The Casagrandes/Season 2
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The Kid Plays in the Picture (1.1)
Achy Breaky Art (1.2)
- Carlota: Guys, Artemio Alcaraz's review of Mama's art just went live.
- Ronnie Anne: Nice, must be good right?
- Sergio: [squawks] Think again.
- Carlota: It's horrible!
- Carl: What?! But he said her stuff was a wonder!
- CJ: And a vision.
- Carlota: And breath-taking, I know. [reads the review] "Frida Puga Casagrande's art is a wonder... I wonder how it could be so bad."
- Ronnie Anne: What? Let me see that. [takes Carlota's phone, reading the rest] "Her sculptures are a vision of horror. While her painting is breath-taking in it's ability to make me feel disgust." [gasps in horror at the next part] "She should quit being an artist."
- [The Casagrande kids gasp]
- Bobby: Wow, none of those words mean what I thought they meant.
- Carlota: This will break Mama's heart.
- Ronnie Anne: Not if she never sees it.
- Bobby: Good idea! [grabs Carlota’s phone and throws it in the trash, much to her annoyance]
- Carlota: [annoyed] Thanks, Bobby.
Fails from the Crypt (2.1)
- Ronnie Anne: [walks down the hall with her sleeping bag, packed up, humming; bumps into her grandparents looking cross as they’re blocking her way to the door; grunts] Uh, can I just get to the door?
- Hector: Sergio tells us you're camping in Great Lakes City Cemetary tonight.
- Rosa: Mis bebes? At a cemetary? At night?! Nunca!
- Hector: Much too scary for kids.
- Sergio: [squawks] Even for me!
- Ronnie Anne: Well, that's the point. Legend has it 40 years ago, a group known as the Fearless Four spent the entire night in the cemetary. No one's been brave enough to do it since. Until tonight. [points to Maria on the couch, munching on popcorn, with her brother sitting next to her, reading a book] And Mom gave me permission!
- Rosa: Well, I’m her mom, and I didn’t give her permission to give you permission.
- Maria: Oh, come on, Mama. You let Carlos and me go when we were kids.
- Carlos: Heh! Maybe you’ll make it longer than we did. Maria couldn’t last an hour.
- Maria: [scoffs] Me? You wanted to leave.
- Carlos: Uh, no...I’m pretty sure that was you.
- Maria: I really don’t think so. [pushes Carlos' book of the couch; starts getting in a cat fight with him] You gonna cry, huh? Gonna cry, widdle baby boy?
- Carlos: MOM!
- Rosa: [sighing with exasperation] Aye…
- Everyone: We got you!
- Rosa: Que? What's going on here?
- Ronnie Anne: We know it was you scaring us, we figured it out last night. [flashback to the Casagrande apartment] Mom, it was so scary. There was a skeleton and a zombie and a spider!
- Maria: It's okay, mija. [she and her hermano realize something] Wait... Carlos, isn't that what scared us when we were kids?
- Carlos: It is.
- Sid: [eating a tamale] It was so scary, I'm not gonna sleep for weeks.
- Ronnie Anne: Sid, where'd you get that tamale?
- Sid: The spider dropped it.
- [the wrapper reads 'MADE BY ROSA'; Carlos, Maria and Ronnie Anne gasp, followed by Sid, who keeps eating; flashback ends]
- Hector: Rosa, your tamales gave us away!
- Rosa: You weren't complaining when you were stuffing your face.
- Ronnie Anne: Anyway, we realized it was you who scared us.
- Carlos: And us. I mean, uh, Maira.
- Maria: Oh you wish.
- Ronnie Anne: So my friends and I teamed up with Mom and Tío Carlos to get you guys back.
- Laird: We did?
- Ronnie Anne: Laird, I thought you knew?
- Laird: No! No one tells me anything! I've been genuinely terrified all night.
Bad Cluck (2.2)
- Frida: [sobbing in horror] WE’RE GOOD PEOPLE! WHY ARE YOU HAUNTING US?!
- [The cushion feathers form an arrow, and points to Sergio]
- Carlota: Hey, that arrow is totally pointing to Sergio!
- Sergio: [scared; whimpers and flies to the other side; squawks] Is not.
- [The arrow turns around and points at him again]
- Casagrandes: Is too!
- Rosa: Sergio, do you know this chicken?
- Sergio: I had a chicken roommate at flight school, but he moved to a farm, never heard from him again. [realizes] Ooh, Alfredo, is that you? [the cushion feathers form into a mallet, gets bonked on the head, knocked to the floor] Yup, that's him.
- Rosa: Ghosts don't stick around unless they have unfinished business.
- Sergio: Okay, here's all of the money I took. [throws all money to the ground] With interest. [Alfredo’s ghost annoyingly kicks it away] Oh come on, I've made amends, for everything, what more do you want?!
- Alfredo: [flies into Carlos’ nose, possessing him, taking control of his body] Bawk, bawk! Bawk, bawk! [picks up Sergio and pecks him] That’s not the end of the story. Bawk, bawk!
- Carl and Carlota: [gasps] My dad’s a chicken?!
- Frida: [gasps in horror] CARLOS! [sobs] I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
- Rosa: Sergio, what else did you do to this chicken?!
Guilt Trip (3.1)
Short Cut (3.2)
No Egrets (4.1)
- Sergio: [wakes up, groggily by little chirps] Where's the snooze button? [hits the two baby birds on the heads and they bite his wing] OW! What in the world?! [realizes; squawks] Sorry. Didn't mean to nest crash. Gotta go. [chuckles; the two chicks suddenly wrap themselves around his legs] Oh, no you don't. [shakes them off but return and start mimicking his moves] Hey, what's the big idea?
- Baby Egret #1: Mama!
- Baby Egret #2: Mama!
