SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4

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SpongeBob SquarePants Season 4

Episode 1[edit]

Fear of a Krabby Patty (1.1)[edit]

[Montage of non-stop service]
Mr. Krabs: DAY 15! GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15!
SpongeBob: [singing, flipping patties] K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y... [Plankton laughs menacingly] 1,322...
Mr. Krabs: DAY 23! GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 23!
SpongeBob: 6,654...
Mr. Krabs: DAY 30!
SpongeBob: 7,121... [Plankton laughs menacingly]
Mr. Krabs: Day... 35...!
SpongeBob: 8,659...
Old Man Jenkins: Wait, what's going on? Whoa, whoa...!

[After so many days running 24 hours]
Mr. Krabs: Day, uh... anyone know how many days it's been? I lost track.
Squidward: [wheezes] 43.

Peter Lankton (Plankton): Okay, I say a word, and I want you to say the first word that pops in your head.
SpongeBob: Okay!
Mr. Lankton: Work.
SpongeBob: Work.
Dr. Peter Lankton: Spatula.
SpongeBob: Spatula.
Dr. P. Lankton: [annoyed] Bun.
SpongeBob: Bun.
P. Lankton: See, the key is to say something different than what I say.
SpongeBob: Ooh, Okay, I got it.
Dr. Lankton: Potato.
SpongeBob: Patotto.
Lankton: Tomato.
SpongeBob: Tamotto.

[In SpongeBob's dream]
Dreamy Krabby Patty: [points at Dreamy SpongeBob's chest] I'll always be with you right here.
Dreamy SpongeBob: In my heart?
Dreamy Krabby Patty: Actually, in your arteries.

SpongeBob: [When he's cured] It worked. I'm cured!
Lankton: But what about the formula?!?
SpongeBob: You're right, I gotta go back to work.
Lankton: Wait! Come back! Therapy doesn't work. YOU'RE STILL SICK, VERY VERY SICK!!

Mr. Krabs: No more 24 hour shifts... 'cause 23 hours will be plenty!

Shell of a Man (1.2)[edit]

SpongeBob: [putting the meat on the patty] Easy... [takes all the condiments and throws them in the air. They all land nicely stacked on top of the patty] Perfection!

Squidward: Is #5's order ready yet, Spongebob?

SpongeBob: [gasps] Mr. Krabs. [knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens] Hello? Mr. Krabs? [Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk] You alright? Are you sleepy? [pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor revealing an empty shell] Mr. Krabs!! [sniffs his arm] I don't smell his pulse. [in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob] What's that? [figure is behind a barrel] Is somebody there?
Mr. Krabs: Don't look at me! Leave me be!
SpongeBob: [throws barrel away] You're alive and... naked.

[At the reunion]
SpongeBob: Well, here goes noth-- Wow. I've never seen so many manly naval men. So tough, so brave, so... clever. And I'm one of them! [at the reunion, a tough man is shown lifting Nancy on a treasure chest]
Mr. Krabs: [hiding in a coral plant] No, you're not. Don't blow this for me, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: I won't let you down.
Mutton Chop: Armor Abs Krabs. Come join your navy buddies in a toast.
SpongeBob: [high-pitched voice] Comiiing! [runs over to the table]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, what have I done?
"Armor Abs Krabs" (SpongeBob): Okay boys, let the SS Party drop anchor right here.
Mr. Krabs: I've created a monster.
Lockjaw Jones: Here's some grog. You still like pineapple, right?
"Armor Abs Krabs": Like pineapple? I live in one. [everyone laughs]
Torpedo Belly: That Ol' Krabs is manly as ever.
Mr. Krabs: I don't believe it. SpongeBob is pulling it off.
Mutton Chop: Hey Armor Abs, Ol' Iron Eye here has been itching to punch your legendary gut.
"Armor Abs Krabs": Well, if you think you're man enough.
Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh, this could be bad.
"Armor Abs Krabs": Fire the torpedoes. [Iron Eye punches SpongeBob. He bounces around in Mr. Krabs' shell then comes up dizzy]
Mutton Chop: What do you say, Krabs? Just like old times. ["Armor Abs Krabs" spits out a tooth]
Lockjaw Jones: A tooth? ["Armor Abs Krabs" spits out 2 more teeth]
Torpedo Belly: Teeth. Now, that's manly. [SpongeBob coughs out his skeleton and everyone gasps then cheers] (...And disgusting.)

Mutton Chop: Admitting you lost your shell is the toughest thing I've ever seen and uh... I have a confession. Uh... [rips off his 'fake' sideburns] These are fake!
SpongeBob and Armor Abs Krabs: [gasp] What...?
Torpedo Belly: Over here.
Armor Abs Krabs: You too, Torpedo Belly?
Torpedo Belly: Actually, I had my torpedo removed... long ago.
Lockjaw Jones: And these aren't the same choppers... that I had in the navy.
Iron Eye: My iron eye is actually made of Formica. [everyone laughs]
SpongeBob: Look at that, Mr. Krabs. You're navy buddies all had something to hide.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, poor suckers. At least, my shell will grow back. [both laugh]

Episode 2[edit]

The Lost Mattress (2.1)[edit]

SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do, Squidward? There are krabby patties inside all alone.
Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.
SpongeBob: [faces comes out his backside] Mr. Krabs, you're here! [jumping around] Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you. That the world would've never been deprived of the greatest food known to man.

SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward: Surprise!
Mr. Krabs: Armageddon! What? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you doing in me bedroom?
SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.
Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.
Patrick: [talking to SpongeBob] I thought it was your idea.
Mr. Krabs: So, where's me old mattress then? [fury goes up]
Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.
Mr. Krabs: [jumps on Squidward] All my money was in that mattress.
Squidward: What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!?
Mr. Krabs: No! [walks backward, hits his lamp and trashes some books]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: No! [faints]

Police Officer: Not so fast! [holds up get well card] This card says "This was all my idea. Love, Squid-ward". If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!

Squidward: Oh, I give up. [guard worm lands in Squidward's arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him]

Krabs vs. Plankton (2.2)[edit]

Plankton: [ponders the thought and then falls back and pretends to be injured] Oh, the pain! I can't feel my arms and legs! I think they're broken. I'll have to sue for my pain and suffering.
Mr. Krabs: [bursting through his office's door] Sue!?!
Female Customer #1: Oh, that looks bad.
Dennis: Uh-oh.

[Plankton, in a wheelchair, enters the courtroom and precedes to Mr. Krabs]
Plankton: [whispering] I'll give you one last chance. I'll drop the charges if you give me the formula.
Mr. Krabs: [yelling] Never, you little runt! [The court audience gasps]
Plankton: [dramatically] Oww, oww! My wittle arm! [audience gasps]
Mr. Krabs: What? No. I didn't lay a claw on him.
Plankton: Oww! My other arm! [audience gasps]
Mr. Krabs: He's lying! Bah!
[Judge's gavel knocks and the two proceed to their desk]
Tom: Court will come to order. The Honorable Judge Stickleback presiding.
Stickleback: Mr. Krabs, where is your attorney?
Mr. Krabs: [hesitantly] I don't know... where he could be.
[The courtroom door bursts open, with SpongeBob standing there in a gray suit, similar to the previous lawyer's]
SpongeBob: Here I am!
Stickleback: Thank you for joining us, Mr....!?
SpongeBob: [placing his briefcase on the desk] SpongeBob 'LawyerPants', your honor.
Mr. Krabs: [Through his teeth] What are you doing here, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Your lawyer, umm... fell down on the job, but don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I have everything under control. It's, uhh... all in here. [rubs his briefcase]
Mr. Krabs: Really?
SpongeBob: Yep, right in here. [tries to unlock the briefcase, but can't]
Mr. Krabs: Is there a problem?
SpongeBob: Umm... your lawyer didn't give me the combination.

Mr. Krabs: You may as well give up on that case, me boy. My goose is cooked.
SpongeBob: [gasps] Mr. Krabs, I'm surprised at you. We can't give up just because things :look bleak. This trial will be won by what's in your heart, not what's in this dumb old case. [he hits the case. The case then opens up] It's open! [they lift the case]
Mr. Krabs: It's... [shows that the thing inside the briefcase is a Krabby Patty] It's just his lunch. Or is it? [a light bulb moves out of SpongeBob's head and starts glowing, implying that he has an idea.]
SpongeBob: Defense calls Plankton to the stand.
[Plankton looks surprised; later, on the stand]
SpongeBob: Why did you go into the Krusty Krab that day?
Plankton: To, you know. Say hello to my once good friend, Mr. Krabs. What?
SpongeBob: Are you sure it wasn't to make off with one of these? [he shows Plankton a Krabby Patty. Plankton starts licking his lips] Gotcha. Weren't you there to steal the formula of the most delicious, sweet smelling sandwich known to Bikini Bottom? Krabby Patty.
Plankton: [continuously sweating] Uhh...uhh...uhh [he tries to bite the sandwich, but SpongeBob takes it away. He takes off his fake casts] I can't take it! Gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme! [jumps for the sandwich and grabs it, then he runs off with it] Yippee! Finally it's mine!
Mr. Krabs: [grabbing the sandwich from Plankton] I'll take that!
Plankton: Huh? No, no, no!
Mr. Krabs: Once again, Plankton, the sweetest of life's joys has eluded your grasp. [he eats the Krabby Patty]
Plankton: No, no, no, no!

Tom: We have, your honor. We find the defendant not guilty... but he is cheap.
Mr. Krabs: Well, it'll do. After all, it's free!

Have You Seen this Snail? (Episode 3)[edit]

SpongeBob: Dirty Bubble, say your prayers!

Snails in Painting: RUN!!

[Gary sees the fliers SpongeBob and Patrick have been posting all over town, and realizes that SpongeBob wants him back]
SpongeBob: [in Gary's mind] Gary, please come back to me!
[Gary starts crawling towards his old home]
SpongeBob: [continued] Go, boy! Go!

Granny: Oh, there you are, Ms. Tuffsy!
Other Snail: Who?

Patrick: Did you just say "Gary"? SpongeBob, I just remembered! Back at the craft store, I saw... these huge chunks of balsa wood! They were AWESOME!

[That Night, SpongeBob and Patrick are searching for Gary. Patrick is shaking his belly]
SpongeBob: Gary? Gary! Gary, where are you? Are you under here? [lifts a flower up] Gary! Keep shaking, Patrick.
Patrick: Oh. [jiggles his belly]
SpongeBob: Gary!
Squidward: What are those Neanderthals up to? Don't they know I'm busy spoiling myself? [SpongeBob and Patrick open Squidward's door while he is in the bathtub, Squidward screams three times, then he pants]
SpongeBob: You check over there. I'll check in here. [checks in the bathtub Squidward is in] Find him yet, Pat?
Patrick: [pulls the sink out from the wall, making water shoot out everywhere] No, but I'll keep looking.
SpongeBob: [teary-eyed] But there's nowhere left to look.
Patrick: There's one place we haven't checked.

