's how I can get the mattress! I just need Leni, Luna, Luan, and Lynn to pass on it. Easy-peasy.

Lincoln: This will keep Lynn busy for hours. [starts a 24-hour timer on his phone and puts it in his pocket as he runs off]

Lynn: Huh? 80% pork, 20% beef. Crispy yet pillowy roll. That's a meatball sub, baby! Oh, yeah! [opens her door and eats the meatball sub]

Lynn: Oh, too many meatball subs. [burps and sighs] Much better. Now, let's see. Where was I? [runs into her room and takes out her old mattress] So long, Sir Sagsalot! And hello realigned back. [walks back into her room, whistling]

Luan: What's with the racket? Mr. Coconuts is on a call with his agent!

Mr. Coconuts: I told you, Marty, I won't work with sock puppets!

Lincoln: If I explain-

Lynn: [slamming Lincoln's head down to the floor] Stinkoln thinks Lori's mattress is now his because of an amendment in that dumb rule!

Episode 8

Ship Wreckers [9.8a]

Writer's Retreat [9.8b]

Episode 9

Hamalot [9.9a]

[Morning at the Petoskey Falls Loud House; Lance is eating a stack pancakes while Sharon drinks her coffee when Shelby, wearing a light-pink cloak, rushes under the table, scurries into the doorway behind her mother, and runs into the kitchen, then opens a drawer of kitchen supplies, and pulls out a colander]

Sharon: Morning, Shelby.

Shelby: You can see me? Huh, this invisibility cape isn't working. Well, don't mind me. I'm just borrowing stuff for my Orcs, Horks, Wizards, and Pork campaign later. This colander would make a great helmet! [runs off into the next room]

Sharon: [takes out her phone as it buzzes while Lance drinks his coffee; shocked] Oh, no. One of my students is having a yoga-mergency!

Lance: [glances at the phone and spits out his coffee; horrified] Yeesh! I didn't know the human body could bend that way.

Sharon: Oh, it can't. I better go help her. Ugh, but I'm supposed to drive Shelby to Royal Woods for that "Orc, Bork, Pork" thing.

Lance: I can drive the Shelbster. It'll give me a chance to get some much-needed daddy-daughter reps in. I feel like we're not connecting, you know, like we used to. [gazes at the photo of his younger self holding up a younger Shelby on the refrigerator] It used to be so much easier when she was little.

Sharon: Ohhh, don't worry, baby. I'm sure that after today, you two will be closer than my head and my feet in hedgehog pose! [curls up like a hedgehog and rolls off-screen]

[Lance and Shelby arrive at Tall Timbers Park in Royal Woods for the Orcs, Horks, Wizards, and Pork, and find Lynn Sr. and Lincoln there, too]

Lynn Sr.: Be that my brother and niece?

Shelby: Lincoln! Uncle Lynn! [runs over to her cousin and uncle, all hugging happily]

Lincoln: Hey, Shelbs!

Lance: Sweet bathrobe, little bro.

Lynn Sr.: Nae, good sir. 'Tis a magic cloak, for I am Hamdalf the Wise. And this is my apprentice, Spare Rib. Ahh, I see you're traveling with the Pork Ranger!

Shelby: Verily! I be a half-orc archer whose prosciutto arrows have slain many a foe! Now to come up with your character, Dad.

Lincoln: [runs over to his father along with Shelby when he comes out of a bush, dazed and groaning] Hamdalf! What happened?

Lynn Sr.: [ashamed] Forgive me, companions. Dumbleboar didn't send me on a quest to faraway lands to seek the gem, yet I have failed.

Shelby: [confused] "Faraway lands"?

Lynn Sr.: Verily. I had to cross I-75!

Shelby: [turns to her father; shocked] Were you trying to get rid of Uncle Lynn?

Lance: [nonchalantly] It was just a misunderstanding.

