SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7

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Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 (Main) | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Spin-offs: Kamp Koral / The Patrick Star Show

SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.

Episode 1[edit]

Pet or Pests [7.1a][edit]

[Mrs. Wormley and Gary are growling each other again.]
Patrick: It looks like they're still not getting used to each other.
SpongeBob: Well, these things take time.
[Gary and Mrs. Wormsley start fighting again. SpongeBob and Patrick see the fight and they run and hide in SpongeBob's bed]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Duck and Cover!
[the fighting still continues outside of conch street]
Patrick: This town is getting too rough for me.
SpongeBob: He's chased her away! Now, who will care for her abandoned newborn infants?
Patrick: Maybe you could take care of them.
SpongeBob: Oh, no way Patrick. I've never seen Gary that upset.

Komputer Overload [7.1b][edit]

Episode 2[edit]

Gullible Pants [7.2a][edit]

Overbooked [7.2b][edit]

Episode 3[edit]

No Hat for Pat [7.3a][edit]

Frankie Billy: That guy still flopping?
Frank: Yeah! Amazing, isn't it?
Frankie Billy: Doesn't that get old?
Harold: He's got a point.
Frank: Yeah. You've seen enough?
Harold: Yeah, let's get out of here. [He, Frank, and another customer throw their food on the floor and leave]
Frankie Billy: Me, too. I'm out. [He throws his food on the floor and leaves like everybody else]
Mr. Krabs: What? Wait! Don't go! Why ya leaving?
Harold: This guy's act is stale! We crave excitement! [all the other customers argue]
Mr. Krabs: Okay, Okay! You want excitement? What if I added a box? [puts Patrick on a box as he falls from it] Huh? Huh?
Frankie Billy: Sort of the same, really.
Frank: Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay, so what if he flopped from two boxes...? [adds another box, but the customers are still bored] ...into a cream pie? [puts a cream pie in place]
Patrick: I like pie.
Frankie Billy: Say now.
Frank: That, I'd pay to see!

Toy Store of Doom [7.3b][edit]

Episode 4[edit]

Sand Castles in the Sand [7.4a][edit]

SpongeBob: [Floating gently down] All is fair in love and war my friend slash enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy!? [presses a sand button where a jet fighter resembling an F-16 hovers in midair until SpongeBob lands in the cockpit. It then starts chasing Patrick's robot head] Let's have some real fun! [Presses a button that launches two missiles that fly towards Patrick. Patrick screams as he turns his robot head away from the missiles]

Shell Shocked [7.4b][edit]

Episode 5[edit]

Chum Bucket Supreme [7.5a][edit]

Mini Brain Patrick 1: Forget about what that word means! There's a fire breaking out in the language lobes!
Mini Brain Patrick 2: We need to get outta here! [Mini Brain Patrick 3 pushes on a door with signs saying "PULL TO OPEN"]
Mini Brain Patrick 3: The door's jammed!
Mini Brain Patrick 2: Push harder! [all Mini Brain Patricks start moaning and coughing]

Karen: Don't look now, but I think your catchy slogan days are numbered.
Nat: [barfs on floor] Something's not right.
Pilar: Yeah, I know, I keep sayin' "Chum is Fum" but it's...ehh...it's just not working.
Nat: I'm outta here. [throws chumstick on the floor and leaves]
Pilar: [also throws chumstick on the floor and leaves]
Plankton: [To Patrick who is sleeping] Patrick!
Patrick: [Wakes up] Huh?
Plankton: We're having a board meeting here! We need ideas!
Patrick: [Examining a line graph whose line ends in a toilet] Hmmmm...mmmhmmm...uh-huh. I think I see the problem. Your potty has a shocky thing in it!
Plankton: [Annoyed] NO! That's not it you FOOL! We need a new slogan! You need to come up with a new genius catchphrase like Chum is Fum! But different.
Patrick: Oh gotcha. Hmmmm. [Cut to Chum Bucket, whose slogan has been switched to "Fum is Chum!"]
Nat: I'm so happy that they changed that old tired slogan "Chum is Fum"!
Pilar: Yeah that new slogan, "Fum is Chum" is way cooler!
Nat: Way cooler!
Patrick: Excuse me, sir. [hands resignation slip] My resignation. [shows picture of himself in a fighter plane shooting bullets]

Single Cell Anniversary [7.5b][edit]

Plankton: [singing]
Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen.
Oh, my computer wife, Karen.
Put down those punch cards,
Put down those punch cards,
And listen to my ode.
Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen.
Oh, my computer wife, Karen.
What compares to,
What compares to...
Ehhhh, um, eeh... AH-HA!
Your beautiful diodes?
[Instrumental break]
Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen.'
Oh, my computer wife, Karen.
I was blinded, yes, I was blinded,
I was blinded by the light of your cathode ray.
Oh, I built you, yes, I built you,
I built you in the - ehhh... erm...
In the shape of a cube!
Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen.
You'll never know how much I love your vacuum tubes!

Truth or Square [7.6-7][edit]

[The special begins showing the three houses of Conch Street at night. The scene transitions to morning. The scene changes to the room, where a snail's shell shaking with a blanket on top of it. Next to the shell is an traditional alarm clock.]
Garold "Gary" Wilson Jr. The Snail: [In his shell] Meow. [The alarm clock goes off.] Meow. [Gary's head pops out of his shell.] Meow.
[A long line of alarm clocks go off, which leads from Gary, who is in the front of the bed to a normal alarm clock. It goes off and spits out more alarm clocks. A young, yellow sponge wakes up. He gets out of bed and turns the alarm clocks off.]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Good morning, Gary!
Gary: [Angrily] Meow.
SpongeBob: A little overboard? And take a chance at being late for the single most greatest day of my career. [The shot widens and a thought bubble appears. It shows the Krusty Krab., a restaurant The eleventy-seventh anniversary of the Krusty Krab. [SpongeBob leans near Gary and shakes his head.] Oh, oh, oh, I think not. [He returns to his previous position.] No self-respecting Krusty Krab employee would be late on this day.
[The scene changes to show the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple, a pinapple house where SpongeBob's door open and a line of alarm clocks are leading to the inside of an Easter Island Head house. The scene follows the alarm clocks to the door and then moves up. a voice is heard muttering.]
Voice:What the?
[The scene returns to SpongeBob's room. He is yelling out of his window.]
SpongeBob: See you at the big event, Squidward! [SpongeBob gets hit with an alarm clock. This causes him to fly and land next to Gary. SpongeBob gets up.] Can you believe it's been eleventy seven years already?
[Gary meows angrily]
SpongeBob: [gasps] Watch the potty mouth, Gar! Today is a day for gentle reflection. Aw, I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab.
[A flashback begins. It shows the exterior of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob's Mom and Dad are walking to it. The scene shifts to show his parents front.]
Harold SquarePants: I don't know. This doesn't seem like a family restaurant.
Margaret SquarePants: Oh. [The scene widens to reveal that she is pregnant with SpongeBob] Well, what do you think, baby? Should we eat here? [The scene moves to show the inside of Margaret's womb. SpongeBob swims off-screen. The scene returns to show Margaret. She is moved inside to the front of the cash register boat.] Well, okay, then. [The scene returns to the womb and SpongeBob is next to Margaret's belly button which looks like a window. Margaret's voice is echoing.] What would you like?
SpongeBob: Krabby Patty! [The scene changes to show Margaret and Harold sitting at a table eating Krabby Patties. In the womb, SpongeBob is eating the Krabby Patties through the umbilical cord.] Yummy! [He takes the cord, rips it out, and sucks on the cord. The flashback ends and SpongeBob is shown laying on the ground being held up by his elbows.] Good times. [An alarm clock appears. SpongeBob jumps up and starts running in the air.] Oh, sorry, Gary, we can reminisce later. I gotta get ready.
[SpongeBob runs off-screen and Gary hisses at the alarm clock. The alarm clock "runs" away. The scene changes to show SpongeBob with a towel around his waist in the bathroom. He turns on the shower and takes the towel off. The scene shows SpongeBob showering]
SpongeBob: I never thought that I would have a chance like this, What dreams exist as big as this one? If happiness are patties frying on the grill, I'll have my fill, upon each fresh bun. Here's a day that couldn't get much better, It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, Just to hold on to that warm feeling. A miracle is something that you don't believe, You will receive, and then it happens. This is what I have to call a miracle, My heart is full and toes are tapping. Here's a day that couldn't get much better, It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, Just to hold on to that warm feeling. Sure I know it's gonna take a lot of work,But here's the perk, I think I must say. When you're doing something that you really love, And so proud of, then work is like play. Here's a day that couldn't get much better, It is the greatest that's ever been. It's so cool I ought'a wear a sweater, Just to hold on to that warm feeling.
[SpongeBob melts through the ice cube. He falls into the soda. He gets sucked up by a straw, which is being sucked up by SpongeBob. SpongeBob then jumps away.]

