SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5
- Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Main
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.
- SpongeBob: Why, Mr. Krabs? Why does he hate us so?
- Potty the Parrot: You've got rats in the kitchen!
The Original Fry Cook (2.1)
- Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in there?
- SpongeBob: [comes out of the bathroom in tears] Crying my eyes out...!
- Squidward: Well, hurry up! I gotta cry, too!
- SpongeBob: Why, Squidward?
- Squidward: Because when Jim leaves, I'll be stuck with you again!
Night Light (II.II)
- Mermaid Man: Oh, fiddlesticks SpongeBob, do you know how hard it is... in our advanced age... to move? Don't shine a giant light in the sky unless there's a real emergency.
Rise and Shine (3.1)
- Patrick: I've got to put on my teeth and brush my pants!
- SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, Squidward fixed it. [both run over and hug Squidward] How can we ever thank you?
- Patrick: Yeah, how can we thank you? [giggles]
- Squidward: Move to another neighborhood.
Fungus Among Us (3.3)
- Squidward: No! No, I didn't! It was SpongeBob! He's infected the entire Krusty Krab! [everybody growls and screams]
- Unknown Fish: Let us apprehend that careless contaminator! [All the fish attack SpongeBob, who starts crying, making a huge puddle in his bubble. Outside the Krusty Krab, Gary slithers into the dumpster and eats a can, which he coughs up. His stomach growls as he slithers out]
- Gary: Meow. [sees SpongeBob inside getting attacked by the Krusty Krab fish]
- SpongeBob: [crying] Ohhhh, noo! [the fish body slam SpongeBob's bubble, which make holes that the Ick leaks through] Stop! You're pushing out more of the Ick! [the unknown fish the other fish make a final body slam] NOOOOOOO!!! [All the fish slam into it, and it pops, splattering Fungus all over the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs starts laughing]
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop it! You're tickling me, Squidward!
- Squidward: It's not me, Mr. Krabs!
- SpongeBob: Gary B. Snail! Don't you know it's impolite to feed off of other people without permission? [We see Gary clean the Ick off of Mr. Krabs]
- Mr. Krabs: He's just doing his job, SpongeBob! He's a bottomfeeder, remember? See? The little feller licked me clean! I'm cured and he'll clean the Ick off any surface... even Squid! [Gary sucks the fungi off Squidward, next]
- Nat Peterson: Whoa! Me next!
- Martha Smith: Where are your manners? It's ladies first!
- Patrick: I believe the expression is starfish first.
- Unknown Fish: I supersede all of you! For I have an exotic accent.
- Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, hey! There's no need to fight! Cause I have a solution I'll be happy with. [Later…] Step up to be de-Icked! Only $5! [The first fish steps up, and Gary cleans him]
- Mr. Krabs: Now can I get you a Krabby Patty? [The guy whacks him with his glove]
- Unknown Fish: In the light of today's events, that notion is crass and offensive. [pulls out money] I'll take 2, please.
- Mr. Krabs: Alright! [SpongeBob is next. He hands Krabs the money]
- SpongeBob: Here you go, Mr. Krabs!
- Mr. Krabs: Another $5 for another de-Icking. [Gary cleans SpongeBob off]
- SpongeBob: Look, Gary! You made me all sparkly! You're the best bottom feeder a sponge could ever have!
- Mr. Krabs: Aye, and a great money maker ya are, too. Now, back to work! [Gary burps loudly then he realizes is full, and then smiles]
Spy Buddies (4.1)
- SpongeBob: Good one, Patrick! [both laugh] There's just one thing I don't understand.
- Mr. Krabs: What's that, laddie?
- SpongeBob: That. [points to 2 Patricks laughing beside each other. Goes to black, ending the episode.]
Boat Smarts (4.2)
- SpongeBob: Ah, perfect. [moves from behind Squidward in the road and drives in front of him]
- Squidward: Hey, use your mirrors, fool!
