The Loud House (season 1)

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The Loud House (2016–present) is an American animated television series created by Chris Savino for Nickelodeon. The series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of an accident-prone boy named Lincoln Loud, who survives as the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.

Episode 1

Left in the Dark [1.1a]

Lincoln: It's finally here! The live season finale of the greatest show ever! All right, I know you're probably saying to yourself, 'Lincoln, with ten sisters, there's no way you're going to get to watch your favorite show.' And, you'd be right. Every Sunday at 8, it's the same thing. But tonight, I have a plan.

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Lincoln: See, guys? I told you. There's nothing to be afraid of. [gasps]

Lori: What's it?

Clyde: [on walkie talkie] Lincoln, Lincoln!

Lincoln: It's a ghost and it knows my name! [all scream] I'll save you sisters! AAH! [The lights turn on; Lincoln is attacking the laundry basket] Hiya! Take that, evil spirit!

Get the Message [1.1b]

Lori: There's only one rule in this house: Stay OUT of my bedroom! If I catch you in here again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel! No, not you, Bobby. One sec, okay?

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Lori: If you want our couple name to be Lobby, you're going to have to show a little- [notices Lincoln's letter on the floor] What's this? "Why Lori is the worst sister ever?" [gasps] Bobby, I gotta go. I'm about to turn Lincoln into a human pretzel! [Lincoln jumps as Lori bursts out of the bathroom] LINCOLN! WHAT IS THIS?!

Lincoln: Well, it's time to do the official dance of the Loud House: the Running Man! [dances away from Lori's wrath]

Lori: When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna- [Luna rocks, censoring Lori's rant of rage]

Episode 2

Heavy Meddle [1.2a]

Lincoln: "Hey, Luan."

Luan: "Hey, Lincoln. What do you think of this joke? If I were you, I'd go for the baboon!"

Lincoln: "I don't get it."

Luan: "Oh! Well, that's just the punchline. I still gotta think of the setup."

[Lincoln heads up the stairs and makes it to the door to his room]

Rita: "Lincoln, honey! I need you to take out the trash!"

Lincoln: "Okay, Mom! 5 minutes!"

Rita: "Not 5 minutes! Now!"

Lincoln: "I will! Just give me three minutes!"

Lynn Sr.: "Lincoln, listen to your mother!"

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Lincoln: "What is happening?"

[His sisters release from the hug]

Lori: "When a girl picks on you, that only ever means one thing: she likes you!"

Sisters: "AAH!!!"

Lincoln: "That's ridiculous! She shoved a sandwich down my pants! I was picking sesame seeds out of my butt for days!"

Sisters: "Awwwwww!!!"

Leni: "So romantic..."

Lori: "That's a classic."

Lincoln: "You guys are nuts! She hates me! I'm gonna meet her today and give her a piece of my mind!"

Lori: "You need to give her a piece of your heart instead."

Lincoln: "What?!"

Leni: "I think he needs to kiss her."

Lincoln: "WHAT?!"

---

Lynn: "Go get her, romeo."

Lori: "You so got this, little bro."

Lola: "Aw, our little Lincoln!"

Lana: "All grown up."

[Leni has a trash lid on her head, believing Lincoln's lie]

Leni: "All the bridesmaids should wear these hats at Lincoln's wedding. These are ALL the rage right now."

[Lincoln steps outside, marches up to the bully, and kisses her.]

Sisters: "Awwwwww!!!"

[The bully punches him in the face.]

Sisters except Lucy: "Ooh!"

Making the Case [1.2b]

Lincoln: [as his sisters furiously rat out at him] Wait, wait, wait! Let me explain!

Lori: [enraged] You've got exactly three seconds before we pulverize you!

[Lynn cracks her knuckles, preparing to pulverize Lincoln and Lisa starts her timer]

Lincoln: There was this video contest at school and I really wanted to win!

Lola: [incredibly outraged] You showed my sleep face for some stupid CONTEST?!

Lincoln: I just wanted a trophy to put in the case like you guys!

Luna: [firmly] You think you deserve a trophy for that, bro?!

Lincoln: No. I don't deserve it. Look! I'll delete the video!

