The Casagrandes/Season 1
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Going Overboard (1.1)
Walk Don't Run (1.2)
The Two of Clubs (2.1)
Vacation Daze (2.2)
New Haunts (3.1)
Snack Pact (4.1)
- Maria: What you got there, Ronnie Anne?
- Ronnie Anne: You guys have to check out that tamale truck, these are so good!
- Carl: [horrified] What are you doing?! If Abuela sees you eating that, you’re toast!
- Maria: Once, she caught Tío Carlos eating a churro from the new bakery. She stopped cooking for him for a month.
- Carlos: [whimpers] I had to survive on frozen waffles!
- [Carlitos sticks his pacifier in his papa’s mouth]
- Frida: She gets super jealous when any of us likes someone else’s cooking.
The Horror-Scope (4.2)
Arrr in the Family (5.1)
Finders Weepers (5.2)
Stress Test (6.1)
- Carlota: [enters the apartment, excited, along with Bobby, looking upset] OMG, guys, look! Bobby and I got our BAT scores in the mail!
- Carl: Ooh, what's a BAT test? [gasps] You get to sleep upside down and eat crickets?!
- Carlota: No, Carl. BAT stands for "Big Academic Test." It's to get into college, and I crushed it! Fashion design school, here I come!
- Frida: Oh, I'm so proud of you, mija. Go pursue your dreams! But don't leave me BACK! [sobs]
- Maria: Is something wrong, Bobby?
- Bobby: I didn't get a good BAT score.
- Rosa: [gasps] Who wouldn't want to give mi Bobbito a good score? [takes of her shoe and goes to the door] I'll just give those testing people a piece of my mind!
- Bobby: [runs up to the door, blocking her way] I don't think that'll help, Abuela. [groans] I really wanted to do well so I could go to business school and open up a whole chain of mercados. I don't know what happened. I aced all my practice tests, but as soon as I sat down, my palms got sweaty and I forgot everything! Like, even where I parked, [pulls out the van keys from his pocket] I had to walk home!
- Hector: Wait, you left the mercado van there?! I'm gonna get a ticket! [grabs the keys and leaves]
- Carlos: Huh, sounds like a classic case of test-taking anxiety. My students get it all the time. Never fear, Bobby. There are many scientific ways to beat it! I'll help you.
- Bobby: Deal!
- Carlos: [gets his hand covered in sweat] Eh, you weren’t kidding about your sweaty palms. [chuckles]
- Rosa: [furiously shaking her shoe in front of Carlos' face] You lost your torta privileges, mister!
How to Train Your Carl (6.2)
Operation Dad (Episode 7)
Flee Market (8.1)
- Ronnie Anne: [takes out her phone] One guess who it is. [answers the call]
- Bobby: Hey! I told you to stay away from those Chewy Chewies! There better be 97 when I get back!
- Ronnie Anne: Huh?
- Bobby: And you have a code purple! Maybelle is eating grapes!
- Ronnie Anne: How do you know all of that?
- Bobby: Uh... Mercado instinct! Hey, did you change my music? Bobby's Mercado Mix Number 7 was carefully selected to stimulate more shopping.
- Ronnie Anne: [looks at a security camera in the piñata's eye] Mercado instinct, huh? More like you're spying on us with the security camera!
- Bobby: Wait! I'm not spying! What... What are you doing?! [Carl covers the camera with gum, blacking it out, as the phone hangs up] They cut me off! [worriedly freaking out] What am I gonna do?!
- Ronnie Anne: Bobby?
- Bobby: That's right! [removes the gum off the camera] I don't appreciate being cut off! [shakes the gum off his hand] Yuck! From communication!
- Ronnie Anne: Well, we didn't appreciate you spying on us. We've all helped out here and know what to do. Look around! Nothing went wrong.
- Bobby: How can you say that?! The mangos smell like trout! The milk is facing the wrong way! This can is off by a centimeter!
- Ronnie Anne: You're being so picky! That stuff doesn't matter!
