Gotham (TV series)

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Gotham (2014-) is an American crime television series, airing on FOX, developed by Bruno M Heller, based on characters appearing in and published by DC Comics in their Batman franchise, primarily those of Detective James Gordon and Bruce Wayne

Contents

Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.01][edit]

Harvey Bullock: [to Gordon] Jim, you seem like a nice guy, but this is not a city or a job for nice guys.

Fish Mooney: You have a little danger in your eye. I wonder what you plan to do with that.
Jim Gordon: You'll have to wait and see.

Carmine Falcone: Pepper was sacrificed so that the people of Gotham would see swift justice done, so they can feel safe and secure.
Jim Gordon: And that matters so much to you.
Carmine Falcone: Of course. I'm a businessman. You can't have organized crime without law and order. I love this city, and I see it going to hell. But I won't let it fall apart without a fight.
Jim Gordon: You make a life of crime sound very noble.
Carmine Falcone: You have a hard head, James, just like your father. Don't be self-righteous. Don't be arrogant.
Jim Gordon: You want me to keep quiet about all this?
Carmine Falcone: Gotham is on a knife edge. What do you suppose bringing down City Hall and the police force will do, even if you could? Would it make things better?

Oswald Cobblepot: Listen to me, there is a war coming. A-a terrible war. Falcone is losing his grip, and his rivals are hungry. There-there will be chaos. Rivers of blood in the streets. I know it! I-I can see it coming. I'm clever that way.

Bruce Wayne: I'm learning to conquer fear.
Jim Gordon: Fear doesn't need conquering. Fear tells you where the edge is. Fear is a good thing.
Alfred Pennyworth: And you think I haven't told him that, have you?

Selina Kyle [1.02][edit]

Harvey Bullock: How now so righteous? Hmm? Not long since you put a man in the river.
Jim Gordon: You want to say that a little louder? Not everybody heard.
Harvey Bullock: Ever since then, you've been a royal pain in the ass. You think I or anybody around here gives a crap about a dead snitch or your guilty conscience?

Oswald Cobblepot: Foolish arrogance led me astray. But I learned my lessons. I'll be back, stronger and smarter than ever.

Sarah Essen: Look, Jim, it's not like I can order you to break the law, but this is Gotham. You don't bend, you'll get broke.

Fish Mooney: I'll play this thing loyal and bide my time. But I swear, Butch, on my sainted mother's grave, some day soon, I am going to kill that old man with my bare hands and my teeth.
Butch Gilzean: I'll be holding your shoes.

Fish Mooney: [to Gordon] You're just a little sinner like the rest of us. I'm almost kind of sad about that.

Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce's father gave me very firm orders was him and his missus to die. Now, I will raise the boy the way his father told me to raise him.
Jim Gordon: Which is how?
Alfred Pennyworth: Trust him to choose his own course. He is, after all, a Wayne.

The Balloonman [1.03][edit]

Sal Maroni: You see, Falcone is only the boss of Gotham because people believe he's the boss. That's what this Arkham thing is gonna change. People are gonna see that the emperor's got no clothes.

Sal Maroni: [looking at the video of a bishop being killed] See this, this is not good. [while making the sign of the cross] You can't go around killing priests. At least not in public.

Jim Gordon: No body? We calling this a murder?
Harvey Bullock: Call it a public service. Danzer was a bum. He got what he deserved. I'm gonna go get a Danish. That's what I deserve.

Jim Gordon: The city's sick. Sick in a way I hadn't realized.

Oswald Cobblepot: Hello, James. Old friend.

Arkham [1.04][edit]

Jim Gordon: I should put a bullet in your head right now.
Oswald Cobblepot: And you would have every right to do so. But you won't, Jim Gordon, because you're a good man. You may very well be the last good man in Gotham, and that's why I want to help you.
Jim Gordon: I don't want your help!
Oswald Cobblepot: No? But you need it! That vile creature, Fish Mooney... Don Falcone... the police... not even your own partner trusts you! They will always hide the truth from you, but not me! Never me! You saved my life.
Jim Gordon: God knows I wish I hadn't.

Jim Gordon: Why will there be a war?
Oswald Cobblepot: Well, as you know, war is just politics by other means. And isn't politics just money, talking?
Jim Gordon: Talking about what?
Oswald Cobblepot: [smirking] Arkham, of course

Harvey Bullock: Ed, what you got?
Edward Nygma: I have a paradox for you.
Harvey Bullock: What?
Edward Nygma: Well, a paradox, Detective, is when you...
Harvey Bullock: I know what a paradox is, smart-ass.

Bruce Wayne: Bad dream.
Alfred Pennyworth: Oh. Was I in it?
Bruce Wayne: Not this time.

Richard Gladwell: [to a victim he's about to burn alive] You know if it were up to me, this would be over quick, without all the fuss. My father used to say, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." But it's not up to me. And my customer specifically asked me to send a message. And you know what they say: The customer is always right.

Viper [1.05][edit]

Jim Gordon: Where is he? Where is Potolsky?
Isaac Steiner: Those hypocrites! Empty altruism will not erase what they've done. They must pay.
Jim Gordon: Who? Who must pay?
Isaac Steiner: WellZyn. Wayne Enterprises. Everyone will finally see them for what they are.
Jim Gordon: How? Where's Potolsky headed?
Harvey Bullock: What's 'altruism?'

Bruce Wayne: Could you pass me that blue folder over there?
Alfred Pennyworth: Well, I suppose as hobbies go, this is a damn sight better than grilling yourself like a bloody pork chop. Still, not particularly healthy, is it?
Bruce Wayne: Thank you.
Alfred Pennyworth: Are you listening to me?
Bruce Wayne: Y--yeah. yeah, for sure. I'll take a walk later. Thank you, Alfred.

Taylor Reece: WellZyn has no connection to this tragedy. We will vigorously pursue legal action against any individuals making assertions to the contrary.
Harvey Bullock: Do you think we push a button, or does she just rewind automatically?

Sal Maroni: What's your name again?
Oswald Cobblepot: Everyone here calls me Penguin, sir.
Sal Maroni: You don't like that name, huh? Yeah, well, you're wrong. It's a good name. Works for you.

Harvey Bullock: Where the hell have you been?
Jim Gordon: Personal business.
Harvey Bullock: You disappear in the middle of a case, you can't even tell me why?
Jim Gordon: That's what "personal" means.

Spirit of the Goat [1.06][edit]

Detective Dix: Gotham's golden rule, Harvey: No heroes.

Jim Gordon: Barbara... This city... the law, the crime here, they're all... twisted up in each other like a maze. I came here to be a cop. This city needs something else.

Harvey Bullock: I didn't realize this before. You're a hypnotist, right?
Dr. Marks: A hypnotherapist.
Harvey Bullock: Oh, therapist. It's a funny word, therapist. Can either mean "therapist" or "the rapist."

The Goat: Randall Milkie is undone. Gone. This body is moved by the Spirit of the Goat.
Harvey Bullock: Uh, we're going to go with Milkie. I've already done the paperwork.

Detective Dix: He always thinks he's the smartest one in the room.
Jim Gordon: I know, right?
Harvey Bullock: [annoyed] That's because I'm always in a room full of idiots.

Dr. Marks: It's true, isn't it? You can't really hypnotize somebody to do something that they don't already want to do. And deep down, we all want to eat the rich.

Harvey Bullock: You're under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder, coercion, and a few things we'll probably have to name after you.

Penguin's Umbrella [1.07][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: When you know what a man loves, you know what can kill him.

Sal Maroni: Um, I heard Vic Zasz tore up the G.C.P.D., tracking down Gordon. Did you catch him yet?
Carmine Falcone: We're working on it.
Sal Maroni: Well, good luck with that. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest man, huh?

Victor Zsasz: Hi, Jim. Relax. I'm supposed to take you in alive. Don Falcone wants to talk.
Jim Gordon: Tell Falcone we'll talk. But not today.
Victor Zsasz: Don't be that way. "Alive" is a very broad category. A man with no hands can still be alive.

Sarah Essen: Are you insane?
Jim Gordon: No. Maybe a little. Feels good.

Harvey Bullock: So I've been thinking. You're still a douchebag. But you have the moral high ground. So I'm gonna back your play, whatever it is. I figure I'm doomed anyhow. I might as well join the good guys.
Jim Gordon: Thank you.
Harvey Bullock: So what is your play? I mean, you got one, right? You said you had one.
Jim Gordon: Tomorrow morning, I'm arresting Falcone and the mayor for the framing of Mario Pepper. Conspiracy, POJ, Rico, the works.
Harvey Bullock: Well, that's a…that's a hell of a plan. You sit there with a panel of chimpanzees and a bucket of crack and come up with that one?
Jim Gordon: I figure whatever else happens, we'll stir things up. We might even make the papers.
Harvey Bullock: Oh, yeah, we're gonna make the papers, all right. We're gonna be dead in the streets in time for the evening edition.
Jim Gordon: Well, at least the people will know the truth. And we'll go out doing our jobs, enforcing the law.
Harvey Bullock: That's the best inspirational speech you got? Doing our jobs?
Jim Gordon: You don't have to join me.
Harvey Bullock: No, I'm game. Like I said, I'm doomed anyhow.

The Mask [1.08][edit]

Alfred Pennyworth: Don't you miss your mates?
Bruce Wayne: Not really. I've always found them kind of childish.
Alfred Pennyworth: Well, that's what they're meant to be, aren't they? That's what they do. Don't you want to be like a normal kid.
Bruce Wayne: I'm not sure. Define "normal" and make a good case for it.
Alfred Pennyworth: You're going to bloody school. Now start walking.

Richard Sionis: You see the man without the mask? Whoever kills him... is the victor.
Jim Gordon: Listen to me. I'm a cop. So far, you haven't broken any laws.
Richard Sionis: Let the games... begin.
Jim Gordon: One last chance! Nobody moves!
Richard Sionis: Oh, and I'll throw in a million dollar signing bonus.
Jim Gordon: Ah, crap.

Alfred Pennyworth: Don't you be scared.
Bruce Wayne: I'm not. I'm visualizing what I'm gonna do.
Alfred Pennyworth: 'Cause if you don't want to do this, there's no shame in it.
Bruce Wayne: There would be immense shame in it.

Fish Mooney: I grew up not too far from here. One bedroom, cold water. Just me and my mama. I used to sleep in a bed behind the curtain. It's where I would hide when I entertained men. And that's where I was when he killed her. One of Falcone's men. Didn't like the service. I hid there, silent, until morning. With my mama two feet away from me. That night, I made a promise.
Liza: To get revenge.
Fish Mooney: To never again be powerless. To never let any man, any man, be over me. This is about keeping that promise to that little girl.

Tommy Elliot: What the hell are you doing here?
Bruce Wayne: We have unfinished business.
Tommy Elliott: Listen, if you think you're gonna tell my parents-
[Bruce punches him across the face.]
Tommy Elliott: Are you crazy?!
Bruce Wayne: [punches him again] Don't-talk-about-my-mother!
[Bruce punches him a third time, driving him to his knees.]
Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce! Point well made, I think. You all right, mate? Any broken bones?
Tommy Elliott: He-he tried to kill me!
Alfred Pennyworth: That's right, he did. He tried to kill you. Just you remember that the next time you see him. And you remember that I let him try.

Bruce Wayne: Alfred? Can you teach me how to fight?
Alfred Pennyworth: Yes, Master Bruce. Yes, I can.

Harvey Dent [1.09][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: [sniffing Mooney] Lilacs. Mmm. You smell good.
Fish Mooney: You don't.
Oswald Cobblepot: Snappy as ever. Oh! Well, good-bye then. Sorry you're grumpy with me. But, reaching out in friendship is never wrong. [leaves]
Butch Gilzean:Man, that dude's creepy.

Selina Kyle: [to Bruce] Hit me, and I'll let you kiss me.

[Selina picks up a vase]
Bruce Wayne: It's from the Chinese Ming dynasty. Five... five-hundred-years old.
Selina Kyle: You can get one just like it for $5 in Chinatown.

Bruce Wayne: There's plenty to eat in the kitchen. Alfred will be happy to fix you some...
Alfred Pennyworth: No, he won't be, will he? Because it's not a bloody hotel!

Selina Kyle: Why are you doing that?
Bruce Wayne: Training.
Selina Kyle: Oh... like the boxing. So, if anyone mugs you with a diving board, you'll be ready, huh?

LoveCraft [1.10][edit]

Alfred Pennyworth: I'm coming with you.
Harvey Bullock: All right. You're pretty handy for a valet.
Alfred Pennyworth: Butler, mate. I'm the butler.

Bruce Wayne: Why can't I call Alfred or Detective Gordon to let them know I'm okay?
Selina Kyle: Because we're disappearing. You got to be like smoke. Smoke doesn't make phone calls.

Selina Kyle: Let me ask you a question. What's up with all the weird homework about your mom and dad?
Bruce Wayne: I'm trying to understand why it happened.
Selina Kyle: There's no why. Bad stuff happens. You--you got to get over it.
Bruce Wayne: Maybe you're right.
Selina Kyle: Of course I'm right. You want to kiss me?
Bruce Wayne: No, thank you.

Alfred Pennyworth: You really scared me, Master Bruce. If you die... who employs butlers anymore?

Bruce Wayne: I know you. You're Mario Pepper's daughter.
Ivy Pepper: Yes. Who are you?
Bruce Wayne: I'm Bruce Wayne.
Ivy Pepper: [bitter] Yes, you are. Billionaire Bruce Wayne.
Selina Kyle: Stay cool, now, Ivy…
Ivy Pepper: I am cool! Why would you tell me to stay cool? Why are you telling me what to do?
Selina Kyle: I'm not. I'm just saying I don't want you to get mad at him. He's a friend.
Ivy Pepper: Why would I get mad at him? It's not his fault. [gives Bruce an accusing look] Is it? Did you kill my father? Did you make my mother cut her wrists?
Bruce Wayne: [stunned] No.
Ivy Pepper: Somebody did. Somebody did, but not him. What are you doing? Are you doing okay?
Bruce Wayne: I'm okay. And you?
Ivy Pepper: [agitated] I'm doing okay. How do I look?
Bruce Wayne: [a little stunned] You look good.
Selina Kyle: [to Ivy] Have you seen Clyde the fence around?
Ivy Pepper: Yeah, he's working out of the Factory on the Narrows. [looks to Bruce] He's cute, isn't he?
Selina Kyle: Yes, he is. ptakes Bruce by the arm and starts leaving] Uh, thanks, Ivy, good to see you. Uh... we got to go run and see Clyde.
Ivy Pepper: Oh. Okay, fine. Bye, then.
[Selina and Bruce walks away.]
Selina Kyle: Keep. Moving.
Bruce Wayne: She's just a little girl. Why are you so scared of her? [looks back to Ivy]
Selina Kyle: [alarmed] Because she's scary! Don't look back!

Rogue's Gallery [1.11][edit]

Sarah Essen: You know I'd bring you back here in a second…if I could.
Jim Gordon: I know. It's all good, Captain.
Sarah Essen: You do look spiffy in the uniform.
Harvey Bullock: Yeah, if spiffy means dorky.
Jim Gordon: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Sal Maroni: Let this be a lesson to you, yes?
Oswald Cobblepot: Yes, sir.
Sal Maroni: You're a smart monkey... but you're a monkey. And I'm the zookeeper.

Jim Gordon: What?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You're the famous detective Jim Gordon, aren't you?
Jim Gordon: That's my name. I'm not sure about "famous."
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Notorious, then?
Jim Gordon: Nearer the mark.

Harvey Bullock: Hey, pal.
Royston: In a cow slip's bell I lie, there I crouch when owls do cry.
Harvey Bullock: All right. I can dig that.

Oswald Cobblepot: A simple phone call would resolve things, I'm sure.
Harvey Bullock: But, see, I like having you here. 'Cause I can sit at my desk and look at you. It's soothing. Like a bonsai tree.
Gabe: What's a bonsai tree?
[Oswald thunks his head against the bars.]

What The Little Bird Told Him [1.12][edit]

Jim Gordon: [to Loeb] This is the first I've seen you down here with the rank and file. You must be desperate.
Commissioner Gillian Loeb: Follow me.
Harvey Bullock: [to Gordon] Really nice knowing you.
Commissioner Gillian Loeb: Bring your friend Bullock.
Harvey Bullock: [to Gordon] I hate you. I hate you.

Jack Gruber: Now I see the world for what it really is. An abandoned factory full of broken machines. Some--very few--can be fixed. Most... just have to be scrapped.

Harvey Bullock: What are you laughing at?
Jim Gordon: Ah, it's good to be back.
Harvey Bullock: Only a man from a lunatic asylum would say that. You're like a human roller coaster, except you only go down.
Edward Nygma: Wouldn't that make him more of an elevator?

Kristen Kringle: I believe you left this on my desk.
Edward Nygma: It's a riddle.
Kristen Kringle: It's a cupcake with a live bullet sticking out of it.
Edward Nygma: It's a riddle.
Kristen Kringle: It's menacing and weird and inedible.

Jim Gordon: I'm done being careful.
Harvey Bullock: You think you've been careful so far?
Jim Gordon: Men like Commissioner Loeb are never going to trust me.
Harvey Bullock: You think you've been careful so far?
Jim Gordon: So why play nice?
Harvey Bullock: You think... you've been careful so far?
Jim Gordon: Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Let's go grab a beer.
Harvey Bullock: Now you're messing with my mind. I need something stronger than a beer.

Welcome Back, Jim Gordon [1.13][edit]

Butch Gilzean: Falcone's gonna have the whole city looking for us.

Alfred Pennyworth: Shall I get a broom then? Or would you rather continue crying over the shattered fragments of your young dreams?

Oswald Cobblepot: I bid you welcome to the official grand opening of my newest night spot!

Arnold Flass: Ah, Bullock, still dressing in the dark and smelling like a taphouse whore.

Jim Gordon: Sorry, Harv, I know you had a thing for her.
Harvey Bullock: I don't got a thing for nobody. My thing is for me.

Gertrud Kapelput: I am so proud of you. I could spit.

The Fearsome Dr. Crane [1.14][edit]

[Fish calls Maroni from a pay phone]
Fish Mooney: Hello, Sal.
Sal Maroni: Hey.
Fish Mooney: You sound surprised. Let me guess, your little friend Penguin told you I was dead.
Sal Maroni: As good as.
Fish Mooney: I'm just on vacation for awhile. I'm not gonna lie, I thought I was going to end up on top, but I got played. Turns out Penguin has been Falcone's man the whole time. They played us both for suckers.
Sal Maroni: Is that right?
Fish Mooney: Indeed. He told me himself right as I was about to gut him.
Sal Maroni: You understand why I might be skeptical, considering it's you telling me this.
Fish Mooney: Oh, wake up, dummy. You mean to tell me this whole time that you haven't suspected anything? That he hasn't made one slip that he's had to explain away? Or maybe even you wanted to believe his lies. But it still gnaws at you, the doubt.
Sal Maroni: Maybe a couple of times.
Fish Mooney: It's time for you to get your house in order, Salvatore. And remember who put you wise.

Edward Nygma: Good morning, Captain.
Sarah Essen: Morning, Ed.
Edward Nygma: The more you cut me, the bigger I grow. What am I?
Harvey Bullock: We're on a rooftop, Nygma. Don't tempt me.

Sarah Essen: Hey, don't stand so near the edge.
Harvey Bullock: You worried about me, Captain? You know I don't start drinking till noon.

Jim Gordon: You notice I don't ask you about your love life.
Harvey Bullock: My love life is an open book and a short and nasty one. But I'm working on the vic's friend in the phobia support group, and unless she's the killer, I think I'm in there.
Jim Gordon: You see why I don't ask?

