Batman: The Brave and the Bold
Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008 - 2011) is an American animated television series based in part on the DC Comics series The Brave and the Bold which features two or more super heroes coming together to solve a crime or foil a super villain. As the title suggests, the cartoon focuses on Batman's regular "team-ups" with various heroes similar to the most well-known version of the original comic book series.
The Rise of the Blue Beetle! [1.01]
- Batman: What is this now, the fifth or sixth deathtrap I've been tied up to because of you over the years? Ridiculous!
- Green Arrow: Hey, I said I was sorry. Up and to the right. Who knew his wristwatch was equipped with knockout gas? What, like you've never made a mistake, Bats?
- Batman: Apparently I made one when I thought you could help me stop the Clock King.
- Green Arrow: You keep complaining. It gives me more time to show you up.
- Jaime Reyes: Okay, okay, here's one. Poison Ivy has used her mind-control spores on Superman to pit him against Batman. Oh, oh! And Batman has no kryptonite. Who wins?
- Paco: Easy. Superman.
- Jaime Reyes: Wrong. Batman, by using his kryptonite.
- Paco: You just said he has no kryptonite.
- Jaime Reyes: Trick question. Batman always has kryptonite.
Terror on Dinosaur Island! [1.02]
- Plastic Man: Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Because I'm seeing gorillas riding pterodactyls, with harpoon guns, stealing a boat.
- Batman: It's Gorilla Grodd.
- Plastic Man: It's messed up is what it is.
- Gorilla Grodd: You amuse me, Batman. You dress as an animal. You battle against the worst of humanity, the vile underbelly that only seeks to destroy. You should join my noble cause.
- Batman: My only cause is to send you back to the zoo.
Evil Under the Sea! [1.03]
- Aquaman: And that's how I recovered the stolen statue. I call that "The Mystery of the Stolen Statue." "The Secret of the Mechanical Sea Monster." "Coral Reef Rescue." And the time I wore an eye patch to infiltrate a crew if pirates, I call that…
- Batman: "Aquaman's Undercover Adventure."
- Aquaman: No. "The Time I Wore an Eye Patch to Infiltrate a Crew of Pirates." What you said is good, too.
- Aquaman: Outrageous! I knew you had a hero inside you looking for a way out.
- Orm Marius: It was easy. Every time I smashed the machine, I just imagined it was your face.
- Aquaman: Oh. Well. Good job.
Day of the Dark Knight! [1.04]
- Green Arrow: Okay, Doc, where are we?
- Merlin: Better to ask, "When are we?" It is the fifth century A.D., the place is Britain, and I… am Merlin Ambrosius.
- Green Arrow: No, really, where are we?
- Green Arrow: That's fourteen for me, Bats.
- Batman: We're fighting for our lives against a horde of supernatural creatures. This isn't the time for infantile games. [takes down a monster] Fifteen.
Invasion of the Secret Santas! [1.05]
- Red Tornado: Merry Christmas, Batman.
- Batman: Now's not the time, Red Tornado.
- Red Tornado: But isn't Christmas tomorrow?
- Batman: Not what I mean. Tornado, behind you!
- Thomas Wayne: Merry, Christmas, son. Let's see what Santa brought you.
- Young Bruce Wayne: Based on the dimensions, and weight of the package, and the sound of what's inside, I think I've deduced exactly what it is!
- Thomas Wayne: Our little detective.
Enter the Outsiders! [1.06]
- Wildcat: You and your gizmos. Come on, we should be on the chase, not playing mad scientist.
- Batman: You know, nowadays, there's more to fighting crime than a thick skull and fists. And I wouldn't need to track them with gizmos if I didn't have to bail you out while they got away - twice!
- Wildcat: And who says I needed you to bail me out?! You know, I've been doing this since you were in bat-diapers, and I've gotten along just fine!
- Batman: You're right - you have been doing this a long time. Maybe too long.
- Wildcat: This is my fault. The world's changed around me, and I'm still the same as I've always been--all fists, no brains. You were right. I should have retired a long time ago.
- Batman: If I wanted you to retire, it's because you've been like a father to me. And I didn't want to lose another one.
- Slug: I'll pound you into dust!
- Wildcat: I'd better turn up my hearing aid, because all I can hear is you sucking wind.
Dawn of the Dead Man! [1.07]
- Batman: Revenge is a poison that rots a man from within.
- Gentleman Ghost: No, my friend. Revenge is a fire that keeps me warm in the eternal cold of the grave.
- Speedy: Ohh, what's going on?
- Green Arrow: You were doing a Batman impersonation.
- Speedy: Gosh, huh, I was?
- Green Arrow: And not a very good one. Observe the master. [in deep voice] I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman. And these are my hammers for justice.
Fall of the Blue Beetle [1.08]
- Blue Beetle II: People just don't appreciate the time and expense that goes into this high-tech gear. They'd rather see fisticuffs.
- Batman: True. Uppercuts and bodyslams are no substitute for having the proper tools when it comes to crimefighting. But they are a whole lot more fun.
- Batman: But being chosen doesn't make you a hero. What you choose does.
Journey to the Center of the Bat! [1.09]
- Aquaman: But how small are we?
- Atom: About 15 microns. Small enough to slip between Batman's cells without damage. And uhh, that's Batman's cilia you're hanging from.
- Aquaman: Cilia and sillier!
- Atom: As we travel through the villi, the CP4 barium sonar wave will indicate any monoclinic phylosilicates in our vicinity.
- Aquaman: English, man, English!
- Atom: Uhh, this little doohickey beeps when the cooties are near.
