Family Guy/Season 21
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Family Guy is an animated television series created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999. The show was canceled in 2002, but after a positive response to DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, productions of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.
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Oscars Guy
[edit]- Chris: [discussing wanting to enter America's Funniest Home Videos] I want to spend $2,000 flying to Los Angeles to win $1,000.
- Peter: You know when I agreed to this, I 100% thought it was American Pie. Always read the second word of the title before you sign something.
Bend or Blockbuster
[edit]- Meg: [texting] Hey, guys. Home with groceries. It could use hand unloading. And send. [sends text] Now, I wait for them to come out and help their dear old mom.
A Wife-Changing Experience
[edit]- [Joe finds Lois naked and screams]
- Joe: Oh, no.
The Munchurian Candidate
[edit]- [Peter and Lois are dining at His and Her's Restaurant]
- Lois: Ah, look at this, Peter. A new restaurant in town. What a lightning bolt to the balls for a couple of schmos like us, huh?
- [Lois looks at the pictures of Susie Swanson on Bonnie's Facebook page]
- Lois: Ugh, look at that thing's eyes! You know, maybe one glass a night wasn't fine.
Unzipped Code
[edit]- [Jerome has broken his leg and is in a wheelchair]
- Cleveland: Whoa, Jerome. What's with the wheelchair?
- Jerome: Well, it was date night with my ladyfriend. Put on some Teddy Pendergrass. One thing led to another. We started making love halfway up the stairs. Then, I lost my footing and tumbles down half a flight!
- Quagmire: [appalled] Well! This is hardly a dinner conversation!
- Joe: I bet you're gonna discover some cool new things you couldn't do while walking.
- Jerome: Like what?
- Joe: Well, have you yelled at someone for using the handicapped stall yet?
Happy Holo-ween
[edit]- Peter: Thanks to the vaccines, we can all get back to doing the things we hate.
- [Peter sees Roberta dressed as Harley Quinn]
- Peter: Whoa!
- Cleveland: Careful.
The Stewaway
[edit]- [Peter and Lois are packing the car while Chris is eating some chocolate. He throws the wrapper upon finishing.]
- Lois: Chris? What - oh, who cares? We're in Vermont till Sunday. Call if you have to but, like, let's not call.
- Chris: Can we only brush our teeth for 60 seconds instead of the full 90?
- Peter: You brush your teeth? Nerd.
Get Stewie
[edit]- Stewie:The Maryonettes are still attacking me. All my accounts are being flooded, they doxxed my favorite Froyo place, and someone even made a deep fake of me at the Capitol riots.
- [shows image of Richard Barnett with Stewie's head in the Capitol]
- Stewie: I was there, but I never went inside the building, man!
Carny Knowledge
[edit]- Tom Tucker: Okay, final question. Team 3. Who is your child's favorite singer?
- Peter: [puts his board up to show the crowd] The Price is Right Yodeler.
- Chris: What? No. I said Adele. [puts his board up]
- Peter: Judges?
- [the crowd laughs after the buzzer goes off]
- Lois: Oh, this is more humiliating than my first day working at that Rice Pilaf Company.
- [cut to a Cutaway Gag of Lois' first day at the Rice Pilaf Company]
- Lois: I think we could start putting pilaf in other things.
- Boss: Lois, can I see you in my office for a second?
- [we cut to the kitchen where Lois is sobbing at the table while the rest of the family are eating]
- Peter: I told you not to rock the boat over there.
The Candidate
[edit]- Cleveland: Peter, where are we going?
- Peter: [offscreen] Relax, it's our nation's capital. I'm just a fan of history!
- Cleveland: Uh, Peter, what are you up to?
- [The camera zooms out to reveal Peter dressed as the QAnon Shaman]
- Peter: What? I just love our government! Or at least I used to!
- Stewie: Vinny, say hello to the new snack captain!
- Vinny: You actually won? Wow! Congrats, Stewie! I thought you being a mistake ruined your chances. How'd you pull it off?
- Stewie: It turns out 70% of the kids' parents aren't married and 30% are mistakes. Nobody gets married anymore. One kid doesn't even have parents. He just kind of appeared. Sleeps in one of the cubbies. I mean, that's the story I would've told this week, but whatever. Oh, and Doug died in a commuter plane crash this morning.
Love Story Guy
[edit]Old West
[edit]- Allen: And I think margs are gonna be on you after this adventure, huh?
- Old West: I don't drink that shit.
- Allen: Okay, we'll figure something out.
Single White Dad
[edit]- [Meg is in the middle of an elaborate domino arrangement in the living room with Gene, but is set off early when Peter bumps into the table setting up]
- Meg: Crap! Gene, they're coming! They're coming fast, Gene! Starting recording, Gene! GENE!!
- [Peter introduces Chris to Donkey Kong]
- Chris: This game SUCKS!!
- Peter: What are you talkin' about?
- Chris: Uh, what universe does this even take place in? EVERYTHING needs to take place in a universe!
- Peter: It's a warehouse with ladders where a monkey took a girl.
- Chris: What about the microtransactions that slowly bankrupt our family? Or the children slinging racist taunts into your earpiece?
- Peter: It has two buttons and I have to look down when I press 'em.
- Chris: Donkey Kong sucks! I could build the same game on our house.
- [This gives Peter an idea]
- Peter: Donkey Kong house?
- [scene transitions to Peter setting up a real Donkey Kong stage in front of the house]
- Peter: Sorry I put you in a dress, Stewie. We needed a damsel.
- Stewie: Hey, do I look upset?
White Meg Can't Jump
[edit]- Ugly Girl: May I join the losers club?
- Chris: [sigh] I don't care what yearbook captions you saw. We are not yet an organized club.
- Pizza Bread: The deed to the house is in the drawer, under the phone!
Adoptation
[edit]- Chris : Keep my name out your fucking mouth!
- Peter: Wow, dude. It was a zoo joke.
- Chris: KEEP MY NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!
- Bob Belcher: Homer, you've got company.
- Homer: D’oh.
- Bob Belcher: Yes, I won’t.
- Peter: [to Bob Belcher] Oh, Thanks.
- Homer: [to Peter] Well, I don’t know.
- Carter: [off-screen] Listen up! Everyone in the van! We're taking Tatum to the zoo!
- Lois: [angry] The zoo?
- Peter: [enters] The zoo? Why are we returning Chris? Hey, Mike, you hear?
The Bird Reich
[edit]- Preston: Peter, what are you doing up there?
- Peter: Preston, I'm glad you're here. I'm about to test the prototype for "desk-poline".
- [Peter jumps off a stack of cabinets and crashes on top of his desk. Peter grabs out a pad and pen and starts writing]
- Peter: Desk will need to be bouncy.
A Bottle Episode
[edit][Lois enters the kitchen with an iPad]
Lois: We got the house, guys!
Stewie: Your iPad flashlight is on. God, she's old.
Announcer: [the Airbnb logo appears; as Lois enters the car and leaves Dottie's house] Airbnb. What are you doing? This is your house!
Vat Man and Rob 'Em
[edit]From Russia with Love (Part 1)
[edit]- Brian: I-I may have sent some weird DMs to Zendaya that I'd rather not see the light of day.
- Stewie: Euphoria Zendaya or Disney Zendaya?
- Brian: Yeah, a little from column A, a little from column B.