- SpongeBob: Mirrors? Oh, that reminds me. I haven't adjusted this one yet. [adjusts it to where the light in the reflection blinds Squidward]
- Squidward: Ah! I can't see! D'oh! [puts on sunglasses and laughs] AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! [He sees a brick wall and crashes then turns into a live action of a crash test dummy] Ow.
- Fish: [all screaming and talking at once] I can't feel my hair. My leg!
Good Ol' Whatshisname (4.3)
- Squidward: [crazily] His driver's license! [starts laughing] At last! At last and your name is...! [sees his driver's license revealing his original name] ..."Mr. What Zit Tooya"? What kind of ridiculous name is that?
- Mr. What Zit Tooya: It's my ridiculous name! "WHAT ZIT TOOYA"!?.
- Police Cop Fish: [hits Squidward on the head with his baton as he falls down] That's enough of that ballyhoo. [handcuffs Squidward]
- Squidward: But-but-but, I-I-I didn't intentionally do anything wrong.
- Police Cop Fish: Tell it to the judge, lawbreaker. [puts Squidward in the police car as the siren blares and it takes off]
New Digs (5.1)
- Squidward: SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab? Wait a minute, if he's living here, than that means he won't be living next to me! [falling gently] Hoooo. [lands in what appears to be flowers and making a angel formation] Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! [the "flowers" turn out to be pots and pans, Mr. Krabs watches in confusion from the fry cook window]
- Mr. Krabs: [to himself] Hmm, there must be a full moon.
Krabs à la Mode (5.2)
- Squidward: I'm going to go recover from hypothermia.
- Spongebob: Hippo-whatia? What does that mean?
- Mr. Krabs: It means he's a big fat crybaby.
Roller Cowards (6.1)
- Henry's wife: [over speaker] Please wait until the car has come to a complete stop... and STOP CRYING!
- Employee #3: It's over. You can get out now.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: We did it! [both get out and run around in circles]
- SpongeBob: We conquered our fears!
- Patrick: We survived the Fist o' Pain!
- Employee #3: Hey, hold it right there! You forgot these.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Our spines! [grab their spines] Yeah! [when they grab them, they start to wiggle their bodies and then bend them backwards. They laugh]
- SpongeBob: Let's go again!
- Patrick: Yeah!
Bucket Sweet Bucket (6.2)
- Mr. Krabs: You don't really think I'd leave me secret formula behind when I go on vacation, do you?
- Mr. Krabs and Plankton: 'Now stay away from me...'
- Plankton: "...Restaurant, bug." I think we've been through this one before. Allow me to do the honors. [throws himself back at the Chum Bucket] Ahhhhhhh… [lands on the ground with a thud]
- Karen: Oh. Excellent job, genius. You really fixed the place up.
- Plankton: Don't nag me, Karen. I've had a long day.
To Love a Patty (7.1)
- Patrick: I've been replaced by a sandwich!
Breath of Fresh Squidward (7.2)
- Squidward: Do you remember what I told you happens to my brain every time I see you?
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [gasp] Story time!
- SpongeBob: Can I tell it this time Squidward? Pretty please? Whenever Squidward sees us, the storm clouds in his brain roll in and a nasty storm rages. So, Squidward's happy gland is force to take shelter in the recesses of his mind. But the happy gland can't find a recess deep enough, so he gets the flu and has to stay in bed until we leave. [happy gland sneezes]
- Squidward: GOODNIGHT, BIKINI BOTTOM! I LOVE YOU!
Money Talks (8.1)
- Money: [moaning] Spend us, spend us.
- Mr. Krabs: I can't spend all of you. And none of you want to be spent on stuff I want.
- Money: Spend us.
- Mr. Krabs: Ah, you're all shallow and self-absorbed. What did I ever see in you?
- Money: Spend us.
- Mr. Krabs: I'm not listening.
- Money: Spend us.
SpongeBob vs. the Patty Gadget (8.2)
- Patchy: Well, that ends me tale, straight from the book. Now I gotta go and polish me hook!
