SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2
- Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Main
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.
- Patrick: [SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab] SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
- SpongeBob: Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest.
Squid's Day Off (1.2)
- Mr. Krabs: I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy.
- SpongeBob: I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud!
- Squidward: Is that what he calls it?
Bossy Boots (2.2)
- Pearl: SpongeBob, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab...or the Kooky Krab?
- Squidward: For what, dare I ask?
- Pearl: The new name for our new look. I mean, "The Krusty Krab" has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh!
- Squidward: Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
- Pearl: Hmm... how about The Kissy Krab? [smooches]
- SpongeBob: [dressed as a king] The King Krab.
- Pearl: [holds up a lollipop] The Kandy Krab!
- SpongeBob: [dressed in hip hop clothes] The Kool Krab.
- [dressed as a cowboy] Or the Kowboy Krab!
- [stretched out] The Kurly Krab!
- [dressed as a mad scientist] The Kreepy Krab!
- [dressed as a crazy killer jungle man] The Killer Krab!
- Pearl: [groans] NO!
- SpongeBob: You're right, too scary.
- SpongeBob and Pearl: The Kuddly Krab! [hug and laugh]
Big Pink Loser (3.1)
- [Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]
- SpongeBob: [reading award caption] "For outstanding achievement in achievement" - 'SpongeBob SquarePants'?
- Patrick: "SpongeBob SquarePants"? That's a funny way to spell my name.
- SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
- Patrick: [sadly] But, it's shiny! [starts to cry]
- SpongeBob: Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
- Patrick: Ice cream!
- SpongeBob: Exactly!
- Patrick: I can find it! Is it in here?
- SpongeBob: No, don't! That's my-- [Patrick opens the door and an enormous pile of trophies tumble out] ...award closet.
- Patrick: I WANT AN AWARD!
Bubble Buddy (3.2)
- Squidward: Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, no pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival style! And if there is anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask!
Dying For Pie (4.1)
- Mr. Krabs: So, are you ready?
- Squidward: To go home?
- Mr. Krabs: No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day!
- Squidward: Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards that guy! [points to SpongeBob]
Imitation Krabs (4.2)
- SpongeBob: I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
- Mr. Krabs: [angrily] Yes, why aren't you working harder?!
- SpongeBob: [blankly] I don't know, Mr. Krabs. I don't know...
- Squidward: That's it. I'm getting off the loony express.
Patty Hype (5.2)
- SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?
- Patrick: Yeah!
- SpongeBob: What's the matter?
- Patrick: I can't see my forehead!
Grandma's Kisses (6.1)
- Grandma: You don't have to be a baby to get all of Grandma's love.
- SpongeBob: I don't?
- Grandma: Of course not. No matter how big you get, you will always be my little baby boo, and remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult.
- Squidward: SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would... [a piece of debris from his house falls on his head] I would rather tear out my brain-stem, carry it out into the middle of the nearest 4-way intersection, and skip rope with it, than go on living where I do now.
- [A TV falls on the ground]
- Announcer: Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest 3-way–
- Squidward: 4-way!
- Announcer: 4-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to–
- Patrick: [suddenly changes the channel to a static screen] I hate this channel.
- Squidward: NO, NO! [changes it back]
- Announcer: ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!
Pre-Hibernation Week (7.1)
- [Sandy finds SpongeBob's clothes hanging off of a bush]
- Sandy: SpongeBob's tie... and all his other little dressins? But... SpongeBob always folds his clothes before running around... IN THE NUDE! Something terrible must have happened to him!
Life of Crime (7.2)
- Patrick: I wanna go home.
- SpongeBob: We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running... running, but at least it’s warmer on the fire.
- Patrick: Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a...? [The fire dissolves] I’m scared, SpongeBob.
- Squidward: I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.
- Patrick: Like a genie.
Survival of the Idiots (9.1)
- Spongebob: [as "Dirty Dan"; in a southern voice] Alright Pinhead, your time is up.
- Patrick: [as "Pinhead Larry"; with a looney, bucktooth face] Who you callin' Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan!
