SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6
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SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.
House Fancy (1.1)
- Patrick: Who's Nick? Sorry, Squidward. I couldn't wait any longer, I've gotta use your toilet. No questions! Thanks [Enters the bathroom he groans and flushes the bathroom] [after using Squidward's toilet] Uff! I wouldn't go in there for a couple days... or weeks.
- Squidward: All right, first, I'm going to give you something so simple, a person without a brain could even get it done right.
- SpongeBob: Phew, that's good, 'cause I lent my brain to Patrick for the weekend.
- Squidward: Really?
- SpongeBob: No, not really... He traded me these two chocolate bars for it.
- Squidward: I don't care! Just use this paint to cover up that faded spot on the wall right there. Don't touch anything else!
Krabby Road (1.2)
- Patrick: All right, I play a mean belly (plays the belly as a drum to a tune called William Tell Overture and stops)
- SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton, can our first song go like this? [makes a loud bass sound] And then turn into one of those songs that goes… [makes a high pitched screech]
- SpongeBob: (After spotting Plankton stealing the secret formula) Wait a minute… was this band just a front so you could steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?
- Plankton: What? No, I was in it for the music, man!
Penny Foolish (2.1)
- Mr. Krabs: Hello, and welcome to a very important evening. Tonight's event is entitled: Pennies, for the penny-less. And before the following images are shown, I would ask each of you to look not look with your eyes, but with your heart. [Mr. Krabs shows some images] 3 dimes ($0.30), 2 nickels ($0.20), 1 quarter ($0.25), 0 pennies. And since I realize the images seen here tonight may be wretchedly hideous, I am going to tell you what you can do to end this travesty. You can donate one penny to me: Mr. Krabs. Also known as: Mr. Krabs, the man who doesn't have one. [Mr. Krabs starts crying and SpongeBob is crying too]
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I just wanted that penny you found on the street yesterday. Oh, I'm sorry.
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, that wasn't a penny. [laughs]
- Mr. Krabs: It wasn't?
- SpongeBob: No, that was just a dried up piece of gum for my collection. I think it's peppermint.
- Mr. Krabs: Ah ha ha ha ha hooooooooo hoo. I feel so relieved. There was no penny after all! Well, I'll be going now, You can keep the metal detector, SpongeBob. See ya!
- SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Hear, Gary. You can play with it. [Gary sniffs it, then blows raspberry at it, then walks away, the gum then absorbs it] Hey, this isn't gum (or a penny) at all. [pulls it out, revealing that it is a $500 bill] It's just a dumb old $500 bill. This won't go with my chewed up gum collection. Ah well, good night, Gary.
- Mr Krabs: (digging some holes) Penny, must have buried it around here somewhere. I'll just have to keep digging.
Nautical Novice (2.2)
- SpongeBob: I assure you, I am well rested and ready to learn. Who knows, Mrs. Puff? Before the day is out you may have learned something yourself. [Mrs. Puff smells SpongeBob's odor and sprays "Shower in a Can" on him and he smells better] Hey, Mrs. Puff?
- Mrs. Puff: Yes, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: I made this for you.
- Mrs. Puff: Made what?
- SpongeBob: [holds out a model of a tiny boat] This, the H.M.S. Pinafore, at 1 to 8,427 scale of course.
- Mrs. Puff: Good thing you studied.
- Plankton: Welcome one and all, to the first biannual big arena of annihilation! [everyone cheers]
- Patrick: All right! [Patrick is about to eat a sausage, when the lionfish growls at him, Plankton laughs]
- Plankton: That pink dimwit doesn't stand a chance with those sausages around his throat! As soon as the smell of sausage hits that ravenous lionfish's nostrils, he'll be all over Patrick like mold on a shower curtain!
- Betsy Krabs: Boring! [throws a tomato at the ground] I want to see some body parts!
- Plankton: This is ridiculous! I order a simple brutal mauling for my denizens, and I get a circus act!
- Sadie: Ten dollars?! Why would I pay ten dollars, when I can go across the street and get a Krabby Patty for one dollar?