- Aquaman: Ahh, I... cooties, yes.
The Eyes of Despero! [1.10]
- Wotan: Without your helmet, Fate, you are defenseless. (laughs maniacally)
- Dr. Fate: (punching him) I'd call those boxing lessons I got from Bats a pretty good defense.
- Batman: Told you. it's not the helmet, it's the man.
- Dr. Fate: Maybe. But I prefer helmets to haymakers any day.
- G'nort: Okay, okay, all I gotta do is say the oath and save the world. I can't remember it! Ohh, no, no, sure I can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. "In sunniest day, in cloudiest night, no bad guy shall escape my bite..." Oh no, that's not it!
Return of the Fearsome Fangs [1.11]
- Jonah Hex: Well, I suppose you'll be wanting a share of the bounty for these here outlaws.
- Batman: Keep it. I fight for justice, not money.
- Jonah Hex: At least take this and get yourself a proper cowboy hat. I can't be partnering up with someone who parades around in that ridiculous bat getup.
- Bronze Tiger: You're outmatched.
- Batman: Maybe. But you left the school before learning Wong Fei's most important lesson: when outmatched, cheat.
Deep Cover for Batman! [1.12]
- Scarlet Scarab: Totally. The others don't know what I'm capable of. One day I'll show them. I've got the true heart of a hero.
- Batman: [thinking] Hero? A possible ally?
- Scarlet Scarab: I keep it in a big jar at the back of my closet.
- Scarlet Scarab: Plan "B"? But guys, you can't be serious about using Cyclone's bomb to wipe out their entire planet.
- Blue Bowman: And why not?
- Scarlet Scarab: Because after that, what other crime could possibly taste as sweet?
Game Over for Owlman! [1.13]
- Joker: Tsk, tsk, tsk, Batman. Our game was so simple--brooding hero, dashing devil-may care villain. I strap you to a drill press, you lock me in a rubber room, and it's fits and giggles till Aunt Fannie comes home.
- Joker: We'll make the bestest team ever! Joker and Batman! [Batman frowns] Fine, Batman and Joker. Take top billing, but why is it always me compromising for the sake of the act?
Mystery in Space! [1.14]
- Saradath: Welcome, Aquaman. If the most brilliant strategist on Earth sees fit to bring you to Rann in our hour of need, you'll doubtless prove an invaluable ally.
- Aquaman: Oh, how I wish that were true.
- (everyone stares)
- Batman: He's not feeling well.
- Aquaman: How's your aim, Batman?
- Batman: Impeccable.
- Aquaman: We'll see about that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And you. Are you willing to face impossible odds to save the woman you love?
- Adam Strange: Of course.
- Aquaman: Good answer.
Trials of the Demon [1.15]
- Dr. Watson: Evidence does seem heavily stacked against Blood.
- Sherlock Holmes: What did I tell you about being an imbecile?
- Dr. Watson: To... stop?
- Sherlock Holmes: Precisely.
- Batman: Sherlock Holmes, I presume?
- Sherlock Holmes: How did you deduce my identity so quickly?
- Batman: The hat.
Night of the Huntress [1.16]
- Batman: Listen, Beetle. Women are a tricky, tricky business. You have to decipher nearly incomprehensible code. You push the right buttons, get past their firewalls. Only if you can do all that will you find what you're looking for.
- Huntress: Way to go, rookie.
- Blue Beetle: I'm sorry, but your hotness distracted me.
Menace of the Conqueror Caveman! [1.17]
- Booster Gold: Skeets, old buddy, you know what I got to do?
- Skeets: I know what you should do, sir.
- Booster Gold: I gotta team up with Batman!
- Skeets: Or that.
- Batman: How did you track me here?
- Booster Gold: In the 25th century, the Batcave's a historical attraction. With a roller coaster. In 400 years or so, I'm gonna hurk right up there.
The Color of Revenge! [1.18]
- Crazy Quilt: Cowards! Step forth, and submit to my genius!
- Young Robin: Holy delusion of grandeur, Batman. I think Quilt is a few colors short of a rainbow!
- Batman: He needs to be taught to stay between the lines.
- Batman: Well done, old chum.
- Robin: Thanks. I'm glad you finally have faith I can do things on my own.
- Batman: I've always had faith in you, Robin. That's why I trusted you to work the streets of Bludhaven solo.
- Robin: Well, I learned from the best.
Legends of the Dark Mite! [1.19]
- Batman: You're not from around here, are you?
- Bat-Mite: I'm from the fifth dimension. Beings from my realm have powers that you 3-Ds take for magical.
- Batman: A friend of mine in Metropolis told me about menaces like you.
- Bat-Mite: I'm not a menace. You're my hero!
- Batman: Green Arrow's going to love this.
- Bat-Mite: Yes, you've got a question?
- Fanboy: I always felt Batman was best suited to the role of gritty urban crime detective, but now you guys have got him up against Santas, and Easter bunnies? I'm sorry, but that's not my Batman!
- Panel Member: (hands Bat-Mite a piece of paper) Here, read this.
- Bat-Mite: "Batman's rich history allows him to be interpreted in a multitude of ways. To be sure, this is a lighter incarnation, but is certainly no less valid and true to the character's roots then the tortured avenger, crying out for mommy and daddy." And besides, those Easter bunnies looked really scary, right?
Hail the Tornado Tyrant! [1.20]
- Tornado Champion: But why is there evil in the world?
- Red Tornado: Human philosophers have endeavored to answer that question for thousands of years, Son, and have yet to find an adequate answer.
- Tornado Champion: Do you have an answer, Father?
