SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9
- Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Main
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: What was that?
- British Gentleman: Why, those are the Dwastic Wadicals, the #1 practitioners of extweme spowts. [sips tea]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Extreme what?
- British Gentleman: Extweme... spowts.
- Patrick: "Extreme spots"? Well, that's no fair. You're already covers in extreme spots. Ooh, hold on a second. [hive buzzing, Patrick screaming, electricity crackling] Okay, let's do meet our new heroes.
Squirrel Record (1.2)
- Author: Thank you. Yes. Oh my... well, then... I'm afraid you've broken no records.
- SpongeBob and Sandy: Huh?
- Author: This book is 30 years old. These records were broken ages ago. You, however, have sent a brand new record: Most injuries sustained while helping a friend.
- Sandy: Good for you, SpongeBob.
- SpongeBob: [cracks] Um... hooray.
- Author: Say "cheese"! [takes a picture as the episode ends]
- Patrick-Man: Hey, where'd he come from?
- SpongeBob: [gasps] The Dirty Bubble?!
- Patrick-Man: The Dirty Bubble? I wanted to unmask Man Ray.
Gary's New Toy (2.2)
- SpongeBob: And so it's come to this. No home, no best friend, and sleeping under a bus stop. [a nematode pops out of the ground] Hello, little nematode. Will you be my friend? [the nematode crawls onto SpongeBob's arm] Atta boy. [the nematode crawls onto SpongeBob's arm] That tickles! [the nematode emerges with his wallet] Hey, my wallet! Good thing I cancelled those credit cards.
License to Milkshake (3.1)
- Fish: This shake is disgusting! Why, you probably don't even have a license to milkshake!
- SpongeBob: A license to milkshake? Well, of course I do, silly! And it doesn't expire until... [looks at his license] ...seven years ago!?
Squid Baby (3.2)
- Squidward: What the? Where am I? What's going on?
- SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, you're back to your normal grown-up self.
- Squidward: Of course I'm grown-up! Why wouldn't I be?! [notices he's wearing a diaper] Am I wearing... a diaper?
- SpongeBob: Yes.
- Squidward: Is it full? [looks inside diaper and screams]
- SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward! I was gonna change it, but I got in the wra... [Squidward puts his hand over SpongeBob's mouth]
- Squidward: Stop! Not another word about this! Ever.
- SpongeBob: Kids, they grow up so fast.
Little Yellow Book (4.1)
- Squidward: What do you think of Mr. Krabs' new plaid kilt?
- SpongeBob: P-p-p-p-plaid? [SpongeBob starts clucking like a chicken]
- Mr. Krabs: Well, you don't have to be nasty about it!
Bumper to Bumper (4.2)
- SpongeBob: Focus on the road. There is nothing but the road.
Eek, an Urchin! (5.1)
Squid Defense (5.2)
- Squidward: Am I under arrest?
- Policeman: You sure are! And you have the right to remain silent.
- (Squidward Screams)
- Policeman: Or not silent.
Evil Spatula (6.2)
- SpongeBob: How much do we need?
- Mr. Krabs: Careful, SpongeBob! Just two drops and that stuff could-
- SpongeBob: Got it. Two dro- [Squeezes out some drops in the barrel. A loud explosion occurs and SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are smeared in black and their faces are blown up.]
- Mr. Krabs: -blow our faces off.
It Came from Goo Lagoon (Episode 7)
- Plankton: [flies his pod and uses the windshield wipers to clean the goo off the window] Now to see what's inside a Krabby Patty! "Just one ingredient:..." [rolls down the paper as he continues to read only to find that there is a stick of dynamite attached to it] Darn it, Krabs! [the dynamite explodes inside the pod and it crash lands on the roof of the Chum Bucket] Ow. [Mr. Krabs laughs at Plankton's failure with joy]
Safe Deposit Krabs (8.1)
Plankton's Pet (8.2)
- Plankton: SpongeBob, before we're torn to shreds, I'd like to thank you for helping me look for Spot.