- Sergio: [aghast in horror] Oh no, you got the wrong guy!
- Baby Egrets: Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama.
- Sergio: [backing away to the wall] Nope. Not your mama! Sergio out! [flies through the apartment’s window and closes it behind him] Phew. That was weird.
- Baby Egrets: Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama.
- Sergio: [squawks in panicked shock seeing they beat him] Leave me alone! [tries to fly away as the baby egrets bounce after him and cling to his leg] ¡Híjole! Get these things off of me! [bumps into the apartment door, flies into the kitchen and bursts out of the windows, as Rosa enters with a bag of groceries] Stop! Back, tiny beasts!
- Baby Egrets: [jump onto Sergio’s head] Mama. Mama.
- Rosa: [awed] How darling! Hola, pajaritos.
- [The baby egrets whimper at her, feeling scared]
- Sergio: You like 'em? Take 'em. [pulls the egrets off his leg]
- Rosa: Sergio, those adorable little bebes think you’re their mama.
- Baby Egrets: Mama.
- Sergio: [squawks] Good for them. [starts to fly away]
- Rosa: [grabs Sergio by the tail] Oh, no, you don't. Do you even know where their mama is? They can't survive on their own. Porbrecitos.
- [The baby egrets make sad eyes and whimper]
- Sergio: I am not their mama! Sergio out! [starts to fly away again, but Rosa grabs him again by the tail with her muscular arms and pulls him] Hey!
- Rosa: [threatningly] Sergio Casagrande, you will take care of these sweet pajaritos until they can take care of themselves.
- Sergio: [squawks] I don't take care of anyone but myself. That's how I like it. I'm free as a bird. Ooh, breakfast crackers. [dives in the grocery bag]
- Rosa: [pulls Sergio out of the bag] If you don't take care of them, I don't take care of you. [drops him in the bag]
- Sergio: No snacks? That's just cruel. Fine, let's just get this over with. [One baby egret starts drooling; disgusted] Ew, this one’s leaking.
- [Street Smarts banner; Sergio is about to give the egrets a bath at the park fountain]
- Sergio: Lesson two, bird bath. 'Cause you two stink. Get in, lather up. [kicks the egrets into the fountain, adds bubble bath, and the egrets cheerfully play] Okay, pío píos, let's hurry it up. Chop chop. [the egrets look at each other for a second and spit water at him; squawks] Stop it! Who's washing who here?! [the fountain suddenly starts to rumble as some pigeons fly away from it; knowing what's happening] Uh-oh. Come on, time to go. Vamanos!
- [The egrets chirp cheerfully as they enjoy the wavy water and get blasted upwards and land in a mud puddle, getting covered in mud]
- Sergio: Eh, clean enough. [takes off with them and leaves]
- Vito: Give me back my toppings! [slips on and falls on the mud puddle] Whoa! [sobbing] MY TOPPINGS!!!
- Sergio: [opens a second trash can that's full of dirty diapers] Fuchi! Health code violation!
- Rosa: It's good to see you finally being responsible, Sergio.
- Sergio: You bet I am.
- Ronnie Anne: [enters with Sid, both catching their breath] There they are! We's been looking all over for those birds!
- Sergio: [squawks] You mean my birds. I named them, Sergio Jr. and Sergio Jr. Jr.
- Sid: Actually, they're African black egret chicks. And their names are Yoon and Kwan.
- Ronnie Anne: We left them in the incubator nest last night. But when we came back this morning, they were gone.
- Sid: My mom put me in charge of them, 'cause their mama wasn’t feeling well. Thank you so much for taking care of them.
- Sergio: Oh. [starting to tear up] They have a mom that isn't me? [sniffles] Thank goodness.
- Sid: You’ll be happy to know that she's all better and waiting for them at the zoo.
- Sergio: Oh. [sniffling] Great.
- Ronnie Anne: [surprised] Sergio, are you crying?
- Sergio: [wiping his eyes] Tears of joy. I'm finally getting rid of these kids.
- [Sid tries to pull the baby egrets out of Sergio's hands but Sergio is having a hard time letting them go]
- Rosa: A parent never wants to let go. [pulls Carlos out of nowhere, petting his head and kissing him, to his confusion]
Meal Ticket (4.2)
Fool's Gold (5.1)
- [As everyone digs the hole…]
- CJ: [takes a mini treasure chest out of the hole] I found something!
- Maybelle: [snatches the chest out of CJ’s hand] I’ll take that!
- Everyone: GET HER! [start fighting over it]
- CJ: [takes a piece of foil] This isn't gold, it's just chocolate wrappers.
- Carlos: And the wrappers are coupons. [reads it] "Congratulations you found the golden treasure. Here's thirty percent off for your dining pleasure. Sincerely, Pancho Villa's Tacos."
- [Everyone except Carlos looks at Hector, growling angrily at him]
- Carl: [enraged] Abuelo, you just let us out on a wild goose chase for coupons!?
- Hector: Oh yeah, Pancho Villa’s Tacos. Now I remember, Rosa and I had our first date there. Ha. I must have saved that message in a bottle as a souvenir.
- Stanley: Next stop, disappointment. Chugga chugga boo-hoo.
- Vito: How are you going to make it up to us, Hector? The least you could do is buy us all some tacos.
Flight Plan (5.2)
- Carl: "Operation Sitter-be-gone" was a success, and it’s a beautiful day for flying!
- CJ: [noticing the direction they’re going] Uh, Mom? The planes are that way.
- Frida: Oh, you’re not here for the planes.
- Carl and CJ: [shocked] What?!
- Frida: The only reason you’re here, is because no one else will watch you. So while we enjoy our flight, you three can sit on that bench and think about what you’ve done.
- [The three boys walk over to a bench that’s made out of crates]
- Carl: Aw, I hate thinking about what I’ve done. Can we put the bench on the airplane?