- Red Tornado: No answers. Just an observation: human kindness is far preferable to human cruelty.
- Tornado Champion: Why is it preferable?
- Red Tornado: Because.
- Tornado Champion: "Because" is not a logical answer, Father.
- Red Tornado: Perhaps not, but based upon my studies of humankind, it is the only answer.
- Batman: There's a difference between justice and revenge.
- Tornado Champion: The difference is that revenge is more efficient.
- Batman: The difference is morality.
- Tornado Champion: Morality!? I am above human morality!!
Duel of the Double Crossers! [1.21]
- Batman: Listen, strength comes in numbers. We can survive this if we work together.
- Arges: Yeah? The guy in the last battle said the same thing.
- Batman: How'd that work out for him?
- Gordanian: Ask him yourself. (points out a pile of broken armor)
- Batman: ...right.
- Lashina: You gonna shoot an unarmed opponent?
- Jonah Hex: Fair's fair.
- Lashina: Besides, hand-to-hand combat is so much more... personal.
- Jonah Hex: You can tell a lot about a fellow by the way he fights.
- Lashina: So, what do you know about this fella?
- Jonah Hex: Give me a few more swings, and maybe I'll tell ya.
Last Bat on Earth! [1.22]
- Mister Miracle: Pretty good tandem escape, eh, honey?
- Big Barda: You know what would be a real miracle? If you finally clean out the garage.
- Batman: Guess there's one trap you can't escape form.
- Professor Carter Nichols: This beacon will allow the time ray to find you in the time stream and return you to the present.
- Batman: In other words, don't lose it.
When OMAC Attacks! [1.23]
- Equinox: [to Batman] They say the flapping wings of a single butterfly can stir a wind on the other side of the world. Ever wonder what impact your little bat wings have on this world?
- Batman: Destroying one city doesn't make up for the destruction of another, Equinox.
- Equinox: The universe requires equilibrium. Without it, everything deteriorates into chaos. You of all people should appreciate my efforts. You maintain equal parts of dark and light. It's what makes you such a formidable opponent.
The Fate of Equinox [1.24]
- Dr. Fate: Will you hear our pleas?
- Batman: Listen. we've got major problems!
- Typhon: There's more than a little chaos in this one, Nabu. I like him.
- Dr. Fate: With your permission, I'll borrow all your powers and skills, in the faint hope that combined into a single hero, they may give one of us the necessary edge to defeat Equinox.
- Plastic Man: So who gets the powers?
- Aquaman: A battle royale against insurmountable odds? A clash of titans? My friends, the choice is clear.
- Batman: Fate gets the powers. Only he has the discipline to control such a force.
- Aquaman: I was... going to say that.
Mayhem of the Music Meister [1.25]
- Batman: Your show's about to have a long intermission, Music Meister. Twenty years to life!
- Black Canary: Since the day's been saved, what do you say we grab a bite?
- Batman: Sorry. Crime doesn't take dinner breaks and neither do I.
Green Arrow: Then it sounds to me like it's time to rumble!
Black Manta: Indeed, but it is you who will take the tumble...
Black Canary: I'm sorry, hon, but did you just sing that?
Black Manta: Of course I did not! Wait, yes I did!
I'm sounding shrill against my will, and cannot stop this singing!
Aquaman: And in my ears, I swear I hear a quite distinctive ringing!
Gorilla Grodd: This silly game is very lame, and someone's going to pay!
Black Canary: An unknown force, but where's the source that has us in its sway?
Clock King: Who is doing this to us? And on this, we must concur;
All Villains: They're dastardly, despicable, disturbingly inexplicable...
Gorilla Grodd: And imminently kickable!
All: That dirty, rotten rat is...
Music Meister: The Music Meister!
Put down your arms, my friends, your arrows, guns, and swords,
Your resistance to my charm now ends, when I belt these power chords!
Good guys or bad guys, it doesn't really matter;
You are all just slaves to my hypnotic patter!
As I regale you with my story, you'll know you have no choice,
But to do my evil bidding, when you hear this booming voice!
Oh, I'm the Music Meister!
All: He's the Music Meister! And everyone just fawns!
He's the Music Meister, and we are all his pawns!
Music Meister: And so for me, it's destiny 'to be the maestro of villainy!
Yes I'm the Music Meister, and I'm here to settle the score!
Music Meister: You see, I too have plans for this satellite!
And now that I've established who's in charge...GET TO WORK!
Batman: Well, that's not something you see every day...
Music Meister: The bullies used to pick on me because I sang in choir,
But something very strange occurred when I kept singing higher!
The ruffians around me quickly fell into a trance,
And it was then with wicked glee I made those puppets dance!
I'm the Music Meister!
All: He's the Music Meister, and everyone just fawns!
He's the Music Meister, and we are all his pawns!
Music Meister: I'm the Music Meister! Crime became my path!
Black Canary: He's the Music Meister, and we must beware his wrath!
Music Meister: That voice! Beautiful!
Music Meister & Black Canary: (Exchange of pitches until Black Canary hits her sonic scream pitch and blasts the Music Meister)
Batman: The fiend! His voice can hit a pitch that hypnotically controls anyone who hears it!
This concerto of crime is over!
Music Meister: Batman! I'm sorry, but my work's not quite done yet!
You better tow the line you see, because your wills belong to me.
And now my friends, you have the chance... To show Batman how well you dance!
And now that Batman's been delayed, your usefulness has passed,
A distraction is what I need, so kick into that blast!
Oh, I'm the Music Meister! I cannot help but boast!