Lucy: Too late, Lincoln. The damage has already been done.

Lynn: You made me look like a fool!

Lucy: You made me look like a freak.

Lori: You made me look like I fart! And for the record, it was these shoes! See? [tries to make farting noise but fails] Of course it's not working now.

[Lincoln's sisters walk upstairs to their rooms as Lincoln chases after them]

Lincoln: Lori, I'm sorry! Wait! Luna, let me explain!

Luna: Can't hear you, bro! [closes her door]

Lincoln: Leni, Lori, I'm sorry!

Lori: You literally disgust me!

Leni: Yeah! [bumps her head as Lori pulls her in]

Lincoln: Lola, Lana, please!

Lola: You're uninvited to my birthday party FOREVER!

[She slams the door, then Lana opens the door and he thinks she forgives him]

Lana: I wanna slam it, too! [slams the door]

Lincoln: Lisa! Lisa? [A note slides outside Lisa's door, and Lincoln reads it] "Vengeance shall be mine." [shudders and moves to the next door] Guys, come on! I'm your brother!

[Lynn growls and walks away]

Lucy: I have no brother! I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. [slams door]

---

Lincoln: [after sadly walking home from school] I sure hope that worked. [opens the door, only to find that his sisters are still furious] It didn't work.

Lori: [sternly] Lincoln...

Lincoln: [remorsefully] I know I embarrassed you and I can't undo it, and I'm sorry, but the least I could do was embarrass myself right along with you, that way we'd all be even!

Lynn: Even? You think this makes us even?

Lincoln: Well, I was trying to...

Lynn: Yours was way worse!

Lori: [joyfully] Yeah, that video was hysterical!

[Lincoln's sisters surround him and ensure him that they forgive him]

Lincoln: So, we're good?

Lucy: We're good...brother.

Luan: Sorry you didn't win the trophy.

Lori: But we really appreciate what you did and thought you deserved something. [hands him a tiny trophy]

Lincoln: Wow. Thanks, guys. [runs to the case and places the trophy in his spot] "Most Improved Brother." [to the viewers] I did it. My sisters no longer despise me, Cristina's switching classes, and I finally made the case.

[Another flatulent sound occurs and Lori's sisters look at her suspiciously]

Lori: It was my shoe!

Episode 3

Episode 4

Project Loud House [1.4a]

[The Loud sisters are posing still to create a life sized version of Lincoln's project]

Lincoln: In conclusion, in my family, every day is a challenge. But you can be sure that when I need them, my sisters will always be there for me. All of them. And sure, life in the Loud House can be summed up in one word: chaos. But I love that chaos. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Mrs. Johnson: That was a fantastic report, Lincoln. I'm giving you an A. [gets drenched by Luan's pail of water] Make that an A-minus.

Luan: Pailed it!

In Tents Debate [1.4b]

[Lincoln is having breakfast, and Team Beach starts making some modifications to the I Screamer by spinning it and pushing it too fast]

Lincoln: Guys! Guys! Too fast! Too fast, guys! Guys, too fast! I'M GONNA HURL!

[Team Beach gets out of the way and Lincoln pukes and vomits under the table. Team Tippy arrive through the doorway]

Lincoln: Word of advice. Blowing chunks does not make me want to vote for Dairyland!

Episode 5

The Sweet Spot [1.5a]

Lincoln: Ah, road trips. That beloved tradition of families everywhere. Tomorrow, the Loud family is going on a trip of our own. Sounds fun, right? Not with thirteen of us packed into the family wagon. Or, as we affectionately call it, Vanzilla.

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Lori: Well, if that's the best seat, then I should get it. I'm the oldest.

Luna: You'd just barf all over it, dude! I should have it!

Lola: Beauty before age.

Lana: Yeah! So I should get it!

Luna: That seat belongs to me!

Leni: NO, I WANT IT!

Lincoln: You can yell all you want, but I'm already in the seat, and possession is 9/10 of the law.

Lynn: You're gonna possess a bruise in a minute!

[The sisters glare at Lincoln, really angry]

Lana: GET HIM!

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Lynn Sr.: [weeping] That was my first car, and my dad's first car, and his dad's first car!