- [Their parents grumble at them and they sit on the bench and walk away]
A Very Casagrandes Christmas (Episode 6)
- Ronnie Anne: Abuela? You guys ready?
- Rosa: We're just finishing up another batch of masa for the tamales.
- Arturo: [takes a sample] Riquisimo, you guys are doing a great job. [Starts taking another sample, Rosa smacks his hand]
- Carlos: [being subtly splattered with masa] Except somebody has trouble keeping the masa in the bowl.
- Maria: [flings a handful at him] Actually, my aim is quite good.
- Carlos: Mom! Maria masa’d me!
- [They both start throwing masa at each other, very childishly]
- Rosa: [getting to old of this] It’s like they’re kids again.
- Frida: [opens the windows and takes a photo] I love reminiscing! [starts to cry]
- Rosa: [separates her adult siblings] This batch of masa is done and so are you two.
- Arturo: Feliz Navidad, hijos.
- Ronnie Anne: This is the best Christmas ever.
- [A knock is heard at the door]
- Rosa: I got it! [opens the door, revealing the Louds]
- Lincoln: Hola, Mrs. Casagrande. We came to pick up Lori at college, but Vanzilla broke down. Would it be all right if we hung out with you this Christmas? [makes a big grin at her and his family does the same]
- Rosa: We’re going to need more masa!
- Everybody: [Nose Gose] Dibs not!
- Arturo: [accidentally the last] Dibs not! Chihuahua.
An Udder Mess (7.1)
Teacher's Fret (7.2)
I, Breakfast Bot (8.1)
- Rosa: Niños, I need help with the chores while I battle the Flores’ toilet. Ronaldo, check the menudo. Sergio, Carl, wash the dishes. CJ, mi vida, fold the clothes in the dryer.
- Ronnie Anne: But Abuela, the season premiere of "Popular Pranks!" is about to start.
- Rosa: You can watch your shows later. Chores first. [The kids groan in disappointment] And clean up this mess, too.
- Sergio: Yeah, get to it, kids.
- [Rosa grabs Sergio with her plunger, giving him a dirty look, looks at her niños as they start to clean up]
- Sid: Anything I can do to help?
- Ronnie Anne: Not unless you can teach Breakfast Bot how to make menudo.
- Sid: I can probably make that happen.
Dynamic Do Over (8.2)
- El Falcón: I'm just an actor, okay? None of this is real.
- Carl: [gasp in shock] Not… real?
- Bobby: Not cool, Falcón! He's just kidding, Carl. Carl? [catches him as he faints; to El Falcón, sharply] You call yourself a hero?!
- [Casagrande apartments; Carl rips off an El Falcón poster from his wall]
- Frida: Mi pollito, don’t throw that away!
- Carl: [crumples up the poster and throws it in the sack, filled with his El Falcón merchandise] What’s the point? El Falcón’s not real. [jumps off of his bed and picks the model piece figure] I’ve been looking up to a fake this whole time!
- Carlos: Not the 10,000-piece El Falcón model! That took us 6 months to build!
- Carl: 6 months down the drain! [dumps the model in the sack as it breaks apart] My childhood may as well be over!
Home Improvement (9.1)
Undivided Attention (9.2)
Karate Chops (10.1)
Taco the Town (10.2)
- Carl: [enters the apartment, naked with bath bubbles covering his body] Hey, Abuelo. I heard tacos and money. I'm in.
- Frida: [off-screen] Carl, get back in the bathtub!
- Ronnie Anne: [getting a text on her phone] Woah, Sameer just texted me that Casey just texted him… that Nikki said your tacos are legit one hundred.
- Rosa: [not understanding] Aye, they want a hundred tacos?
- Ronnie Anne: No, that means really good.
- Vito: Ah! This is taking forever.
- Female Hipster: Yeah, customers buying tacos, like, shouldn't have to rake with the produce people.
- Hector: [whispering to Bobby] She's right.
- Bobby: Okay, people, two lines. If you want tacos, move to the right. For mercado items, move to your left.
- Vito: [stuck in the middle] Ah, no. What if I want both? [looks around and sits down, splitting his pants]
- Carl: Abuelo? What are you doing?
- Hector: [wearing an apron, has his hair in a bun, vacuuming] Apparently it's my job to clean the house now.
- Carl: You've turned into Abuela! [laughs] A bald Abuela! [Hector takes off his flip flop and tries to throw it at him, but bounces off the floor and hits him] And you don't have Abuela's aim.
Saving Face (11.1)
Matters of the Kart (11.2)
- Carl: [peeps out from under the table cover] A-are they gone? [sees his family and Irving all angrily staring at him; hesitant] I mean, I'm so glad you’re all okay. Why didn't you come under the table like I told you to?
- Irving: [unhappily points to him] You pushed us out of the way to save yourself. [sighs] I thought you were better than that.
- Carl: [upset with guilt and disbelief] I'm so sorry, Irving. I'm not the deserving young person you think I am. I pretended to be someone I'm not, so you'd give me the go-kart. I even hired those birds to attack you back at the park.
- Rosa: [sharped with anger] Carl, I knew you were tricking this nice man out his tiny car.
- Carl: [offering the keys to Irving] Here, Irving.
- Irving: Hm.
- Carl: I hope you find someone who deserves that go-kart.
- Irving: Actually, keep the keys. [tosses the keys to him]
- Carl: Huh?
- Irving: I believe in giving people a second chance. And I have an idea for how you can earn the go-kart.
Chancla Force (12.1)
- [Casagrande apartment; Carl, CJ, and Hector sit at the table waiting for Rosa with dinner]
- Rosa: Dinnertime! [enters with a pot of boiled asparagus]
- Hector: [holds out his plate as his wife dips asparagus; looks around, confused] Where is everybody?