- SpongeBob: What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
- Patrick: I'm Dirty... [SpongeBob hits him with a baseball bat made of snow]
- SpongeBob: I say I'm Dirty Dan.
- Patrick: [rushes to get a spiked-bat made of snow] I say I'm Dirty Dan!
- SpongeBob: [hits Patrick] I say I'm Dirty Dan.
- Patrick: [hits SpongeBob] I'm Dirty Dan!
- SpongeBob: I'm Dirty Dan!
- Patrick: I'm Dirty Dan!
- [They continue to hit each other while saying "I'm Dirty Dan!"]
- Patrick: Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
- SpongeBob: Laundry? But we used to do laundry!
- Patrick: And, uh... SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
- SpongeBob: [on the verge of breaking down] Soap? But we used to use soap! [holds up two different types of soap] Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du-Du-Du...?
- Patrick: Here it comes.
- SpongeBob: ...Du-Du-- [crying] --Tty-yyy-yyy!?!
No Free Rides (10.1)
- SpongeBob: Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?
- Mrs. Puff: 6.
- SpongeBob: Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?
- Mrs. Puff: 6.
- SpongeBob: [bending over and rising up very slowly] Whoo–
- Mrs. Puff: Hundred.
- SpongeBob: Wha?
- Mrs. Puff: 600. You need 600 to pass. You got 6.
I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (10.2)
- SpongeBob: But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!
- Kevin: So were they. [points down to some fans he has managed to get rid of, trapped at the bottom of the ledge at a campfire]
- Fish: Hey, look everyone! Kevin's back! [they cheer]
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III (11.1)
- [Man Ray sits on the floor with a hand over his face, pretending to cry]
- Man Ray: Boo-hoo-hoo! Oh, sob...! Oh, cry...! [peeks through his fingers to see if SpongeBob and Patrick are watching] Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like, being evil for so long! Oh, how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick beam at one another]
- SpongeBob: We could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go!
- Man Ray: Oh, that would be fantastic! [to himself] I'll fake my way through this, just like I did in high school.
Squirrel Jokes (11.2)
- SpongeBob: Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?
- Fish: Why?!
- SpongeBob: Because, they're so darn stupid!
- Sandy: I'm a squirrel. See? [points to the acorn logo on her suit]
- SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts.
- Patrick: If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like "you" and "are", and... "a jerk"!
- Dutchman: I’ve been thinking. [notices SpongeBob and Patrick] Stop bouncing! [they both stop] This whole crew for eternity thing isn’t working out… It’s not really you so much as it is me…
- SpongeBob: You’re setting us free?
- Dutchman: Well actually, I’m just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! [leaves]
- [SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]
- SpongeBob: I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages!
- [Images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear]
- SpongeBob: [walking away] Sorry you had to see that.
- Robot SpongeBob: [turning on] Bee-beep-doodle-le-dee-doo... RESPONSE - WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME LATER?
- Plankton: What?! WHAT?!?
- Robot SpongeBob: GET WELDED.
- Plankton: WAIT, I COMMAND YOU MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY!!
- Robot SpongeBob: [while reading some comics and takes a drink from his soda] I DON'T WANNA.
- [SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil.]
- SpongeBob: It's a jellyfish!
- Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
- SpongeBob: Huh! Everybody's a critic. [Patrick notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life.]
- Patrick: SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
- SpongeBob: [oblivious] Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
- Patrick: [pointing to the jellyfish] No, I mean it's swimming away!
- SpongeBob: Do you know what this means, Patrick?
- Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.
The Secret Box (15.1)
- Patrick: You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. [A thought bubble appears, showing a milk carton falling over and spilling]
- Squidward: [on phone] Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the– [blows clarinet]
- Squilliam Fancyson: Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?
- Squidward: [shocked] Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
- Squilliam: I heard you're playing the cash register now.
- Squidward: Yeah, well, sometimes. How's the unibrow?
- Squilliam: It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big, fancy band now, and we're supposed to play at the Bubble Bowl next week!
