Beware the Batman

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

Beware the Batman is an American computer-animated television series based on the DC Comics superhero Batman. The series was premiered in the United States on Cartoon Network on July 13, 2013,as part of their DC Nation block. It is the replacement for Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Beware the Batman is produced by Warner Bros. Animation.

Season 1[edit]


Alfred Pennyworth: It took you five moves to subdue me. It should only have taken you three. Your reaction to me at the foot of your bed was sloppy at best. If I hadn't purposely...
Bruce Wayne: Do we need to do this now?

Bruce Wayne: Your job is to protect Bruce Wayne, not Batman.
Alfred Pennyworth: Are they not the same?
Bruce Wayne: No!

Bruce Wayne: What's this?
Alfred Pennyworth: It appears to have occurred last night. Perhaps if you hadn't slept most of the day. Then again, bats are nocturnal creatures.

Professor Pyg: Welcome to the hunt, Gotham City.

Professor Pyg: Poor Simon Stagg, sure likes to brag. And covet his millions all day. But he's not the last with stolen keys to the past, who learn in the jungle...
Mister Toad: Everyone pays.

(Toad and Pyg are being persued by Batman)

Mister Toad: Boss, it's the bat-guy!
Professor Pyg: It's BatMAN, Toad. Respect our enemies.

Professor Pyg: I say, this isn't Bruce Wayne. I believe you've sacked the butler.
Mister Toad: I was sure that was Wayne.
Professor Pyg: I told you to get your eyes checked! Retinal deterioration is the number one cause of blindness in amphibians!

Alfred Pennyworth: My ankle's broken.
Professor Pyg: Oh dear me. Let me see if I have a bandage for that. (Rumbles through medical bag) Sorry chap, fresh out. (Pulls out a hand-saw) Looks like that leg is going to have to come off!

Batman: (sees Mister Toad) How "Wind in the Willows."

Tatsu Yamashiro: So why are you snooping around this Stagg guy's financials? I thought you were retired.
Alfred Pennyworth: Being retired and being out of the game are two very different things, my dear. But I don't need to tell you that.


(Batman faces Magpie. When she is about to escape, Batman kicks her and she flies onto a crate)

Magpie: Hey, you just hit a girl!
Batman: No, I hit a criminal. You've given me quite a run. 6 warehouses, stolen high-tech electronics worth millions.
Magpie: Really? Millions? I just like the way they sparkle. Mr.?
Batman: Batman
Magpie: Magpie. (Seeing Batman's utility belt) Ooh, nice belt. Shiny, shiny. Can I have it?
Batman:I'm using it right now. How about a shiny pair of handcuffs instead? (Holds up the handcuffs)

[repeated line]

Magpie: Shiny, shiny.

(Magpie had taken Doctor Ravencroft hostage, Batman comes in, and uses a batarang to knock off Magpie's wig, to reveal Ravencroft's secretary. Magpie notices this in the mirror, and is confused.)

Magpie: What is this? Who's face is that?
Batman: You don't know. Two personalities in one body, unaware of each other.
Magpie: What're you talking about?
Batman: Margaret Sorrow was part of an experiment Braxton and Ravencroft were conducting. For your participation, you received early released.
Magpie: No! They took my memories! THEY STOLE THEM FROM ME!
Batman: I'm sorry, but you did this to yourself. Margaret Sorrow volunteered. The experiment was meant to strip the bad out of criminals, and in your case it worked. For a while anyway. (Magpie looks at herself in the mirror) They gave you a new name, a new face, a new life. But sometimes the bad is just too strong. It has a way of coming back.
Magpie: No! Lies! (She punches the mirror) I want to know who I am, and she can give that back to me! (Magpie extends her fingernails into claws, about to kill Ravencroft, when Gordon shots her nails off.)
Gordon: Don't move, Batman. You either,... bird-girl.
Magpie: (She picks up the shot-off nails) Shiny, shiny. (She throws her nails at Gordon. One of them cuts his arm and it makes him cry in pain. Magpie then jumps up, knocks Gordon down and runs off. Batman follows her, but is stopped by Gordon's gunshot.)
Gordon: You're not going anywhere.
Batman: We don't have time for this Lieutenant. Help the doctor, I'll stop Magpie. (He goes after Magpie)