- Plankton: Now, I've been waiting for 20 years to have the amount of customers Krabs sees everyday! And I won't let that be ruined because the show's "boring," or the food's "inedible."
- Mr. Krabs: Ahem, perhaps you'd like to speak to our financial expert. ["financial expert" is the lionfish that was chasing Plankton, Scooter is scared, and gives Mr. Krabs $10]
- Scooter: [muttering] Stupid inflation.
- Mr. Krabs: Thanks for your business. [everyone laughs, they then stop and walk away, the lion then growls, and the episode ends]
Suction Cup Symphony (3.2)
- Squidward: (looking at his essay with a triumphant but sleepless face) I've done it, I've finally finished it (kisses the essay and laughs) I did it, I did it! (runs out of his house in an ecstatic delirium)
- Squidward: Patrick, what are you doing here?
- Patrick: I don't know. (He smiles wanly) I'm funny.
Fish: (seeing an anchor dropped onto Patrick's leg) That's gonna leave a mark.
Not Normal (4.1)
- Customer 1: Ugh. That ain't right. I will never spend money here again!
- Mr. Krabs: Never?
- Customer 2: Come on, guys. These patties ain't worth the paper they're printed on!
- Patrick: SpongeBob, the weird therapy is working. Your craters are coming back. We just have to keep pushing the boundaries. We've gotta get stranger. [Cuts to Jellyfish Fields where SpongeBob is riding on Patrick's back like a horse and catches a jellyfish in the net. Another crater comes back. Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick licking the sand and as SpongeBob is licking, his nose grows back to normal size. Cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob standing on their hands] Talk backwards.
- SpongeBob: ?taP ,erus uoy erA (Are you sure, Pat?) [SpongeBob's legs and arms are back to normal. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick eating secret Krabby Sauce with their feet. SpongeBob's teeth appear. But then something is happening to SpongeBob]
- Patrick: The final transformation. [SpongeBob transforms back into his normal state for an unknown reason]
- SpongeBob: Huh?
- Patrick: What happened?
- SpongeBob: I don't know. I guess I became permanently normal.
- Patrick: [horrified and devastated] NOOOOOOO! [hugs SpongeBob and they both burst into tears]
- SpongeBob: I don't wanna be normal! [knock on door]
- Patrick: Go away!
- SpongeBob: Normal is not worth it!
- Patrick: We're in mourning! [Patrick sobs in despair]
- Squidward: [Patrick's rock begins to open] It's me, Squidward. I'm looking for SpongeBob. [Squidward is in a normal state] Hi, how are ya? [SpongeBob is so scared and shocked at how Squidward looks that he screams himself back into his regular self]
- Patrick: SpongeBob, you're back to your square shape.
- SpongeBob: Wow, I guess Squidward's normal looks scared me back to my original form. Thanks, buddy, you saved my life.
- Normal Squidward: Wonderful weather we're having, hm?
- SpongeBob: It sure is, buddy. It sure is. [he and Patrick laugh whilst the episode ends]
- Patrick: Yeah. Everyone needs at least one day away from... (laughs like SpongeBob imitating his face)
The Splinter (5.1)
- Squidward: [same tone] The spatula... TIED TO YOUR NOSE!!
- SpongeBob: Ohhh, this! [explains quickly] Well, you see, this got stuck up there so I stacked stuff and I climbed up to reach it. I reached it and grabbed it. I got it but then I fell and I screamed! I was sure I was dead but then I wasn't but then I tripped and I got this splinter and...Squidward? Squidward, were you listening at all? I got this really bad splinter, you see? And I couldn't hold the spatula with my hand so I used my nose. Makes sense now, huh?
- Squidward: [sarcastic] Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a half-wit who injured himself at work being a nitwit.
- SpongeBob: [laughs] Good one, Squiddy.
- Squidward: [grumbles] Injury. Your brain is injured! [gets an idea] Wait a minute. Did you say that you got that splinter injury at work?
Slide Whistle Stooges (5.2)
- SpongeBob: You see, Squidward! Slide whistling can add a little zest to the humdrum of everyday life.