- Rosa: I told you, hijo, [takes out her phone showing a photo of Frida and Carlos at Burning Flan] Frida and Carlos went to that big art and music festival, Burning Flan, [scrolls down to another photo of Ronnie Anne and Bobby at their father’s] and Ronnie Anne and Bobby are at Arturo’s for the weekend.
- Hector: Oh. Dibs on their dinner! [scoops out even more asparagus on his plate and stuffs them in his mouth]
- Rosa: Carl, CJ, don’t forget your espárragos. [dips asparagus on the boy's plates, much to their disgust]
- Carl: [disgusted] Oh, yucko!
- Rosa: [dissatisfied] Carl, you need your vegetables.
- Carl: Okay, Abuela, I’ll eat ‘em. [calling out] Release the chocolate sauce and sprinkles!
- [Sergio flies in, wearing a helmet and holding the sprinkles and chocolate sauce, aiming for his target and fires]
- Rosa: Release the chancla! [takes off her chancla and deflects the the hit, back at Sergio, immobilizing him, much to the boy's disappointment]
- Carl: Gimme some! [grabs and wrings Sergio over his mouth]
- Sergio: [squawks] Release the Sergio!
- Casagrandes: [closing in on Carl, like zombies] Give us the chanclas! Give us the chanclas! Give us the chanclas! Give us the chanclas!
- Carl: [panics and sees Rosa sleeping on the couch, still barefooted] Come on, chanclas. Do your thing. [throws the chanclas at Rosa's feet]
- Casagrandes: NO!!!
- Sergio: [grabs the chanclas] Chancla smoothie, anyone? [tosses the chanclas into the smoothie maker Lalo’s holding]
- [Lalo closes the top and grins evilly at Carl]
- Casagrandes: [cheering and chanting] Chancla, uno! Chanclas, dos! Time to say adiós!
- Carl: [screams in horrified shock] NOOOOOO!!! [camera zooms in and out of his mouth, finding him in bed, revealing it was all a dream] Come back, chanclas! [sobbing] Come back! [falls off his bed, looking around] Wait, it was a dream? [opens the secret compartment, the chanclas are still there] It was a dream! [kisses the chanclas, which he remembers are also his abuela's shoes, groans disgusted] Chancla flavored.
- Rosa: See, Mijo? You don't need the force of the chancla to behave like a good boy. Goodness is inside you already.
- Carl: Oh, okay. Here are your chanclas, abuela.
- Rosa: Thank you, Carl. I got this.
Fluff Love (12.2)
- Carlos: Wham-A-Rat, I played this as a kid. Mind if we join you for a round?
- Frida: The whole familia, whamming ratas! I cherish these moments… [howls in anger and starts whamming rats]
- Mr. Fluff: Hi, Carlitos! I’m Mr. Fluff. I want to be your best friend.
- Mr. Fluff: It’s a long walk to the arcade. You might need some wheels.
- [Carlitos looks around and sees Laird holding his skateboard]
- Laird: [calling out] You coming down, Ronnie Anne? I finally perfected my move. [hops on] I call it, "the Laird-inator." [Carlitos looks up the sky, seeing a group of pigeons swarming down, picks up a cracker box] Come on, Laird. You got this. You just have to believe in yourself! [Carlitos throws the crackers on his head; jumps, but is unknowingly picked up by the pigeons] Wow, I'm getting some serious air!
- [Lalo bursts into the apartment, alerting the family about Carlitos' escape]
- Frida: Shh! Lalo, Carlitos is sleeping.
- Carlos: Maybe Lalo wants us to take him for a walk.
- Frida, Carl, and CJ: Not it!
- Carlos: Not it! [groans] Why am I always it? Don’t play without-- meeee!
- [Lalo bursts into the bathroom, only finding Vito in there, who's using it]
- Vito: [alarmed] Whoa! Don't people knock around here?!
- Vito: Hey, Carlos, I won two prizes in the claw machine!
- Carlos: Uh-huh. That’s great, Vito.
- Vito: Hey, Bruno, thanks for watching the boys. [to his dogs] Big Tony, Little Sal. I got presents for you. Enjoy your new chew toys!
- [Carlitos reacts in horrified shock]
- Mr. Fluff: [horrified] Chew toys?! RUN, QUICK! Before we’re dog food!
- Mr. Fluff: Oh, no! If your dad finds us, he'll know you snuck out! This way!
- [They both gasp to see Vito's dogs spotting and coming towards them; Carlitos terrifyingly looks both ways at Lalo, trying to break free from Carlos' grip, and Vito's dogs, spots Alexis sitting next to a tree, lonely, talks to Mr. Fluff]
- Mr. Fluff: You want to give me to Alexis? But I thought we were going to be best friends. [Carlitos declines, speaks more] You're trying to save me? [touched] Aww. You really are a good friend. [Carlitos hugs him and tosses him towards Alexis, waving in mid-air] I'll never forget you, Carlitos!
- Alexis: [curious] Whoa, where did you come from, Pinguino? [takes Mr. Fluff out for a walk]
- [Big Tony and Little Sal charge at Carlitos but he climbs up the top of the statue from them as Sergio and Sancho fly down]
- Sergio: Carlitos. [squawks] What's with the getup? [Carltios babbles in gibberish, pointing down to Vito's dogs; squawks] You're gonna be dog food? [Carlitos babbles again, pointing to himself, saying he'll get punished for sneaking out] Or in trouble for sneaking out? [squawks] You owe me one.
- [Lalo walks up with the ripped-up teddy bear Carlitos used as a disguise during his adventure]
- Carlos: Lalo, did you do this?! Bad dog!
- [Lalo barks at the viewers with confusion; episode ends]
Battle of the Grandpas (13.1)
- Phoebe Powers: You guys should always respect your elders.