- Bobby: It matters to me! I don't need a bunch of kids coming in here and changing everything! You'll understand when you're older.
- Ronnie Anne: Oh, ho, ho! I think we understand now! You're just like a Mercado run in a very specific way! [takes her apron off and gives it to her brother] So, run it yourself! [walks out]
- Carl: Yeah, we quit!
- CJ: We're done!
- Carl: Later, jefe.
- Bobby: Lori! Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for tonight to turn out like this.
- Lori: I can’t believe you drove me all the way to the city just so you could work on our anniversary!
- Bobby: That wasn’t the plan. It was supposed to be a really special night. I left Ronnie Anne, Carl, and CJ in charge of the mercado, but they were messing things up! They changed the music to K-pop, and they out the mangoes by the fish.
- Lori: That’s it?! So they didn’t upset any customers, burned the place down?
- Bobby: No, but--
- Lori: Bobby, everyone in your family cares about the mercado. No one would let anything truly bad happen to it.
- Bobby: Right, but--
- Lori: Maybe, they have their own way of doing things, and you just need to trust them.
- Bobby: You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess I do have a hard time giving up control of the mercado.
- Lori: It’s okay. You’re just really passionate about what you do. And I love that about you. Also, you look cute in your pizza tux.
- Bobby: Thanks, babe.
Copy Can't (8.2)
Away Game (9.1)
Monster Cash (9.2)
- [In Carl and CJ’s room, Carl has Sergio and Lalo over to talk with them]
- Carl: [clears throat] You might be wondering why I’ve gathered you here today.
- [Carl's side of the room is rather messy]
- Sergio: To smell a bunch of dirty laundry?
- Carl: No. I want to bring you in on an exciting investment opportunity. Our very own spooky tour! All we have to do is make up some spooky junk, give the people some scares, and the money will come pouring in! [laughs, then focuses] So, what spooky thing should we feature on the tour?
- Rosa: [comes in the room, taps him on the shoulder, startling him; unhappy] Ay, Carl. This room is filthy. You were supposed to make your bed and pick up your dirty clothes. And give Lalo a flea bath.
- Carl: And I'm totally gonna. Later.
- Rosa: You better listen, Carl, or El Cucuy will come after you. He always knows when children are misbehaving. He watches you with his glowing red eyes and he can hear you from miles away with his giant hairy ear.
- Carl: Abuelo has a giant hairy ear and he can't hear his cell phone ring.
- [At that moment, Hector does walk by, his cell phone ringing, not even realizing]
- Rosa: I'm serious, Carl. [goes after Hector] Hector, su teléfono!
- [Sergio and Lalo see the monstrous figure swooping behind the building, freaked out, and jump on Carl]
- Carl: Would you chill out?! [gets up] Don't bruise the threads, man. The more successful we look, the more money people will give us. Aren't I a genius businessman? [laughs, then sees the pets cowering] Guys, what's your problem?
- Sergio: [whimpering] Cucuy!
- Carl: [turns around, seeing the figure behind him; not scared] Okay, I get what's going on here. Nice try, Ronnie Anne. Getting back at me for kicking you off the tour? Cool red flashlight eyes. Really working it with that heavy breathing.
- Ronnie Anne: [walks up, tattered and exhausted; angry at Carl] My heavy breathing is because I had to walk ALL the way home from where you ditched me! If I wasn’t so tired, I’d kick your butt! [angrily storms inside]
- Carl: [suddenly scared] But, if that’s not Ronnie Anne, then it must really be... [gasps as the cucuy snarls] EL CUCUY!
Trend Game (10.1)
This Bird Has Flown (10.2)
- Bobby: [dismayed; groans] Beaten by a bird. Can it get more embarrassing?
- Sergio: [poops on Bobby’s head; squawks] Clean up at the register!
- Bobby: [fuels up furiously as his face turns red] You know what, Sergio?! I’ve had it! I wish you would just fly away and never...come...back!