Rita: [enraged] ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, BACK INSIDE! THE ROAD TRIP IS OFF! YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND THIS WEEKEND SITTING TOGETHER IN THE LIVING ROOM UNTIL YOU LEARN TO GET ALONG!

Kids: Aw!

A Tale of Two Tables [1.5b]

Lincoln: Beans, beans, the musical fruit! The more you eat, the more you- [farts] Everybody, now!

Lynn Loud Sr.: Lincoln Loud, that is enough!

Rita: I thought you were ready for the grownup table, but clearly, you are not.

Episode 6

Driving Miss Hazy [1.6a]

Lincoln: Did you pass?

Cop: No, she did not! She did, however, refuse to obey the speed limit, fail to use her turn signals, and she redirected the test vehicle toward the mall, where she proceeded to hip-check and tackle Mrs. Jelinsky! [Mrs. Jelinsky is yelling at Leni]

Leni: It's not fair! When I did all that in the game, I won! You guys need to get your rules straight!

No Guts, No Glori [1.6b]

Lincoln: In this house, we call her the Queen of...

Lori: NO! NO MUSIC! [unplugs Luna's axe] NO MUD PIES! [Trashes Lana's mud pie] NO-

Leni: Way! That's totes cray cray!

Lori: [grabs the phone] NO PHONE CALLS! AND NO VIDEO GAMES! [grabs Lincoln's game]

Lori: [whistle blows] At ease. Just kidding! NOBODY IS TO BE AT EASE IN MY PRESENCE! As you know, Mom and Dad left me in charge. That means you have to do as I say, whether you're tall, short, or covered in fur and can only understand the word "sit"! Now, here is our schedule for this evening. 6:00 to 7:00: Sitting on bed with arms folded. 7:00 to 7:30: Chow. 7:30 to 8:00: Thorough cleaning of mess hall. 8:00: Staring at wall until falling asleep. Everyone got that?

Loud kids: MA'AM, YES, MA'AM!

Lana: SIR, YES, SIR!

Lori: [glares at Lana] DISMISSED!

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[Lori is tied up]

Lori: Hey! What is going on?

Lincoln: Your power trip is over! We're taking back our Friday nights!

Episode 7

Picture Perfect [1.7a]

[Lincoln gives his parents the first picture where his sisters are being themselves]

Lola: Lincoln, you bonehead! You gave them the wrong picture!

Lori: Yep! I knew you'd blow this, too.

Lincoln: No, I gave them the right one. The one that shows the real you. The perfect you.

Loud sisters: [embrace Lincoln] Aw! Thank you, Lincoln!

Episode 8

Episode 9

Linc or Swim [1.9a]

Lori: "Come on, guys. We'll just find another pool."

Lisa: "Actually, we've been suspended from every aquatic recreation center within a 60-mile radius."

[The gang stops and groans in agony]

Lori: "Seriously? How are we gonna keep cool now?"

[The sister start complaining that they're banned from every pool in town.]

Lincoln: "So that's it, then. No more pool for the Louds." [He gets an idea.] "That's it! Pool for the Louds! Why didn't I think of that sooner?"

[Heads off while the sisters continue complaining.]

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Lincoln: Maybe not so perfect. [puts it back and finds an individual one] Oh! Paradise for One. Just imagine... [imagines himself in a pool on a small island in the middle of the ocean] Now this is a pool I can really get into. [heads for the exit] Lincoln's little baby loves shortenin', short- [triggers the alarm] Oops. Gotta pay first.

[At the Loud House, the sisters are trying to cool off with the contents from the freezer. Lincoln tries to hide his pool kit.]

Leni: "Hey, Linc! Wanna chill with us?"

Luan: "CHILL! Good one, Leni!" [giggles]

Leni: "Good what?"

Lincoln: "Thanks, but I don't mind the heat." [The sisters are confused] "But, uh, you guys keep cool in here. Definitely no reason to go outside. I wouldn't even bother looking out there. Am I talking too much? I feel like I'm talking too much." [Leaves]

Lisa: "He's clearing suffering the first symptoms of heat stroke. Now, pass the frozen succotash."

