The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

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Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 (Main) | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Spin-offs: Kamp Koral / The Patrick Star Show

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie is a 2004 animated film based on the Nickelodeon television series SpongeBob SquarePants, on November 19, 2004. The film's titular protagonist, as in the TV series, is SpongeBob SquarePants. He and his best friend Patrick Star embark on a journey to save King Neptune's crown and rescue Bikini Bottom from the evil clutches of Sheldon J. Plankton.

Directed and written by Stephen Hillenburg.

SpongeBob SquarePants[edit]

  • [speaking into a microphone] But that's OK. [Plankton: What? What's going on?] Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back!
  • [repeated line; walking to the grand opening ceremony of the Krusty Krab 2] I'm ready, promotion!
  • I believe that…EVERYBODY I KNOW IS A GONER!!!

Sheldon J. Plankton[edit]

  • Ding-a-ling! Hey there, old buddy. Freeze! [laughs] 1 secret formula to go, please. No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll get it. [goes to the kitchen and walks out with the Secret Formula] Well, I'd like to hang around, but I've got Krabby Patties to make… over at the Chum Bucket. Plan Z, I love you! [leaves]
  • Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. HE'S A VICIOUS COLD-BLOODED PREDATOR!
  • [last words] I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!!!


  • Sesame seed.
  • The name's Dennis, and I've been hired to exterminate you.
  • Don't worry. This will only hurt a lot! [laughs] I love this job!
  • [last words] THAT'S IT! I'm through messing around! See ya later, fools! Huh? [screams as he gets hit by a boat]

David Hasselhoff[edit]

  • I can take you there.
  • [SpongeBob: Who are you?] I'm David Hasselhoff.
  • [SpongeBob: Um, so where's your boat?] "Boat"? [laughing]
  • OK, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom is directly below.
  • Who said anything about floating?
  • [after launching SpongeBob and Patrick back to Bikini Bottom] You've done good, Hasselhoff. You've done- [The ray from Neptune's trident zaps him, but he survives, now cinched] Ow.


[Seagulls flying across the sky. On a look-out post, a pirate looks through a telescope. He moves upward to get a better look at something. The screen shows the view in the telescope of another pirate on a dinghy with a treasure chest on it]
Pirate 1: [first lines] I got it! I got it! I got it!
Pirate 2: [squints] Dinghy ahoy. [looks down to tell his friends] Dinghy off the port bow. Dinghy off the port bow!
Pirate 3: Dinghy off the port bow!
Pirates: [off-screen] Dinghy off the port bow!
Pirate 4: Captain, dinghy off the...
[He is slammed in the face by a door as the captain walks on deck]
Captain Bart: Dinghy.
[The captain, as he pushes through, signals to his friends to let the pirate in the dinghy onto the ship, along with the chest]
Pirate 1: I got it! I got it.
Captain Bart: Where is it?
Pirate 1: It's right here, captain.
[They open the chest as gold light illuminates the captain's face]
Captain Bart: I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. [Excitedly, he holds tickets] Tickets to The SpongeBob Movie!
[The pirates cheer]

[The movie starts out on Bikini Atoll Island]
French Narrator: Ah, the sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So... uhh... wet. [The camera submerges underwater until it stops in front of the Krusty Krab] Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery, the Krusty Krab restaurant, where...
[A cop pops up in front of the camera]
Police: Back up! Back up!
[He waves arms to back reporters and citizens up]
French Narrator: Hey, wait a minute. What is happening?!
[The screen pans out to show the Krusty Krab is surrounded by cops. A red crab chats to news reporters]
Eugene Harold Krabs: Please, settle down! We've got a situation in there! I'd rather not discuss 'til the manager gets here!
Female Fish: [off-screen] Look, there he is!
[A black boat with orange flames drives up. A yellow leg in a black boot with an orange snake on it in the shape of an "S," steps out of the vehicle. With a stern look, a yellow sea sponge climbs out of the boat. He walks toward the Krusty Krab and blows a bubble]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Talk to me, Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, it started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese.
SpongeBob: And then what went wrong?
Mr. Krabs: When the customer took a bite, no cheese!!
[He cries, but SpongeBob slaps his face]
SpongeBob: Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. I'm going in. [Furrowing his brow, SpongeBob walks into the restaurant. Inside, a fish sits at a table, looking extremely nervous at his Krabby Patty. He looks at the door as SpongeBob enters] Take it easy, my friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. [He sets a briefcase down on the table] Everything's gonna be just fine.
Phil: I'm really scared here, man.
SpongeBob: [opens the briefcase and takes out black gloves, putting them on] Do you got a name?
Phil: Phil.
SpongeBob: Do you got a family, Phil? [Phil whimpers. Choking over his words, he is unable to speak. SpongeBob snaps his fingers at him in order to get his attention] Come on, Phil, stay with me. Let's hear about that family.
Phil: I got a wife and 2 beautiful children.
SpongeBob: [puts on a headset] That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Phil.
Phil: What?
[With tweezers, SpongeBob picks a slice of cheese out from his briefcase]
SpongeBob: Say "cheese". [As SpongeBob lifts the top bun off, each glimps show a close-up of his determined look, the tweezers with the cheese, and Phil watching. Sweat drips down SpongeBob's face. Later, he kicks open the door with his foot. The crowd gasps. SpongeBob has Phil, who is smiling, in his arms. The cheese on the Krabby Patty sparkles] Order up.
[The crowd cheers and lift SpongeBob on their shoulders]
Crowd: 3 cheers for the manager!
[As the crowd each say "Hip! Hip!", a foghorn is heard out of their mouths. SpongeBob looks confused. The scene changes to SpongeBob in his bedroom with his pet snail is blue and green. SpongeBob turns off his alarm clock]
SpongeBob: Hooray! Gary, I had that dream again. [runs over to a calendar] And it’s finally going to come true! Today! Sorry about this calendar. [He tears off the calendar page for the day before to reveal "March 7." On the page, it has a picture of the Krusty Krab 2 with rainbows and hearts around it] Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager.
Garold "Gary" Wilson Junior the Snail: Meow.
SpongeBob: Who's it gonna be, Gary? [chuckles] Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards.
[The camera pulls away from SpongeBob and Gary to reveal many "employee of the month" portraits]
SpongeBob "Employee of the Month" Awards: SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob: I'm ready, promotion!