Episode 4[edit]

Skill Crane (4.1)[edit]

[Squidward sitting on ground with empty bag over head]
SpongeBob: Pardon me, Squidward. SpongeBear, Jr. here wants me to win him a little brother. [Squidward scoots to the side while SpongeBob inserts a coin into the machine]
Skill Crane: You are a winner! [two prizes come out]
Squidward: Huh?
SpongeBob: Two in one quarter? That's not fair. [puts in one of the prizes] What's that clown frown? Oh, you'd rather sit next to lovely lion? [takes the crane and moves the prizes around] There you are, nice and cozy. See ya later, Squidward.

Good Neighbors (4.2)[edit]

[After Squidward's House returns to normal]
SpongeBob: We did it, Patrick! [Squidward busts through from beneath the floor] President Squidward?!
Squidward: No-no, don't say anything more. This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. Now if you'll be so kind to leave so I can get ready for work tomorrow.
SpongeBob: Mr. President-
Squidward: Shush.
SpongeBob: But we just wanted to…
Squidward: [screaming] GET OUT OF MY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE!!!!

Episode 5[edit]

Selling Out (5.1)[edit]

Carl: Hey, fellas! What's going on over here?
Squidward: Oh, hey, Carl! I was just reminding Eugene about article 24, section 3 of the Employee Handbook!
Carl: Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter. Good job, Squidward!
Eugene: What've you done with the real Squidward?!
Carl: The less you know Eugene, the better!

Carl: Now, you wouldn't want to talk to human resources, [a big hitman appears in the doorway] would ya? What's our motto again?
Squidward: [frightened] Uh-uh... Sincere Service... [slaps himself across the face and activates his Morpher] WITH A SMILE!

Eugene: SpongeBob, what happened to the krabby patties?
SpongeBob: I tried to tell them, BUT THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!!

Eugene: [seeing Krabby Patties being processed on a conveyor belt] This is obscene!

Mr. Blandy: Mr. Krabs, is there a problem?
Mr. Eugene Krabs: You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy, but after seeing this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time! Not on a conveyor belt!
[An alarm sounds just then. Gray matter oozes out from beneath the closed kitchen door]
Carl: Oh my.

[While golfing during his retirement]
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute... I hate golf!

Carl: Mr. Blandy?! Code Red, FREE THINKER!

Mr. Krabs: Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know what's in that patty you're eating?
Customer: No. [Mr. Krabs shows pile of the gray sludge. Customer runs out]
Mr. Krabs: See that, without all your smoke and mirrors, no one would stomach this garbage.
Edward: What'd he say, garbage? [customers notice what's in the Krabby Patties and everyone runs out]

Funny Pants (5.2)[edit]

(Spongebob laughs as he sees Patrick continuously slipping on a banana peel)
Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.

Dunces and Dragons (Episode 6)[edit]

Guard: Right this way.
SpongeBob: Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, "Righteth this way-eth!"
Guard: [holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down] Some day, but not today.

Squidly: Everyone be-eth a critic.

Patrick: Me thinks it's mutton-tastic!

Squidly: I'll show you. [singing] I was the king's favorite fool.
I made merry mirth and laughter.
Then I told one bad joke and the king had a stroke and now I hang from ye olde rafter.
Patrick: [stomach growls] What does a guy have to do to get some mutton around here? I'm starving!
Squidly: Don't hold thy breath! We'll be lucky if we get fed again by the 12th century!
SpongeBob: They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
Patrick: What's that?
Squidly: [singing] The evil wizard's dragon is here.
See the townsfolk scream with fear.
See the townsfolk try to run.
I can tell this won't be fun.
The dragon will torch everything, everything in the valley.
Hospitals, schools, retirement homes, and even ye olde bowling alley.

SpongeBob: Squidward, what are you doing here?
Squidly: [looks around confused] Does thou talketh to me?
SpongeBob: [laughs] Good one, Squidward. [imitates Squidly] "Does thou talketh to me?".

[SpongeBob, Squidly, and Patrick all head to the bridge to stop the evil wizard, but a Dark Knight blocks their path]
Dark Knight: [dark male voice] Halt, who goes there?
Squidly: Doth my eyes betray me? Tis the nefarious dark knight. [singing] Oh dark knight Spare us please,
Don't cut off our heads or boil our knees.
Pray take these two and let me go free and will give to thee some...cheese! [cow makes sounds]
SpongeBob/Patrick: Dark knight?!
Dark Knight: [dark male voice] I asketh once more. Before I rip thee limb from limb, reveal thyself!
SpongeBob: I am SpongeBob and this is Patrick. [laughs nervously] We've been sent to rescue Princess Pearl from Planktonamor.
Dark Knight: [dark male voice] If thou wishes to get across, thou willst have [reveals self as Medieval Sandy and speaks with a female voice] to get through me!
SpongeBob: [gasps] Medieval Sandy! I know how to handle this: With a little karate! [both attack each other but SpongeBob swallows Sandy then spits her out into a rock]
Dark Knight: By the hammer of Odin, this be a new fighting style my eyes have not yet seen.
SpongeBob: I am bad, oh yeah! Whoo!
Dark Knight: Doth thou tryeth to insult me? Thou willst drink from the fountain of shame!
SpongeBob: Pssh, did you hear that Patrick? I told you she thinks like a squirrel. [Dark Knight destroys the armor and throws SpongeBob into a rock. SpongeBob ends up having his legs and arms switched] Good one, Medieval Sandy. But can you handle my feet of fury? [attacks Dark Knight but the Dark Knight jumps out of the way as SpongeBob bounces off the rock and into Dark Knight sending her into the other rock. SpongeBob attacks her again but the Dark Knight pins SpongeBob against the rock]
Dark Knight: Wouldst thou like a little rub down? [as she is rubbing SpongeBob turns into dust causing the Dark Knight to cough. SpongeBob appears normal again and karate chops the Dark Knight] You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
SpongeBob: I don't understand a word you just said! [laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel but with the crosses for eyes] Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy…?