[Lynn tosses her the succotash. Lincoln sneaks in the backyard while the sisters are cooling off.]

Lynn: "Scoot over. You're melting the broccoli."

Lola: "Well, stop breathing on the frozen carrots!"

Luan: "Hey, Lynn, can you grab that bag of peas? PEAS and thank you!" [giggles while her siblings groan]

Lincoln: [Breathing heavily] "Whew!"

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[Lisa pours the serum anyway and the water evaporates, it turns into pink smoke; It's revealed that the older sisters have tinkled in the pool. They blush except Lisa and Lincoln.]

Lisa: "Hmm... Unprecedented levels."

[Lincoln washes the pool and refills it while his sisters watch and the party continues; Luan and Leni are playing Marco Polo]

Luan: "MARCO!"

Leni: "MARCO!"

Luan: "No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo."

Leni: "Really, who's Leni?"

[Lily is about to go skinny dipping again]

Lincoln: "Oh no no no no no!" [grabs her and puts her in a diaper.] "No fecal incidents in my pool! I'm watching you, Lily." [sees Lucy floating] "Lucy? I didn't know you liked to swim."

Lucy: "I'm not swimming. I'm trying to see if I'm a witch. Am I floating?"

Lincoln: "Yes."

Lucy: "Wicked."

Lincoln: [chases Lily] "Get back here!"

Lynn: "You know what your soup needs? NOODLES!" [Bonks Lana with a pool noodle]

Lana: [Grabs one] "Bring it!"

Lola: "STOP SPLASHING ME!!!"

Lincoln: "Guys, no horseplay!"

Luan: "What about elephant play?" [blasts Lincoln with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Lana, Lynn, and Lola laugh at Lincoln.]

Lincoln: [flies right into Bobby] "Huh? Bobby? What're you doing here?"

Bobby: "Lori said there was an opening for a lifeguard at Casa Loud." [Blows whistle] "Everyone out! Senior swim!"

Lincoln: "What? There aren't any old people here!"

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[The sisters and Bobby are hanging out front with the Delux swimming pool Lincoln originally planned to get. Luna is playing a steel drum. Lori is taking pictures of her darling lifeguard.]

Lori: "Oh, that's fierce, babe."

Lynn: "En garde!"

Lana: [knocks Lynn in the water] "Have at thee! HA!"

Lola: "Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun!" [slides down and swims] "La-la-la, la-la-la!"

[Lucy and Lily apply sunscreen on each other. Leni and Luan play Marco Polo again.]

Luan: "Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our REAL names?"

Leni: "Okay! So I'm..." [looks at her brother, surprised] "Lincoln?"

Luan: "Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do ya?" [Notices what Leni meant] "Oh! Hey, Linc!"

[The sisters look happy to see him.]

Lincoln: [Aware of what's going on] "Hey, guys...what's all this?"

Lori: "Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying YOUR pool, we decided to-"

Luan: "-POOL our money to get this one!!!" [Giggles and everyone groans. Luan gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] "That's using your noodle!!" [Giggles some more] "Ow!"

Leni: "Aren't you gonna get in? There's TOTES room for one more!"

Lincoln: "You're gonna let me use your pool?" [The sisters are concerned] "Even though I kicked you out of mine?"

Lola: "Well, he was kind of a meanie."

Lucy: "Not to mention selfish."

Lori: "And bossy."

Bobby: "And he stole my whistle!"

Luan: "But that doesn't mean he can't use our pool."

Changing the Baby [1.9b]

Lincoln: "Give her back, Lori!"

Lori: "Why should you get her? I've literally been waiting 17 years for someone in this family who likes the things I like!"

Leni: [off-screen] "HELP!"

[Lincoln and Lori rush into Lily's bedroom where Leni is stuck in Lily's crib]

Leni: "Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Lily my fashion magazine, but now, I can't get out of this baby prison!" [cries]

[Lori and Lincoln help Leni out of Lily's crib]

Lincoln: "Upsy-daisy."

Lori: "There you go, Leni."

Leni: "Agoo!"

