The Casagrandes/Season 2
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The Kid Plays in the Picture (1.1)
Achy Breaky Art (1.2)
- Carlota: Guys, Artemio Alcaraz's review of Mama's art just went live.
- Ronnie Anne: Nice, must be good right?
- Sergio: [squawks] Think again.
- Carlota: It's horrible!
- Carl: What?! But he said her stuff was a wonder!
- CJ: And a vision.
- Carlota: And breath-taking, I know. [reads the review] "Frida Puga Casagrande's art is a wonder... I wonder how it could be so bad."
- Ronnie Anne: What? Let me see that. "[takes Carlota's phone, reading the rest] "Her sculptures are a vision of horror. While her painting is breath-taking in it's ability to make me feel disgust." [gasps in horror at the next part] "She should quit being an artist."
- [The Casagrande kids gasp]
- Bobby: Wow, none of those words mean what I thought they meant.
- Carlota: This will break Mama's heart.
- Ronnie Anne: Not if she never sees it.
- Bobby: Good idea! [grabs Carlota’s phone and throws it in the trash, much to her annoyance]
- Carlota: [annoyed] Thanks, Bobby.
Fails from the Crypt (2.1)
- Ronnie Anne: [walks down the hall with her sleeping bag, packed up, humming; bumps into her grandparents looking cross as they’re blocking her way to the door; grunts] Uh, can I just get to the door?
- Hector: Sergio tells us you're camping in Great Lakes City Cemetary tonight.
- Rosa: Mis bebes? At a cemetary? At night?! Nunca!
- Hector: Much too scary for kids.
- Sergio: [squawks] Even for me!
- Ronnie Anne: Well, that's the point. Legend has it 40 years ago, a group known as the Fearless Four spent the entire night in the cemetary. No one's been brave enough to do it since. Until tonight. [points to Maria on the couch, munching on popcorn, with her hermano sitting next to her, reading a book] And Mom gave me permission!
- Rosa: Well, I’m her mom, and I didn’t give her permission to give you permission.
- Maria: Oh, come on, Mama. You let Carlos and me go when we were kids.
- Carlos: Heh! Maybe you’ll make it longer than we did. Maria couldn’t last an hour.
- Maria: [scoffs] Me? You wanted to leave.
- Carlos: Uh, no...I’m pretty sure that was you.
- Maria: I really don’t think so. [pushes her hermano’s book of the couch; starts getting in a cat fight with him] You gonna cry, huh? Gonna cry, widdle baby boy?
- Carlos: MOM!
Bad Cluck (2.2)
- Frida: [sobbing in horror] WE’RE GOOD PEOPLE! WHY ARE YOU HAUNTING US?!
- [The cushion feathers form an arrow, and points to Sergio]
- Carlota: Hey, that arrow is totally pointing to Sergio!
- Sergio: [scared; whimpers and flies to the other side; squawks] Is not.
- [The arrow turns around and points at him again]
- Casagrandes: Is too!
- Rosa: Sergio, do you know this chicken?
- Sergio: I had a chicken roommate at flight school, but he moved to a farm, never heard from him again. [realizes] Ooh, Alfredo, is that you? [the cushion feathers form into a mallet, gets bonked on the head, knocked to the floor] Yup, that's him.
- Rosa: Ghosts don't stick around unless they have unfinished business.
- Sergio: Okay, here's all of the money I took. [throws all money to the ground] With interest. [Alfredo’s ghost annoyingly kicks it away] Oh come on, I've made amends, for everything, what more do you want?!
- Alfredo: [flies into Carlos’ nose, possessing him, taking control of his body] Bawk, bawk! [picks up Sergio and pecks him] Bawk, bawk! That’s not the end of the story. Bawk, bawk!
- Carl and Carlota: [gasps] My dad’s a chicken?!
- Frida: [gasps in horror] CARLOS! [sobs] I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
- Rosa: Sergio, what else did you do to this chicken?!
Guilt Trip (3.1)
Short Cut (3.2)
No Egrets (4.1)
- Sergio: Stop! Back, tiny beasts!
- Baby Egrets: [jump onto Sergio’s head] Mama. Mama.
- Rosa: [awed] How darling! Hola, pajaritos.
- [The baby egrets whimper at her, feeling scared]
- Sergio: You like ‘em? Take ‘me. [pulls the egrets off his leg]
- Rosa: Sergio, those adorable little bebes think you’re their mama.
- Baby Egrets: Mama.