Episode 7[edit]

Enemy-in-Law (7.1)[edit]

Plankton: Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
SpongeBob: Terribly sorry, sir. [pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it] Will there be anything else?
Plankton: Is my tie on straight?
SpongeBob: You... look FABULOUS!!!

Plankton: Well, I'm in the food service, I'm a bit of a restauranteur. I'm the owner of the Chum Bucket.
Mrs. Krabs: Never heard of it.
Plankton: [looks shocked] It's across the street.
Mrs. Krabs: Doesn't ring a bell.
Plankton: [holds up a telephone directory] It's on the back of the phone book. Come on, I paid a lot of money for that ad! Never mind, never mind. So, tell me about you.

Eugene Krabs: PLANKTON!
Plankton: KRABS!
Mrs. Krabs: EUGENE!
Eugene Krabs: Mommy?
Plankton: "Mommy?!"?
SpongeBob: SpongeBob!
Eugene Krabs: SPONGEBOB!

Plankton: [to Mr. Krabs] This delectable creature is your mother?
Eugene Krabs: [to Mama Krabs] This no-good, conniving chizzler is your date?!
SpongeBob: And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter!
Eugene Krabs: SPONGEBOB!!! I don't know what sort of skullduggery you're up to, Plankton, and I'm not waiting to find out.

[Mr. Krabs is taking Plankton out of the restaurant]
Mrs. Krabs: Eugene, you put my boyfriend down this instant! [Mr. Krabs looks shocked]
Plankton: Boyfriend?
Eugene Krabs: But, Mommy...
Plankton: You heard the lady, let me go! [Mr. Krabs reluctantly drops Plankton into Mrs. Krabs' hand]
Plankton: That's more like it.
Mrs. Krabs: [carrying him home] Come, Plankton. I'm sorry me son had to spoil our romantic evening.
Eugene Krabs: [alone, sadly] ...Mommy?

Mrs. Krabs: Oh, Sheldon.
Plankton: Oh, Mrs. Krabs. [snaps fingers]
Eugene Krabs: Oh, brother.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture (VII.II)[edit]

Mermaid Man: Banco!
Barnacle Boy: It's "bingo!".
Mermaid Man: Get your hands off me, woman!

Sandy: Did someone say, BOOM!? [blows up Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]

Episode 8[edit]

Patrick Smartpants (8.1)[edit]

Patrick: [to Squidward] May I suggest that on the seventh bar of the 'Adagio Andante' that you add a little fortissimo on the arpeggiated B flat scale.
Squidward: Wow, I never thought to do it like that!
Patrick: That is because you rarely think.
Spongebob: How do you know so much about music?
Patrick: A creative outlet provides a spiritual release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance.

Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship! I PREFER TO BE AN IDIOT!
SpongeBob: You're not just an idiot Patrick, you're also my pal!

SpongeBob: Patrick! You're back!
Patrick: Patrick, you're back.
[They hug each other]

SquidBob TentaclePants (8.2)[edit]

[SpongeBob and Squidward are riding a bike to work]
Squidward: SpongeBob, hasn't anyone taught you how to ride a bike?
SpongeBob: Don't worry, I'll drive.
[Squidward's head bumps against the wheel of the bike]
Squidward: Ow, ow, ow. SpongeBob! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [both enter the Krusty Krab riding the bike. The bike crashes into the boat and they fly through the kitchen window]
Customer #1: I gotta lay off the hot sauce.
Mr. Krabs: [enters kitchen] What in blazes is going on in here?
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: What are you two doing laying around? Get to work!
Squidward: If you say so. [as they stand up, Mr. Krabs freaks out]
Mr. Krabs: Egad. What happened to ya? Uhh, I don't want to know. Just go do your jobs.
SpongeBob: Aye aye, cap'n.
Squidward: Do you have to be such an accommodating buffoon?
SpongeBob: Squidward, everybody knows I'm a sponge. I look nothing like a balloon.
Squidward: I don't have time for this. I've got to man the cash register. [stretches his head through the kitchen window] Whew. Can I help you?
Customer #2: Can I get two Krabby Patties, please?
Squidward: SpongeBob, I need two Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob: Two Krabby Patties coming right up. [notices the buns are out of reach] Can't... reach the buns.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's the hold up?!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I'm on it.
Mr. Krabs: Time is money, boy!
SpongeBob: Time is money. Right. [reaches bun] Hello bun. At last we meet.
[Squidward can't hold the cash register. His head flies through the kitchen window, onto the grill and crashes into SpongeBob]
Mr. Krabs: [hears a noise] WHA?!? [enters kitchen again] Alright, that's it! I can't afford you jeopardizing me business! You two are more trouble than you're worth! You're both FIRED! [Mr Krabs pushes them out the restaurant] And don't come back until you get this problem sorted out! BECAUSE, YOU TWO ARE BECAME ONE BIGGEST, DEADLIEST BEAST!!!

