SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12
- Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Main
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.
- Aliens: Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Yee-haw!
- Old Man Jenkins: Y'all come back and invade any time.
- SpongeBob: Annihilate safely.
Gary & Spot (1.2)
The Nitwitting (2.1)
- Patrick: Okay, thanks, buddy. I'm going to my club meeting now.
- SpongeBob: What's your club, hmm?
- Patrick: Uh, it's the Empty Head Society. It's a place where guys like me can give their [reading off a card] "powerful intellects" a much-needed rest.
The Ballad of Filthy Muck (2.2)
- Old Man Jenkins: Boo! I can't smell, but you two stink!
The Krusty Slammer (3.1)
- Mr. Krabs: Vandalism is a crime too, you’ve been caught red handed
Pineapple RV (3.2)
- Squidward: SpongeBob, why is your house... [yelling] Driving on the road!
- Patrick: Because we turned it into a RV.
- SpongeBob: We don't want you to miss that flower blooming.
Gary's Got Legs (4.1)
King Plankton (4.2)
Plankton's Old Chum (5.1)
Stormy Weather (5.2)
Swamp Mates (6.1)
- Bubble Bass: [walks up the stairs and hears knocking, then opening the door to reveal Patrick at the entrance] Huh?!
- Patrick: Hey buddy! Ready for our playdate?! [squeezes Bubble Bass into a tight hug]
- Bubble Bass: [slaps Patrick and picks him up to scold him] I will not associate with such a dimwitted doofus.
- Patrick: [flattered] Aw, you're just saying that!
One Trick Sponge (6.2)
The Krusty Bucket (7.1)
Squid's on a Bus (7.2)
Sandy's Nutty Nieces (8.1)
- SpongeBob: Story time! (He blows up an inflatable book and begins to read) "Goldyfish and the Three Sea Bears".
- Macadamia: (pops the inflatable book) Don't waste your breath...
- Hazelnut: And don't make a hassle...
- Pistachio: Some kids like to read...
- Macadamia, Hazelnut, and Pistachio: BUT WE'D RATHER WRASSLE!
- Sandy: I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.
- SpongeBob: What's that?
- Sandy: Don't babysit my nieces!
Insecurity Guards (8.2)
Broken Alarm (9.1)
Karen's Baby (9.2)
Shell Games (10.1)
- Patrick: Hi, rock. I'm trying to enjoy a snack.
- Tony: Hey, the name is Tony, not rock. And I think it's time for you to vamoose.
- Patrick: Huh? What's a vanmoose? [Patrick imagines a moose of a van.]
- Tony: [chuckles] You're a few pickles short of a jar, ain't ya, kid? I'll make it simple. [knocks on his shell] This is my shell. I live here, you don't, so beat it!
- Patrick: Oh no! You can't fool me! This is my rock, and I'm not leaving! [pulls out glue and glues himself on Tony's shell. Tony tries to get Patrick off of him, but gives up.]
- Tony: Alright, you daba dose. Stay up there if you want. I've got places to be.
Senior Discount (10.2)
- Mr. Krabs: And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. [Old Man Jenkins bangs on the radio to turn it on and sips on his "condiment soup"] And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response...
- Frankie Billy: Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?
- Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! [hits Frankie Billy on the head]
- Frankie Billy: Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! [runs off crying]
Mind the Gap (11.1)
- SpongeBob: [cool voice] Hey, cool crowd. What's shaking? Oh, yeah. [enters the lounge] Hey, hipsters. It's groovy, cats. Oh, I can dig it. [One patron squeals happily and melts. SpongeBob slides across the floor just as the lounge's Maître D' shows up.]
- Maître D': Oh, welcome, man. You're the coolest customer we've ever had.
- SpongeBob: [cool voice] Oh, crazy, Daddy. Crazy. [pinches his cheek]
- Maître D': Can I seat you at the coolest table? [points to the coolest table with all the cool people in it]
- SpongeBob: [cool voice] No, thank you. I'm here to meet up with a real cool cat. Oh, there he his. Hey, Squideroonie!
- [Squidward struggles to get his foot out of the chair, but falls over.]
- Maître D': [deeply shocked] You're with him?
- Squidward: [crawls over to SpongeBob] Yes, you're with me. And he is my— best... [twitches his eye and struggles to say "friend"] friend...
- SpongeBob: [cool voice] You heard the man, folks. He's my best friend. Can you dig it? [snaps his fingers]
- Maître D': [confused] Huh? [Everyone snaps their fingers.]