- Sergio: [squawks in horrified shock; annoyed] Fine! Peace out! [flies out and away of the mercado]
- Bobby: [sweeps the bird poop off his head and looks at Sergio’s photo] What are you looking at? [annoyingly flips the photo down]
- Rosa: [lifts up the couch] ¿Sergio, done estas! [sets the couch down] Where did he go?! It’s not like him to just disappear like [breaks down in tears] THIIIIIIIII-IS!!!
- Casagrandes: Sergio!
- Rosa: Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!
- Sergio: Been crashing with Sancho. [to Bobby] Had to teach Bobby a lesson.
- Bobby: Well, it worked. I’m sorry about what I said.
- Carlota: [gasps as she got a text from Alisa] Shut up! Alisa just liked my vlog!
- Ronnie Anne: [in unison] What?
- Bobby: [in unison] Did you say Alisa?!
- Rosa: Quine? Is that a friend of yours?
- Carlota: No, no, Abuela. She’s a famous musician and a judge on that singing show, "The Song." [gasps as she gets more texts from Alisa] It’s her again! She’s says she’s on tour, here in Great Lakes City… [gasps] and she’s inviting me to do her makeup and a live interview before the show! [screams in excitement]
- Frida: We should all buy tickets and go. To support you.
- Carlota: Uh, yeah. I so with you guys could come, but the show’s been sold out for months. Bummer.
- [Her laptop beeps, showing Alisa sent the family some free tickets]
- Ronnie Anne: Whoa! Alisa just sent you 10 free tickets!
- Carl: I’ll come with you. I have important business to discuss with Alisa.
- Hector: And I wanna give her my CDs.
- Carlota: You two, stop right there! You promised you'd stay out of my way.
- Maria: [whispering to Carlos] Remember when I used to sneak out and go to concerts?
- Rosa: [shocked in anger; having to have heard that] What?! You’re grounded, young lady.
- Carlota: Ugh, this is all my fault. I told Blaze to get rid of you guys, but I never wanted this to happen. [sighs] I’m sorry.
- Frida: No, mija. It’s our fault. We were kind of…
- Sergio: [squawks] Cuckoo for Alisa?
- Carlota: True, but that doesn’t matter. You guys are way important to me than some celebrity interview.
- Carlota: [recording an online video with her and her family on stage with Alisa] OMG, this is way better than an interview!
Señor Class (11.2)
- Hector: When Ronnie Anne was a baby, she had the cutest little pompis. And she used to go... [wiggles his butt] "Toot-toot-toot! Toot-toot-toot!"
- [The whole class laughs, except for Sid; Ronnie Anne blushes full of embarrassment and humiliation and covers her face]
- Ronnie Anne: Ugh! I don’t how I’ll ever live down the pompis tooting disaster.
- Carl: I know. And I thought I had it bad with everyone calling me, "Carl Casa-chonies."
- [As Ronnie Anne and Carl come home after school]
- Ronnie Anne: Okay, I hate to say it, but school without Abuelo was awesome.
- Carl: [counting a huge wad of cash] I'll say, my torta sales were through the roof.
- [The two enter the mercado and gasp in horrified shock at the state it is in; Sergio flies carrying a heavy box full of mangoes; Bobby is sucking his thumb, rocking in the corner]
- Frida: [fending off the lobsters with her camera] BACK, YOU HARD-SHELLED BEASTS!
- Maybelle: [surrounded by lots of boxes] I have no idea where I am.
Fast Feud (12.1)
Never Friending Story (12.2)
Grandparent Trap (13.1)
Miss Step (13.2)
The Big Chill (14.2)
Karma Chameleon (15.1)
Team Effort (15.2)
Guess Who's Shopping for Dinner? (16.1)
New Roomie (16.2)
- [As Ronnie Anne and Bobby do their homework in the living room, Big Tony and Little Sal chase Sergio around]
- Sergio: [panicked squawk] Not your squeaky toy! [gets his tail bitten by Big Tony]
- Bobby: I'm just gonna say it. Vito's a terrible roommate!
- Ronnie Anne: The worst!