[Later, SpongeBob and Squidward walk home]
SpongeBob: Look on the bright side, Squidward. At least we still have each other.
Squidward: That's how we got into this predicament in the first place, you imbecile. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like a moment of peace.
[Squidward plays his clarinet as they walk past a surfer]
Surfer: Whoa, rock on, freaky bro!
[SpongeBob and Squidward went to Sandy]
Squidward: Sandy! Sandy! Please tell me you've figured out a way to separate us.
Sandy: Say hello to the 'Molecular Separator Ray'.
Squidward: Hello Molecular Separator Ray. Well, let's get on with it. My clarinet recital is tomorrow night.
Sandy: Uhh, well, I'm not quite done with it yet.
Squidward: What'd you say?
Sandy: I'm still putting it together. At best I'll have it ready, uhh, the day after tomorrow? Maybe?
[Squidward pushes Sandy's air helmet]
Squidward: What? Day after tomorrow?! No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No! I have a performance tomorrow! I can't be stuck to that yellow freak. [SpongeBob smiles and blinks his eyes] Sandy, please, you've got to do it before the show.
Sandy: Well, uhh, I suppose... I'll have it ready before you go on.

Sandy: Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
SpongeBob/Squidward: Sandy?
Sandy: One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good.
[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]
Squidward: [SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet] Hmph. [plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]
Mary: I think I'm going to be sick.
[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]
Billy: Ah, I'm out of here!
Squidward: Huh, no wait. Wait! [everyone leaves] Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. [grabs the Molecular Separator Ray] There's got to be some way to reverse this. [pushes the button over and over]
Sandy: No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
SpongeBob: Squidward, I wouldn't...
[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]
Therapist: [talking to Squidward] So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
Squidward: It all started... when I was born.
[The Camera zooms out revealing Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Mrs. Puff, Pearl, Larry, SpongeBob, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]

Episode 9[edit]

Krusty Towers (9.1)[edit]

Patrick: I'd like a Krabby Patty.
Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service!
Patrick: OK! One Krabby Patty and one room... with cheese. Oh, and can I get more cheese on the Krabby Patty too?
Squidward: Patrick, you live 400 yards away. Why would you want to rent a room?
Patrick: Sometimes I need to get away from it all. [rings bell] Wow, this hotel has everything!
Squidward: [takes bell] Gimme that! Now sign the register.
Patrick: I didn't know there would be a test. I DIDN'T STUDY! [cries]
Squidward: Patrick, all you have to do is write your name.
Patrick: Oh, ok. [takes a pen] Do you mind?! [Squidward turns around so Patrick starts writing. Squidward peeks] DON'T LOOK! [Squidward turns around] Done!
[Patrick drew an airplane and himself]
Squidward: Close enough. Here's your room key.
Patrick: I'll need some help with my bags.
Squidward: How could you have bags? You just found out this was a hotel!
Patrick: This is a hotel?
Squidward: [groans] SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward?
Squidward: Take Patrick and his bags to his room.
Patrick: What about my Krabby Patty?
Squidward: And bring him a Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you can take Patrick's bags up to his room. SpongeBob, you go make the Krabby Patty. [he exits]
Squidward: Oh, Mr Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: What's the matter? Afraid of a little manual labor? [mocking Squidward] "I'm Squidward and I have to work for a living. Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo."
Squidward: Fine. Let's go, Patrick. [has struggle with Patrick's bags as he is walking up to the elevator]
Mr. Krabs: This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator!
[Sqidward enters the employee elevator and discovers it's a large flight of steps, Walks up stairs as Patrick gets off the guest elevator]
Squidward: [while carrying Patrick's suitcases] What's in these bags, rocks? [Squidward drops the suitcases, which spring open. Several rocks fall out] Hey, these ARE rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?!
Patrick: I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!
Squidward: Well, here's your room.
Patrick: Wow.
Squidward: Enjoy your stay.
Patrick: Squidward, wait! [takes out a rock from his pocket and gives it to Squidward as a tip] Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.
SpongeBob: Your Krabby Patty, sir. [Squidward attempting to throw the rock that Patrick gave to him as a tip] Hey, Squidward, cool rock.
Patrick: Hold on a second, SpongeBob. [hands SpongeBob a dollar, Squidward makes a surprise face, then scowls] Here you are, my good man.
SpongeBob: Why, thank you, Patrick!
Patrick: There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend [Squidward looks at his rock and becomes frustrated] SQUIDWARD!
Squidward: WHAT NOW?!
Patrick: I don't like crusts on my sandwich.
Squidward: That's a bun, it's all crust! How am I supposed to cut the crust of a bun?
Patrick: Peel it. [Squidward peels the crust off of the Krabby Patty buns]
Squidward: Happy? [Patrick gleefully enjoys his Krabby Patty]
SpongeBob: Room service! Here's the 50 Krabby Patties you ordered.
Patrick: Could you do one more thing for me?
Squidward: Why don't you ask SpongeBob?
Patrick: Good idea, Squidward!
SpongeBob: How may I serve you, sir?
Patrick: I need you to eat these Krabby Patties with me.
SpongeBob: Oh, yes, sir!
[SpongeBob and Patrick begin to eat the Krabby Patties]
Mr. Krabs: Hold on. Squidward! Patrick needs your help.
Squidward: What?! Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs?
Mr. Krabs: He said he didn't want to bother you, but he got over it.
[Squidward is unclogging the toilet when he unclogs SpongeBob]
Patrick: Hooray!
SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward! [Squidward puts him back in the toilet. Patrick flushes]
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, this is ridiculous! Patrick's being completely unreasonable!
Mr. Krabs: He can be as unreasonable as he wants! The plaque, Squidward, the plaque!
Squidward: But Mr. Krabs...
Mr. Krabs: Deny no guests! [phone rings] Why, hello, Patrick. You need Squidward to come up right away? He'll be right there.
[Patrick is having a bath]
Squidward: A BUBBLE BATH?! Why would I give you a bubble bath?!
Patrick: Well, because Mr. Krabs said you would! Well, be sure to make my back extra shiny clean.
Squidward: THAT"S IT! I've had enough!
Patrick: Squidward, wait! The toilet's backed up again!
[Squidward comes out of the guest elevator]
Mr. Krabs: Hey! Hey, you can't take that elevator! You're an employee!
Squidward: [takes off his hat] Not anymore. I quit.
[Squidward throws his uniform on Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Quit? You can't quit.
[Squidward walks out of the Krusty Towers naked]