All: He's the Music Meister, under his spell we're toast!
Music Meister: I'm the Music Meister, I've won the day, now I must fly!
I'm the Music Meister, and I'm here to settle the score!
Inside the Outsiders! [1.26]
- Batman: You've let larceny taint your loveliness, Catwoman.
- Catwoman: My pets will soon silence that tone of insolence... did you say "lovely"?
- Green Arrow: Less talk, more utility belt. Are you even listening to me?
- Green Arrow: Wait a minute. Are you two flirting?
- Catwoman: Aw, always trying to declaw me, Batman, which is why I must clip your wings... permanently.
- Batman: Not if I collar you first.
- Green Arrow: You are! You're flirting. Flirterers!
Long Arm of the Law [2.01]
- Plastic Man: Do you swear allegiance to the side of goodness and right?
- Woozy Winks: I do.
- Plastic Man: Will you strike terror into cowardly and superstitious criminals everywhere?
- Woozy Winks: I will.
- Plastic Man: Will you pit your prodigious strength and keen intellect against the forces of darkness as my crime-fighting apprentice?
- Woozy Winks: Sure, Plas, whatever you say.
- Plastic Man: In that case, Woozy Winks, by the power I've invested in me, I make you my duly deputized sidekick.
- Batman: Woozy.
- Woozy Winks: No, Bats, I'm fine, thanks to you.
- Batman: No, I meant you're Woozy.
- Woozy Winks: No, really, never been better.
- Batman: [thinking] Sidekicks.
Revenge of the Reach! [2.02]
- Guy Gardner: In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might beware my power, Green Lantern's light.
- Blue Beetle: Poetry?
- Guy Gardner: A sacred oath. That's what I stand for, Bug Boy. What do you stand for? (Jaime says nothing) That's what I thought.
- Scarab: Sorry, Jaime. We must submit to the will of the Reach.
- Jaime Reyes: No! We have to make our own choices, use our own will! We're stronger then the Reach, but only together! Me and you, the best team ever!
- Scarab: We are the Reach.
- Jaime Reyes: No. We are the Blue Beetle!
Death Race to Oblivion! [2.03]
- Blockbuster: Any last words, kid?
- Billy Batson: Just one: Shazam! (changes into Captain Marvel)
- Blockbuster: Huh? Where kid go?
- Captain Marvel: I'll look into that. Right after I do this. (punches Blockbuster)
- Green Arrow: Now hustle. We don't have much time. Move it, team.
- Joker: Yoo hoo. Hero boys! Forget someone?
- All: No!
Aquaman's Outrageous Adventure! [2.04]
- Planet Master: Feel the strength of Jupiter. The speed of Mercury. The cold of Pluto.
- Blue Beetle: Newsflash. Pluto isn't considered a planet any more.
- Planet Master: Insolence!
- Mera: Why are we going to Gotham?
- Aquaman: Because, my precious coral, Gotham City is one of the continent's oldest and most historic surface settlements. It's a center of world art, culture, and commerce. (gunshots in the distance) Windows up!
- Mera: You're here to see Batman, aren't you?
- Aquaman: What? Is this where Batman lives? I had no idea.
The Golden Age of Justice! [2.05]
- Batman: The jig's up, False-Face. You'll find behind prison bars that the truth hurts. Excellent detective work, old chum.
- Detective Chimp: Don't patronize me... old chum.
- Hourman: You sure you know how to work that gizmo?
- Batman: Yes. I built it.
- Dr. Mid-Nite: You need to compress the radius after each ping.
- Batman: Thank you. I know.
- Flash: Let me get in there. I can do it faster.
- Batman: (to himself) Some things never change.
Clash of the Metal Men! [2.06]
- Batman: This time, pirates, you walk the plank... right into prison.
- Aquaman: This will make quite a chapter in my new memoir: "20,000 Victories Under the Sea." What do you think?
- Batman: I'll wait for the movie.
- Batman: These so-called scientists never wanted to make the world a better place.
- Oxygen: Sure we did--a better place for us!
A Bat Divided! [2.07]
- Riddler: Now, Booster Gold, riddle me this: what creature is on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?
- Booster Gold: A 9-legged unicorn!
- Dr. Double X: With this power, Double X will be unstoppable.
- Angry Batman: The only Double Xs you're gonna see are the ones I'm gonna put over your eyes!
- Dr. Double X: The Batmen. You'll be the perfect test for my new power.
- Slacker Batman: What? No one said anything about a test.
Sidekicks Assemble! [2.08]
- Aqualad: We're tired of being treated like second-class superheroes.
- Green Arrow: I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. I've always treated Speedy well. (reminiscing) Quick, retrieve my bow from that crocodile pit!
- Talia al Ghul: Follow me if you want to live.
- Robin: She's so into me.
The Super-Batman of Planet X! [2.09]
- Vilsi Velar: All alone, against the odds, without superpowers... and looking good.
- Batman: Rohtul, you maniac!
- Rohtul: Correction, Batman--brilliant maniac!
The Power of Shazam! [2.10]
- Faceless Hunter: The time came that my master's eye settled upon a new prize--a blue-green jewel glittering in the ocean of space. This world was warm and inviting, and the primitive inhabitants could be controlled by his psychic parasitic clones. My master learned that this was a planet of heroes, beings with the power to resist the Star Conqueror. It became my mission to subdue the heroes of Earth... and bring them into his evil thrall. They fought bravely, but in the end... all were forced to submit to the Star Conqueror's will. Those not susceptible to mind control were destroyed.
- Captain Sivana: You're no match for my mojo, Bat-Boob!