[The scene changes to shows the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple. He opens the door and starts to jog to the Krusty Krab. A crash is heard off-screen. The scene moves to the origin of the crash. SpongeBob is laying down behind a line of fish.]
Harold: Hey, hey. Chill out, buddy. We all want to get into the Krusty Krab as much as you do.
[The scene shows that the line goes all of the way to the Krusty Krab. The scene returns to SpongeBob. He looks at his watch.]
SpongeBob: But I don't have time to wait in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today.
[SpongeBob steps on people's head's to get to the Krusty Krab.]
Harold: Oh!
Mable-Monica: Ah!
Isabelle Fish: Ooh!
Sadie: What the?
Frankie Billy: Hey!
Fred: Ah!
Tom: Eh!
Shubie: Uh!
SpongeBob: Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me. [More fish make annoyed noises. Once SpongeBob reaches the end, the scene changes to the interior of the Krusty Krab. The scene shows several fish waiting on the door. SpongeBob Squeezes himself through the cracked between the doors and the ground. He enters the Krusty Krab. He lands in the arms of a red greedy crab.] Reporting for duty, sir.
[SpongeBob salutes him. The crab puts SpongeBob down in a seat next to an turquoise octopus.]
Eugene Harold Krabs: Sit down, boy.
SpongeBob: Happy eleventy-seventh, Squidward.
Mr. Krabs: [Walking past the table] Today's a big a day for the Krusty Krab. [Mr, Krabs ends up at a button.] So I want yous to listen up. [He pushes the button. It causes a shield to go around the Krusty Krab.] It's a perfect opportunity for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formula.
[Mr. Krabs pulls a lever that looks like a handle on a table. It causes a panel to open. The table goes down the panel and is replaced by a hologram table. It turns on a hologram of the Krusty Krab.]
Squidward J. Q. Tentacles: Isn't that just the Krusty Krab?
Mr. Krabs: No. It's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances.
Squidward: You mean the front door and the back door?
[Mr. Krabs pushes a button on the hologram table.]
Mr. Krabs: Those are just the ones on the surface. [The hologram expands to show the duct work.] There is an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground and I want all eyes on the look out!
SpongeBob: Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.
[Eyes grow on SpongeBob, filling his holes.]
Mr. Krabs: Right. Study the map, stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward.
Squidward: What? I have never fallen asleep on duty.
Mr. Krabs: Don't make me have a flashback.
[A flashback begins. It shows Squidward sleeping at his station. Fred is on the other side of the Cash register. The scene changes to show SpongeBob opening the Krusty Krab broom closet to find Squidward sleeping. The scene changes to show a close shot of Frankie Billy about to eat a patty at the Krusty Krab. The shot widens to show Squidward sleeping on Frankie Billy's table. It also reveals that Frankie Billy is dining with Nancy. The scene changes to show a close shot of the sink in the Krusty Krab kitchen. Bubbles are coming out of the sink and Squidward's snoring is heard. The shot widens to show Squidward with his head in the sink. The scene changes to show SpongeBob on a Krusty Krab stall and reading a newspaper. Squidward's snores are heard. SpongeBob looks into the stall next to his and sees Squidward holding a newspaper and sleeping. The flashback ends.]
Squidward: All right, point taken.
[Mr. Krabs turns off the hologram.]
Mr. Krabs: And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security.
[A dark figure is shown in the corner. He walks into the light. It is revealed to be a pink, tubby starfish. He has an angry look on his face. He smacks his fist into his palm.]
Squidward: [While he is walking to them] You hired Patrick?
Mr. Krabs: What, you expect me to spend money on a real security guard? You are my first line of defense, Patrick. So, look out for any suspiciorous characters.
Patrick Star: [No longer having an angry face. Saluting.] Yes, sir. [Patrick surveys the area. He sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall] Who are you, and who are you working for?!
Mr. Krabs:[laughing] Plankton doesn't stand a chance.

[The scene changes to show the exterior of the Chum Bucket. It has a banner on it that reads, "Celebrating 50 years of failure." The scene pans in. As it pans in, the doors open and an image of the dining area is shown and it pans into that. The scene fades to a wide shot of the lab. A computer is show in her form and a tiny thing is show at his desk.]
Sheldon J. Plankton: [As it is still panning in] It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, [The scene changes to show a medium shot of Plankton at his desk.] I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! [The scene changes to show a closer shot of Plankton. He tears up.] I give up, Karen. Krabs has won!
Karen Plankon: [Off-Screen] Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. [On-Screen] Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number.
Plankton: Oh, yeah? You try getting launched.
Karen: Oh, right, the launchings. [Her face is replaced by a loading bar and the word "accessing" above it.] I've got them all on my hard drive.
[The scene shows, on Karen's monitor, Mr. Krabs in a baseball uniform, exiting the Krusty Krab. The scene shifts to show just the scene. Mr. Krabs pushes Plankton into the air. Mr. Krabs does this with a glove that he is wearing. Mr. Krabs spits and then throws Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' claw putting down a golf tee. He puts Plankton on the tee. He is then shown in a golf outfit, holding a golf club. He then prepares to hit Plankton.]
Mr. Krabs: Fore!
[Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket.]
Plankton: Ow!
[The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs riding on a seahorse, wearing a polo uniform, and holding a polo stick. Plankton is shown running. away from the polo stick. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding a slingshot with Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs is holding the slingshot back. Mr. Krabs releases the slingshot. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a hockey uniform holding a hockey stick. He is pushing Plankton on some ice that is outside of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs with a curling stone that has Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs pushes the curling stone on the ice. SpongeBob takes a broom and sweeps and walks backwards until he reaches the Chum Bucket. Plankton screams until he hits the Chum Bucket doors. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob in football uniforms. SpongeBob is holding Plankton horizontally in front of Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs runs up and kicks Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. There is a goal post painted on the Chum Bucket. SpongeBob pops and puts both his arms horizontally in the air, signally that Mr. Krabs got the point. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding Plankton, walking outside the Krusty Krab.]
Mr. Krabs: I'm tired today, Plankton. [He drops Plankton.] You're just gonna have to launch yourself.
[Mr. Krabs walks back inside. Plankton tears up. He walks to the Chum Bucket and hits his head on the door.]
Plankton: Splat.
[Plankton begins to cry. Karen's laughing is heard. The scene pans out to show the scene on Karen's monitor. The scene shifts to not-recording Plankton.]
Plankton: Karen?!
[The footage is removed and replaced with Karen]
Karen: I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh.
[Plankton jumps off his desk.]
Plankton: It's just no use!
Karen: [Off-Screen] Today's the [On-Screen] perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this.
Plankton: You really think so?
Karen: Of course, I do. Now who's my big man?
Plankton: Oh, Karen.
Karen: Come on. Come on. Who's my big strong man?
Plankton: I am.
Karen: That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe.
Plankton: [Saluting Karen] Yes, Ma'am!