Jim Gordon: How long have you been here?
Selina Kyle: Just last night... and a couple times before. I knew your girlfriend was gone, and I heard that you got sent to guard that loony bin, so I figured better here than sleeping on the street.
Jim Gordon: Have you seen Barbara?
Selina Kyle: No. Oh, so things are over between you two, huh? Sure you should be here, then? Maybe you're the one breaking in.
Jim Gordon: Get your things. I'm taking you someplace safe.
Selina Kyle: "Someplace safe", like Wayne Manor? That was your last great idea.
Jim Gordon: So someplace else. You're still the only witness to the Wayne murders.
Selina Kyle: Hmmm. You haven't talked to Bruce since you got back?
Jim Gordon: No, why?
Selina Kyle: Because I told him already. I didn't see anything. I lied. [pause] Sucks about your girlfriend. She's got some really nice stuff.

The Scarecrow [1.15][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: Can I help you?
Edward Nygma: I don't think so. Can you?
Oswald Cobblepot: What do you want?
Edward Nygma: What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you'll die.
Oswald Cobblepot: Is this... are you asking me a riddle?
Edward Nygma: Do you like riddles?
Oswald Cobblepot: No.
Edward Nygma: So do you give up?
Oswald Cobblepot: Friend, lookit...
Edward Nygma: Nothing. The answer's nothing. The poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you'll die.
Oswald Cobblepot: Who are you?
Edward Nygma: Edward Nygma.

Jonathan Crane: I'm not--I'm not even afraid like you.
Gerald Crane: We're all afraid. Every man and woman on the planet. We're all standing on the abyss, paralyzed by fear.

Oswald Cobblepot: One day soon, you'll need my help. You'll come to me. And walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Jim Gordon: Three dates, and I still haven't been to your apartment.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Well, what particular room in my apartment are you interested in?
Jim Gordon: Oh, I don't know. How's the kitchen?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Small.
Jim Gordon: Living room?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Dark.
Jim Gordon: What about the bedroom?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: The bedroom I think you'd like.

Bruce Wayne: Well, Alfred... we can only stay if you think you can handle it.
Alfred Pennyworth: If I can handle it? Mate, this place is positively cushy compared to some of the place I've slept at. Cup of tea, you cheeky monkey?

The Blind Fortune Teller [1.16][edit]

Jim Gordon: Do you know why you're here?
Jerome Valeska: Did you find out who killed my mother?
Jim Gordon: You killed your mother, Jerome.
Jerome: [stunned] Me?
Jim Gordon: You killed her up on that hill, and Mr. Cicero let you clean up in his trailer. He told you to scratch the Satanist stuff on the hatchet, and throw it off the bridge.
Jerome Valeska: Sir, that's absurd, and offensive.
Jim Gordon: But it's the truth. [looking at Cicero] What I don't know is why this man risked so much to help you. I think he's your father.
Jerome Valeska: You don't know what you're talking about. My father was a sea captain.
Jim Gordon: Am I wrong, Mr. Cicero?
Paul Cicero: Yes.
Jerome Valeska: He was a sea captain. His name was Sven Carlson, and he died at sea.
Jim Gordon: What was the name of his ship?
Jerome Valeska: He worked on a lot of different ships.
Jim Gordon: The one he went down in.
Jerome Valeska: [pause] She never said.
Jim Gordon: We can do a blood test to prove I'm right. It takes only half an hour to get a foolproof result. Isn't that right, Dr. Thompkins?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: That's right.
Jim Gordon: Save yourself a needle.
Paul Cicero: I do hate needles. I'm sorry, Jerome.
Jerome Valeska: What are you talking about?
Paul Cicero: He's right. I am your father.
Jerome Valeska: No you're not! Why would you say that?
Paul Cicero: You must have suspected the truth.
Jerome Valeska: You're not my father. My mother would never have...
Paul Cicero: Your mother was a cruel woman. She was often unkind to me. But she did once love me, in her way. And she loved you very much. That's why she gave you a better father.
[Jerome starts crying; then, suddenly, he begins laughing, and looks at Cicero with a sadistic smile on his face]
Jerome Valeska: My mother was a coldhearted whore who never loved anyone, and she'd never touch a pathetic old creep like you.
Paul Cicero: All these years, do you think I was kind to you because I'm such a good man? If I wasn't your father…would I would have helped you as I have after what you did?
Jerome Valeska: [pause] My father. Hmmm, I’ll be damned. That’s very funny. [laughs and makes a rimshot noise] Looks like the bitch got me with the zinger in the end.
Jim Gordon: Why did you kill your mother, Jerome?
Jerome Valeska: Oh, you know how mothers are. She just... kept... pushing. And I’m like, "Fine, mom, be a whore. Be a drunken whore, even. But don't be a nagging drunken whore" ...you know? "Don't come yell at me to do the dishes, if you've been banging a clown in the next room! [punches the table] You know? [laughs maniacally]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: There are plenty of things in this world that can't be explained by rational science.
Jim Gordon: Yeah, people who enjoy folk dancing, for instance. Doesn't mean ghosts exist.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You say you want a strong woman to share this crazy life you've chosen, but when push comes to shove, you want me to stay home and bake cookies.
Jim Gordon: Not cookies, necessarily. Pie. Any kind of pie.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Ha, ha!

Sarah Essen: Wait, back up a little. So you set the snake loose?
Jim Gordon: Yes, ma'am.
Sarah Essen: To track down the body?
Jim Gordon: Yes, ma'am. 'Cause snakes have an excellent sense of smell.
Sarah Essen: Well, now I know. And your prime suspects are a clown and an acrobat?
Jim Gordon: Yep.
Harvey Bullock: Ain't this one a doozy?

Jim Gordon: Hey. Sorry the date went south.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Are you kidding? Best date ever. Who gets to see a circus brawl?

Red Hood [1.17][edit]

Barbara Kean: You know, you're turning into quite a beautiful woman.
Selina Kyle: No, I'm not.
Barbara Kean: Remove the dirt, that old hood, those ratty clothes…I bet we find a princess underneath.

Oswald Cobblepot: Perhaps it's not our friends but... our enemies that define us.

Reggie Payne: The faces. I see them at night... when I'm alone. The faces... the faces of those we killed. Do you?
Alfred Pennyworth: I don't have to look for them, Reg. They find me.

Reggie Payne: He has nothing concrete. Just faces, newspaper articles. There's no grounds for an investigation, just suspicion, cobbled together theories…nothing.
Molly Mathis: Has he had outside council?
Reggie Payne: I don't think so.
Molly Mathis: And his caretaker, Mr. Pennyworth?
Reggie Payne: He's in the hospital.
Molly Mathis: For how long?
Reggie Payne: If he lives, a few weeks, give or take. [with difficulty] Now's the time to make a move on the kid.
[the board members leave, except for Mathis, who hands Reggie an envelope filled with cash]
Molly Mathis: Thank you for your service, Mr. Payne. I doubt we'll meet again.
Reggie Payne: He's just a kid…a good kid.
Molly Mathis: Goodbye, Mr. Payne.

Barbara Kean: You're a true beauty. Something you can use to your advantage. Your appearance can be a weapon, as powerful as any knife or gun.
Selina Kyle: Yeah? What good's it done you?

Everyone Has A Cobblepot [1.18][edit]

Arnold Flass: I'm just like the phoenix. I'll just rise again and again and again.

Bruce Wayne: [reading to Alfred] And then I looked at the stars, and considered how awful it would be for a man to turn his face up to them as he froze to death, and see no help or pity in the glittering multitude...

Harvey Bullock: You sure about this, Penguin? You're telling me this is where Loeb keeps twenty years of dirty secrets? Doesn't feel right.
Jim Gordon: Well, maybe that's the point. No one would suspect it.
Oswald Cobblepot: Which would you prefer, Detective Bullock? A sign saying "Super secret blackmail hoard"?
Harvey Bullock: You know, the last time the three of us took a ride, you were in the trunk. I liked that better.

Harvey Bullock: You tell yourself, "I'll just do this one bad thing. All the good things I'll do later will make up for it." But they don't.

Fish Mooney: I've gone great lengths to meet you, Doctor.
Dr. Francis Dulmacher: Indeed you have. I must say you have a remarkable constitution. I wish I could say that same of all my patients.
Fish Mooney: Oh. So I'm a patient now? No longer a prisoner?
Dr. Francis Dulmacher: I confess I don't know what you are. You seize control of the basement, take one my guards hostage, then scoop out your own eye. What am I to do with you?

Beasts of Prey [1.19][edit]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: New case?
Jim Gordon: Sort of. It's an unsolved homicide that a uni asked me to look into. It's an odd one.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Ooh, how so?
Jim Gordon: I thought you were hungry.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: What can I say? You had me at homicide.

Jim Gordon: Harvey, the victim deserves justice.
Harvey Bullock: Yeah, and I deserve a mute supermodel who likes pasty Irish guys and loves to cook. It's not happening.

Fish Mooney: Every night when I close my eyes, I pray to God that the nightmare doesn't come. That living, breathing man stitched together with arms and legs that weren't his. That nightmare you created. I've faced dangerous men, but none like you…Dollmaker.
Francis Dulmacher: So, you would rather take your own life than end up one of my creations?
Fish Mooney: Yes.
Francis Dulmacher: Well, Ms. Mooney, try anything like this again, and your nightmare will come true. I will bring you back from the dead if I have to, and make you into something the world has never seen.

Gabe: I still don't get. Why all this trouble for this pile of bricks?
Oswald Cobblepot: This was never about money, Gabe.
Gabe: Not about money? What else is there?
Oswald Cobblepot: All kinds of things motivate people. Lust, ambition, envy.
Gabe: Okay. What motivated you? Why do you want this place so bad?
Oswald Cobblepot: It's simple: This is where I'm going to kill Don Maroni.

Selina Kyle: Could've smashed your head in with a brick, you know?
Bruce Wayne: Why would you do that? Why'd you even say that?
Selina Kyle: Just thought you should know.

Under the Knife [1.20][edit]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: I do like that you think of me as a loved one.
Jim Gordon: I do. I love you.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: It only took a serial killer to get you to say that.

Edward Nygma: I can start a war, or end one. I can give you the strength of heroes, or leave you powerless. I can be snared with a glance, but no force can compel me to stay. What am I?
Tom Dougherty: You got me.
Edward Nygma: Love.

Oswald Cobblepot: You tell Sal it's over. The guns are bought. The killing room is waiting. He doesn't know it, but he's a dead man.

Jason Lennon: The person that I am now, I created. I brought him into being. I can do the same for you. Aren't you tired of playing games? Of hiding?

Selina Kyle: [waltzing with Bruce] Everyone's staring at us.
Bruce Wayne: Well, I am Bruce Wayne. [Selina shakes her head in exasperation] Well, I am!

The Anvil or the Hammer [1.21][edit]

Jason Lennon: Barbara, I love you. I love you like no one has ever loved you, but if you try to escape I will chain you to the ceiling and gut you.

Jason Lennon: You still don't believe I love you. You think I'm crazy. That's fine. I see the truth. I see your truth. I see that you've spent your whole life trying to kill it, but you can't--it's too strong. You revealed it to me the other night. I want to set that free, I want to set you free.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: I would never try to change you, Jim. Your sense of mission--it's part of what I love about you.
Jim Gordon: I thought it was my devastating good looks. That's a joke.

Sally: [of the Ogre] Promise me, when you find him, don't arrest him. Kill him.
Jim Gordon: You got it.

Kristen Kringle: I mean, why do I keep picking creeps?
Edward Nygma: Sometimes, with men, you need to read between the lines.
Kristen Kringle: Sometimes, with men, you need a drink.

All Happy Families Are Alike [1.22][edit]

Alfred Pennyworth: [to Bruce] Still looking for clues, sir? Or just breaking stuff?

Sal Maroni: Guys! Can you feel the buzz in the air? That's victory. Redemption. Power! When this old man dies, a new day begins. We will rule Gotham. We are building a dynasty. We will whip this town like a rented mule.

Carmine Falcone: That was your father's. He gave it to me a long time ago. A spur-of-the-moment birthday gift. I said no. Such a beautiful knife, and I have men with guns to protect me. He said take it. A knife is a good friend when you have no other.
Jim Gordon: You were that close.
Carmine Falcone: At one time. The point of the story, Jim--your father was the most honest men I ever met. But he carried a knife.

Oswald Cobblepot: I'm going to take your place, old man. I'm going to be king of Gotham!
Carmine Falcone: You? Never. You're going to burn in hell!
Oswald Cobblepot: I do worry about that. But you first, old friend. You first.

Oswald Cobblepot: [after defeating Mooney] I'm the king of Gotham... I'm the king of Gotham!

Season 2[edit]

Damned If You Do [2.01][edit]

Jim Gordon: "Zardon". That spelled how it sounds?
Zaardon: Two a's.
Jim Gordon: Close enough.

Alfred Pennyworth: I mean, a bomb, inside the house? I mean, you're having a laugh, ain't ya? A bomb?
Bruce Wayne: I was going to tell you. I wanted to present it as a fait accompli.
Alfred Pennyworth: Don't start talking French to me.

Jim Gordon: [about "collecting a debt" for Cobblepot] You'd do the same thing.
Harvey Bullock: Me? I'd serve a sandwich to Beelzebub, but that's me.

Bruce Wayne: [to Alfred] I'm building a bomb to blow down that door. You may assist me if you wish, but if not, some tea would be nice.

Victor Zsasz: Do I kill him now?
Oswald Cobblepot: No, make him a nice cheese toastie - yes, kill him now!
Victor Zsasz: Just wanted to be clear.

Knock, Knock [2.02][edit]

[Alfred has just destroyed Thomas Wayne's computer]
Bruce Wayne: It's ruined! Why would you do that? Answer me!
Alfred Pennyworth: It had to be done, Master Bruce.
Bruce Wayne: This was the key to exposing Wayne Enterprises. Everything I worked for, everything my dad worked for, is now gone! Because of you!
Alfred Pennyworth: If I knew what was down here, I would have never helped get you in. Look around you, look! Liters of blood. A bulletproof vest with two studs in it. Bullets, guns! Whatever is on that computer probably killed your dad, and I'll be damned if I watch you suffer the same fate, Master Bruce. I'm trying to protect you. I'm trying to keep you safe.
Bruce Wayne: I want you to go.
Alfred Pennyworth: I know you're upset...
Bruce Wayne: No! I want you to go, and never come back. Understand? You're fired.
[pause]
Alfred Pennyworth: Very well, Master Bruce. As you wish.

Alfred Pennyworth: You know, I once knew this geezer called Onslow in the Isle of Dogs, in the East End of London. Leery little scallywag he was, he was too smiley by half. Never trusted. Anyway, Lucius, one day he comes bowling up to me, and he asks me to do him this right iffy favor. Oh, it doesn't matter what it was. The point being, against my better judgement... I agreed to do it. But Lucius, I told him, I told him straight, "You let me down, Onslow, I will tuck you up, Sunshine. Like a kipper." He swears blind, swears on his mother's grave he would never do such a thing, but of course he did. Couldn't help himself, he let me down. So I tucked him up. Like a kipper.
Lucius Fox: ...What is a kipper?
Alfred Pennyworth: It's a type of smoked fish. Very nice with eggs and brown toast for breakfast. [Lucius nods] But what I learned from Onslow is this: there are two types of people on this planet, you see. Them you can trust... and them you can't.
Lucius Fox: I cannot disagree.
Alfred Pennyworth: Which kind are you?
Lucius Fox: Both kinds of people would give you the same answer, wouldn't they?
Alfred Pennyworth: Exactly. Exactly right. There lieth the problem, Lucius; you see, I need to confide in you. And I need to know that you're trustworthy.
Lucius Fox: Perhaps I should decline your confidence; I don't like the sound of these 'kippers.'
Alfred Pennyworth: Yeah, well it's a bit late for that, unfortunately. I mean, it's you, after all, Lucius, that created this mess when you told young Master Bruce that his dear old dead dad was a 'stoic'.
Lucius Fox: Ah.
Alfred Pennyworth: Ah, exactly. See, there's a problem: I've got no one else to turn to. I have to confide in you.
Lucius Fox: [nods] I see.
Alfred Pennyworth: Do you? I mean, just to be crystal clear about this: If it turns out that I can't trust you... I swear on my mother's grave, you, my old sausage... are a dead man.
Lucius Fox: I have only the best intentions for Bruce Wayne.
Alfred Pennyworth: [to the barman] Another gin-and-tonic please, guvner, and whatever this young man's drinking, one for yourself. [to Lucius] How are you at fixing computers?

Theo Galavan: Mr. Mayor, you want to know what I really am?
Mayor Aubrey James: [with a box on his head] Yes, sir.
Theo Galavan: Shall I tell you?
Mayor Aubrey James: Please, please.
Theo Galavan: At heart... I'm an ardent student of human nature. Fascinating paradox, we are. So wise, and yes so foolish. So brave, and yet so fearful. For instance, this is a glass jar. Inside of it is a hairy spider. A tarantula, I guess, but I'm no expert. In a minute, I'm gonna open that little hatch in the front of your box. I'm gonna drop the spider inside, and I'm gonna close it. That's Choice A. [the Mayor cries from inside of the box] Choice B: I open the hatch, you speak to your lovely secretary Maggie on the telephone, you tell her you've run away with some woman and you'll be sending written instructions shortly. So which is it, Choice A or Choice B?
Mayor Aubrey James: Choice B, please. Please, Choice B.
Theo Galavan: The telephone. Of course. It's human nature. [Theo opens the box hatch] See? There is no spider. But if you don't do what I ask, you'll wish there was one.
Mayor Aubrey James: Why are you doing this to me?
Theo Galavan: Don't fret so. You're part of a great endeavor. A great cleansing. Monsters are coming, Mr. Mayor. Monsters. Who will cleanse this city in blood and fire.

Sarah Essen: Very soon, little man, you will be dead, and the world will go on without you. No one will even remember your name.
Jerome Veleska: No, that's where you are wrong, old lady. We will leave a mark on this city. We will spread across it like a virus. Do you know why?
Robert Greenwood: There's nothing more contagious than laughter!
[Jerome shoots him dead]
Jerome Veleska: My line. There's nothing more contagious than laughter!
[Essen spits in his face]
Jerome Veleska: That was strangely pleasant. Do it again.
[she head-butts him]
Sarah Essen: That's gonna leave a mark.
Jerome Veleska: [laughing] You got me. My turn.

Jerome Valeska: You're all prisoners. What you call sanity is just a prison in your mind that stops you from seeing that you're just tiny, little cogs in a giant, absurd machine. Wake up!! Why be a cog when you can be free like us? Just remember - smile.

The Last Laugh [2.03][edit]

Theo Galavan: [to Barbara] When Jim Gordon has outlived his usefulness, I'm going to help you destroy him. Not kill him - destroy him. Body and soul

Alfred Pennyworth: Besides, there's going to be a magician. And you like magicians, don't you?
Bruce Wayne: No, I don't. I hate magicians.
Alfred Pennyworth: You know what I said about being normal?

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: So, uh, how do you go from being in the Royal Marines to a butler?
Alfred Pennyworth: Well, it is a bit tedious after a while. You know, parachuting into one global hot spot after another. Warlords putting ridiculous bounties on your head. Gets a bit boring, really.

Jerome Valeska: Hey, you're psychic. So, tell me, do I kill?
Paul Cicero: You will be a curse upon Gotham. Children will wake from sleep screaming at the thought of you. Your legacy will be death and madness.
Jerome Valeska: [leans in and whispers] Ha, ha, ha.