- Batman: You may have a mortal like me beat, but you'll never be as all-powerful as the wizard Shamaz.
- Captain Sivana: Bat-brained idiot! It's Shazam. Shazam! Shazam! Oh, no! Wait! (transforms into a mortal)
Chill of the Night! [2.11]
- Batman: Joe Chill. You are the slinking coward who murdered Thomas and Martha Wayne.
- Joe Chill: That was a lifetime ago.
- Batman: Yes. My lifetime! You took them without mercy or regret and in cold blood, Chill!
- Joe Chill: H--how do you know this? How could you possibly-
- Batman: I know because I watched it happen! I know because I am the son of the man you murdered! I am Bruce Wayne!
- Phantom Stranger: He is beaten. Let your devotion to justice temper your rage.
- Spectre: He took your parents. Ruined your life. Become what you have trained to be: an agent of Vengeance. He knows who you are. If this man lives, Batman dies.
- Batman: Batman may die, but Bruce Wayne... never.
- Joe Chill: Guys, you gotta help me! Way back I whacked a guy for a job, and now that guy's son is back for revenge! That guy's son is Batman!
- (Joker immediately starts laughing)
- Joe Chill: What's funny?
- Joker: You're saying we owe Batman's existence to you? As a killer‽
- Poison Ivy: So it's your fault Batman's always on our backs!
- Joe Chill: No guys, wait.....
- (Chill is punched to the floor, then Batman appears before the entire Rogue's Gallery)
- Joker: Oh yeah, almost forgot about you.
Gorillas in Our Midst! [2.12]
- Spectre: Hmm, typical. My way is easier.
- Batman: But my way is just.
- Detective Chimp: Well, hello there. I don't believe we've had the pleasure. I'm Chimp. Detective Chimp.
- Vixen: B'wany, combine him with something, so we can escape.
- Detective Chimp: I'd rather he combine you and I, my dear. We'd make quite the couple, don't you think? (chuckles)
- Vixen: Charming, but moot. B'wany's powers don't work on humans.
- Batman: (notices a bee) Then use this.
- Detective Chimp: Combine my superior genetics with a bee? Are you mad, man? I vociferously protest! I... (B'wana Beast combines him with the bee) When I get back, I'm going to sting you.
The Siege of Starro! Part 1 [2.13]
- B'wana Beast: From the beginning, mankind has faced... villains! Selfishly pursuing their dark agendas. Greed. Domination. Destruction. But always rising to oppose them have been heroes. A breed apart. Men and women of valor, selfishly leaping into the fray. Battling for justice and protecting the innocent. What makes a hero? Courage, powers, these are the questions that would be asked about those unlikely few who stood up to the greatest threat this world ever faced.
- Booster Gold: No thanks necessary. It's just a great feeling to know that, when Batman needs help, Booster Gold's at the top of his speed-dial.
- Batman: You weren't the first one I called.
- Booster Gold: Number two's not bad.
- Batman: You weren't the second, either.
- Booster Gold: As long as you called.
- Skeets: You called him, sir.
- Batman: I think you know the way out.
- Skeets: We should go before he sics the dog on us again.
The Siege of Starro! Part 2 [2.14]
- B'wana Beast: Why was it that for so many heroes, a lifetime battling injustice was born from some tragic loss? Perhaps because for most, the natural reaction to loss is to wallow in one's pain. To let it eat you up. not for those destined for heroic greatness. Instead, tragedy becomes opportunity to stand up, take stock, and discover what they're really made of. For them it can become... transformative, energizing. And with growth comes wisdom. So the hero can bounce back stronger than before. A champion uncaged, never again to become a prisoner of his demons.
- Aquaman: I shall call this adventure, "The Time the C-List Heroes Barely Helped Save the Day."
Requiem for a Scarlet Speedster! [2.15]
- Black Lightning: So, teach, how'd we do?
- Batman: Impressively. You've learned to take control, to anticipate. You even knew to take out the bridge to prevent the rest of Kobra's cultists from joining the fight.
- Metamorpho: Bridge?
- Geo-Force: More cultists?
- Black Lightning: Uh... whoops.
- Kid Flash: Sorry I've been such a jerk, Jay. Zoom's to blame. And when our moment comes, we'll take him down.
- Flash (Barry Allen): Because when you're a Flash, a moment's all you need.
The Last Patrol [2.16]
- Carnival Barker: What in the name of P.T. Barnum is that?
- Negative Man: He calls himself... Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man.
- Carnival Barker: I love it! Does he have an agent?
- The Chief: The decision, my Doom Patrol, lies with you.
- Negative Man: Well, Chief, you taught us that all men are our brothers.
- Elasti-Girl: The Pilgrims were just ordinary men and women, too, but they longed for freedom and were willing to fight for it.
- Robotman: And the people who wouldn't bow to the Pharaoh, they were just ordinary shepherds and farmers.
- The Chief: I guess you have your answer, General.
- The Doom Patrol: Fire away!
The Mask of Matches Malone! [2.17]
- Poison Ivy: I'll give you one last chance to choose me over oblivion. What do you say?
- Batman: Leaves of three, leave them be.
- Catwoman: Good evening all you gentlemen, mobsters, creeps and crooks,
- Huntress: Men in tights come after you, and still, you’re off the hook,
- Black Canary: For those who scare and terrorize, it’s the dawn of a brand new day;
- All 3: You scum can simply call us, the one and only Birds of Prey!
- Catwoman: Green Lantern has his special ring! (Huntress and Chloe: Pretty strong that little thing!)