Grant: [off-screen] You, sir, are a cheater! [comes out of another bush, his hands and feet are tied up with sausages and his wizard costume is gone] This monster broke out of the stocks and tied me up in sausage!

[Lynn Sr. gasp in shock]

Shelby: [hurt] That's not true, Dad. Is it?

Lance: [as Kotaro and Harold glare at him; hesitantly] No, it's n-- [stammers] I don't know. I di-I didn't...

Shelby: [fuming angrily at him for sabotaging the game and deceiving her] Thanks for ruining the game! [runs away]

Lance: Shelby! Wait! [sighs in disappointment to himself as everyone else walks away and comes up to his brother] Well, you win. Shelby officially likes you better.

Lynn Sr.: [confused] What are you talking about?

Lance: I came here to connect with Shelby, but instead, she ends up connecting with you. Thanks, Hambone.

Lynn Sr.: Okay, it's "Hamdalf," and I'm not your problem. You are.

Lance: And what is that supposed to mean?

Lynn Sr.: You haven't been listening to Shelby all day. You've just been doing what you want. This game might seem silly and ridiculous to you, but it's important to her.

Lance: [touched by the wise words] Huh. Wow, you are so right. You really are Hamdalf the Wise. I know what I have to do.

Garbage Dumped [9.9b]

Episode 10

Gags to Riches [9.10a]

[Luan starts to walk to Mr. Grouse's house to tell him about that the lottery ticket she gave him was just a fake]

Rita: [holding a laundry basket; stopping her] Stop! Luan, I need your laundry.

Luan: Okay. Right after I finish this thing.

Rita: No. Right now. I need to do a load of colors before I go to work. [as Luan is about to say something] Please don't make a pun. Just get your laundry.

Luan: [quickly runs upstairs to her room; off-screen] Incoming! [tosses her laundry onto her mother]

Rita: [annoyed] Thanks.

Sole Searching [9.10b]

Episode 11

Hologram Jam [9.11a]

Lincoln: [hears Lola screaming, exits his room, and sees too many of his holograms everywhere around the house] Uh… This is bad.

Lola: [screams as the holograms invade her and Lana's room] LINCOLN! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Lana: AHH! It's a Lincoln-pocalypse!

Lincoln: [kicking the door open; determined] Don't worry. I'm gonna make these holograms holo-gone!

[The Loud sisters all glare madly at their brother after he turns off all the holograms]

Lincoln: [chuckles nervously as he takes a few steps back to the front door, where his parents are standing right behind him] You're (all) probably wondering what's going on.

Rita: Yes, we are.

[Lincoln turns around, seeing them also mad, and Lynn Sr. points to the hologram vacuuming outside the window]

Hologram Lincoln: Just cleaning up!

[Lincoln immediately turns off the hologram with his phone]

Lynn Sr.: [sternly] Well?

Lincoln: [sighs shamefully and confesses] Okay. The truth is… I didn't want to clean, or study. So, I tried to get out of it by making holograms… [Lisa peers behind the couch, clearing her throat, and points to the waiver on the contract he signed] With some help from a David Steele comic.

Rita & Lynn Sr.: [simultaneously shocked and sharped] Elaborate scheme! Called it! Jinx!

Lincoln: I'm sorry. But I sure learned my lesson. We can probably just let this one go, right?

Rita & Lynn Sr.: [still sharped] No. Jinx again!

[Later… Lincoln is in his room, finishing up cleaning as he tosses a Flippee cup into his trash can, completely piled up]

Lincoln: Okay, studying is done, my room is all clean, now all that's left is Luan's comedy show.

Sick as a Dad [9.11b]

[Morning at the Loud House; The siblings bolt outside when their father sneezes loudly and uncontrollably while coming down with a cold]

Lori: I heard Dad sneeze! Get inside!

[The siblings quickly barge into her apartment]

Lola: Ugh. Dad is the worst when he gets a cold. He turns into such a baby. [to Lily] No offense, Lily.

