SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7
- Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Main
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.
- Patrick: [laughing] My shorts are wet!
- Squidward: Patrick, just how dumb are you?
- Patrick: It varies.
I ♥ Dancing (1.2)
- Squidward: [upon seeing SpongeBob dancing] That is the stupidest dance I've ever seen.
- SpongeBob: [to Squidward] Who put you on the planet?
- Twin Sisters: [singing] We're tiny, we're cuddly, we're bubbly, wubbly, huggly!
- Talent Agent: That was very cute, girls! [then annoyed] In fact, it's too cute. You're out.
- Twin Sisters: I told you it was a stupid idea... and I hate you, too!
Growth Spout (2.1)
- Cracker: What am I, chopped liver?
- Offscreen voice: No, that's what I am. [zoom out showing a jar of chopped liver]
- Mrs. Puff: [in her sleep] Must...protect garden.
- Squidward's house: Oh, well. I needed to lose a little weight anyway.
Stuck in the Wringer (2.2)
Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy (3.1)
The Inside Job (3.2)
- [Plankton unplugs SpongeBob's ear drum]
- Plankton: Let me see what I can tune in here. Hmm.
- Mr. Krabs: The secret of the Krabby Patty formula is--
- Plankton: Jackpot!
- Spongebob: Huh?
- Mr, Krabs: I said--
- SpongeBob: Could you speak a little louder, please?
- Mr. Krabs: The secret to the Krabby Patty formula--
- SpongeBob: What?
- Mr. Krabs: Hold on.
- Plankton: Here it comes!
- Mr. Krabs: [shouting into a megaphone] THE SECRET TO THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS...! [The shouting causes Plankton's ears to pop]
- Plankton: OW!!! I hate my life!
- Plankton: Enough with these petty carnal senses. If I'm going to get the Krabby Patty recipe...[he arrives at...] The brain!
- [Snickering evily, he sticks one end of the mind connector to the brain and absorbs some of it]
- Plankton: Hi, friend! [he gasps as he saw "Superficial Greetings" on the brain] "Superficial Greetings"? What kind of idiot...? [sees the parts of the brain] --"Personal Opinions"? "Knock-knock Jokes"?! No, no, no, no! This is all useless!
Greasy Buffoons (4.1)
- Mr. Krabs/Plankton: Oh, no! Did somebody call the Health inspector?
- Health inspector: Did somebody call a... Health inspector?
Model Sponge (4.2)
Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful (5.1)
A Pal for Gary (5.2)
- [Spongebob sees little puffy fish being sold by a peddler, and becomes enticed by them and decides to get one of them for Gary]
- SpongeBob: I'll take that one right there!
- Store Owner: You wish to have one of my rare and extremely dangerous... huh?
- SpongeBob: Oh yeah this is the one. [picks one of them]
- Store Owner: Beware, boy, this is no ordinary pet!
- SpongeBob: Oh, Gary's gonna be so happy!
- Store Owner: You must understand. These pets can be very unstable. especially around other pets!
- [She proves this by showing a picture of a cat next to another puffy fish, who snarls at it.]
- SpongeBob: [obliviously] Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, bye. [he runs off]
- Store Owner: Why bother? They never listen.
- Spongebob: Ahh. I can rest so peacefully, now that Gary's got a good pal they could play with.
- [Just as he goes to sleep, Gary bursts through the door, scared and meowing in alarm, causing him to wake up with a start.]
- Spongebob: Gary! Shame on you! [takes Gary back in the living room] Puffy Fluffy is perfectly harmless. [he takes the blanket off, revealing what he thinks is normal Puffy Fluffy] See there he is fast asleep. Now will you let me sleep, Gary, please? [sets Gary back on a small green bed and covers him with a small blanket] Good night. [goes back to bed]
- [After Spongebob wakes up and notices the damage to the house, thanks to Puffy Fluffy]
- Spongebob: Huh? What's this? Must have been a sea quake last night. Oh well, what are you gonna do? [opens the galley door which falls over] That's unusual. WHOA!! [sees the library which is a total wreck] My library! [gasps] And my prized memoirs of T.S. Halibut! [gasps] My clothes! [picks up his torn pants] This was no random sea quake, Who could have done this? Why, there was no one here except... [mistakenly realizes something] ...Gary. I bet he's jealous about the new friend!
Yours, Mine and Mine (6.1)
- Patrick: Uh, I'm not home right now! Please leave a message! Beeeep...