[The scene changes to show fish outside of the Krusty Krab.]
Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
[The scene changes to show a close up shot of the numbers on the Galley Grub menu.]
Mr. Krabs: [Off-Screen] Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. [Mr. Krabs' claw holding a pencil appears and he starts adding decimal points after the first zero in the prices and adding an extra zero at the end of the prices as he talks.] Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. [He chuckles. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs on a ladder next to the Galley Grub.] Oh, number zero, how I love you so. [Squidward walks into frame and Mr. Krabs starts to walk down the ladder.] SpongeBob!
[The scene shifts to show a similar scene as before, but with the frame moved down. SpongeBob runs into the frame.]
SpongeBob: Yes, Sir?
[Mr. Krabs finishes climbing down the ladder.]
Mr. Krabs: I'm putting you in charge of decorations.
[Mr. Krabs scribbles something on his clipboard.]
SpongeBob: Oh, but Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Yes boy?
SpongeBob: I thought you said that I would be in charge of decorations.
Mr. Krabs: What? But you are.
SpongeBob: I am? [SpongeBob flings his arms in the air] Yay! [SpongeBob runs around with his arms in the air.] Yeah! Yeah!
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! I had chores for you, but you won't do 'em anyway.
Squidward: It only took you eleventy-seven years for you to figure that out?
[The scene shows SpongeBob next to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs takes out two quarters.]
Mr. Krabs: Here's your budget, boy. [He gives SpongeBob the quarters.] Decorate it any way you want.
SpongeBob: Wow! Fifty cents!
Squidward: You’re letting SpongeBob decorate? Remember all the other times SpongeBob decorated?
Squidward, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Hmm...
[A flashback begins. It shows the interior of the Krusty Krab with a western theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is the bone of a cow head. The floor looks like a desert. It has rocks and cacti on it. The lights have been replaced by a western-style chandelier. The metal wall has been replaced with a gray wood one. The doors have been replaced by saloon doors. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has wagon wheel next to it. The order window looks like an old style window with red shutters. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing a cowboy hat and holding a tray of food.]
SpongeBob: Yee-haw!
[SpongeBob laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a 1970s theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is a lava lamp. The floor is a rug. The window has green wallpaper with a pattern on it. The metal wall has orange and red striped wall paper on it. The lights have been replaced by a disco ball. The boxes that are in the rafters have been pained with a blue pattern. The doors have been replaced by bead entrances. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has carpet material around it. The order window has been painted to have a blue and red pattern. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing an Afro wig and holding a tray of food.]
SpongeBob: You come here often?
[SpongeBob laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a space theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. They are wearing space helmets. The tables have been replaced and the barrels have been replaced with moon craters which goes along with the moon floor. The window has space wallpaper on it. The lights have been replaced by images of Mars, a moon, and Saturn. The doors have been replaced by doors that have two sides and jagged edges and open up, instead of go outward. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The order boat looks similar to a moon rover. The metal wall has stars and a meteor. The order window looks similar to the doors. Squidward is wearing a space helmet. The order window opens and things and Squidward go through it. The scene then shows Squidward in space. He is screaming. He passes SpongeBob who is wearing his water helmet. He is cooking on his grill. He laughs. The flashback ends.]
Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs: Hmm...
[Mr. Krabs turns to Squidward.]
Mr. Krabs Well, you want want to do it, then?
Squidward: No.
Mr. Krabs: Then shut your porthole.
Squidward: Battening down the word hatches, sir.
[Squidward and Mr. Krabs walk away. SpongeBob looks at the two quarters. He smiles. He flies up into the air. The scene changes to show the inside of the bathroom. SpongeBob prances into the bathroom. He goes into a stall, takes out a pair of tongs and grabs the end of a pink toilet paper roll. The scene changes to the exterior of the bathroom. Squidward is walking by. SpongeBob runs out of the bathroom holding on to the tongs which are holding on to the toilet paper. Squidward stops. SpongeBob takes a piece of the toilet paper, twirls it around, and throws it up and swings on it. He swings around a pole, making the toilet paper look like a swirl on the pole. He lands on a table. The table spins around and ends up with bows on it. SpongeBob jumps in the air and lands between Patrick and Squidward. He twists the toilet paper around Patrick making him look muscular with a bow belt. Patrick flexes. SpongeBob twirls the toilet paper in the air and twists it around Squidward's head. He ends up with two bows on his head, which are connected to his mouth.]
Squidward: What? What are you...?
[SpongeBob pulls on one of the strings that is attached to the bow. It makes Squidward smile.]
SpongeBob: There we go.
[SpongeBob runs off twirling the toilet paper. He runs across the top and bottom of the main windows, giving them bows. He twirls the toilet paper and dances. The scene changes to show SpongeBob in the kitchen. He is stepping on a ketchup bottle and a mustard bottle. The scene shifts to show the back of SpongeBob. Above him, there is a banner that is written in ketchup and mustard. It reads, "Eleventy-Seventh Anniversary." The scene changes to show SpongeBob squeezing a mustard bottle. He is then show squeezing a mustard bottle. Part of either the bathroom or kitchen door is shown. It shows the mustard and the ketchup crossing over to look similar to a strand of DNA. The scene changes to show mustard going on a wall in a wave pattern. The scene changes to show a table. SpongeBob puts a design on the table. SpongeBob is then shown tip-toeing sideways while holding a bottle of mustard and ketchup. He then spins it around. The scene changes to show a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob puts a hose in the Krabby Patty. SpongeBob is then shown pushing a pressure handle. It inflates the Krabby Patty. The scene then shows Krabby Patties that are attached to string. They are on the ceiling. The last patty floats up. The scene pans out to show the decorated Krusty Krab. The banner is now in the dining area and the order boat has bows on it. The kitchen door is shown. He walks out. SpongeBob floats down to him on a Krabby Patty balloon. SpongeBob releases it and it floats away.]
SpongeBob: Your change, sir.
[SpongeBob gives Mr. Krabs the 2 quarters.]
Mr. Krabs: Good work boy. What, that's it?
[SpongeBob walks away. Mr. Krabs takes out his clipboard.]
Mr. Krabs: Decorations, check. Security?
[Patrick is shown standing outside the bathroom. Squidward leaves the bathroom. Patrick sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall. The scene returns to Mr. Krabs.]
Mr. Krabs: Check.
[The scene changes to show the exterior of the Krusty Krab. The crowd is chanting.]
Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! [The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' arm. He has a watch with money on it. The hand moves.] [Off-screen] We want Krabby Patties!
Mr. Krabs: [As the crowd is still saying, "We want Krabby Patties!"] Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior.
[SpongeBob and Squidward are shown sitting at a table. Squidward has his head down. By this point, the crowd has stopped.]
Squidward: Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Every word, Squidward, every word.
Mr. Krabs: So, let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties!
[SpongeBob is shown standing up]
SpongeBob: Yes! Yeah! Ooh, I almost forgot. Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one last decoration! [The scene changes to show the Kitchen, focused on the door. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Patrick walk to the freezer. SpongeBob pulls a bar that is holding the shut.] I present to you... [SpongeBob tries to open the freezer door, but it is difficult.] [Straining] I present to you... [He yells and pulls the handle off. It hits Squidward in the face. He falls over and twitches his leg. The scene changes to show a white cloud. It fades away and the four are shown looking into the freezer. Mr. Krabs and Squidward gasp.] ... my ode to the Krabby Patty [the scene shows a giant ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty on a pedestal.] made entirely out of ice.
Mr. Krabs: Yessh, boy. [The four walk into the freezer. The scene pans out to show how big the sculpture is.] This thing's enormous.
Squidward: [Shivering] And cold.
[The scene shows Mr. Krabs' claw on the backside of the sculpture.]
Mr. Krabs: All right, let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting.
[The scene shows Mr. Krabs, followed by Squidward and Patrick on the backside of the sculpture and SpongeBob on its front side.]
SpongeBob: Ready? Set? [SpongeBob pulls the sculpture while the other three push it. It does not move. Instead, SpongeBob goes flying. out the freezer. He bounces off the kitchen's front wall and enters the freezer again. The door closes after him. SpongeBob hits the sculpture's pedestal and slides to the floor. The other three stare at the freezer door. Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Patrick scream.] Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream.
[Squidward and Mr. Krabs scream and run to the freezer door. When they do so, they trample SpongeBob and Patrick. Squidward and Mr. Krabs start pounding on the door.]
Mr. Krabs: The door!
[The exterior of the freezer is shown. The door is extruding as the two pound on it. The scene shows Patrick and SpongeBob on the floor.]
SpongeBob: Oh, no. Patrick, stand up! [The two stand up.] We're locked in! [SpongeBob pulls Patrick close.] This is gonna spoil the eleventy-seventh anniversary.

[The scene changes to show the crowd outside.]
Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want...
[The scene returns to the exterior of freezer where Squidward and Mr. Krabs are still screaming and pounding on the door.]
Mr. Krabs: Somebody...
[The scene returns to the interior of the freezer.]
Mr. Krabs and Squidward: Anybody, I don't care who!
[The two stop pounding on the door.]
SpongeBob: How do we get out?
Mr. Krabs: Everybody calm down. I spent a lifetime working in this restaurant, and I know there's only one way out of here.
Patrick: A high school diploma?
Mr. Krabs: No, [The scene pans up to an air duct on the ceiling. It is right above the Krabby Patty Sculpture] the air duct. [A ladder falls on the side of the sculpture. Mr. Krabs walks up the ladder, goes to the air duct and takes off the cover. The scene changes to show the interior of an air duct. Mr. Krabs pops his walks in.] This way boys. [SpongeBob follows him. Squidward pops his head into the duct. Patrick, pops his head in too, but when he does, his head pushes Squidward up to the top of the duct. The scene shows the center of the duct system with ducts in every direction.] All we gotta to do is head through this duct.
Squidward: Which one? There must be 20 ways to go.
SpongeBob: Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized.
[SpongeBob turns around and grunts. His holes mash together and makes the map.]
Mr. Krabs: [While SpongeBob is still grunting] Uh, hmm, uh...
SpongeBob: [Stressed] Hurry up, guys, this kind of hurts.
Mr. Krabs: Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these three moldy tree stumps, then head towards that kidney-bean shaped puddle of gravy.
Squidward: That's not the map, you old barnacle. Those are [The scene zooms into SpongeBob's back, showing the three "stumps" and the "pile of gravy."] three moles and a birthmark.
Mr. Krabs: Oh. All right, [Mr. Krabs turns around and points to one of the vents] then, let's try this one.
[The scene changes to an area that shows the exterior of several vents. A bulge in the closest vent appears. The screaming of Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward is heard.]
Squidward: [Off-Screen] It's this way
[The bulge continues until it stops. The scream is heard again, but it is heard three times, each with an additional bulge to the vent.]
Patrick: Here it is.
[The bulge moves until it finds a vertical pipe, then falls quickly. The scene changes to show the interior of the vent. Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick fall past the scene, screaming. The scene changes to show the exterior of the pipes, except the one that the four are in is not the exterior. The four go through a few curves until they land in a large vent room. They way that they land is, Mr. Krabs on the right, then SpongeBob on top of Squidward, and Patrick lying on his belly on the left. Next to Mr. Krabs there is a yellow wrapper that says, "Krabby Patty" in blue and has a Krabby Patty.]
Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's this? [Mr. Krabs picks it up and the scene zooms in to show the wrapper clearly.] It's an old Krabby Patty wrapper. [The scene returns to the one before.] Aah, that takes me back to the good old days.
[The scene returns to the wrapper and fades to show a black and white scene. The animation is in the style of 1950s cartoons. The scene shows baby SpongeBob in front of a TV.]
TV Narrator (1950s): Now a word from our sponsor.
[SpongeBob leans towards the TV and screams in happiness. The scene shifts to the TV.]
Female Singers: [As the letters appear] ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y [The letters go up and down. The letters in the next part are not shown.] P-A-T-T-Y ♪
[A Krabby Patty falls on top of the letters.]
Male Singers: ♪ Bud dum dum dum dum ♪
[A bell rings]
Female Singers: ♪ Krabby Patty [The scene widens to show the Krabby Patty on a plate, which is being held by a young Mr. Krabs] give 'em a try ♪
[The scene changes to show SpongeBob's face]
Mr. Krabs: [Off-Screen] ♪ Come on down and... ♪
Mr. Krabs and the Female Singers: ♪ ...buy, buy, buy. ♪
[The scene changes to show a Krabby Patty]
Female Singers: ♪ Not just one or [The patty becomes smaller and a second patty appears] two or [The two patties become small and a third patty appears] three, but [The Krabby Patties spin left, getting smaller, and three more patties join them.] enough for the whole, [6 fish appear next to each patty.] family. ♪
[The scene changes to show a container of fries with "K K" on it, a Krabby Patty, and a soda container with "K K" on it.]
TV Narrator (1950s): [Off-Screen] Yes, folks, nine out of ten doctors recommend eating at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and a youthful, positive attitude.
[The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a doctor's office, wearing a doctor outfit.]
Doctor Krabs: [As the scene pans in] I'm a doctor... as far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life. [The panning stops] So, what are you waiting for? Go out and get yourself a Krabby Patty. [The scene changes to show a sack with "K K" on it.] [Off-Screen] Or go out and buy a Sackful of Krabbies. [The scene changes to show a crate with "K K" on it. The crate is full of Krabby Patties.] Or better yet, go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies. [The scene returns to "Dr. Krabs." He lifts up a Krabby Patty.] For your health.
[The scene changes to show SpongeBob. The scene changes to show "K."]
Female Singers: [As each letter goes on the screen individually] ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y [The scene changes to show the Soda, Krabby Patty, and Fries from earlier.] Krabby Patty. ♪
[The scene changes to show SpongeBob walking to the Krusty Krab. The scene changes to show the order boat and Squidward. He presses a button on the cash register and it opens. Six Krabby Patties appear. The scene changes to show a counter. SpongeBob pops his head above the counter. Margaret and Harold SquarePants run into the scene. Squidward comes into the scene with a plate of three Krabby Patties. SpongeBob starts grabbing for them. The octopus gives SpongeBob a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob eats the Patty and then hearts form in his eyes. The hearts get bigger and cover the screen. There is an old TV turning off and the flashback ends. Mr. Krabs sighs.]
Mr. Krabs: Back then, Krabby Patties only cost a dime. [Mr. Krabs gets angry and crumples up the wrapper.] It was a dark and [He throws the wrapper on the floor.] evil time. [Mr. Krabs' eyes are shown with a dime in each, where his pupils should be. He starts sweating.] I still have nightmares.
Squidward: [Crying] We'll never get out of here.
SpongeBob: Don't worry Squidward. We'll find a way out and then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do is stick together.
[The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick in a short vent. They are all close together. They are crawling along. The scene then shows a close shot of Patrick and Squidward. Patrick does some shallow breathing. Squidward gets angry. Squidward turns his head.]
Squidward: Stop breathing on my neck. Yuck.
[Patrick holds his breath. He strains more and more until he cannot take it anymore. He breaths and spit gets all over Squidward's face. The group stops. The scene shifts to show a medium shot of the group.]
Mr. Krabs: Hey, I think [He points ahead] I see the exit.
[The scene changes to show a red metal room. A circular door is shown. It starts turning. Mr. Krabs enters the room. A wider shot of the room is shown. It shows 11 TVs, a chair, and a control panel. One of the screens shows Conch Street. One of the screens shows the exterior of Patrick's rock. One of the screens shows the exterior of Mr. Krabs' anchor. One of the screens shows the exterior of the Chum Bucket. One of the screens shows the exterior of the Krusty Krab. One of the screens shows the exterior of a Treedome. One of the screens shows part of a bathroom. One of the screens shows part of downtown Bikini Bottom. One of the screens shows a lady screaming inside of the Barg'N-Mart. One of the screens shows Mr. Krabs' office. One of the screens shows the Krusty Krab kitchen.]
Mr. Krabs: Ah, barnacles. It's just the Surveillance Room.
[Mr. Krabs walks inside. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward enter.]
SpongeBob: Oh. My house is on TV.
Squidward: All of our houses are on TV.
[Mr. Krabs backs away until he is out of frame. A TV is shown. It shows SpongeBob's bedroom. Gary is jumping on SpongeBob's bed.]
Gary: Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.
SpongeBob: [while Gary meows] Gary the Snail, you get down from that bed this instant.
Patrick: [pointing to another TV] Hey, there's my house.
[The screen shows the interior of Patrick's house, a rock. In it, there is a couch and a TV that has a Realistic Fish Head on it. The scene returns to the three boys.]
Squidward: You left your TV on.
Patrick: Well, duh. I don't want to miss my shows.
SpongeBob: [Pointing to a TV] Look, it's Sandy!
[The scene shows a TV that shows a land squirrel brushing her teeth in her bathroom.]
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, [He turns his head around] why do you have cameras watching us?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, uh... uh... uh... [He shrugs] I just want to make sure you all floss after every meal.
SpongeBob: Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important.
Patrick: [pointing to a screen] Hey, who are those guys?
[The scene shows the back of the group looking at the screen of themselves. Mr. Krabs walks back into frame.]
SpongeBob: I think it's us, Patrick. [The four turn around] But, who are they? [The screen shows a side view of the room. The four are shown on one side of the room and a cameraman and boom microphone operator are shown on the other. The boom microphone operator drops the boom microphone. He then lifts the cameraman up a vent that is located above them. The cameraman then lifts up the boom microphone operator. They leave. The scene changes to show SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs in front of the TVs. The Krusty Krab TV that shows the exterior shows the crowd of fish outside.]
Crowd: [On TV] We want Krabby Patties!
[Mr. Krabs gasps.]
Mr. Krabs: [While the crowd says, "We want Krabby Patties!"] Me customers are getting antsy.
[The Scene shows the outside of the Krusty Krab]
Crowd: ...Patties! We want Krabby Patties! [A line is shown, it then pans down to show that Plankton is between the fishes' legs] Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! [Plankton sneaks past the line] We want Krabby Patties!
[Plankton makes it to an exterior air vent. He squeezes in. He then sneaks inside an air vent. He sneaks into a hole and falls in. He screams. He hits parts of vents. The scene changes to show another vent.]
Mr. Krabs: [Off-screen] We're [On screen with the rest of the group] getting warm. I can feel it.
SpongeBob: That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs.
[The scene shows a fork in the vents. The scene returns to the four.]
Mr. Krabs: Hmm, a crossroads. [Mr. Krabs points to the right] I'll go this way, and SpongeBob, [He points to the left] you lead them down that way.
[Mr. Krabs enters the right path]
SpongeBob: Lead them? I can finally [He takes off his Krusty Krab hat and takes out a a Tyrolean hat and puts it on.] use my leader hat... [The scene shows SpongeBob wearing sock garters.] and my lederhosen.
Patrick: Nice.
Squidward: Those are just sock garters, you idiot.
SpongeBob: Follow me!
[The three start moving.]
Squidward: This is not happening. It's just not happening.
[Mr. Krabs is shown going down the right path. The other three are shown going down the left path. Their path ends with a dead end. They try to move forward, but start struggling.]
SpongeBob: Guys, its a dead end.
[The vent breaks and the three start screaming. They fall.]