[In another house shaped like an Moai head, a pale turquoise squid, takes a shower in the bathroom while singing. Behind him, using a brush, SpongeBob scrubs his back also while singing]
Squidward J. Q Tentacles: [covering himself with a shower curtain] Ah! SpongeBob, what are you doing in here?!
SpongeBob: I have to tell you something, Squidward.
Squidward: Whatever it is, can't we wait until we get to work?
SpongeBob: There's no shower at work.
Squidward: What do you want?!
SpongeBob: I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
Squidward: [offscreen; yelling] GET OUT!
[With his foot seen through the window, Squidward angrily kicks SpongeBob out of his house]
SpongeBob: Okay. I'll see you at the ceremony.
[He runs into his best friend, a pink starfish, who comes out of his rock]
Patrick Star: That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2. [notices he doesn't have his trunks on] Oops. Hold on. [Rock closes, with Patrick on it. Then it opens again with Patrick wearing his shorts] Congratulations, buddy.
SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're going to party 'till we're purple!
Patrick: I love being purple!

[Mouse-sized Sheldon J. Plankton watches from a telescope the interview of the Krusty Krab 2]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Curses! It's not fair! Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had 1 customer! [groans and strains]
Karen Plankton: Don't get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors.

SpongeBob: [as he accidentally steps on Plankton] Eww! I think I stepped in something. [SpongeBob drags his foot on the ground as if trying to get green stuff off while Plankton screams in pain]
Plankton: Not "in something", "on someone", you twit!
SpongeBob: Oh. Sorry, Plankton. [peals Plankton off of the sole of his shoe] Are you on your way to the grand opening ceremony?
Plankton: No, I'm not on my way over to the grand opening ceremony. I'm busy on planning to rule the world! [laughs]
SpongeBob: Well, good luck with that.

[In the crowd, a pufferfish, sits besides a land squirrel]
Mrs. Poppy Puff: We paid $9 for this?
Sandra"Sandy" Jennifer Olivia Cheeks: I paid 10!

Anchovy: Dork?
Mr. Krabs: No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork.
Pearl Krabs: A goofball?
Mr.Krabs: Closer, but no.
Yellow-orange fish: A ding-a-ling!
Purple-shirt fish: Wingnut!
Old woman: A knucklehead Mcspazatron!
Mr. Krabs: OK, that's enough!

Plankton: [chuckles, flying on his jet-pack] Time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting at the undersea castle of King Neptune.
[Plankton chuckles again as he flies inside and hides behind a royal fish's foot. A squire plays his trumpet as King Neptune and his daughter Princess Mindy sit down on their thrones. Neptune bunks the squire's head with his trident to remind him of something]
Squire: Oh, right. [clears throat] The royal court is now in session. Bring the prisoner forward.
[Some guards bring up the crown polisher "prisoner" up as he shakes nervously]
King Neptune: So, you have confessed to the crime of touching the king's crown?
Crown polisher: Y-Y-Yes, but-
Neptune: [angrily yells in his face] BUT WHAT!?!?
Crown polisher: B-But it's my job, your highness. I-I'm the royal crown polisher.
Neptune: Well... then, I guess I can't execute you. 20 years in the dungeon, it is.
Princess Mindy: Daddy! [frees the polisher] You're free to go.
Crown polisher: Bless you, Princess Mindy. [runs away]
Neptune: Mindy! How dare you defy me?! (Shame on you!)
Mindy: Why do you have to be so mean?
Neptune: I am the king! I must enforce for the laws of the sea!
Mindy: Father, I wish you'd try a little love and compassion instead of these harsh punishments.
Squire: That would be nice.
Neptune: [bunks the squire again] Squire! Clear the room! I wish to speak to my daughter, alone. [everybody else leaves, while Neptune shows Mindy his crown] What is this, Mindy?
Mindy: Your… crown?
Neptune: And what does this crown do?
Mindy: Covers your bald spot.
Neptune: It's not bald! It's thinning. [puts his crown on a stool and looks in a mirror] This crown does much more than just cover a slightly receding hairline. No, this crown entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of the sea.
Plankton: [peeks from behind Neptune's crown, snickering evilly, ready to steal it]
Neptune: 1 day, you will wear this crown.
Mindy: [alarmed] I'm gonna be bald!?
Neptune: Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it until you learn to rule with iron fist, like your father. [reaches for his crown, but put on the stool pillow instead]
Mindy: Uh, Dad? Your "crown".
Neptune: [notices the pillow on his head] What the-? [looks at the stool, with his crown gone!] MY CROWN!!!! [screams in horror] Someone has stolen the royal crown!
Plankton: [flies away with Neptune's crown] I got it! I got it! [laughs]