[Lily shrugs, not caring]

Lori: Okay, guys, don't panic. We can all stay here until Dad is well again. [grabs her bag] I'll run to the grocery store and get supplies, so we can hunker down. [falls on the floor after bumping into Rita as she appears]

Rita: There you all are. Listen, your dad is a bit under the weather, and I have to get to work. I need you (all) to take care of him till I get home. [the siblings all groan] I know he can be a little… dramatic when he's sick.

Lynn Sr.: [sneezing off-screen] I can't feel my face.

Rita: All you have to do is make sure he hydrates and rest.

Lucy: Fine.

Lori: Sure, Mom.

Rita: Thanks, kids. I appreciate it. [leaves]

Lori: We can do this, guys. As long as we work together… [catches Lola trying to sneak out through the window] Uh, Lola, no sneaking out the window.

[Lola closes the window and grumbles grumpily]

Episode 12

Swimming Fools [9.12a]

[Super-hot summer day at the Loud House; Clyde, Liam, Rusty, Zach, Stella and Kara are all in the backyard, sharing a pool while using fans to cool themselves down from the heat]

Liam: Ooh-wee. It is hotter than a pig in a pepper patch.

Lincoln: [coming out the back door, carrying a bucket of ice] Okay, I got the ice! Get ready to chill. [accidentally trips on the fan's plug and falls on the ground, dropping the ice bucket on him as it melts]

Clyde: There's got to be a better way to stay cool.

Stella: [smiles] Actually… [realizes] Oh, no. Never mind.

Lincoln: What?

Liam: Come on, tell us.

Zach: Spill it, Zhau.

Stella: [giving in] Okay, fine. Know how I'm neighbors with Principal Ramirez? [her friends all nod yes] Well, I'm housesitting for her this weekend while she's at some teacher's conference, and… she has a pool! [her friends all talk at once with excitement] Technically, she never said I could use it. I'm just supposed to water the plants and feed her birds and stuff… [shrugs] But I guess I could ask. [takes out her phone]

Lincoln: I don't see why she wouldn't let us.

Rusty: Please, Stella, I feel like I'm melting! [groans while sinking slowly into the pool]

Stella: [types a text to Principal Ramirez] There. Text sent. Now we wait.

Zach: Uh, guys? Can we wait at her house? I think Lily wants her pool back.

[Lily is shown in a bucket of water nearby, scowling angrily at them for using her pool; Later… the gang arrives at Principal Ramirez's house and Stella enters the backyard, feeding Principal Ramirez's three parrots some bird food]

Red Parrot: Stella's here.

Blue Parrot: [squawks] Hello!

Stella: Hey, guys. Here you go. [pours their food into the bowl]

[Her friends show up and gasp in amazement at the pool]

Lincoln: Ooh! This is exactly what we needed! [to Stella] Did she text back yet?

Stella: [looks at the texts on her phone, no reply] Negative. We shouldn't go in until we hear back, so (in the meantime), just hang out until then. [walks backwards into the house]

Clyde: [blowing his whistle] No running! [his friends all look at him, baffled] Sorry. Reflexes. My dads made me get lifeguard training before I was allowed to be alone.

[As Lincoln and his friends enjoy themselves in Principal Ramirez's pool…]

Clyde: [carrying a tray with three glasses of tropical smoothies he made] Who's ready for more of Chef Clyde's famous tropical smoothies? [gives one to Stella] Cheers to Stella, the pool party hostess with the mostess.

Rusty: Rusty Spokes Cannonball! [dives in; sighs] This is the life!

Stella: [takes out her phone as it chimes] You guys, Principal Ramirez finally texted back!

Lincoln: It's about time! Make sure to thank her for us.

Stella: [looks at Principal Ramirez's text and reacts in horrified shock] Uh, guys? She texted a thumbs-down emoji, an angry face emoji, and an explosion emoji. She super does not want us in the pool!

Clyde: Oh, no!