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[Lily is having a tea party with Lola and Lana]

Lola: "More tea, Lady Lillington?" [Lily removes a tiara that Lola placed on her head]

Lana: She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [Puts Izzy on Lily's head. They then start to pull Lily by her arms, which discomforts her]

Lola: No, she doesn't!

Lana: Yes, she does!

Lola: No, she doesn't!

Lana: Yes, she does!

Luna: Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!

Lisa: She was my specimen!

Lucy: We were talking to Great-Grandma Harriet.

Lynn: We were playing ball!

Luan: We were getting ready to take our show on the road!

Leni: We were gonna look at my magazines!

Lori: We were watching Dylan's date!

Lucy: BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you re-gifted her brooch, and she is not happy about it. [Lori instantly looks regretful]

Lola and Lana: GIVE US BACK, LILY!

[The other girls fight over Lily until Lincoln comes in and grabs her]

Loud Sisters: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!

[Lincoln tries to escape with Lily, but Lori stops him dead in his tracks]

Lori: I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]

Lincoln: Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Lori but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]

Luan: Whoops. Sorry, Linc! Sorry, you loser! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]

Leni: Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she's gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!

Lucy: [offscreen] Boo. [Lisa screams and she takes Lily from her] Boo.

[Leni runs off screaming; Lisa gets Lily back from Lucy only for Leni to intercept her; Luan tosses a banana peel on the floor causing Leni to slip and drop Lily and Lincoln catches her; Lynn intercepts Lily; Lola comes driving in her princess car and runs over Lynn and takes Lily from her; Lana tosses her jacks on the floor and causes Lola to have a tire blow out; in slow motion, Lola goes crashing and Lana grabs Lily only for the other girls to catch up to her by blocking her path]

Lana: Dang it...

[They all start having another brawl until Lincoln whistles out to them and they stop]

Lincoln: Look! We all want Lily to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Lily choose.

Episode 10

Space Invader [1.10b]

Lincoln: [Lynn farts under the covers] Ugh! Lynn!

Lynn: [pulls the covers over Lincoln, causing him to gag] DUTCH OVEN! Goodnight, Lincoln.

Episode 11

Butterfly Effect [1.11a]

Lori: Leni, why is this picture of Bobby hidden on your side of the closet?

Leni: Oh, there is it is! That was a surprise present from Bobby for your 88-day-iversary. He asked me to hide it for him, but I forgot where I put it.

Lori: That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bobby gave me socks! I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bobby behind my back! You are no longer my sister!

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Luna: [in a British accent] ALL I WANTED WAS A BLEEDING PILLOW MINT!

Lincoln: Luna?

The Green House [1.11b]

Lincoln: What can I do? In a family this big, our eco-footprint is a size 18 triple wide. We use a lot of electricity, fossil fuels, water, aerosols, non-biodegradables, and did I mention electricity? We gotta reduce our eco-footprint. Hopefully, I can get my sisters on board. [cut to the living room, his sisters are complaining] Or not. Time to pull out the big guns. [holding up the poster] And if we don't all do our part, this adorable little guy won't survive. [they cry]

Luna: But what can we do?

Lincoln: I'm glad you asked!

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Gamer 1: Pee-yew. What stinks?

[Suddenly, the TV goes off and it's revealed that Lincoln's sisters have unplugged it and are wearing potato sacks over their bodies and bandages on their feet, with a huge stench coming out of them, and all look incredibly furious]

Lori: GAME OVER, LINCOLN!

Lincoln: It's not what it looks like! [notices the game controller and hides it behind his back]

Lori: We're up there making all these sacrifices, and you're down here playing some stupid computer game?!

Lincoln: Okay, so maybe it is what it looks like.

Lynn: If you don't wanna give anything up, why should we?

Lincoln: But... but... polar bear? [holds up the poster]

[Lincoln's sisters are starting to feel remorse again, but this time, unfortunately, they snap out of it.]

Lola: Aww...wait a minute! You can't use that on us anymore!

Lori: Come on, girls! Let's go get our stuff back!

Leni: [holding up her glass of air] And a refill!

[They do so, and leave the basement.]

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Mrs. Johnson: Let's all give Lincoln a round of applause for stepping up his green game and doing his part.