- Carl: [excited] Is that who I think it is?!
- [The kids run to the window]
- Carlota: He didn't tell us he was coming!
- Ronnie Anne: Who is that guy?
- CJ, Carl, and Carlota: Grandpa Danny!
- Carl: He's the coolest!
- Carlota: You’re gonna love him, Ronnie Anne. He's a movie stuntman!
- [The kids rush outside of the apartment building]
- Hector: [walks to the window, looks down; displeased] Oh, no. Not that bobo again.
- Frida: [comes out the building, holding Carlitos; joyfully] Papa! [chuckles with tears of joy as she hugs her papa]
- Grandpa Danny: Mi amorcito! I saw these fancy tissues, and I thought of you. [holds up a gold box of tissues]
- Frida: [takes a tissue, wiping a tear from her eye] They feel like silky pillows and smell like cotton candy! [giggles]
- [In the Mercado, Hector is still grumpy and thinking about Grandpa Danny]
- Vito: Hey ya, Hector!
- Hector: Que grandpa? I'm Bobby and Ronnie Anne’s grandpa, not him. That bobo’s always showing up to steal the spotlight!
- Vito: That’s the famous Grandpa Danny? I don’t get it. Take away his cash, his looks, and his bike. What do you have left?
- Sergio: Hector! [snickers]
- [Hector takes a concha from the dessert plate and throws it at Sergio]
- Vito: You're just as cool as that guy. Whoa! Is he doing hand-stand push ups?
- Carl: Wrong day to wear red chonies, Abuelo!
- Hector: Uh oh.
- Rosa: [gets up from the buried pile of dirty chonies and steams with fury] No more pranks in my house! [points to the door] Fuera!
- [Ronnie Anne and Sid skedaddle through the door and out of the apartment building]
- Ronnie Anne: I called this truce to say we're not sure this prank thing is working out.
- Sid: Nice try, Ronnie Anne, pranking me into thinking it's over. Pssh! I see you.
- Ronnie Anne: Sid, I'm serious. You have some great ideas, but you can't expect to be prank master in a day. It takes time and you're... kinda sorta...
- Sergio: [squawks] Wrecking the Prankaversary!
- Lincoln & Ronnie Anne: [aghast] Sergio!
- Sid: No, he's right.
- Lincoln: Maybe you can practice and join the next year.
- Sid: Yeah, totally. I was sick of pranking anyway. I just didn't want to bail on you guys. But since you're cool, I think I'll head to the zoo. [takes her box of pranks and leaves]
- Ronnie Anne: Think we were too harsh?
- Lincoln: Couldn't have hurt worse than getting pummeled by mangoes.
- Ronnie Anne: Good point. Well, guess it's back to the prank war.
Zoo-mergency! (Episode 14)
- Breakfast Bot: That was not a sufficient break. [hears Adelaide and the marmosets whistling from an underground tunnel] Do I hear whistling?
- [Cut to Adelaide and the marmosets whistling while tunneling during their escape plan, but only to be blocked by a Gala sign post...]
- Adelaide: Well, I don't think I can fit past this, but you guys should be able to. Go on ahead.
Just Be Coo (15.1)
- Sergio: [holding a radio, fanny pack and a bright pair of sunglasses; squawks and dances] Sancho's having a rager!
- Rosa: Another party. At this hour? Ay. I could never live with a pajaro like Sancho.
- Sergio: He can't help it. He's a wild animal. Don’t wait up! [pushes a button on his radio, but screams as the radio pushes him through the door, leaving a parrot-shaped mark]
- [Sancho is banging from outside the window, cooing frantically]
- Sergio: Oh, it's you. [opens the window and Sancho comes in] Party's over, dude. [tries to calm him down as he coos in protest] Someone's after you? [gasps; suspicious] Did you forget to pay the DJ?
- [Sancho takes out his phone, showing him a news report]
- Jim Sparkletooth: This is Jim Sparkletooth with breaking news. A famous city sculpture has been-- [stands aside, revealing the statue being covered in light-green muck all over] pigeon pooped! We're now here with--
- Marcus: [angrily interrupting] This is the last caw! I'll catch all those pigeons! [pulls out and shows the camera a photo of Sancho] Then, I'll bring their ringleader to justice!
- [Sergio is in the kitchen, loading an amount of food on a wheelbarrow, and is startled in alarm to see Hector]
- Hector: That's a lot of comida, Sergio. You better eat it all, otherwise, you're wasting money. [fiercely] My money!
- Sergio: [sweating nervously] Don't worry. Got two stomachs. [squawks in shock to see Sancho appearing in sight and jumps into the trash can; mutters and mimes at him to get out of there, only for Sancho to cheekily giggle and wave at him]
- Hector: What are you waving at?
- Sergio: [flaps his wings frantically] Oh, uh, nothing. Look, not a penny wasted. [quickly stuffs a load of food in his mouth, while looking back and forth at Sancho eating food crumbs from under the oven and spaghetti stripes from in the sink; lays on his back with a bloated stomach]
- Hector: Wow. You can fit so much food in your belly. I'm jealous. [walks out of the kitchen]
- Sergio: [groans] Mi estomago. (My stomach.) [Sancho comes out from under the sink doors and hops out of the kitchen] Sancho? Hey! [lets out an enormous belch, making his stomach shrink back to normal size] Get back here! [shoves Sancho back into Ronnie Anne's room; squawks] Not cool. You'll get me in trouble! [walks to the TV to give it to him] Just sit and watch TV. [turns back and see Sancho has already disappeared; facepalms himself, groaning; whispering while finding him] Sancho? Where are you?! [hears Sancho in the bathroom, finds him playing in the toilet, closes the door; Sancho picks up and brushes his back with the toilet brush; trying to pull him out of the toilet] Sancho, not time for a toilet bath! [Sancho brushes his head with the brush, cooing playfully]
- Rosa: [opens the bathroom door, seeing Sergio on the toilet seat, reading a newspaper at the moment] Ay! Perdon, Sergio.