- [Lalo angrily barks out his thoughts]
- Ronnie Anne: [she and Bobby gasp] Lalo, language!
Mexican Makeover (17.1)
- [Ronnie Anne walks out of her room, wearing a white floral dress, white socks, and Mary Janes]
- Carlota: [in her folklorico dress walks to her with CJ, wearing a white shirt and shorts, red neckerchief, and sandals] Ronnie Anne, where are my clothes?! Is this one of your practical jokes?!
- Ronnie Anne: No, I thought it was laundry day. But I did put a whoopee cushion on Abuelo's chair.
- Hector: [sits down offscreen] Oop, ah, excuse me!
- Carl: [walks up, wearing white floral underwear] Why are my chonies so fancy?
- Bobby: [walks up, wearing a sombrero, brown leather jacket, vest and pants, green tie, and white pointy boots] I don’t think these are my pants but I like ‘em! And there are little toys on my shoes! [plays with the spurs on his boots] Wee!
- Rosa: [sees her nietos back into their regular outfits; horrified] ¡Familia! Why are you in those clothes? Go get dressed.
- Ronnie Anne: Abuela, what's going on?
- Carlota: What's with the clothes?
- Carl: And the labels?
- Bobby: And the spicy food?
- Rosa: Just do this for me, por favor.
- Sergio: [squawks] She landed!
- Rosa: It's too late! Mama Lupe is here! I have to go pick her up.
- Ronnie Anne: I thought you were excited to see your mom.
- Rosa: I am, I just hope she survives the visit.
- Kids: [out of sync] What, why?
- Rosa: I didn't want to put this on you kids, but if Mama Lupe finds out we're not carrying on our family traditions, she could…
- Sergio: [squawks] Go adiós, forever.
- [The kids gasp in horrified shock]
- Carlos: [enters with Frida] Once my cousin, Tacho, gave Mama Lupe fast-food tacos. The shock almost did her in.
Uptown Funk (17.2)
Bo Bo Business (18.1)
- [Nighttime; The Casagrandes are all having a kind of awkward dinner]
- Rosa: [enters with a tray of mashed potatoes] So, how was everyone's day?
- Hector: Just how I like it. The same.
- Bobby: Well, my day was great, Abuela.
- Rosa: Que bueno mis muchachos. [leaves to get more dinner]
- Bobby: My new boss is open to all my ideas. Unlike my old boss.
- Hector: Well, old boss, who looks pretty good for his age, is doing fine without new ideas.
- Carlota: I had a pretty good day, I… [frowns as Bobby interrupts]
- Bobby: Well, my new boss is not just fine, he's raking in the dough.
- Hector: Then your new boss should pay for your potatoes, because I'm eating all of these. [pulls the tray and starts to laugh]
- Bobby: [throws his spoon annoyingly] Mr. Hong would share his potatoes.
- Hector: Then, you should go to Mr. Hong's!
- Bobby: I already asked if he has plans tonight.
- Hector: That's too bad!
- [The mashed potato tray flings into the air and splats on Rosa’s face]
- Bobby and Hector: [gasps; pointing to each other] He started it!
- [Rosa takes off her shoes and uses them hitting them both]
- Bobby: Here at Hong's, we take your feedback seriously. From now on, all animals are welcome.
- Ronnie Anne: Hey, Bobby, don't you think that's going a bit too far?
- Bobby: I'm on a hot streak, Ronnie Anne! And the customer is always right. [Bunnies are suddenly everywhere; panicking] The customer is not always right!
Blunder Party (18.2)
- Ronnie Anne: Carl, Adelaide, can I speak to you over here? Sorry guys, the slumber party's just for me and my friends, we're doing big kid stuff.
- Laird: Fifteen feet.
- Carl: Amateurs, I could beat that in my sleep.
- Adelaide: Yeah, watch. [puts a slice in her mouth and Carl stretches it, but it gets flung and takes down a pigeon which lands and gets stuck in Laird's hair]
- Sid: Sorry Adelaide, big kids only.