- Squidward: I don't need zest! I need you out of my lampshade! [Squidward jumps onto the table to get them out, but they're not there. SpongeBob appears with the slide whistle effect behind a plant] Get out of there! [SpongeBob floats through the air with the slide whistle noise and out the door. SpongeBob and Patrick are spinning around the circular windows] Just get out of there! [They land onto his paintings and become the shape of his head(s)] Okay, that's enough! You've had your fun.
- SpongeBob: Wow Squidward, listen to you! You're getting better already! Here we'll help. [he and Patrick raise their slide whistles... they go around the hospital playing the slide whistle to CPR, a guy on a ventilator, and Gill Gilliam stitching Nat up]
A Life in a Day (6.1)
- Patrick: LIVING LIKE LARRY!!!
- Patrick: [sprays dirt with a water hose then dips SpongeBob who is sun bleached and horribly dry, into a puddle of mud, wipes the mud away from his eyes, puts two slabs of jerky for SpongeBob's buck teeth, then rips out his own armpit hair] AAHHHH!! AAH-AHH-AAAHH!! [instantly turns calm, then places the armpit hair onto SpongeBob's head, then gives SpongeBob a mirror] See?
- SpongeBob: [screams, horrified] I... look... [adoring voice] Amaaaziiing.
- SpongeBob: No, Patrick I... [notices the people staring at him. He laughs nervously, then the caramel cracks, which reveals some light. All gasp, then the caramel breaks]
- Frankie: So, bright!
- Sally: Honey, look away! [Frankie's eyes melt. SpongeBob laughs nervously]
- Fred: Nice Job!
- Harold: [Australian accent] Your hideously white skin just ruined the party. I mean look at you! Do you hug your mother with that skin?
Giant Squidward (7.1)
- [Squidward sprays his kelp garden with "kelp grow" to revive the plants, he then goes to sniff the budding flowers. While doing this, Patrick suddenly appears in the garden with his face right up against Squidward's]
- Patrick: They're preeeeeeettyyy! [Squidward shrieks]
- Squidward: Patrick!
- SpongeBob: And SpongeBob!
- Squidward: What are you two doing here?
- SpongeBob: Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden! [points to Patrick, who takes a large bite out of the kelp, then burps]
- Squidward: [Yells] STOP EATING MY KELP!!! [shoves Patrick and SpongeBob]
- Patrick: Okay, okay, geez! I try to help a fellow out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead!
- Squidward: Oh! Do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick?
- Patrick: Hmmmmmm... yeah.
- Squidward: Then have some more! [sprays the ice cream]
- Patrick: [falls over when the ice cream gets bigger] Whoa! Oof!
- Squidward: Ha, ha, ha! Still want that ice cream?
- Patrick: Boy I do! Thanks, Squidward! Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam!
- Squidward: [bonks SpongeBob on the head] HEY! Look what you did to me! If you don't fix my nose, you'll hear from my lawyer!
- SpongeBob: Are you sure?
- Patrick: Yeah! You'll be ugly again!
- SpongeBob: Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward.
- Patrick: You're a saint, SpongeBob! A SAINT!
- SpongeBob: I know, and it is a burden I must carry.
No Nose Knows (7.2)
- Patrick: (with huge ears) I HEAR THAT!
- Squidward: What are you doing with my cheese?
- Patrick: It's rotten garbage now. [throws it in the garbage, then blasts it with a rocket launcher] That's better.
- Squidward: That was my cheese. It's supposed to smell like that, kelp for brains!
Patty Caper (8.1)
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, isn't... that the stolen secret ingredient?
- Mr. Krabs: Uh, what are you talking about, SpongeBob? I'm not holding any secret ingredient. [holds it out, then hides it]
- Policeman: You might want to stand that you stole the item in question?
- Mr. Krabs: Well, I wouldn't call it stealing.
- Policeman: And you were going to let someone else take the fall for this little caper?
- Mr. Krabs: I can explain!
- Policeman: Please do.
- Mr. Krabs: It's simple, $1.99 is a lot to pay for the secret ingredient every time I get a delivery, so I... s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s... took it... to avoid paying, you know.