- Sergio: [squawks] Almost done!
- [Sancho is heard splashing and groaning aggressively from beneath, making Sergio sweat and uncomfortable]
- Rosa: [flinching and cringing in disgust] Okay, I'll be right outside! [rushes out and closes the bathroom door]
- [Sancho pops up directly below Sergio, springing him up]
- Sergio: [annoyed with anger] Sancho! [pulls him out of the toilet, only to slip and fall in it; Sancho flushes the toilet as he struggles to get out and spins down, pushes his way out by losing his feathers on the lower half of his body; Sancho bursts out with laughter at his friend's new look; walks out of the bathroom, informing Rosa, waiting outside] All yours!
- Rosa: [spots Sergio's shaved lower half as he walks away] Ooh!
- Sergio: [drags Sancho back to Ronnie Anne's room, tosses him to the window; losing his temper] THAT'S IT! YOU'RE OUT!
- Sancho: Coo? (Why?)
- Sergio: Why?! You don't listen! [pokes his face repeatedly] Can't follow rules. Bet you did poop on that statue! [Sancho angrily coos in protest] Yeah, I said it. Want my help? Here, wear this hat. [puts a red cap on Sancho's head] Nobody will recognize you. Good luck. [kicks Sancho out and closes the window and blinds; flies into the living room, holding a box of crackers in his arm, and sits on the couch with Lalo who's laying on the carpet chewing on a frisbee; squawks] Finally, some me time. [munches on some crackers, takes out the remote, and changes the channel]
- [On the news report, Marcus has captured Sancho, trapped in a cage, and taken him to the animal pound with the other pigeons]
- Jim Sparkletooth: Breaking news, the last pigeon has been caught and taken to the pound. Authorities say he was wearing a hat as a disguise. Did he really think that would work? Talk about a bird-brained idea.
- [Sergio groans; In a courtroom case, Marcus is threatening Sancho]
- Marcus: [banging the gavel, threateningly] I hereby sentence you to 15 years in the pound! [drops Sancho down through a trap door]
- [Lalo tosses the frisbee into the air and Sergio misses the catch as it gets into the tree]
- Sergio: I got it! [flies up to the tree, gets the frisbee, and finds a nest that’s also sitting there; remorseful] Aww, Sancho and I always woke up there after parties. [groans] Wonder where Sancho's sleeping now.
- [Sancho is in his jail cell, scratching down the number of days with words entitled, "Days in Pound because of Sergio" on the wall, sleeps on his pillow, feeling completely lonely]
- Sergio: [jumps down from the tree] Oh. Park is boring. [throws the frisbee away] Let's go somewhere else. [rides on Lalo out of the park to a dumpster across the street] Oh, Sancho and I used to eat here all the time. [squawks sadly] Wonder what he's eating now.
- [Marcus serves Sancho a bowl with only one celery and Sancho sobs; Little later, Sergio and Lalo walk out of the pizzeria restaurant after ordering a pizza and walk to a TV store; On TV, two pigeons are seen arguing]
- Sergio: [fully upset] Aw, our favorite TV show. I wonder what Sancho is watching right now.
- [Sancho is watching from a broken TV program of two bored pigeons talking to each other in a ruined setting, then bursts into tears]
- Sergio: [shaking with his hands on his head in despair] What have I done?! Sancho may be a pain in the beak, but he's my best friend! We gotta save him! [he and Lalo set off to the pound]
- Vito: [as Sergio tosses out a pizza on his head; blindfolded] Hey, whoa! It's raining pizza! [Big Tony and Little Sal jump on Vito's head, chowing down the pizza, attacking him] Hey, stop you two! Hey, that tickles.
Tee'd Off (15.2)
- [The Casagrandes are all cleaning the floors, windows, and furniture around the apartment]
- Bobby: Good morning, Abuela. I got up super early to do my part for our big day of cleaning. I'm visiting Lori at her golf college today. It's a surprise! [squirts mustard on the table and wipes it]
- Rosa: She'll be so happy to see you. [annoyed] And I'll be happy when you clean with soap instead of mustard.
- Bobby: Huh? Aw, man. I'll go get the ketchup to get it out.
- Bobby: [tiptoeing to Lori's golf caddy, trying not to be seen, sprays perfume on himself] Lori's gonna be so surprised! [gets in Lori's bag and hides with red flowers]
- Ewan: Nice form, Lori! Looking good! [gives her a thumbs up and winks]
- Lori: [chuckles] Thanks to all the one-on-one time you've given me.
- Bobby: [heartbroken; pops the flowers] One-on-one time?! [wobbles and falls off the golf cart, rolling down towards them] Hey, babe. [chuckles]
- Lori: [gasps] Bobby?
- Bobby: Yep. That's right, your… [stares fiercely at Ewan] boyfriend, Bobby. [back to Lori, normally] I came to surprise you. But enough about me. Who's this guy?
- Lori: This is my classmate, Ewan.
- Ewan: You must be the famous [slaps Bobby on the back] Poo Poo Bear I've heard so much about.
- Bobby: It's "Boo Boo Bear."
- Lori: Ewan's been helping me with my game. He's literally the best golfer here.
- Bobby: Nice! Helping how exactly?
- Lori: Oh. With techniques like this. [makes an impression of Ewan] "Grip the club tight, Lori. Widen your stands. You're doing great!" [chuckles] That's my impersonation of Ewan.
- Ewan: That is so me, Lori! [he and Lori both laugh]
- Lori: Right?
- Bobby: [nervously chuckles] This is all so funny for me.
- Ewan: Lori's amazing. You're a lucky guy.