- SpongeBob: Aw, it was nothing. Hey, speaking of Spots. Did yo always have a double pupil?
- Plankton: A double what? [pulls Spot off eye] Spot! [dramatic music plays in the background] Thank entropy you're safe! You were hiding on my optical cornea the whole time! You sneaky little amoeba, you.
- [Spot barks and licks Plankton. Plankton laughs]
- SpongeBob: Aw, I'm glad you found Spot. [animals shrieking] Unfortunately, the animals found us too.
- Plankton: Good-bye, Spot. I guess this is the end of the road for us.
- [Spot growls, barks, and jumps out of Plankton's arms]
- Plankton: Spot, no!
- [Spot barks at other animals. the animals laugh. Spot snarls and grows to a much larger size. Spot barks loudly at animals. The animals all run away back into their cages. The cages close. Spot growls and shrinks back to small size. Spot jumps back into Plankton's arms]
- SpongeBob: Wow, Spot! You saved us!
- Plankton: I taught him everything he knows!
- [Spot barks and licks Plankton as the episode ends]
Don't Look Now (9.1)
Séance Shméance (9.2)
Kenny the Cat (10.1)
Yeti Krabs (10.2)
- Squidward: SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: Yes?
- Squidward: You know I hate you, right?
- SpongeBob: Yes, I do.
- Squidward: Well, I hate the smell of burning Krabby Patties more. [He gets down on one pair of knees and takes SpongeBob's hand to propose... that he come back to the Krusty Krab] Please come back and be the fry cook again.
Lost in Bikini Bottom (12.1)
Tutor Sauce (12.2)
- Mr. Krabs: [checks his mirror which says, "Objects in Mirror Will Be Expensive." mirror pans to The Krusty Krab entrance and a sign saying "Broken Wall" appears] Oh, broken wall. [a sign saying "$15,000" appears] That's about $15,000. [the mirror pans to the inside of The Krusty Krab where smoke is coming out of the kitchen window and a sign saying "Kitchen Fire" appears] Oh, kitchen fire. [a sign saying "$6,523.87" appears] Oh, that'll be about 6 grand. Oh! A lawsuit? [mirror pans to Squidward hitting Harold on the head with a spatula and a sign saying "Lawsuit" appears along with a sign saying "$150,000,000,000."] Oh, that's a lot of zeroes! Oh. [his eyes deflate, but they quickly return back to normal]
[bubble transition to the boat breaking a "One Way" sign as Mr. Krabs gasps, then screams with SpongeBob as SpongeBob drives the wrong way on the road, avoiding other boats and a gasoline truck. The boat then goes out of control for a few seconds before stopping on the road again]
- SpongeBob: Well, at least I didn't hit the Krusty Krab that time. [chuckles nervously. The scene cuts to the other boats that were avoiding Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob crashing into the Krusty Krab, including the gasoline truck which destroys the Krusty Krab in a fiery explosion and leaving a charred Squidward left standing]
Squid Plus One (13.1)
- Squidward: [quickly removes his relaxing stuff and takes out a phone book] Let's see here. Friends. [coughs and then blows away the dust, then sighs] [while looking through the phone book] Friends, friends... [keeps flipping the pages until he spots the number, "555-5717". Squidward gets surprised until it is revealed that the number was formed by little bugs] Hm. Yeah, I wonder if I still have my receipt for this thing. No big deal. Anybody can make a friend by... [reveals more of the card that says...] "TONIGHT!"? [walks around the house] Let's see. There must be someone who's a real part of your life, Squidward. Who do you see every single day? Who do you know like the back of your suction cups? [sees SpongeBob out the window, laughing and playing with his jump rope] But, of course! It's so simple. [runs outside. SpongeBob falls on his jump rope] SpongeBob, I have something to ask you.
- SpongeBob: [happily blinks his eyes to the camera] Of course, I'll go to the opening with you!
- Squidward: That wasn't the question. Which way did the mailman go?
The Executive Treatment (13.2)
- Fish: Right here is where all the biggest business decisions in the business are made. Why, if an imposter were to be caught in here, hmm…
- Patrick: He’d be given a sandwich and sent on his way?