- Ronnie Anne: Maybe next time.
- Carl: Or… this time. [clears his throat and wails loudly] ABUELA!!! RONNIE ANNE WON'T LET US CAMP ON THE ROOF WITH HER!!! [echoes]
- Rosa: [appears behind the girls] Ronalda! [The girls are startled as they yelp] You must always include others, especially to familia. [Carl and Adelaide nod in agreement while sneering] Let them stay for a little while, at least until they go to bed.
- Ronnie Anne: [sighs annoyingly] Fine. [to Carl and Adelaide] You can join the party.
- [Carl and Adelaide peer inside Ronnie Anne's room, Sergio is sleeping with a box of crackers in his arm; The kids sneak up on him, and together they swipe it]
- Adelaide: Sergio's crackers, got it!
- Sergio: [wakes up with his dark shadow covering them as they look up and see him; squawks angrily] SNACK THIEVES! [Carl and Adelaide panic in fear and make a run for the door] Get back here! [charges at them, but gets slammed on the door, getting stuck; They high-five and smirk at him]
Cursed! (Episode 19)
- Bobby: [on video chat with Lori, showing her his injuries] These are scratches from the feral cats, and this is freezer burn from being trapped with the ice cream. Oh, and these are bruises from the pizza explosion. And I don’t know why there’s a fish in my pants! [pulls a fish out of his pants, shriveling and moaning, and tosses it aside]
- Lori: Aw, my boo-boo bear is full of boo-boos. At least your adorable nose is still intact.
- Ronnie Anne: Abuela, we can't just pack up and leave. Where would we even go?
- Rosa: I'm sorry, mija, but we must leave ASAP.
- Lori: Bobby, I'm already home for the weekend. You guys should stay with my family. Then I could literally see your Boo-Boo Bear face in person. [kisses the camera]
- Bobby: You hear that, Abuela? Can we stay with the Louds? Please, please, please, please, please?
- Rosa: Really, Lori? Are you sure that's okay with your family?
- Lori: Oh, they'll be totally cool with it.
- Rita and Lynn Sr.: We are totally not cool with it.
- Lori: Come on, guys. They need our help.
- Lynn Sr.: Kiddo, we'd never turn our backs on the Casagrandes, but–
- Rita: There's so many of us and so many of them, and so many of us! Maybe it would be best if we called them and– [Doorbell rings]
- Lincoln: They're here, they're here, they're here! [rushes to the door]
- Rita: Of course they are.
- Ronnie Anne: [holding a tray of tamales as Lincoln opens the door] Hey, Lincoln!
- Casagrandes: Hola, familia Loud!
- CJ: See? Who needs the bathroom?
- Ronnie Anne: Yeah. We have the sink all to ourselves.
- [Luna, Luan, Carl, and Lola show up brushing their teeth too]
- CJ: I’m brushing here.
- Lola: [as her toothbrush is bumped by Carl] My princess toothbrush! How dare you!
- Ronnie Anne: On the bright side, we don’t have to sleep on the floor. [later, laying on Lucy’s bed, sandwiched between her grandparents] On second thought, I’d rather sleep on the floor.
- Frida: [in a coffin with Carlitos] At least you’re not in a coffin! [freaking out in horror]
- [The Casagrandes are all revealed sleeping in Lynn and Lucy’s room, most in coffins]
- Lucy: Goodnight. May you all sleep like the dead. [closes the door, Frida freaks out again]
- Carl: [groans] I want to go back home.
- Carlos: I think it’s kind of fun. We can pretend to be the mummies of the ancient Pharaohs!
- Frida: [shrieks] You’re not helping! [closes her coffin]
- [Carlota, Maria, and Lalo are sharing Lynn’s bed]
- Carlota: Stop drooling on me! [takes the comforter from Maria]
- Maria: Hey!
- [Carlota and Maria both rip the comforter while fighting over it]
- Carlota: [as Sergio comes over and cuddles with her] Ugh. Are you kidding me?!
- Sergio: [squawks; scared] Need a snuggle.