- Squidward: The bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu...?
- Squilliam: That's right! I'm living your dream, Squidward! The problem is I'm busy next week and can't make, so I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.
- Squidward: Oh, I, uh, uh, uh...
- Squilliam: I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now!
- Squidward: [angry at the comment] HOLD IT! [Squilliam perks up as he was about to hang up] It just so happens that I don't sell fast food! I do have a band, and we're going to play at that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, FancyBoy?!
- Squilliam: Good luck next Tuesday! I hope the audience brings lots of... IBUPROFEN! [hangs up]
- SpongeBob: Isn't this great, Squidward? Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours, and then the sun will come up, and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! [gasps] It'll be just like a sleepover, only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease! Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!
- Squidward: No.
- SpongeBob: Good! 'Cause we got customers!
- Squidward: Here. [hands a baseball bat to a customer] Please hit me as hard as you can.
- SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen… [giggles] At night.
- Squidward: [tilts his head sideways to the customer with the bat] Don't hold back.
- Mr. Krabs: $49.0... 8? That's a penny short! [cries]
- Squidward: [sarcastically] Oh no, not a penny. Help, somebody help us.
- Mail Fish: Package for Mr. Squarepants.
- SpongeBob: Great! Thanks. [trying to strike up a conversation] So, uh, you like delivering mail?
- Mail Fish: It puts bread on the table.
- SpongeBob: Rye or pumpernickel? [laughs]
- Mail Fish: Oh, brother.
- SpongeBob: So, do you deliver your own mail, or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain--
- Mail Fish: [interrupting] Don't you have a paper to write?
- Patrick: You know something, SpongeBob? It's all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. [sarcastically] "Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do." [angrily] Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews! And nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe… [getting increasingly worked up] ...Or FABRICATE!
- SpongeBob: [gently] But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate.
- [Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]
- SpongeBob: Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.
- Patrick: No it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse!
- SpongeBob: Darn, I like the funnel.
- SpongeBob: Wow, 13.
- Patrick: That's a lot of bad words. [dolphin noise]
Artist Unknown (18.2)
- Squidward: Now repeat after me. I have no talent.
- SpongeBob: "I have no talent."
- Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
- SpongeBob: "Mr. Tentacles has all the talent."
- Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
- SpongeBob: "If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent... will rub his tentacles... on my art." [Pause]
- Squidward: [unenthusiastically] Whatever.
Jellyfish Hunter (19.1)
- Mr. Krabs: What don't you understand about "More"!? [multiple of SpongeBobs are watching jellyfishes] More! More! More. More. More! More. More! [He grimaces and demands more] More, more, more, more, more! MOOOOORE!!! [Cut to night. A sign reading "Jellyfish Fields: Population 4 is seen. The word "000,000" is crossed out]
- SpongeBob: Well, there's no more! Now, that's jellyfishing!
The Fry Cook Games (19.2)
- Patrick: D'oh, come on, you're just flipping Patties.
- SpongeBob: Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! [Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise] Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the "Laying Under a Rock All Day" Games!
- Patrick: [shocked] Well, at least, I don't polish my fingernails!
- SpongeBob: [gasps] You take that back! [a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]
- Patrick: [mocking] Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
- SpongeBob: You don't even have fingernails!
- Patrick: [shocked] I cannot believe what I am hearing!
- SpongeBob: How can you hear it? You don't have ears either!
- Patrick: [thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots his holes] Er... Holes, holes!
- SpongeBob: Conehead!
- Patrick: Yellow!
- SpongeBob: Pink!
Squid on Strike (20.1)
- Squidward: Nobody cares about the fate of laborers as long as they can get their instant gratification.
Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (20.2)
- Sandy: Who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom? [pulls a live-action boat down underwater by its anchor]
- SpongeBob: You are.
- Sandy: And who put the, hiyah-hah-huah, "K" in "karate"?!
- SpongeBob: [body is shaped like a "U"] You did.
- Sandy: And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis? [SpongeBob's backside reads "Property of Sandy Cheeks"]
- SpongeBob: You do.