Batman: (After defeating Magpie) No more shiny shiny. (He takes his utility belt from Magpie and puts it back on his waist) Is the doctor safe Lieutenant? (He turns around to see Lieutenant Gordon pointing his gun at him.)
Gordon: Shaken up but fine. She had no idea that Cassie was once Margaret Sorrow.
Batman: Makes sense. Different face, different memories. My guest: Magpie subconsciously drove her here for revenge.
Gordon: Well now Margaret,Cassie,Magpie whatever her name goes back to jail.
Batman: Put her back in the hole that created her. Is that justice?
Gordon: That's the law.
Batman: Will I be getting the same justice?
Gordon: Yes, but not tonight. Just so we're clear, nothing has changed between us. (As he talks, he puts handcuffs on the unconscious Magpie) We aren't friends. You helped me tonight so I owe you. But the next time we cross paths... (He turns around to see that Batman has disappeared)


(Batman has subdued and cuffed two vandals and leaves)

Daedalus: Dang, the cops are totally gonna jack us for this.
Man: (talking form the shadows) They certainly would,...IF they catch you.
Junkyard Dog: Look man, Batman already worked us. Go do your hero thing on someone else.
Man: Oh, I'm no hero. (Emerges from the shadows, revealing a hooded figure in a white suit and cape. His chest has a circle surrounding an A.) I'm a fan. I've been watching you for sometime. Daedalus, your authority challenging street art shows enormous pormise.
Daedalus: It does?... I mean, yeah, duh.
Man: And you, Junkyard Dog, your knack for scupltural destruction I find... inspiring. (he frees them both from the handcuffs) I see genius in you both. I wish to be your patron. (Gives them high-tech weaponry and power tools) Consider this my first... "donation" to your art.
Junkyard Dog: Dude, who are you?
Man: Call me... Anarky.

Alfred: The Batmobile is preped and ready for you, sir.
Bruce Wayne: ...Change of plans, Alfred. Tonight, you drive. (Alfred looks suprized, mostly because he has a broken leg in a cast.)

Alfred: (controlling the batmobile from the Bat-Cave with a video-game like remote control to confront Daedalus and Junkyard Dog) And I acutally thought he was going to let me REALLY drive for once.

(Anarky and Batman are in mid-battle, when Anarky kicks Batman to a lower level)

Anarky: Well done. I'm so gratified that you understand the game.
Batman: This isn't a game. In that gear, those two are dangerous. It's a miracle bystanders weren't hurt.
Anarky: Oh, I would've been fine with that. (slides down to Batman's level) It's the sort of random action that makes ME the better player. You, the black king, representing order, and me, the white king... well, I'm Anarky.

(Anarky and Batman have continued their fight.)

Batman: I not gonna play your game, Anarky.
Anarky: Oh, but you must. I've waited so long for a worthy opponent. One day, they'll write songs about our struggles. You fighting for order and peace. Me for chaos and destruction. (An explosion goes off near one of the nearby sky-lifts. Nobody is hurt.) That was just to get your attention. The real bombs...
Batman: Are on the gondolas, set to explode as they cross one another.
Anarky: How did you know?
Batman: It's the obvisous move.
Anarky: Ouch. Regardless, there's only time enough for you to deactivate ONE of the bombs before they cross. Those poor people on the other tram... (makes a tisking noise. Batman attempts to stop the trams by shutting off the main power, until Anarky kicks him out of the way) NO! Stop them from moving... (Shows a detetonator in his hand) ...Instant detetonation.
Batman: A dead man switch.
Anarky: Oh course. I let go, BOOM! (Daedalus and Junkyard Dog appear, running and panicked)
Daedalus: Boss, Batman is right behind us, he's... (They see Batman)
Junkyard Dog: Oh, dang!
Anarky: These two will stay and slow you down even more. I know you love a challenge. Not such an obvious move now, is it?! I'll be watching, Batman. I hope you can do it. I've wanted a worthy opponent for so long. (He leaves)
Daedalus: (Surrendering) We were just trying to express ourselves.
Batman: So am I. (Knocks out both with one punch each.)

(Batman works to disarm the bombs, when Anarky ambushes him, and the two fight until Anarky pulls out the dead man switch.)

Anarky: Congradulations, you countered my move. You passed the test.
Batman: It wasn't much of a test.
Anarky: You have no idea what a honor it is to be chosen as my enemy... It's a really big deal!
Batman: I thought I'd found an opponent to match wits with, but you're just another lunatic in a costume.
Anarky: Madness is the more interesting choice. Logic and order are so... predictable.
Batman: Unless, I make a logical choice to do something insane. (Batman grabs the dead man switch, punches Anarky, who drops the switch, and nothing happens to the skylifts.)
Anarky: WHAT?! Why didn't they explode?!
Batman: Frequency jamming disk. Unpredictable enough for you?!