SpongeBob: [seemingly drunk on ice cream] This next song goes out to my best friends in the whole world: Patrick and this big peanut guy! It's a little ditty called...
SpongeBob and Patrick: WAITER!

Neptune: Greetings, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May he present himself to me at once.
Mr. Krabs: I am Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. Would you like to order something?
Neptune: NAY!!! I'm onto you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny! For, clever as you are, you left 1 damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime! [shows him a fake note that Plankton made to frame him]
Mr. Krabs: "I stole your crown, signed [eyes widen] EUGENE KRABS"?!
Neptune: Relinquish the royal crown to me AT ONCE! [points his burning trident at Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: B-But, this is crazy! I didn't do it!
Answering Machine: [with Krabs' voice] Ahoy! This is Eugene Krabs! Leave a message.
Clay: Hi, Mr. Krabs, this is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to? Yeah. I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Neptune's crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City and, uh, I just wanted to say thanks again for selling the crown. Neptune's crown… [Krabs tries to stop the machine by breaking it but it continues to play, as Neptune boils with rage. Krabs rips the phone from the cord but the phone still works for a brief moment] …which is now in Shell City. Goodbye.
Mr. Krabs: [chuckles nervously] Eh-heh-heh. Eh, d-don't you just hate wrong numbers…?
Neptune: MY CROWN IS IN THE FORBIDDEN SHELL CITY?!?!?!?!?! [screaming]
Plankton: [appears on the other end of the phone] Plan Z, I love Plan Z!
Neptune: PREPARE TO BURN, KRABS! [lights his trident]
Mr. Krabs: Wait, Neptune! Please, I'm beggin' ya! I ain't a crook! Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me!
Neptune: Very well, then. [to the other fishes] Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fish-meal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
SpongeBob: [still drunk; burps] I got something to say about mister [burps] Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy, oh, you've come just in time!

SpongeBob: I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Mr. Krabs over.
Neptune: Quiet, fool! Mr. Krabs stole my crown and now it's in Shell City. That's why he must die.
SpongeBob: Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
Neptune: You don't understand! My crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And, uh, between you and me, my hair is thinning a bit...
SpongeBob: Oh, your highness, I'm sure it's not that noticab- [Neptune takes off the paper bag from his shiny head revealing an insanely blinding glow] —aaaald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
Crowd: Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
Fred: [eyes sizzling] MY EYES!
Neptune: [puts the bag back on] Alright, alright.
SpongeBob: Uh... King Neptune, sir? Would you spare Mr. Krabs' life if I went to get your crown back?
Neptune: YOU, go to Shell City?! [his eyes bulge out of his head as he laughs, then goes back to normal] No one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned! What makes you think you could? You're just a kid.

Neptune: Very well, Mindy. I'll give him a chance. But, when your little "champion" fails to return, I get to splatter this crab all over the wall!
Mr. Krabs: Huh?
Neptune: [to SpongeBob] And as for you, be back with my crown in exactly 10 days!
Patrick: [appears out of nowhere] He can do it in 9!
Neptune: 8!
Patrick: 7!
Neptune: 6!
SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Patrick! [tackle him]
Neptune: 6 it is, then!
[Krabs chokes Patrick]
Patrick: 5...
SpongeBob: Patrick, shush!
Neptune: Until then, the crab shall remain frozen where he now stands! [points his trident at Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: No, wait, I'm begging ya! [Neptune freezes him]
Squidward: Who turned on the A.C.? Aah! Mr. Krabs! [knocks on him 3 times] Oh, no! This is terrible! Who's going to sign my paycheck?
Neptune: Come along, Mindy.
Mindy: [to SpongeBob and Patrick] Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers, and monsters everywhere! And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops who guards the outskirts of the city, and preys on innocent sea creatures! Don't let him catch you. Because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again!
Patrick: [infatuated] She's pretty, SpongeBob.
Mindy: [shows SpongeBob and Patrick a bag] Here, take this.
SpongeBob: What's in here? [opens the bag and wind blows into his face]
Mindy: It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.
Patrick: You're hot.
Mindy: Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds, and you'll be blown back home.