- Black Canary: Blue Beetle's deeds are really swell! (Huntress: But who will bring him out of hell?)
- Catwoman: Flash's foes, they finish last! (Huntress: Too bad sometimes he’s just too fast!)
- All 3: While all the boys can always save the day, No one does it better than the Birds of Prey! (BC: The one and only Birds of Prey!) While all the boys can always save the day, No one does it better, no one does it better than the Birds of Prey!:
- Catwoman: Green Arrow has heroic traits, when he's shooting straight!
- Black Canary: (spoken) Hey!
- Catwoman: I'm just saying...
- Black Canary: Aquaman is all courageous!
- Huntress: His little fish, less outrageous.
- Chloe Frazer: Ratchet and Clank can't expand.
- All 3: Becomes putty in our hands! While all the boys can keep you punks at bay, No one does it better than the Birds of Prey (2 Unknown Mobsters: The one and only Birds of Prey)
- All 3: While all the boys can always save the day, No one does it better, no one does it better than the Birds of Prey!
- Catwoman: Batman throws his Batarang, what a weapon, what a bang...
- Black Canary: Check out that utility belt, sure can make a girl’s heart melt...
- Huntress: He’s always right there for the save, I’d like to see his secret cave...
- All 3: While Batman does things in his special way,
He'd do it better with the Birds of Prey! (BC: The one and only Birds of Prey!)
All 3: While Batman always seems to save the day, No one does it better, no one does it better than the Birds of Prey! Birds of Prey...
Catwoman: (spoken) Meow...
- Catwoman: You two are useless.
- Black Canary: Oh yeah? Well, you... are... useless!
- Huntress: Nice comeback there, chief.
Menace of the Madniks! [2.18]
- Booster Gold: I don't get it. If we want to fix the future, why didn't we travel to just before I showed up before, then, tell me not to visit Ted?
- Batman: That would just create another dangerous time paradox.
- Booster Gold: Or, better yet, go back to just before I left to come here to stop me then.
- Batman: That's not how time travel works.
- Booster Gold: Wait a minute. What about visiting my mother before I was born? And...
- Batman: Look, I'm not going to explain the intricacies of time travel to a man without a library card.
- Batman: You never said you and Booster were friends.
- Blue Beetle II: It never came up.
- Batman: A consummate professional like you friends with a dilettante like Booster?
- Blue Beetle II: You're both my friends, okay? You're more of a work friend, and Booster is more a fun friend.
- Batman: What's more fun than fighting crime?
- Booster Gold: Ooh, he's got you there.
Emperor Joker! [2.19]
- Robin: We caught you red-handed, Firefly!
- Batman: But you'll be black-and-blue if you don't give yourself up.
- Firefly: Batman, color me unimpressed.
- Joker: (after killing Batman) I can't believe it. He's... he's actually gone. Let's take a moment to reflect on the passing of a man who was more then just another do-gooder in tights. He was the best arch-nemesis a sociopath could ask for. (falls silent) Okay, let's do it again!
The Criss Cross Conspiracy! [2.20]
- Atom: I thought you said help was on the way?
- Batman: It is. We just need to hold off Bug-Eyed Bandit a little longer.
- Atom: Well, I hope you called the most intelligent, quick-witted hero you could find.
- Aquaman: Sorry I'm late, old chums.
- Atom: We're doomed.
- Katrina Moldoff (in Batman's body): Darling, I don't have to answer to you. I'm Batman.
- Batgirl: Did he just call me "darling"?
- Katrina Moldoff (in Batman's body): What are you waiting for, an invitation? The Riddler's escaped and we're going to find him.
- Nightwing: This time that freak's looking at 20 years behind bars.
- Katrina Moldoff (in Batman's body): I have a much worse fate in mind.
- Batgirl: Life in solitary?
- Katrina Moldoff (in Batman's body): Try no life at all.
- Batgirl: Umm, you lost me.
- Katrina Moldoff (in Batman's body): Why am I not surprised? We're going to extinguish Riddler and do you know why? Because I hate him, hate him, hate him! Uhh, by that I mean he's a menace that must be terminated once and for all.
The Plague of the Prototypes! [2.21]
- Green Arrow: You're lucky I keep Star City so clean, Bats. Otherwise I wouldn't have time to pick up your slack as an intergalactic cop.
- Batman: Yes, I remember when I was only responsible for a single city instead of a country, planet, solar system, and overall existence of all known life.
- Batman: You can be gentle.
- Proto-Bot: Have to be. Kittens are not just cute. But also delicate and defenseless.
- Batman: Okay, Proto, you're back on the mission. But only if you promise to treat every citizen as if they were a kitten. Delicate, cute, and defenseless.
Cry Freedom Fighters! [2.22]
- Batman: Thanks for the assist, O'Brian. We can't let these hoodlums disrupt Election Day.
- Plastic Man: So that's why there are all of those flags everywhere. I just figured today was the Fourth of July or something.
- Batman: It's January.
- Plastic Man: I know. That's why it seemed so weird to me.
- Plastic Man: They were freedom fighters! And you can be, too.
- Qwardian: But we would be facing impossible odds.
- Plastic Man: Did that stop Abraham Lincoln when he was outnumbered by the Redcoats on the D-Day? No. And when John Paul Jones and Ringo ran out of tea in Boston, did that stop them from throwing their party? Of course not. Yes, my friends. I, like George Jefferson before me, cannot tell a lie. Help me, and together we shall let freedom ring.
The Knights of Tomorrow! [2.23]
- Question: Kalibak. Darkseid's demented progeny. I don't know who smells worse: you or the dogs.