[The scene changes to show Plankton falling through the pipes. He falls through another vent grate into a vent.]
Plankton: Thank Neptune that's over. [SpongeBob is heard screaming of screen]
[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward fall through the top of the vent and land on Plankton. Squidward and Patrick lift their heads up. Plankton manages to get out from under the three. He is dizzy. He recovers from being dizzy.]
Plankton: SpongeBob! Aggh! [Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob are shown. They are all sitting up. SpongeBob puts his work hat back on.] Why must you always ruin my plans?
SpongeBob: Plankton, [He lift Plankton up] you're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again.
Plankton: Uh, I didn't, uh... Okay fine. You caught me. You happy now?
SpongeBob: You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories.
Plankton: Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me.
SpongeBob: Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office.
[A flashback begins. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in Mr. Krabs' office.]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you've been working here for a while now, so I think I can trust you. It's time I told you.
[SpongeBob screams and gasps.]
SpongeBob: You mean?
[Mr. Krabs' lips are shown.]
Mr. Krabs: Yes. The Krabby Patty formular. Follow me, son. [Mr. Krabs puts his arm around SpongeBob and they start walking.] We need to go where no one will ever hear us. [They walk out of the Krusty Krab. They are shown leaving Bikini Bottom. They are shown going through a jungle. They are wearing safari explorer clothing. They are shown going a desert. They are wearing desert clothing. They are shown on the seas in a storm. They are wearing rain coats and hats. They are shown crossing a bridge in the mountains. They are shown climbing up a mountain. They are wearing winter clothing. They are shown walking up to flat land. They are tired and dirty.] Ugh. We finally made it. [Mr. Krabs pushes SpongeBob ahead quickly until they reach the back of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs opens the door.] Quick, into me office before anyone sees us.
[The door closes. The flashback ends. Plankton is shown in SpongeBob's hand.]
Plankton: What? You went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay in the Krusty Krab?
SpongeBob: We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then, Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe.
Plankton: Yes? Go on.
[The flashback resumes. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in the Krusty Krab. They are cleaned up.]
Mr. Krabs: Now, remember, you can never tell another living soul.
Plankton: [Off-Screen] Wait! [The scene expands it shows Mr. Krabs in a thought bubble connected to SpongeBob. Plankton has a pen.] Wait! Hold on!
Mr. Krabs: [Holding on to the edge of the bubble] What's that?
Plankton: My pen is out of ink. [Plankton tries to get the pen to work. Eventually, it works.] Okay, okay, go ahead.
Mr. Krabs: Plankton. [He grabs Plankton.] You'll never have get me formula. [He squishes Plankton up like a ball.] Not even in a flashback.
[Mr. Krabs laughs and throws Plankton through another grate. Plankton falls through the pipes again. The scene returns to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward. Mr. Krabs has joined the group.]
Squidward: SpongeBob, if you had never come to Bikini Bottom, this wouldn't be happening-
[Squidward realizes something and smiles.]
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's with the creepy smile?
Squidward: I was just [he chuckles] remembering the world before SpongeBob.
[He laughs a flashback begins. Squidward is shown sleeping in his bed. He wakes up, takes a deep breath, yawns, and stretches out his arm tentacles. He jumps out of bed. He opens the window. He takes out a watering can and waters a plot of land that is where SpongeBob's house should be. Flowers with faces pop out of the ground.]
Flowers: Morning, Squidward.
[Squidward is shown in his doorway. There is a rainbow above his house and scallops are floating around the rainbow. Squidward sniffs and then sighs contently. He skips out of his house. He then twirls. Presents fall around him. One part opens like a door and Squidward rides his recumbent bicycle. He rides until he hits a rock. He flies out of the bicycle. His helmet also falls off revealing Squidward's Krusty Krab hat. He hits the door to the Krusty Krab. The door opens. He walks to his station while getting his balance back. He passes a line of customers. He listens into the Kitchen and then looks in. A brown fish is shown.]
Squidward: Good morning, Not SpongeBob.
[Squidward lifts up Not SpongeBob and kisses him on the forehead. He runs to the front of his station. He puts his arm tentacles on the top of the cash register and sighs. SpongeBob's laughing his heard, which makes Squidward cringe. The scene changes to show the group in modern day. SpongeBob is laughing. SpongeBob grabs Squidward's head and pulls it next to his.]
SpongeBob: But, Squidward, you're glad I moved in. Remember that day? [A flashback begins. SpongeBob is shown with Patty Rechid, a female lavender-colored fish. SpongeBob has his hand on his "chin." A shoe house is shown.] Uh-uh. [A castle in a fishbowl is shown.] Nah. [A toilet house is shown.] Ew.
[The scene moves upwards to the surface of the water. a boat is shown. The boat turns. The side of the boat is shown. A pineapple falls off the boat. It falls into the water. Patrick and Squidward's houses are shown next to a garden, where SpongeBob house should be. Squidward leaves his house and goes over to the garden. He takes a deep breath, sighs, and starts working. SpongeBob and Patty walk by. They are sad.]
Patty Rechid: Okay, well, that's every available house in Bikini Bottom.
[They look up to see the pineapple. Squidward stops working.]
Squidward: My secret garden is finally done.
[The pineapple falls on Squidward. He cuts out a hole so that he can leave. It is in the same place where SpongeBob's door should be. Squidward falls down.]
Patty Rechid: Oh yeah, I forgot about that one.
[The pineapple house is shown fully formed.]
SpongeBob: It's beautiful. [He gives Patty a large bag of money] I'll take it. [He walks forward. Patty is happy. Squidward gets up.] [As he is walking] Howdy, neighbor! [He stops walking.] I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. [He hugs Squidward.] And we're going to be bestest friends. [Patrick walks into the scene.] Hey, Patrick. Guess who just moved in right next door?
Patrick: Neighbor hug!
[Patrick hugs Squidward and SpongeBob. Squidward groans. The flashback ends to show the group, except Mr. Krabs, hugging. They are in a different part of the vent than before.]
Crowd: [Off-Screen] We want Krabby Patties! We Want [Mr. Krabs turns his head and gasps.] Krabby Patties!
Mr. Krabs: What's the sound? [Mr. Krabs looks through a hole in the ventilation wall. The scene shows a hole in the Krusty Krab with Mr. Krabs' eye behind it. He gasps.] Customers!
[The scene widens to show a large crowd of fish outside the Krusty Krab.]
Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want to spend money!
Harold: What do we want?
Crowd: Krabby Patties!
Harold: Why do want them?
Crowd: To spend money!
Mr. Krabs: Oh no. All that loose change out there [He takes out his wallet] is driving me wallet mad with money lost. [It barks and then pants.] Poor little guy's starving. [He then puts his wallet through the hole.] There you go, boy. You're free. Go towards the money boy. Towards the money!
[The wallet falls in front of the Krusty Krab doors. a fish walks by.]
Dave: Hey, a wallet! [He picks it up and opens it.] And there's 50 bucks in it. All right!
[Dave walks away, holding it in the air. The scene returns to the vents.]
Mr. Krabs: Hey! Oh no! [He starts crying.] What am I going to do? [He stops crying.] We gotta get out of here. Now!
SpongeBob: Oh. If only Sandy were here. She could help us.
Patrick: Oh! Hey, maybe we can use this. [He goes into his pants a takes out a walkie talkie.] I borrowed it from Sandy's treedome. It might be our way outta here. Shh! Everybody quiet! [Shouts] Hey, Sandy, I got your radio! If you want it back, come and get it! She'll come.
[Patrick pats the walkie talkie.]
Squidward: Oh, give me that. [He takes the Walkie Talkie. He tunes it.] Sandy, come in, Sandy.
Sandra "Sandy" Jennifer Olivia Cheeks: [Off-Screen] Sandy Cheeks here. [The scene changes to show the exterior of Sandy's Treedome.] So, it was [The scene changes to show Sandy] you who stole my other radio, Squidward!
[The scene returns to the vents.]
Squidward: What? No. I'm just-- I...
[Patrick screams.]
Patrick: Sandy's trapped in that box! [Patrick grabs the walkie talkie and throws it on the ground, breaking it.] Sandy?
[Squidward growls. SpongeBob sighs.]
SpongeBob: Remember the day Sandy and I got married?
[The other three gasp.]
Mr. Krabs: What?!
Squidward: No!
Patrick: I'm freaking out!
SpongeBob: Mm-hmm...
[A flashback starts. Mrs. Puff, a female pufferfish is shown playing the organ. Sandy is shown in a wedding dress. She starts to walk down the aisle. The scene changes to show SpongeBob at the end of the aisle with a wedding officiant. Patrick is near SpongeBob. One each side of the aisle there is a crowd of people, including Mr. Krabs and Pearl, a sperm whale. Sandy finishes walking down the aisle.]
Wedding officiant: Friends, we have gathered here today to join these two hearts [The crowd is shown] in the bonds of love. [Plankton is shown. He looks up. The scene widens to shown Karen in her mobile form. She looks at Plankton. The scene returns to SpongeBob, Sandy and the wedding officiant] SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife?
SpongeBob: I do.
Wedding officiant: And Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband?
Sandy: And how!
Wedding officiant: Well then, I now pronounce you sponge and squirrel. You may kiss the bride.
[The wedding officiant walks away backwards. SpongeBob sprays breath spray into his mouth. He straightens his bow tie. SpongeBob and Sandy lean in and SpongeBob kisses Sandy's helmet. SpongeBob and Sandy look at the crowd. A light breaks and falls down, nearly hitting SpongeBob and Sandy. The scene shows the crowd. They are all angry.]
Frank (red shirt): Boo! You stink!
Mr. Krabs: Worst play I've ever seen. [The scene changes to shows part of the exterior of the Recreation Center. There is a sign that reads, "Tonight" and below that "The Marriage of SpongeBob" and below that there is an image of SpongeBob's head with a bow tie. The audience starts to leave.] And a total rip-off!
Fish: What has happened to the theater?
[The scene then shows a wide shot of the Recreation Center. There is a sign that reads, "Tonight Only The Marriage of SpongeBob"]
Another Fish: Lousy costumes.
[The scene returns to the interior. SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and the wedding officiant remain.]
Wedding officiant: I didn't know this was a play.