Katana: You're never completely safe.

Alfred: The ones that can dodge bullets are always a bother.


(Gordon and a small police squad has discovered a person alive in a statue-like toy soldier)

Gordon: Somebody get the Jaws of Life. Let's cut that guy out.

(Gordon and the bomb squad has the status-suit hostage in the balst bunker of GCPD headquarters. Gordon's phone rings.)

Gordon: Hello?... How did you get this number? And how did you reach me? We're 300 feet underground.
Batman: Hacked your phone and modified your SIM chip. Gotham PD should get better security for their equipment.
Gordon: I'll put that in the suggestion box.
Batman: The man in the suit...
Gordon: Joseph Krimple, AKA Icepick Joe.
Ickpick Joe: What? Who are you talking to? Where am I? Get me out of this thing!
Gordon: What's your point?
Batman: Icepick is one of Tobias Whale's hit-squad goons.
Gordon: Stay away from Whale, Batman.
Batman: Not an option. Just thought you deserved a courtesy call. (Hangs up)
Gordon: (Dials phone) Rodrigiez, it's Gordon. I need you to assemble a... (Dial tone) Hello? Hello? (Looks at phone, says 'No Service' on screen) Batman can get reciption, but not me.

Batman: Computer: last known address of Humpty Dumpty.
Computer: A wall.
Batman: I'll rephrase.

(Batman chases Humpty Dumpty through his castle after he resuced Gordon and Whale.)

Humpty Dumpty: I never wanted this, I never wanted to hurt anyone. But they dragged me into the middle of their war. Luetienant Gordon, Tobias Whale, THEIR war. I just wanna go back to play with my numbers and my toys, but I can't. I can't go back.
Batman: Humpty... Humpfrey, we can sort this out. (Humpty Dumpty has disappeared, and climbed to the tower) You're right, they dragged you into their war, but that's still not justification for what you've done.
Humpty Dumpty: You're a lot of fun. You're the best fun I've had in years. (Laughs) All the kings horses, and all the king's men can't put Humpfrey Dumpler back together again. (Humpty falls off the tower, and Batman fails to grab him. He falls to the ground, and breaks into a thousand pieces, being a decoy of plaster. Batman is shown holding a disconnected arm.)

Policeman on phone: Luetienant Gordon, come in.
Gordon: Go ahead.
Policeman on phone: All the bomb statue-suits down here suddenly deactivated. We can cut them out safely now.
Gordon: Why would Humpty Dumpty do that? Just let them all go like that?
Batman: Humpty's broken, but that doesn't make him pure evil.
Gordon: Nice. You get that from your vigilante's book of proverbs?
Batman: He lost the battle, and he's walking away honorably. But something tells me, the war is far from over.


(Batman takes cover from Simon Stagg's shooting)

Simon Stagg: You're trespassing!
Batman: And You're going to jail Stagg. You didn't like your precious pampered daughter messing with the help. So you set Mason up for a little accident.
Simon Stagg: Prove it
Batman: Give me time. Project Metamorpho, what is it?
Simon Stagg: A game changer. Stagg Industries has found a way to weaponize genetic tissue. Imagine it: a soldier in battle. Impervious to weather, bullets, fire, anything elemental. But not just impervious, a stagg branded Metamorhpo can also manipulate these same elements, turning them against the attacker.
Batman: It's going to kill Mason
Simon Stagg: We're still ironing out the kinks. The important thing is: he'll never have my daughter and you'll never tell anyone what you just saw.

(Two guards joined him in shooting Batman. Batman blows part of Stagg Industries and uses his grapnel hook to escape.)


Metamorpho: Why can't you just leave us alone?


(Lady Shiva has Batman and Katana hostage and has subdued Silver Monkey. She approaches Dr. Ravencroft with the Soultaker Sword.)