[The whole class cheers for Lincoln for saving the baby polar bear challenge]

Lincoln: Well, I saved the polar bear, and I'm not an outcast. Although, technically speaking... [literally outside the window, rubbing with a scented towelette] my social life is out the window. Do you mind?! I'm showering!

Episode 12

For Bros About to Rock [1.12a]

Luna: I've been thinking about what you said. And you and the girls are right. I do get a little crazy when it comes to first concerts.

Lincoln: Why are they so important to you?

Luna: [Flashback to a younger, unfamiliar Luna attending her first concert] Cause my first rock show changed my life. It was Mick Swagger. Summer of seventh grade. The Gimme Swelter Tour. Up until that muggy June night, I didn't know who I wanted to be, but the moment Mick and the boys took the stage, it all started to become clear. It was like he was talking to me. [as Mick Swagger sings, Luna comes up to the stage and transforms into her familiar appearance] It was in that moment I realized... I WAS LUNA LOUD! Stage dive!

Lincoln: Wow. I had no idea.

Luna: I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it.

Captain: [crying] I'm sorry. That was just such a beautiful story. You're right, kid. First concerts are unforgettable. And I can't let you miss yours. [lets them out] Here. Here's your tickets back. Now get outta here!

Episode 13

Episode 14

Episode 15

House Music [1.15a]

Leni: [singing] Backup, backup, backup!

Luna: No no no no. Leni, you don't actually sing the words "backup". You sing what's on the page.

Leni: Oh. Got it! [singing] What's on the page! What's on the page! What's on the page!

Episode 16

Out on a Limo [1.16b]

[Lincoln returns home and finds his sisters all glaring annoyingly at him]

Lincoln: Wrong house! [closes the door but they somehow appear before him]

Lynn: Where have you been?!

Lisa: We were standing on the curb for over three hours!

Lori: The garbage guys literally tried to take Lana to the dump!

Lincoln: I'm really sorry. I had a busy day with the very wealthy Lord Tetherby and I just couldn't get away.

Lola: I cannot believe you have been hanging out with some random rich guy all day instead of taking your own sisters to the Burpin' Burger!

Lincoln: [repeating Tetherby's words] A man in a limo can't be seen in some rat hole named after a bodily function. It's just not done.

Lori: You're not a man in a limo. You're a kid who ate a bunch of mustard! As soon as your limo's gone, this little fantasy of yours is going to be over!

Lincoln: Oh, really? Is that why they're making me a member of their club tonight, hm? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put on my formal wear.

---

Lola: [annoyed] Oh, great. It's Lincoln and that fancy mustard limo.

Lynn: [also annoyed] I thought he only had it for a day. We've gotta put up more of his attitude?

Lincoln: The limo's not for me. [His sisters look surprised] It's for you. I'm sorry about the way I acted yesterday. I never should have broken my promise to take you guys to the Burpin' Burger.

Episode 17

Save the Date [1.17b]

[Lincoln pulls out a sloppy joe with a note]

Classmate #3: [reading the note] "Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne!"

Classmate #2: And there's a heart!

Classmates: Ooh! Lincoln's got a girlfriend!

Lincoln: No I don't.

Classmate #2: When's the wedding day, Lincoln?

Lincoln: [annoyed] Ha ha. Very funny.

Classmates: Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Lincoln: Guys, Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo. [hears a gasp and sees Ronnie Anne] Ronnie Anne!

[Ronnie Anne storms out of the cafeteria with a sharped scowl]

Clyde: Whoa, Lincoln, I think you really hurt her feelings.

Lincoln: Come on, Clyde, Ronnie Anne is the toughest kid in school. She'll be fine.

[Later… as Lincoln returns home from school]

Lori: You MONSTER! [throws a tissue box at him, angrily]

Lincoln: Ow! What was that for?

Lori: You made Ronnie Anne CRY!

Lincoln: Cry?! I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?

Lori: Bobby told me... Right before he broke up with ME! [sobs]

Lincoln: What? Why does Bobby care?

Lori: [opens up a photo book of her, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne] Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!

Lincoln: Ronnie Anne has a brother? I thought she was raised by trolls.

