Chief wiggum
From Wikiquote
Put the law in the hands of Police Chief Clancy Wiggum and hilarious consequences are bound to ensure. Catching criminals? Come on, how much can you expect from one of Springfield's three police officers?
[edit] Quotations
- Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.
- This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.
- Well let me ask you this: shut up.
- Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?
- Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he's all right.
- Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys. Lou: What was that, chief? Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid says.
- Chief Wiggum: Do it for this adorable little puppy. Look at the puppy, Marge.
Marge: That's your hat. Lou: She's good, chief.
- Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!
- Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.
- How do you like that, it's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purpose of gambling.
- All right. Come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says Capricorn, and something with coconut on it!
- They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.
- She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it!
- All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.
- Oh, man, what a day. It's no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls ... two, I suppose.
- I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
- Well, well, well... Velocity Boy! (After catching Homer, dressed as Krusty, speeding)
- Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around!
- Thank god that bomb landed in that smoking crater.
- Marge: [on radio] Husband on murderous rampage. Send help. Over.
Chief Wiggum: Whew, thank God that's over. I was worried for a little bit.
- I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
- Where's your Messiah now Flanders?
- I rather let a thousand guilty men get away than chase after them.