Lady Shiva: Oh, the flower you picked has lovely petals, Silver Monkey. I wonder if the same can be said of her soul.
Dr. Bethany Ravencroft: Please, Lady Shiva, I never meant to betray you. It was Silver Monkey who...
Lady Shiva: Shh, shh. Quiet now, my lotus blossom. (Lady Shiva recites an incantation and activates the sword)
Dr. Bethany Ravencroft: What're you doing? No, wait! (The sword drains her soul, leaving her a colorless, skin-covered skeleton)
Lady Shiva: Don't worry, she's not dead. Not yet, anyway. As for you, Silver Monkey, you won't be joining your flower in the sword. My plans for you are far for interesting, and... painful. (Two ninjas carry Silver Monkey away) I'm actually quite grateful to Silver Monkey. Yes, he betrayed me, but he also delivered two of my most troublesome adversaries. This is a most gracious windfall for me, and for the Sword.
Batman: ... You forgot one thing.
Lady Shiva: Did I? And what is that?
Batman: The rocket.
Lady Shiva: What rocket? (a rocket bursts through the window, nearly hitting Lady Shiva, and blowing off the roof. Alfred is shown holding a smoking rocket launcher.)
Alfred: ... That rocket. (Batman breaks through his bonds, then frees Katana)
Katana: ... Glove saws?
Batman: Acid capsules... but good idea.



(Batman appears next to Gordon, who flinches)

Gordon: Even when I know you're coming, I still can't get used to that!









Katana: Anything you like to tell me?
Batman: You think I'm the Golem? Since Alfred left, you've gone with me on every patrol.
Katana: Please, I still need to sleep. What are you down to, four, three hours a night?
Batman: What's your point?
Katana: I know you're patrolling without me. And when you're not, you spend more time training here and less time as Bruce Wayne. But it still wouldn't surprise me if the Batman turns out to be the Golem.
Batman: Except he's not. So who is?

(Batman pays a visit to Sapphire Stagg. He returns one of the robotic suits to her.)

Batman: I believe this belongs to you.
Sapphire Stagg: Prove it
Batman: Like father, like daughter.
Sapphire Stagg: Surprised?
Batman: I gave up being surprised long ago. Occupational hazard
Sapphire Stagg: Well, my father will be surprised. He thinks I have no head for business.
Batman: Is that what they call terrorizing a neighborhood these days, business? If so, your business failed.
Sapphire Stagg: This time
Batman: Walk away Ms. Stagg. You do not want to become my enemy.

(Batman prepares to leave)

Sapphire Stagg: Batman wait. That golem that fought beside you, I saw the television footage. And it look like...
Batman: It wasn't. Rex Mason is dead, your father is in prison because of it and if you come near Old Gotham again, you'll rot in a cell right beside him. Count on it. (Batman leaps out of the building. Sapphire glares at where Batman left)










External links[edit]

Encyclopedic article on Beware the Batman at Wikipedia

  Creators     Bob Kane · Bill Finger   JuJuHd.png
  Characters     Anarky · Batgirl · Barbara Gordon · Dick Grayson · The Joker  
  Live‑action television     Batman · Legends of the Superheroes · Birds of Prey · Return to the Batcave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt · Gotham  
  serials and films  
  Batman (1943) · Batman and Robin · Batman (1966)  
  1989 film series     Batman (1989) · Batman Returns · Batman Forever · Batman & Robin  
  The Dark Knight Trilogy     Batman Begins · The Dark Knight · The Dark Knight Rises  
  DC Extended Universe     Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice  
  Animated television     The Adventures of Batman · The Batman/Superman Hour · The Batman/Tarzan Adventure Hour · The New Adventures of Batman · Batman: The Animated Series · The  
  New Batman Adventures
· Batman Beyond · The Batman · Batman: The Brave and the Bold · Beware the Batman  
  Animated films     Featuring Batman     Mask of the Phantasm · SubZero · Return of the Joker · Mystery of the Batwoman · The Batman vs. Dracula · Under the Red Hood · Year One ·  
  The Dark Knight Returns · DC Super Heroes Unite · Son of Batman · Assault on Arkham · Batman vs. Robin · Batman: Bad Blood  
  With other heroes     Justice League: The New Frontier · Superman/Batman: Public Enemies · Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths · Superman/Batman:
· Justice League: Doom · Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox · JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time · Justice League: War · The
  Lego Movie
· Justice League: Throne of Atlantis · Batman Unlimited: Animal Instincts · Justice League: Gods and Monsters · Batman
  Unlimited: Monster Mayhem
  Animated shorts     Chase Me · Gotham Knight  
  Novels     Dead White · Fear Itself · Inferno · The Ultimate Evil · Enemies & Allies · Wayne of Gotham  
  Related topics     Batkid Begins · Bat-Manga!: The Secret History of Batman in Japan