Dirty Bubble Returns (11.2)
- '[The Dirty Bubble goes to the Goo Lagoon]
- Dirty Bubble: I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt! [laughs evilly]
- SpongeBob: Not Goo Lagoon! [The Dirty Bubble sucks up Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob grabs out paper and pencil to write quickly his last words] Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick! [Sobs as the dirt level increasingly gets higher and higher. Starts absorbing all the dirt.] Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am. [proceeds to spin around inside like clothes in a side-loader washing machine]
- Dirty Bubble: Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge! [slowly shrinks, stammering] Stop that rhyme! [screams as he is absorbed by SpongeBob] [SpongeBob falls into Goo Lagoon's seabed. Burps out an shrunken version of the Dirty Bubble.] [high pitched] I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt! [evil laughs]
- SpongeBob: Aww, little mini DB is so cute! [Dirty Bubble spits dirt onto SpongeBob's eyelid. Officer Johnson catches Dirty Bubble and puts him into a jar held by lady officer]
- Lady officer: We got him!
- SpongeBob: Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you.
- Dirty Bubble: Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! [complaining noises]
- Lady officer: Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.
- SpongeBob: [Pretends to be the Dirty Bubble] It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. [evil laugh] [Police officers gasp] Just kidding! [laughs] [Police officers laugh with him. SpongeBob suddenly feels the urge to sneeze, splattering goo all over the place.]
- Police officers: [angrily] Gesundheit.
- SpongeBob: Thank you! [looks at lady officer] You got some schmutz under there. [Wipes off goo from her face. Grabs out a tissue and laughs.]
Jolly Lodgers (12.1)
- Squidward: Well, now this is very nice indeed [begins the relax on his bed until he melts on the bed to the bathroom tub] Mmm... This is Heaven. [All of a sudden, SpongeBob enters Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? [peeks out] Anyone there? Hello? [Squidward shrugs it off and continues relaxing. He then drowns into the tub. Suddenly, Patrick comes from the other side to enter Squidward's room, starts laughing, and exits out.] Hello? Did someone just come in? [Both SpongeBob and Patrick enter Squidward's room until they bump into each other.]
- SpongeBob: Don't you just love playing Hotel: Slam and Run?
- Patrick: I enjoy it an... [puts his tooth back into his mouth] ...intellectual challenge. [SpongeBob and Patrick stands up, starts laughing, and both run out of Squidward's room. Squidward peeks from the bathroom with a robe on and a towel on his head.]
- Squidward: Alright, I know I heard something in here! Ohh... [rubs his eyes.] Maybe I'm just not relaxed enough.
Biddy Sitting (12.2)
SpongeBob's Big Birthday Blowout (Episodes 13–14)
- [The episode starts with Patchy the Pirate struggling to start his boat on someone's driveway.]
- Patchy: Oh, hi, kids! Patchy Pirate here on a glorious day. I'm going to deliver this here very special present to SpongeBob on his birthday. That is, if I can get this blasted boat to start. [turns the ignition with his key] And start! [chuckles]
- [Patchy's boat wouldn't start and Potty comes out of the trunk.]
- Potty: Maybe if you remembered to fill the tank with gas...
- Patchy: Oh, Potty, you're full of gas! Get outta here!
- Potty: [flies onto the hood] I see the problem! [bangs on the hood with the hammer]
- [The hood sent Patchy flying backwards and smashing into the garage door via airbag.]
- Patchy: [groaning] Walking is better than driving anyway. I've been meaning to work on me land legs. [pulls up his pants and reveals his wavy legs]
- Potty: Squawk, squawk!
- Patchy: [takes the present from the trunk and happily laughs] Now to see which way the wind is blowing. [sticks his finger in his mouth, holds out his hand with a sail on it and the with blows the other direction] This way! [the wind blows Patchy down the street] Whoa!
- Potty: [follows Patchy while squawking] Hard to port!
- [Meanwhile, at the brink of dawn, SpongeBob is sleeping in his bed. Gary is holding a birthday present for SpongeBob while sleeping. Moments later, the alarm clock goes off.]
- SpongeBob's alarm clock: Wake up!
- Gary: [meows "Happy Birthday"]
- SpongeBob: What? Today? My birthday? Oh, Gary, you know I never pay attention to those sorts of things.
- [SpongeBob hops out of his bed and streamers and confetti fly out. He blows the noise maker a couple times and laughs. He opens Gary's present, which reveals to be a jellyfish net made out of slime.]