Slimy Dancing (8.3)
- Tommy's mother: Tommy, I've got a fresh load of laundr-- [screams as she thinks Tommy is having a seizure on the floor] Tommy! Oh! Oh, dear me, no! [dials 911] Hello, it's an emergency! My son! He's--
- Tommy: [scoffs] Mom, calm down. [stops music] I'm just doing "The Cramp".
- Tommy's mother: [hangs up phone] Oh, oh you kids and your crazy dance fads. [laughs and is soon joined by Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward]
- Patrick: Hey, everybody, let's all do "The Cramp"!
- All: Yeah! [Tommy's mother sets up the music. Everybody dances "The Cramp" while SpongeBob and Patrick scream]
The Krusty Sponge (9.1)
- Mr. Krabs: Ay, ay-ay-ay-ay... That's me boy, SpongeBob. That's me boy. [SpongeBob walks in the kitchen as a dollar sign while register rings keep sounding. Cut to a line of fish lined up at The Krusty Krab]
Sing a Song of Patrick (9.2)
- Patrick: I think I wrote a poem once. [flashback to a younger Patrick, whose voice is higher-pitched]
- Young Patrick: [reading from a sheet of paper] A Poem, by Patrick Star. "Roses are blue, violets are red. I have to go to the bathroom." [eats the paper and burps]
- Gym Teacher: How many times I gotta tell ya? This... is... gym class! [blows a whistle, and several dodgeballs are thrown at Patrick]
- Narrator: The next day... [cut to Bigshot Records]
- Lead Singer: ♪--and that's why you're my cookie-wookie teddy bear!♪
- Bassist: I hate my life.
- Keyboardist: I hate your life, too, dude.
- Band Manager: People! We have 17 more songs to finish this hour! Next up is: "I Wrote This" by Patrick Star. [sniffs then holds his nose] Yick. [the Guitarist then takes it]
- Guitarist: This one's really bad! It made my eyeballs throw up.
- Bassist: Oh yeah. [upon looking at it, his eyes shrivel up and turn into dust]
- Band Manager: I don't care how awful his poem is! We spent his 100 bucks already!
- Bassist: Come on, guys. We're going to do this if it kills us. A 1, and a 2 and a-- [cut to the cemetery where the band members are buried]
- Lead singer: [singing Patrick's poem] ♪Twinkle, twinkle, Patrick Star! I made myself a sandwich. My mommy named it Fred. It tastes like beans and bacon. And smells like it's been dead. Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil. Pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point! Pee-yew! what's that horrible smell?♪
- Singer: Drum Solo! [plays drum solo. Wallpaper peels and plants become dead and picture of Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants shakes]
- Lead Singer: ♪I have a head, it ends in a point. pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point!♪ [in their picture, Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants get annoyed and Mrs. SquarePants turns the picture over] ♪This song is over, except for this line, you win this round, broccoli!♪ [the song ends as SpongeBob's house peels and the stereo crashes on top of SpongeBob and Patrick]
A Flea In Her Dome (10.1)
- Patrick: I miss Sandy so much! Her tentacles, the way she plays clarinet, her massive nose--
- SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, that's Squidward. He's not gone, he's right here! [camera pans to Squidward planting a flower in the ground]
- Squidward: No, I'm not. [walks away]
The Donut Of Shame (10.2)
- Patrick: Where am I? What happened? Oh yeah, the party. I must have passed out in SpongeBob's kitchen... on the ceiling. See, SpongeBob? I told you we shouldn't stay up past 8:30, things get real crazy after 8:30. [has a flashback of last night's tea party] She really knows how to pound 'em down huh, SpongeBob... SpongeBob? [notices SpongeBob snoring with a donut in his hand] That's a good lookin' donut.
The Krusty Plate (10.3)
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's the meaning of this? [SpongeBob inspects a plate and then notices a spot]
- SpongeBob: [screams] Spot, spot, spot!
- Mr. Krabs: That's right, a spot. You know the rule. Nobody leaves work till...