- Fish: No, he’d be convicted as a corporate spy and sent to jail forever and ever and ever.
Company Picnic (14.1)
- [The pen is hurling towards Simmy. SpongeBob, in slow motion, runs to Simmy.]
- SpongeBob: [in slow motion] Simmy! Look out! There's a candied pen heading straight for your eye due to my act of swatting it away without first considering the trajectory! Oh, I wish I could give my words out faster, but everything's in slow motion! [The pen is about to hit Simmy.] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- [However, instead of hitting Simmy, it went through the robot. The pen lands on the ground and rolls to a projector. SpongeBob bangs on the projector, revealing that Simmy and Tally was just a trash can and a ball wash post.]
- SpongeBob: Simmy and Tally are holograms? Then that means... [The projector reveals that the world's most exciting roller coaster was actually a rotting corpse of a sea monster.]
- Squidward: I was riding that? What about those delicacies I was eating?
- [The projector reveals that the food Squidward ate was just rotten chum. The projector also revealed that the pen he was sucking on was a caterpillar. Squidward freaks out and rubs his tongue in disgust. The projector reveals that the van Plankton drove on was an old broken down van. Mr. Krabs gasps in wonder what the stuffed walruses were. But nothing happens.]
- Mr. Krabs: Whew! That was a clo... [The projector reveals that the stuffed walruses were actually fish skeletons. Mr. Krabs screams in terror and the skeletons crumble to dust.] You saved me, boy. How did you do it?
- SpongeBob: I guess my mind was all sharp from the relaxing fun I had at your company picnic, Mr. Krabs.
- [Plankton walks up to them.]
- Plankton: Unbelievable! [Mr. Krabs picks up Plankton.] Uh oh. [Mr. Krabs puts Plankton on the disk-shaped paper with mustard and throws him out in the distance. Once it landed, there was an explosion.]
- SpongeBob: [jumps up as a rainbow appears and jellyfish fly around] The greatest company picnic ever!
- Mr. Krabs: Alright, enough relaxing. Back to work! [laughs as he leaves]
- [The episode ends with SpongeBob still being in the air and an angry Squidward gets stung in the head by a jellyfish.]
Pull Up a Barrel (14.2)
- Squidward: What are we all winking about?
- SpongeBob: I don't know! [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs continues to wink, much to Squidward's annoyance.]
- SpongeBob: [after seeing a truck, he hides Senor Poopus behind his back, run and trips over a snail, and falls face flat in the sand. He emerges with his face full of sand and disfigured like Quasimodo] Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Everybody in. Everybody in!
What's Eating Patrick? (15.2)
- Mr. Krabs: [singing] Oh... I wonder, wonder, wonder how many Krabby Patties must we make?
- Squidward: Wonder no longer. You only need 1.
- Mr. Krabs: [gasps] [singing backwards] ⸮ekam ew tsum seittaP ybbaK ynam woh rednow, rednow, rednow I ...hO (Oh... I wonder, wonder, wonder how many Krabby Patties must we make?) What do you mean "1"?
- Squidward: Didn't you see today's newspaper?
- Mr. Krabs: "No takers for McNulty Challenge". Ha! What's that suppose to mean?
- Squidward: He's the current champion. He only needs to eat 1 patty to win.
Patrick! The Game (16.1)
- Patrick: It's called... "Patrick! The Game!"
- SpongeBob: Wow.
The Sewers of Bikini Bottom (16.2)
- Mr. Krabs: Listen up, crew, I have an announcement. Bikini Bottom's newest sports stadium will officially be named after this restaurant!
- SpongeBob: "The Krusty Krab Stadium." Wow!
- Mr. Krabs: Paying for the naming rights, will make me millions!
- SpongeBob: Opening day is today! Tailgate party!
SpongeBob LongPants (17.1)
- SpongeBob: Wow! Another Mermaid Man reboot. It's how I always re-imagined the reboot would be remade. [wind blows; shivers] Ooh, cold knees!