[The scene changes to show the crowd of fish outside of the Krusty Krab.]
Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
[The scene shows SpongeBob in the vent.]
SpongeBob: And we didn't even get to celebrate the Krusty Krab's eleventy-seventh anniversary. We missed what could have been the greatest party ever!
Patrick: Hmm. You guys ready to give up?
Mr. Krabs: Yes.
Squidward: Yes.
Patrick: And I'll just write my... myself down here for... for giving up too. Right, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick! I don't wanna give up.
Patrick: Ooh, I know. Uh, let's just say are tearful farewells and solemn last words.
Mr. Krabs: I didn't make any money.[crying]
Squidward: I never made anyone sick with envy. [crying]
Patrick: I didn't get to sleep in [He sobs.] this morning!
SpongeBob: Guys, we can't give up now! We got into this mess together, and we'll get out of it the same way.
Patrick: Through the freezer?
SpongeBob: No, by using our heads.
Mr. Krabs: To concoct an elaborate escape plan?
[SpongeBob gasps.]
SpongeBob: No! [He snaps his fingers.] As a battering ram. [SpongeBob takes some ventilation and puts it around Mr. Krabs. He tips Mr. Krabs over. He does the same thing with the other two. He puts them together to make a battering ram. He lifts them up.] Hup.
[He Charges at the door. The exterior of the pipe is shown. It is in the dining area.]
Patrick: [Off-Screen] Owie!
Squidward: [Off-Screen] Ow!
Mr. Krabs: [Off-Screen] Ow!
[SpongeBob rams again]
Patrick: [Off-Screen]Owie!
Squidward: [Off-Screen] Ow!
Mr. Krabs: [Off-Screen] Ow!
[SpongeBob rams again]
Patrick: [Off-Screen] Owie!
Squidward: [Off-Screen] Ow!
Mr. Krabs: [Off-Screen] Ow!
SpongeBob: [Off-Screen] Okay. This is the one. Feel very good about this. Okay. Ready?
[SpongeBob rams again and they scream as they all fall out.]
Mr. Krabs: Oh boy, we made it out! [He jumps in the air.] Woo-hoo! [He runs out of frame] Money! Money! Money! Money! [Mr. Krabs is opens one of the doors.] Come on in folks. [The scene shows that no one is at the Krusty Krab.] No need to shove. Plenty of room for all your money! and i-... Gasp! Where are all me customers? [Mr. Krabs walks outside.] They left...? With all their money?!
[He wails. SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick walk to the door. Squidward joins Mr. Krabs outside.]
Squidward: We went through all that for nothing?!
[SpongeBob and Patrick join Mr. Krabs and Squidward outside.]
SpongeBob: Oh, it was not for nothing, Squidward. I spent the whole day with my best friends. [He hugs Squidward.] You, Squidward. [He points to Patrick] And you, Patrick.
Patrick: What now?
[SpongeBob runs over to Mr. Krabs, who is still crying]
SpongeBob: And let's not forget the man who made it all possible. Mr. Krabs. What could be better?
Mr. Krabs: [sobs slowly before stopping] Money?
SpongeBob: ♪ Oh! ♪
Squidward: Oh, no. He's not going to sing.
SpongeBob: ♪ Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab. Your Krabby Patties from the grill. [He walks forward.] The smell of grease gives me a thrill. [He walks to the Krusty Krab sign] Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh, how I love you, Krusty Krab. [The scene with Mr. Krabs changing the prices, from earlier is shown.] With prices high [The scene changes to show a Krabby Patty under a magnifying glass. The magnifying glass is removed and it is shown in SpongeBob's hand. It is as small as his fingers.] and your portions small. [The scene changes to show SpongeBob next to a mustard stain on a Krusty Krab wall. He licks it.] The stains of mustard on the wall. [The scene returns to SpongeBob, who is outside. The scene shows an angle that has the Krusty Krab sign be close in the shot and SpongeBob further away.] Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. Oh, how I love you, [He starts to bow.] Krusty Krab. [A bus stop is shown. Nat, Dale, Frankie Billy, and an anchovy are shown. They hear the song and walk to the Krusty Krab. Harold and Thaddeus are shown at the scene of an accident between their two boats. They are arguing with each other.] Oh Krusty Krab, oh Krusty Krab. [They stop disliking each other and walk to the Krusty Krab.] Oh, how I love ya, [Officer John is chasing a robber near the First Nautical Bank.] Krusty Krab. [Officer John catches the robber.] Oh Krusty Krab, [They hear the singing and stop.] oh [They start to become friends and skip to the Krusty Krab.] Krusty Krab. [The scene changes to show Nancy at her house with Timmy who is crying and won't eat the food she is trying to feed him.] Oh, how I [She hears the song and leaves. Blue Fred walks in as Timmy knocks over the bowl.] love you, Krusty Krab. ♪
[SpongeBob hums as more fish approach the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs sobs a bit]
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, look.
Mr. Krabs: Me customers? They're coming back?! SpongeBob's dopey little song is bringing 'em back!
[He laughs. The customers join in on the humming. ]
SpongeBob: Oh, Krusty Krab, you've always been there for me. When I'm tired and hungry, I just reach out my hand, and there you are with a Krabby Patty that's all so hot and juicy. Are you with me, people?!
Crowd: Yeah!
SpongeBob: I said, are you with me, people?!
Crowd: Yeah!
SpongeBob: In that case, let's get some Krabby Patties!
[Inside the Krusty Krab, Plankton opens the kitchen door.]
Plankton: There's no one here. The Krusty Krab is empty. I've won! [He runs off screen and comes back with the secret formula.] The Krabby formula is mine. [He runs with it.] It took eleventy-seven years, but I got it! [He stops.] Oh no. [SpongeBob, followed by the customers, runs in.] No! [He is kicked, causing him to fly away. He screams. He hits a table then the wall, then the cash register boat, then one of the pillars, he roles until Dale kicks him, causing him to fly up and hit a pillar. Another customer kicks him into the pillar. Nancy kicks him into the pillar. Another customer kicks him into the pillar. He starts rolling] Oh, nuts.
SpongeBob: [While walking with a plate of Krabby Patties] Did somebody order a Krabby...? [SpongeBob starts slipping on the bottle.] Whoa! [SpongeBob screams. He tries to keep his balance he rolls off frame and all around the Krusty Krab until he reaches the table again.] Look out. Oh. Oh, coming through. Whoa. Ooh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[SpongeBob regains his balance, the bottle goes rolling, and the plate lands on the table with the patties in tact.]
Martha, Frankie Billy, and Bill: Hooray!
Mr. Krabs: Ah, 'tis a beautiful sight. It warms me heart. [The bottle rolls into the scene. Mr. Krabs gasps.] Me Krabby Patty recipe! What's it [Mr. Krabs picks it up.] doin' out here? Whoa-ho! Shoulda known! Plankton.
Plankton: Hey Krabs. uh, happy eleventy-seventh?
[Mr. Krabs peels Plankton off the bottle.]
Mr. Krabs: It's launchin' time.
[Mr. Krabs take Plankton outside.]
Plankton: Please, Krabs, no! I can't take it anymore! No more launching, please?!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, all right. Since I'm such in a good mood, I'll go easy on you this time. [Mr. Krabs stretches Plankton. Plankton screams. Mr. Krabs blows Plankton up like a balloon. He then ties a string on him.] There. [He lets go of Plankton. He floats.] Happy landings, Plankton!
Plankton: You know, this isn't so bad. Everyone looks like little ants from up here! [He starts laughing evilly three times.] Wait. Help!
[The scene returns to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Stay away from the high-tension wires! [Dave walks by.] Allow me to open the door for a valued customer.
Dave: Gee, thanks, mister. Today must be my lucky day. I found a wallet with 50 bucks in it.
Mr. Krabs: Wow, that's some coincidence 'cause I just lost one earlier today with 50 bu...! Hey! Wait a minute! Come back with me wallet, ya thieving bilge rat!
[SpongeBob is shown flipping patties.]
SpongeBob: Happy anniversary, Krusty Krab.
[He continues to work. The Krusty Krab is shown with cars in the parking lot. SpongeBob laughs.]

