Family Guy/Season 18

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Family Guy is an animated television series created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999. The show was cancelled in 2002, but after extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, production of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.

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Yacht Rocky[edit]

Peter: What's the big emergency? Why did everyone have to come in on Monday?

Bert: The internet pretty much only lets us fire white males, so if you're not a white male, you're safe.
Peter: So is Derek Jeter safe?
[Umpire enters]
Umpire: Safe! He's half black!

Bert: Hey, there PG. Been a minute.
Peter: Hey, Ernie. Uh, I mea-I mean, Cookie Mons-I mean Bert! Bert, sorry.

Lois: I gotta say, Peter. I had reservations about this cruise, but you do seem more relaxed.
Peter: Hey, good thing I had reservations on this cruise, huh?

Bri-Da[edit]

Absolutely Babulous[edit]

Lois: Go Stewie! Ha! Isn't this exciting?
Peter: Yeah, but I don't like little Kyle Kaepernick kneeling during the national anthem.
[Kyle Kaepernick kneels during the national anthem]
Peter: Boo! Get on your feet!
[Kyle Kaepernick stands up]
Peter: Boo! Down in front!

Brian: It's a meaningless event. Like a bar mitzvah.
[cutaway to a boy's bar mitzvah]
Rabbi: Today, you are a man.
Boy: Great! Can I drive?
Rabbi: No.
Boy: Can I vote?
Rabbi: No.
Boy: Can I drink?
Rabbi: No.
Boy: Can I have sex?
Rabbi: No.
Boy: Can I cash the checks?
Rabbi: Yes!

Peter: Do you have oysters?
Waiter: We do not.
Peter: Ah, shucks.

[Stewie wears a medal he won in a race]
Stewie: Hey, Brian, you don't have a medal detector on you, do you?

Peter: Okay, when I read your name, please respond with a "here". Griffin, Mac.
Meg: It's Meg.
Peter: Sorry, it looks like Mac. Griffin, Liam.
Lois: It's Lois.
Peter: Again, please respond with "here".

Disney's The Reboot[edit]

Peter: That woman looks exactly like me.
Lois: That's your reflection, Peter.
Peter: Oh ... I'm beautiful.

Von Jiner: As you may or may not care, Family Guy is in its 17th season, and since FOX is now owned by Disney, which will someday be owned by Netflix, which will someday be owned by Pornhub, we have decided that Family Guy is ready for a reboot.

Cat Fight[edit]

Peter & Lois' Wedding[edit]

Peter: This is the story of the greatest trilogy ever told … The Mighty Ducks. It was a time of great nonsense,...
Meg: Dad, why don't you tell us how you and mom fell in love and got married?
Chris: And in go the earbuds.

Quagmire: I got a promotion at Blockbuster!
[everyone claps like in the theme song of Friends]
Peter: Gleonard Quagmire, that is fantastic news.
Quagmire: I know, right? You know how I always felt like I was stuck in second gear? Well, this is a new gear!

[Peter rants about the "fountain dancing" in the theme song of Friends]
Peter: It was senseless. We were in our clothes for God's sake. Everyone got wet. It was cold. You know, there were originally nine friends, but three of them died of pneumonia. I'm still haunted by Chad's shivering last words, "Don't let Monica get Botox."

Heart Burn[edit]

External links[edit]

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