- Policeman: I think Judge Trout will be very interested to hear this little story. [handcuffs him]
- Mr. Krabs: What, what'd I do? [cuts to the court house]
- Judge: All rise. Eugene Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs: Your honor...?
- Judge: As punishment for committing the crime of grand theft, I sentence you to give away Krabby Patties for free... all day tommorow.
- Mr. Krabs: Give away me Patties for free? Oh no, I couldn't bear the sight of that. [cuts to next day at the Krusty Krab, and Mr. Krabs is screaming]
- SpongeBob: Step right up, and get your free Krabby Patties! [When SpongeBob gives away free Krabby Patties, the 2 policemen holds Mr. Krabs still while he is crying, then the policemen laugh.]
Plankton's Regular (8.2)
- Mr. Krabs: ♪ Rolling, rolling, rolling! Money keeps on rolling along! ♪ [playing bowling with money] 1 more time! [notices Plankton] No way, Plankton! You're not getting me formula this time or any time! [throws him on the counter, then gets a spoon, and crushes him]
- Plankton: Don't bother. There's no need.
- Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about?
- Plankton: [slides out of the spoon] I'm just saying I no longer need to copy you, Krabs. I've got my own winning recipe now.
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs] You're really funny man! You think you can compete with me? Look Plankton, look at all these loyal customers. Loyal to me, Plankton, not to you!
- Nat: Hey, Plankton, can I get another one of your delicious Chum Sticks?
- Plankton: But of course, loyal customer. [hops out of Mr. Krabs' hands, onto Nat's hand] I'll see you later, loser. Much later! [laughs]
- Plankton: Nat, back all ready? That's the fifth time today. Not that I'm surprised. Karen, babe, fetch Nat another plate of that sweet chum.
- Karen: Yes, Your Diminutiveness. [goes in the kitchen]
- Plankton: Say, Nat, do you have any friends?
- Nat': Nope.
- Plankton: [sings a little, then laughs] Would you hurry up with that chum, Karen?!
- SpongeBob: [imitating Karen] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep your tiny pants on, Plankton. Bleep, bloop. [throws a Krabby Patty] There's your chum, bleep blap blop.
- Nat: Hey, this doesn't look like chum.
- Plankton: And that doesn't look like Karen!
- SpongeBob: [looks like Karen] Why, don't be ridiculous, my husband. Bleep, blap. Of course it's me.
- Plankton: What have you done with Karen, you brute?!
- [Karen is taped up in the kitchen]
- Nat: How many times do I have to tell you? [throws the Krabby Patty away] I don't want to eat your trash! Plankton's chum is my favorite breakfast, lunch, and dinner! I love chum, so forget it! I don't want to eat anything else!
- SpongeBob: [returns to normal, and speaks in normal voice] So you're saying that you love chum? And all that you ever eat is chum?
- Nat: Yeah! Th-that's right!
- SpongeBob: Interesting.
- Karen: Call it a computer's intuition, but I sense your regular approaching, with an unusually large wad of cash.
- Mr. Krabs: Look at all that loot!
- Plankton: That's right, Krabs, and you're going to have to keep looking when my customer comes in and pays me for my chum!
- Mr. Krabs: D'oh, just put me out of me misery!
- [Nat walks in, angered]
- Plankton: Back for more of my delicious chum, I see!
- Nat: Not this time!
- Plankton and Mr. Krabs: Huh?
- Nat: Not ever again! [throws all the money at Karen] The deal's off, computer! I can't eat another bite of that slop, no matter how much you pay me!
- Plankton: Ha-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba… Huh?
- Nat: I have eaten 10 of those things, and I've all ready had to go to the doctor... twice! [groans in pain] If you need me, I'll be getting my stomach pumped... again. [gets carried out]
- Plankton: What's the deal, Karen?
- Karen: "The deal" was that I paid Nat to eat your chum, so you'd quit your constant complaining.
- Plankton: All this time, I never had 1 regular customer?
- Karen: Duh.
- Plankton: Should have known! Why would anyone ever eat my slop?
- Karen: Uhh, there he goes again. Cut it out, Plankton!