Episode 8[edit]

Pineapple Fever [7.8a][edit]

Squidward: WHOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO! SO LONG, SUCKERS! [falling] Oof! Oh, curse you, Preflumster! OOF! OH, CURSE YOU PREFLUMSTER!

Chum Caverns [7.8b][edit]

Mr. Krabs: Satisfied with yourself, Plankton! Now you've trapped us all underground!
Fish #5: But at least we're trapped in a good restaurant!
Mr. Krabs: Capturing customers! I should've though of it sooner, but without Squidward, I need someone to work the register. [Cut to Plankton and a cave creature working the register. The creature raises its whip]
Cave Dweller #2: AAUUGGHHH!

The Clash of Triton [7.9][edit]

Sadie: Did you hear that? Neptune said it was all because of that guy! [citizens with torches, pitchforks, splinters, and other weapons form a mob with the damaged city in the background]
Policeman: He did, did he?
Patrick: Uh... SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?
Patrick: Do you think now's a good time to get those Triple Gooberry Sundays you were talking about?
SpongeBob: I think now would be an excellent time, yes. [the episode ends with he and Patrick screaming whilst getting chased by the angry mob]

Episode 10[edit]

Tentacle-Vision [7.10a][edit]

Patrick: [laughing] My shorts are wet!

Squidward: Patrick, just how dumb are you?
Patrick: It varies.

I love Dancing [7.10b][edit]

Squidward: [upon seeing SpongeBob dancing] That is the stupidest dance I've ever seen.
SpongeBob: [to Squidward] Who put you on the planet?

Twin Sisters: [singing] We're tiny, we're cuddly, we're bubbly, wubbly, huggly!
Talent Agent: That was very cute, girls! [then annoyed] In fact, it's too cute. You're out.
Twin Sisters: I told you it was a stupid idea... and I hate you, too!

Episode 11[edit]

Growth Spout [7.11a][edit]

Cracker: What am I, chopped liver?
Offscreen voice: No, that's what I am. [zoom out showing a jar of chopped liver]

Mrs. Puff: [in her sleep] Must...protect garden.

Squidward's house: Oh, well. I needed to lose a little weight anyway.

Stuck in the Wringer [7.11b][edit]

SpongeBob: I guess crying does solve your problems after all.

Episode 12[edit]

Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy [7.12a][edit]

The Inside Job [7.12b][edit]

[Plankton unplugs SpongeBob's ear drum]
Plankton: Let me see what I can tune in here. Hmm.
Mr. Krabs: The secret of the Krabby Patty formula is-
Plankton: Jackpot!
Spongebob: Huh?
Mr, Krabs: I said-
SpongeBob: Could you speak a little louder, please?
Mr. Krabs: The secret to the Krabby Patty formula-
SpongeBob: What?
Mr. Krabs: Hold on.
Plankton: Here it comes!
Mr. Krabs: [shouting into a megaphone] THE SECRET TO THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS...! [The shouting causes Plankton's ears to pop]
Plankton: OW! I hate my life!

Plankton: Enough with these petty carnal senses. If I'm going to get the Krabby Patty recipe...[he arrives at...] The brain!
[Snickering evily, he sticks one end of the mind connector to the brain and absorbs some of it]
Plankton: Hi, friend! [he gasps as he saw "Superficial Greetings" on the brain] "Superficial Greetings"? What kind of idiot...? [sees the parts of the brain] -"Personal Opinions"? "Knock-knock Jokes"?! No, no, no, no! This is all useless!

Episode 13[edit]

Greasy Buffoons [7.13a][edit]

Mr. Krabs/Plankton: Oh, no! Did somebody call the Health inspector?
Health inspector: Did somebody call a... Health inspector?

Model Sponge [7.13b][edit]

Episode 14[edit]

Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful [7.14a][edit]

A Pal for Gary [7.14b][edit]

[SpongeBob sees little puffy fish being sold by a peddler, and becomes enticed by them and decides to get one of them for Gary]
SpongeBob: I'll take that one right there!
Store Owner: You wish to have one of my rare and extremely dangerous... huh?
SpongeBob: Oh yeah this is the one. [picks one of them]
Store Owner: Beware, boy, this is no ordinary pet!
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary's gonna be so happy!
Store Owner: You must understand. These pets can be very unstable. especially around other pets!
[She proves this by showing a picture of a cat next to another puffy fish, who snarls at it.]
SpongeBob: [obliviously] Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, bye. [he runs off]
Store Owner: Why bother? They never listen.

SpongeBob: Ahh. I can rest so peacefully, now that Gary's got a good pal they could play with.
[Just as he goes to sleep, Gary bursts through the door, scared and meowing in alarm, causing him to wake up with a start.]
SpongeBob: Gary! Shame on you! [takes Gary back in the living room] Puffy Fluffy is perfectly harmless. [he takes the blanket off, revealing what he thinks is normal Puffy Fluffy] See there he is fast asleep. Now will you let me sleep, Gary, please? [sets Gary back on a small green bed and covers him with a small blanket] Good night. [goes back to bed]

[After SpongeBob wakes up and notices the damage to the house, thanks to Puffy Fluffy]
SpongeBob: Huh? What's this? Must have been a sea quake last night. Oh well, what are you gonna do? [opens the galley door which falls over] That's unusual. WHOA! [sees the library which is a total wreck] My library! [gasps] And my prized memoirs of T.S. Halibut! [gasps] My clothes! [picks up his torn pants] This was no random sea quake, Who could have done this? Why, there was no one here except... [mistakenly realizes something] ...Gary. I bet he's jealous about the new friend!