Plankton: Ding-a-ling! Hey there, old buddy. Freeze! [laughs] 1 secret formula to go, please. No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll get it. [takes the formula] Well, I'd like to hang around, but I've got krabby patties to make... over at the Chum Bucket. Plan Z, I LOVE ya! [laughs]

[SpongeBob and Patrick arrive at a gas station]
SpongeBob: Fill 'er up, please.
Floyd: What'll it be, fella? Mustard or ketchup? [Floyd and Lloyd slap their legs and laugh]
Patrick: Are they laughing at us?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, they're laughing next to us. [Floyd and Lloyd walk up, still laughing]
Floyd: What are you two dumb kids headed, anyway?
Patrick: Kids?!
SpongeBob: Now, Patrick. For your information, we're not kids, we're men, and we're off to get King Neptune's crown in Shell City.
Floyd and Lloyd: Shell City?!
Lloyd: Isn't that the place that's guarded by a killer Cyclops?
SpongeBob: That's right.

Perch Perkins: Excuse me, Plankton. Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom news. Can I get a minute?
Plankton: Anything for you, Perch.
Perch: All of Bikini Bottom wants to know, how did you get the krabby patty?
Plankton: Well, Perch, before my dear friend, Eugene Krabs, was frozen by King Neptune... [whimpers] I'm sorry. He confided me a secret wish. "Sell the krabby patties in my absence at the Chum Bucket," he said. "Don't let the flame die out." [fake sobs; takes a bucket helmet out] By the way, act now, and you get a free Chum Bucket bucket helmet with every purchases. [puts it on Perch's head] Here ya go, Perch.
Perch: Thanks.

Plankton: Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. HE'S A VICIOUS, COLD-BLOODED PREDATOR!!!!!
[Elsewhere, a green fish rides a motorcycle. The word "Dennis", hence his name, is written on the back of his leather vest. A license plate on the back of the motorcycle reads, "I Kill U". His boot reads, "Your Head Here", with an arrow pointing to the sole. Dennis stops at the gas station. He picks up a sesame seed, and takes off his sunglasses, revealing another pair]
Dennis: Sesame seed.
Floyd: Hey, mister, does that hat take 10 gallons?
[Floyd and Lloyd smack their knees and laugh more. With his shadow looming over them, Dennis stomps over to them and rip off their mouths. The two mouthless gas attendants look at each other as Dennis drives away]

Victor: HEY! Who blew this bubble?! [to all his fellow thugs] You all know the rules!
Thugs: [in unison] All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.
Victor: That's right! So, who blew it?! [from inside the bathroom, SpongeBob and Patrick frantically popped all the bubbles] So, nobody knows?
Thug: Maybe it was...
Victor: SHUT UP!

Squidward: So, you're selling krabby patties, eh, Plankton?
Plankton: That's right, Squidward. And there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?
Squidward: No! You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.
Plankton: What's that suppose to mean?
Squidward: It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown, so Neptune would freeze him, and you could finally get your stubby, little paws on the krabby patty formula. [Plankton looks at his hands] It was YOU all along! But you've made 1 fatal mistake! You've messed with MY paycheck. And I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!
Plankton: We'll see about that, inspector loose-lips. [laughs, and pushes a button on Karen]
Karen: Now, activating helmet brain-control devices.

Patrick: [driving] Hey, look, free ice cream! [turns sharp left]
SpongeBob: Oh, boy! [runs out through boneyard to get ice cream]
Patrick: [to a skull on the ground] How you doing? [suddenly looks alarmed] Wait a minute. Wait a minute! SPONGEBOB!
SpongeBob: Yeah?
Patrick: Make mine a chocolate!
SpongeBob: OK, gotcha covered.

SpongeBob: What kind of old lady are you?! Eww!
[A red monstrous frogfish reveals itself from the ground. SpongeBob screams and bites off the old lady's left arm, falls down]
Patrick: [catches SpongeBob in the Patty Wagon] Did you get the ice cream?
[The frogfish roars]

[Elsewhere, Dennis stops at the Thug Tug. Stepping off his motorcycle, he sees soap on one of the footprints from SpongeBob's shoe. He lowers his bandana, revealing his mouth. A scar is on his left cheek]
Dennis: Hmm…
[He blows on the soap as a bubble forms. An image of SpongeBob and Patrick laughing appear in it]
Victor: [offscreen] Hey! [Victor and the other thugs are behind Dennis] You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a rule around here about blowing bubbles.
[Victor snaps his fingers]
Thugs: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by-- [Having no time for this, Dennis punches Victor, causing him to fly into the air. Victor screams as he flies into the Thug Tug as the other thugs watch] …every… able-bodied… patron… in the… bar.
[Victor crashlands into the Thug Tug, which tilts back quickly and sinks off over a cliff. Dennis drives away on his motorcycle as the thugs watch him in fear]

SpongeBob: Mindy!
Patrick: Mindy?! [struggles to put his pants back on]
SpongeBob: How much did you hear?
Mindy: I heard enough.
Patrick: Did you see my underwear?
Mindy: No, Patrick.
Patrick: Did you want to?
Mindy: Look, you may be kids, but you're the only ones left who can get that crown.
SpongeBob: What do you mean, the only ones left?
Mindy: Things have gotten a lot worse since you left Bikini Bottom. [takes out a magical clam shell, opens it, revealing Bikini Bottom, now being ruled by Plankton] Or should I say… Planktopolis.