- Plankton: What? It's just obvious that I'm a complete failure, and wasted of a lower life form! Oh, woe is me! [cries]
- SpongeBob: Quickly, now is the time to make a hasty retreat!
- Mr. Krabs: What, and miss this? I've never enjoyed me self more! This irony is pretty good stuff. [laughs]
Boating Buddies (9.1)
- SpongeBob: Didn't you used to have one of those cucumber bicycles?
- Squidward: Oh. [laughs] That was a recumbent bicycle, and I sold it.
- SpongeBob: Why?
- Squidward: So, I could get further away from you! [rushes off]
- SpongeBob: Okay, I'll see you later then, Squidward.
The Krabby Kronicle (9.2)
- Gym Teacher: Out, out, out!
- Larry: Hey, what's the big idea?
- Gym Teacher: This! [shows him the newspaper]
- Larry: [reading] "Larry the Loser gets beaten up by (a) pipsqueak"? [stops reading] But, but, but–
- Gym Teacher: No "buts"! I can't have a wimp like you destroying my gym's reputation! You're banned forever! [throws him out, then SpongeBob walks up]
- SpongeBob: Hello, Larry.
- Larry: Not now, SpongeBob. Let me take in the fact that my life is ruined!
- SpongeBob: "Ruined"? What are you talking about?
- Larry: These lies someone wrote about me. [shows him the paper, and SpongeBob gasps]
- [Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab.]
- Mr. Krabs: Thanks for your business, and here's your paper. [hands fish the paper]
- Plankton: Oh, Karen! I think this is it! The Chum Stick that's finally gonna drive Krabs out of business!
- Health Inspector: I think not. I'm Health Inspector Yellowtail. I'm officially closing down your restaurant.
- Plankton: Why? I haven't done anything.
- Health Inspector: That's not what this says. [shows Plankton the paper]
- Plankton: [reading] "Plankton's chum made of your chums! The Chum Bucket serves your friends in more ways than one!"? [stops reading] What?! [the health inspector locks down the Chum Bucket] Who's to blame for this? Who?!
- Sandy: Sorry, fellars, this is a private treedome.
- Dennis: I had no idea it talked. [to Sandy] Don't worry, we're from the Neptunian Science Committee, and we've come to confiscate all your science awards. Haven't you read today's headlines? [holds up newspaper]
- Fish 2: It can't even read. Why are you...?
- Sandy: Oh, give me that! [reading] "Sandy Cheeks or Sandy Chump? Bushy tailed braniac really a slow-witted squirrel, by... SpongeBob SquarePants"? [stops reading] That yellow sidewinder thinks he can do that to me!?
- Dennis: Oh, boy. We better scram! The dumb ones are always the most violent!
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I can't write these stories anymore.
- Mr. Krabs: Come on, that's a bunch of hooey!
- SpongeBob: I've seen people's lives ruined... with my own eyes!
- Mr. Krabs: People want wild juicy stories! That's what sells! Now I want your little yellow noggin, to come up with the wildest story ever! One that'll top all the others!
- SpongeBob: Gee Mr. Krabs, I've written about everybody in town. Any ideas, sir?
- Mr. Krabs: Surprise me! Give me a shocker! [throws him in his chair] Good night, boy. I'll check on you tomorrow morning, and remember, the wildest story ever! (leaves)
- SpongeBob: Oh, "the wildest story ever", huh? [starts writing/typing, then cuts to the next day where the paper's are being printed, and Mr. Krabs runs in]
- Mr. Krabs: How's it going, lad?
- SpongeBob: [turns around, and he is very tired]
- SpongeBob: Ahh-ahh, it's a surprise.
- Mr. Krabs: Excellent! We're gonna sell out in no time! We'll have to do another printing. [runs outside, and there is an angry mob] Huh?
- Martha: Taskmaster!
- Mr. Krabs: What's going on?
- Martha: You should know! [shows him the newspaper]
- Mr. Krabs: [reading] "Krabs overworks employees, reaps reward!? Krabby Kronicle mastermind behind bogus stories pays his tired, under-age reporter pennies while he rakes in the dough!"?