- SpongeBob: ...till everything's ship-shape, sir. Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I'll get this plate cleaned up in a jiffy.
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, and, uh, lock up when you're done.
- SpongeBob: Lock up? Wait, Mr. Krabs. Don't you remember what happened last time you left me here alone? [flashback when the Krusty Krab is on fire]
- Mr. Krabs: Should've never left you alone with a lit blow torch and me roller skates. But, since I've removed all the welding equipment from the premises, there's no-ho-ho chance of that happenin' again, right? Now, get to work.
Goo Goo Gas (11.1)
- Plankton: [back at the Chum Bucket, talking to Karen] …And then that blasted sponge called the cops! That's just not cricket. [pouts] Now I'll never be a tyrannical overlord.
- Karen: Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Next time, spray SpongeBob, too.
- Plankton: Not sure.
- Karen: Listen carefully. Spray...
- Plankton: Yes.
- Karen: ...Sponge...
- Plankton: Uh-huh.
- Karen: ...Bob...
- Plankton: Right.
- Karen: ...Too!
- Plankton: Now, you're just talking gibberish. What I really need is to spray Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob.
- Karen: That's just what I…
- Plankton: I don't wanna hear all your loony schemes, Karen. I've got work to do!
Le Big Switch (11.2)
- Squidward: You sold me?!?
- Mr. Krabs: No! Bartered is more like it. They keep you, I keep my kneecaps.
- Man who's holding Squidward: Come on, mac! [takes him away]
- Squidward: You're pathetic!
Picture Day (13.1)
- SpongeBob: Cheese. [picture is taken. Later at home] There I am. [looking at his yearbook] Hey, I don't look so bad after all! :[everyone in the book is smiling like SpongeBob]
Pat No Pay (13.2)
- Mr. Krabs: [gasps] NON-PAYING CUSTOMER!
Blackened Sponge (14.1)
Mermaid Man vs. SpongeBob (XIV.II)
- Kids: [chanting] We want Mermaid Man! We want Barnacle Boy! [kids throw Squidward into the window, which solidly flattens and Squidward slides away. The kids chant some more while throwing stuff around] We want Mermaid Man! We want Barnacle Boy! We want Mermaid Man!
- Mr. Krabs: Uh, hey, kids? [The kids stop chanting] Uh, well, there's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... in the ballroom. [all the kids run inside the ballroom and Mr. Krabs closes the door behind them to keep them inside] SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob: [He jogs over] Yes, sir.
- Mr. Krabs: Go get those AWOL do-gooders you talked me into hirin', and bring their patoots back here on the double!
- SpongeBob: Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs. [He runs off-screen]
- Mr. Krabs: [Grabs a broom] Back, you! Back! [the broom he was using to keep the kids back is eaten. The scene changes to Shady Shoals Rest Home where all of the fish are either running away or hiding in fear of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's destruction of the place. SpongeBob enters the building]
The Inmates of Summer (15.1)
- Camp Counselor: [to Prisoner #6] Oh, that is very good, Bruiser! [We see others complaining and crying. SpongeBob and Patrick sigh. They both say each other's names at the same time]
- SpongeBob: You first.
- Patrick: I... I like the other island better!
- SpongeBob: ME TOO! [Both start crying uncontrollably]
To Save a Squirrel (15.2)
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [approaching Sandy] Eat or be eaten!
- Sandy: Uh-oh! Next time, I'll bring more granola!
- Pecos Patrick: Oh, hey SpongeBuck! Those guys are a barrel of laughs, huh? But lazy! Anyway, you've got to get back and save the town, sheriff!
- SpongeBuck: I ain't no sheriff. Or fry cook or even coffin jockey, and I'm no match for Dead Eye Plankton! I'm nothing. [Pecos Patrick slaps him]
- Pecos Patrick: Out west, a man gets right back up on his coffin and faces his problems with the help of his idiot sidekick friend! That's me! [Shows a badly drawn picture of Pecos Patrick] Duhhh...