- Salesfish: [drives by, then park and jumps out of his boat with a suitcase] Well you see you got cold knees, icy joints like... vivian, patellas? What you need is a pair of longpants.
- SpongeBob: Longpants? [twists around looking at the pants spin around him]
Larry's Gym (17.2)
- Larry: You see before you is a combination of my lifelong dream! A place of my own where I can work out everyday and anytime I want, Larry's Gym! [crowd is cheering again]
- Larry: Looking out at this sea of plastic muscles and sagging flesh, frankly, I'm disgusted.
- Crowd: Awwww!
- Larry: I'm now opening the gym to everyone in Bikini Bottom! [crowd cheers for the third time] ...For the price of a lifetime membership.
- Crowd: Awww! [looks down]
- Larry: But today, everything is free!
The Fish Bowl (18.1)
- SpongeBob: Patrick, you are making very poor choices!
Married to Money (18.2)
- Mr. Krabs: You know somethin'? [jumps off the bench and points at Cashina] You look like $1,000,000 when you smile. [Cashina giggles again; Mr. Krabs gets down onto one knee] Cashina, would you make this old crab's day... and allow me to take you to a place where you can buy me dinner? [smiles again]
- Cashina: I'd love to... [her face becomes completely transparent as the rest of her darkens, revealing none other than Plankton inside, sitting on a chair and controlling Cashina by means of a lever, a control panel with buttons, a joystick, and a microphone on it, and a camera]
- Plankton: [puts his hand over the microphone] ...Scam you out of your secret formula, that is. [laughs evilly as Cashina's face reappears; she covers her mouth as Plankton's laugh only comes out as a small giggle]
Mall Girl Pearl (19.1)
- Beatrice: ...And that's why today, we all wear shoes.
- Marina: Okay, okay, We get it. We will stop being mean, I promise. Just let us go.
- All: Whoa! [groaning]
- Marina: Listen, Pearl. We didn't mean to hurt your feeling or anything. We just, like, think it's weird that you're, like, a grandma now or whatever. We don't really get it.
- Pearl: Well, I don't care what you think anymore anyway. I'm being true to myself, and--and that's all that matters!
Two Thumbs Down (19.2)
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you old patty junkie! Welcome home son! [SpongeBob glances at Patrick]
- Patrick: It's okay, I hate work anyway. [everyone laughs]
- SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick!
- Patrick: No really, I do hate work! [everyone laughs even harder, even Patrick starts laughing] Everybody's laughing! Oh hey SpongeBob, I got something for ya!
- SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?
- [Patrick gives SpongeBob two thumbs-ups, as well as SpongeBob. The crowd cheers, SpongeBob's and Patrick's thumbs launch into the air, and explode into a big "THE END" and the episode ends]
Sharks vs. Pods (20.1)
- SpongeBob: Showdown? I can't fight in a showdown! I'll have to go into the Witness Protection program, [goes through pictures of The Krusty Krab] I'll have to quit working at The Krusty Krab, I'll never flip a succulent Krabby Patty ever again. Oh, what have I done? [notices a note next to Gary's food bowl and picks it up and reads it.] "Hey yo Sponge-o, we were in your neck of the woods and decided to pickup your beloved pet Gary, if you wanna see him you better hightail your porous caboose over to the showdown, sincerely Sharkface and the other Sharks", Gary! No! [runs through the wall and out of his house, but runs back and breaks through the door.] I have to save Gary, I have to go to the showdown! I have to get ready to fight! [puts on shades; gets 100% lard patty oil and dips his head in it, and then has some hair, he uses his hair to hit a punching bag, and then spins around two spatulas and slices almost everything in the room.] I'm ready!
CopyBob DittoPants (20.2)
- Plankton: Quickly, man! Before you fade, what's the formula?!
- SpongeBob Copy: It's easy. You take one par... Whoa! I don't feel so good... [Disappears]
- Plankton: Wait, no! [Each time he goes near a copy, he says "The formula!" but then each copy disappears. Scene cuts to a bunch of other copies cleaning the roof, mowing the lawn, and some other things but they disappear. Then the scene cuts to Patrick playing with some of the copies but they disappear also.]