- Ronnie Anne: Guys, it’s been a long day. Let’s just try to get some sleep.
- Bobby: There’s something in the coffin with me! [gets a kiss on the cheek from Fangs as he emerges from the coffin and screams]
- [The Casagrandes all scream in panic]
- Ronnie Anne: Abuela, please. We can’t stay here. It’s too many people!
- Rosa: Mija, it might be hard, but at least we’re not in Bad Luck City.
- Ronnie Anne: [as Hector falls on her off of Lucy’s bed, breaking a coffin] This is worse than bad luck.
- Carl: I miss my choo-choo sheets.
- Lola: I miss you not being here.
- [Carl and Lola start getting in a cat fight]
- Ronnie Anne: The only way we're going to the woods is if Abuela drags us kicking and screaming.
- [Outside the Loud House, Rosa is carrying her kids kicking and screaming like Ronnie Anne said]
- Frida: Carlos, do something!
- Carlos: Mama, be reasonable. [His mama gives him a dirty look] Oh, I hear the woods are lovely this time of year.
- [Frida sighs]
- Sergio: [squawks] Mama's boy.
- [The Casagrandes are all at Flip’s getting gas]
- Ronnie Anne: As soon as that gas tank is full, our lives will be over.
- Carlota: Think they have WiFi in the woods? [Carl, CJ, and Bobby roll their eyes; groans] Couldn't you let me live in hope?!
- Ronnie Anne: May as well enjoy this last bit of civilization before we become forest people, I guess. I'm going to use a real bathroom while I still can.
- Ronnie Anne: Ernesto Estrella?!
- Ernesto: Oh, a fan! I love fans!
- Ronnie Anne: You lied about Great Lakes City being cursed because of a pimple?!
- Ernesto: Oh, an angry fan. Estrella out! [hides in his cape]
- Ronnie Anne: You’re not on TV right now. That's not going to work. Thanks to you, my abuela made us leave Great Lakes City, and now she's taking us to live in the woods.
- Ernesto: Aye, I didn't see that coming. I'm so sorry, muchacha. I never thought my words could cause so much trouble. Please, let me try to fix this.
- Ronnie Anne: [gets in his face, threateningly] You better fix this!
- Ernesto: [laughs, scared] You're very scary for your size.
What's Love Gato Do With It? (20.1)
- Bobby: Ugh! I hate cats!
- Frida: They’re so temperamental.
- Maria: Couldn’t agree more.
- Hector: Furry bobos.
- Carl: So greedy with their nine lives.
- Ronnie Anne: Hmm. Bobby you’re acting weird.
- Carl: Yeah, even for you.
- Bobby: I am? [Carlota’s phone ringer goes off and switches to cat mode, walks up to Lalo and Sergio as Lalo’s napping and wakes up; he and Lalo snarl at each other and start fighting]
- Carlota: [looking at her phone] Okay, this is bananas!
- Ronnie Anne: Right?
- Carlota: Karen and Dana wore the same outfit to Rebecca's party.
- Ronnie Anne: No, I mean Bobby. He's scratching, purring and fighting with Lalo. [goes in and breaks up the fight]
- Sergio: [jumps out of Bobby’s mouth] He's worse than a cat!
- Ronnie Anne: [gasps] He's not worse, Bobby is a cat!
- Bobby: What’s going on? Why does everyone look so sad?
- Maria: Bobby, there’s something we have to tell you.
- [5 MINUTES LATER…]
- Bobby: [freaked out] Wait, what?! I'm gonna be a cat forever?
- Ronnie Anne: It's okay Bobby, we'll figure something out.
- Bobby: No, I can't do this to you guys. Farewell, humans! [sets off the store service bell, now thinks he is a cat, and runs away]
- Maria: Bobby, wait!
- Frida: [sobs] Oh, NOOOOO!
- Rosa: Mi Bobbito!
- Ronnie Anne: Don't worry guys, he's my brother, I'll be able to track him down in no time.
Dial M. for Mustard (20.2)