Harvey Bullock: [about Jerome] He's probably been planning this Maniax shtick since you sent him away.
Jim Gordon: He was just a kid.
Harvey Bullock: Every evil bastard in the world was "just a kid" once.

[Jerome is holding Lee hostage]
Jim Gordon: You son of a bitch!
Jerome Valeska: True, but not the point. Let's talk about what I want: $47 million, a helicopter, obviously, the dry cleaning I left at Mr. Chang's - be careful, the man is a crook - and, oh, I don't know, a pony. You got 10 minutes or I start killing people. And remember, this is being broadcast to every home in Gotham, so, y'know, don't let people die. Bye! [laughs hysterically, hangs up] I think that went well.

Barbara Kean: So, Lee, how's Jim doing? I hope he's not blaming himself for this Essen-being-killed thing.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You are one crazy bitch.
Barbara Kean: So rude. You know, I'm gonna make a prediction. Within a year, Jim and I will be back together. Want to know why? Because we're both the same. We both have a dark side. And one day, we will tell our grandchildren about this man-eating harpy who almost tore us apart! But in the end... love conquered all.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: [whispering] Please...
Barbara Kean: [leans in eagerly] What was that?
[Lee knees her in the stomach, hard. Barbara grabs a knife and lunges at her, but Jerome catches her arm.]
Jerome Valeska: Ah-ah. Hasn't been 10 minutes yet.

Strike Force [2.04][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: A year ago, I held Fish Mooney's umbrella. Now she's dead, by my hand, as is Maroni. Falcone is in hiding, and all of their businesses are mine. They all underestimated me. I suggest that you do not make the same mistake.

Secretary: [while Cobblepot murders Pritchard] Why are you doing this?
Butch Gilzean: Darlin', I got no freakin' idea. We've been doing crazy stuff all day long.

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: Crime unpunished is a crime in itself.

Harvey Bullock: Come on, Jim, we've seen his type come and go. Idealists, always looking to walk the straight line--Gotham doesn't have straight lines, it's got twists and turns and dead-ends.

Victor Zsasz: [after getting shot] Ugh. Unexpected.

Scarification [2.05][edit]

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: Anyone who doesn't wanna get shot, raise your hands!

Bridgit Pike: Who cares if you're free? What good's freedom if you're alone?
Selina Kyle: What good's family if you're a slave?

Butch Gilzean: Let me do the talking. Just smile and make like we're friends.
Selina Kyle: Friends? That's an extra hundred.
Butch Gilzean: Chiseler.

Edwidge: You're in deep water, Mr. Penguin.
Oswald Cobblepot: Thank you, Edwige. That is where penguins thrive.

Harvey Bullock: It's the onions that bring it together. The sweetness and the acid, am I right?
Jim Gordon: I hate stakeouts.
Harvey Bullock: Mmm, half of good police work is the ability to sit on one's ass when it's called for.
Jim Gordon: If that were true, you'd be commissioner.

By Fire [2.06][edit]

Bridgit Pike: Why are you helping me?
Selina Kyle: Maybe you remind me of me... if I was a doofus.

Theo Galavan: You've got a future here, Butch. You're a hard worker, and you're loyal to a fault. [pause] If only you were loyal to me.

Jim Gordon: And now he's dead. Nice work, Bullock.
Harvey Bullock: Oh yeah. My kicks did it? Maybe it's because he's fried like a taquito!

Edward Nygma: What do you call a three-legged cow?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: I am terrible...
Kristen Kringle: Lean beef.
Edward Nygma: Or supper. At my place.

Selina Kyle: You're cute, for a doctor.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Thanks. You're cute, for a gangster.

Mommy's Little Monster [2.07][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: You don't have the stomach to kill me yourself? No wonder your family was run out of town. You come from a long line of cowards.
Theo Galavan: [bored sigh] Fine.
[he grabs a gun and puts it to Cobblepot's head]
Theo Galavan: Any last words?
Oswald Cobblepot: Yes. I'm going to kill you. [stabs him]

Jim Gordon: You tell us what the hell is going on with Penguin, or we leave you with Zsasz.
Butch Gilzean: You can't do that.
Jim Gordon: Bullock?
Harvey Bullock: We can totally do that.

Silver St. Cloud: [after Bruce leaves the room] While it's just us girls, let me give you a little advice. You come around here again... it would be bad for you.
Selina Kyle: Who the hell are you?
Silver St. Cloud: I'm Bruce's friend. His only friend. And you're a piece of gutter trash. Let me ask you something: Would anyone miss you if one day you were just... gone? [Selina says nothing] I didn't think so.

Victor Zsasz: I'm here for Gilzean. Anyone who leaves now, leaves alive. Anyone who stays, dies. You have 60 seconds to do the math.

Theo Galavan: I had high hopes for you. I thought you were prepared to make the hard choices, to do whatever it takes to rid Gotham of its monsters.
Jim Gordon: I am. I've just decided I'm gonna start with you.

Tonight's the Night [2.08][edit]

Jim Gordon: I don't like this any more than you, but it is the only way.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: No. This is you, Jim. This is all you. She sucked you right back in, didn't she? Because she still has a hold on you. Her sickness and yours feed off each other.
Jim Gordon: What sickness? I'm not sick.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You see an abyss and you run toward it. That's not healthy.
Jim Gordon: I'm just doing my job.

Jim Gordon: He's a psychopath, Barbara. He's using you. He's laughing at you. And when he's done with you, you're just a loose end. He'll kill you.
Barbara Kean: You really don't like this Galavan guy, do you?

Alfred Pennyworth: Yeah, well, that's... not an offer, is it? That's bloody extortion.
Bruce Wayne: Yeah, well, I can't help but consider it, Alfred.
Alfred Pennyworth: Well, you shouldn't.
Bruce Wayne: There's a fine line between extortion and negotiation.
Alfred Pennyworth: Yes, there is, Master Bruce, but there's still a line.

Jim Gordon: You good?
Harvey Bullock: Anything that makes Captain Barnes tight-ass nervous, I'm all for.

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: I need to know that one of you isn't going to get sucked into all these mind games that Miss Kean is going to be pulled out there.
Harvey Bullock: Not to worry - no one's ever accused me of getting sucked into mind games.

A Bitter Pill to Swallow [2.09][edit]

Jim Gordon: You know what I like about those glasses? [shoots Kasich in the eye] They look like bullseyes.

Jim Gordon: I nearly crossed the line.
Captain Nathaniel Barnes: The line? Let me tell you something about the line. My third tour, we're stationed in the desert. We captured three insurgents, when this sandstorm kicks up. Zero visibility. Then we start taking fire. We're getting lit up. Suddenly, I'm alone. I come across one of our prisoners. He's a kid. His hands are zip-tied. But he figures what the hell, he's gonna use the sandstorm to try to escape; so I jump him. And I take my gun and I jam it in his mouth. I figured it was just a threat; show him who's boss, you know? Next thing I know... I just pulled the trigger. Blew his head off. That kid woke me up every night for years. Until I made my peace with him. See, I come to find out I'm just a man. And at the right moment, a man might do anything. Any man. There is no line. There's just the law. That's what separates us from the animals.

Edward Nygma: I need advice, Mr. Penguin. These murders... changed me. And like the butterfly, I've come to realize that I cannot be a caterpillar once again.

Theo Galavan: I'm disappointed you let a woman like that get in your head. If you're feeling upset, find yourself a nice librarian to torture. That always cheers you up.

Oswald Cobblepot: My mother was a saint! The only person who truly cared about me, and now she's gone and I have nothing left!
Edward Nygma: A man who has nothing that he loves is a man who cannot be bargained. A man who cannot be betrayed. A man who answers to no one but himself. And that is the man that I see before me. A free man.

The Son of Gotham [2.10][edit]

Jim Gordon: An assassin kills four cops, dares me to pull the trigger, and I don't. Explain that to me.

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: Does the universe usually like you this much, detective?
Jim Gordon: First time.

Selina Kyle: So, when you whispered to her before she went to her uncle, what did you say?
Bruce Wayne: You wanna know what I said.
Selina Kyle: Hey, if you don't wanna tell me, I can leave...
Bruce Wayne: I told her I've never met anyone like her. That I trusted her with my life. And that I felt tied to her in a way that I couldn't explain, but wouldn't change, ever. The best liars always tell the truth.
Selina Kyle: That was true?
Bruce Wayne: Yes. Just not about her.

Harvey Bullock: Just when you think Gotham's shown her last jewel, she reveals herself like a flower.
Jim Gordon: You're mixing metaphors.
Harvey Bullock: I'm in a freakin' sewer.

Theo Galavan: You've shown mettle and ingenuity, my boy. But that's all done now.
Bruce Wayne: What do you want?
Theo Galavan: Why, your life, of course.

Worse Than A Crime [2.11][edit]

Father Creel: For seven generations, the Wayne family has wallowed in vice and corruption. So tonight, at the forewarned hour of midnight, the Dumas shall be avenged, and the sins of the Wayne family shall wash away in your blood.

Lucius Fox: People, surely we should have a backup strategy, given the strong possibilities of failure.
Oswald Cobblepot: Au contraire, Mr. Fox. Failure is not an option!
Jim Gordon: What he said.
Lucius Fox: As you like.

Theo Galavan: What are you doing?
Tabitha Galavan: I don't know who you are anymore.
Theo Galavan: Oh, please, that is such a ridiculous cliché...

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You keep trying to kill yourself. Did I have you all wrong? Are you just crazy?
Jim Gordon: Of course not.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You're on the run from the law. You wanna attack the mayor with the help of a depraved sociopath. That's not crazy?
Oswald Cobblepot: [offended] I can hear you.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Shh. Don't speak.

Alfred Pennyworth: How do we know you haven't stitched us up? I mean, you've switched sides often enough. How do we know that you're not working with Galavan now?
Selina Kyle: How do I know you're not a Martian in a rubber suit?

Mr. Freeze [2.12][edit]

[after Gordon's testimony]
Harvey Dent: Captain Barnes. Captivating story.
Captain Nathaniel Barnes: It was.
Harvey Dent: You believe it?
Captain Nathaniel Barnes: [pause] I believe your investigation has not uncovered any evidence of criminal wrongdoing.
Harvey Dent: Careful. You're starting to sound like a lawyer.

Butch Gilzean: You're just that fond of me.
Tabitha Galavan: Strangely enough, I am kind of fond for you. I mean, normally, I go for handsome, intelligent men, not brutes, but you have an amazing... animal vitality about you.
Butch Gilzean: I'm smarter than I look.
Tabitha Galavan: You must be.
Butch Gilzean: Oh, funny lady.

Jim Gordon: That's the good news?
Harvey Bullock: No. But I thought "bad news and more bad news" didn't have the same ring.

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: You're willingly confessing to murder?
Oswald Cobblepot: Yes. I'm not a criminal, you know. I'm just...insane.

Nora Fries: My husband did terrible things, but he did those terrible things for my sake. I'm dying. He wants to save me. I can't tell you how sorry I am, but I can't betray him.

A Dead Man Feels No Cold [2.13][edit]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You were violently abducted. You nearly died. You must have been very scared. It's normal to feel trauma. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Bruce Wayne: I wasn't scared.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: No? What did you feel?
Bruce Wayne: I felt alive. Intensely alive. Do you think I'm abnormal?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Certainly unusual, if you're being honest.
Bruce Wayne: I'm always honest.

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: "Free my wife"? He thinks that by killing 7 cops he can get us to free his wife? I'll free my boot up his frozen ass!

Ethel Peabody: I know you say there are no hopeless cases.
Hugo Strange: And there are none. The beauty of life can spring forth from even the harshest of climates. We simply need to be more... aggressive in our treatment.

Oswald Cobblepot: Know this, woman: No one yet has failed to regret vexing the Penguin... and you are vexing me!

Harvey Bullock: Winter stakeout at the looney bin. Fabulous.
Jim Gordon: Nora doesn't have long. Fries knows that. He'll come soon.
Harvey Bullock: He better. We could freeze to death waitin'... which would be ironic.

This Ball of Mud and Meanness [2.14][edit]

Jeri: Matches lives in that big building on Grant Street between 9th and 10th. Apartment 9B.
Bruce Wayne: Why did you tell me that? I thought he was your friend.
Jeri: He is. Well, he was. Matches is gonna be happy to see you. You, my boy, are the childish hand of fate. That makes me God in a way, doesn't it? [chuckles] And who doesn't like to play God?

Jeri: Hey, maybe you've killed people before. You killed people before, blood?
Bruce Wayne: No. But no one's killed my parents before.

Bruce Wayne: You want me to kill you. Why?
Matches Malone: Little rich kid like you wouldn't understand.
Bruce Wayne: Try me.
Matches Malone: A man gets tired of doing wrong and going unpunished. Nothing happens. You start to wonder if there is a God. [finishes his drink] Tighten your left hand grip. Aim here, a little low. She'll kick.
[Bruce hesitates]
Matches Malone: Come on, pull the damn trigger!
Bruce Wayne: No.
Matches Malone: Don't lose your nerve now! Do it! Look at me. I'm a monster. You need to kill me.
Bruce Wayne: I wish you were a monster. [puts the gun down] But you're just a man.

Edward Nygma: Any news on the Kringle front?
Jim Gordon: Uh, no. Damn. Sorry. I've been a little busy. I'll get into, don't worry.
Edward Nygma: [chuckles] Me, worry?
Jim Gordon: I'll let you know as soon as I know anything. [leaves]
Edward Nygma: [to self] You'll let me know. I'll bet you will. Acting like you forgot all about Kristin Kringle. I'm sure you forgot! You suspect me somehow. That must be it. You're trying to lull me into a false sense of security while the claws of your investigation close around me, eh? Is that it, my little man? You take me to be a fool? We'll see about your clever little plan, Jim Gordon. We'll see. I can make plans of my own.

Bruce Wayne: [in a letter to Alfred] Alfred, I have left home for awhile to live on the streets with Selina. Please, wait and listen before you react. You need not worry that I'm in danger or that I have lost my mind. I've thought long and hard about this decision, and I know it's the right one. Malone's death made me realize a couple of things. You can't kill murder. You can't get revenge on evil. You can only begin to fight such things by not doing them. You can only fight them where they live, not just at Wayne Enterprises. In the streets, in the slums, in the bad parts of town. So that's where I'm going.
Alfred Pennyworth: He's lost his mind.
Bruce Wayne: I'm not going to start battling muggers or anything, but one day I am going to do something to help the people of Gotham. I don't know what yet, but I will. Meantime, I need to learn stuff. Number one, I need to learn how to live in the same world other people have to live in. Selina's given me a place to sleep, and will show me the ropes. So, like I say, there's no need to worry. I'll be in touch soon, and I'll come home eventually. Please, Alfred, trust me and honor my wishes. Don't try to bring me back. I need to do this. Sincerely, your good friend, Bruce.

Mad Grey Dawn [2.15][edit]

Gilzean's Henchmen: Boss, you'll never guess who just knocked on the door
Butch Gilzean: If I'll never guess, then why not just tell me, jackass? If you say I have three guesses, well, then that's a game. It's an annoying and stupid game, but at least it makes sense.

Tabitha Galavan: I was thinking about visiting your mother's grave.
Oswald Cobblepot: Oh?
Tabitha Galavan: Mm. I miss the old bird. Her sobs would often lull me to sleep at night. [mocking Gertrude's accent] "Oswald... Oswald. Save me."
Oswald Cobblepot: [laughs] That does sound like her.

Mr. Thatch: What kind of art thief would take time to defile such masterpieces?
Harvey Bullock: An ignorant one?

Edward Nygma: Hey, Pinkney. What do you call a tavern of blackbirds? (hits him with a crowbar) A crow bar. You get it? A crow bar? I know, it's kind of lame. Just came up with it on the spot.

Selina Kyle: I think Sonny is right. You do like pain.
Bruce Wayne: When it was happening... it was like nothing else existed. Everything I've been struggling with... emptiness... and confusion... it just vanished. For the first time, in a long time, I knew I was going to be okay. I knew that whatever Sonny did to me... I could take it. That he couldn't break me. That no one can.
Selina Kyle: [sighs] Nobody's unbreakable, Bruce.

Prisoners [2.16][edit]

Jim Gordon: How's Lee? She's been writing to me a lot. The letters stopped a few weeks ago. Know why?
Harvey Bullock: I didn't wanna be the one to tell you this.
Jim Gordon: Tell me what?
Harvey Bullock: Lee lost the baby, Jim. I'm so sorry.

Oswald Cobblepot: There's so much I haven't told you. So much that I'm ashamed of. I was a criminal. I've done horrible things. Hurt people, manipulated, lied. For power. For revenge. I've killed people, father.
Elijah Van Dahl: Our lives together started the moment I met you at the cemetery. Nothing before that concerns me. I forgive you for all your past transgressions. Be free of them, and live here in peace.

Oswald Cobblepot: Your heart?
Elijah Van Dahl: I have a hole in it. It keeps getting bigger apparently. I think my demons are feeding on it.

Carlson Grey: Watch this one. He just lost a child. Makes him mad. That's right. i hear everything. I see everything. Everything you know, I know.
Jim Gordon: I know something you don't know.
Carlson Grey: Yeah? What's that?
Jim Gordon: I know what kind of man you are.

Puck: Don't give up hope. I feel your sadness, I do, but you gotta choose life, y'know?
Jim Gordon: Okay. Choose life.
Puck: Good.
Jim Gordon: Listen, kid, when you get better, you learn a lesson here and you stay the hell away from me. I'm not a hero, and I'm not your friend. I'm just a convict.

Into the Woods [2.17][edit]

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: Bullock, this is your one and only chance to tell me where he is.
Harvey Bullock: Hand to God, Cap, I got no idea.
Captain Nathaniel Barnes: Stop it! You're not smart enough to play dumb.
Harvey Bullock: We both know Jim did not kill Pinkney!
Captain Nathaniel Barnes: I know that a court found him guilty. He wants to prove his own innocence, great. I hope he does. The public, the people of Gotham, the people you and I serve, they have to know, they have to see we're impartial, you understand?
Harvey Bullock: "The people of Gotham" can eat my socks!

Edward Nygma: Without fingers I point, without arms I strike, without feet I run. What am I?
Jim Gordon: You're a clock.

Ethel Peabody: If you keep releasing lunatics so liberally, you're going to get a bad reputation.
Hugo Strange: I'm not looking for a good reputation. We're releasing Barbara Kean into the wild to observe her behavior. She's a beautiful experiment.
Ethel Peabody: You know what she's going to do, don't you?
Hugo Strange: I don't, actually. But I do know it will be interesting.

Alfred Pennyworth: Turns out staring into the cold, dead eyes of the man who killed your parents doesn't bring the right amount of closure.

[Nygma has a gun on Gordon]
Jim Gordon: How did this happen to you? How did you become this?
Edward Nygma: You dummy. This is who I am. It was just finally admitting the truth to myself. Well, that and murdering some people.
Jim Gordon: I don't believe that.
Edward Nygma: You don't believe it? Why, Jim? Because it would make you incompetent to know I was under your nose the whole time? Or you don't want to admit there's a monster in all of us - because you of all people should know that! That's what made it so easy to frame you.
Jim Gordon: I was your friend.
Edward Nygma: Were you? Were you my friend, Jim? Or did you just pity me? "Oh, poor weird little Ed with his little silly word play and his riddles."
Jim Gordon: Completely insane.
Edward Nygma: Yeah, it's probably easier for you to think that. How about one last riddle for old time's sake? A nightmare for some, for others, a savior I come. My hands cold and bleak. It's the warm hearts they seek.
Jim Gordon: Death.
Edward Nygma: Right again. Goodbye, Jim.