- Bobby: Thanks, Urine.
- Ewan: "Ewan".
- Bobby: Urine. Got it.
- Lori: [hugs Bobby] I'm so excited you're here! [sees and points to Carl and Sergio laying on a hammock] Is that Carl and Sergio?
- Carl: Hey, what up double L?
- Bobby: They kind of invited themselves.
- Lori: Ooh, I wanna show you how much better my drive's gotten. All thanks to Ewan.
- Ewan: Oh stop, Lori. You’re making me blush.
- Bobby: Great. [chuckles] Well, give me a sec to check on the boys. Gotta make sure they’re behaving themselves. [walks backwards to Carl and Sergio; whispering] Did you guys see all that?! I think that guy's into Lori. And she doesn't exactly seem to hate him, either!
- Carl: You're right to worry. That dude is after your girl.
- Sergio: [squawks] He's hot. And you’re… you.
- Bobby: [groans] This is awful! What do I do?
- Carl: Relax. You just have to make him look like a chump.
- Bobby: You don't think that's kinda mean?
- Carl: Huh. Suit yourself. But don’t come crying to me on their wedding day.
- Bobby: [shocked] Wha…?! [fading into his thoughts, he stands outside the church window, watches Ewan putting a golf-ball style ring on Lori's finger and Lori and Ewan get married as they kiss, cries in despair and slowly slides down; back to reality, grabs Carl by the collar] I'll do whatever it takes!
- Lori: Oh, Boo Boo Bear, there you are.
- Bobby: Babe, I just had a fantastic idea. I was thinking Ewan and I should have a friendly little golf competition, huh? To get to know each other better.
- Lori: [touched] Aw, that's so sweet. But you don't play golf, Boo Boo Bear. And Ewan's undefeated.
- Ewan: Guilty as charged.
- Bobby: Then he can give me some pointers as we play.
- Ewan: Sure, I think I can swing that.
- Lori: [snaps fingers] Ooh. [she and Ewan laugh]
- Bobby: [laughs harder, unable to control his annoyed anger] Well, may the best man win. [he and Ewan shake hands]
- Ewan: You mean lowest score.
- Bobby: Right. See, I'm learning already.
- Bobby: [to Lori] You and Ewan were getting so close, I was afraid I'd lose you. So I made Ewan look bad. I'm so sorry, Lori... and Ewan... and everyone.
- Lori: Bobby, that's ridiculous. I love you so much, I would never leave you for Ewan. Or anyone.
- Bobby: Really?
- Lori: Of course, Boo Boo Bear.
- [The crowd goes in awe as they kiss]
- Ewan: So, I'm not awful at golf then? I still got it?
- Coach Niblick: Of course, [chuckles] I knew it all along. I was just kidding before. [Sits up, begging] Please don't leave us, Ewan.
- Ewan: Relax, Coach. I'm not going anywhere.
- [Sunset at the Fairway University entrance, Bobby and Lori hug each other goodbye]
- Bobby: I'll miss you so much, babe.
- Lori: Oh, I'll miss you even more, Boo Boo Bear.
- Bobby: [dials his phone after kissing with Lori] Hi, Abuela. We're just heading back.
- Carl: [snatches his phone; feigning sadness] Abuela! We missed the whole day of cleaning. Oh, it's so sad!
- Rosa: Cheer up, mijo. I saved your chores for you. Good luck getting out of it this time, muchachos.
- Sergio: [squawks] I'm outta here!
- Carl: [reaching out] Take me with you!
Lalo Land (16.1)
- Vito: Big Tony and Little Sal are gonna nail the auditions! They were born to be famous.
- Carl: I've got a better way. Lalo, just think of something really sad. It's what I do to get out of punishments.
- [Lalo thinks for a second; Flashback to him as a puppy, chasing after a red ball, the ball falls into the sewer and puppy Lalo bursts into tears; End of flashback, Lalo's tears fill up the living room]
- Ronnie Anne: Whoa, he's good.
- Mr. Nakamura: [disappointed with Nelson] Why did you have to bite the director? Bad Nelson.
- Ronnie Anne: We're here for the auditions.
- Chuck: Great! You're up after those two.
- [Big Tony and Little Sal show their fighting moves and end up getting tangled up]
- Vito: They did that on purpose. [chuckles]
- Director: Next!
- Ronnie Anne: Hey. There's Lalo on set.
- CJ: Does that suit look too tight for him?
- Director: [enraged] You! You just ruined my movie!
- Ronnie Anne: Yeah? Well you almost ruined my dog!
- [Lalo nods in agreement]
- Director: What?! The dog was never in any real danger. This is a movie set, kid! See all the special effects?
- Carlos: Are you ready, papa?
- Hector: [eating a torta, without pants, or enthusiasm] Ya seen one building, ya seen 'em all. Why am I going?
- Carlos: Anyone who donated was invited.
- Hector: Uh... I don't remember donating.
- Rosa: I did. Now put some pants on and lose the torta. You'll ruin your suit.
- Hector: I'm not a baby, I know how to eat. [eats the whole torta in his mouth, except for the condiments which end up on him; whining] Rosa, my shirt!
- [Bobby, wearing cat jammies, and Carlota, wearing a prom dress, are both arguing in the living room]
- Carlota: [in unison] I know what I'm talking about.
- Bobby: [in unison] What?! No way. You're wrong.
- Carlota: I'm telling you, Bobby, word on the street is that the secret theme for Par's party, is prom.
- Bobby: No way! It's kigurumi. Animal pajamas are so in. You can party and nap without changing.
- Rosa: Bobby, Carlota, I need one of you to watch the kids tonight.
- Bobby: But Abuela, I can't miss Par's party, he's my BFF. He'll kill me.