Squidward: I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You've got to be kidding me!
Squidward: ...And I'd like it here in 5 seconds.
SpongeBob: Yes, sir! [SpongeBob leaves and returns with a Krabby Patty less than 2 seconds] Here you are, sir!
Mr. Krabs: You've got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it!
Squidward: Oh, I'm not going eat it! You are. [hands it to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: What? You're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna eat that--
SpongeBob: Shh! [whispers to Mr. Krabs] That's not 'really' a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings and nose hairs.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I get you boy. [winks] All right, Squidward. [Mr. Krabs bites into the patty, but sticks his tongue out in disgust. On it, there are toenail clippings and nose hairs]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese. [Scene cuts to Patrick's room which is coated with cheese]
Patrick: Hooray!

Squidward: This room is hideous. Redesign it! Neptune XIV would be nice.
Mr. Krabs: What!?
Squidward: "We shall denied a guest, even the most ridiculous request." [Many designs later] Perfect!
Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started!
Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics.

[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]
Mr. Krabs: $15,000!?!
Squidward: You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
Patrick: This is a hospital?
Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
Patrick and SpongeBob: Hooray!
Squidward: Oh, boy...

Mrs. Puff, You're Fired (9.2)[edit]

Sergeant Roderick: [smashes through the door] Hello, worthless students! [SpongeBob shivers in fear] I'm your new instructor. [smashes Mrs. Puff's nametag] No one's ever failed my class, that's lived through it. I can assure you these next four weeks will be the worst years of your miserable lives. Your spines will break, your teeth will ache, your eyes will be bloodshot! [students groan in discomfort] You will drive out of this school in style, or you will be carted out in your granny's handbasket. Everyone will follow the rules of the class. First rule: No talking!
Student #1: [raises hand] Does that mean...?
[Sergeant Roderick grabs student by the head and tosses him through a wooden door]
Sergeant Roderick: -Second rule: No eating in my class. [takes out a box of chocolates] Would anyone care for a bon-bon?
[Pause]
Student #2: Uh, I'll eat one! [raises hand, all other students gasp]
Sergeant Roderick: Pick your favorite. [The student picks up a bon-bon, slurps it up with his tongue and chews] How's it taste?
Student #2: It's a delightful taste sensation.
Sergeant Roderick: [grabs the student by the head and runs forward] NO EATING IN MY CLASSROOM! [throws the student through yet another wooden door] Now, if anyone else is man enough to stay in this class... [all the students flee, laving SpongeBob alone] Looks like you're the man... Sponge!
SpongeBob: I am?

SpongeBob: [crawling on his hands and feet on a driving course then notices a pebble] PEBBLE!! [the pebble gets stuck in SpongeBob's hand] OOOOOW! WOOOOW! [falls onto his butt but keeps accelerating forward, leaving a trail of fire behind him. He flies up a vertical section of road and into the air, continuing to scream out, "OOOOW! WOOOOW!", grasping onto the wrist of the hand with the pebble stuck in it. He falls back down and is caught by his driving instructor. His arm then snaps off, and his body drops the ground]
Sergeant Roderick: I'm ashamed of you, cadet. Tripped up by a wee pebble. [crushes the pebble between thumb and forefinger] What are you supposed to be learning in my class?
SpongeBob: Uh, how to drive, sir?
Sergeant Roderick: Yes, but first, you learn to crawl, then you learn to walk, then you learn to run! But before you learn to walk, you must learn to CRAAAWWL! I WANT YOU TO CRRAAAWWL!!
SpongeBob: SIR, YES, SIR!!

SpongeBob: [after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course] So, heh... how'd I do?
Sergeant Roderick: How'd you do? [lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed] Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this "pedestrian" HOW YOU DID?!

Mrs. Puff: I feel so serene now that I'm finally away from that homicidal maniac, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Step 3 would be... engage blindfold!
Sergeant Roderick: What?! You can't drive a boat with a blindfold, that's illegal!
SpongeBob: But... I can't do it without a blindfold.
Sergeant Roderick: DRIVE, BOY! DRIIIVE! [SpongeBob floors the gas pedal and crashes into a huge canister labeled, "GAS", obliterating the boating school facility in a mushroom-radius explosion. The boat flies into the air and lands on a main road] MAYDAY, MAYDAY! YOU'RE OFF COURSE!

Sergeant Roderick: [grabs Mr. Flitz's shirt collar] I'm going stop this thing! Tell my wife I love her! [jumps onto the hood of the car, then into the air. He lands in front of the boat] COME GET SOOOME!! [The boat plows into the instructor, knocking him away]
SpongeBob: MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN!

SpongeBob: Did I pass?
Mr. Fitz: Well, if there was a "destroy the city" part of the test, you would have.

SpongeBob: Hey, Mrs. Puff. Sorry I'm "unteachable".
Mrs. Puff: It's okay... Mr. Fitz gave me my teaching certificate back... and your dossier was destroyed in the explosion. [trembling voice] So, it's as if you never failed!

Episode 10[edit]

Chimps Ahoy (10.1)[edit]

Patrick: That's "Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick" to you.