Pinewood [2.18][edit]

Jim Gordon: Did I not make myself clear last night?
Barbara Kean: Oh, you did, and I wanted to respect your boundaries. But I was wondering if you knew that this is a women's only club. Plus, its members are of a, shall we say, criminal persuasion. Didn't think so. Which is why I'm here.
Jim Gordon: Let me guess. You're gonna talk to the Lady for me, get the information I need, if I just, what, trust you?
Barbara Kean: No one likes a smarty-pants. What's your plan, then?
Jim Gordon: My plan?
Barbara Kean: Mmm-hmmm.
Jim Gordon: My plan is to stick a gun in the Lady's face and have her beg me not to pull the trigger, until she tells me everything I want to know.
Barbara Kean: The Gordon special. I remember it well.

Hugo Strange: She was our first. One small stroke on the canvas of possibilities. Such promise. Do you remember?
Ethel Peabody: I remember the orderly she maimed, and the two she killed.
Hugo Strange: Creation is always so violent.

Bruce Wayne: I'm going out there, with or without you.
Alfred Pennyworth: Imagine my surprise.

Jim Gordon: What do you care, after everything that's happened? Let's say you've changed. Why do you care what I think?
Barbara Kean: Because when I woke up from that coma, the first image I saw was your face as you were holding onto me from the church window. You were trying to save me, because in that moment you didn't see the monster. You just saw me. That's what I've been holding on to. If you could just look at me like that again, I'd be okay. I'd make it.
Jim Gordon: You want to be a better person.
Barbara Kean: Yes.
Jim Gordon: That's your choice to make. I can't be there for you. You tried to kill Lee. I can't forgive that. I won't.

Karen Jennings: Your father started Pinewood, Bruce. His intentions were good, but the man in charge took advantage of him. He didn't realize the truth until it was too late. Pinewood was his burden, but it doesn't have to be yours.
Bruce Wayne: It's not a burden. It's who I am.

Azrael [2.19][edit]

Jim Gordon: Thank you.
Hugo Strange: For what?
Jim Gordon: I can read tells too. You're lying. I needed to be sure you were behind all this. And now I am.

Edward Nygma: Hello, Jimmy.
Jim Gordon: Go to hell, Ed.
Edward Nygma: Oh, you've already put me there - here. But not for long, my friend. I'll find my way out, 'cause this place is just one big puzzle, and puzzles are my forte. Nobody beats me.
Jim Gordon: I did. See ya never, Ed. [leaves]
Edward Nygma: That's what you think.

Captain Nathaniel Barnes: You can go to hell.
Azrael: I've been there. You go.

Bruce Wayne: Excuse me, captain. I find your flippant attitude to be inappropriate.
Captain Nathaniel Barnes: I find you to be kind of a pain in the ass.

Butch Gilzean: [about Barbara] She scares me.
Tabitha Galavan: Don't be a baby. She's harmless.
Butch Gilzean: Honey, I know you like her, but she's mad as a bag of squirrels.
Tabitha Galavan: She says she's cured.
Butch Gilzean: That's exactly what an insane person would say!

Unleashed [2.20][edit]

Harvey Bullock: Alright, everyone, listen up. I know we're all a bit freaked out right now. It's understandable. Some freak in a Halloween costume and cape comes into our house and takes out four of our brothers? [holds up a picture of Barnes in a coma] Does this to our captain? Now, I've been around a long time. It's like the bad guys in this town just keep gettin' weirder and weirder. But under that mask is just a man, and he can bleed just like you and me. And if he bleeds, he can be beaten. So, let's do what the Cap would tell us to do if he were here. Let's go out there and let's find that son of a bitch, and let's get him, whatever it takes!

Bruce Wayne: Have you seen the news?
Selina Kyle: Walking zombies in Gotham? What's new?

Alfred Pennyworth: Take one more step, mate, and I will put a bullet right between your bloody eyes.
Azrael: You think that'll stop me, manservant?
Alfred Pennyworth: I'd like to give it a go, if you don't mind.

[Nygma and Selina run into each other while tunneling through Arkham]
Selina Kyle: Forensics guy?
Edward Nygma: Street trash girl?
Selina Kyle: You framed Gordon!
Edward Nygma: And you tried to get a reward by turning him in.
Selina Kyle: [shrugs] Yeah, well...

Oswald Cobblepot: If he wanted to wear leather, he should just wear leather. This is Gotham City. Nobody cares.

A Legion of Horribles [2.21][edit]

Hugo Strange: I want to increase voltage to her cortex. 200 percent.
Lab assistant: Are you certain, sir? It'll be like she's being struck by a bolt of lightning.
Hugo Strange: Well, how much more damage could we possibly do? She's dead.

[Bruce is going on a dangerous mission to save Selina]
Bruce Wayne: I have to do this, Alfred. I don't have a choice.
Alfred Pennyworth: Of course you've got a choice, in the same way that I can choose to let you go with my blessing and tell you to bring that little girl home safe, or I take you right now, I can stick you on an airplane and fly you somewhere very far away.
Bruce Wayne: You can't.
Alfred Pennyworth: Don't be such a cluck. Of course I can. But I won't. For the past two years, Master Bruce, all I've tried to do is protect you and keep you safe, thinking that's what your father wanted. But you're not the same boy he left behind, are you? So, I have to ask myself: What would Thomas Wayne do if he were here? Your father took responsibility for his actions. He fought very hard for what he believed in. And I will not stop you from doing the same thing.

Harvey Bullock: Regarding last night's nocturnal activities, a suspect calling himself Azrael led a one-man assault upon Wayne Manor, whereupon an altercation ensued in which said suspect was blown up by a person or persons unknown. So he's dead.

Fish Mooney: My name is Fish Mooney.
Hugo Strange: I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?
Fish Mooney: I said, my name is Fish Mooney, bitch.

Hugo Strange: You've been searching for the man who killed your parents, but the answer has always been right in front of you. Bruce, your father orphaned you. His actions fired the bullet that killed him and your mother. He knew what he was doing, and he did it anyway. I'm begging you not to follow his path.
Bruce Wayne: You want to know if I wish my parents were alive? Of course. Would I give anything to have them back? Yes. But my father fought and died for what he believed was right. And if necessary, so will I.

Transference [2.22][edit]

Edward Nygma: Just between us, who does run Wayne Enterprises?
Hugo Strange: I could tell you, but then I would have to lobotomize you.

Edward Nygma: So, moving forward, sir, I would be more than happy to help you with any of your other cases.
Hugo Strange: You would be a wonderful addition to my staff, Ed, a wonderful addition, if you were only sane.

Hugo Strange: Miss Mooney, you have special talents. Some form of psychotropic chemical agent on your skin, I imagine. You are marvelous. Truly marvelous.
Fish Mooney: Always was.
Hugo Strange: Indeed.
Fish Mooney: I'd love to chat about me, but we have a bus to catch.
Hugo Strange: Ah, no. Miss Mooney, if you and the others on that bus were to appear in public, you would cause a revolution. An apocalypse. I simply can't allow you to just walk out of here.
Fish Mooney: Watch me.
Hugo Strange: Please don't go! Please. You're breaking my heart. I love you like my own daughter. No one could love you more, but I will have to kill you before I let you go. Please, choose life.
Fish Mooney: You would have made a great pimp.

Jim Gordon: You any good at defusing bombs?
Lucius Fox: I don't know yet. You?
Jim Gordon: Meh.

Harvey Bullock: Jim! Hey, Jim! Where are you goin'? We've got monsters to find.
Jim Gordon: And you'll find 'em. You got this, I know you do. And I have more important things to do. And Harvey?
Harvey Bullock: Yeah?
Jim Gordon: You're the boss now. Maybe, get a haircut?

Season 3[edit]

Better to Reign in Hell... [3.01][edit]

Harvey Bullock: How many escapees you brought in now? Hmm? Six? Five grand a pop? That's not too bad. What happens when there aren't any more?
James Gordon: I don't think Gotham's running out of monsters anytime soon.

Oswald Cobblepot: [about Mooney] Why didn't she kill me when she had the chance? I was powerless. She must have a larger goal. I-I need to know what she is doing.
Edward Nygma: Do you? When Alexander encountered the Gordian knot, a knot so complex no one had ever been able to untangle it... he just removed his sword and cut it in two. Details can be distracting. Sometimes, a simple solution is best. See, no matter what she is planning, just remember: Penguins... eat... fish.

Selina Kyle: You okay, Butch? World getting you down?
Butch Gilzean: [sighs] Yeah, I'm fine, kid. And you're too young to be in here. Scram.
Selina Kyle: Jeesh. Just trying to be nice. [leaves]
Butch Gilzean: [to Cobblepot, about Tabitha] Just seeing her kills me, you know?
Oswald Cobblepot: Get over it. And that child just stole your wallet.

Oswald Cobblebot: I implore the people of Gotham: If you love your family, if you love your children, find Fish Mooney. Until then, no one is safe.

Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: I don't know which one of you I wanna bash over the head with this cane more. [to Gordon] I get it. Life disappointed you. So what? Does that make you special? I'm done with you. You cross me again, I will have you skinned alive and your head put on a pike. [to Bullock] And you. When I came back, I saw the way you handled things while I was away. I swear I had this feeling right here. I thought I was having a heart attack. But it was pride, Bullock. In you. The next time I have that feeling, I'll know it was just gas.

Burn the Witch [3.02][edit]

Valerie Vale: I have a proposition...
Jim Gordon: Not interested.
Valerie Vale: Oh c'mon. Think of it as a way to say "I'm sorry for handcuffing you to a car door."
Jim Gordon: Except I'm not.
[Vale forces her way in, eyes the squalid apartment]
Valerie Vale: So, this is where you live. Anyone considering a career in bounty hunting should see this, preferably wearing a Haz-Mat suit. You don't bring women here, do you?

Barbara Kean: Jim. I had a dream about you the other night. You were in this horrible accident, and you lost both of your legs, and then I had to push you around in a giant baby carriage.
James Gordon: Good seeing you, Barbara.

Oswald Cobblepot: This is it, Butch. She's finally cornered, like a rat!
Butch Gilzean: Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? The cops are already there.
Oswald Cobblepot: GCPD is not Gotham. Gotham listens to me.

Fish Mooney: You know, I owned this club once, ran protection on the side. Every first of the month, people would pay me. Every once in a while, someone would come up short. They would say, "Mooney, I don't have the money", "Mooney, I need more time". They would cry and cry. And then I discovered that if I squeezed them and squeezed them and squeezed them, they always had more. You are going to fix me, or I swear to God I will make you pray for your death.

Oswald Cobblepot: Why didn't you kill me? I have gone over that night 1,000 times, and it doesn't make any sense. Why didn't you kill me? I would've killed you in an instant. Answer me!
Fish Mooney: Because you're mine. You were my umbrella boy, remember? You rubbed my feet when they were tired. And now look at you, the terror of Gotham. Everything I've done in my life, possibly the best thing was turning Oswald Cobblepot into... the Penguin. I couldn't destroy that. [looks to Hugo Strange] Ask him. He understands what it is to bring something into being. It is a part of you. Forever.
Oswald Cobblepot: [lowers his gun with tears in his eyes] Goodbye, Fish. Don't come back.

Look Into My Eyes [3.03][edit]

Jervis Tetch: [while hypnotizing a victim] Lock sense away, let loose the rascal. When I say it is so, your home is my castle.

Jervis Tetch: Who am I? I haunt your dreams like a ghost, for I know what scares you most. So you run, run, as fast as you can. There's no escape from the magic man.

Oswald Cobblepot: Gotham is rife with crime, Butch. Who better than a criminal to clean it up?

Mario Calvi: [whle stitching up Gordon's head] Lee speaks very highly of you. I'm Mario, Lee's fiance.
Jim Gordon: That's nice of her.
Mario Calvi: Jim, I don't know where your head's at with all this, but I want you to know that I love her very much. I'll take good care of her.
Jim Gordon: Good to know.
Mario Calvi: So we're okay?
Jim Gordon: Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't we be? Lee and I are old news. Water under the bridge. You won't get any problem from me. I wish you both nothing but the best.
Mario Calvi: Thank you. All done.
Jim Gordon: [smiling] But, uh, if you ever were to hurt her, I'd have to hunt you down and kill you.

New Day Rising [3.04][edit]

Alice Tetch: I'm not a monster. But if you want to see one, wait until my brother comes to see me.

Barbara Kean: [to Gordon] Oh, you need a favor. You must be monumentally screwed.

Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: Look, you've caught some bad breaks. Blackgate, Lee... I don't know what happened when you went to see her, but I can take a pretty good guess. But at some point, you're going to have to make peace with the decisions you've made.
Jim Gordon: What if I can't?
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: Take it from me, you don't want to wake up one day and realize that 20 years have gone by.

Jim Gordon: Guess you're gonna have to trust me.
Harvey Bullock: Remember to chisel that into my tombstone.

[Cobblepot has just been elected mayor]
Oswald Cobblepot: I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm useless to one, but priceless to two. Love. They love me.
Edward Nygma: If you would have bought the election, you never would have known. Now you do. Feels good, doesn't it?
Oswald Cobblepot: How did you know I would win?
Edward Nygma: I believe in you, Oswald. Even when you don't believe in yourself.
Oswald Cobblepot: [to Butch] You. You never believed I could win this election on my own. I think maybe you're not cut out for this after all.
Butch Gilzean: What?!
Oswald Cobblepot: Oh, don't worry, I still need someone to crack skulls. [to Nygma] C'mon, Ed, we've got plans to make.

Anything For You [3.05][edit]

Edward Nygma: The people love you. Gangs fear you. And tomorrow, the cream of Gotham will be gathering to celebrate you. What more could someone ask for?
Oswald Cobblepot: Someone to share it with.

Butch Gilzean: Let me see this through. When I get my place beside Penguin back, I'll protect you.
Tabitha Galavan: Oh, you'll do more than that. You'll owe me. And one day, I'm gonna collect.

Bruce Wayne: How long do I have to stay?
Alfred Pennyworth: As long as takes for you to be seen out in the world, Master Bruce, being Bruce Wayne and smiling.
Bruce Wayne: So this is our life now. Fake smiles and mingling. I miss the old days.
Alfred Pennyworth: So do I.

Butch Gilzean: I can't believe you'd turn on Oswald too.
Victor Zsasz: Uh, hello? Pot? Kettle? Black?

Bruce Wayne: There's something between us. You have to see that.
Selina Kyle: Rule one: Don't ever tell me what I have to do.
[She kisses him]
Bruce Wayne: So you do have feelings for me? I'm confused.
Selina Kyle: Good. [leaves]

Follow the White Rabbit [3.06][edit]

Jim Gordon: This is about your sister, isn't it? In your addled brain, you blame me for what happened to her.
Jervis Tetch: Don't you talk about her!
Jim Gordon: I got to know her, Jervis. She was a good person - that's why she hated you. Why she died trying to get away from you. You want revenge, kill yourself.

[Tetch is holding Lee and Valerie hostage]
Jervis Tetch: Now, introductions. Leslie Thompkins, meet Valerie Vale. You have one very important thing in common: You're two halves of Jim Gordon's heart.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You and Jim are made for each other.
Valerie Vale: Thanks.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: It's not a compliment.

Oswald Cobblepot: Hello, Luke, I'm Mayor Cobblepot. Why aren't you playing with the other children?
Luke: What if they don't like me?
Oswald Cobblepot: Well, how would you ever know if you don't give it a try? [smiles deviously] And if they don't like you, wait for them to turn their backs and push them down the stairs.

Isabella: You struggle to regain me when I'm lost... you struggle to obtain me. What am I?
Edward Nygma: Time.

Red Queen [3.07][edit]

Valerie Vale: You don't have any whiskey, do you?
Jim Gordon: Sorry.
Valerie Vale: You get a girl shot and you don't even bring her booze. You got a lot of nerve.

Kathryn Monroe: I'm from one of Gotham's oldest families, and I'm part of a group that... oversees things.
Oswald Cobblepot: What sort of things?
Kathryn Monroe: Everything that matters in Gotham. We've had our eye on you for some time, Mr. Cobblepot.
Oswald Cobblepot: [alarmed] Who exactly are you?
Kathryn Monroe: We'll contact you when the time is right. Enjoy your evening.

[Gordon is hallucinating that he is talking to his long-dead father, Peter]
Jim Gordon: When I was a kid, people used to say to me, "Your dad's a hero." All I knew is you went to court every morning, and you came home and played ball with me while mom made dinner. Then I got older, and I understand that you were a hero. Only for it wasn't just that you'd been a great DA, it was that you got up, day after day, faced down the worst the city had to offer, but you never brought that home to mom and me. You protected us. I wanted to be just like you. Turns out I'm the opposite. I destroy everything and everyone around me.
Peter Gordon: C'mon, Jimmy. I'm far from perfect. I got plenty of darkness inside me, I just don't dwell on it. Focus on the good you can do, that's what counts.
Jim Gordon: That's what I'm trying to do...
Peter Gordon: No, you're hiding behind self-righteous, lone wolf nonsense because you're afraid. Why is that?
Jim Gordon: The badge holds expectations. People want a hero, and I'm not.
Peter Gordon: You know what makes a hero, son? A man who values protecting others over protecting himself. A man who knows his limits, but isn't afraid to fail. A man who asks for help when he needs it. I wasn't always that man, but dammit, it didn't stop me from trying.

Blood Rush [3.08][edit]

Paulie Pennies: I didn't kill anybody, man. I'm just the cleaner, that's it.
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: You're the cleaner, that's all.
Paulie Pennies: Yeah.
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: You're just the guy who chops up the bodies and leaves them in a vat of acid, that's it.
[Barnes starts to advance on him]
Paulie Pennies: What're you doin', man? Just take me in, okay?
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: Oh, I bet that's what you want. Me to read you your rights, make sure you get a lawyer. Two, three years from now I see youn on some corner, free as a bird. Any other night, yeah. It would eat at me, but yeah, I'd do it. Not tonight.
Paulie Pennies: Toad, he's the one you want, he's the one who gave me the job.
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: Seeing a scumbag like you makes my blood boil. I just wanna punish you, make you suffer. Up until now I've been able to control it. But it's getting stronger inside of me.
Paulie Pennies: [terrified] Toad, he's the one you want! Please, arrest me!
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: We're past that.

Harvey Bullock: There you are. We got a call. Warehouse district. You comin'?
Jim Gordon: That's it? No "welcome back"?
Harvey Bullock: Please. If we had a big to-do every time you came back to the GCPD, we'd never catch any bad guys.

Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: You know that feeling, Jim, when you've won the battle, but you know you're going to lose the war?
Jim Gordon: Wars are fought one battle at a time, sir.

Mario Calvi: You once told me that I ever hurt Lee, you'd kill me. Well, now it's my turn. I love Lee, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
Jim Gordon: Well then, word of advice: Lose the jealousy. It's weak.
Mario Calvi: Gordon?
[Gordon turns to face Mario, who punches him in the face. Gordon pauses for a moment, and wipes the blood from his mouth]
Jim Gordon: For Lee, I'll let you have that one.

The Executioner [3.09][edit]

Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: This city's in a crossroads, Gordon. The question is, will good men fight for it, do what's necessary? The decision is yours to make.

Jim Gordon: [upon discovering that Barnes is a murderer] What happened to you? How did you become this?
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: This is who I've always been. I just needed something too unlock it.
Jim Gordon: What are you talking about?
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: You're just gonna say that I'm sick. Well, I'm not. I have never been so clear and so strong in my life.

Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: Day after day, criminals thumbing their nose at the law. Well, today, I draw a line in the sand. The only question is, where do you stand?
Jim Gordon: Against you.