Stella: [looks back at her phone, getting another text] She sent another text. Car emoji, "Back in an hour", clock emoji. [frantically] EVERYBODY OUT!

[After cleaning out the pool and putting an end to their pool party, Principal Ramirez's parrots start repeating the gang's words just as Lincoln and his other friends are about leave the house so Stella can continue her housesitting duties]

Lincoln: [to Stella] Don't be nervous. There's no way Ramirez will know we used the pool.

Red Parrot: [squawks; repeating Lincoln's words] There's no way Ramirez will know we used the pool.

Clyde: Did they just--?!

Green Parrot: [squawks; repeating Zach's words] Pool party!

Stella: [worriedly] They're repeating what we said!

Zach: Those featherheads are gonna rat us out!

Kara: Oh, no, they won't! [takes out a roll of duct tape to shut their beaks, scaring them]

Stella: [swipes the duct tape out of Kara's hands] You're not taping their beaks shut, Kara.

[The three parrots sigh in relief]

Lincoln: Wait, guys, there's no reason why Ramirez would think they were talking about us.

Red Parrot: [repeating Rusty's words] Rusty Spokes Cannonball!

Kara: Phew. It's just Rusty.

Rusty: [offended] Kara! Not cool, dawg!

Green Parrot: [repeating Clyde's words] Stella, the pool party hostess with the mostess! [squawks]

Blue Parrot: [squawks; repeating Clyde's other words] Chef Clyde's tropical smoothies!

Kara: [sighs] We're toast.

Clyde: Welp, there goes my recommendation to UFM.

Stella: No. I'm the one she trusted, and it was my idea. I'll tell her it was all my fault.

Rusty: [when the green parrot repeats his words; frustrated] Why am I being singled out?!

Rusty: [holding a birdcage with a blanket covering it, after sending a picture of Principal Ramirez's parrots to his cousin Derek] Cousin Derek comes through again. I sent him a picture and he got three identical birds in under 30 minutes!

Stella: I still don't feel good about replacing Principal Ramirez's birds.

Lincoln: It's only until Lisa can wipe the memory. We can sneak them back here next week.

Rusty: Behold! [pulls the blanket off the birdcage, revealing three not-so-good-looking birds]

Stella: Rusty, these birds look nothing like Ramirez's!

Rusty: Relax. Cousin Derek also sold me bird paint. [holds up three cans of bird paint with a logo of parrot (which almost looks like Sergio); paints the three birds to look identical to Principal Ramirez's] Oh, missed a spot. Done!

Stella: I must admit, they don't look that bad, if you squint.

Italian Bird #1: Buongiorno! (translation: Good morning!)

Italian Bird #2: Come stai? (translation: How are you?)

Stella: [dumbfounded] Rusty, these birds speak Italian!

New York Bird: Yo, forget about it.

Clyde: Not that one. He's from New York.

Stella: Either way, Principal Ramirez is gonna know they're not her birds! [pulls out her phone, getting a text] It's her! "Five minutes away", car emoji, smiley face emoji.

Zach: She's really going hard on the emojis.

Stella: Welp, guess I'll have to face the music.

Lincoln: No, we all will.

New York Bird: How you doing?

Clyde: Not great, but thanks for asking.

Stage Combat [9.12b]

Luan: [approaches the garage and sees Lucy and Lisa dancing] Whoa, what's up with you two?

Lisa: Luna played her number for us, and it really got my gluteus moving to the maximus!

Lucy: [stops dancing] Gasp. [resumes] Is this what it feels like to be... alive? [dances in a background of a blue sky with a sun and flower with cute faces; snaps herself out of it and shudders, feeling dizzy, and runs off inside] I need to go lie down in my coffin for a while.

[Lincoln and his five sisters are all in the dining room, eating chicken pot pie for lunch at the table while Luna and Luan sit on opposite sides, glaring at each other]

Lola: [sensing some drama between them] So, how's your act going, Luan?