Mindy: [after making SpongeBob and Patrick into "men"] So now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?!
Mindy: Are men afraid of anything?
Both: HECK NO!
Mindy: And why?
Both: BECAUSE WE'RE INVINCIBLE! [they jump off a cliff]
Mindy: [yelling down to them] I NEVER SAID THAT!

[While singing "Now That We're Men" after making it to the outskirts of Shell City, SpongeBob and Patrick stop to see Dennis who managed to get there before them and waits for them]
Dennis: Finally! [cracks his knuckles] I gotcha right where I want you.
SpongeBob: Uh, can I help you with something, sir?
Dennis: The name is Dennis, and I've been hired to exterminate you.
SpongeBob: You're gonna exterminate us? [At a brief pause, SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other for a moment… then laugh] Listen, junior, you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
Dennis: You mean, these? [rips off the fake mustaches off of SpongeBob and Patrick's faces. The duo feel their cheeks with wide eyes] I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime.
[Dennis flicks the seaweed. SpongeBob and Patrick gasp. In slow-motion, the seaweed tumble in the air. The seaweed land on the ground as SpongeBob and Patrick look at them with bug-eyes]
SpongeBob: They were fake?
Dennis: Of course, they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like.
[He lowers his bandana, and as he grits his teeth, a bushy mustache appears on his face]
Patrick: Is he a mermaid?
Dennis: Alright, enough gap.
[As SpongeBob and Patrick tremble in fear, Dennis looms over them]
SpongeBob: What are you gonna do to us?
Dennis: Plankton was very specific.
SpongeBob: Plankton?!
Dennis: For some reason, he wanted me to step on you.
Patrick: Step on us?
Dennis: Yeah, that way you'll never find out that he stole the crown! [SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other in confusion. With an embarrassed look on his face, Dennis rubs the back of his neck] Uh, perhaps I've said too much. (Anyway.)
[SpongeBob and Patrick cower in fear as spikes pop out of the soles of Dennis's boots. He lifts one, and looms it over them]
Patrick: That's a big boot!
Dennis: Don't worry. This will only hurt a lot! [laughs maniacally] I love this job!
[As Dennis continues to laugh, an extremely large boot stomps on top of him]
Patrick: Bigger boot! [tries to run away, but SpongeBob stops him]
SpongeBob: Wait, Pat, this bigger boot saved our lives.
Patrick: Yay!
Both: Thank you, stranger!
[They look up to see a giant scuba diver-like monster, breathing heavily]
SpongeBob: Uhh, stranger? [The scuba diver looks down at them with his hands open] It's the Cyclops!
[The duo run off as the Cyclops slowly walks, chasing them]

[At Shell City, the Cyclops has put SpongeBob and Patrick in a fish bowl. The duo turn around and see him, then scream as then run wildly as the Cyclops laughs maniacally, and they hit the walls of the glass bowl, then bump into each other as the Cyclops walks off]
SpongeBob: What's he gonna do with us? [The Cyclops picks up a toolbox] Oh, no! He's going for his evil instruments of torture! [The Cyclops opens the box and takes out a bottle of glue and a jar, containing googly eyes] Glue? Googly eyes? [whimpering] [The Cyclops hums as he glues some googly eyes on a dead clam] He's making a humorous diorama of… [The Cyclops finishes his diorama] Alexander Clam Bell?! Patrick, he's killing sea animals and making them into smelly knick-knacks! And I think we're next!
Patrick: You think so?

SpongeBob: [as the Cyclops puts him and Patrick on a table under a lamp] The heat is so intense from this lamp, that I can't move.
Patrick: Tell me about it.
[The Cyclops laughs maniacally. He takes a book and walks to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him]