- Martha: How could you do that to such an innocent child?! This is sick and inhumane!
- Sandy: Not to mention the fact that he's written lies about us!
- Plankton: I lost my restaurant because of you, and I thought I was evil.
- Larry: All the kids in town want to beat me up for lunch money! [cries]
- Mrs. Puff: And I've had to go back to watching... [starts to cry] ...Daytime television!
- Martha: Oh, that's it! We're taking our money back! [everyone runs in, and takes bags of money while leaving a trail of destruction]
- Mr. Krabs: No! AAAAAAHHHHH!!! [starts to cry]
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are you okay?
- Mr. Krabs: How can I be okay when me money's gone?! All gone! [cries then sighs] It just goes to show, trying to make an easy buck doesn't pay. [notices the printing press] Or does it? [puts a dollar in the printing press, and turns it on, which makes sheets of paper with just pictures of money] Get me some scissors, boy-o! It's time to use my imagination!
- Patrick: [while wearing fancy clothes] Hey, guys. Could you fix me and the wife up a couple of Krabby Patties? [his "wife" is the pole as described in the newspaper earlier]
The Slumber Party (10.1)
- SpongeBob: You wanna stay here... at my house... with MEEEEEEE?!?
- Mr. Krabs: Whaddya say, boy? [SpongeBob rockets up in excitement]
- SpongeBob: Yee-hee! Slumber party!
- Mr. Krabs: Maybe I should just sleep under the highway. [Afterwards, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs get into some sleeping bags and lie down near the TV]
- SpongeBob: We can stay up really, really late! And tell ghost stories and trade socks! [He shows Mr. Krabs his socks]
- Mr. Krabs: Is that what girls do at slumber parties?
- SpongeBob: No. They invite boys over and destroy the house!
- Mr. Krabs: They what?!
- SpongeBob: You know how girls are.
- Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob, do you know anything about girls?
- SpongeBob: [laughs] Do I know any...? No, but Gary does. [We see Gary reading a magazine, also holding the remote]
- Gary: Meow. [flicks on TV]
- TV Announcer: We now return to tonight’s scary movie: Slumber Party Zombie Attack! [In the movie, some girls are having a slumber party]
- Girl Fish: Pillow fight! [Girls fight and giggle. A pillow is thrown into a vase and picture frame] Missed me!
- Mr. Krabs: [Gasp] Look what they’re doing to that man’s house!
- SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs, it’s only a mov-ieeeeeeeeee...
Grooming Gary (10.2)
- SpongeBob: You were trying to tell me that all along Weren't you, Gary?
- Gary: Meow, meow!
- SpongeBob: Well, I won't let it happen again.
- Judge: Well, I think we can all agree that this year’s groomers cup goes to... SpongeBob and his wonderful pet!
- SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Gary? They're rewarding you for standing up and speaking out against injustice. Maybe these pageants aren't so superficial after all.
- Judge: What are you talking about? The snail didn't win, I was referring to your other pet. He's so adorable. [Patrick...?]
- Patrick: Woof, woof! [sticks his tongue out]
- Mr. Krabs: Where are your shoes? You're not going section 8 on me, are you?
- SpongeBob: It's so hot, my shoes... my shoes melted off.
- J.K.L.: [repeated line] Just keep breathin'.
Porous Pockets (12.1)
- SpongeBob: Patrick, the clam had a baby!
- Patrick: That’s not a baby, SpongeBob.
- SpongeBob: Well, then, what could it be?
- Patrick: I’ll give you a hint: what’s white, round, and comes out of clams?
- SpongeBob: Their... eyes?
- Patrick: No, silly! A volleyball!
- SpongeBob: A baby volleyball!
Choir Boys (12.2)
- [Squidward doesn't use the toilet, making it sad]
- Toilet Paper: Don't feel bad. He didn't use me yesterday either.
- SpongeBob: Squidward? Where are you going, all dressed up?
- Squidward: None of your business!
- SpongeBob: Can I come?
- Squidward: And no, You Can't.