Episode 15[edit]

Yours, Mine and Mine [7.15a][edit]

Patrick: Uh, I'm not home right now! Please leave a message! Beeeep...
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's me! SpongeBob! It's my turn to play with the toy!
Patrick: I can't go out! I just washed my hair!
SpongeBob: You don't have any h-come out, Patrick! It's MY turn!
Patrick: Got any ID?
SpongeBob: I have my milkshake dispenser operator license.
Patrick: [looks at it] Looks fake to me pal! Bye-Bye now!
SpongeBob: Well, I guess I had best be going! [Pretends to walk away] I'm walking away...Here I go... [quietly] I'm gone now! [hides on Patrick's antenna]
Patrick: You sure?
SpongeBob: I'm sure! [Patrick comes out, he jumps at him] Hi, Patrick! Time to SHARE!
Patrick: DECEIVER! You didn't leave at all!
SpongeBob: Oh, and you were washing your hair!?!
Patrick: I was too, See? [shows his armpit hair]

SpongeBob: [Surprised] Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!
Patrick: Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary!
Gary: Meow. [turns and slithers back into SpongeBob's house]
SpongeBob: Hand it over, Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today!
Patrick: You can't take it, It's not fair!
SpongeBob: How about I take it for half a day?
Patrick: Mm-mm!
SpongeBob: How about we trade off every hour?
Patrick: Mm-mm!
SpongeBob: Every half hour?
Patrick: Mm-mm!
SpongeBob: Every fifteen minutes?
Patrick: Mm-mm!
SpongeBob: Five minutes?
Patrick: Mm-mm!
SpongeBob: One minute?
Patrick: N-n-no!
SpongeBob: Okay then, for our final offer we trade off every second!
[They pass Patty Pal back and fourth every second]
Patrick: One.
SpongeBob: One.
Patrick: One.
[Pause, Patrick runs off while SpongeBob tears himself angrily]

Kracked Krabs [7.15b][edit]

Mr. Krabs:: Lad, you're surrounded by stingy wisdom, so try to pick up some pointers. But whatever you do, don't lend anyone money!
SpongeBob:: [lending money to another crab] 25, 26...

Episode 16[edit]

The Curse of Bikini Bottom [7.16a][edit]

Squidward in Clarinetland [7.16b][edit]

Squidward: Order up, SpongeBob!
[walk towards SpongeBob]
Squidward: SpongeBob! What do you think you're doing? You're supposed to be fry cooking. I told you not to touch my stuff!
SpongeBob: I didn't! I wore protective gloves! And besides, don't you like how classy it look now?
Squidward: Velvet..
SpongeBob: Now I'd like to stand by and idly chat with you, Squidward, But I must attend to my Krusty Krab duties! In the future, please keep your interruptions to a minimum sir, please!

Squidward: Hey, come back! I need my clarinet! Come Back! Where are you? Sponge-
[bumps into an eagle head]
Eagle: I am the keeper of the horned forest, state your business here.
Squidward: uuhh.. I'm.. trying to find my clarinet.
Eagle: Your clarinet?
Squidward:: Yes, my clarinet! Which I am the proud owner.
[Eagle laughs]
Eagle: A clarinet is not owned. Why don't you tell me why you're really here?
Squidward: You calling me a LIAR?!
[Eagle grabs Squidward with his tongue]
Eagle: I don't appreciate your tone.
Squidward: I'm sorry I-I-I didn't mean to offend you.
Eagle: This is a sacred place where clarinets live without persecution. You need to learn respect.
Squidward: [Eagle squeezed squidward tightly] I've learned.. [loosely] I've learned respect...
Eagle: I don't believe you.
[Swallows Squidward and he ends up in the stomach, Squidward sees SpongeBob]

SpongeBob's Last Stand [7.17][edit]

SpongeBob: Okay everyone, say goodbye to the worst thing that's happened to this town since 97 cent stores.
Everyone: YEAH! [SpongeBob tries to break the highway with the tractor, but it just stopped]
Plankton: Good effort, Spongedope, but you can't tear up my highway, it's indestructible!
Larry Lobster: Not if we have anything to do with it!
SpongeBob: Larry Lobster!
Larry Lobster: That's right, pal, but that's not all. [Sandy walks out from the crowd, waving]
SpongeBob: Sandy Squirrel! [Mrs. Puff walks out of the crowd] Mrs. Puff! [Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy both walk out from the crowd] Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy! [Patrick walks walk out from the crowd] Patrick!
Patrick: Su-Su-Su-Su!
SpongeBob: And Squidward! [Squidward doesn't walk out from the crowd]
Fish 3: Nope, that's everybody!
Larry Lobster: Push! [He, Patrick, Mrs. Puff, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy and Sandy push] Harder! [They push harder]
SpongeBob: Harder still!
Fish 3: You heard the little square guy, yeah! [Everybody lines up behind the tractor and pushes it]
Plankton: Wait! I didn't count on all of you working together! [Everybody pushes hard enough that the highway breaks!] My highway! STOP! YOU CAN'T! [Plankton gets crushed by the tractor!]
Everyone: YEAH! [The arch over the Krusty Krab breaks down in a pile of dust and the smog clears]
Mr. Krabs: Praise Neptune.
SpongeBob: [Singing] Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!
Jellyfish: Clap!
SpongeBob: Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everyone sing along!
Jellyfish: Clap!
Everyone: [Singing] Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!
Jellyfish: Clap!
Everyone: Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly everyone siiiiinnnnggggg! [The camera zooms out and we cut to the Jellyfish Fields ranger]
Ranger: [bored voice] Everyone sing along. [switches the "closed" sign to "open," and then walks away]

Plankton: Observe in this conveniently timed flashback.

Episode 18[edit]

Back to the Past [7.18a][edit]

Mermaid Men:
#2: [running out of the time machine along with the second Barnacle Boy, Spongebob and Patrick] Keep your tongue out of my tarter sauce!
#1: Imposters!
#2: Who are you calling imposter, imposter? I must prevent our tarter sauce from being eaten by that... [pans to Patrick] ...That fool!
#1: If I want to get near my tarter sauce, I gotta go through me first!
#2: I’m gonna make you eat those words!
#1: Bring It! [gets "slapped"] Take this! ["punches" himself's hair] I’ll never let you win!
#2: Oh, yes I will!
Young: What do you make of this, Barnacle Boy?
Young Barnacle Boy: Tangled Timeline, Mermaid Man. I...
Man Ray: [laughs wickedly] You old coots provided me the perfect distraction. Now prepare to be disappeared!
Young Mermaid Man: Sounds good on paper, you purveyor of pure evil, but, fortunately, we all know what happens to paper underwater. Barnacle Boy, the tartar sauce. [pours tartar sauce on the Second Man Ray]
Patrick 2: Wow! I've never eaten that much tartar sauce.
Patrick 1: Yes, you have.
Patrick 2: Well, it sure ain't sittin' right.
Man Ray: [laughs wickedly] Foolish mools. Once again, your buffoonery has given me victory! [blows up the tartar sauce can and laughs wickedly] Oh, I'm going to savor this. It's not every day I get to defeat Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy three times over! [is about to shoot two SpongeBobs, Patrick, two Old Mermaid Mans and Barnacle Boys but another time machine comes]
SpongeBob 2: [He along with the second Patrick comes out of the machine] Patrick, don’t eat the tartar sauce!
Man Ray: You’re too late! Your fat friend beat you to it. Now, prepare to taste laser! [another time machine comes, which it opens, and the third SpongeBob and Patrick are falling, screaming] So how...
SpongeBob 4: [The time machine door with the fourth SpongeBob and Patrick] I told you we had to go back farther!
Man Ray: Uh... [Tries to think but another time machine comes]
Mermaid Man 3: Up, up, and away! [The third Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy jump out and fall to the ground]
SpongeBob 5: [another time machine opens with the fifth Patrick also] Now, Patrick! [He along with the fifth Patrick pour tartar sauce on the third Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and drop the can on them]
Man Ray: I can't get my head around this. Where are they all coming from? [Man Ray 2's machine comes] Another machine? [Man Ray 2 comes out]
Man Ray 2: [shoots his own whole time machine and laughs wickedly] I took care of your blasted time machine! [laughs again and flies away]
Man Ray: Uh! I got to sit down and think this through.
Young Mermaid Man: [chains Man Ray] Gotta! You've got plenty of time for thinking in the stony lonesome.
Man Ray: I'm sorry, did you say something? I'm still trying to comprehend what just happened here.
Young Mermaid Man: It's pretty simple, really. You were defeated by a convoy of continuum-cruising crime stoppers. Thank you, SpongeBob and Patrick.
Four SpongeBobs and Two Patricks: You're welcome!
SpongeBob 6 and Patrick 6: [another time machine which holds seven SpongeBobs and six Patricks comes] Oh, hi there! Hello! Hello! Hello!
One Other Patrick: Hey! Oh, I can't believe it!
One Other SpongeBob: We just wanted to come back and revisit the day that evil was defeated forever.
SpongeBob 7: [another time machine appears] Hey, how you doing?
Patrick 7: We're here.
Eighth and Ninth SpongeBobs and Patricks: [two time machines appear] Oh, hi there! How you doing?
Tenth SpongeBob and Patrick: Hello! Hello!
Even More SpongeBobs and Patricks: [more appear] Oh hi there! [More and more appear while the episode pans into outer space] Hello! Hello!