- Kalibak: The only stench you'll be smelling is your own, as you cook over the firepits of Apokolips.
- Damian Wayne: But what if I want to be a scientist?
- Bruce Wayne: Crime fighting is a science.
- Damian Wayne: What about a race car driver?
- Bruce Wayne: The Batmobile is the fastest car on the planet.
- Damian Wayne: Astronaut?
- Bruce Wayne: The galaxy is just another neighborhood to patrol for a crime fighter.
Darkseid Descending! [2.24]
- Batman: Sorry, Frost, but I make it my business to protect innocent lives.
- Killer Frost: Innocent? You call the man who broke up with me via text message innocent?
- Batman: Incredible.
- Jason Rusch: Really?
- Ronnie Raymond: Quick and painless. It's the humane thing to do.
- Killer Frost: I could've handled that indignity if he didn't make me pay for all of our dates.
- Jason Rusch: What is wrong with you, Coach?
- Ronnie Raymond: Hey! How did I become the bad guy here?
- Batman: Boom Tubes. Dimensional portals used by the forces of Apokolips.
- Aquaman: Then adventure calls.
- Guy Gardner: Let's get down there so you punks can see a real hero in action.
- Ice: The Greeks must be stopped!
- Booster Gold: Got to text my publicist. Skeets! How many p's in "impending"?
- Skeets: One, sir.
- Fire: Is this suit too short for world-saving?
- Blue Beetle: Umm, I wonder if it's short enough?
Bat-Mite Presents: Batman's Strangest Cases! [2.25]
- Bat-Mite: Scooby-Doo, Batman, and Weird Al. It's the holy trinity of pop culture!
- Weird Al Yankovic: Joker's trapdoor slid me right into the theater's old elevator shaft. Luckily, there was all this cash at the bottom to break my fall.
- Fred Jones: So the only question now is, what to do with it? We can't return it to Bulldog Benson.
- Shaggy Rogers: Like, we could split it up.
- Weird Al Yankovic: Or, I could use it to finance my life-long dream. To turn the old music hall into the Polka and Novelty Song Hall of Fame.
- Shaggy Rogers: Or we could, like, split it up.
- Scooby-Doo Batman: My good friend, millionaire Bruce Wayne, is a big polka fan. I'm reasonably sure he'd match your contribution, Al.
- Weird Al Yankovic: That's wonderful, Batman. Done.
- Shaggy Rogers: Or, like, we could still split it up.
The Malicious Mr. Mind! [2.26]
- Dr. Sivana: Another flawlessly executed heist, tanks to the superior intellect of me, Dr. Sivana!
- Batman: And another ten years behind bars, you fiendish physicist.
- Dr. Sivana: Batboob. Have a face full of science, you big lummox!
- Batman (10 years old): Recess is over, you mean old meanie. You've just earned yourself five to ten minutes of hard time, in the corner of the room.
- Dr. Sivana: Batboob, you're half the man you used to be.
- Captain Marvel Jr.: He may be small, but ours is a heroic bond that can't be broken.
- Batman (10 years old): Yeah! BFFs forever! Except for her. She has cooties.
- Mary Marvel: Hmmph.
Joker: The Vile and the Villainous [3.01]
- Batman: Fisherman, you're a fool if you think you can stop my master plan.
- Fisherman: We'll see about that.
- Batman: I'm going to turn you into a Fillet-O-Fisherman!
- Bulletman: Weeper, you just don't have the moxie to stand up against the ballistic force of justice.
Shadow of the Bat! [3.02]
- Martian Manhunter: And what's bothering you, Booster?
- Booster Gold: For your information, I had to send Skeets to cancel my much-anticipated appearance on The Jack Ryder Show tonight. Who's gonna push my brand-new line of Booster Gold menswear. Now you could definitely use a hipper look. Here's a coupon for 15% off at all participating stores.
- Martian Manhunter: Thank you, but I'll pass.
- Aquaman: Fifteen percent off, you say? By Poseidon, those savings are outrageous!
- Fire: You have got a crush on who?
- Ice: Aquaman. That hunk is global warming to my heart's polar ice caps.
- Fire: First of all, Tora, he smells like the Fulton Fish Market.
- Ice: I love that smell, too.
Night of the Batmen! [3.03]
- Green Arrow: How does he always seem to take out more bad guys than us?
- Captain Marvel: How does he do it without any powers?
- Aquaman: Easy--he's Batman. That's how. Huzzah!
- Batman: This caravan of chaos is making an unexpected stop. At Arkham Asylum.
- Joker: Bat-sie! It's really you! Nice entrance, but you're plumb out of time.
- Batman: There's always time for justice.
Scorn of the Star Sapphire! [3.04]
- Steve Trevor: Have to say, being a secret agent is a cinch when you have a super-powered girlfriend.
- Batman: I wouldn't know.
- Green Lantern: As a Green Lantern, I face some of the nastiest villains in the galaxy. Then I met Star Sapphire. She was different. Easy on the eyes. And we actually had a lot in common. She was a humble Earthling who encountered some otherworldly beings. The Zamorans. They chose her to be a host body for their queen. I can't say I blame them. They even gave her a ring. But it came with a hitch. Once that ring slid onto her finger, she was a changed woman. She became a being of pure evil, bent on the conquest of Earth. I never had any problems with ladies before, but like I said, this one is different.
Battle of the Superheroes! [3.05]
- Pharaoh: Feel the wrath of Osiris! (unleashes a mystic blast) By the power of Horus, it's not possible!
- Batman: Sorry, Pharaoh.