Luan: I don't know, Lola. Why don't you ask Luna how my act is going? [stabs her fork into her pie, crossly, splattering it all over Lincoln's face]

Luna: [squirting ketchup on hers; also cross] What's that supposed to mean? [bangs the ketchup, squirting it onto Lucy's head]

Luan: Oh, I think you know.

Lincoln: [sighs; to Leni, Lucy and Lola] Ponchos out, people. [they duck under the table and pop back up nervously, all wearing yellow ponchos]

Luan: Hey, Leni, can you pass the chicken pot spy? Oh, sorry. Pie?

Luna: Huh! Excuse me. I don't like your drone. Oops, I mean, tone.

Lola: I knew there'd be drama! [takes out a bucket of popcorn] Good thing I came prepared.

Luan: Okay, real talk! What the heck happened to us supporting each other?! I mean, spying on me? Seriously?!

Luna: [fed up] Give me a break, dude. I caught you doing the same exact thing! Admit it. [bangs the table] All you care about is winning!

Luan: [bangs the table, also fed up] Like you're any better!

Leni: [confused] Am I supposed to pass the chicken pot pie or not?

Luna: You know what? Whatever. From now on, it's every sister for herself! [walks off into the kitchen, having enough]

Luan: Fine! Works for me! [walks off into the living room, also having having enough]

[On the day of the artist grant competition… Luna and Luan have all their stuff packed in Vanzilla]

Luan: [as Luna struggles to stuff her fog machine into the back, making the four Coconuts puppets fling out of their car seats] Hey! Your fog machine just gave my puppets whiplash!

Luna: Fine! I'll put it in the passenger seat!

Luan: [gasps] That's my seat! Why don't you just take out this amp?! [takes the amp out and tosses it away]

Luna: [gasps] Why don't you take out your pogo-cycle?! [takes out the pogo-cycle and tosses it away as well]

[The two glare at each other's faces and growl crossly]

Boris: [walking over] And where will Boris sit?

Summer Camp: Ticked Off (Episode 13)

[Vanzilla arrives at Camp Mastadon where the Louds and Clyde are staying for the summer]

Lincoln: We made it!

Leonard: Here they are! [gives his grandkids a big hug] Welcome to camp, family! Settle in!

Lincoln: My family and Clyde are spending the summer at Camp Mastodon. [tries to pull his orange suitcase out of the luggage only to cause it to collapse on top of him] My older sisters get to be camp counselors…

Leonard: [giving his five older granddaughters their camp counselor uniforms] Here. You each get a special T-shirt that lets the kids know you're in charge! [Luna rips the sleeves off hers] Luna! That was brand new!

Luna: Now it has style!

Lincoln: Dad's gonna be camp cook… Mom wants to revive The Mastadon Minute.

Rita: [reading the newspaper's headline] "New invention hits mess hall: The toaster."

Lincoln: The rest of us get to be campers. We're all so excited!

[Lincoln and Clyde enter the Tick bunk and meet their new bunkmates: Marshall and Iggy]

Lincoln: Hello, fellow Ticks! I'm Lincoln, and this is Clyde. [notices the Rip posters] Holy hardcore! You guys are Rip fans too?

[The four boys all imitate bird calls]

Marshall: Only hardcore hardcore fans can do Rip's macaw call! Welcome to the Tick bunk. I'm Marshall. That's Iggy.

Iggy: I'm a Rip Hardcore collector. Check out my latest score: A wooden recorder that Rip whittled out of the bark from a mango tree!

Lincoln & Clyde: [awestruck] Whoa...!

[Iggy starts playing a tune of the recorder, which sounds really bad for Marshall's reaction]

Clyde: Oh, that reminds me. A present my dads gave me: [puts it on the nearby dresser] Rip's Tips of the Day mini-calendar!

Marshall: [flips the calendar open to the current month] Check out today's tip: "You can make a sail out of underpants."

Clyde: Does it specify whether that's boxers or briefs? Ah, doesn't matter… I'm wearing both!