- Sergio: [squawks] Good for them. [starts to fly away]
- Rosa: [grabs Sergio by the tail] Oh, no, you don’t. Do you even know where their mama is? They can’t survive on their own. Porbrecitos.
- [The baby egrets make sad eyes and whimper]
- Sergio: I am not their mama! Sergio out! [starts to fly away again, but Rosa grabs him again by the tail and pulls him with her muscular arms] Hey!
- Rosa: [threatningly] Sergio Casagrande, you will take care of these sweet pajaritos until they can take care of themselves.
- Sergio: [squawks] I don’t take care of anyone but myself. That’s how I like it. I’m free as a bird. Ooh, breakfast crackers. [dives in the grocery bag]
- Rosa: [pulls Sergio out of the bag] If you don’t take care of them, I don’t take care of you. [drops him in the bag]
- Sergio: No snacks? That’s just cruel. Fine, let’s just get this over with. [One baby egret starts drooling; disgusted] Ew, this one’s leaking.
- Vito: Give me back my toppings! [slips on and falls on the mud puddle] Whoa! [sobbing] MY TOPPINGS!!!
- Rosa: It’s good to see you finally being responsible, Sergio.
- Sergio: You bet I am.
- Ronnie Anne: [enters with Sid, both catching their breath] There they are! We’ve been looking all over for those birds!
- Sergio: [squawks] You mean my birds. I named them, Sergio Jr. and Sergio Jr. Jr.
- Sid: Actually, they’re African black egret chicks. And their names are Yoon and Kwan.
- Ronnie Anne: We left them in the incubator nest last night. But when we came back this morning, they were gone.
- Sid: My mom put me in charge of them, ‘cause their mama wasn’t feeling well. Thank you so much for taking care of them.
- Sergio: Oh. [starting to tear up] They have a mom that isn’t me? [sniffles] Thank goodness.
- Sid: You’ll be happy to know that she’s all better and waiting for them at the zoo.
- Sergio: Oh. [sniffling] Great.
- Ronnie Anne: [surprised] Sergio, are you crying?
- Sergio: [wiping his eyes] Tears of joy. I’m finally getting rid of these kids.
- [Sid tries to pull the baby egrets out of Sergio’s hands but Sergio’s having a hard time letting them go]
- Rosa: A parent never wants to let go. [pulls Carlos out of nowhere, petting his head and kissing him, to his confusion]
Meal Ticket (4.2)
Fool's Gold (5.1)
- CJ: [takes a chest box out of the hole] I found something!
- Maybelle: [swipes the chest out of CJ’s hand] I’ll take that!
- Everyone: GET HER!
Flight Plan (5.2)
- Carl: Operation: Sitter-be-gone was a success, and it’s a beautiful day for flying!
- CJ: [noticing the direction they’re going] Uh, Mom? The planes are that way.
- Frida: Oh, you’re not here for the planes.
- Carl and CJ: [shocked] What?!
- Frida: The only reason you’re here, is because no one else will watch you. So while we enjoy our flight, you three can sit on that bench and think about what you’ve done.
- [The three boys walk over to a bench that’s made out of crates]
- Carl: Aw, I hate thinking about what I’ve done. Can we put the bench on the airplane?
- [Their parents grumble at them and they sit on the bench and walk away]
A Very Casagrandes Christmas (Episode 6)
- Ronnie Anne: Abuela? You guys ready?
- Rosa: We're just finishing up another batch of masa for the tamales.
- Arturo: [takes a sample] Riquisimo, you guys are doing a great job. [Starts taking another sample, Rosa smacks his hand]
- Carlos: [being subtly splattered with masa] Except somebody has trouble keeping the masa in the bowl.
- Maria: [flings a handful at him] Actually, my aim is quite good.
- Carlos: Mom! Maria masa’d me!
- [They both start throwing masa at each other, very childishly]
- Rosa: [getting to old of this] It’s like they’re kids again.
- Frida: [opens the windows and takes a photo] I love reminiscing! [starts to cry]
- Rosa: [separates her adult siblings] This batch of masa is done and so are you two.
- Arturo: Feliz Navidad, hijos.
- Ronnie Anne: This is the best Christmas ever.
- [A knock is heard at the door]
- Rosa: I got it! [opens the door, revealing the Louds]
- Lincoln: Hola, Mrs. Casagrande. We came to pick up Lori at college, but Vanzilla broke down. Would it be all right if we hung out with you this Christmas? [makes a big grin at her and his family does the same]
- Rosa: We’re going to need more masa!
- Everybody: [Nose Gose] Dibs not!
- Arturo: [accidentally the last] Dibs not! Chihuahua.