- Carlota: And I need to be there for my vlog. If Cindy Tran gets the scoop on me again, she'll steal more of my subscribers! [takes out her phone, showing Cindy's vlog]
- Cindy: Hey, it's Cindy Tran with Tran Talk! [sighs] Don't you just love me?
- Carlota: [in a vicious tone] She's my nemesis. [in unison with Bobby] Make him do it!
- Bobby: [in unison with Carlota] Make her do it!
- [Rosa annoyingly takes one of her heels off and spins it on her finger, threatening them both]
- Bobby and Carlota: Right. We'll figure it out.
- Rosa: I knew you would.
- Carolta: Alright, hear me out. I'll go for the first half of the party, and you take the second half.
- Bobby: What? No way. Last time I was that late to one of Par's parties, Par didn't speak to me for a week. It was torture.
- Carlota: [thinking about it] Then how about we take shifts? 30 minutes each, I'm going first.
- Bobby: What? Why?! No fair!
- Carlota: You're right, what about if you stay, and I go first?
- Bobby: [not realizing] Much better.
- Carlota: Great! See you in 30. Bye! [leaves]
- Bobby: [realizes] Wait. Darn it! [slaps himself in his face]
- [Bobby gasps as he and Carlota both see what the boys have done]
- Carlota: [horrified] What did you guys do?!
- Carl: [smugly] Uh-uh-uh, you said we could. [takes out his phone]
- Carlota: I did not.
- Carl: [plays the recording; on recording] Hey, Carlota. Uh, can we get the snow cone machine out of the storage room and make shaved ice for dinner?
- Carlota: [on recording] Sure, sounds good. [over the barrel] Ugh! Fine, my bad. But when Abuela sees this mess, we're all in for chancla time.
- Carlitos, Carl, and CJ: [horrfied] Chancla time?!
- Sergio: Clean for your lives!
- Rosa: So, who ended up babysitting?
- Carlota: [in hasty unison] Bobby
- Bobby: [in hasty unison] Carlota.
- Rosa: Well, whoever it was, seems like you did a good job.
- [Hector sits down, right on top of the 'on' button, and gets snow blasted onto the ceiling]
- Ronnie Anne: [decided to finally come out of her room, and enters] Hey, guys. What did I miss?
Do the Fruit Shake (17.1)
Throwing Pains (17.2)
- Sid: What year is it? How long have I been frozen?
- Laird: This is heaven on-- [gets hit by a dodgeball]
- Dodge: Hey! Can we get our ball back?
- Ronnie Anne: Hey, Dodge. Here you go. [throws the ball back at her] We were wondering if we could share the gym with you since it’s too cold outside to skate.
- Dodge: Oh, of course you can. Not!
- [Her teammates laugh rudely]
- Ronnie Anne: Oh, come on. The gym’s big enough for all of us.
- Dodge: Too bad. We were here, first. Now take your boards, and go! [throws the ball at the door as it opens]
Spin Off (18.1)
Tooth or Consequences (18.2)
- Adelaide: [gasps in surprise and amazement] Check it out. My wiggly tooth finally came out.
- [Close-up of Adelaide's wide open mouth and a little gap where her fallen tooth used to be.]
- Adelaide: [whistles loudly with no fingers in her mouth] But... where did it go?
Operation: Popstar (Episode 19)
- Rosa: Familia, time for lunch! It’s ceviche tostadas day!
- [The Casagrandes and Sid take their seats at the table]
- Carlota: Hey, Abuela, is it okay if my friend joins us for lunch?
- Rosa: Of course, Mijia, all are welcome. [gasps in surprise as Alisa comes in]
- Everyone: [surprised] Alisa!
- Alisa: Hola, Casagrandes family! It’s so great to see you again. [sniffs] I’m sorry, but is that… tostadas de ceviche?!
- Rosa: You bet, Mija! Ven aquí! Let me get you a little serving.
- Alisa: [takes a seat at the end of the table and Rosa walks up with a plate of ceviche tostadas; gasps] Gracias! Ceviche is my favorite. [picks up a tostada and eats it; gasps with amazement] So good!
- Alisa: Aye, my makeup's running.
- Carlota: Don’t worry, I’ll clean you up. [looks around for her makeup bag and realizes she accidentally left it back at the hotel; gasps in horror] My makeup bag! I left it at the hotel! I’ll have to go back!
- Alisa: Oof, good luck. 12 is Midnight is staying on my floor, and their fans are even more intense than mine.
- [Ronnie Anne spits out her orange juice and she and Sid gasp over hearing that]
- Sid: Did you say 12 is Midnight is on your floor?!
- Ronnie Anne and Sid: We can get it for you.
- Ronnie Anne: Um, I mean, we’d be happy to help you out, my sweet prima. [gives her prima cute eyes and blinks]
- Alisa: Oh, awesome. Thanks, muchachas. Here’s my key card. Help yourself to any snacks in the--
- Sid: [holding her Yoon Kwan standee] Let’s go, paper Yoon Kwan!
- Ronnie Anne: Boy, these celebrities sure stay in some ritzy places.
- [The girls walk up at the hotel and enter]
- Sid: That key card let’s go anywhere in the hotel, and if we’re super duper lucky, we'll catch a glimpse of 12 is Midni--
- [The girls gasp as they see their favorite band walking to the elevator; the crowd shouts in excitement and take photos of them with their phones]
- Ronnie Anne: [hyperventilating and holding Sid as they both jump on their feet] They’re… They’re… They’re right there. [mumbles]
- [As 12 is Midnight enter the elevator, Yoon Kwan sticks his head out and winks hearts out his eye as the love scent swirls around the girls and sigh dreamily]
- Ronnie Anne: Now let’s go get the "makeup kit".
Strife Coach (20.1)
Gossipy Girl (20.2)
- Becky: Look, everyone! Here comes the bride!