Lori: [throws CDs at him] THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT! [chases him around the living room and grabs him by the collar with both hands] You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne!

Lincoln: Okay! Okay! I'll call her right now and apologize!

Lori: No! Nuh-uh! Actions speak louder than words. Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double-date.

Lincoln: What?!

Lori: It's all been arranged. We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at 6:00. And you will make her feel like… THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL IN THE WORLD!!

---

Lori: [to Lincoln and Ronnie Anne with Bobby] Guess who's back together!

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne: Babe and Bobby Boo-Boo Bear?

---

Classmate #3: Hey, Lincoln. What you doing at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet?

Lincoln: I'm just here with family… friends… I mean, family friends.

Classmate #3: Isn't that Ronnie Anne?

Lincoln: No. I mean, maybe. I didn't know she was here.

Classmate #3: Hey, are those khakis? [gasps] You're wearing date pants!

Classmate #2: I knew it! Ronnie Anne is your girlfriend!

Lincoln: She is not my girlfriend! Guys, I already told you! Ronnie Anne is rude, and gross, and totally annoying! I'd rather lick the bathroom floor and kiss that weirdo!

Lori: [enraged] LINCOLN!

[Lori and Bobby are extremely angry at Lincoln for insulting Ronnie Anne for the second time in a row]

---

Lincoln: Ronnie Anne, wait! There's something I've gotta say. Can I have everyone's attention, please? I've said some pretty horrible things about a girl who deserves a lot better. Ronnie Anne, you're really cool, and funny, and I've had an awesome time hanging out with you tonight. But as my sister Lori once told me, actions speak louder than words. So, instead of telling you how great I think you are, well... [Lincoln pulls Ronnie Anne onto the podium and kisses her on the lips]

---

[After Ronnie Anne slaps Lincoln in the face for kissing her and storms out of the cafeteria…]

Classmate #1: Sorry, dude.

Trent: That was harsh.

Classmate #2: Girls are intense, man.

Classmate #3: It's okay to be single.

Classmate #4: Your bros are here for you, bro.

Episode 18

Episode 19

Episode 20

Episode 21

The Price of Admission [1.21a]

[A box of whoopee cushions fall onto Lincoln]

Lincoln: AAH! HE'S GOT MY SISTERS' COLONS AND THEY'RE STILL FARTING!

One Flu Over The Loud House [1.21b]

Lincoln: What the?

Luna: He looks okay, but we better check him.

Leni: [checks Lincoln's temperature with a scanner] 986 degrees? He's good. Let him go.

Lincoln: Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?!

Lisa: Haven't you heard? This morning our house became infested with an acute, febrile, contagious virus. Or, as it's known on the street, the flu.

Lincoln: With 13 Louds packed into 1200 square feet, when someone gets sick, it spreads like the plague. We're not just talking flu, we're talking...a zombie apocalypse!

---

[Lincoln takes a sneeze meant for Leni]

Leni: Lincoln, you saved me. Why?

Lincoln: Cause you've got a good heart. And you deserve to survive more than I do. [accidentally sneezes on Leni] Dang it.

Episode 22

Episode 23

The Loudest Yard [1.23a]

[Peanuts style music plays as Lincoln charges at the football, but Lucy pulls it away and he lands on his back just like in the comics]

Lincoln: ARGH!

Episode 24

Study Muffin [1.24a]

Lincoln: I don't get it, Clyde. Usually, I'm a good student, but lately it's been all C's and D's, and now an F.

Clyde: Wow. And a frowny face too.

Home-spun [1.24b]

Lincoln: And the doorknob situation.

Lisa: [doorknob] Dang it.

Leni: [fridge handle] Dang it.

Lynn: [doorknob] Dang it.

Lucy: [attic cord] Dang it.

Lori: [doorknob] Dang it.

Luna: [flusher handle] Dang it.

Lincoln: [doorknob] Dang it.

Episode 25

Episode 26

Funny Business [1.26a]

Lincoln: Well, I'm so honored to be your 5th choice.

Luan: Come on, Lincoln. Please? I really need your help.

Lincoln: I don't know. I'm not really the performing type. I don't want to make a fool of myself on stage.