"Winged freak terrorizes". Wait till they get a load of ME!
[talking to Antoine Rotelli's burned corpse] Your pals, uh... they're not bad people. Maybe we, uh, outta give them a couple of days to think things over. No? Grease 'em now? Well... okay. You are a vicious bastard, Rotelli [tightens Rotelli's tie] I'm glad you're dead! [laughs maniacally] I'm glad you're dead! [continues to repeat the phrase and laugh]
[after killing Vinnie Ricorso via sharpened quill] The pen... is truly mightier than the sword!
[in TV ad] New and improved Joker products! With my new secret ingredient--Smylex! Now, let's go over to our blind taste test. Uh-oh. He don't look happy. He's been using Brand X! But with new and improved Joker brand...I get a grin, again and again! That luscious tan! Those ruby lips! And hair color so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure! I know what you're saying: 'Where can I get these fine new items?' Well, that's the gag. Chances are, you've bought 'em already! So remember, put on a happy face!
Joker here. Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true under that fiend, Boss Grissom. He was a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice. He's dead now, and he's left me in charge. Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough – but one thing I am not is a killer. I am an artist. And I love a good party. So truce. Commence au festival! And I've got a surprise for Gotham City. At midnight, I will dump 20 million in cash on the crowd. Don't worry about me; I've got enough. You heard it, folks. 20 million. And there will be entertainment. The big du karoo. With me in one corner and in the other corner, the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City, Batman. Can you hear me? Just the two of us. You and me. Mano e mano. I've taken off my makeup. Now...let's see if you can take off yours.
And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? He's at home, washin' his tights! [looks up into the sky and sees the Batwing] Winged bat flies through the night and finds me ready. [to Bob the Goon] Bob, mask. [to crowd in the street] And now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said, If you've gotta go, go with a smile!
Batman: I'm not gonna kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.
Nick: What ARE you?!
Batman: I'm Batman.
Carl Grissom. That you, sugar bumps? [turns around] Who the hell are you?
The Joker. It's me..."sugar bumps".
Carl Grissom. [alarmed] Jack? Oh...thank God you're alive! I heard you'd been--
The Joker. Fried? Is that what you heard? You set me up--over a woman. A WOMAN! You must be insane.
[Grissom turns around, reaches for a gun]
The Joker: Don't bother.
Carl Grissom. Your life won't be worth SPIT!
The Joker. I've been dead once already. It's very liberating. You should think of it as...therapy.
Carl Grissom. Jack--listen. Maybe we can cut a deal.
The Joker. Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. [emerging into the light] You can call me... Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier! [He commences to laugh maniacally as he repeatedly shoots Grissom] Ohh, what a day!
The Joker: So gentlemen, that's how it is. Until Grissom, uh, [chuckles] resurfaces, I'm the acting President, and I say starting with this anniversary festival, we run this city to the ground.
Vinnie Ricorso: Why don't we hear this from Grissom?
Antoine Rotelli: Yeah, and what's with that stupid grin?
The Joker: Life's been good to me.
Antoine Rotelli: What if we say "No"?
The Joker: [stands up and comes towards Rotelli] Well, Tony, nobody wants a war. And if we can't do business, why, we'll just shake hands and that'll be it. [reaches out his hand for a shake]
Antoine Rotelli: Yeah?
The Joker: Yeah.
[Joker grabs Rotelli's hand and starts electrocuting him via joy buzzer-esque device hidden in his palm]
The Joker: [acts surprised, looking at other gangsters] Woo! Woo! [chuckles] I got a live one here! [laughs maniacally while Rotelli catches fire] Oh, there'll be hot time in the old town tonight!
[Joker continues to laugh maniacally and eventually releases Rotelli's body, which - now reduced to a blackened, smoldering skeleton - falls back into the chair; at this moment, Joker's goons enter the room and surround the mob leaders, holding them at a gunpoint]
The Joker: [laughs] Antoine got a little hot under the collar!
Vinnie Ricorso: You're crazy.
The Joker: Haven't you heard of the healing power of laughter? [laughs again and starts erasing his make-up, revealing white skin underneath] Now get out of here! [Joker's goons force the gangsters out of the room] And think it over. [laughs again]
Vinnie's Assistant: We have witnesses. Grissom's signature is perfectly legitimate.
The Joker: It is legitimate! I saw it. I was there. I saw it all. He reached up with his dead hand and signed it in his own blood. And he did it with this pen. [pulls out a poison quill pen] Hello, Vinnie. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check. [throws quill pen at Vinnie; quill pen hits Vinnie in the neck, killing him instantly] The pen...is truly mightier than the sword!
Vicki: Some people say that you're as dangerous as the Joker.
Batman: He's psychotic.
Vicki: There are some people who say the same thing about you.
Batman: What people?
Vicki: Well let's face it, you're not exactly..."normal", are you?
Batman: It's not exactly a "normal" world, is it?
Bruce: What's on your mind, Alfred?
Alfred: I have no wish to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.
Batman: Excuse me. You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? [punches Joker and knocks him against a bell, before grabbing him] I'm going to kill you.
Joker: You idiot! You made me, remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!
Batman: [smirks] I know you did.
[Batman punches Joker in the stomach and knocks him through a wall. He grabs him and helps him up only to punch him in the face again. Joker stands up, muttering and clutching his mouth until he spits out a chattering teeth toy. He retaliates by punching Batman in stomach, only to break his fingers on the body armour]
Batman: You killed my parents.
Joker: Wha-what? What are you talking about?
Batman: I made you; you made me first.
Joker: Hey, bat-brain, I was a kid when I killed your parents! I mean, I say I made you, you've gotta say you made me ... how childish can you get? [puts on a pair of glasses] You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you? Huh!?
[Batman knocks the Joker over the side]
Harvey Dent: We've received a letter from Batman this morning. "Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me."
There was no guarantee that any of this was going to play correctly when it was all said and done. There had never been a movie like it before. There was a lot of risk, too, with Jack looking the way he did and me stepping out in this new way. The pressure was on everybody. You could feel it.
We’re standing there at one point, I’m in my bat suit, Jack is in Joker get-up and I just looked at him and said, ‘We’re grown men, right?’