- SpongeBuck: I don't know. [slaps him again] Okay, okay! I'll do it! Just stop hurtin' me! Besides, you're right! It's time I stepped up and looked him in the eye! So, I'll go back to Dead Eye Gulch, whip Plankton, and save the town at high noon!
- Pecos Patrick: Hop on, buddy!
- SpongeBuck: Thanks, idiot friend! But I don't know how we'll ever get back to Dead Eye Gulch by high noon.
- Pecos Patrick: Don't worry. I got a short-cut. He-ya! [Starts riding coffin, rides over a cliff, both land on a cactus, both start flying toward Dead Eye Gulch]
- Pecos Patrick: So, what are we gonna sing about, SpongeBuck?
- SpongeBuck: We're gonna sing a song about friends!
- Pecos Patrick: What kind of friends, SpongeBuck?
- SpongeBuck: Well, listen up and I'll tell you! ♪Who's there for you when you are sad and down?♪
- Buffalo skulls: ♪Idiot Friends!♪
20,000 Patties Under the Sea (17.1)
- SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs! [sounding flirtatious] Bye, Squidward.
- Patrick: You said "Bye Squidward" twice.
- SpongeBob: I like Squidward.
The Battle of Bikini Bottom (17.2)
- Squidward: [to Mr. Krabs] Did you get any of Patrick's "gold"?
- Mr. Krabs: He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for!
- SpongeBob: Isn't life great, Gary? Oh, what a beautiful day. I have the best friends... [cut to Squidward's house]
- Squidward: Ah, stay away! Oh, another SpongeBob nightmare.
- SpongeBob: The best job... [at the Krusty Krab]
- Mr. Krabs: He's already 10 seconds late. I'm docking him a month's pay for this.
- SpongeBob: ...And, of course, the bestest pet.
- Gary: Meow. [SpongeBob squeezes Gary in a hug, which causes Gary's shell to break. SpongeBob runs out of his house]
- SpongeBob: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! [runs into Patrick]
The Two Faces of Squidward (19.1)
- SpongeBob: Squidward...
- Squidward: SpongeBob...?
- SpongeBob: You're back! Oh, Squidward... I love you no matter how many times we smash your face.
- Squidward: Almost wish that meant something. [crowd leaves after seeing Squidward not handsome anymore]
- Mr. Krabs: Hey, where you going? Don't leave me! Please, I'm beggin' ya! Look. I can make him handsome again. Watch! [slams the door on Squidward's face repeatedly] See? [slam!] He's getting handsome. It just takes a little-- [slam!] --Effort, just a little-- [slam!] --Elbow grease. Please! Come back!!
- Patrick: I'm sorry, SpongeBob, but you've become a negative influence!
Banned in Bikini Bottom (20.1)
- Miss Priss: That was wonderful! I... I feel... reborn!
- SpongeBob: Does that mean you're not sending us to the Slammer?
- Miss Priss: Of course, my dear boy. I'm a kind, gentle fish. And I owe it all to you.
- SpongeBob: Don't forget the spatula! [Mr. Krabs, Miss Priss, Al, and others laugh. Al goes towards Miss Priss]
- Miss Priss: Don't push it, Al.
- Plankton: [lifts bun from a Krabby Patty] Darn it! Argh! Once again, so close and yet so far! When am I gonna-- Oh! [He hides in the patty as Miss Priss picks it up]
- Miss Priss: Well, I think I'll have another one. [bites it, revealing Plankton]
- Plankton: Oh dear. [He screams as Miss Priss goes for a second bite. A "The End" card is shown and a gulp sound can be heard]
Stanley S. SquarePants (20.2)
- SpongeBob: Good luck on your new job, cousin Stanley!
- Stanley: Thanks! I bet I'll be even better in this one!
- Plankton: Good morning, Mr. SquarePants!
- Stanley: Morning, boss.
- Plankton: I can't believe it! That fool Krabs hiring the blood relative of his best worker! [Mr. Krabs watches as the Chum Bucket explodes] Well, that's the end of me.
- Stanley: Sorry, boss.