Ivy Pepper: Oh my God, you guys are a couple?
Bruce Wayne: Yes.
Selina Kyle: No.
Bruce Wayne: Wait... we're not?
Selina Kyle: I'm not talking about this right now!

Harvey Bullock: Sorry I doubted you.
Jim Gordon: You didn't. Not when it mattered.

Time Bomb [3.10][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: We have a history, you and I. But if you ever pull a gun on me again, Olga will be cleaning your brains off the floor. She's a real whiz with stains.
Barbara Kean: [smiles] Bye, Pengie.

Tabitha Galavan: Tell me what you want.
Edward Nygma: I want to break Butch's heart before I end his life. Y'know, kind of an "eye for an eye" thing. [glances at Tabitha's bound wrist and smiles] Although, in this case, I'll take a hand.

Butch Gilzean: Tabby, baby, the past few weeks have been the best of my life. And it's OK that you don't love me, because I love you. For a guy like me, that's enough. [to Nygma] And you. You're damn right I killed her. I killed the woman you loved. You know what she said to me right before I put a bullet in her brain? You know what she told me? She said she wished she would have been with a real man.

Barbara Kean: This woman, Isabella. Nygma said she was a librarian, right? Well, who kills a librarian? I mean, what's the motive?
Butch Gilzean: I dunno. Maybe someone had an overdue book and things got out of hand.

Barbara Kean: I am tired of sitting at the kids' table. If I'm right, we can have way more than vengeance. We can have it all. We don't need to go to war. All we need to do is start one.

Beware the Green-Eyed Monster [3.11][edit]

Harvey Bullock: This is just a classic case of wrong place, wrong time. One man takes another man's skull in his bare hands and crushes it. I see it all the time.

Mario Calvi: Jim, Jim, you're ahead of schedule. Our paths weren't meant to cross just yet. But I'm not going to kill you yet. I do that, you become the martyr, and she'll carry you in her heart forever. No, before I kill you, she has to hate you. And she will.

Jervis Tetch: I know of whom you speak, oh yes indeed! I stabbed him, and pricked him, and caused him to bleed. But nothing you can say, no words you might possess, can pry from me the smallest guess. For this game is my game, I say when it's done - and right now I'm having too much fun!

Barbara Kean: (coughs) Penguin!
Edward Nygma: Did you just fake cough "Penguin?"

Jervis Tetch: Nothing! Nothing! I'll tell you naught. His name shall be neither spoken nor taught. He'll cut and he'll crush, and the blood will run thick. Though from healer to killer is no easy trick.

Jim Gordon: I love you. I love you. I never stopped. I should have come to see you as soon as I got out of prison, but I couldn't. I was ashamed. I felt I had to set things right. But I did finally come, Lee. I saw you in the window with him. You were smiling. You looked happy. I couldn't bring myself to come in. I've regretted it every day since. Please, don't marry him.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: After the wedding, Mario and I are leaving Gotham. I'll never see you again.
Jim Gordon: Lee...
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: [crying] Damn you for telling me this now! You come in here with these crazy accusations, and when I don't believe you, you pull this? How dare you! [she slaps him]
Jim Gordon: Don't you see? He wants you to hate me.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Well, he succeeded.

Ghosts [3.12][edit]

Victor Zsasz: You messed up, Jim. Killed the Don's son. He's beside himself. I've never seen him like this before.
Jim Gordon: I wanna speak to him.
Victor Zsasz: Oh no, we're way past that. It's only a matter of time before he gives the nod to put a bullet in your head.
Jim Gordon: You could try.
Victor Zsasz: I don't... try. And I never stop. You won't see me coming, and you won't feel a thing. If we don't get a chance to talk before then, it's been really nice knowing you. You're a good egg. Also, nice shot on Mario. Never liked him.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You're the real virus, Jim. You seep into people's lives until you destroy them.

Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: You want to know about you husband. Was he a diseased maniac? Would he have killed you? Well, I can tell you this: I've never felt better in my life. Clearer. Stronger. More focused. Even now, I can feel it coursing through my veins, restoring my body.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: So Mario could have lived a normal life with it. It would have given us time to find a cure. Jim didn't didn't have to kill him.
Capt. Nathaniel Barnes: Cure? This virus isn't the disease, it's the antidote! It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't need a cure. The murderers, thieves, rapists... James Gordon is one of them. When I get out of here - and trust me, I will - he'll be the first that I judge. He, and all the other human garbage that plague this city. All will be tried, convicted and executed! I will purge Gotham, and the innocents will thank me! Their savior! Their executioner!

Smile Like You Mean It [3.13][edit]

Jim Gordon: If you wanna blame me for Mario's death, that's fine. I can live with that knowing you're okay. But don't let your hatred of me turn you into something you're not.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Or what, Jim? If I change too much, you're gonna put two in my heart just like you did to Mario?
Jim Gordon: I'll talk to Harvey. You came back to the job too soon. You need some time off.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Yeah, you do that. And I'll tell the Commissioner that I saw the acting captain punch a suspect in the face. [pause] Don't ever touch me again or tell me what to do.

Jerome Valeska: Wow, that is quite a story. Now, I know I've been dead, but doesn't that sound a little crazy to you?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Hey, maybe you're dreaming. Try shooting yourself.

Dwight Pollard: Breathe, James. I haven't touched a hair on your pretty girlfriend's head.
Jim Gordon: You're just repeating what Jerome said to me last year.
Dwight Pollard: I am Jerome.
Jim Gordon: No, no, you're just the understudy pretending to be the star. You're a fraud.
Dwight Pollard: No! I AM JEROME! I am Jerome, and soon Gotham will know it!
Jim Gordon: Well, for the record, you're doing one thing Jerome never did: boring me.

Jerome Valeska: Some of you may know, I died. Uh-oh. Take it from me, death is... dull. But coming back, that is something! Leave it to death to give you a whole new perspective on life. And I would like to share that with you. Tonight, Gotham, in the darkness, there are no rules. So Gotham, tonight, do what you want. Kill who you want. And when morning comes, you too shall be reborn.

The Gentle Art of Making Enemies [3.14][edit]

Jim Gordon: Do you know where Jerome is? Where is he?!
Maniac: Where is he? Look around! He's everywhere!

Edward Nygma: I know it was you, Oswald! Isabella was my everything and you took her from me! And now I've taken everything from you. Well, almost everything. You still have your life. But that ends tonight.

Bruce Wayne: You killed Alfred.
Jerome Valeska: Is that what this is about? Yeesh. Are all rich kids this close with their butlers?

Bruce Wayne: Is there a plan for all this madness?
Jerome Valeska: These people don't want a plan. They want an excuse. A mother who dreams of strangling her child. A husband who wants to stab his wife. All they want is someone to tell them, "Do it. Kill them. It doesn't matter." It doesn't. [turns to dunk tank game, where a hostage is suspended over a tank of piranhas] Ooh, I love this game!
Bruce Wayne: You won't get away with this.
Jerome Valeska: Already did. Now shush. Need to concentrate.
Bruce Wayne: A few dozen brainwashed maniacs can't take the city hostage forever.
Jerome Valeska: Well, duh!
Bruce Wayne: So what's the point?
Jerome Valeska: The point is that all these people out here looting, robbing, killing, they're the people who wash your car, who pour your coffee, who take out your trash. And what happened the minute the lights went out? They showed their true faces. They showed how quickly they wanna open up your rich boy veins and bathe in your blue blood. That is the point.
Bruce Wayne: That's not true. There are good people in Gotham.
Jerome Valeska: [laughs] Like who? The sheep who lock their doors and crawl under their beds? Face it, kid: Gotham has no heroes.

Jerome Valeska: Alright folks, this is very important: whatever you do, please, definitely try this at home. Preferably on a family member.

How the Riddler Got His Name [3.15][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: You're the only person I know who frets about their drug-induced hallucination making a mess.

Harvey Bullock: I do not have the resources to allocate to your hunch. Did you hear how I used that word "allocate," huh?

Harvey Bullock: Hey, we can do this the hard way or the easy way, and I'm wearing my nicest suit, so I prefer the easy way.

Lucius Fox: Ed, you killed six people, seven including Penguin. You just announced to the entire city that you are a villain and a murderer. Ed, if there is any part of your mind that is not insane, listen to me: You need help. Turn yourself in.
Edward Nygma: My actions seem mad to you.
Lucius Fox: To anyone.
Edward Nygma: I... I just killed the best friend that I ever had. My search for a teacher or an enemy, that was just me trying to hold on to him for a little bit longer. But now, I know who I am without him.
Lucius Fox: So who are you now?
Edward Nygma: Oh, c'mon, Foxy. I'm the Riddler!

Edward Nygma: I want you to know that our friendship meant something to me. I cared about you, and I miss you.
Oswald Cobblepot: Gee. Almost makes up for being dead. I hate to burst your bubble, but no one is going to afraid of "The Riddler".
Edward Nygma: Maybe not yet. But they will be.

These Delicate and Dark Obsessions [3.16][edit]

Kathryn Monroe: Judgment has been passed. Gotham must fall.

Harvey Bullock: A secret organization that controls all of Gotham? If that's true, someone should tell them they're doing a pretty terrible job.

Ivy Pepper: Raise your right hand. Do you swear to be loyal and true to Penguin?
Gabe: No.
Ivy Pepper: Ouch.
Oswald Cobblepot: I don't understand. Why can't he be loyal?
Ivy Pepper: Go ahead, answer.
Gabe: I never was. I only followed you out of fear. We all did.
Oswald Cobblepot: Actually, I can live with that. Fear and respect - Management 101.
Gabe: No one ever respected you. We always saw you for what you are: a tiny freak who used to hold an umbrella. Nothing more.
Oswald Cobblepot: A freak? A freak? [grabs a trowel and stabs Gabe repeatedly] Yes, a freak! A FREAK, A FREAK, A FREAK!

The Shaman: Over the centuries we tried to break the cycle of crime and violence that plagues Gotham, only for it to start up again. And do you know why it does? People are afraid, and fear breeds hopelessness.
Bruce Wayne: I'm supposed to believe you care about the people of Gotham?
The Shaman: I do. Very much. Which is where you come in. Gotham needs something I believe only you can provide.
Bruce Wayne: What?
The Shaman: A protector, Bruce.
Bruce Wayne: I can't protect Gotham, not all by myself. No one can.
The Shaman: Perhaps. But if you were to become a symbol, a symbol against fear, then Gotham can be reborn.

The Primal Riddle [3.17][edit]

Tabitha Galavan: [to Nygma] You want to become famous? Try dying. I can help you with that.

Jim Gordon: Listen to me - you need to drop this. You're going to get yourself hurt.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You think I care what happens to me? I am sick of watching you destroy people's lives and getting away with it. When I find out what you did, I am gonna make sure you pay for it, and I am gonna enjoy it.

Jim Gordon: Harvey, you're a genius.
Harvey Bullock: Yeah, tell me something I don't know.

Jim Gordon: I considered you a friend.
Edward Nygma: I can sneak up on you, or be right in front of you without you even knowing. But when I reveal myself, you will never be the same. What am I?
Jim Gordon: I don't care, Ed...
Edward Nygma: Betrayal. It's how every friendship ends. So what good are friends, anyway?

Light the Wick [3.18][edit]

The Shaman: All that pain and anger. You think it's strength - it's not. You think you can harness it - you can't. You think it's a part of you, but it doesn't have to be. Do you know why you were defeated?
Bruce Wayne: No.
The Shaman: Your rage, Bruce. You seek to control it, but it controls you, and has ever since that night. Rage and pain are two sides of the same coin. I can release you from the pain of that night, and when I do, nothing will be able to stop you.

Kathryn Monroe: Gotham is sick. Crime and violence are so common that people have become numb to it. To heal the city, we have force them to take notice.
Jim Gordon: Force them how?
Kathryn Monroe: By showing the people of Gotham their darkest selves.

The Shaman: I've been waiting for you a long time, Bruce. Together, we will make Gotham pay.

Harvey Bullock: Hugo Strange, you're under arrest for, uh, trying to weaponize the, uh... oh hell, you know why.

All Will Be Judged [3.19][edit]

Harvey Bullock: How come no one ever hides something in a place I'd actually like to search, y'know? Like a brewery or a strip club?
Jim Gordon: Or a casino.
Harvey Bullock: Exactly. All I'm asking for is a little consideration.

Jervis Tetch: Twinkle, twinkle, pretty doctor/How I wish I could unlock her/Here in Arkham, what a wonder/Too bad her husband's six feet under.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Clever.

[Alfred produces the shattered pieces of the crystal owl]
Harvey Bullock: Wait, this is is the owl? What the hell happened to it?
Alfred Pennyworth: Jerome Valeska smashed it to bits when he broke into the Manor, didn't he? Can you put it back together again?
Harvey Bullock: I can't even do a jigsaw puzzle. I just mash the pieces in with my fists until they fit.

Alfred Pennyworth: Right. Tell me where Bruce Wayne is, or I guarantee you'll regret it.
Jim Gordon: Alfred, I've got this.
Kathryn Monroe: Good cop, bad cop? That routine's a bit tired, isn't it, gentlemen?
Alfred Pennyworth: Yeah. But I'm not a cop, am I? [he jams a knife through her hand] I'm a butler!

Pretty Hate Machine [3.20][edit]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Don't you want to see what the virus brought out in me, Jim? What it's shown me?
Jim Gordon: No.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: My love for you. Pretty obvious when you think about. Perfect Dr. Lee Thompkins. Why would she be drawn to a man with so much darkness, so an appetite for violence? Unless something inside her liked it? Craved it? Needed it?
Jim Gordon: It's not true.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: The virus has shown me how to give in to my deepest desires, and I will no longer deny myself what I really want.

The Shaman: This detonator triggers the bomb. Thousands will be infected with the virus. The city will be torn apart, and out of the ashes, a dark hero will rise: you. When the time comes, you must press this button. Are you ready to embrace your destiny, Bruce?
Bruce Wayne: Yes. Gotham must fall.

Butch Gilzean: Hiya, Fish. How you been?
Fish Mooney: Well, let's see: I was alive, then I was dead, then I was alive again. Things are looking up.

Destiny Calling [3.21][edit]

Edward Nygma: [watching the virus wreak havoc on the city] As the flames of hedonism licked the very foundation of its society, Nero played and sang "The Destruction of Troy". I will say this about the Court of Owls: they have style!

Hugo Strange: He has it. It's in his eyes. [laughing] He has the virus!
Fish Mooney: Really. So tell me, James, what's it feel like?
Jim Gordon: Like it's taking all my will power not to kill you.
Fish Mooney: Oh my!

Bruce Wayne: I want you to leave.
Alfred Pennyworth: Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen, is it, mate? You have to remember who you are.
Bruce Wayne: I know who I am. I have a destiny.
Alfred Pennyworth: Now you listen to me. That man who wanted you to detonate that bomb, whatever he promised you - freedom from pain, power - none of it, none of it was real. I want you to remember what is real.
Bruce Wayne: I know what's real! I got vengeance for my parents' murder! That's real!
Alfred Pennyworth: No. No, that's not real. What's real is that every time that you were sick when you were a kid your mum used to sit up with you all night and read until you fell asleep. That's real. Or when you were seven and you took your silly rowing boat out and you got lost in that storm, and me and your dad were out, shouting, screaming, losing our minds, and when your dad found you, how he cried. That's real. Yes, your parents died in that alley three years ago, and maybe that man took away the pain of that night, but there is no life, there is no love, without pain. He could not touch the love your mum and dad gave you, that you still have in you. [touches Bruce's heart] That you still have in here. The same love I have for you. I love you, Master Bruce. I would do anything for you. I would die for you. You must find that love again. Come back to me, Master Bruce.

Ra's al Ghul: I have been alive for more years than you can imagine. I have seen and done things that would shake the very core of what you believe. I am thought to be a demon. A saint. A ghost. But for all my years, all my travels, there is one thing that I have never found: a true heir. But I need to know if you're ready.
Bruce Wayne: I am.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Where's Babs?
Butch Gilzean: What do you want with her?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: That's none of your business, errand boy.
Butch Gilzean: What did you call me?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Sorry. You're not an errand boy. You're more of a shoeshine boy. Did she give you a little stand in front, cute little hat? That's more your speed.

[Gordon and Bullock find Fish Mooney, Victor Fries and Bridget Pike battling ninjas of the League of Shadows as Penguin and Hugo Strange watch]

Harvey Bullock: Sweet Mother Mercy!

[Gordon, influenced by the Alice Tetch virus, attacks and kills all the ninjas with one of their katanas. Reflexively stabbing behind him, he accidentally stabs Fish in the stomach, to Penguin's horror. Fish drops the antidote to the virus, shattering all but one of the vials]

Fish Mooney: You... damn... fool!
Oswald Cobblepot: FISH! [he runs to her side as she collapses, Gordon drops the katana]
Fish Mooney: Oswald...
Oswald Cobblepot: It's okay, its'- its'- we, we can get you some help-
Fish Mooney: No, no... I've done this enough times... to know I'm finished.
Oswald Cobblepot: Do not say that. We will get you help-
Fish Mooney: Listen to me! [convulses in pain] Listen to me. Make this city yours... or you burn it to the ground.

[she dies]

Heavydirtysoul [3.22][edit]

Barbara Kean: You and the ex are infected, huh? I hear Lee wants to remove my pretty little head from my body. Is it weird that kinda makes me like her?

Harvey Bullock: What's the matter, you've never seen a mason jar full of blood before?

Edward Nygma: You will always fail, Oswald, because you will always let your base emotions drive you. Hate. Anger. Fear. Love.
Oswald Cobblepot: Shut up!
Edward Nygma: You wanna know why I could never love someone like you, Oswald?
Oswald Cobblepot: I'm warning you...
Edward Nygma: Because you are a spoiled child who throws a tantrum anytime he doesn't get what he wants! Especially when what he wants doesn't want him back.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: [in a note to Gordon] Jim, I knew if I saw you I might not have the courage to leave, and I need to. I finally understand Gotham in a way I suspect you always have. It's a place where the strongest and the most cunning rule. Where the cost of survival is paid for by others, and everyone feels alone. Having the virus showed me the city as it truly was - as I truly was. In so many ways, the virus made me feel reborn. But if having the virus allowed Gotham to embrace its worst self, the cure should remind us there's always hope, a chance to remember who we can be, rather than who we are. I don't know if Gotham deserves saving, but if anyone can save it, it's you. And in return, maybe it can save you as well. And then maybe, one day, it will send you back to me. Until then, love always, Lee.

Season 4[edit]

Pax Penguina [4.01][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: This is Gotham City. There will always be crime. What I am offering is crime in the hands of professionals, and held to agreed upon terms.
Mayor Burke: From which you'll profit.
Oswald Cobblepot: God bless America.

Harvey Bullock: [sees Gordon's bloody nose] Ooh, ouch.
Jim Gordon: I think we can forget about backup.
Harvey Bullock: I see you talked to some of your fellow officers. Probably not a bad thing.
Jim Gordon: How's that?
Harvey Bullock: Guys need to let off steam, resentments don't fester.
Jim Gordon: Next time, you can get punched in the face.
Harvey Bullock: This beautiful mug? No one would dare.

Victor Zsasz: You ladies were not easy to track down. [glances around at shabby apartment] Although I can see why you don't advertise. Didn't you used to be rich?
Tabitha Galavan: That was before your boss stole my club.
Victor Zsasz: Well, you murdered his mom and tried to kill him, so... call it even?

Bruce Wayne: I have my things in the car. We can stop them in the parking garage.
Alfred Pennyworth: Absolutely not, Master Bruce.
Bruce Wayne: Alfred, Penguin is gonna to take those men out and kill them.
Alfred Pennyworth: Undoubtedly so - but as you said before, you can make a difference. There is a time for masks, and there is a time for Bruce Wayne.