- SpongeBob: Are you going to a fancy store?
- Squidward: No.
- SpongeBob: A fancy party?
- Squidward: No!
- SpongeBob: A hot fancy pants date?
- Squidward: NO!
- SpongeBob: Can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come, can I come?
- Squidward: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! Does that answer your questions?
- SpongeBob: All except for that last one.
Krusty Krushers (13.1)
- Mr. Krabs: Like we're really gonna turn all this money for--
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Wrestle Camp! Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp!
- Perch Perkins: Wrestle Camp it is. [The janitor vacuums up all the money and Mr. Krabs falls apart, then the janitor walks away]
- SpongeBob: See you at Wrestle Camp, Mr. Krabs! [He drops a wrestle camp hat on Mr. Krabs and the episode ends.]
The Card (XIII.II)
Dear Vikings (14.1)
Grandpappy the Pirate (15.1)
- Mr. Krabs: You've got to look like pirates, you've got to talk like pirates!
- Spongebob: Swarthy!! [Mr. Krabs frowns at him] I mean uh... Shiver me timbers.
- Mr. Krabs: But most importantly, you've got to smell like pirates! [goes to sniff Patrick, who gives us an atrocious close-up] D'oh! Very convincing, Patrick.
Cephalopod Lodge (15.2)
Squid's Visit (16.1)
To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants (16.2)
[a man is shown chewing his gum; gum bubble pops]
- Patrick: You're chewing too loud!
[Patrick throws him in jail; a man with untied shoes is shown]
- SpongeBob: Shoes untied!
[SpongeBob throws him in jail; an old woman is shown]
- Patrick: You're too old!
[Patrick throws her in jail, which has lots of people]
[The jail explodes. People land everywhere and some of them say “My leg!”]
Professor Squidward (17.2)
- Music Headmistress: The real Squiliam as we all know has a large bushy unibrow just at the base of his forehead.
- Squidward: But... (A police officer rips off Squidward's Wig)
- Police Officer: No unibrow. Squidward Q. Tentacles, i'm placing you under arrest for impersonating a genius.
- [Squidward is handcuffed and taken away by the police. SpongeBob takes out the metronome, starts it, and he and Patrick start swaying to the rhythm again]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...
Pet or Pests (18.1)
[Mrs. Wormley and Gary are growling each other again.]
Patrick: It looks like they're still not getting used to each other.
SpongeBob: Well, these things take time.
[Gary and Mrs. Wormsley start fighting again. SpongeBob and Patrick see the fight and they run and hide in SpongeBob's bed]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Duck and Cover!
[the fighting still continues outside of conch street]
Patrick: This town is getting too rough for me.
SpongeBob: He's chased her away! Now, who will care for her abandoned newborn infants?
Patrick: Maybe you could take care of them.
SpongeBob: Oh, no way Patrick. I've never seen Gary that upset.
Komputer Overload (18.2)
Gullible Pants (19.1)
No Hat for Pat (20.1)
- Frankie Billy: That guy still flopping?
- Frank: Yeah! Amazing, isn't it?
- Frankie Billy: Doesn't that get old?
- Harold: He's got a point.
- Frank: Yeah. You've seen enough?
- Harold: Yeah, let's get out of here. [He, Frank, and another customer throw their food on the floor and leave]
- Frankie Billy: Me, too. I'm out. [He throws his food on the floor and leaves like everybody else]
- Mr. Krabs: What? Wait! Don't go! Why ya leaving?
- Harold: This guy's act is stale! We crave excitement! [all the other customers argue]
- Mr. Krabs: Okay, Okay! You want excitement? What if I added a box? [puts Patrick on a box as he falls from it] Huh? Huh?
- Frankie Billy: Sort of the same, really.
- Frank: Yeah.
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay, so what if he flopped from two boxes...? [adds another box, but the customers are still bored] ...into a cream pie? [puts a cream pie in place]
- Patrick: I like pie.
- Frankie Billy: Say now.
- Frank: That, I'd pay to see!