An Udder Mess (7.1)
Teacher's Fret (7.2)
I, Breakfast Bot (8.1)
- Rosa: Niños, I need help with the chores while I battle the Flores’ toilet. Ronaldo, check the menudo. Sergio, Carl, wash the dishes. CJ, mi vida, fold the clothes in the dryer.
- Ronnie Anne: But Abuela, the season premiere of "Popular Pranks!" is about to start.
- Rosa: You can watch your shows later. Chores first. [The kids groan in disappointment] And clean up this mess, too.
- Sergio: Yeah, get to it, kids.
- [Rosa grabs Sergio with her plunger, giving him a dirty look, looks at her niños as they start to clean up]
- Sid: Anything I can do to help?
- Ronnie Anne: Not unless you can teach Breakfast Bot how to make menudo.
- Sid: I can probably make that happen.
Dynamic Do Over (8.2)
- [Casagrande apartments; Carl rips off an El Falcón poster from his wall]
- Frida: Mi pollito, don’t throw that away!
- Carl: [crumples up the poster and throws it in the sack, filled with his El Falcón merchandise] What’s the point? El Falcón’s not real. [jumps off of his bed and picks the model piece figure] I’ve been looking up to a fake this whole time!
- Carlos: Not the 10,000-piece El Falcón model! That took us six months to build!
- Carl: Six months down the drain! [dumps the model in the sack as it breaks apart] My childhood may as well be over!
Home Improvement (9.1)
Undivided Attention (9.2)
Karate Chops (10.1)
Taco the Town (10.2)
Saving Face (11.1)
Matters of the Kart (11.2)
- Carl: [looks around and comes out from under the table cover] A-are they gone? [sees his family and Irving all staring at him, enraged] I mean, I’m so glad you’re all okay. Why didn’t you come under the table like I told you to?
- Irving: You pushed us out of the way to save yourself. [sighs] I thought you were better than that.
- Carl: [guilty] I’m so sorry, Irving. I’m not the deserving young person you think I am. I pretended to be someone I’m not, so you’d give me the go-kart. I even hired those birds to attack you back at the park.
- Rosa: [sharped] Carl, I knew you were tricking this nice man out his tiny car.
Chancla Force (12.1)
- [Casagrande apartment; Carl, CJ, and Hector sit at the table waiting for Rosa with dinner]
- Rosa: Dinner time! [enters with a pot full of asparagus]
- Hector: [holds out his plate as his wife dips asparagus; looks around, confused] Where is everybody?
- Rosa: I told you, viejo, [takes out her phone showing a photo of Frida and Carlos at Burning Flan] Frida and Carlos went to that big art and music festival, Burning Flan. [swipes to another photo of Ronnie Anne, holding up a thumbs up, and Bobby hanging out with their father] And Ronnie Anne and Bobby are at Arturo’s for the weekend.
- Hector: Oh. Dibs on their dinner! [scoops more asparagus on his plate and devours them]
- Rosa: Carl, CJ, don’t forget your espárragos. [dips asparagus on their plates]
- [CJ tries to hold his barf in]
- Carl: [disgusted] Oh, yuck-o!
- Rosa: Carl, you need your vegetables.
- Carl: Okay, Abuela, I’ll eat ‘em. [shouting] Release the chocolate sauce and sprinkles!
- [Sergio flies in, wearing a helmet and holding the sprinkles and chocolate sauce, aiming for the asparagus]
- Rosa: Release the chancla! [takes off her chancla and throws it at the chocolate sauce and sprinkles, reversing the hit, aiming them at and hitting Sergio]
Fluff Love (12.2)
- [Lalo bursts into the apartment warning the family about Carlitos’ escape]
- Frida: Shh! Lalo, Carlitos is sleeping.
- Carlos: I think Lalo wants us to take him for a walk.
- Frida, Carl, & CJ: Not it!
- Carlos: Not it! [groans] Why am I always it? Don’t play without me!
- [Lalo walks up with the ripped-up teddy bear Carlitos used as a disguise]
- Carlos: Lalo, did you do this?! Bad dog!
Battle of the Grandpas (13.1)
Zoo-mergency! (Episode 14)
- Breakfast Bot: "That was not a sufficient break. [hears Adelaide and the marmosets whistling from an underground tunnel] Do I hear whistling?
- [Cut to Adelaide and the marmosets whistling while tunneling during their escape plan, but only to be blocked by a Gala sign post...]
- Adelaide: Well, I don't think I can fit past this, but you guys should be able to. Go on ahead.