Grady Harris: Crane! You gotta make more of that fear gas; we gotta get Merdon outta jail! Crane! [he opens the closet they locked Crane inside and sees him with his back turned] ...Crane?

[Crane turns around, revealing that he is wearing the scarecrow they tormented him with as a costume]

Jonathan Crane: ...Jonathan Crane isn't here anymore. [sprays Grady with fear gas from a wrist launcher, causing him to scream] It's just the Scarecrow.

The Fear Reaper [4.02][edit]

Harvey Bullock: This place smells like death... which reminds me, there's a Thai joint near here if you wanna get something to eat later.

Jonathan Crane: I cured myself, warden. See, I feared the Scarecrow... but now we are one.
Warden: Jonathan, please...
Jonathan Crane: You're not listening to me, warden! Jonathan Crane is no more! Call me by my true name - The Scarecrow!

Selina Kyle: I'm sick and tired of not being taken seriously, of all those selfish guys out there who treat me like I'm stupid. Alone, I can't do much about it. With Barbara, maybe. But with you and Barbara? The three of us could give all those creeps a run for their money.

They Who Hide Behind Masks [4.03][edit]

Alfred Pennyworth: Lucius Fox's armor is bullet-proof; my mask is not.
Bruce Wayne: Don't get shot in the face. Got it.
Alfred Pennyworth: Do I detect a note of sarcasm, Master Bruce?

Myrtle Jenkins: In anticipation of our partnership, I have been working on a few riddles.
Edward Nygma: Yes, riddles! That's exactly what I need. That's gonna make me feel like myself again. Fire away.
Myrtle Jenkins: Okay. What's black and white and read all over?
Edward Nygma: Easy. A zebra with a gaping hole. Next.
Myrtle Jenkins: Um... no, it's actually a newspaper.
Edward Nygma: That's ridiculous. There's nothing red in a newspaper. Next.
Myrtle Jenkins: Well it makes sense if you...
Edward Nygma: Next!
Myrtle Jenkins: I have a face and two arms, but no body. What am I?
Edward Nygma: A deformed baby. Come on! Surely you can do better than this!
Myrtle Jenkins: The answer is a clock. Y'know, hands? [pause] I think there's something wrong with your brain, Ed.
Edward Nygma: There is nothing wrong with my brain! The problem is your riddles. Bring me a riddle that is worthy of my name!

Sofia Falcone: Do you ever think about walking away from it all?
Jim Gordon: Gotham? Sometimes. But I can't.
Sofia Falcone: Why not?
Jim Gordon: It's in my blood. My father spent his entire life fighting for the city. He never took the easy way out. Neither can I.

The Demon's Head [4.04][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: You know, your father taught me many things. Among them was to nurture a healthy paranoia. For example: when I took over, some of his old capos went underground. Now, perhaps they vanished for good... or perhaps they're waiting for Falcone to return and lead the rebellion. [laughs] Who knows? But I hear your father's voice whispering in my ear: "Be careful". Now, I need to know that you are not on some fool's errand to rebuild your father's empire. Otherwise... [gestures towards Zsasz]
Victor Zsasz: [whispers] I'm gonna stab you.
Sofia Falcone: I was 13 when my father first sent me away. He said that Gotham was too dangerous. This is my home. I wanted to come home. Is that enough?
Oswald Cobblepot: Gotham - mother to us all. [smiles] I think we have nothing to worry about. Give your father my best, will you?

Alex Winthrop: I don't know how you do it. You fought those men, and I... I just froze. Same as when that man killed my grandfather.
Bruce Wayne: Fear is normal. in the alley where my parents were killed, I was terrified. I just stood there. There's nothing wrong with being afraid. Once you understand that it's normal, you can put it in its place, and you can act. Fight back.
Alex Winthrop: I felt bad for you when that happened to your parents. You were all the kids at school talked about.
Bruce Wayne: What did they say?
Alex Winthrop: That you lived alone in a mansion. That you didn't go to school. That you flew around the world in a jet. They made you sound weird.
Bruce Wayne: Maybe I am.
Alex Winthrop: No, you're cool! I'm weird. [pause] You're a little weird too, I guess, but you're... weirdly cool.

Jim Gordon: You say this knife is important to your country. Please explain.
Ra's al-Ghul: There is an ancient story amongst my people of a man who could not die. In his time, he committed terrible acts, raised a great kingdom, and then vanished.
Jim Gordon: What happened to him?
Ra's al-Ghul: If the legend is to be believed, he walked away from his throne, vowing that one day he would return and complete his destiny. But that would require a particular knife.
Jim Gordon: This knife.
Ra's al-Ghul: A story, as I said. But to my people, very meaningful. I hope that satisfies your curiosity.
Jim Gordon: Some. But you see, Minister, my chief concern is that there's a boy, the grandson of the curator. He's being hunted. Now, perhaps that's because of the knife. Or, perhaps, the killer thinks he saw something.
Ra's al-Ghul: Did he?
Jim Gordon: No.
Ra's al-Ghul: Well, then, he's safe.
Jim Gordon: Yes, but, you see, I would have to know that for certain before I would do anything that might effect the case... such as release the knife.
Ra's al-Ghul: [cold] May I see the knife, Detective? It would so put my mind at ease.

Jim Gordon: Harper, if Mr. Pennyworth tries to leave, arrest him.
Alfred Pennyworth: On what charge?
Jim Gordon: She'll think of something.

The Blade's Path [4.05][edit]

Edward Nygma: You people have pills for everything! Insomnia. Anxiety. You have to have something for me!
Pharmacist: I don't know. A pill to reverse the effects of having your brain frozen and unfrozen? That's kind of specific.

Sofia Falcone: Is it so hard to believe that someone would want to do something nice for you?
Oswald Cobblepot: There was only one person who did things for me without wanting something in return, and that was my mother.
Sofia Falcone: Then I envy you. My father never did anything for anyone unless it benefitted him. Eventually, it drove away everyone who loved him.
Oswald Cobblepot: [visibly upset] Go. I'll decide what to do with you later.
Sofia Falcone: Oswald, I only want to help you.
Oswald Cobblepot: Oh, you wanna help? Try leaving!
[He sits and massages his leg]
Sofia Falcone: Your foot...
Oswald Cobblepot: It's just the weather.
[She kneels beside him and reaches for his foot]
Oswald Cobblepot: What are you doing? Don't!
Sofia Falcone: It's okay. I won't judge.
[She tenderly massages his foot]
Sofia Falcone: When I was a child I broke my ankle while playing with my cousins. I was desperate, crying in pain. My father told me to put ice on it, toughen up, stop with the tears. My mother went with me to the hospital, and on the way she told me that cold actually increases the pain. What's needed is warmth.

Ra's al-Ghul: Every moment of my life is agony. End my suffering.
Bruce Wayne: Whatever your curse is, you deserve it for what you've done!
Ra's al-Ghul: You're angry, Bruce. I understand. But unless you strike me down with that blade, you will never be free.
Bruce Wayne: No! I won't!
Ra's al-Ghul: Then allow me to tell you what will happen if you don't kill me. I will disappear, and let you live your life. You will follow the path of light, grow into a fine man. Become a husband. A father. There may be a day where you forget I ever existed. But then I will return, and I will kill everyone you love. Just as you watched your parents die, just as you watched me slice your friend's throat, I will slaughter your wife and children before your very eyes, and there will be nothing you can do about it!
[Bruce stabs him with the dagger]
Bruce Wayne: Die!

Bruce Wayne: Are you going to arrest me?
Jim Gordon: For what?
Bruce Wayne: ...For murder.
Jim Gordon: I don't know what I just saw in there... but as far as I'm concerned, Ra's al Ghul's men broke into Blackgate and he escaped.
Bruce Wayne:... I betrayed myself, and my parents' memory. I took a life. I did exactly what Ra's said I would.
Jim Gordon: Just because you know you're capable of doing something, doesn't mean it has to happen again. Bruce, you and I have known each other a long time... since the night your parents were murdered. Now, you may not feel like you're that kid anymore, but I know that you are. One who believes in doing good, in fighting for what's right... who will do anything, to keep the people he loves safe. [claps Bruce on the shoulder] Nothing that happened today, changes that.

Hog Day Afternoon [4.06][edit]

Edward Nygma: Doctor Leslie Thompkins. Wow.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: I heard a rumor you were frozen. I should have known it was too good to be true.
Edward Nygma: You're not still mad at me, are you?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Mad at you for what? Killing Kristin Kringle? Or framing Jim for murder so he'd be in prison when I lost our child? [deadpan] I'm over all that. Let's be friends.
Edward Nygma: I'm sensing sarcasm.
Leslie Thompkins: Just as sharp as ever.
Edward Nygma: Actually, funny that you mention that-
Leslie Thompkins: Goodbye, Ed.
Edward Nygma: Wait. [he grabs her wrist]

[Leslie cocks back her fist to slug him, but Butch intercepts it; she turns around and stares at him]

Leslie Thompkins: Holy Hell! Butch Gilzean? [to Ed] What've you done to him?
Edward Nygma: Nothing, believe it or not. And he goes by Grundy, now. Hey, why don't you hang out over there, Big Fella? Make sure that wall doesn't wander off. [Butch grunts and leaves] I have no idea what happened to him. But he's freakishly strong, can't remember anything about his past life, and seems to love me, so... big improvement. But I, on the other hand, I, uh- I'm really hoping to get back to who I was. When I was on ice, my head got a little... scrambled.
Leslie Thompkins: Why should I care?
Ed Nygma: Ok, I came here with Grundy. We're gonna fight, make some money, to get me smart again. But... you, Dr. Leslie Thompkins...you can fix me.
Leslie Thompkins: You want me to fix you? [pats his cheek] Aww, you really are dumb.
Edward Nygma: Ok, Ok- you're here for some reason. I don't pretend to know what that is. But, if you help me... I will help you.
Leslie Thompkins: I know you're not really smart right now, so just try to understand this: I will never help you.

Oswald Cobblepot: Victor, we will be having a chat with Miss Falcone.
Victor Zsasz: Just so we're clear, is this a "chat" chat, or a "shovel in the trunk" kind of chat?
Oswald Cobblepot: Get the shovel.

Edward Nygma: I know about your clinic. I'm guessing that Cherry lets you have that as long as you work these fights. That's your deal, right?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: So?
Edward Nygma: So, I'm guessing that that means something to you, which makes you vulnerable to... [suddenly confused] to, um...
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Blackmail? Threats?
Edward Nygma: Yes! Yes! Both of those!
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: All right, let's hear it. What's your brilliant scheme?
Edward Nygma: What?
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: You said you were going to force me to help you. So, what is your threat? Hit me.
Edward Nygma: If you don't help me, I am going to... do... something to that clinic!
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: [bursts out laughing] Oh my God, you really aren't smart!

Oswald Cobblepot: Your father's blood really does flow through your veins. Luckily, not for long.

Jim Gordon: Hey.
Harvey Bullock: Hey.
Jim Gordon: You gave me quite the scare, back there. How you feeling?
Harvey Bullock: ...I've had better days.
Jim Gordon: The doc says you're gonna be OK.
Harvey Bullock: Well, that shows what he knows. Pyg? [Gordon shakes his head] Son of a bitch. He could've killed me, but he cut me just deep enough to make you choose: go after him, or save my worthless hide.
Jim Gordon: It wasn't a choice.
Harvey Bullock: Either way, I owe you.
Jim Gordon: So pay it back, now. Tell me the truth: how long you been taking money from Penguin? [Harvey looks away] You knew Metzke was the bag-man; you knew Nakajima was dirty. Then Pyg... says all this stuff, about you deserving to be killed. [coldly] I don't know why I didn't see it before; maybe I didn't want to. I just need to know, how long. We talkin' years?
Harvey Bullock: [tearfully] No. Just since this license crap started. The commissioner ordered us to comply. Then, Metzke started showing up with these envelopes, stuffed with cash. I didn't do nothing I wouldn'ta done anyway. [Gordon nods, looks away] You gotta understand, Jim, the bills I got...the debts I got-
Jim Gordon: It stops. It stops, right now. [leaves]

A Day in the Narrows [4.07][edit]

Barbara Kean: So that's it. We're shutting up shop. So long, farewell, toodle-ooo.
Selina Kyle: I can't believe this!
Tabitha Galavan: [sour] I can.
Barbara Kean: All this was so I could be Ra's' eyes and ears in Gotham. He was bankrolling us, but now he's gone, so I'm pulling the plug. Help yourself to whatever.
Tabitha Galavan: So, all of this - being partners, building something together - all lies.
Barbara Kean: A sales pitch. I couldn't do it alone.
Selina Kyle: We can still spy on the jerks who come in here and get intel on jobs. We can make it work.
Barbara Kean: What, and the three of us stay together like a plucky little family? Well, how about a little parting lesson from Big Sis: In this life, you're on your own. Always.

Oswald Cobblepot: So, the insane serial killer who hates cops warned you to save your life... because, why, now?
Jim Gordon: Because I'm against dirty cops!
Oswald Cobblepot: Oh, except all the times you are one.

Harvey Bullock: Congratulations, Jim. You're a hero. And I'm just the cop who shot a cop.

Jim Gordon: I'm gonna find you.
Professor Pyg: Oh, I hope you do. Because I want to thank you in the flesh, flesh, flesh. What you said about the rot in Gotham, high to low - so concisely phrased - well, it gave me an idea. The next step in my plot. It's a saga. It's an epic. It's a spectacle. And you're my muse, Jimmy Gordon. I'll see you soon.

Stop Hitting Yourself [4.08][edit]

Tabitha Galavan: Butch! It's Butch! You know what this means?
Barbara Kean: Yeah. You owe me an apology for electrocuting me.

Bridgit Pike: Boss gave you a deadline. You missed it.
Barbara Kean: So what? We got Ed. We are literally champions here.
Bridgit Pike: [pointing her flamethrower] What you are is four courses of barbecue. Crispy skin.

Jim Gordon: Those cops were waiting for you.
Harvey Bullock: Yeah, to spit in my face.
Jim Gordon: If that's what they wanted to do. You owed it to them to be there, to stand in front of them, look each one in the eye. If you'd have done that, maybe you could have gotten their respect.
Harvey Bullock: I don't deserve their respect. Jim, I shot Officer Patel. What the hell was I supposed to do? Stand in front of her and hand her the bullet that I shot her with, that came from my gun?
Jim Gordon: That's the job. Take responsibility for what happens to your cops. That's the job.
Harvey Bullock: So now you're telling me what the job is?
Jim Gordon: [sadly] Yeah.
Harvey Bullock: Well, today, Jim... I just couldn't do the job. So I sent you, because I knew, you could.
Jim Gordon: It's not good enough. Not today. They needed you there.
Harvey Bullock: Well... ain't nothing I can do about it, now. [drinks]
Jim Gordon: [stands up, takes the form out of his pocket] You got a pen?
Harvey Bullock: For what?

[Jim takes his pen and signs the form, then hands it to Harvey]

Jim Gordon: Harvey Bullock, you are relieved of duty. As of this moment, I'm assuming the Captaincy of Gotham Central.
Harvey Bullock: [glares at him] ...Well, well. Look who got what he always wanted. But what I'm wondering is... what'd you have to do, to get it?
Jim Gordon: All I did was my job, same as you-
Harvey Bullock: [stands up, throws the form down on the desk and walks out] Nothing in Gotham is free... Captain Gordon. [pauses at the door] You just better hope you can pay up, when your bill's due... and it'll come due.

[Lee has just been made the leader of the Narrows; its inhabitants look to her expectantly]
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: What do I do now?
Edward Nygma: I don't know. Make them happy. Give them something to cheer for.
[pause]
Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Drinks on the house!
[they cheer]
Edward Nygma: Good move.

Let Them Eat Pie [4.09][edit]

Harvey Bullock: [to Gordon] You still don't understand Gotham. You want to be the hero. Gotham doesn't need heroes. It needs someone who will do whatever it takes.

Alfred Pennyworth: You killed Ra's al-Ghul. Vengeance for your parents' death has been your driving force for so long, you are completely lost without it.
Bruce Wayne: [ignoring him, dialing his phone] I need to call Tommy...
Alfred Pennyworth: [snatching his phone away] Have you forgotten what day it is today?
Bruce Wayne: Give me my phone!
Alfred Pennyworth: You have, haven't you?
Bruce Wayne: [angry] Today is the day my father took me camping. We put two rocks on top of Mount Bristol. We did it every year. Now give me my phone.
[Alfred puts down two rocks, one marked "TW" and the other "BW"]
Alfred Pennyworth: You are Bruce Wayne, son of Thomas Wayne, and the sooner you start remembering that, the better!

Bruce Wayne: You don't know what I'm going through. You and I are nothing alike.
Alfred Pennyworth: Then talk to me. Let me know how I can help you.
Bruce Wayne: You can't! Like you said, I did what I did. I killed Ra's. I avenged my parents' death, and, guess what? Nothing changed. It made no difference. So what did I do it for? How can you help that?
Alfred Pennyworth: I can help with the way that you're feeling. But you need to talk to me. You have to face up to who you really are.
Bruce Wayne: Stop telling me who I am. I know who I am. And if you really want to help me, you can stop trying to be my father - you can be my butler. Clean this place up.

Things That Go Boom [4.10][edit]

Dr. Leslie Thompkins: Tell you what, I'll be back in a few days to negotiate with whoever takes your place after you drown in your own blood.

The Dentist: You're Don Falcone's daughter. He killed my brother. [revs dentist's drill] I'm going to enjoy this.
Sofia Falcone: It's true, he killed your brother - but not your wife, Elaine, or your son, Joseph. No, they're still alive, and probably having lunch in your two-bedroom on Seventh Ave. Right now. [he stops the drill] See, I made it a point to learn about every detail of Penguin's organization. For instance, I learned that he only trusts one man for this type of job - you. And in the event that I am ever tortured, my people have instructions to kill your family.
The Dentist: Interesting threat, but no one's going to know you were tortured because no one is going to find your body.
Sofia Falcone: [laughs] Oh, because you don't think I have spies in Penguin's organization. He's right about me, though; I have been conspiring against him for months, turning his captains against him one by one, and today is the day that I will finally take him down. So, if my people don't hear from me soon, your family's dead. But if you don't believe me, drill away.
The Dentist: [to Penguin's thug] Excuse me. Her restraints need tightening.
[Penguin's thug goes to tighten her restraints, and the Dentist jams the drill into his neck, killing him]
Sofia Falcone: A wise decision. Now untie me.

Sofia Falcone: We're the same, Jim. I saw it the moment we met. We both want power. You want to deny it, so it's easier to send me away.
[Gordon handcuffs her]
Jim Gordon: Detective Harper, please take Miss Falcone to the train station and escort her back home.
Sofia Falcone: Please don't do this...
Jim Gordon: Better get going. You'll miss your train.

Oswald Cobblepot: [to Sofia] YOU WANTED A WAR? YOU'VE GOT ONE!

Queen Takes Knight [4.11][edit]

Barbara Kean: So. Penguin's out building support amongst the gangs. Pretty soon every criminal in Gotham is going to go after us.
Sofia Falcone: He's building support because we made him look weak. We kill him, and all the gangs will support me. I'm still a Falcone.
Barbara Kean: Yeah, you mentioned that about a billion times.

Jim Gordon: From the first day I put on the badge, I was told things could never change. Gotham was corrupt. GCPD was corrupt. Criminals and low-lives ran things. You just showed me different. Penguin will be coming. It's time we showed Gotham who we are. Suit up!