[As the lamp dries SpongeBob and Patrick up completely after they spot King Neptune's crown, leaving a heart-shaped tear, the pirates and crowd sadly watch and cry]
Captain Bart: That's it. The end of SpongeBob. [voice breaking] Come here, you!
[As the captain hugs one of the pirates, a parrot flies over and lands on his shoulder]
Parrot: [squawking] Shut up and look at the screen!
[The captain looks at the screen with a surprised expression]
Captain Bart: Argh! The bird's right. Look! It be the tear of the Goofy Goobers!
[The heart-shaped tear, due to both of the tears, trembles and come together to form a big tear. It slides down a cord. The tear pokes through the outlet, causing it to spark. The light from the heat lamp turns off, and smoke rises to a sprinkler. More sprinklers spray water around the room. The spraying water brings the dried-up SpongeBob and Patrick back to life as they gasp and breathe in]
SpongeBob: Hey, we're alive!
[The pirates and crowd cheer]
SpongeBob: Let's get that crown!
Patrick: Right!
[The duo grabs hold of the crown]
SpongeBob: On 3, Patrick. Ready? 1, 2, 3! [the crown lifts] Hey, it's lighter that I thought. Whoa!
[The Cyclops is actually holding it by the top, causing SpongeBob and Patrick to scream]
Cyclops: [pumping a fist] Roar!
[Suddenly, the gift shop starts to shake like an earthquake]
All: Huh?
[Knick-knack seahorses tremble]
Cyclops: Huh?
[As the modeled creatures begin to tremble and shake, the Cyclops looks around]
Patrick: What's happening?
SpongeBob: I don't know! [suddenly surprised] Look!
[All around the room, the creatures come to life, each one at a time, even 3 fishes playing Mariachi instruments who play Jarabe Tapatio]
Cyclops: [looking around] Huh? What? Huh? [As the Cyclops watch more creatures come to life, they growl angrily at him. A lobster taps on the back of the Cyclops's helmet, giving his attention. He turns to face it] Huh? [From the Cyclops's point of view, the lobster reveals the glue bottle and jar of googly eyes] Uh-oh. [The lobster squirts glue into the Cyclops's eye, causing him to fall back] Whoa!
[As the Cyclops collapses hard on the floor, the creatures leap and fall to attack him. The Mariachi Band fish shrug as if saying "Oh well", then continue playing. The Cyclops is pinned down to the floor as the creatures beat him up. He tries to get up, but more creatures keep him down. SpongeBob and Patrick escape Shell City with the crown on the beach]
SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick! Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. [sets the crown aside] Do you still have that bag of winds?
Patrick: [shows a lump on his rear] I sure do! [The duo laugh as Patrick pulls out the bag] Here you go. [SpongeBob is confused]
SpongeBob: Umm...
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: Nothing, nothing. [takes out the instructions for the bag] OK, let's go over the instructions. Let's see, it says here: "Step 1: Point the bag away from home."
Patrick: [pointing the bag at Shell City] OK.
SpongeBob: "Step 2: Plant your feet firmly on the ground."
Patrick: [keeps his feet on the ground] Right.
SpongeBob: "Step 3: Remove the string from the bag, releasing the winds."
Patrick: Check. [As Patrick pulls the string, the bag zips off]
SpongeBob: Well, that seems simple enough. [reads the instructions again while Patrick looks around, searching for the bag] "Point the bag away from home, your feet firmly on the ground, pall the string, releasing the winds." Alright, let's do it for real. [Patrick spots something with bug-eyes]
Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob? [points]
[The bag, deflating like a balloon, is blowing away! SpongeBob gasps as he and Patrick chase it]
SpongeBob: No, no, stop!
Patrick: I was bad! I'm sorry! Please, bag, I'm sorry! I just thought... It was a mistake!
[The bag flies up to the sky, then lands in the water. The duo is stranded on the beach looking sad]
SpongeBob: Oh, no! How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?
[From the distance, a man's voice is heard]
Man: I can take you there.
[It's David Hasselhoff, wearing red swim-trunks, running in slow-motion. With his bare feet seen on the camera, he stops near SpongeBob and Patrick who look up at him]
SpongeBob: Who are you?
David Hasselhoff: I'm David Hasselhoff.
Both: [joyfully] Hooray!
SpongeBob: Um, so where's your boat?
Hasselhoff: "Boat?" [laughing]
[Later, Hasselhoff swims on the water with SpongeBob, Patrick and the crown on his back]
SpongeBob: Go, Hasselhoff!
Patrick: Next stop, Bikini Bottom!

[Back on the surface, Hasselhoff, with SpongeBob, Patrick and the crown still on his back, zooms across the water like a speedboat. A fisherman startles as he falls off his boat after seeing Hasselhoff. Tilting his head from side to side, Hasselhoff smirks]
SpongeBob: Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now!
Patrick: [looking over his shoulder] Huh? [points] Unidentified object off the hindquarters.
[Something above the sea zooms toward Hasselhoff like another speedboat]
SpongeBob: [narrowing his eyes] It looks like… [The speeding figure rises from the water. It's the Cyclops's boot!] Bigger boot. But how?
[The boot stops behind Hasselhoff's foot then lifts upright revealing a green smudged smear, resembling Plankton earlier when SpongeBob stepped on him, on the sole. The smear sprouts out arms and legs, then breaks free from the sole. It's Dennis, his clothes now torn, damaged and ragged and his sunglasses broken revealing his eyes. Without his bandana, his mouth is revealed with sharp and pointy teeth as he grins evilly. SpongeBob and Patrick are shocked]
SpongeBob: Aah! Dennis!
Dennis: Did you miss me?

Neptune: Eugene Krabs, your 6-day reperive is up, and it is time for you to die.