Toy Store of Doom (20.2)
Sand Castles in the Sand (21.1)
- SpongeBob: [Floating gently down] All is fair in love and war my friend slash enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy!? [presses a sand button where a jet fighter resembling an F-16 hovers in midair until SpongeBob lands in the cockpit. It then starts chasing Patrick's robot head] Let's have some real fun! [Presses a button that launches two missiles that fly towards Patrick. Patrick screams as he turns his robot head away from the missiles]
Shell Shocked (21.2)
Chum Bucket Supreme (22.1)
- Mini Brain Patrick 1: Forget about what that word means! There's a fire breaking out in the language lobes!
- Mini Brain Patrick 2: We need to get outta here! [Mini Brain Patrick 3 pushes on a door with signs saying "PULL TO OPEN"]
- Mini Brain Patrick 3: The door's jammed!
- Mini Brain Patrick 2: Push harder! [all Mini Brain Patricks start moaning and coughing]
- Karen: Don't look now, but I think your catchy slogan days are numbered.
- Nat: [barfs on floor] Something's not right.
- Pilar: Yeah, I know, I keep sayin' "Chum is Fum" but it's...ehh...it's just not working.
- Nat: I'm outta here. [throws chumstick on the floor and leaves]
- Pilar: [also throws chumstick on the floor and leaves]
- Plankton: [To Patrick who is sleeping] Patrick!
- Patrick: [Wakes up] Huh?
- Plankton: We're having a board meeting here! We need ideas!
- Patrick: [Examining a line graph whose line ends in a toilet] Hmmmm...mmmhmmm...uh-huh. I think I see the problem. Your potty has a shocky thing in it!
- Plankton: [Annoyed] NO! That's not it you FOOL! We need a new slogan! You need to come up with a new genius catchphrase like Chum is Fum! But different.
- Patrick: Oh gotcha. Hmmmm. [Cut to Chum Bucket, whose slogan has been switched to "Fum is Chum!"]
- Nat: I'm so happy that they changed that old tired slogan "Chum is Fum"!
- Pilar: Yeah that new slogan, "Fum is Chum" is way cooler!
- Nat: Way cooler!
- Patrick: Excuse me, sir. [hands resignation slip] My resignation. [shows picture of himself in a fighter plane shooting bullets]
Single Cell Anniversary (22.2)
Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen. Oh, my computer wife, Karen. Put down those punch cards, Put down those punch cards, And listen to my ode.
Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen. Oh, my computer wife, Karen. What compares to, What compares to... Ehhhh, um, eeh... AH-HA! Your beautiful diodes? (Instrumental break)
Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen.' Oh, my computer wife, Karen. I was blinded, yes, I was blinded, I was blinded by the light of your cathode ray. Oh, I built you, yes, I built you, I built you in the - ehhh... erm... In the shape of a cube! Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen. You'll never know how much I love your vacuum tubes!
- SpongeBob: Can you believe it's been eleventy seven years already?
- [Gary meows angrily]
- SpongeBob: [gasps] Watch the potty mouth, Gar!
Pineapple Fever (25.1)
- Squidward: WHOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!! SO LONG, SUCKERS!!!! (falling) Oof! Oh, curse you, Preflumster! OOF! OH, CURSE YOU PREFLUMSTER!!!!
Chum Caverns (25.2)
- Mr. Krabs: Satisfied with yourself, Plankton! Now you've trapped us all underground!
- Fish #5: But at least we're trapped in a good restaurant!
- Mr. Krabs: Capturing customers! I should've though of it sooner, but without Squidward, I need someone to work the register. [Cut to Plankton and a cave creature working the register. The creature raises its whip]
- Cave Dweller #2: AAUUGGHHH!!!
- Sadie: Did you hear that? Neptune said it was all because of that guy! [citizens with torches, pitchforks, splinters, and other weapons form a mob with the damaged city in the background]
- Policeman: He did, did he?
- Patrick: Uh... SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?
- Patrick: Do you think now's a good time to get those Triple Gooberry Sundays you were talking about?
- SpongeBob: I think now would be an excellent time, yes. (But let's run first and see if we can lose the mob.) [the episode ends with he and Patrick screaming whilst getting chased by the angry mob]