Batman: The Killing Joke (film)

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Batman: The Killing Joke is a 2016 animated film featuring the DC Comics character Batman. It stars Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, Tara Strong and Ray Wise.


  • [while interrogating a criminal] I'm gonna count to 10. 1... [cocks back his fist] 9...
  • I've been thinking lately about you. You and me. About how this is going to end. About who will end up killing who. Perhaps you'll kill me, perhaps I'll kill you. Perhaps sooner, perhaps later. You know that, don't you? I just... I need to know, for when that time comes... that I've made a genuine attempt to talk things over. To try and avert the inevitable. Just once. [grabs "Joker"'s hand] Listen to me! This is life and death - mine or yours. Our relationship, it's fatal! And I don't want your murder on my-- ["Joker" pulls his hand back, leaving white powder on Batman's glove, and Batman realizes it is a decoy]
  • I spoke with Commissioner Gordon before I came in here. He told me he wanted this done by the book. You know what that means? It means that despite all your sick, cruel, vicious little games, he's as sane as he ever was. So ordinary people don't crack. Maybe... it's just you.

The Joker

  • I find the past such a worrying, anxious place. Yes, memory's so treacherous. One moment, you're lost in a carnival of delights: childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, all that sentimental candyfloss. The next, it takes you somewhere you don't want to be. Somewhere dark and cold, filled with the damp, ambiguous shapes of things you'd rather forget. Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes. Like children, no? [chuckles] But can we live without them? Memories are what our reason is based on. If we deny them, we deny reason itself! Although... what's wrong with that really? It's not like we're contractually tied down to rationality. There is no "sanity clause"! So whenever you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, headed for places in your past where the screaming is unavoidable, remember this: there's always MADNESS You can just step outside and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away... FOREVER.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, I give you... the average man!

Commissioner James Gordon

  • [after being rescued by Batman, shaken by the Joker's torture, but retaining his sanity] Go after him. I want him brought in... and I want it done by the book! BY THE BOOK! You have to! We have to show him our way works!


[At home after hearing the Joker has escaped from Arkham, Commissioner Gordon cuts a newspaper clipping out for his Joker scrapbook]
Commissioner Gordon: I hate this. Whenever we jail him, I pray, "Please, God, just keep him there." And then when he escapes, it's "Please don't let him do something too awful this time." I hate it!
Barbara Gordon: [enters carrying a tray with two cups of hot chocolate] Dad, just once, could you leave your work at the office and RELAX? I made you some cocoa. [sets the tray on the coffee table]
Commissioner Gordon: Thanks... but tonight, I could use something a little stiffer.
Barbara Gordon: [smiles and walks over to the liquor cabinet] You know, I found that Catwoman scrapbook you couldn't. It was behind the wardrobe. [pours a glass] You really ought to let me work out a flying system for you, something like we use at the library.
Commissioner Gordon: Mm-hmm.... [sets the clipping inside his scrapbook]
Barbara Gordon: Oh, look, you've got paste squiging out. Don't get it on your pants.
Commissioner Gordon: Barbara, I swear, you're fussier than your mother was.
[A knock at the door; both look up]
Barbara Gordon: That must be Colleen. She's early. We're gonna work out. You'll have to entertain her while I get ready.
Commissioner Gordon: Heh, look at this one. The first time they met. [clipping reads "Bat-Garbed Vigilante Critically Injures Murderer; Disfigured Homicidal Maniac in Hospital"] He was just robbing banks then. You remember?
Barbara Gordon: What I remember is you describing his white face and green hair. I was just a kid. Scared the hell out of me.
Commissioner Gordon: I thought you'd be interested.
Barbara Gordon: Yeah, well, I had some really interesting nightmares.
[Barbara opens the door, finding herself face-to-face with the Joker himself, dressed like a tourist, camera around his neck - and a gun in his hand. He presses the gun to her abdomen and pulls the trigger, knocking her back across the room and crashing into the coffee table.]
Commissioner Gordon: Barbara! [Barbara writhes in pain, unable to move]
The Joker: I wouldn't worry yet if I were you. It's just a psychological manifestation common among librarians. She thinks she's a coffee table edition. Though I can't say much for this volume's condition; I mean, there's a hole in the jacket... and the spine appears to be damaged.
Commissioner Gordon: You scum! [grasps his scissors, as if to attack] I'll -- [Joker's men punch him out, and begin to rough him up]
The Joker: Will you? Refreshing to hear. Not by the book... [walks over to Barbara] Speaking of which, this one won't be walking off the shelf anytime soon. In fact, the idea of her walking anywhere seems remote. [kneels next to Barbara] But then, that's always a problem with softbacks. Oh, God, literary discussions can get so dry, can't they? Finish the Commish, and take him where he needs to be. And please, do be careful - after all, he is topping the bill!
[The Joker's men drag the unconscious Commissioner out; grinning, Joker turns back to Barbara]
The Joker: It really is a shame you'll miss your father's debut, Miss Gordon. [reaches down to open her shirt] Sadly, our venue wasn't built with the DISABLED in mind...
Barbara Gordon: [pained] Why... are you... doing this?
The Joker: To prove a point. [raises a glass] Here's to crime.