- Robin: Our wrappings are covered in buttermilk, the one thing that repels Pharaoh rays.
- Lois Lane: He's not the same person. We were supposed to have a picnic, but he was with another girl.
- Superman: It serves you right, Lois. After all the love schemes you pulled to get me to marry you!
- Lois Lane: I have no idea what he was talking about.
- Superman: Knock-Knock!
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: A joke? I love jokes! Who's there?
- Superman: Kltpzyxm!
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: Kltpzyxm who? Aw, nuts!
Time Out for Vengeance! [3.06]
- Batman: Are you just going to watch, or could I get a little help here, Creeper?
- Creeper: You got it, pal. Batman, Batman, he's our man. If that really totally disgusting freakishly deformed abomination can't beat him, no one can! Yay, Batman.
- Batman: Not what I had in mind. Let's go.
- Creeper: Oh, I'd love to. But I have group therapy in 15 minutes. And the other psychotics just hate it when I'm late.
- Rip Hunter: Time isn't linear. It's simultaneous. Events in the future create the present as much as events in the past do.
- Fire: Ah, now I've really got a headache.
- Ice: Not me.
Sword of the Atom! [3.07]
- Aquaman: I'm sorry, but you look ridiculous. For goodness sake, man, put on a cape. Show some effort!
- Ryan Choi: I am not wearing my costume. Because one, I'm not a superhero anymore. And two, I like pockets.
- Aquaman: Ummm, pockets. Yes...
- Aquaman: And let's see, what else? There's snazzy costumes, protecting the innocent, beating up villains. Getting your picture in the news. Did I mention snazzy costumes?
- Ryan Choi: You don't get it, Aquaman. Being a research scientist makes me happy. I like math. I'd rather solve equations than get out of death traps. Are you even listening?!?
- Aquaman: No. I stopped once you started babbling on about math.
Triumvirate of Terror [3.08]
- Lex Luthor: Yes, if each of us takes of a different hero, it's a whole new game. Advantage us.
- Joker: Dibs on the swimsuit model.
- Lex Luthor: A mere mortal for a change. But that leaves Cheetah with...
- Cheetah: The Man of Steel? Ha! Steel or flesh, no man can resist the claws of this cat.
- Lex Luthor: Attention all sentient beings in the known galaxy. It is I, Lex Luthor.
- Cheetah: And I, the Cheetah, in the adorable fur.
- Joker: And last but never least, me, the Mountebank of Menace, the Lord of Laughs, the Clown Prince... (Lex knocks him down)
- Lex Luthor: Joker.
Bold Beginnings! [3.09]
- Space Ghost: Looks like Creature King got his just desserts.
- Batman: Actually, he'll probably be dessert.
- Green Arrow: Well, last thing we need is to have Batman swoop in and save our butts again.
- Aquaman: This can't help but remind me of the time Batman and I were trapped together in an adventure I call "The Sea Caves of Doom!" It was...
- Green Arrow: Yeah, I remember the first time I worked with Bats. Years ago, when he was still in his nocturnal loner phase.
- Aquaman: I was in the middle of a story.
- Green Arrow: So anyway...
- Batman: The Hammers of Justice will always pound straight the bent nails of evil.
- Captain Atom: Saving the youth of the world one public service announcement at a time.
- Aquaman: I didn't think it was possible, but he's worse than Booster Gold.
- Martian Manhunter: Since he arrived, he's proven arrogant, self-serving, and cocky.
- Batman: Sounds like the JLI's newest member is going to fit right in.
Crisis: 22,300 Miles Above Earth! [3.11]
- Batman: Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Ross. But I've got a few punchlines of my own I'd like to try out. Penguin, they should call you The Nail, because you're always getting pounded by the Hammers of Justice. I try not to hit your good side, Two-Face, but you don't have one. Riddler, the answer to all your riddles is this. (punches him)
- Batman: I see I missed quite the party.
- Martian Manhunter: Yes, my little soiree was just the thing they needed. It seems different generations can bond over a common desire.
- Batman: Justice?
- Martian Manhunter: Pie.
Four Star Spectacular! [3.12]
- Abra Kadabra: After our last run-in, I returned to the future to figure out why I failed to defeat an unevolved primitive such as yourself. Do you know what I discovered?
- Flash: That you're a terrible villain?
- Abra Kadabra: Temporal paradoxes! You're a part of my history, therefore I can not defeat you without changing the timeline. But in my research I found something that may be of interest to you. (materializes newspaper) Notice the date? It's today. I may not be able to kill you, but I can watch someone else succeed what I have failed. The article mentions a Mirror Master.
- Ambush Bug: I can't believe it. I'm talking to the real Ted McGinley.
- Aquaman: (with Ted McGinley's voice) I'm sorry, but who's this McGinley chap you have me confused with?
- Ambush Bug: Only one of the finest comedic actor of our generation.
- Aquaman: (with Ted McGinley's voice) Wow. Thanks. Sometimes I think people only associate me with the whole "jump the shark" thing. You know, Married... with Children was on the air seven years after I came on. Just so you know.
- Ambush Bug: Ah-ha! Tricked you into breaking character!
- Aquaman: (with Ted McGinley's voice) Wha---? Outrag... You know, I don't really get this show anyway. I'm out of here.
- Batman: So, this is really it.
- Ambush Bug: Yeah, looks like. At least you can say you had a good run.
- Batman: A great run. And until we meet again, boys and girls, know that wherever evil lurks, in all its myriad forms, I'll be there with the Hammers of Justice to fight for decency and defend the innocent. Good night.