- Plankton: Life is but a walking shadow. Ha-lube-lube-lube-lube-lube... [Stopped because he gets hit by a lawnmower and gets split into 9 mini copies of himself. Scene transitions to Plankton running over to the final copy.]
- Plankton: What's the formula?! [Mr. Krabs enters.]
- Mr. Krabs: Well, I did it. I calculated 1 paycheck down into 300 separate tiny checks. Only one of you left? Here.
- [The copy vanishes]
- Plankton: Geez, what a cheapskate.
- [Squidward presents himself at SpongeBob's home, dressed up in typical German clothes, in order to convince him that a German family has moved there]
- Squidward: [with a German accent] Ehm... German hello...?
- SpongeBob: ACH! Guten Morgen! Mein Name ist SpongeBob.
- Squidward: [baffled] Say what?
- SpongeBob: Guten Morgen! Mein Name ist SpongeBob. Ich bin gekommen, um meine alte Heimat zu besuchen.
- Squidward: Please, would you speaken Sie English? I need za practice...
Lame and Fortune (21.2)
- Plankton: I guess I didn't really think that through.
- Mr. Krabs: I figured the funeral fortune was phony, Plankton.
- Plankton: Oh, yeah?! What are you going to do about it, Eugene?
- Mr. Krabs: Nothing, Sheldon. [holds a fortune cookie] Here, have a fortune cookie. [gives Plankton the fortune cookie]
- Plankton: [opens fortune cookie and starts reading the fortune teller] Eh. "You will go on a long voyage where you will get everything you deserve." [gets picked up by Mr. Krabs] Hey!
- [the ending follows to a Chinese restaurant where Plankton pops out of a fortune cookie and is avoiding the chopsticks.]
- Plankton: Ahh! Hey! [gets grabbed by the chopsticks] Ooh! Mommy! [a chomping noise is heard]
Goodbye, Krabby Patty? (Episode 22)
- Patrick: [awkward] Good evening, ladies and... the other ones. I know you're all excited to see the 400th commercial, but before we see it, I just want to say... [Patrick looks at SpongeBob, who gives him a thumbs up. Then he turns to the audience.] That... [looks at Don and Mr. Krabs] that... Frozen Krabby Patties are...
- SpongeBob: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
- Patrick: [determining] ...Made with sand! [The audience gasps in shock.]
- Mr. Krabs: [shocked] Oh, no! [Mr. Krabs faints in Don's arms again.]
- Don Grouper: That was cute when you were rich. [drops Mr. Krabs and surrenders with his hands up guiltily] I'm out of here. [Don leaves the stage as the audience vomit out sand. In doing so, their butts shrink down to their normal size. The scene changes to a graph of the Frozen Krabby Patty sales going down.]
- Perch Perkins: And in shocking news today, it has been revealed that Frozen Krabby Patties are made with sand.
- [As everyone is watching the news, various people vomit out sand and their butts shrink back to normal. One of which vomits out palm trees. Another vomits out patty-shaped sand. Another vomits out sand shaped like a rectangular box. Another vomits sand through his eye sockets. Another vomits out sand with a snail in it. Then their butts begins to shrivel up afterwards. Not wanting to take this anymore, the customers decided once and for all to throw away all of the frozen patties they bought. Mr. Krabs is seen near a trashcan, depressed. The Krusty Factory is being closed down and pushed away by construction workers.]
- Mr. Krabs: Well, it's gone. Everything I spent me life building is all gone. I'm ruined. [sobs]
Sandy's Nutmare (23.1)
- SpongeBob: Oh no! The nuts stopped!
- Patrick: Hold on! I got this! [Patrick pokes the tree with his umbrella, but much to his horror, the tree cracks, loses its leaves and inexplicably dies. SpongeBob and Patrick scream.]
- SpongeBob: Oh no! Patrick, we have to do something! Sandy'll never forgive us if we ruined her tree!