[After being shot, Barbara is in the hospital, as the attending doctor uses a pin to determine nerve feeling in Barbara's feet; no response. Covering her feet with the bedsheet, the doctor steps back]
Doctor: She'll never walk again. I'm sorry.
[The doctor leaves; Batman looks at the Joker card in his hand]
Detective Harvey Bullock: Some woman found Miss Gordon, name of Colleen Miles. She found the, uh... victim in a state of undress.
Batman: Undress?
Detective Bullock: They didn't tell you? Pretty sick, ain't it?
Batman: Leave us alone for a moment. [Bullock stands and steps outside] Barbara... I don't know if you can hear me.
Barbara Gordon: Batman...? Batman... [Batman leans closer] They took Dad. He... oh, God... I remember!
Batman: Barbara, take it easy. It's okay.
Barbara Gordon: [hysterical] No, no, it's not okay! He's taking it to the limit this time. Y-you didn't see his eyes. He said he wanted to... to prove a point! He said Dad was "top of the bill"! What's he gonna do? What's he gonna do to my father?!

Commissioner Gordon: Please, tell me what I'm doing here! Somebody!
The Joker: Doing? You're doing what any sane man in your appalling circumstances would do... you're going mad!

Fat Lady: Order in the court!
The Joker: I'll have a ham on rye. [the assembled freaks groan] It doesn't have to be good to be a classic.

Mitch: I don't know where he is, I swear to God!
Batman: Swear to ME!

[At the old fairgrounds, after rescuing Commissioner Gordon, Batman pursues the Joker into the hall of mirrors]
The Joker: Let me ask you something: What does it matter if you send me back to the Asylum if it doesn't matter to me? I've proven my point. Gordon's been driven mad. I've demonstrated there's no difference between me and everyone else. All it takes is one bad day. That's how far the world is from where I am, just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? Oh, I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day, and everything changed.
[Batman enters an octagonal room of mirrors, and a wall panel shuts him inside]
The Joker: Dressing up like a flying rat doesn't hide it, it SCREAMS it! [Joker's minions appear in the mirror panels dressed as Batman; Batman punches the mirrors] You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else, only you won't ADMIT it! [a trap door opens under Batman's feet, nearly dropping him into a pit of spikes] You have to keep pretending that this makes sense, that there's some point to all this struggling! You make me wanna puke!
[Batman fends off Joker's minions, and uses his grapple gun to escape]
The Joker: I mean, what IS it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I know! Because something like that... happened to ME.
[Batman enters a room that appears like the apartment the Joker, in his "old life", lived in - only upside down]
The Joker: Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another. If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice. My point is...
[The Joker closes the door and attacks Batman with a pot full of shellfish]
The Joker: I went crazy. And I'm smart enough to admit it! [tears down a chair bolted to the "ceiling" and smashes it over Batman's head] Why can't you?! [kicks Batman in the face] By clinging to reality, you're denying the reality of the situation! [begins hurling dishes, then cracks Batman in the head with a frying pan] I mean, do you ever think about how many times we've come close to World War III over a flock of geese on a computer screen?! [hits Batman with the frying pan again, then begins kicking him] Silly goose, it's all a joke! Everything anybody's ever valued or struggled for... it's MONSTROUS! Why can't you see the funny side?! WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING?!
[As the Joker moves to use his lethal joy buzzer, Batman punches him in the jaw, then throws him into the table bolted to the "ceiling" and onto the "floor"]
Batman: Because I've heard it before... and it wasn't funny the first time.