- SpongeBob: [gasps] Oh, wow, Gary! Did you make me this jellyfishing net yourself?
- Gary: [gives SpongeBob a thumb's up with his slime] Meow!
- [SpongeBob swings the slime jellyfish net around, but splashes slime all over his bedroom. Some slime flew out his window and landed in Squidward's coffee as he's getting the newspaper. Squidward sips some of his coffee, unaware of the slime being in it. SpongeBob swings the net until it is gone.]
- SpongeBob: Best present ever! [hugs Gary and laughs]
SpongeBob in RandomLand (15.1)
SpongeBob's Bad Habit (15.2)
- [customers in the Krusty Krab are eating slowly, and making noises while doing so, which gets Squidward more and more angry with each noise. A customer burps which pushes Squidward to his breaking point]
- Squidward: AAAH! ANOTHER ROTTEN DAY AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!
Boss for a Day (17.1)
The Goofy Newbie (17.2)
- Goofy Goober manager: I think you better go home and clean up.
- Patrick: [whinny] But I haven't had my first ice cream break!
- Goofy Goober manager: I'll give you another chance tomorrow. If it doesn't work out, I'm afraid you're fired... [clears throat] in a most appreciative way.
The Ghost of Plankton (18.1)
My Two Krabses (18.2)
Knock Knock, Who's There? (19.1)
Pat Hearts Squid (19.2)
- Squidward: I said, BE QUIET OR I'M CALLING THE-- Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! [Squidward's house falls and crumbles to bits]
Lighthouse Louie (20.1)
- Bubble Bass: EVERYBODY PANIC!!
Hiccup Plague (20.2)
A Cabin in the Kelp (21.1)
- Sandy: Gal Pals, we have to save SpongeBob!
- Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: [whimpering] Gal Pals. [The girls break through the front door to rescue SpongeBob. But, to their relief and surprise, the old lady turns out to be a sales lady giving SpongeBob pinecones on a stick.]
- SpongeBob: Wow! [the old lady gives SpongeBob a pinecone on a stick] Ooh, another pinecone on a stick! I love it. [takes it and gets another one from the old lady] Wow! [takes another pinecone on a stick] I'm gonna get one of these for each of the Gal Pals.
- Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: [confused] Huh?
- Sandy: [laughs in relief] It's only a cabin-to-cabin country sales lady. Not Flibberty Gibbet at all.
- Flibberty Gibbet: [off-screen] Did someone say my name? [the girls turn and see her for real this time] Hi, gals!
- Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Flibberty Gibbet! [scream in horror as they run out of the cabin and into the woods]
- Flibberty Gibbet: I—I just wanted to say all's forgiven!
- SpongeBob: [follows the girls] Hey, wait! You'll need my lucky peanut!
- Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Gal Pals! [crash onto the screen] [The words "The End" is shown and the episode ends.]
The Hankering (21.2)
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, the Chum Bucket's the only place in town still selling chum, but I can't go crawling to Plankton for help. No, I won't. I got too much pride for that. [cuts to Mr. Krabs invading Plankton's trash can, looking for some chum] Oh, come on, there's gotta be some chum in here somewhere!
- Karen: [comes out with a flashlight] Hello? [Mr. Krabs hides behind the trash can] Who's out there?
- Plankton: [comes out with a bat] All right, miscreant, come over here where I can destroy you! [swings the bat around, but gets crushed by it]
- [Mr. Krabs attempts to escape, but Karen catches him.]
- Karen & Plankton: Krabs??
- Plankton: What are you doing here? [crawls out from under his bat]
- Mr. Krabs: Nothing, nothing! I, uh, [takes the shoe out of his mouth] lost my shoe! See? Found it. [laughs] Okay, bye. [his stomach growls loudly]
- Plankton: [suspiciously] Hold it. What's going on with you, Krabs? Your clothes are a mess and your stomach's making strange noises.
- Mr. Krabs: [wears the shoe] What are you talking—I'm... [stammers until he gives in] Oh, fine! [throws away the shoe] I'm hooked on chum, okay?!
- Plankton: Say what?! [his skeleton falls out in shock]
- Mr. Krabs: Look at me now! Digging through garbage for scraps! [sobs uncontrollably]
Who R Zoo? (22.1)
- Patrick: Oh, that's it now. Let it all out.
- SpongeBob: [sobs] I-I just want to pet the critters. Does that make me an animal? [continues to cry]
- Patrick: That mean old zookeeper! [scratches his back] He even looks like a monkey and he smells like one too! [scoffs] You should just make your own zoo.