The Simpsons/Season 29
For other uses of "The Simpsons", see The Simpsons (disambiguation).
[Marge cooks food for her family]
Homer: Aw, water soup again?
[Marge knocks out a three eyed crow and adds it to the soup]
Marge: Now, it's crow soup.
Homer: Ooh, I call an eye!
Lisa: Me too!
Bart: Me three!
Marge: And Maggie gets the break.
[Marge plucks the beak out and gives it to Maggie]
Maggie: Aaaeeey! Uh-Ah!
[Maggie uses the beak as a passy and sucks on it]
Lisa: Lousy nobles. We serfs are starving, while they're feasting and jousting and posing for tapestries, where they're friends with a unicorn. As if any unicorn would like them. Unicorns like nice people. I'm a nice person.
[Homer pokes his father's spider web, looking for his mother-in-law's]
Grandpa: Son, is that you?
Homer: Isn't this great, daddy baby alone time. Where's daddy? Peek-a-boo.
Marge: Well, what do you think of my late pick-up room?
Julius: It's wonderful, hard to believe it's the same room they found all those dead rats in.
Lisa: Maggie, you can whistle? (she gasps surprisingly at Maggie's talent.) you're gifted too, maybe more gifted!
Lisa: No one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me.
Bart: [sarcastic] Yeah, THAT'S the reason.
[Homer eats a living chocolate bunny, who screams in pain]
Lisa: Daaaad! I can't listen to this horror!
Homer: Okay, I'm onto it.
[Homer bites the mouth off]
Lisa: Thank you.
Marge: Maggie, sweetie. You should be in bed.
[Maggie is revealed to be possessed by Pazuzu]
Maggie: No one leaves alive!
Marge: Ooooh, her first words!
Helen: She's completely cooked. Unlike the children she brought to the potluck.
Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, Helen is a bitter as the lemonade she brought to the potluck. What a terrible potluck that was.
Sideshow Mel: Why wasn't this a town hall event? I like to see them balance on the stools.
Reynolds: Well, here's $400, and screw you.
Bart: Wow. I finally found my path in life: socio.
Homer: Why you little --
Bart: I'm not little. I'm 20, and I live at home.
Homer: Why you disappointing --
Bart: You know you're choking someone who can vote.
Homer: But did you vote?
Homer: Why you little --
Bart: Nothing good ever comes from trying.
Otto: I brought my stems.
[Otto opens his coat to reveal a bag with stems in it]
Security Guard: Sir, this is a conference of science, technology, engineering, and math. [the points to a STEM sign]
[Otto walks to a DOPE sign]
Otto: But what about this one?
[Dr. Hibbert walks out of the room next to the DOPE sign]
Dr. Hibbert: Dialogue on pedriatric education.
Mr. Burns: I need you to tell me who is worthy of surviving the Apocalypse with me. I only want the sharpest razors in this town's Halloween candy.
Mayor Quimby: Did you know we had to lay off a third of the police force? That's right: Eddie.
Eddie: I used to have a gun!
Manacek: Your story had everything a field trip, a dream sequence, Sideshow Mel.
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