[During his fight with Batman, the Joker manages to get a hold of his gun and pulls the trigger - only for a flag reading "Click Click Click" to pop out. He pulls the trigger a number of times]
The Joker: God damn it... [throws the gun away] Well, what are you waiting for? Kick the hell out of me, and get your standing ovation! [brief silence; Batman does nothing] Come on!
Batman: No. Not this time. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want either of us to end up killing the other. But we're running out of alternatives. Perhaps it all hinges on tonight. I don't know what it was that bent your life out of shape, but maybe, I've been there, too. Maybe we could work together. I could rehabilitate you. You don't need to be alone. We don't have to kill each other. [holds out his hand] Let me help you.
[Batman holds out his hand, but the Joker stands on his own accord]
The Joker: I'm sorry, but... no. No. It's far too late for that. [turns away from Batman...then begins to chuckle as the rain begins to fall] You know, it's funny. This reminds me of a joke. See, there were two guys locked in a lunatic asylum and one night... one night, they decided they didn't like that anymore. They decided to escape. So, they made it up to the roof and there, just across this narrow gap, they see rooftops stretching across town, stretching to FREEDOM. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across, no problem. But his friend, oh-ho, no way, he's afraid of falling. So, the first guy, he has an idea. He says, "Hey! I got this flashlight with me. I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings and you can walk across the beam and join me." But the second guy says, "What do you think I am, crazy? You'll just turn it off when I'm halfway across!" [begins to laugh] Oh, excuse me... [continues laughing; after a moment, Batman slowly smiles and joins him for the laugh]



  Creators     Bob Kane · Bill Finger  
  Characters     Anarky · Batgirl · Barbara Gordon · Dick Grayson · The Joker  
  Live‑action television     Batman · Legends of the Superheroes · Birds of Prey · Return to the Batcave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt · Gotham  
  serials and films  
  Batman (1943) · Batman and Robin · Batman (1966) · The Batman (2022)  
  1989 film series     Batman (1989) · Batman Returns · Batman Forever · Batman & Robin  
  The Dark Knight Trilogy     Batman Begins · The Dark Knight · The Dark Knight Rises  
  DC Extended Universe     Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice  
  Animated television     The Adventures of Batman · The Batman/Superman Hour · The Batman/Tarzan Adventure Hour · The New Adventures of Batman · Batman: The Animated Series · The  
  New Batman Adventures
· Batman Beyond · The Batman · Batman: The Brave and the Bold · Beware the Batman  
  Animated films     Featuring Batman     Mask of the Phantasm · SubZero · Return of the Joker · Mystery of the Batwoman · The Batman vs. Dracula · Under the Red Hood · Year One ·  
  The Dark Knight Returns · DC Super Heroes Unite · Son of Batman · Assault on Arkham · Batman vs. Robin · Batman: Bad Blood · The Killing Joke · Gotham by Gaslight · Death in the Family  
  With other heroes     Justice League: The New Frontier · Superman/Batman: Public Enemies · Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths · Superman/Batman:
· Justice League: Doom · Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox · JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time · Justice League: War · The
  Lego Movie
· Justice League: Throne of Atlantis · Batman Unlimited: Animal Instincts · Justice League: Gods and Monsters · Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem  
  Animated shorts     Chase Me · Gotham Knight