Sofia Falcone: How many cops died under the Pax Penguina? Not one. It was you who couldn't stomach it. It was you who came to the Falcones for help. There is a direct line from your decision to a dozen police officers who have been brutally murdered.
Jim Gordon: You're insane. Why not just kill me?
Sofia Falcone: Because, Jim, I need you at the head of the GCPD. I need...
Jim Gordon: Someone you can control. You've been planning this since the day we met. This isn't about Gotham. This is revenge for me killing Mario.
Sofia Falcone: You wanna arrest me? Arrest me. But I'll talk. The cops that died, the friend that you betrayed, will all have been for nothing. The GCPD will crumble. Penguin or someone worse will take over, and you will lose Gotham forever. Or, take on this city as your own. Keep the GCPD, let them think you're a hero. But live knowing who you are, knowing what you've done - that is my revenge.

Pieces of a Broken Mirror [4.12][edit]

Ivy Pepper: I know you... all of you. And I'm pretty sure I hate you.

Barbara Kean: You know, I am so proud that I have a great relationship with all my exes.
Jim Gordon: Leave me off that list.

Leslie Thompkins: Are you here to arrest someone? Me?
Jim Gordon: I'm here because someone wants you dead. The assassin's still on the loose, as is the person who hired him. You're not safe.
Leslie Thompkins: It's Gotham. Is anyone ever safe?

Harvey Bullock: I love bartending. It involves two of my favorite things: drinking and ignoring people.

A Beautiful Darkness [4.13][edit]

Jim Gordon: It's like that tweaker we found last week.
Lucius Fox: [nods] The toxin entered the bloodstream through the cuts on the neck. If it is the same as the last victim, the toxin creates vines that feed off the victim's body, while also attacking the hippocampus like some...plant-based psychedelics.
Jim Gordon: So, it kills you and makes you hallucinate. Any witnesses?
Lucius Fox: The family's saying it was two women, redhead and a brunette. The redhead used some kind of hypnosis on them, and the brunette wore a leather whip.
Jim Gordon: [frowns] Selina Kyle? Murder's not really her thing.
Lucius Fox: The family says the redhead killed Rolland; she left with his briefcase.
Jim Gordon: Well, if his briefcase is missing, maybe this is related to his work at Wayne BioTech?
Lucius Fox: Doubtful. He oversaw standard projects; pharmaceuticals, pesticides...
Jim Gordon: ...What?
Lucius Fox:[shakes his head] Nothing.
Jim Gordon: I'll track down Selina.

[He leaves, Lucius makes a call]

Bruce Wayne: [answering machine] This is Bruce, leave a message.
Lucius Fox: Bruce, I know we haven't talked in a while, but someone just killed Rolland Charles. We may have a problem.

Jerome Valeska: I'm gonna cure you of this attitude, Oswald. I'm gonna find the entertaining guy I know is inside of you, and when I do... oooh, we are gonna have so much fun together!

Oswald Cobblepot: Ed. You must be here to gloat.
Edward Nygma: Correct.
Oswald Cobblepot: And why not? I am in an insane asylum, being pummeled by lunatics... but at least I'm not a moron.
Edward Nygma: I may not be the man I once was, but I have many things you don't have. A purpose. Friends. You have neither of those, and I wanted you to see that.
Oswald Cobblepot: No. I know you. There's something else going on. Something else brought you here.
Edward Nygma: There's nothing else. I wanted you to see how well I am doing, and I wanted to see how miserable you are. Mission accomplished.
Oswald Cobblepot: Ed, I'm going to be out of here soon. And when I am, I am gonna wipe that smile off your face... preferably with a chainsaw.

Bruce Wayne: What do you want? Why did you bring me here?! This is where my parents were killed!
Batman: No. This is where I was born.

Bruce Wayne: Who are you?
Batman: I am the one you cannot escape. The one you cannot kill.
Bruce Wayne: You're me... Please...
Batman: You're scared. You should be.

Reunion [4.14][edit]

Ivy Pepper: Plants love us. They give us food, shelter, the very air we breathe. And what do we do in return? We kill them, because that's our nature. We cause pain. Everyone I've known has only hurt or betrayed me. Maybe I've always known in my heart what I needed to do, but I finally have the power to do so. I'm giving your city back to the plants, starting with the people who hurt me. So, if that's you... your time is coming.

Jim Gordon: We should go to the precinct.
Harvey Bullock: Hey, I'm not hiding like some freaking coward, alright? Four people are dead, because she wanted me!
Jim Gordon: Okay, then we'll work on it together. You can wear the badge.
Harvey Bullock: Get this straight, Jim! I ain't working for you now, or ever. I've got more contacts in the Narrows than any of you. I'm gonna find her alone... once I find my pants.

The Riddler: [whistles] You don't look good. Think you might be exceeding your recommended dosage. You experiencing... "Trembling Extremities?" Check. "Cognitive Imparement?" Definite check. Though, to be fair, how would you know? [laughs]
Edward Nygma: SHUT UP!!
The Riddler: Take all the pills you want, Ed. I'm only getting stronger. Soon, I'm gonna be out... and the FUN begins!
Edward Nygma: No! I won't let you. 'Cause I know what you'll do.
The Riddler: Oh, you mean, kill Lee? Yeah, I guess I will do that. And you can't stop me-
Edward Nygma: There are things that I can do!
The Riddler: Like what? You need to face it, pal. The only way to get rid of me, is to kill yourself.
Edward Nygma: ...I guess you are smarter than me.
The Riddler: ...You wouldn't-
Edward Nygma: I would. Oh, yeah.

[Bruce is giving a speech knowing that Alfred is in the audience]
Bruce Wayne: My parents spent their lives helping people. I was so proud of them, and I always wanted them to be proud of me. Then I saw them get murdered. I survived because someone in my life kept me going. He's been everything to me: a teacher, a protecter... he's been a father to me. I hope... I hope he can see that, and give me another chance. Thank you.
[He leaves the stage to meet Alfred]
Alfred Pennyworth: Thank you. That meant a great deal. But I can't help you, not until you accept who you really are.
Bruce Wayne: I know who I am. I've seen what's inside me.
Alfred Pennyworth: Darkness and anger. But beneath that is a heart that feels pain. Your heart, it's what makes you want to help other people. Your heart is your strength. Deny the darkness, and you deny that. But accepting that is something you must do on your own. You understand me?

Ivy Pepper: One scratch is all it takes, Selina; and there's no antidote this time. And there's no more jumping across rooftops for little, dead Selina.
Selina Kyle: [sarcastically] I'll keep that in mind.

[She dodges Ivy's attack, flipping across the room and behind a table]

Ivy Pepper: You're gonna have to fight me, Selina. You can't run forever.
Selina Kyle: I wasn't running. I was getting this. [she holds up the vial of Lazarus Water] This is what you're gonna use, to make all your little plants? So, I guess it's safe to say that I shouldn't drop it-
Ivy Pepper: Stop, Selina. I will let you leave.
Selina Kyle: [scoffs] "Let me?" You're not gonna turn me into some geranium-type thing? That's so generous.

[she drops the vial on the floor and raises her boot over it]

Ivy Pepper: NO!! [pause] ... How can you side with them? All the people who hurt us. You think they're innocent... they're guilty. [she starts advancing on Selina] Every person in this city... they spew out poison! How are you not choking on it?
Selina Kyle: The only thing that I'm choking on, Ivy, is your insanity.

[she stomps on the vial, shattering it. After a pause, Ivy shrieks with rage, lunges forward and pins Selina against the table, grabbing her throat with her toxic nails]

Ivy Pepper: You shouldn't have done that. Now, you're gonna die-
Selina Kyle: Ivy, look down.

[Ivy glances down and sees Selina's switchblade pressing into her stomach]

Ivy Pepper: ...Well.
Selina Kyle: Yeah.
Ivy Pepper: So what happens now? We kill each other?
Selina Kyle: That's an option.
Ivy Pepper: You always did think you were better than me-
Selina Kyle: That's not true. I was your friend. We were friends, Ivy, you said so yourself.
Ivy Pepper:... That was a long time ago. I'm a different person now.
Selina Kyle: ...This isn't what I want.

[she drops her switchblade. Ivy briefly tightens her grip on Selina's neck, then pauses]

Ivy Pepper: ... Don't get in my way again.

[she releases Selina and leaves]

The Sinking Ship The Grand Applause [4.15][edit]

Harvey Bullock: You two! Don't come any closer!
Victor Zsasz: Bullock? Dude, I thought you stopped being a cop! Guess it didn't take, huh?
Harvey Bullock: Not so much.
Victor Zsasz: You remember Wendell, don't you?
Wendell: [grins] Howdy.
Harvey Bullock: I don't know why you two are here, and I don't care! Walk away!

[Victor and Headhunter both draw their guns]

Victor Zsasz: See, I'm afraid we can't do that.
Wendell: We're not leaving here without the Penguin.
Victor Zsasz: Harvey, do yourself a favor: Give us Penguin, and... live to get drunk another day. Hmm?
Harvey Bullock: As tempting as that sounds, no.

Bruce Wayne: What?
Selina Kyle: You're just... different.
Bruce Wayne: Different how?
Selina Kyle: Well, you were a complete douchebag to me at the club, and now you're... not.
Bruce Wayne: Listen, Selina, about that night...
Selina Kyle: Oh, no, you're not gonna try to apologize to me, are you?
Bruce Wayne: No, I just wanted to say...
Selina Kyle: Save it. [smiles, pats his cheek] Because you're probably gonna be a douchebag to me later anyway.
Bruce Wayne: [smiles] Missed you, too.

[Floyd enters]

Floyd: Kitty Cat. Back so soon?
Selina Kyle: S'up, Floyd. [Floyd sets a statuette on the counter] I'm gonna need that stuff I brought to you the other day.
Floyd: Oh, you mean this stuff? The stuff you tried to break in and steal last night? You think I wouldn't check the camera?
Bruce Wayne: Great.
Selina Kyle: You remember what I said about being a douchebag? [to Floyd] I'll pay double what you gave me.
Floyd: This your bank? [nods to his thugs] How 'bout I take the money... and, I keep your stuff.

[As one of the thugs draws a machete, Bruce tosses the statuette to Selina. As she and Bruce fight the thugs, Floyd pulls out and loads an antique revolver. Just as he points it at Bruce, Selina catches his wrist with her whip, redirecting his shots into the ceiling.]

Bruce Wayne: [grabs Floyd by his lapels and hoists him off the ground] Next time... take the deal. [knocks him out]
Selina Kyle: [retrieves her items] Got it. [she leaves, Bruce follows after tossing a wad of bills at Floyd]

Harvey Bullock: How did Nygma get in touch with Penguin, anyway?
Jim Gordon: I don't know.
Harvey Bullock: Nothing's ever easy with you, is it? It's always, like "Find Lee, and then she'll point us to Ed, and then we'll find Penguin, and he'll tell us where to find Penn..."

[Jim sees Penguin limping up the street ahead of them; he spots them at the same time]

Jim Gordon: [draws his gun] Or, we could just talk to Oswald right now.
Harvey Bullock: [draws his gun] Huh?

[Penguin grabs a homeless person's bottle, shatters the base, and brandishes it at Jim and Harvey as they approach with guns raised]

Homeless Person: Hey! You son of a-
Oswald Cobblepot: What are you doing here?!
Harvey Bullock: We're looking for an Arkham escapee, about yea tall, walks with a limp? Mommy complex?
Oswald Cobblepot: Those trumped- up charges you used to put me away have LOST their teeth! Martine is still alive!
Jim Gordon: So produce him.
Oswald Cobblepot: Nope! He is not safe, until Sofia Falcone has been dealt with. Permanently!
Jim Gordon: ...I think you and I want the same thing, Oswald. We both want Sofia to go away.
Oswald Cobblepot: Then turn around, and walk away. Let me do what I do!
Jim Gordon: No. I want her in jail, and for that, I need evidence. I want your bookkeeper, Mr. Penn.
Oswald Cobblepot: What would he know about... [realizes]... that little weasel was...
Harvey Bullock: Yeah! He was working for her, for Don Falcone, for everybody! You might wanna check your management style, pal!
Oswald Cobblepot: ...I'll kill him.
Jim Gordon: Oswald? Oswald! Calm down. You show us where we can find Mr. Penn... and I'll let you walk away.
Oswald Cobblepot: ...I don't believe you.
Harvey Bullock: Sofia sent Zsasz to Arkham to kill you. Her goons run the Narrows. How long do you think it's gonna take before she finds you?

[After a long pause, Penguin reluctantly drops the bottle]

Oswald Cobblepot: ...I overheard Mr. Penn talk about a place just outside of town, near the Tricorner. The spa at Barsuka offers... special therapy. If he's hiding, he's probably there. [limps past them]
Jim Gordon: Oswald... thank you. [offers his hand, Penguin takes it]
Harvey Bullock: That's really nice. [puts Penguin in a restraining hold and cuffs him] That's really nice; now, put your hands behind your back!
Oswald Cobblepot: NO! NO, WE HAD A DEAL!!
Jim Gordon: Harvey, what are you doing?
Harvey Bullock: [angrily] If you wanna look the other way, Jim, fine! I didn't agree to squat! Come on.

Bruce Wayne: So now, are you gonna return it? Selina, you said-
Selina Kyle: Can you do it?
Bruce Wayne: That's really why you came to me. It wasn't about the money. [pause] You did not kill Rolland Charles.
Selina Kyle:... I was there, though. And what- what am I supposed to say? "I, I stole your jewelry, sorry."
Bruce Wayne: Sometimes, that's enough.

Harvey Bullock: Hey.
Jim Gordon:... Hey.
Harvey Bullock: Surprised you're alive?
Jim Gordon: Yeah... how?
Harvey Bullock: How do you think? Lee. She kept you alive 'til the medics got there. Even one-handed, she's a damn good doctor.
Jim Gordon: Sofia?
Harvey Bullock: In a coma. Amazing she's not dead.
Jim Gordon:... Harvey, when I get outta here, I'm gonna confess. My connection to Sofia, my role with the Pyg, all of it. I gotta come clean.
Harvey Bullock: No.
Jim Gordon: What do you mean?
Harvey Bullock: Who would benefit from that? You. You get to be the martyr, feel better about yourself. The GCPD loses its hero. No. You wanna pay your debt? You live with it. Just like I do.
Jim Gordon: ...So, Sofia wins, after all.
Harvey Bullock: It's what the city needs.

One of My Three Soups [4.16][edit]

Jerome Valeska: When I say three hairs past a freckle, gentlemen, I do not mean five hairs past. Let's do better next time, hmm?
Jervis Tetch: Mind both P's and Q's, Valeska. We're not your militia, to be becked and called.
Jonathan Crane: I dread to think of where you'd be without us.

[He and Jerome approach each other aggressively]

Jervis Tetch: Boys! Boys, um, let's not squabble too early in our partnership. There'll be plenty of time to stab each other in the backs later, but for now, stick to Jerome's plan and everyone will get what they want.
Jonathan Crane: An earthly kingdom of terror.
Jervis Tetch: A piece of Gotham Pie, both sky and high!
Jerome Valeska: That's the spirit, boys! Think big... and kinky. [glances at Tortuga] And lose the weirdo; she's giving me the heebie-jeebies.
Jervis Tetch: Your work is done, my dear. Your race all run.
Tortuga: Glad to be of help. [she hands Jerome her keys and slits her own throat]
Jerome Valeska: Much better. Now, to free the rest of our cronies and blow this popstand.

Ra's al-Ghul: [flashback] What a vital, poisonous little mind you have. Everybody hates you for it, don't they?
Barbara Kean: Yes. Everybody hates me. I don't know why.
Ra's al-Ghul: I understand that feeling very well, Barbara. You are just the one I've been looking for. I have a present for you. But it's a secret. You shall become the Demon's Head. The League of Shadows shall be yours to command. An army of assassins. The world is weak, Barbara, and you are strong. Use the League to make the world more like you.

Jervis Tetch: Almost magic hour, Gothamites. Time to climb to the tippy-top of every tower, and the clock strikes twelve, throw yourselves pell mell onto your heads!

Selina Kyle: Hands off, big boy. [she aims the gun at the strongman, who releases Bruce; Bruce knocks him out] Still don't need my help, Bruce?
Bruce Wayne: Selina.
Jerome Valeska: "Selina", huh? Well, isn't that a nice name.

[Selina cocks the gun and aims it at him]

Bruce Wayne: Selina, don't!
Jerome Valeska: No, no, no, no. [grins] She's not that kinda girl.
Selina Kyle: [smiles coldly] Wrong answer, freak.
Jerome Valeska: Ah, that's funny, 'cause-

[he dives behind a booth, cackling, as Selina fires. Bruce tackles her to the floor and wrestles the gun from her hand]

Jerome Valeska: [peeks out of the booth] Oops, alright! See you crazy kids later! Ciao! [he flees]
Selina Kyle: [angrily] ...You should've let me shoot him. [they both stand] It would've been over by now!
Bruce Wayne: Selina, I told you, I'm responsible for him. I can't just let him be shot, Selina, I can't.
Selina Kyle: I'm not taking responsibility for this mess! So let's get outta here before the cops show up, yeah? [pause] Come on!
Bruce Wayne: ...It's not over yet.
Selina Kyle: [sighs, shakes her head]... Suit yourself. Just, don't take... so much responsibility, that you get yourself killed.

Barbara Kean: You're weak. You're all so damn weak. That's it. That is why Ra's chose me. Because he knew I would see how pitiful you all are. Afraid of change. Afraid to take orders from a woman. Well, listen up: I am the Demon's Head, so you sons-of-bitches better start bowing down right now, or it is gonna get ugly up in here!

Mandatory Brunch Meeting [4.17][edit]

Jerome Valeska: Yeah, hi, I'm here to see Xander Wilde. [pulls out a shotgun] And no, I don't have an appointment.
[The secretary runs away, terrified]
Jerome Valeska: Don't bother calling security. They're all... [the secretary screams] ...headless.

Jerome Valeska: I've been waiting for this moment for 15 years, ever since you ran away in the middle of the night like a coward.
Jeremiah Valeska: You're insane.
Jerome Valeska: Yeah.
Jeremiah Valeska: And I tried telling mom, but she didn't want to listen to me. You blame me for everything that's gone wrong in your life. But the truth is, Jerome, you were born bad.
Jerome Valeska: "Born bad", huh? So that's why you made her think I tried to kill you.
Jeremiah Valeska: Look, we both...
Jerome Valeska: What was it, again? I put a blade to your throat. No, no, no. I tried to light you on fire.
Jeremiah Valeska: We both know you wanted to.
Jerome Valeska: Yeah, that was a funny story, wasn't it?
Jeremiah Valeska: Okay, maybe it didn't happen exactly that way. But I didn't have a choice, and I was right. You killed our mother.
Jerome Valeska: She did deserve it, though. After that whore hid you away, she gave up on me, poisoned by your stories. You turned everyone I ever loved against me! My own flesh and blood! I guess it's like what they say: We all can go insane with just one bad day. [puts a gun to Jeremiah's head] I guess with you it's just one bad spray. [Laughs] You'll see.

Jervis Tetch: Listen to what I have to say...
Harvey Bullock: Oh, hell no! You are not hypnotizing me again!
[Bullock chases after Tetch and Crane, brandishing a gun and screaming]
Jim Gordon: That's one way to do it...

Jim Gordon: Jerome told his brother his plan was to turn Gotham mad. How the hell's he gonna do that, Harvey?
Harvey Bullock: I dunno. I thought it already was.

That's Entertainment [4.18][edit]

Harvey Bullock: Hey Jim, what gives?
Jim Gordon: The mayor and the police commissioner have been kidnapped by Jerome. We've got every cop in the city searching all the places Jerome's been seen the last week. Got something for me?
Harvey Bullock: Well, I was gonna say I just won 100 bucks in the scratch-off lottery at the liquor store and we can go the track with it, but we can do your thing first.