The Bad Guy Club for Villains [7.18b][edit]

Patrick: Hey, what happened? Why are those squiggles on the screen?
SpongeBob: Those are called "End Credits", Patrick.
Patrick: End credits? But I don't want it to end!
SpongeBob: That's why Neptune gave us the rewind button! [pushes a button]
Patrick: Thank you, Neptune! [The screen goes back to the beginning and zooms in before the episode ends]

Episode 19[edit]

A Day Without Tears [7.19a][edit]

SpongeBob: He was a good little Krabby Patty. [sniffs] I didn't know him well, but in the few short seconds between grill and floor, I-[opens the trash lid and begins crying]-I came to love him! [the patty slowly slides off his spatula and into the trash bin] It just isn't fair! [he cries even louder, soaking and enraging Squidward from the counter window]
Squidward: SpongeBob, will you stop crying?!
SpongeBob: But the Krabby Patty fell on the floor and then he...
Squidward: Krabby Patty nothing!
SpongeBob: I-
Squidward: [shouting] KRABBY PATTY NOTHING! [breathes heavily. SpongeBob whimpers] What now?
SpongeBob: [stifled] You yelled at me... [wailing] YOU YELLED AT ME! [continues sobbing]
Squidward: All right, look. So far today, and it's not even 2:00 yet, you have cried 43 times.
SpongeBob: And you wrote that number on a chalkboard.
Squidward: Yes!
SpongeBob: Why?
Squidward: [pauses for a second] I have no idea.
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, there's no way I cry that much. There's not that many tears in my brain.
Squidward: Au contraire. [turns on a TV]
SpongeBob: What's this?
Squidward: It's a quick montage of flashbacks I've edited together that shows the hundreds of tears you have cried over the years.
[the video begins to play, showing SpongeBob crying in the Krusty Krab, in a grocery store, at Mrs. Puff's Boating School, in Jellyfish Fields, in the bathroom, and more like near a bus stop for no reason]
SpongeBob: [in the video] Boo! Hoo! Boohoo! Sob. Whimper.
Narrator: Thousands of tears later...
[SpongeBob continues to watch himself crying in the video]
SpongeBob: Wow, guess I do cry a lot. I promise I won't cry anymore.
Squidward: Oh, nonsense! I bet you can't go the rest of the day without crying.
SpongeBob: [realizes something] Excuse me a minute. [he walks up to a rotary telephone and dials it, Patrick appears lazily sitting on his couch when his own phone rings]
Patrick: [answers it] Star... residence. Patrick speaking.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.
Patrick: Hey, buddy! Is it 7:30 already?
SpongeBob: No, I'm still at work.
Patrick: How can I help you?
SpongeBob: Do you think that I could go the rest of the day without crying?
Patrick: [mouth full with popcorn] Well, of course you can.
SpongeBob: Okay, great, thanks, Patrick.
Patrick: Umm... sure. And did you remember to put that package outside where I told you?
SpongeBob: Yeah, but I left it in a different spot. Just ask Gary, he knows where it is.
Patrick: Oh, yeah. [laughs with his mouth full] Hey, good one, buddy. You almost had me there.
SpongeBob: [chuckles] Okay.
Patrick: Yeah, talk to you later.
SpongeBob: All right, see ya. [hangs up, then walks back up to Squidward] Okay, it's a bet.
Squidward: [shakes SpongeBob's hand] Fine. If you cry one tear before midnight, you have to... [thinks] Wash my bike, clean out my rain gutters, and do all my yard work for a year.
SpongeBob: Sounds fair to me. And if I make it to midnight without crying, you'll come to a slumber party at my place. Just you and me. [Squidward retches and swallows] Ooh, what's the matter?
Squidward: Um, nothing, I just threw up a little in my mouth. [begins talking in his thoughts] No need to worry, Squiddy. You've outdone yourself. He'll be crying in ten minutes.

Summer Job [7.19b][edit]

Episode 20[edit]

One Coarse Meal [7.20a][edit]

Karen: My triumphant husband returns. How'd you fail this time?
Plankton: Krabs had a whale!
Karen: You mean his big, bad, scary teenage daughter?
Plankton: I hear that mocking tone in your voice, Karen, and I don't appreciate it! Don't you remember what happened to my ancestors at the hands of those beasts?!
[Plankton's family is shown being eaten by a whale]
Karen: Okay, when you need a break from your delusional paranoia, the trash needs some attention. It's ripened.

Plankton: [crying] What's the point of going on? I'll just be tortured for the rest of my life by that whale! [lies down] That's it. I'm done. The 4:15 bus should be along any time now.
SpongeBob: Hi, Plankton. What are you doing laying in the middle of the road?
Plankton: Go away, Cheese head! Can't you see I'm trying to get run over?! In fact, better yet, just step on me as hard as you can. Would you do that for me?
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Plankton, but that flies in the face of my good nature.
Plankton: Forget it, kid. I'll just wait for the next bus. Go on back to the Krusty Krab and enjoy yourself.

Gary In Love [7.20b][edit]

Episode 21[edit]

The Play's the Thing [7.21a][edit]

SpongeBob: Squidward, no! Those patties aren't fit for public consumption!
Squidward: Here, enjoy!

SpongeBob: [tries not to cry] Bless you all.
Patrick: I like throwing food. [chucks a burnt Krabby Patty at SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: OW!

Squidward: AAAAAHH!
Patrick: Haw haw! Ah haw haw! [hurls an anchor]

Rodeo Daze [7.21b][edit]


  • Tom Kenny as SpongeBob, Snooty Narrator, TV Voice, Narrator, Chopped Liver, Cop #1, Squidward's House, Jellyfish, Carney Fish #1, Fish #2, Fish #40, Fish #47, Fish #83, Gary, Worker Fish, Customer #5, Cod Darringer, Hans, Cop, Trash Fish, Fish #107, Cowboy, Mail Fish, Bellboy, Crab #1, Beuford, Customer (male), Fish #64, Fish #37a, Director, Cop, Scotsman, Reporter, Man, Mayor, Jellyfish, Dirty Bubble, Pyrite Panderer, Hand Creature, Professor Magma, Snail #13, Cop, Brad, Pet Shop Owner, Snail #1, Fish #107, Snail #2, Big Poodle Worm, Fish #41, Fish #40, Fish #1, Popeye Fish, Old Man Fish, Cop, Old Fish, Fish #106, Kid #2, Smitty, Chef, Radio Voice, Elderly Fish #1, Gang Member #1, Fish #6, Fish #2, Trucker, Nanny, Fish #107, Triplet #2, Keystone Cop #2, Commissioner, Teller, SpongeBob's Grandson, TV Voice, Fish #39, Old Fish, Kid Fish, Citizen, Fish #92, Fish with Plate, Fish #60, Future Fish #331, Phone, Fish #108, Announcer, Soap Opera Fish, Cupid Robot, Police Fish, Prince Robot, Male Customer #6, Fish #107, Male Fish, Tuck, Live Action Broccoli
  • Bill Fagerbakke as Patrick, TV Producer, Fish #1, Customer #2, Health Inspector, Assistant, Fish #105, Fish #107, Fax Machine, Dad Fish, Customer, Tibor, Yokel #2, Mayor, Conductor, Passenger E, Fish #107, Fish #37b, Patrick Not-Star, Fish #108, Sam
  • Rodger Bumpass as Squidward, Leftover, Fish #107, Customer #3, Announcer, Chintzy McGee, KK Customer, Fish #41, Mailman, Cop #107, Cop, Quarter, Fish #108, Fish #1, Keystone Cop #1, Vendor, Fish #69, Middle Fish, DJ, Fish #107, Bartender, Doctor, Fish #23, Boss, Male Customer #3, Fish #38
  • Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs, Carney Fish #2, Fish #83, Customer #1, Dad, Giant Bell Hop, Customer, Eagle Head, Ranger, Fish #83, Fish #49, Cop #1, Vacuum, General, Fish #40, Passenger F, Guy, Male Customer #3, Fish #37, Clint
  • Mr. Lawrence as Plankton, Larry the Lobster, Customer #1, Citizen Fish #45, TV Narrator, Sinister Slug, Cop, Fish #6, Doctor, Fish #37a, Fish #3, Fish #5, Newscaster, Passenger B, Fish #41, Fish #106, Fish #114, Cop Fish, Fish #40, Tour Organizer, Newscaster, Ice Cream Fish, Frank
  • Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy, Fish #7, Fish #87
  • Dee Bradley Baker as Zeus, Squilliam, Cop, Worker, Newscaster, Billy, Boss, Director, Cloaked One, Boy Fish, Crab #2, Host, Atomic Flounder, Jumbo Shrimp, Elastic Waist Band, Radio DJ, Anchor Fish, Kid Fish, Pirate #1, Bully Snail, Billy, Baby, Small Poodle Worm, Fish #107, Fish #42, Fish #60, Fish #41, Fish #27, Security Guard, Rrarrg, Fish #41, Fish #41, Eel, Old Man Jenkins, Fish #107, Kid #1, Cletus, Dude Fish, Fish #4, Ancient Warrior, Perch Perkins, Porter, Baby Triplet, Werewolf, Seahorses, Fish #41, Woman Fish, Newscaster, Fish #85, Fish #115, Fish #107, Future Fish #1, Clams, Fish #85, Fish #1, Worm, Gill, Sea Chicken, Whelks, News Anchor, Baby Whelks, Scallop, Male Fish, Clerk, Newscaster, Announcer, Fish #26, Crawly Clown Robot, Male Customer #1, Paramedic #25, Male Customer #7, Fish #92, Fish Cop, Howard
  • Lori Alan as Pearl, Grandma, Mermaid #2, Girl Fish #104
  • Jill Talley as Twin #1, Twin #2, Karen, Fish #48, Fish #49, Customer #4, Fish #157, Mom, Gramma, Fish #45, Fish #46, Mermaid #1, Mermaid #3, Miss McGuffin, Fish #49, Nurse #1, Nurse #2, Cashier, Kids, Billy, Female Customer #2, Fish #46, Fish #47, Fish #48
  • Sirena Irwin as Agent Fish, Actress, Reporter, Kid Fish, Fortune Teller, Fish #46, Miss Appear, Mary, Monica, Fish #115, Mermaid #4, Betsy, Lady Fish #1, Elderly Female Fish #2, Elderly Female Fish #1, Lady Fish, Little Girl Fish, Fish #45, Girl Fish #7, Roxanne Robot, Mom, Female Customer #1, Granny, Squilvia, Lady Fish
  • Mary Jo Catlett as Mrs. Puff
  • Chiba as Kitten
  • Brian Dolye Murray as Flying Dutchman
  • Bob Joles as Man Ray
  • Ernest Borgnine as Mermaid Man
  • Tim Conway as Barnacle Boy
  • Adam West as Young Mermaid Man
  • Burt Ward as Young Barnacle Boy
  • Paul Tibbitt as Plankton's Granddad, Charles
  • Loraine Newman as Grandma Plankton, Nurse
  • Ginnifer Goodwin as Lead Mermaid
  • Kristen Wiig as Madame Hagfish
  • Mark Fite as Junior, Ol' Jim, Male Customer #5, Male Customer #8, Paramedic #26
  • Amy Sedaris as Ma Angler
  • Alan Smart as Eel
  • Marion Ross as Grandma SquarePants

External links[edit]