- SpongeBob: Patrick, it's me! SpongeBob! It's my turn to play with the toy!
- Patrick: I can't go out! I just washed my hair!
- SpongeBob: You don't have any h-come out, Patrick! It's MY turn!!
- Patrick: Got any ID?
- SpongeBob: I have my milkshake dispenser operator license.
- Patrick: [looks at it] Looks fake to me pal! Bye-Bye now!
- SpongeBob: Well, I guess I had best be going! [Pretends to walk away] I'm walking away...Here I go... [quietly] I'm gone now! [hides on Patrick's antenna]
- Patrick: You sure?
- SpongeBob: I'm sure! [Patrick comes out, he jumps at him] Hi, Patrick! Time to SHARE!
- Patrick: DECEIVER! You didn't leave at all!!
- SpongeBob: Oh, and you were washing your hair!?!
- Patrick: I was too, See? [shows his armpit hair]
- SpongeBob: [Surprised] Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!
- Patrick: Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary!!
- Gary: Meow. [turns and slithers back into SpongeBob's house]
- SpongeBob: Hand it over, Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today!
- Patrick: You can't take it, It's not fair!
- SpongeBob: How about I take it for half a day?
- Patrick: Mm-mm!
- SpongeBob: How about we trade off every hour?
- Patrick: Mm-mm!
- SpongeBob: Every half hour?
- Patrick: Mm-mm!
- SpongeBob: Every fifteen minutes?
- Patrick: Mm-mm!
- SpongeBob: Five minutes?
- Patrick: Mm-mm!
- SpongeBob: One minute?
- Patrick: N-n-no!
- SpongeBob: Okay then, for our final offer we trade off every second!
- [They pass Patty Pal back and fourth every second]
- Patrick: One.
- SpongeBob: One.
- Patrick: One.
- [Pause, Patrick runs off while SpongeBob tears himself angrily]
Kracked Krabs (6.2)
- Mr. Krabs:: Lad, you're surrounded by stingy wisdom, so try to pick up some pointers. But whatever you do, don't lend anyone money!
- SpongeBob:: [lending money to another crab] 25, 26...
The Curse of Bikini Bottom (7.1)
Squidward in Clarinetland (7.2)
- Squidward: Order up, SpongeBob!
- [walk towards SpongeBob]
- Squidward: SpongeBob! What do you think you're doing? You're supposed to be fry cooking. I told you not to touch my stuff!
- SpongeBob: I didn't! I wore protective gloves! And besides, don't you like how classy it look now?
- Squidward: Velvet..
- SpongeBob: Now I'd like to stand by and idly chat with you, Squidward, But I must attend to my Krusty Krab duties! In the future, please keep your interruptions to a minimum sir, please!
- Squidward: Hey, come back! I need my clarinet! Come Back! Where are you? Sponge-
[bumps into an eagle head]
- Eagle: I am the keeper of the horned forest, state your business here.
- Squidward: uuhh.. I'm.. trying to find my clarinet.
- Eagle: Your clarinet?
- Squidward:: Yes, my clarinet! Which I am the proud owner.
- Eagle: A clarinet is not owned. Why don't you tell me why you're really here?
- Squidward: You calling me a liar?!
[Eagle grabs Squidward with his tongue]
- Eagle: I don't appreciate your tone.
- Squidward: I'm sorry I-I-I didn't mean to offend you.
- Eagle: This is a sacred place where clarinets live without persecution. You need to learn respect.
- Squidward: [Eagle squeezed squidward tightly] I've learned.. [loosely] I've learned respect...
- Eagle: I don't believe you.
[Swallows Squidward and he ends up in the stomach, Squidward sees SpongeBob]
Back to the Past (IX.I)
- Mermaid Men:
- #2: [running out of the time machine along with the second Barnacle Boy, Spongebob and Patrick] Keep your tongue out of my tarter sauce!
- #1: Imposters!
- #2: Who are you calling imposter, imposter? I must prevent our tarter sauce from being eaten by that... [pans to Patrick] ...That fool!
- #1: If I want to get near my tarter sauce, I gotta go through me first!
- #2: I’m gonna make you eat those words!
- #1: Bring It! [gets "slapped"] Take this! ["punches" himself's hair] I’ll never let you win!
- #2: Oh, yes I will!
- Young: What do you make of this, Barnacle Boy?
- Young Barnacle Boy: Tangled Timeline, Mermaid Man. I...