[Back on Hasselhoff's back, SpongeBob and Patrick cower in fear as Dennis looms over them. Silhouetted by the sun, he takes off his broken sunglasses]
Dennis: Now, where were we?
SpongeBob: Patrick, run!
Patrick: No! I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop- [Just as Patrick grimly is about to fight, Dennis sends him flying, and he lands on Hasselhoff's foot] Run, SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob screams as he runs under Dennis. From Dennis's point of view, SpongeBob rushes over to Hasselhoff's rear, where he slides down. Dennis stabs it with a dagger]
Hasselhoff: Ooh! Take it easy back there, fellas.
[On Hasselhoff's right leg, SpongeBob tries to avoid Dennis]
Patrick: SpongeBob, be careful!
Dennis: Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis always gets his man.
SpongeBob: NEVER!!!
[In slow-motion, SpongeBob jumps over to the other side of Hasselhoff's left leg]
SpongeBob: Yeah, I did it!
[Behind him, Dennis has reached the other side, too!]
Dennis: You got guts, kid. [SpongeBob yelps] Too bad I gotta rip 'em outta you.
SpongeBob: [taking out a pile of Goober Dollars] Uh, I don't know what Plankton's paying you, but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. [Dennis takes the dollars]
Dennis: It's gonna take more than 5… [looks at the dollars] What is this?
SpongeBob: Uh, that, sir, is 5 Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober… [Dennis grabs him by his throat] I got bubbles. Fun at parties.
[Bubbles from the bubble wand sprays into Dennis's eyes]
Dennis: My eyes!
[As Dennis holds his now-soapy bloodshot eyes, he throws SpongeBob over his shoulder]
Patrick: I gotcha, SpongeBob! [catches him]
SpongeBob: Thanks, buddy! [Dennis looms his spiked sole over them] Uh, thanks a lot.
Dennis: That's it! I'm through with messing around! See ya later, fools! Huh?
[As a boat horn honks, Dennis looks over his shoulder. Hasselhoff ducks under a catamaran. Dennis screams. The view cuts to black a bit as he is strucked by it. SpongeBob and Patrick look on]
Patrick: See ya.

[Back on the surface, Hasselhoff stops near Bikini Atoll Island]
Hasselhoff: OK, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom is directly below.
SpongeBob: But we'll never be able to float down in time!
Hasselhoff: Who said anything about floating?
[As he stands up, SpongeBob and Patrick cling onto his shoulder]
Houston Voice: Initiating launch sequence.
Both: What the…?
[On Hasselhoff's chest, his pecs become launchers, much to SpongeBob and Patrick's amazement]
SpongeBob: Did you see that?
Patrick: The control!
[Hasselhoff grabs the duo and the crown off of his back]
Hasselhoff: All hands on deck. [places them on his pecs, and prepares for liftoff. The launchers squeeze the crown]
Houston Voice: 10 seconds to liftoff. 9, 8…
[Glimpses show Neptune pointing his firey trident at Krabs, Mindy and Plankton watching while each saying "no" and "yes", and Hasselhoff gritting his teeth for the liftoff on his pecs]
Neptune: Eugene Krabs, the time has come…
Mindy: No!
Plankton: Yes!
Houston Voice: …6, 5…
Neptune: …FOR YOU…
Mindy: No!
Plankton: Yes!
Houston Voice: …3, 2…
Neptune: …TO FRY!
Mindy: NO!!
Plankton: YES!!!
Houston Voice: …1.
[With a blast, SpongeBob and Patrick scream as they hold onto the crown for dear life as they zoom towards Bikini Bottom]
Mr. Krabs: [closes his eyes] NO!
[The duo crashes through the roof. Just as a ray of light is about to hit Krabs, the crown blocks it. The ray of light blasts up to the surface where Hasselhoff relaxes]
Hasselhoff: You done good, Hasselhoff. You done… [The ray of light zaps him, but he survives, now cinched] Ow.

Mr. Krabs: [opens his eyes] Huh?
SpongeBob: Hooray! We made it!
Patrick: We made it!
[the duo jump in joy as Krabs, still frozen but smiling, jumps in]
Neptune: My crown! [picks his crown up] My beautiful crown! [kisses it]
Mindy: [comes in and hugs the duo] SpongeBob, Patrick? I knew you could do it!
[Patrick chuckles, until....]
Plankton: [clapping slowly, sarcastically] Oh, yes. Well done, SpongeBoob.
SpongeBob: Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
Plankton: Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my UMBRELLA! [pulls lever]
SpongeBob, Mindy & Patrick: Umbrella?