Ghost Host (10.2)[edit]

SpongeBob: Squidward, Squidward! [knocking scared the door] Squidward, help! (Spongebob hits Squidward on the face and gets deformed)
Squidward: [with his face deformed angrily] SpongeBob, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't believe in ghosts and I never liked you! [closes door]

Flying Dutchman: Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. [flies back up to his ship] Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. [ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs him and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]
SpongeBob: Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

Episode 11[edit]

Whale of a Birthday (11.1)[edit]

Boys Who Cry: ("It's all about you") It's all about you girl, on your 16th birthday!
Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.
You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!
Yeah, it's all about Pearl! You're the birthday girl!

Karate Island (11.2)[edit]

Episode 12[edit]

All That Glitters (12.1)[edit]

SpongeBob: [while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor] All that glitters is not gold.

Wishing You Well (12.2)[edit]

Mr. Krabs: [upon learning about wishing wells] Suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!

SpongeBob: [singing] Take a penny and some magic, even though your life is tragic.
Squidward: Hey!
SpongeBob: You can throw all your dreams down the well.
Although everyday the pain grows you ride unicorns on rainbows if you throw all your dreams down the well.
When your life's come apart at the seams and you've given up all your dreams, here is just the means to make those dreams come true.
No more suffering, no more sighin', no more pain and no more cryin'.
Squidward: I'm not "cryin'"! [SpongeBob hits him with wand] Ow. Ow.
SpongeBob: When you throw all your dreams down the well.

Plankton: [to wishing well] I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish - nay, my command - is to be taller! Just a little. Just big enough so I can crush my enemies like the vermin they are!

SpongeBob/Patrick: Tag, you're it.

SpongeBob: [singing] Oh, the magic has gone missin' and everyone's still wishin' but their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground.
You'll find magic under rubble so, Patrick, grab a shovel and here is where the magic can be found.
We're at the bottom of a well, but man won't it be swell when we make everyone's wishes all come truuuuee.

Squidward: You're making me claustrophobic.
Note: Claustrophobic's the fear of tight spaces... not Santa Claus.
Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?
SpongeBob: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
Squidward: No, it doesn't!
Patrick: HO, HO, HO!
SpongeBob: Stop it, Patrick! You're scaring him!
Patrick: HO, HO, HO!
Squidward: It's not working, Patrick.
Patrick: Darn it.
Spongebob: Uh, Squidward, you're stepping on my foot.
Squidward: Oh! Sorry, Spongebob.
Patrick: And you got your elbow in my ribs.
Squidward: Ew. [looks down and sees his elbow in a plate of ribs] Patrick!
Patrick: And stop stepping on my potato salad! [pushes Squidward]
Spongebob: Hey, hey, hey, guys.
Squidward: Stop pushing me, Patrick! [pushes him back]
Patrick: Oh, you mean like this? [pushes him]
Squidward: No, like this! [pushes him; the camera pans to SpongeBob as fighting sounds are heard]
SpongeBob: We shouldn't fight in here! This is a magical place. [camera pans to outside the well]
Squidward: Patrick, get off of me! [camera pans back to the bottom of the well, Patrick is sitting on him] I told you I am claustrophobic!
Patrick: Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here!
Squidward: PATRRRIIICCK!!

Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob! This hole's not going to dig itself. [adds to himself] And I'm certainly not going to do it.

Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me to believe in magic, NEVER! Just to prove it to you, I'll demonstrate. [takes out a penny and walks over to the well] I wish I was steamed... and served with a side of melted butter! [laughs as he tosses the penny in]
Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, NOOOOOO!
Mr. Krabs: Well, where's your magic now? [disappears; the camera pans to a steamed crab on a plate] Ohhh, where am I? [a side of melted butter is placed next to the steamed crab] What's going on here? [a man puts on an apron with a picture of a red crab silhouette that reads "THE END"] Uh-oh. [quickly and cautiously] I do believe in magic, I do believe in magic, I do believe in magic! OOOH, NOOOOOO!!

Episode 14[edit]

Bummer Vacation (14.1)[edit]

Patrick: [puts his finger in his head] Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

Patrick: [has just returned to his house after his work shift, only to find that SpongeBob is already under his rock, kneeling in the corner] Huh?
SpongeBob: Who do they think they are? I've given the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like TRASH? I don't think so...
Patrick: [concerned] SpongeBob, is that you?
SpongeBob: [turns to Patrick with a demented look on his face] I've been waiting for you, Patrick! [Patrick gasps as SpongeBob menacingly advances towards him]
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're scaring me! [screams; SpongeBob laughs maniacally as he continues towards Patrick]

Wigstruck (14.1)[edit]

Episode 15[edit]

Squidtastic Voyage (15.1)[edit]

Sandy: [Over the speaker] Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. [The scene returns to her] Now all you have to do is...
[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]
Squidward: Get out of my body! Go!
Patrick: Grow?
[Patrick presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob]
Sandy/Squidward/SpongeBob: No!

That's No Lady (15.2)[edit]

Business fish: Hey! [Patrick looks around confused] Hey, you there!
Patrick: Who, me?
Business fish: Yes, you! GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN! [Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by] Get outta town... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. [Shows a flier for a vacation]

Episode 16[edit]

The Thing (16.1)[edit]

[Back at SpongeBob's house]
SpongeBob: Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. [muffled whimpering from Smelly] Here's your food bowl.
Patrick: And some kibble. [pours in some food]
SpongeBob: You can live here forever and ever. [Smelly cries] Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. [retrieves Gary] Smelly meet Gary. [Gary sticks to Smelly] Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. [Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly] Gary, no! [gets Gary off of Smelly] Gary. [Gary hisses]
Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
SpongeBob: Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
Patrick: Ah! He can come home with me.
SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. [Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down] Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. [opens door] Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. [Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]
Patrick: No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

Hocus Pocus (16.2)[edit]

Episode 17[edit]

Driven to Tears (17.1)[edit]

Announcer: Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
Patrick: Does this mean I win a free keychain?