Jeremiah Valeska: I watch the news. I know why you're here, Mr. Gordon, and you must be out of your mind if you think I'm gonna be led like a lamb to slaughter.
Jim Gordon: I understand your concern, but your brother doesn't bluff. If we ignore his demands, there's no telling what he might do.
Lucius Fox: We can block his remote's signal with this.
Jim Gordon: Thanks. If you and Bruce can get within a few feet of him, it will disable his remote; he'll be a sitting duck. Our snipers can take it from there-
Jeremiah Valeska: For God's sakes, Gordon, you have to know what he wants! To... murder us both on live television!
Bruce Wayne: Mr. Valeska, I'm Bruce Wayne. [offers his hand] It's a pleasure to meet you.
Jeremiah Valeska: [shakes his hand]... Likewise. I... wish the circumstances were better.
Bruce Wayne: May I ask what you're working on?
Jeremiah Valeska: Um, yeah. It's a compact electrical engine; it generates power.
Bruce Wayne: Fascinating. How much power?
Jeremiah Valeska: Just two could light up every building south of Westward Bridge.
Bruce Wayne: ...You have a brilliant mind. And we all hope we can soon be rid of your brother, so that you can carry on your work free from fear. I understand if you choose not to help us today, but I trust that Captain Gordon and Mr. Fox will see that no harm comes to me. But, even if it does...maybe, by facing Jerome...I can show the people of Gotham that standing up to terror is the only way to take its' power away.

Barbara Kean: I have finally found my true purpose. I'm not going to let your jealousy distract me. [to her henchwomen] Ladies, escort Miss Galavan to the street.
Tabitha Galavan: I'll show myself out.
Barbara Kean: Actually, I think it's time my loyal servants taught you some manners.
Tabitha Galavan: Why don't you do it?
Barbara Kean: Because I am the one true heir to an immortal god's ancient dynasty, and I don't dirty my fingers with the likes of you anymore.

[Jerome is hanging off a ledge]
Jerome Valeska: Quite the dilemma, Jim. Are you gonna let me fall and die, or pull me up and arrest me? What's it gonna be? Lawman or murderer?
[after hesitating, Gordon tries to pull Jerome up, but Jerome pulls his hand away]
Jerome Valeska: [laughing] Good old Gordon, always playing by the rules. That's why I'll outlive you. That's why I'm loved: because I don't give a damn about the rules.
Jim Gordon: It's a long way down. You sure you'll outlive me?
Jerome Valeska: Oh, I'm sure. Because I'm more than a man - I'm an idea, a philosophy. And I will live on in the shadows within Gotham's discontent. You'll be seeing me soon. Au revoir!

[He lets go and falls to his death, laughing]


[Returning to his bunker, Jeremiah finds a package labeled "From Wayne Enterprises". He opens it to reveal a jack-in-the box, which sprays his face with some of Jerome's specialized gas]

Jerome Valeska: [recorded, cackling] Hello, Brother. Didn't think you could get rid of me so easily, did you? See, my days were numbered, but you... Oh, you can continue on for me, be my ultimate revenge! [Jeremiah begins to stagger around the room, coughing and knocking things over] So... calm yourself. Don't fight it. [Jeremiah clutches his head and screams] Breathe it in. This gas was a special mixture I had made, just for you. Something to finally set you free. It's time to have some fun!

[Jeremiah straightens, clutching his hair and laughing manically; his skin has been bleached white, his lips are blood-red and his eyes have turned green]

Jerome Valeska: [recording] Burn it down, Brother. Burn it all down!

To Our Deaths and Beyond [4.19][edit]

Sullim: Master, our lives are yours to take. But this woman does not serve the League. Her goals are limited, selfish.
Tabitha Galavan: That's Barbara, all right.
Sullim: Whatever faith you had in her was misplaced. If she keeps the Demon's Head, the League shall die.
Tabitha Galavan: Wait, what do you mean if she keeps the Demon's Head? I thought you were supposed to get it the second you... came back.
Ra's al-Ghul: No. Barbara must give it to me.
Tabitha Galavan: She'll never do that.
Ra's al-Ghul: Then I'll kill her and rip it from her corpse!

Oswald Cobblepot: What'd you make last night? Three, four million? Let's say we go halfsies.
Leslie Thompkins: I've heard your offer. Now, here's my counter: bite me.

Edward Nygma: You aren't stringing me along, are you Lee?
Leslie Thompkins: Don't you want to find out? The answer to the riddle?

Bruce Wayne: We can find from Barbara where the League hides. Temples, safehouses, he'll be in one of them. Meanwhile, we'll try to fix the knife-
Selina Kyle: Yeah, we'll just take it to the magic knife shop, no problem.
Bruce Wayne: Selina, be serious.
Selina Kyle: I am. If Ra's wanted you dead, you would be. He obviously likes you.
Bruce Wayne: It's not about me.
Selina Kyle: I know it's not about you! [pause] Gotham has managed a long time without you. It can manage a little longer, if you have one night off. [sighs]... You did good today.
Bruce Wayne: ... So did you. [he leans in to kiss her]
Ra's Al Ghul: Ahem. [Selina and Bruce spin around] Poor timing. Apologies. I only want to talk... alone, please.
Selina Kyle: I'm staying.
Ra's Al Ghul: Very well. She's right, you know, Bruce; I do like you. Respect you. Respect you for what you'll become.
Bruce Wayne:... You have no idea what I'll become.
Ra's Al Ghul: Of course I do. At least, who you could become.
Bruce Wayne: Why are you here?
Ra's Al Ghul: I felt I owed you an explanation, as to why I chose to live. When I took back the Demon's Head, I saw... a vision, of a cataclysmic event, soon to befall this city.
Bruce Wayne: What event?
Ra's Al Ghul: A cleansing fire that will destroy, purify, create... create you, Bruce. Because I will use it as a mighty forge, molding you into a Dark Knight of Gotham. [turns toward the fireplace] If it doesn't kill you, that is.

That Old Corpse [4.20][edit]

Oswald Cobblepot: How much longer are these petty aggressions going to continue?
Butch Gilzean: There is nothing petty about my aggression!

Jim Gordon: Here's how it's gonna go: You're gonna start talking, or I'm gonna stop caring if you can talk, you got it?

Jeremiah Valeska: Jerome is dead. Long live me.

Bruce Wayne: Jeremiah, the gas worked! Think about it: you want to carry out Jerome's crazy plans sanely? What could be madder than that?!
Jeremiah Valeska: "Madder?" Let's see. [consults Jerome's diary] Ah, here for example. Jerome wanted to "slather you in honey and have you eaten alive by corpse beetles." Now, that's mad. Me, if I want to kill you, I'll just do it. [aims his pistol at Bruce] I'll shoot you in the head, simply... and sanely.
Bruce Wayne: Jeremiah...
Jeremiah Valeska: But I don't want to kill you. [lowers his pistol, the Cult of Jerome boos]
Cultist of Jerome: Come on!
Jeremiah Valeska: Are you gonna listen, or are you gonna behave like children? See, I don't want to kill you, because I want to show you how much I've changed things. How much we've changed things. 'Cause I could not have done any of this without your help.

[Butch is interrogating Jongleur]
Butch Gilzean: You starin' at me? Yeah, I get it. Sometimes, I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It scares me, too. And then I get angry. The longer I'm like this, the angrier I get. Right now, the way I see it, you are preventing me from finding the cure, and that makes me very, very angry.
Oswald Cobblepot: Is your plan to gain his sympathy by reciting your tale of woe?
Butch Gilzean: Nah. Just wanted to get him to pee his pants a little in terror. You want me to shove some chicken bones up his nose 'til he squawks?
Oswald Cobblepot: Yes, that will do.

One Bad Day [4.21][edit]

Harvey Bullock: What the Hell?!
Jeremiah Valeska: You might not recognize Jerome's followers, as I've given them something of a makeover. But I assure you, they're as loyal to me as they ever were to him. More so, as I accomplished something my brother never could: killing James Gordon.
Cult of Jerome: Jeremiah! Jeremiah!

[Harvey and the GCPD aim their guns at Jeremiah]

Harvey Bullock: You're a LIAR!
Jeremiah Valeska: Not...so... fast. [pulls out a detonator] I have bombs planted around this city, just like the one that... killed James Gordon.
Cult of Jerome: Jeremiah! Jeremiah!
Jeremiah Valeska: All you need to know, is if I hit this detonator, Gotham's blown back to the Stone Age.
Harvey Bullock: And if I pull this trigger, your brains are blown through the back of your skull!
Jeremiah Valeska: Dead-man's switch. [walks toward Harvey] You're familiar. Another little something I took from my brother, except mine's a bit more advanced. You shoot me, my thumb loosens, and then...boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. No, you will do what I say.
Harvey Bullock: You're more sick than your brother.
Jeremiah Valeska: [chuckles] Don't compare me to that short-sighted psychopath. He just wanted to destroy things. Me, I'm a builder. I'm gonna create a new Gotham in my image. But... every artist needs a blank canvass, so... all of this has to go. I detonate the explosives in six hours; I want this city empty when I do.
Harvey Bullock: You need us to evacuate Gotham in six hours? That's impossible!
Jeremiah Valeska: Then everyone who dies screaming, who watches their loved ones crushed before them will have you to thank, Detective Bullock. Look, nobody has to die... well, except for these people. [he pulls out another detonator] I know seeing is believing, and I do want you to believe me, so...

[he presses the detonator, and Gotham's clock tower explodes]

Harvey Bullock: Oh, my God! [to his officers] Get officers on the scene, NOW! GO!!
Jeremiah Valeska: [removes his sunglasses] Six hours, Detective. [walks away] The clock is ticking!

Jeremiah Valeska: $50,000,000? That's what you want?
Oswald Cobblepot: ...It's a nice, round number.
Jeremiah Valeska: I don't quite have that on me, right now.
Oswald Cobblepot: You gave the mayor six hours to evacuate Gotham. An impossible task. Let him buy another hour. He will save thousands of lives... $50,000,000 will seem cheap.
Jeremiah Valeska: I see. I play the villain, you get away Scot-free and rich. [Penguin shrugs and nods] I get you the money, you give me back my cord relay.
Barbara Kean: That is usually how a handoff works, yeah.
Jeremiah Valeska:... You drive a hard bargain, but I'll see what I can do.
Barbara Kean: Just like that? After knowing your brother, I expected something more...
Jeremiah Valeska: Insane? Oh, I'm nothing if not sane. And reasonable. Two things my brother never valued; that's why I'll be successful where he failed. Well, that and being... vastly more intelligent. Now, to see about your money. [dials his phone] This is Jeremiah Valeska. I'd like to speak to the mayor, I have additional demands. Yes, really. $50,000,000, unmarked bills. I'll tell you the location...

[he walks away]

Tabitha Galavan: We're not just gonna hand this thing over and let him destroy Gotham, are we?
Oswald Cobblepot: Of course not! Once we get the money, we kill Jeremiah and his people, give the cord relay to the police, split the $50,000,000 and are hailed as the heroes of Gotham!
Tabitha Galavan:... And we cure Butch.
Oswald Cobblepot: [nodding impatiently] And that! Certainly.
Jeremiah Valeska: Would you believe it? They put me on hold. [sets down his phone] Well, there's always Plan #2.

[He raises an RPG to his shoulder]

Barbara Kean: GET DOWN!

[Everyone ducks as Jeremiah fires at Jongleur and the cord relay, blowing them both up]

Oswald Cobblepot: Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
Jeremiah Valeska: Why do you keep insisting I'm insane?! What's insane about having a backup plan, something Jongleur never knew about? And just so you know, this building is within the blast radius, and because of your interference, I'm gonna detonate the bombs as soon as I'm far enough away to observe the destruction in peace.
Barbara Kean: No, you promised the city six hours!
Jeremiah Valeska: And whose fault is it that I changed my mind? [to one of his followers] Tell our men to re-wire the bombs to work in direct sequence. And, the rest of you... kill these idiots.

[He ducks out as a firefight ensues]


Jeremiah Valeska: [recording] Hello, Bruce.
Bruce Wayne: Jeremiah?!
Jeremiah Valeska: I imagine you're wondering, "Why is Jeremiah doing this?" My brother once said that all it takes is one bad to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. [Bruce sees images of Alfred being tortured] Jerome gave what I thought was the worst day of my life, but it was only after losing everything was I able to face what was inside of me. And I believe I've seen something very special inside of you, as well.
Bruce Wayne: Alfred...
Jeremiah Valeska: But, to free it, you'll have to lose everything and everyone you hold dear. [Bruce sees an image of Scarecrow mixing chemicals] I instructed Scarecrow to mix up something exceptional.
Bruce Wayne: NO!!
Jeremiah Valeska: Your butler is going to show you the path ahead. Now, watch closely.

Jim Gordon: This is a message to the followers of Jeremiah Valeska. Jeremiah claims to have killed me. Well, bad news, I'm alive. So just know you are worshipping a fraud, a pale imitation of Jerome. You did your worst, Jeremiah, and I'm still here.

[Bruce, Selina and Alfred return to Wayne Manor]

Alfred Pennyworth: Right! Well, I'm gonna take a very long, and very hot, shower. And then I'm gonna make us a legendary fry-up. Will you be joining us, Miss Kyle?
Selina Kyle: [smirks] ...I got no plans.
Alfred Pennyworth: Excellent. [to Bruce] You all right, mate? [Bruce nods] Ok, then.

[he leaves]

Bruce Wayne: ...Thank you again. [he sits next to Selina, she props her feet across his lap] I don't know what would've happened, if you weren't there.

[he leans forward and kisses her]

Selina Kyle: ...You're welcome. [pause] Why do you think he's so obsessed with you?
Bruce Wayne: Jeremiah said, all it takes is one bad day to drive a person insane. I wonder if my parents' dying, made me a little insane. Maybe he sensed that. Maybe he wanted to bring it out.
Selina Kyle: [smiles] Well, you proved him wrong.
Jeremiah Valeska: To be fair...[Bruce and Selina jump up as he enters with a gun]... the day's not over yet.

[Jeremiah shoots Selina in the stomach at point-blank range, knocking her backward, then grins and tosses the gun away. Bruce tries desperately to keep Selina alive as Alfred runs in, tackles Jeremiah to the ground and begins pummeling him in the face]

No Man's Land [4.22][edit]

Alfred Pennyworth: You know, I don't know why I brought him here. Shoulda killed him when I had the chance.
Jim Gordon: You did the right thing, Alfred.
Alfred Pennyworth: You say that. You didn't see what he did to Selina. Right, I'd better get to the hospital.
Jim Gordon: I'll stop by when I can. [Alfred leaves as Harvey comes in]
Harvey Bullock: Alfred. [to Jim] Couldn'ta put a cap in that psycho, done the world a favor?
Jim Gordon: Where are we?
Harvey Bullock: Bomb squads hit the last site on the map. After they disarm the bomb, they're gonna put it in the warehouse along with all the others. Also, the mayor called. He wants to lift the evacuation order.
Jim Gordon: No. Tell him we're not doing anything until we have all the bombs locked away. [Harvey nods]
Jeremiah Valeska: Pardon me, Jim?
Jim Gordon: [to his officers] Don't you all have work to do? [they move away from Jeremiah's cell] What is it?
Jeremiah Valeska: I'd like to press charges against Bruce Wayne's butler. I mean, just look at my face.
Jim Gordon: [sarcastically] I think you look great.
Jeremiah Valeska: And, I'd like to speak to Bruce again. We couldn't really talk before, what with his girlfriend bleeding out all over him.
Jim Gordon: ...You tried to prove you're better than your brother. But I'm still here. The city's still here. You're a failure, Jeremiah. Enjoy Arkham. Your brother did. [turns to Harvey] Put him in the box, get him ready for transport.
Jeremiah Valeska: Bring me Bruce Wayne, and I'll tell you where the other bombs are.
Jim Gordon:... We have all your bombs.
Jeremiah Valeska: The maze bombs, yes. I mean... the other ones. [pause] Jim... as an engineer, you expect systems to fail, so you build in redundancies. [stands] And I am a very good engineer.
Jim Gordon: You're bluffing.
Jeremiah Valeska: Am I? How many lives are you willing to bet? [steps closer to the bars] You're right, you know; I did fail. I didn't yet understand the vision I was servicing, but... I do now. My eyes are open, as will yours be. [smiles, turns away] When you realize I'm not bluffing, bring me Bruce Wayne. And I'd like a coffee. Black, two sugars.

Jim Gordon: Back in the GCPD, when I told you there was so much I wish I could change, you asked what I meant.
Leslie Thompkins: Jim...
Jim Gordon: I would change everything that brought us to this point. I would ask you to leave Gotham with me the first moment I saw you, and I would make sure we had a life together. Maybe that'd be a good thing.
Leslie Thompkins: No, it wouldn't. I'm not going back to who I was, but what you said yesterday about part of you always caring for me - I feel the same way. [they kiss] Goodbye. Now, go save Gotham.

Bruce Wayne: It's true. How did you two-
Ra's Al Ghul: Find each other? I like to think it was you, Bruce. You brought us together. I trust everything went smoothly?
Jeremiah Valeska: Like clockwork. Did your men retrieve my bombs?
Ra's Al Ghul: They are en route to their positions as we speak. [leads Bruce forward to the window] From here, we can take in the full majesty of Gotham's destruction.
Bruce Wayne: ...You're both insane.
Ra's AL Ghul: I know it's difficult to fathom, Bruce. But Jeremiah and I are doing this for your benefit.
Bruce Wayne: How is destroying Gotham supposed to help me?
Ra's Al Ghul: Because I had a vision, that out of this crucible of blood and fire, will rise the Dark Knight that your city needs. That I need.
Jeremiah Valeska: To be honest, Bruce: Prophecies, visions? Not really my cup of tea. But our friend revealed something to me: that my twin obsessions, rebuilding Gotham and rebuilding you, are one and the same. You're the brother I never had... the one Jerome never could be. [puts his hand on Bruce's shoulder] We will create a legacy, in this city. Gotham falls... we rise. Together.

Oswald Cobblepot: [to Tabitha, after shooting Butch dead] Did you think I forgot you murdered my mother? That I just... got over it? I have lived with that pain every day. I could have killed you anytime I wanted, but I believe in an eye for an eye. You took away the one person I loved, so I took away the one person you love. And you get to live with that.
[Enraged, Tabitha attacks Cobblepot, but he shoots her in the leg]
Tabitha Galavan: All of this - finding Strange, curing Butch - was all so you could kill him front of me?
Oswald Cobblepot: Exactly. But don't worry: In time, when I feel you have suffered enough, I will kill you, too.
Tabitha Galavan: Not if I kill you first.
Oswald Cobblepot: You're welcome to try.

[After Gotham has been evacuated and the bridges destroyed by Jeremiah, Bruce arrives on the roof of the GCPD to find Jim standing next to a searchlight]

Jim Gordon: Bruce. You're not supposed to be here.
Bruce Wayne: Neither are you, or the dozen cops downstairs. But you stayed to fight for the city.
Jim Gordon: The gangs are carving up territory; we're gonna have to go block by block. I have no idea what we're gonna find. [gestures at the searchlight] A thing like this brings out whatever's lurking in the shadows.
Bruce Wayne: ...The light. You're basically daring whatever's out there to come after you.
Jim Gordon: Let them come. There are still good people out there. They need to know we're here, willing to fight.
Bruce Wayne:... I remember the night we met. You told me "The world may seem dark...
Jim Gordon: "...But there is light."

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

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