[SpongeBob uses a Goofy Goober guitar laser to free the citizens of Bikini Bottom]
Squidward: Ha!
Mrs. Puff: Ooh!
Sandy: Yee-haw!
Gary: Meow.
Plankton: His chaps are too righteous! The helmets can't handle this level of rock and roll! Karen, do something! [notices his computer wife crowd surfing] Karen? [Karen laughs as Plankton grits his teeth angrily] Alright, that's the last straw! Neptune, I command you to-
[SpongeBob frees him, too]

[Plankton is now completely squashed by the freed citizens]
Plankton: Come on, I was just kidding! [An officer scoops him up with a shovel] Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? [The officer puts him into a little truck with the back door labeled "Institution for the Criminally Tiny"] With the helmets and the monuments. [laughs] Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? [Everyone goes back inside the Krusty Krab 2 as the truck drives off; last words] I'll destroy all of you!
Neptune: Well, Mindy, I have to admit, you were right.

[Last lines]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy! I'm sorry I ever doubted you. That's a mistake I won't make again.
SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, you old soft-serve! [They hug]
Mr. Krabs: And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I should've done 6 days ago. Squidward, front and center, please! [Squidward comes] I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin.
Squidward: I couldn't agree more, sir.
Harold: Hooray for SpongeBob!
[Everyone cheers]
SpongeBob: Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.
Squidward: I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.
SpongeBob: [takes the pin] Are you crazy?! I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down. Manager?! This is the greatest day of my life!!! [jumps up happily as the screen freeze-frames and fades out]

[In a post-credit scene, the pirates look at each other. The captain talks about Hasselhoff]
Captain Bart: [closing lines] You know, David Hasselhoff is a great artist.
Usher: Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.
[The pirates growl angrily at her]
Captain Bart: What? [points his sword at her] Say that again, if you dare.
Usher: [pirate accent] You folks have to leave.
Captain Bart: [after an awkward pause] OK.
[The captain leads his friends out of the theater while the usher sweeps up popcorn]


Character Voices[edit]

Additional Voices[edit]

Live-Action Characters[edit]

  • David Hasselhoff — Himself
  • Kristopher Logan — Squinty the Pirate
  • D.P. FitzGerald — Bonesy the Pirate
  • Cole McKay — Scruffy the Pirate
  • Dylan Haggerty — Stitches the Pirate
  • Bart McCarthy — Captain Bart the Pirate
  • Henry Kingi — Inky the Pirate
  • Randolph Jones — Tiny the Pirate
  • Paul Zies — Upper Deck the Pirate
  • Gerard Griesbaum — Fingers the Pirate
  • Aaron Hendry — Tangles the Pirate, Cyclops Diver
  • Maxie Santillan — Gummy the Pirate
  • Peter DeYoung — Leatherbeard the Pirate
  • Gino Montesinos — Tango the Pirate
  • John Siciliano — Pokey the Pirate
  • David Stifel — Cookie the Pirate
  • Alex Baker — Martin the Pirate
  • Robin Russell — Sniffy the Pirate
  • Tommy Schooler — Salty the Pirate
  • Ben Wilson — Stovepipe the Pirate
  • José Zelay — Dooby the Pirate
  • Mageina TovahUsher
  • Chris Cummins
    Todd Duffey — Concession Guys
  • Michael Patrick BellFisherman

Teaser Trailer[edit]

[The teaser trailer starts with the Paramount Pictures logo]
Voice: Sonar 4-0, is that sound still out there?
[The scene cuts inside a submarine]
Man #1: [speaking German] Concact, bearing 60°. Quite faint.
Bart Mancuso: What do you got?
[Seaman Ronald "Jonesy" Jones holds up his hand]
Beaumont: What's going on, Jones?
[Jonesy holds his headphones. He hears SpongeBob laughing]
Man #2: I can hear…
Man #3: What is it?
Man #2: Splashes!
[The people look up as they hear SpongeBob laugh again]
Jonesy: 3,000 yards. Closing, ultimately fast.
[Mancuso and his friends look closely to the submarine radar, where a silhouette of SpongeBob appears on the right. Vice Admiral James Greer looks shocked]
Greer: Mother of God!
[The scene cuts to the bathroom of SpongeBob's house. In the bathtub, SpongeBob plays with his submarine while laughing, wearing a sailor's hat. Gary, with his eyes above the tub's surface, watches him]
SpongeBob: Don't you just love playing submarine, Gary?
[Gary meows underwater as if to say, "I guess so."]
SpongeBob: Prepare to dive!!
[As SpongeBob imitates a propeller, he plunges his submarine into the tub. The scene cuts back inside it, where water sprays through the walls! The people try to clog them]
Man #4: Move it! Move it! Move it!
[The movie's early title appears overblack]
Announcer: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.
[As the theme song from the show plays, the scene cuts to the bottom of the tub, where SpongeBob's submarine lays on the drain as the tub water goes down. A rubber duck is nearby]
Man #5: Captain, sir. Uh, you're never gonna believe this.
[The scene cuts back inside the submarine as the show's theme song fades]
Jonesy: For a second, I thought I heard…
Mancuso: Heard what?
Jonesy: I thought I heard singing, sir.
[The theme song ends with a pirate laughing as a nose flute was heard. An orange fish with white text reading, "Nickelodeon", swims above red words reading, "Thanksgiving 2004", ending the teaser trailer]

External Links[edit]