SpongeBob: Now, you can put this plate on your boatmobile.
Patrick: Oh, I don't the... boatmobile anymore.
SpongeBob: What...?
Patrick: It wasn't working. So, I threw it away. The needle was on E (means empty), so I guess that means "end".

Patrick: Learning tastes good!

Patrick: 58 is like, the luckiest number ever!

Mr. Krabs: [after making SpongeBob man the drive-thru] It's for those people on the open road, living their dreams.
SpongeBob: I used to have a dream.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. [he scurries away as Patrick pulls up to the drive-thru and beeps his horn loudly]
Patrick: The horn still works!

Rule of Dumb (17.2)[edit]

[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]
SpongeBob: Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king.
[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]
Patrick: King needs food badly.
Mr. Krabs: What's this all ab... [gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes] Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
SpongeBob: The king would like...
Mr. Krabs: Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
Patrick: I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
Mr. Krabs: I've got a better idea.
[Cut to a bunch of Krabby Patties and French Fries on the table and Patrick chewing loudly]
Mr. Krabs: A buffet fit for a king.
Patrick: [belches] Tasty.
Mr. Krabs: Listen, Patrick, there comes a time in every man's life when he's got to settle down. You know, get a wife, kids, a father-in-law you give all your money to.
Patrick: Uh-huh, that sounds great. Hey, can I get a little more ketchup?

Episode 18[edit]

Born to be Wild (18.1)[edit]

SpongeBbob: Bikini Bottom, your salvation is here.
Patrick: See? *shows his mouth drooling*
SpongeBob: Uh no Patrick, that's your salavation.

Squidward: Has it ever crossed your mind that you might be getting all worked up over nothing?
SpongeBob: Squidward, when have I ever been known to overreact? [Numerous flashbacks]
SpongeBob: Squidward, we're out of napkins! [cries] Out of napkins!
[SpongeBob is shown banging on Sqidward's door]
SpongeBob: Squidward, I accidentally removed the do not remove under penalty of law tag on my mattress! Hide me! Hide me!
[The next flashback shows nothing but dark]
SpongeBob: Squidward! Squidward, I've gone blind! [Squidward turns the lights on] Oh. Thanks, Squidward.
[Flashbacks end]
Squidward: SpongeBob, you always overreact to everything! It's one of your many annoying traits.
SpongeBob: Me, annoying? [starts laughing annoyingly] Yeah, right.

Mr Krabs: Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
Old Guy: Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

Best Frenemies (18.2)[edit]

Episode 19[edit]

Squid Wood (19.1)[edit]

SpongeBob: How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks & Minnows? Sink The Submarine? Kings & Queens? Mahjong? [Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him] Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
Squidward: It's called, "I will never play with you... EVER!" [throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it] "That scoundrel!"

Mini Squid: Yep, those were the days.
SpongeBob: I guess it's time for you to move on, huh? Onto greener pastures. Arrivederci, mon frere.
Milo: Alright, kid, let's go become a sensation. Oh, and I'll see you at the Clammy Awards. Oh no, I guess I won't. [laughs]
SpongeBob: [Squidward cries] Bye-bye! What's the matter, actual-size Squidward?
Squidward: My dreams are crushed. But, hey, at least I won't see that Mini Squid ever again!
SpongeBob: Yeah, I have something even better! [takes out a mini SpongeBob] Another me! [Mini Sponge and SpongeBob laugh back and forth while Squidward's eye twitches]

Episode 20[edit]

Best Day Ever (20.1)[edit]

SpongeBob: [singing] Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me. Said...
Mr. Sun: [singing] ...It's gonna be a good one, just wait and see!
SpongeBob: Jumped out of bed and I ran outside.
Feeling so extra-ecstatticfied!
It's the best day ever!
Chorus: [singing] Best day ever!
SpongeBob: Hey, Gary.
Gary: Meow. (Why's this the best day ever, SpongeBob?)
SpongeBob: "Why is this the best day ever", you ask? Because, Gary, I get to start this wonderful day bringing life to a whole new generation of delicious Krabby Patties... followed by a vigorous mid-day session of karate with Sandy... and an afternoon jellyfishing with Patrick, where I'll unveil my newest, most prized possession: the Deluxe Jelly Slayer Composite Pro! ...And for the grand finale, every one of my closest friends joining together for Squidward's clarinet recital. I am so excited I think I'm gonna EXPLODE! [explodes into pieces then walks out of his house; singing] It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever! [SpongeBob laughs]

SpongeBob: [singing] My perfect job starts my perfect day. [flips a patty]
Then it's time to kick back, relax and play. [practices karate with Sandy. She kicks him. He land next to Patrick. Jellyfishes comes up in the scene]
Mr. Krabs: That wasn't in the budget!
SpongeBob: Sing along.
Hear that happy sound.
Patrick: [singing] Don't let those sour notes bring you down.
Squidward: Hey!
SpongeBob: That's where it's at! [crashes spotlight]
Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying for that!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Best day ever!
It's the best day ever!
Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Patrick and Squidward: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
Squidward: How long do we have to keep this up?
Mr. Krabs: Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

The Gift of Gum (20.2)[edit]

Robo 2.1: Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]
Patrick: Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift.

Patrick: Oh, that's easy. [chews all the gum up, with lawnmower sounds] I told you it was easy. [tummy rumbles. He hiccups a giant ball of gum and it pops over Bikini Bottom. Gum covers the 4 characters as their shapely figure] Wow! This is the best Best Friends Day ever!

External links[edit]