The Bad Guy Club for Villains (IX.II)
A Day Without Tears (10.1)
- SpongeBob: He was a good little Krabby Patty. [sniffs] I didn't know him well, but in the few short seconds between grill and floor, I--[opens the trash lid and begins crying]--I came to love him! [the patty slowly slides off his spatula and into the trash bin] It just isn't fair! [he cries even louder, soaking and enraging Squidward from the counter window]
- Squidward: SpongeBob, will you stop crying?!
- SpongeBob: But the Krabby Patty fell on the floor and then he...
- Squidward: Krabby Patty nothing!
- SpongeBob: I--
- Squidward: [shouting] KRABBY PATTY NOTHING!!!! [breathes heavily. SpongeBob whimpers] What now?
- SpongeBob: [stifled] You yelled at me... [wailing] YOU YELLED AT ME!!!!!!! [continues sobbing]
- Squidward: All right, look. So far today, and it's not even 2:00 yet, you have cried 43 times.
- SpongeBob: And you wrote that number on a chalkboard.
- Squidward: Yes!
- SpongeBob: Why?
- Squidward: [pauses for a second] I have no idea.
- SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, there's no way I cry that much. There's not that many tears in my brain.
- Squidward: Au contraire. [turns on a TV]
- SpongeBob: What's this?
- Squidward: It's a quick montage of flashbacks I've edited together that shows the hundreds of tears you have cried over the years.
- [the video begins to play, showing SpongeBob crying in the Krusty Krab, in a grocery store, at Mrs. Puff's Boating School, in Jellyfish Fields, in the bathroom, and more like near a bus stop for no reason]
- SpongeBob: [in the video] Boo! Hoo! Boohoo! Sob. Whimper.
- Narrator: Thousands of tears later...
- [SpongeBob continues to watch himself crying in the video]
- SpongeBob: Wow, guess I do cry a lot. I promise I won't cry anymore.
- Squidward: Oh, nonsense! I bet you can't go the rest of the day without crying.
- SpongeBob: [realizes something] Excuse me a minute. [he walks up to a rotary telephone and dials it, Patrick appears lazily sitting on his couch when his own phone rings]
- Patrick: [answers it] Star... residence. Patrick speaking.
- SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.
- Patrick: Hey, buddy! Is it 7:30 already?
- SpongeBob: No, I'm still at work.
- Patrick: How can I help you?
- SpongeBob: Do you think that I could go the rest of the day without crying?
- Patrick: [mouth full with popcorn] Well, of course you can.
- SpongeBob: Okay, great, thanks, Patrick.
- Patrick: Umm... sure. And did you remember to put that package outside where I told you?
- SpongeBob: Yeah, but I left it in a different spot. Just ask Gary, he knows where it is.
- Patrick: Oh, yeah. [laughs with his mouth full] Hey, good one, buddy. You almost had me there.
- SpongeBob: [chuckles] Okay.
- Patrick: Yeah, talk to you later.
- SpongeBob: All right, see ya. [hangs up, then walks back up to Squidward] Okay, it's a bet.
- Squidward: [shakes SpongeBob's hand] Fine. If you cry one tear before midnight, you have to... [thinks] Wash my bike, clean out my rain gutters, and do all my yard work for a year.
- SpongeBob: Sounds fair to me. And if I make it to midnight without crying, you'll come to a slumber party at my place. Just you and me. [Squidward retches and swallows] Ooh, what's the matter?
- Squidward: Um, nothing, I just threw up a little in my mouth. [begins talking in his thoughts] No need to worry, Squiddy. You've outdone yourself. He'll be crying in ten minutes.
Summer Job (10.2)
One Coarse Meal (11.1)
Gary In Love (11.2)
The Play's the Thing (12.1)
- SpongeBob: Squidward, no! Those patties aren't fit for public consumption!
- Squidward: Here, enjoy!
- SpongeBob: [tries not to cry] Bless you all.
- Patrick: I like throwing food. [chucks a burnt Krabby Patty at SpongeBob]
- SpongeBob: OW!!
- All: FOOD FIGHT!!!!
- Squidward: AAAAAHH!!!
- Patrick: Haw haw! Ah haw haw! [hurls an anchor]
Rodeo Daze (12.2)
Gramma's Secret Recipe (13.1)
The Cent of Money (13.2)
The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom (14.1)
- Patrick: Uh, I'd like you to meet my friend, SpongeBob.
- SpongeBob: And you are?
- Monster: Raaaaaaaarrrrghhh!
- SpongeBob: Nice to meet you, Mr. Raaaaaaaarrrrghhh!
Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Triangle (14.2)
- Mr. Krabs: [to the mermaids] So there's really no way out of this place? [cries] Cause I really need to get back to the Krusty Krab to stop me arch-nemesis from ruining me business.
- Lead Mermaid: T.N.O.P, Grandpa.
- Mr. Krabs: T.N.O.P?
- Spongebob: [to Mr. Krabs] Totally Not Our Problem.
The Curse of the Hex (15.1)
The Main Drain (15.2)
That Sinking Feeling (18.1)
- Patrick: Knock, knock!
- SpongeBob: Who's there?
- Patrick: I don't know! [laughs]
- Squidward: Why were you digging under my yard?
- SpongeBob: You told us not to walk on your yard, so, we walked under it.
- Squidward: But you buried my house!
- Patrick: No need to thank us.
- Squidward: THANK YOU?!?
- Patrick: You're welcome.
Karate Star (18.2)
Buried in Time (19.1)
Enchanted Tiki Dreams (19.2)
The Abrasive Side (20.1)
- Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, SpongeBob! I need you to work an extra 17 hour shift tonight!
- SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing Mr.-- [flips to Abrasive SB]
- Abrasive SpongeBob: Sorry, Krabs! I'm busy! Unless you're payin' me overtime! [leaves]
- Mr. Krabs: Overtime? O... o... o-ver-time...? [He gets out a dictionary] Overtime? Hm, let's see here... "over"... "oversold"... "overspend"... Ah! "Overtime: More money per hour". [mutters for a moment] AHHHH!!! [hides behind desk] Oh, filthy, disgusting word!
- Squidward: Oh fun. I suppose you want me to play some stupid game, or you'll just follow me around all day and never ever leave, huh?
- [He sprays SpongeBob with his hose; SpongeBob flips to Abrasive SB]
- Squideard: Tch, huh.
- [Abrasive SB snaps his fingers repeatedly]
- Abrasive SpongeBob: 'Fraid not, Schnozward! I wouldn't hang out with you for all the money in Krabs' mattress!
- Squidward: [hugs him] You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words!
- Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! You're right on time for our play date!
- SpongeBob: Ooh, I can't wait... [flips to Abrasive SB]
- Abrasive SpongeBob: ...to ditch you... [flips to Normal SB]
- SpongeBob: ...cause you're my best friend... [flips to Abrasive SB]
- Abrasive SpongeBob: ...so beat it, tubby! I don't care for your company! [flips to Normal SB]
- SpongeBob: Well, Patrick, are you ready to have some fun?
- Patrick: I don't know...! [sobs]
Hide and Then What Happens? (21.1)
Shellback Shenanigans (21.2)
The Masterpiece (22.1)
Whelk Attack (22.2)
You Don't Know Sponge (23.1)
Tunnel of Glove (23.2)
- Pearl: Ugh, this ride is lame! Hey! You're allowed to speak now!
- SpongeBob: [rapid fire] I bet Mr. Krabs would get a kick out of this ride, don't you think? I mean he's so tough on the outside, but he's got a soft side, too. You know, this one time I was upset because my snail Gary he was sick and he let me leave 5 minutes early. Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
- Narrator: Two very boring minutes later...
- SpongeBob: And theeeen, there was that time that Mr. Krabs yelled at me for getting to work before he did, and he didn't even dock my pay! What a sweet man!!!
- SpongeBob: Pearl, I don't think this is the Tunnel of Glove... it's the Tunnel of EVIL!!
Krusty Dogs (24.1)
The Wreck of the Mauna Loa (24.2)
- Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: Just as I thought. We're being followed. THAT'S IT! [opens seaweed, no one's there] Heh, looks like no one was following us to the secret hideout after all!
- Mr. Krabs: Found it!
- SpongeBob: Hey, were you following us?
- Mr. Krabs: No, I just saw the sign. [Scene zooms out Patrick painting a sign reading "SpongeBob and Patrick's Secret Hideout"]
New Fish in Town (25.1)
Love That Squid (25.2)
- SpongeBob: When was the last time you went out on a date?
- [Squidward remembers the last date he had was with a female octopus, dancing in 1930's Mickey Mouse style]
- Squidward: SpongeBob, you've gotta help me! It's been so long! What do I do?!
Big Sister Sam (26.1)
- Sam: MORE SPIFFY!
- Patrick: Aww, Sam. You don't have to go.
- Sam: No. I leave now. Late for manicure.