- Patrick: And I'll never forgive her if she runs out of Nutty Butter!
Bulletin Board (23.2)
- SpongeBob [to Mr. Krabs] : Let's see what other nice people are saying. [He walks out of Mr. Krabs office. Moments later, SpongeBob is standing in front of the bulletin board, screaming and clutching his head] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
- Dave: What are you shrieking about? [SpongeBob hurriedly covers a space of the bulletin board]
- SpongeBob [evasively]: Nothing, I just love to shriek! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Food Con Castaways (24.1)
- SpongeBob: Positions everyone! [SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward position themselves to protect the Krabby Patty at all costs. Suddenly, they hear something growling in the bushes. They get scared by the growling sound until a small snail pops out and meows.] Aww. Hey, little fella. [SpongeBob thought the snail was harmless and friendly. But to his surprise, the snail transforms into a monster and roars at them. Everyone screams and the snail monster grabs the Krabby Patty.]
- SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Squidward: THE PATTY! [The snail monster begins to fly away with the Krabby Patty.]
- SpongeBob: [Panics and runs around] Oh, what are we gonna do?!
- Mr. Krabs: Don't eat my patty! [Mr. Krabs grabs Squidward and throws him in the air. Squidward ends up in the snail monster's claws and the monster eats Squidward. However, the monster spits Squidward out and rubs his tongue, meaning that he didn't like the taste of Squidward. Squidward falls flat on his face in the ground and SpongeBob catches the Krabby Patty.]
- SpongeBob: Squidward, you've saved the Krabby Patty!
- Squidward: Whoopee.
Snail Mail (24.2)
- SpongeBob: Pen Pal, this one's for you. [SpongeBob's plane drives down the runway and slowly begins to take off. SpongeBob pulls down the lever and the plane starts to fly. The audience cheers in astonishment.] Whoo-hoo! I'm flying! Yee-haw! [Suddenly, to SpongeBob's surprise, Patrick is running on the runway below him.]
- Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! I can't believe you can actually fly like you said in your letter!
- SpongeBob: Patrick? You're Pen Pal?
- Patrick: [laughs] Duh! [laughs]
- SpongeBob: But... but you said you were dying! You're not dying!
- Patrick: Dying? Oh, oh! You didn't read the whole letter!
- SpongeBob: [pulls out the letter] See? It says, "I wish I could watch you fly because I am dying!"
- Patrick: [pulls out his second letter] And here's the second page! "To see you as a real pilot, SpongeBob. Here are some other things I like to see: candy rain, a firetruck full of clowns, and... a bunch of other stuff."
- SpongeBob: It all makes sense now! [laughs] Oh, Patrick! [laughs]
- Patrick: [laughs as his letter slips off his hands] You thought I was dying!
Pineapple Invasion (25.1)
Salsa Imbecilicus (25.2)
Mutiny on the Krusty (26.1)
- SpongeBob: Here you go, Mr. Krabs. You earned it.
- Mr. Krabs: Well, boy-yo, you believed in me. So, today will be a payday for you.
- Squidward: What about me?
- Mr. Krabs: You, Ex-Captain Squidward, have gone from payday to mayday! Mush! Every last one of ya! All the way back to Bikini Bottom! [laughs]
- [The episode ends with Squidward and the customers pulling the Krusty Krab back to Bikini Bottom while SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs sit on the roof.]
The Whole Tooth (26.2)
- Patrick: HEY! Where do you think you're going, chum chewer? [Patrick grabs Squidward and holds him up. Patrick and SpongeBob are now angry at Squidward for what he tried to do.]
- Squidward: Hey, come on! This is just a big misunderstanding! Ferry, fairy: They're two different words that just happen to sound alike! [SpongeBob holds up a bucket of chum meat.]
- SpongeBob: Open wide, Squidward!
- Squidward: NO! [Squidward's teeth scream and they jump out of his mouth. Squidward's teeth go into the water and swim towards the Tooth Ferry, ending the episode.]